Episode Report Card Niki: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pressure Cooker
By Niki | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 11.20.2000
We return from commercial to find Rick and Peg browsing the aisles of a grocery store, where Peg is busily complaining about processed, prepared foods and all the chemicals they contain. She then goes on to complain about the absurdity of all the Thanksgiving dinners she used to spend hours preparing, "and for what?" Don't hurt yourselves, it's a rhetorical question: "So we could sit around afterwards and talk about everything except what we were really feeling. Your father with his work, and your brother watching the football game, and you not saying anything..." Rick protests that he talked. She insists it was only when she pulled it out of him. Blah de blah backstorycakes. Rick insists that he liked Thanksgiving, and his mom gets pudding-mouthed, touching his facing and calling him something I can't for the life of me make out. I think it's Rich. He begs her not to call him that. "Not to call you what?" Lily asks, sneaking up on them and hoping to hear some potty talk. Rick introduces them, and Lily puts out her hand, but Peg throws open her arms, and the two quickly embrace. They smile and gush, smile and gush. Lily makes meeting the parent look effortless. It's a skill I've never mastered. I get all shy and clam up. She, on the other hand, knows just what to say and makes ass-kissing look sincere. To be fair, Peg does her share of puckering too. It all concludes with Rick getting an affectionate face pat from his mom, followed closely by one from Lily on the other side. Feeling claustrophobic and overwhelmed by the estrogen, Rick takes a step back and reminds them that they're there to shop. "You've done it already," Lily points out as they resume their stroll. She insists that she's going to pay for half. "Yeah, right," Rick snides. He really does. I rewound it three times to be sure. Guess Lily doesn't ante up all that often or something. Rick suggests that he and Lily choose some wine while Peg goes to "harass the butcher for selling turkeys with antibiotics or hormones or whatever." Peg says, "You're damn right I will!" God help that butcher. The second Peg wheels away with the cart, Lily proclaims her "so cute!" Rick doesn't seem so convinced, saying that he loves her, but he's glad she lives in a different state. He backs Lily up against some strategically placed corn-husks-and-colored-leaves display and proceeds to lay a big old smooch on her. Clean-up on aisle eight! His cell phone rings, and we cut to Peg who, for a woman her age, clearly has twice the hearing I do. She stops and turns at the sound of the phone, smirking to herself at the sight of the two grown-ups making out like fourteen-year-olds. It's David on the phone, obviously relaying some kind of design emergency no doubt involving everyone's favorite egomaniac. Rick reluctantly says he can be there in two hours, and looks like he's about to apologize for Lily, but she speaks up first, saying that she'll take his mother to lunch. After he hangs up the call, Rick hangs up about his mother going to lunch with Lily. He's worried his mom will blab all his embarrassing teen sex stories and then pull out the pics of little Ricky on the bearskin. Pardon me for a second while I imagine big Ricky on the bearskin. Talk amongst yourselves...Okay, where was I? Right, Lily assures Rick that she already knows about his teenage sexuality. I have no idea what this is supposed to mean, since we've never seen them discuss the matter. Maybe she's trying to tell him he's bad in bed?
At the very red restaurant, which appears to be an Indian buffet, Lily frets that the food won't be to Peg's liking. Peg emphatically insists that, no matter what Rick thinks, she's not a vegetarian. She's just concerned about what goes into her body. I don't know why, but the way she talks about her philosophies makes me feel like there should be a product plug at the end of it. She says, "Mikey lost twenty pounds in three months just by watching what he ate. I'm so proud of him." "Mikey?" Lily asks quizzically. Mikey, Rick's long-lost and never-mentioned brother. Peg clarifies that she's not worried about weight -- people make too big a deal over that, and then she adds that Lily doesn't have to worry about that anyways. Sela slips the writers a fifty and makes sure the spit bucket (tm Heathen) is in place and ready to receive her Indian outtakes. Peg then slides her another one, asking, "And you're thirty-six?" "Oh, I wish," Lily laughs, tossing her hair. Sela slips the writers a twenty. Thirty-six is good, but it's not worth fifty bucks. Peg then shifts gears, saying that she knows Rick cares for Lily a lot since he talks about her all the time. Lily, of course, looks pleased that Rick's been following the regimen. Peg goes on to say that Lily must've noticed that Rick's not the most communicative guy. Lily insists she doesn't have that problem with him. Maybe if she'd shut up about herself for more than two minutes, she'd notice what everyone here already knows: Rick doesn't say much, especially about his problems. Peg is happy to hear that Rick's opening up and says Lily should have seen him twenty years ago. Lily says that she sometimes sees "glimpses" of that withdrawn boy. Peg says that Rick has always kept everything inside, and then asks whether he's mentioned his brother much. When Lily says he hasn't, Peg looks thoughtful for a moment, as if she's considering whether to go on, then plunges in saying that Rick's brother is a recovered alcoholic, and that it's been a long, hard struggle. She reveals an interesting tidbit about Rick's character, saying that it all proved too much for Rick to handle, and he basically shut his brother out. Lily wants to know whether they speak. Whispering hoarsely through tears, Peg chokes, "I don't believe they've spoken in seven or eight years." Lily is very sympathetic. Peg swallows the tears and forces a smile, saying brightly, "If he knew I told you, I'd be in such trouble!" Lily wants to know why. Duh. "Because he knows I can't keep my mouth shut about these things," Peg squeezes out, clamping her hand over her mouth. She really looks like she's going to bawl for a second but then gets it under control. Lily reaches across and grabs her hand, saying, "Peg, I'm so glad to know you, and I'm happy to hear whatever you want to tell me." Peg smiles through her tears, which are in serious danger of soaking her little hippie Guatemalan patchwork pullover. Peg thanks her, then adds, "You wouldn't believe this, but I haven't always been this wonderful." They share a laugh as Lily earnestly thinks, me neither.
When Lily arrives home, laden with grocery bags and kicking knapsacks out of the doorway, she's greeted by Axl Rose. Oh wait, that's Judy who made a rather unfortunate choice of headgear. Taken with her tight hipster pants, it was an honest mistake. Lily is surprised that Judy's there already. "I wanted to sop up every possible moment together this Thanksgiving," Judy says, but the only thing sopping is the sarcasm in her voice. She levels Lily with a god-help-me stare as Barbara, the mother of all mothers, comes into the kitchen behind her. True to form, immediately after hugging Lily hello, Barbara's off on a kvetch about the thing they called "lunch" on the airplane. Newsflash, Barbara: airplane food always sucks. They didn't do it just to piss you off. Lily asks how Barabara's doing and gets the typical cryptic response, "Oh, you know me."