Mighty Big Props to Heathen for graciously covering my ass last week and doing such a brilliant job of it. I thank her in advance for the things I'm going to pillage from her recap.
We open with Rick in the Cave of Shadows that is his apartment, on the cordless with his mother. He's trying to convince her that she doesn't need to rent a car, but she's clearly being stubborn about it. Eli mutters to Rick that he's "not doing any yoga with her," which naturally prompts Rick to inform her that Eli can't wait to do some yoga with her. Har. The kids finish grabbing their stuff for school as Rick concludes the conversation by reluctantly conceding that she should go ahead and get the rental car, even though it means she'll miss the exit and get lost for hours when he's perfectly willing to pick her up. Rick wonders whether Jessie's had breakfast, and she reminds him that she never eats it. Eli assures Rick that Jessie won't starve, but Rick tries to palm off a banana on her. Jessie is disgusted. We follow the banana as it flies through the air and lands on the table with a rejected little thump.
From one fruit to another: the banana shot drifts into a close-up of Miles peering closely at a model and "hmmm"-ing to himself. "I search for a word..." he intones, pacing in front of the tiny structure. "Excitement...adrenal stimulation," he drones in his monotone. Miles wallows a little in his bloodthirsty businessman image, lecturing David and Rick on the "carnivorous nature of man," which people other than he seem determined to shun. He then lets them know that, despite the tiny crumbs of praise he tossed them, the building's still not quite there. It's got to be "just right" if he's to "make a last stand against the ravages of mortality in this edifice." What an ass. One of Miles's lackeys steps forward to help him on with his coat. David steps up to remind the little Napoleon that he still needs to make "a design payment or two." Miles assures them that it will be taken care of, and glances at his other lackey, who in turn glances into the leather-bound notebook she's holding and writes earnestly. Miles turns and begins to strut out, tossing over his shoulder that he'll be in touch soon about the round of changes. Lackey #1 waits the prescribed amount of time, then falls in step behind him. Lackey #2 counts off the beats then follows suit. Man, they're creepy. They remind me of those chicks in that old Robert Palmer video and, thanks to them, that bloody song is now running relentlessly through my head. As Miles reaches the entrance, Lily strolls in past him. Miles again embraces his inner carnivore and turns to eye his prey appreciatively. If it were possible for him to actually generate liquid in that dried-out shell he calls a body, he'd probably be drooling. Rick points out that "that was Miles Drentell," as Lily walks up. She says she's wanted to meet him, to which David replies, "I'm sure you'll have plenty of chances." He doesn't sound happy about it.
Glancing at the model, Lily proclaims, "My brilliant boyfriend!" She then says that he has to show it to his mom. Maybe she'll give him a gold star! Rick says that his mom thinks that everything he does is beautiful, and she'll probably tell him that Lily is beautiful before she even meets her. Whatever, Lily thinks. It'd just be a matter of time before she'd say it, anyway. They then shiver in horror at the thought of both their mothers being in the same room and proceed to bicker playfully over who's going to get the turkey. Rick claims that Lily can't even lift the turkey they'll need to get and then they proceed to list off -- for our benefit, really -- who'll be at dinner. You'll find out soon enough anyway, so here goes: Lily's mom, Rick's mom, their kids, Judy, and Aaron.
Rick hops on the Soliloquy Stool (tm Heathen) to reminisce about the first time he realized his mom was "cool." It was when everyone wanted to hang out at his house. On cue, his mother shows up at his door. Rick continues on the stool, remembering that when his friends would have trouble at home, they'd always come stay with Rick's family. And his mom was always "cool," no matter how many people there were. Rick's mom comes in and we get our first good look at her. She's one of those older women that always grace ads for retirement funds and vitamins: lean, fit, made up, and wearing clothing typical of someone twenty years younger. She greets Eli and the inevitable grumblings from Rick about schoolwork tumble out. Hip Granny proclaims exuberantly, "He's a senior! Who cares about homework?" Oh, I don't know...someone who actually wants to graduate? "Way to go, Grandma!" Eli says. Yeah, way to undermine all the things Rick and Karen are trying to do after you've been in the house for exactly eight seconds. Rick insincerely thanks her. Hip G announces that she'd like to hear Eli play, just as the phone rings. While Rick answers, Eli grabs Hip G's bags with a fantastic scowl. Hip G's not just cool, she's also in tune, and she can sense that something is amiss. Eli tells her they'll talk "sometime when he's not around," referring to Rick. Jessie comes bounding through the door, with Karen treading dully behind her. Karen and Peg -- Hip G's actual name -- exchange hugs and pleasantries. Hip G informs Karen that she "just got back from a retreat in Big Sur." It involved hiking and massages, and my warning bells are going off. My only experience with people who "retreat" is a former boss who is a self-proclaimed New Ager and is entirely looney tunes and is never shy about telling people what they should be doing with their lives. Not to say that all "retreaters" are such, but I've got my eye on Peg, just the same. Anyway, Jessie drags Peg off to look at her martial-arts trophies, and Karen hangs in the hallway waiting for Rick to get off the phone. Since he's talking to Miles, hanging up should be no mean feat. She looks at her watch and then mouths that she has to go -- she's got young doctors to schtup -- and Rick tries unsuccessfully to wrap up the call. Tired of waiting, Karen asks quietly whether Rick's going to keep the kids past Thanksgiving Day. He's getting an earful from Miles on the other side, and motions to her to wait a sec. She puts on her martyr face. Rick finally ends the call and tells her he'd love to have the kids all weekend. She says it's fine since she had them last Thanksgiving. As she makes to leave, Rick initiates some awkward questioning about her plans, no doubt remembering his lonely stalkeresque stroll through suburban neighborhoods last year. Karen insists that she's been invited to have dinner with some friends. She leaves as Rick wishes her a subdued "Happy Thanksgiving."
Jessie, meanwhile, is giving Hip G a crash course in kicking the crap out of someone. Jeez, my grandmother would freak that one of us would get our eyes poked out and she would categorically refuse even to humor such an undertaking. Then again, she makes me yummy jam, so who am I to complain? Anyway, Jessie convinces Hip G to try to attack her and then proceeds to almost puncture granny's throat. Hip's a good sport, though, and laughingly sits on the bed, asking how Jessie's ability to kick some serious ass affects her relationship with boys. "What relationship?" Jessie asks sullenly. Hip's all over it, asking sagely, "How's life outside of Tae Kwon Do?" It's pretty evident that Jessie's not too happy about high school, but she's stoic about it, just like a little Rick. She insists that, even though it's hard, she doesn't need help. Granny steers the conversation to Lily, and Jessie says that she's okay and she's "really pretty." Hip the World-Wise Granny wants to know how important that is. Sprint's marketing department pricks up its ears. Jessie says that she guesses it's pretty important to Rick. Peg shifts the talk to Lily's kids, asking what Jessie thinks of them. Jessie is less than enthusiastic. Peg slips on her finger puppets and tries to draw Jessie out by admitting that she never imagined, when Rick and Karen divorced, that it would mean there'd be so many new people in her life. It's not like they even asked anybody! Jessie's not wise to the ploy, and admits that she's pissed off because she always has to change her life to suit Rick's plans with Lily. She's particularly upset that Lily will probably have canned cranberries at Thanksgiving instead of the good kind that Karen makes. As if she's going to eat anything, anyway. Peg suggests that they make their own cranberries to take to dinner, which seems to appease Jessie.
Cut to Rick and the gang sitting at the table eating take-out. He insists that he got the good stuff in honor of Peg. The phone rings, and Eli snides, "Miles Drentell." From the way Rick says "Hey you," it clearly is not, and the kids knowingly say, "The Mom." Lily is calling to see whether Jessie wants her to make anything special, or whether Jessie would like to bring something. It's actually pretty thoughtful of her. I like Lily much better when she's not around much. Jessie and Peg share a look, and Jessie says that they'll bring the cranberries. Eli asks whether Peg has dated anyone recently, and she says there was a guy back in Kansas City, but he was "just sex." Right. I'm all for ditching the hang-ups and everything, but dude, there's a time and a place, and discussing seniors' sex over chow mein just isn't it. Eli, however, is undisturbed and high-fives Peg across the table. Jessie feigns shock. Rick returns to the table and is all excited that Jessie's making the cranberries. He tells his mom that she's going to have a great time at Lily's: "She's really something, and her kids are great -- even if Jessie hates Grace." He says the last part teasingly, but Jessie is enraged. I guess she's embarrassed or something. Rick amends the statement: "Or you just think she hates you." Granny watches Jessie carefully. Rick blabs on, saying that Zoe is totally hung up on Jessie and can't stop asking about her. He glances at his mother, who's pursing her lips. She shakes her head at him. He shuts up and looks at Jessie, who's staring angrily at her plate. Rick changes the subject to touristy things, and in the corner of the screen, we see Jessie move some of her food onto Eli's plate. Eli and Rick don't notice, but Granny does. Rick jokes that if Jessie doesn't eat her dumpling, he's going to. She eagerly offers it up. He insists that he was kidding -- she hasn't eaten a thing. Granny casts an all-knowing eye between Jessie's face and her plate, chewing solemnly. Eli pipes up to ask whether he can get out of Thanksgiving dinner if he can get a date. (I think he said date, but it may have been "gig." Who cares.) Rick says, "Absolutely not," and Eli brats like Rick's being unreasonable or something. Granny watches. Jessie asks whether she may be excused to do her homework, and both kids tear upstairs. Peg insists on clearing the table, and she stops to Rick's chair to kiss him on the side of the head and say, "You know, you have wonderful children." But..."I do think that Jessie is a little upset about going to Lily's on Thursday," Peg opines. Rick insists she's not. "Did you ask her?" Peg asks. Rick insists that Jessie is being "melodramatic." "Oh, is that what that is?" Peg asks smartly. Speaking of not cluing in to your kids, Peg goes on telling Rick what he's doing wrong: "I also noticed that you're on the phone an awful lot." Rick protests. "Listen, I know how hard it is to raise kids alone. I was there," Peg says. Oh, so that's what makes her the expert. I was wondering. Rick insists that if Jessie has a problem, she'll tell him -- they have that kind of relationship. "Oh, wonderful," Peg says, planting another kiss on his forehead. "It's the only kind to have." Right, so why don't you have it with your own kid? Why don't you take your own advice and try talking to him, instead of at him? I'm not saying Granny's off in her observations, mind you -- just the delivery. As she searches for fortune cookies in the kitchen, Rick fiddles with the food on his plate, looking troubled.
We return from commercial to find Rick and Peg browsing the aisles of a grocery store, where Peg is busily complaining about processed, prepared foods and all the chemicals they contain. She then goes on to complain about the absurdity of all the Thanksgiving dinners she used to spend hours preparing, "and for what?" Don't hurt yourselves, it's a rhetorical question: "So we could sit around afterwards and talk about everything except what we were really feeling. Your father with his work, and your brother watching the football game, and you not saying anything..." Rick protests that he talked. She insists it was only when she pulled it out of him. Blah de blah backstorycakes. Rick insists that he liked Thanksgiving, and his mom gets pudding-mouthed, touching his facing and calling him something I can't for the life of me make out. I think it's Rich. He begs her not to call him that. "Not to call you what?" Lily asks, sneaking up on them and hoping to hear some potty talk. Rick introduces them, and Lily puts out her hand, but Peg throws open her arms, and the two quickly embrace. They smile and gush, smile and gush. Lily makes meeting the parent look effortless. It's a skill I've never mastered. I get all shy and clam up. She, on the other hand, knows just what to say and makes ass-kissing look sincere. To be fair, Peg does her share of puckering too. It all concludes with Rick getting an affectionate face pat from his mom, followed closely by one from Lily on the other side. Feeling claustrophobic and overwhelmed by the estrogen, Rick takes a step back and reminds them that they're there to shop. "You've done it already," Lily points out as they resume their stroll. She insists that she's going to pay for half. "Yeah, right," Rick snides. He really does. I rewound it three times to be sure. Guess Lily doesn't ante up all that often or something. Rick suggests that he and Lily choose some wine while Peg goes to "harass the butcher for selling turkeys with antibiotics or hormones or whatever." Peg says, "You're damn right I will!" God help that butcher. The second Peg wheels away with the cart, Lily proclaims her "so cute!" Rick doesn't seem so convinced, saying that he loves her, but he's glad she lives in a different state. He backs Lily up against some strategically placed corn-husks-and-colored-leaves display and proceeds to lay a big old smooch on her. Clean-up on aisle eight! His cell phone rings, and we cut to Peg who, for a woman her age, clearly has twice the hearing I do. She stops and turns at the sound of the phone, smirking to herself at the sight of the two grown-ups making out like fourteen-year-olds. It's David on the phone, obviously relaying some kind of design emergency no doubt involving everyone's favorite egomaniac. Rick reluctantly says he can be there in two hours, and looks like he's about to apologize for Lily, but she speaks up first, saying that she'll take his mother to lunch. After he hangs up the call, Rick hangs up about his mother going to lunch with Lily. He's worried his mom will blab all his embarrassing teen sex stories and then pull out the pics of little Ricky on the bearskin. Pardon me for a second while I imagine big Ricky on the bearskin. Talk amongst yourselves...Okay, where was I? Right, Lily assures Rick that she already knows about his teenage sexuality. I have no idea what this is supposed to mean, since we've never seen them discuss the matter. Maybe she's trying to tell him he's bad in bed?
At the very red restaurant, which appears to be an Indian buffet, Lily frets that the food won't be to Peg's liking. Peg emphatically insists that, no matter what Rick thinks, she's not a vegetarian. She's just concerned about what goes into her body. I don't know why, but the way she talks about her philosophies makes me feel like there should be a product plug at the end of it. She says, "Mikey lost twenty pounds in three months just by watching what he ate. I'm so proud of him." "Mikey?" Lily asks quizzically. Mikey, Rick's long-lost and never-mentioned brother. Peg clarifies that she's not worried about weight -- people make too big a deal over that, and then she adds that Lily doesn't have to worry about that anyways. Sela slips the writers a fifty and makes sure the spit bucket (tm Heathen) is in place and ready to receive her Indian outtakes. Peg then slides her another one, asking, "And you're thirty-six?" "Oh, I wish," Lily laughs, tossing her hair. Sela slips the writers a twenty. Thirty-six is good, but it's not worth fifty bucks. Peg then shifts gears, saying that she knows Rick cares for Lily a lot since he talks about her all the time. Lily, of course, looks pleased that Rick's been following the regimen. Peg goes on to say that Lily must've noticed that Rick's not the most communicative guy. Lily insists she doesn't have that problem with him. Maybe if she'd shut up about herself for more than two minutes, she'd notice what everyone here already knows: Rick doesn't say much, especially about his problems. Peg is happy to hear that Rick's opening up and says Lily should have seen him twenty years ago. Lily says that she sometimes sees "glimpses" of that withdrawn boy. Peg says that Rick has always kept everything inside, and then asks whether he's mentioned his brother much. When Lily says he hasn't, Peg looks thoughtful for a moment, as if she's considering whether to go on, then plunges in saying that Rick's brother is a recovered alcoholic, and that it's been a long, hard struggle. She reveals an interesting tidbit about Rick's character, saying that it all proved too much for Rick to handle, and he basically shut his brother out. Lily wants to know whether they speak. Whispering hoarsely through tears, Peg chokes, "I don't believe they've spoken in seven or eight years." Lily is very sympathetic. Peg swallows the tears and forces a smile, saying brightly, "If he knew I told you, I'd be in such trouble!" Lily wants to know why. Duh. "Because he knows I can't keep my mouth shut about these things," Peg squeezes out, clamping her hand over her mouth. She really looks like she's going to bawl for a second but then gets it under control. Lily reaches across and grabs her hand, saying, "Peg, I'm so glad to know you, and I'm happy to hear whatever you want to tell me." Peg smiles through her tears, which are in serious danger of soaking her little hippie Guatemalan patchwork pullover. Peg thanks her, then adds, "You wouldn't believe this, but I haven't always been this wonderful." They share a laugh as Lily earnestly thinks, me neither.
When Lily arrives home, laden with grocery bags and kicking knapsacks out of the doorway, she's greeted by Axl Rose. Oh wait, that's Judy who made a rather unfortunate choice of headgear. Taken with her tight hipster pants, it was an honest mistake. Lily is surprised that Judy's there already. "I wanted to sop up every possible moment together this Thanksgiving," Judy says, but the only thing sopping is the sarcasm in her voice. She levels Lily with a god-help-me stare as Barbara, the mother of all mothers, comes into the kitchen behind her. True to form, immediately after hugging Lily hello, Barbara's off on a kvetch about the thing they called "lunch" on the airplane. Newsflash, Barbara: airplane food always sucks. They didn't do it just to piss you off. Lily asks how Barabara's doing and gets the typical cryptic response, "Oh, you know me."
Which prompts Lily onto the Soliloquy Stool (tm Heathen) to rhyme off a list of antonyms that represent her mother and Peg: oil and water; Nixon and McGovern. After that last one, she catches herself and says, "That's not fair." I suspect it's a political joke, but it's beyond my ignorant Canadian ass. ["Stockwell and Alexa?" -- Wing Chun]
Back in the kitchen, Barbara's rummaging through the bags, looking for the fixins for her roast chestnuts. Lily, of course, didn't remember to buy them because she, along with the rest of the world, exists only to test Barbara's resolve. Barbara stoically forgives Lily, saying that Judy can take her to the market to get the things she needs. Judy looks like she'd rather cram steaming chestnuts up her nose. Lily asks whether it's hard for Barbara to be back there after all that's happened, and again Babs makes with the stoicism, claiming matter-of-factly, "Oh, you know it's hard wherever I am." Changing the subject, Lily mentions that Rick's bringing his mom. Barbara's happy to hear it, relieved that "there'll be someone [her] own age." Judy asks what that means, and Babs tells her to wait and see. On her way out of the kitchen, Barbara pauses with a troubled look: "I hope she's not planning on cooking," she says, referring to Rick's mom. "Battle of the titans," Judy mutters.
Meanwhile, Eli's torturing his guitar in an attempt to serenade his grandmother. She sits on the edge of the bed and taps her feet lightly while awkwardly rocking back and forth. It's not her fault, though -- the music really is impossible to groove to. And then Eli starts "singing" and, I swear, all I want for Christmas is for him to stop and promise he'll never do it again. Not in the shower, even. Never. Oh, and here're the inane lyrics, for anyone who needs a good laugh: "Get off, get out / Can't feel the way that I do / I'm pushin' back at you..." They go on, but frankly, I can't take anymore. Granny is now jerking her arms around in moves that seem inspired by tai chi. When Eli finishes, Peg gets that all-knowing look in her eye again, as if she not only was able to make sense of those lyrics on a superficial level, but she's managed to see a deeper meaning in them. Yeeeah. She could have a crystal ball and work for Dionne Warwick -- there's still no way she knows what the hell Eli's talking about. "Amazing," she lies. "Shut up," Eli blushes. You should heed your own advice, mister. Granny manages to keep a straight face as she asks whether he's gotten any gigs yet. He says not really -- none that pay, anyway. "Oh, what's money, after all?" the geriatric hippie wants to know. Eli is a little more realistic: "A lot. Especially if I'm going to support myself this way." Okay, he was realistic with the first part of the answer. Granny wants to know whether Rick really has a problem with all this. Eli says that Rick thinks he's ruining his life, that he's dreaming. Any arguments? Good, let's continue. "It's a teenager's right to ruin his future," Grandma Corruption proclaims. Okay, I appreciate that she thinks she's supporting Eli, but I really don't like that she's playing the little devil to Rick's little angel on Eli's shoulders. It would be one thing if Eli had a modicum of talent and even a whisper of a prayer to make it professionally. But we all know that's not the case. Peg continues stirring the pot, saying that Rick's forgotten he was ever a teenager. Eli launches a mocking recitation of Rick's teen years, describing him as the ultimate golden boy. Granny, however, has a very different version of history: "Your father and his brother were just this side of delinquents." She recounts how she was on a first-name basis with the principal, and how he almost cried once at the thought of Rick's wasting his potential. Eli is stunned. "How can I use this against him?" he wonders. Granny cackles.
Later, at the dinner table, Eli's stuffing pasta in his face while Rick calls up the stairs to try to convince Jessie to come and eat. For his mother's benefit, Rick ticks off the list of health and environmental advantages tonight's take-out restaurant offers. He then focuses his attention on Eli's latest assignment, a paper on the Spanish-American War. They proceed to get into a bickering match over whether or not Teddy Roosevelt was involved. Again, my ignorant Canadian ass isn't much use in deciding who's right: Eli who claims he wasn't involved, or Rick who insists he was. But really, does anyone care? The gist of the argument, for our purposes, is that Rick doesn't trust Eli's research abilities or the amount of effort he put into the paper, and Eli resents Rick's evident doubt in him. They bicker and snipe while Peg, of course, continues her pattern of watching closely. Grandma's stare then shifts pointedly between the staircase and Jessie's empty chair and untouched food.
A little later, Rick comes down the stairs to find his mother on the phone with his good-for-nothing brother, discussing Rick's baby nephew. His mother passes along the exciting news that the baby smiled, and reminds Rick of the first time he called her about Eli's smile. Yeah, yeah, blah de blah timepassessofastcakes. Peg starts to wheedle. It would be less irritating, perhaps, if it weren't so obvious that she's trying so hard not to be obvious. Rick doesn't bite. Peg's mouth starts running at lightning speed, trying to convince Rick that his brother's really changed, and wasn't that the whole point of their problem? Rick makes up the fold-out bed, warning his mother not to get in the middle of things. She points out that she hasn't said a word in four years. "Your silence has been deafening," Rick assures her. Peg is silent for a minute then wisely changes the topic. She brings up Eli, putting in a good word for him. Rick complains about the change in Eli's attitude, and Granny defends the kid, saying it's "his job at this age" and she's surprised that Eli didn't start with the pissy attitude sooner. Granny takes a time-out from the discussion to flirt a little with her son over how big he is. Tickly knee-grabbing and squawking ensues. The Granny grows somber, looking in the direction of the stairs. "D-d-do you think Jessie's lost weight recently?" she asks haltingly. Unconcerned, Rick says that Jessie's just having "an unbelievable growth spurt" and wonders why Peg would ask. She informs him that "young girls have it so tough these days, with eating issues." Rick pshaws the notion that Jessie could have a problem. Granny unconvincingly acts like she's convinced, which prompts Rick to throw out the veiled accusation, "Did you come here for Thanksgiving, or to put into practice all the things you've learned at your workshops?" Peg claims, "That's not fair." With half an eye-roll, Rick relents and perfunctorily says that he's glad she came. Sighing mightily, Rick lies back, pulls the covers over himself, and says wearily, "I happen to be dealing with a lot of things right now." It's clear he doesn't care to deal with any more. Peg gives him a peck on the forehead and turns out the light. As she reaches the doorway, Rick says, "We're going to have a nice, dysfunctional Thanksgiving, just like all good Americans." He rolls over, turning his back to the camera and the doorway. A half-second later, he glances over his shoulder to where his mother was standing. She did get to him, after all.
We return from commercials to find Rick and the gang at Lily's door. I've got a feeling that chaos is about to erupt, so if I miss something or mishear something, go easy on me. Okay, deep breath. I'm ready. Introductions all around, voices over voices, and hands outstretched for shaking. Rick makes a lame Thanksgiving-as-football analogy, which clearly goes over Barbara's head, as she shrugs and grimaces at Zoe. Peg laughs like it's the funniest thing she's heard in days. Actually, it probably is, which is just sad.
Cut to Lily's loudly patterned sleeves pulling the turkey out of the oven as Barbara and Peg enter the kitchen. Barbara comments on how large turkeys have gotten over the years, which triggers Peg's hormone speech. All right, already. Organic is the way to go. We get it. God, does she have stocks in some organic turkey farm or what? ["Funny, because the last straw that made Glark turn vegetarian was the salmonella he got when he was served organic chicken by that same 'former boss' and 'self-proclaimed New Ager' Niki mentioned above." -- Wing Chun] Grace, reading a novel at the kitchen table, glances up briefly and looks vaguely amused by the turkey talk. Lily asks Peg for her turkey roasting secrets, to which Peg chuckles heartily and responds that she hasn't cooked one in twenty-five years, so she can't remember. Barbara stares at her with a mix of pity and shock, smiles brightly, and says that Peg can cook the sweet potatoes then, since Lily says that Babs always overcooks them. Peg's no fool, though, and sidesteps this obvious effort to corral her into kitchen duty by saying that, instead of doing the sweet potatoes, she'd like to get to know Grace a little better. She notices that Grace is reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles, and Grace informs her that it's required reading. "They want to warn you about being reckless with your sexual favors," Peg informs her with mock prudishness. Babs casts a disapproving eye in Peg's direction. Laughingly, Grace asks why they never have to read about women who were wild and got away with it. Peg recommends that Grace check out Katie Roiphe, and promises to send her Last Night in Paradise. Babs casts a suspicious eye while stirring the gravy. Sex talk on Thanksgiving -- it's outrageous! But seriously, I can see why Barbara would take issue at this virtual stranger talking about loose women with her granddaughter. And many of you, I know, take issue with Peg suggesting that Grace check out Roiphe, a writer who suggests that date rape is a myth. I've never read her but might now, out of curiosity. And I'll sign it out from the library so that only a few pennies make their way to Roiphe's pockets. Anyway, where the hell was I?
Oh yeah, the kitchen. So Jake comes bursting through the back door, putting an end to all the inappropriate talk. He's carrying two enormous aluminum take-out trays containing the restaurant's "famous corn salad and Barbara's personal favorite: creamed spinach." Barbara's eyes grow wide as she "oooh's" over the offerings. Rick hears the fuss from the dining room, glances over, and then chooses to ignore Jake. Interesting -- it's the first time he's done that. Zoe wants to know whether Jake will be joining them, but he informs her that he will be serving dinner to two hundred and fifty people that night. Barbara is suitably impressed and gives him a big congratulatory hug. Peg, in the background, watches the exchange closely. Lily then introduces Peg to Jake, and she compliments him on his kids. Jake's gotta go, and he blows out of the kitchen with a "Happy Thanksgiving!" and a promise to talk to Barbara before she goes.
A little later, we follow Lily to the living room, where Rick, Zoe, Jessie, and Eli are slumped on the couch, slaves to the football god. Lily offers refreshments but basically gets rebuffed by everyone except Zoe. Zoe wants Jessie to unravel the mystery that is football, and Jessie seems happy to oblige. The sporting lesson is interrupted by the arrival of Judy, with Aaron in tow. Zoe runs excitedly to greet Aaron, who flinches, while Rick and his kids sit uncomfortably on the couch. He explains who Aaron is, and then gets up to greet him. Rick asks how the ride was, and Aaron responds that they had a very nice ride: "The leaves are off the trees, and it's very evocative." He goes on to mention that Judy has a blue Corvair, which he totally loves, and "speaking of evocative...heh." Eli and Jessie wander out from the living room, and Judy introduces them. Aaron retreats into his shell a little.
Meanwhile, in the dining room, Lily's busy setting the table while Zoe shows Jessie and Peg some family pictures. Why isn't anyone helping Lily, is what I want to know. It's really bothering me. Jessie mentions that she hasn't seen pictures of Rick when he was little, and Peg fortunately has some. Rick walks in just as Lily joins the gushing throng, and there is much gasping and shrilling over how cute little Rickie was. Whatever. He looks like a regular gawky ten-year-old to me. Anyway, Peg starts regaling them with tales of his youth, and Rick, embarrassed by the fuss, starts to leave. Peg mentions that Rick's father made him draw up the plans for his boyhood fort, and Grace asks the departing Rick whether that was when he decided to become an architect. Notice that? Grace was being polite. Focus shifts to adorable little Mikey, and Rick stands in the doorway, listening. Jessie wants to know when they last saw their uncle Mike, and Peg shoots Rick a look. Jessie remembers that Mike was "so funny" and wants to know why he doesn't visit anymore. Rick answers lamely, "He's very busy." Peg looks sad. Babs brings her bustle to the dining room, relegating jobs to the stand-arounds. Well, at least she's helping Lily. She mentions to Rick that they'll need "the big strong men to start bringing in the chairs," and a second later, we see Aaron in the background quietly carrying one in. Pluck goes my heartstring. Rick carries in the last of the chairs, putting it at the head of the table. Barbara tells him he'll be sitting there. He starts to protest, but Lily waves it off, telling him to "sit, sit." Aaron, standing to Rick's right, looks at the chair and softly says, "Dad," while making a gesture toward it. Judy gets Aaron to sit, but he mutters again, "Daddy's chair." Rick, I'm guessing, is feeling a little uncomfortable. Babs brings in the bird, staggering slightly under its weight. Requisite oohing and aaahing as she sets it before Rick. Lily, standing behind Judy and Aaron says, "I just need to say how much Dad is in our hearts, and how much I miss him," and Judy adds, "And how happy he would be to see everyone here today." Babs walks past, patting Lily on the shoulder and saying, "Thank you, Lily." Because Judy isn't as pretty as Lily, and therefore doesn't deserve attention. She knows it, too. You can see it in the look on her face. To a round of applause, Rick stands and asks whether he should do the honors. Aaron looks confused as he claps hesitantly. He knows that carving is his father's job. Rick makes the first cut and slips, shredding the meat a little. He looks like it's a big deal, somehow.
Then Rick hops on the Soliloquy Stool (tm Heathen) to clear things up for us. He remembers how his father kept the carving knife "perfectly sharp," and that when he cut the turkey, the pieces came off "exactly the same thickness as all the others." Anyone else getting the feeling that Rick still has some issues with his father?
Meanwhile, Rick is still jabbing and hacking away at the poor turkey, and he's got this dazed zombie face while he's doing it. Actually, maybe he's holding in tears. Dude, it's turkey. Let it go.
Back on the Stool, Rick continues, "You weren't allowed to speak while he was carving. Not that that was very much different from the rest of the dinner." Can I just say that Rick's dad sounds like a dick?
Rick's mom proudly watches him lay a slice of turkey on a plate. She seems to think he did a fine job carving. Aaron watches Rick intently. Rick catches him, and the two share a small smile. Rick takes a gulp of wine.
"And my mother's job was to keep it all going, no matter what insincere inanity she had to come up with," Rick continues from the Stool. "She was always up, always perky. God forbid there was a moment of silence." We see Peg clinking glasses with Jessie and Grace and toasting, "Happy days, happy days" in this insanely cheerful, chirpy voice. She extends an invitation for Babs to come and visit. Judy passes Aaron his plate with a big piece of white meat. Aaron's wrinkled nose indicates that he is a dark-meat man. Grace spots his displeasure and races over with the turkey platter to rectify the situation. With his fingers, Aaron picks up the piece from his plate, and swaps it for another from the platter. He and Grace giggle, while Babs, aghast, works at trapping flies. Rick empties the wine bottle into his glass. He looks drugged. Montage of chit-chat around the table: Babs smiles widely; Zoe yaks Eli's ear off while he rests his forehead on his folded hands; Lily and Peg share a laugh; Rick gulps his wine; Eli and Grace share a commiserating look regarding Zoe's chatter; Jessie glares at Zoe; Peg smiles; Lily dumps more stuffing or something onto Jessie's plate despite her protests; Rick stares vacantly. He really looks like he should be in a NyQuil commercial or something. Anyway, we get a close-up of Jessie's fork moving around the food on her plate but not actually lifting it to her mouth. Rick watches. Zoe catches him and looks guilty. Rick lifts his empty glass and tips the empty bottle right over it, looking disappointed that it's all gone.
He then hops on the Stool to explain: "I don't know why I get so sad at holidays. There's no reason for it. I have more to be thankful for than almost...anybody. And I can admit that almost any day of the year, except Thanksgiving."
Back at the table, it seems Barbara's been trying to snag Rick's attention, to no avail. The table falls silent as everyone looks at him, and Rick finally clues in. Judy gives him a friendly smile then grabs the bowl of potatoes in front of him and passes it down to Babs. Lily's a little peeved: "It's okay, you can go to bed soon," she informs him. He assures her that he's okay and that the food is delicious. She looks away, unimpressed. Eli scooches up to Rick to ask if he can leave to practice. "Now?" Rick asks, annoyed. Eli says that he was actually supposed to be there half an hour ago. Rick is adamant that Eli won't leave: it's not his house, they're about to have dessert, and it would be rude. Peg watches the entire exchange over the rim of her wine glass. Her expression never changes, but her eyes speak volumes: she's disappointed in the way she sees Rick handling the kids. Lily's eyes also shift between Rick and Eli, and she looks uneasy. Rick finally snaps, "E. Just drop it!" Everyone at the table stops and stares. Mortified, Eli walks away. Lily shoots Rick a disgusted look, then turns to share a look with Peg. Rick may as well have stood and pissed all over the table.
The shot we get is of the Sammlers filing out the door, getting good-bye squeezes from Lily. When it's Rick's turn, he starts to say, "It was..." "Yeah right," Lily interrupts then orders him to go home and get some sleep. Eli follows Rick. Lily gives him a sympathetic glance, pats his arm, and says goodnight. He looks grateful and thanks her. When Lily closes the door on all that bad energy, she looks troubled, shaking her head and rolling her eyes a little. Like the rest of us, I don't think she thought Rick had that brooding anger in him. She walks back toward the dinning room, passing Aaron who's blissfully passed out on the bench in the foyer. I hope we get to see more of him.
Meanwhile, at the Sammler place, Rick and his mom are getting ready to turn in. As Rick closes Jessie's door, she mentions, "Grace was nice to me...by the way." Rick thinks "that's nice." Eli storms to his room, ignoring Rick and his "goodnight." Peg says that Lily's family is "lovely" and that Lily is "quite a woman." She hopes to see more of her. Then she goes where she shouldn't: "I don't think Eli's trying to turn everything into a pissing match." Rick tells her she has no idea. He claims that he and Eli have a great relationship, and Peg assures him that she's not trying to attack him. Rick demands to know, point-blank, what she's trying to say. "Eli loves you, and he wants to know that you love him," she says. Bristling, Rick says that Eli does know. "Of course he does," she condescends. Rick is growing increasingly impatient with this little dance Peg's doing. He snaps, "So what am I supposed to do? What -- let him slide by in school, do whatever he wants just to show him how much I love him?" Peg laughs it off and suggests lightly that Rick just "talk to him, see him, find out what he's going through." Squeezing the bridge of his nose, Rick snaps that he does. Peg corrects, "You talk at him." "And you know this after two days," Rick says. "I knew it after two minutes. You checked out. I know what that looks like." Without looking at her, Rick wags his finger and tells her not to "do this." Peg rhymes off everything Rick's doing wrong in his various relationships. He steps closer, his voice growing quietly angry, telling her she doesn't even know him anymore, so she shouldn't be telling him how to live his life. Peg echoes Karen, telling Rick that he looks at everything but his problems -- he'd just rather ignore them. Rick says he deals with problems every day. "The only problem is you," Peg blurts, immediately looking like, "whoops, did I say that out loud?" Rick is stunned. She's sorry. Rick staggers away. "I just want to be close to you," she pleads. Okay, well I think you've learned how not to do it. Speaking of talking at people...Sadness, shadows, and closed doors as we head to commercial.
The morning, Eli's reading (?!) the paper while Jessie watches him. She asks whether he's still mad and when it's clear that he is, she points out, "No one else got to leave either." They bicker a little longer before Rick enters, asking who wants turkey. "Ha. Ha," Jessie says. Rick rhymes off a list of turkey possibilities including turkey cereal and turkey toast. If Jessie didn't have a problem with eating before, she surely does now. Peg comes in, apparently from a healthy, well-adjusted run, and wants to know Lily's number. She assures Rick that she just wants to thank Lily for dinner and he passes on the number. He takes a stab at addressing Jessie's eating issues by asking if that's all she's having for breakfast; he's so hungry after Thanksgiving dinner, "it makes no sense." He gets a sullen reaction. Rick then turns his attention to Eli, asking about his plans for the day. Eli says he's got a bunch of stuff to do. Rick asks if that means homework. Exasperated, Eli snaps that it's Friday; he's got all weekend to do his homework. "Nobody said you had to work today," Rick responds, icily. Whoo-ee. You could cut the tension in that room with a big ol' carving knife. Unless you're Rick, in which case you'd just shred it and then feel inadequate. Rick looks so sad and tired. Defeated, he mutters, "Fine," and walks away wearily. Jessie looks bummed. She looks at Eli. Eli looks bummed.
Cut to the up escalator at my nemesis -- a mall crowded with holiday shoppers. I'm getting hives just watching this scene. I hope it's a short one. Ah, it's an inter-familial Christmas expedition. Peg, Jessie, Zoe, Rick, and Lily are together. Peg takes the girls to the record store, giving us some time alone with Rick and Lily. They chat, but it's a little restrained. Rick wonders if Lily's okay. She says she's exhausted. Rick says Thanksgiving was nice. "Was it?" she asks dryly. He doesn't get her attitude and assures her that it was "wonderful." Well anything's wonderful after a bottle of wine, isn't it? Rick wants to know what's going on. "You tell me," Lily snaps. She says she doesn't know what's happening -- she's never been with him on a holiday before. They pause at a railing overlooking the floor below so that they can focus all their attention on bickering without having to walk at the same time. Lily accuses Rick of being "totally out of it" and "in another world" at dinner. She says he should tell her if he was upset. Rick opts to deny deny deny his feelings by lashing out. I'm having ex-boyfriend flashbacks. He snaps, "What? I didn't tell enough jokes for you?" He accuses her of having some expectation of what he was supposed to be like. She claims she only expected him to be himself. Rick claims, "This is getting weird. You're judging me!" Lily insists that she's not judging him. I believe her. I feel for Lily at this point. It's one of the few times we've seen her actively interested in discussing Rick's problems, and she's getting shot down hard. Rick's lashing of her continues: "I don't believe this! I'm in a strange house --" "You're not in a strange house!" Lily interjects. "And you expect me to perform for these people [uh, that would be her family, dude -- watch it]; you want me to be the host...You want me to be your father!" Oh, that's a low blow. Lily, shocked, turns away. Rick kicks off his pity party, claiming that he "was dealing with [his] mother, [her] mother, [their] children" and he just wanted everyone to have a good time. Lily claims she wanted the same thing. Not to mention that she was dealing with all the same stuff plus cooking, cleaning, setting the table, and a host of other crap. Just then, Jessie comes flying up with Zoe wanting to know how much money she can spend. Rick stammers for a few seconds then says that Jessie can spend whatever her grandmother sees fit. Watching him, Lily's face softens a little, but things are still far from resolved.
Later that night, we're in Rick's apartment as Eli wheels in his bike. Rick is cooking dinner, a feat that seems to be fairly rare. He and Eli make some small talk, and they manage to keep it pleasant even after Eli says he may not be eating with them because he might be going out with his friends. We then see Rick pop his head into Jessie's room, where she's crashed out on the bed listening to Nine Inch Nails on her walkman. He tells her that dinner's almost ready. She says okay and rolls over. Rick hangs back a second, touches her shoulder, then asks if she isn't hungry. She says she doesn't know. He points out that she hasn't been hungry very much lately, and she argues that she's hungry "all the time." Rick parks it on her bed, and Jessie carefully keeps her back to him. He softly mentions that he gets the feeling she hasn't been eating lately. She turns her face even farther away from him, looking upset. He suggests that sometimes people don't eat when they're upset. She quickly protests that she's not upset. Rick stammers around the awkward question of whether Jessie's "trying to lose weight, or something." Facing him now, she says she's not; she doesn't even really think about her weight. Rick's holding back tears, and tries to let her know that all the pressure people put on girls is a bad thing. She interrupts him to ask if she can just listen to her walkman. She has tears in her eyes, too. Rick makes for the door then decides to take one more stab at it. He starts to bring up the discussion again, but Jessie spins around with full-on tears in her eyes and snaps, "Huh?" End of discussion. We see Jessie fighting to swallow back her tears.
When dinner is finished, Jessie tells Rick that it was really good, and Eli seconds the motion. Rick quietly says that Eli should stick around more often. The phone rings and the kids run off to fight over answering it. Rick calls after them that he told them to clear the table. Stepping up to do it himself, he notices that Jessie's food is basically untouched. Peg notices, too, and tells Rick that it's very common. "Whatever," he says. He starts clearing the table, and she follows him to the kitchen. She explains that "it's easy for her now" to see all the mistakes being made -- she just couldn't see it when she was the one making them. Rick tries to head off the conversation, but Peg won't have it. She reminds him that his father was all closed off, too, and tells Rick that everyone can see what's going on inside him. He begs her again to stop. She warns him that if he doesn't "come out of that shell, no one will benefit." Rick shakes his head stubbornly while she talks then cuts her off. She still won't stop. She tells him that she has "to tell the truth." "No, you have to tell your truth," Rick snaps. He tells her he doesn't want everything he does and says to be analyzed by her and held up to her own ideals for measurement. She tells him that she knows it hurts. "No, it pisses me off, Mom!" Rick shouts. He defends his father and says that he's sorry if Pops made Peg sad, but that he is fine. He says he can't help it if he doesn't measure up to Peg's ideas of what he should be. She assures him that he's a "wonderful man," and he's afraid to let out his feelings because some of them aren't "pretty" or "nice" and he's worried about the way people will react to them. She tells him that his kids need him, just as he needed his father, and begs him not to hide from them. Rick has nothing to say. He moves away from her to the sink. Peg looks sad.
time we see Rick, he's running maniacally and covered in sweat. I'm assuming he was looking for some kind of release. When he returns home, he wakes up Jessie who's asleep on the couch to give her a big hug and carry her up to bed. Suddenly, he's moving away in slo mo, and we're left staring at an empty room.