First off, big big props to Wing Chun, who wrote an amazing recap of "Scribbling Rivalry" way back when it aired the first time, when ABC preempted it in the States for some kind of election crap. Now that all our American friends saw it last week, I'm sure they'll agree that Wing's recap kicked ass. And I'm not just saying that because she scares me. ["Really? 'Cause you better be." -- Wing Chun]
I'd also like to apologize for taking a little longer than usual with the recap. It's been a hellish week, for reasons I don't want to get into. ["Word." -- Wing Chun] Thanks to those of you who've been patient. Those of you who haven't -- and you know who you are -- can get bent.
Judy's sitting on the Soliloquy Stool as the show opens, saying that she spends a lot of time alone. We get a bird's-eye view of her working in the empty bookstore. She voice-overs that she's always judged people who can't be alone, "like [her] sister." She felt that Lily wasn't as "brave" as her, or as "evolved." Back to Judy on the Stool, arms crossed protectively across her chest as she averts her eyes and wills the tears to stay put. She admits that now she's not so sure "alone is such a great thing." The older you get, the harder it is to fit people into your life. "It seems like they just...well, they just don't fit," she adds with a remorseful little chuckle.
At the bookstore, Judy's finishing up with a shipment of books when Lily comes in, laden with Greek take-out and a couple of sodas. She heads for the coffee bar and something catches her eye. "That's my teapot!" she whines, referring to a pot on the counter that's filled with fresh flowers. Judy claims that Lily gave it to her. Lily adamantly denies it and then asks, disbelievingly, "You put flowers in my teapot?" She insists that she wouldn't give Judy "something that nice." For whatever reason, I'm feeling generous, so I'll give Lily the benefit of the doubt and assume that was simply a sibling jibe and not a reflection of Lily's character. She helps Judy cart some flattened shipping boxes out back, and comments on how nice the new patio is. She brings up "the guy" who did the work. "Will...Tuck?" Lily struggles. "Gluck," Judy says with deliberate calm. "Whatever happened to him?" Lily wonders. "He has his own talk show," Judy deadpans. Lily then states the obvious: "He's cute." It's one of those rare moments when I vigorously agree with Lily. Judy acts shocked, and Lily says she's not going to ask him out or anything. But...she does have a lot of work that needs to be done around the house. You know, I think I could probably find a few jobs for Will myself. Judy asks why Lily doesn't get Rick to do the repairs. Lily says that Rick is way too busy, especially with the Atlantor project. "Unless you don't want me to call [Will]," Lily says. Whoa, mark that down kids -- Lily's being considerate. Judy says she doesn't care, adding, "You're the one who likes him." "Oh, shut up," Lily smiles. The conversation turns to business and the Booklovers club, and we learn that it's doing really well. Judy can hardly keep up. The picture board is jammed with photos, one of which is Judy's. Lily's pleasantly surprised to see her up there. "I met someone, too," Judy says coyly. Lily wrestles off her jacket, looking to get the skinny. His name is Paul, he's a commodities broker, and tonight will be their third date. Judy looks like she's about to bust with pride. And, right on cue, here's Lily with a big sharp pin: "Wow, that's a lot. For you." Judy takes it in stride though, and as they get down to their Greek take-out, she describes Paul a little more. She says he's "very handsome, very funny...articulate, ed-u-ca-ted." Lily is suitably impressed by the list. Judy jokingly warns Lily not to say anything, as if it may jinx things. Lily wonders why Judy hasn't said anything about Paul. Judy says she was waiting to make sure that things were real. Lily says she's "so happy for [Judy]," and I think she really means it. Judy tells her not to be "happy yet. Be cautiously, apprehensively, optimistically skeptical." Lily rolls her eyes.
Meanwhile, Eli's at Rick's, strumming his guitar while some demon writhes around the living room. Oh, it's Wannabe, busting some Alanis Morissette moves. Wannabe moves to the bookshelf and inspects some family pictures, asking Eli about them. A shot of him in a tiny little football uniform somehow inflames Wannabe with a case of itchy pants, and she slinks over to Eli, slides the guitar our of his hands, and straddles him. Please understand how hard this is for me. She asks if he's ever gone out with a cheerleader. He says he has, and asks why. She pulls out some tired old line about how she wanted to put on a little cheerleading outfit for him, and get herself some pompoms, and...Hey! She's making a mockery of everything that Bring It On stands for. Blasphemer. She moves in and their lips connect like wet plungers, slurping and sucking. Jesus, I'm trying to eat my breakfast, here. She leans back with a devilish glint in her skankonious little eyes and suggests that they go upstairs. "My dad will be home any minute!" Eli protests. "That's why they made doors," Wannabe purrs. I'd love to demonstrate on her why they made boots. No, really. I would. She moves in to plumb his esophagus again, and then gets up, announcing, "I'm hungry." She heads for the kitchen, stretching her arms over her head in a way that, I guess, is meant to be seductive. I notice for the first time that she's wearing a pair of what seem to be Jordache jeans. Remember those? The ones with the fancy designs on the pockets and shit? Well, they're coming back, kids. Don't say I didn't warn you. Anyway, Eli looks a little relieved to hear that Wannabe's hungry, and suggests that they go out for something to eat -- somewhere where his dad won't catch them having sex.
Rick comes through the door at this point, wearily calling out, "Hey, I'm home." "Hey," comes Wannabe's voice from the kitchen. Rick, of course, has no idea to whom this siren's song belongs, and he emits a puzzled, "Uh..." as he finds Wannabe standing in front of the fridge, holding the door wide open. Like, make yourself at home much? The fridge is sad and empty, which Wannabe courteously points out to Rick, saying, "You must eat out a lot, huh?" She closes the door and arches her back some more. Seriously, is she trying to model herself after a stripper now? Eli comes downstairs with his jacket on, and Wannabe moves immediately to his side and puts her arm around him. Rick looks a little uncomfortable and asks where Jessie is. Eli answers him and then starts heading for the door, still dragging that dead weight with him. Rick asks where they're going -- but it's more rhetorical than an honest inquiry. Eli says they're going for something to eat, and Rick reminds him it's a school night. Eli resists. Rick asks to talk to him for a second, gesturing toward the dining room. Rick mentions their deal: Eli doesn't go out on school nights until he gets some "studying" done. "Dad, I'm not going out, I'm just going to get something to eat." Eli protests, illustrating brilliantly why he's been doing so poorly on the vocab section of the SAT. We see Wannabe, sporting her seventies ski vest, propping herself against the wall and watching the exchange with a look somewhere between boredom and contempt. Rick tells Eli that no one is going out; they're going to order in, and if Wannabe wants to stay, she's welcome. Which strikes me as a pretty fair deal. Eli still brats, wanting to know why it matters where he eats. Rick actually stands firm this time, telling Eli there's no argument -- they have a deal. Eli sighs, defeated, and Rick heads upstairs.