Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Booklovers
By Niki | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.30.2000
Lily points out to Judy that she only said he was cute. "So you have sex with him," Judy says, still feeling shirty. She catches herself and apologizes. She starts to imply that her mood is being caused by all the tension from the book club launch, but then she shifts gears and starts going on about her teeth again, grimacing and swishing her tongue around for emphasis. Lily's about as interested in Judy's mouth as Karen was and suggests half-assedly that maybe Judy has a cavity or something. Judy insists that's not the problem, wriggles her tongue around a few more times, then snaps herself back to reality, telling Lily she doesn't want to pressure her, but...Lily stops her with a look and says she'll call her -- after she's spoken to Crusty. But will the phones still work after hell freezes over? Judy has no idea Lily's full of crap (and to be fair, I'm not sure Lily's consciously lying at this point) and looks relieved. Will reappears and waves a silent goodbye to Lily. He watches Judy head into the back room, wipes his hands on his t-shirt, and pulls out the design books Judy showed him earlier.
Later, at Pages Alive, Lily's just entering Crusty's office. Crusty orders her to shut the door, fast! Note to Crusty (and I could punch myself for pointing this out, but...) those jeans do nothing for you. Nothing! Unless you want to carry something on your ass, that is. So what's all the commotion? Crusty shows Lily The Ad -- man Judy got a lot of mileage from that thing -- and asks if Lily thinks she should go. Serendipity! Lily gapes at her open-mouthed as she struggles for a response. "You've lost all respect for me?" Crusty asks. (No. The Cindy Brady pigtails took care of that a long time ago. Oh wait, she wasn't asking me.) Lily assures her that's not the case. Crusty explains that her friend from the gym is going, and "it could be pretty cheesy, but, you know, you'd be in a bookstore..." Lily explains that her surprise stems from the fact that it's her sister's bookstore. An entirely too long meant-to-be-confusing-but-Lily's-the-only-one-who's-confused-because-she-thinks-anyone-cares explanation of the bookstore's name ensues, while Crusty looks at her blankly. When Lily finally explains that Judy just changed the name to Booklovers, Crusty unwittingly turns the knife: "Oh, well thank god -- it's a much better name." Crusty wonders if she should join the singles' club. Rather than encouraging her and explaining that Crusty's presence would be a big boon for Judy, Lily chooses to take the low road, saying, "The thing is, she just started it..." and implying that Judy has no idea what she's doing. Crusty, in the meantime, flops facedown on her couch and interrupts Lily to inform her that she's "desperate!" In fact, she's so desperate that she's constructed this "whole fantasy" about David. Yeah, that qualifies. No, in fact, I think that should be the new definition. In all fairness to Crusty, she hasn't actually met David, so she has no idea of the horror of which she speaks or the nightmares she's just inspired. She makes a silly-little-girl face and curls up in a ball, trying to hide her embarrassment. Lily starts to hem and haw about David, but Crusty quickly interrupts her to say she doesn't want Lily to fix them up -- "because it's always a nightmare." You have no idea, Crusty. No idea. Crusty realizes how odd it is for her to be confiding in Lily, then convinces me she has absolutely no grip -- not even a tenuous one -- on reality by saying it must be because Lily's "so unjudgmental." (Just checking, but isn't she supposed to be an Editor-in-Chief? Don't they have a dictionary somewhere among all the Nerf toys and cappuccino machines in that office?) Anyway, I snorted so loudly at Crusty's evaluation of Lily that both my boyfriend and cat jumped and looked at me like I'd suddenly gone crazy. Hey, I'm not the one who thinks Lily is nonjudgmental. Crusty gives Lily a little hug, telling her she feels like she could say anything, and Lily stiffly says, "Good." Getting back to the matter at hand, Crusty asks whether Lily would ever do the Booklovers thing. Lily spews and stutters, not saying much of anything, but still managing to convey her doubts bout the whole enterprise. Crusty slumps down and puts her chin sadly on her hand. Lily says she feels terrible, but Crusty says not to, "you know, you hear about something, and you think it's the answer, and well, it never is." Lily tells her she'll probably have fun. "But will I find what I'm looking for?" Crusty wonders. "Well, what are you looking for?" Lily asks. "David," Crusty deadpans. Lily's face drops instantaneously. Crusty informs her that she's only kidding, and that Lily has absolutely no sense of humor. Okay, so Crusty's beginning to regain her grip on reality.
We return from commercials to find a woman fingering the Polaroids on the board. It's Judy's friend from the other night. I thought her picture was the first one up there? Judy asks if she's all set, then positions the woman. "Hey," Judy says, and we see Will through the Polaroid's viewfinder. Yeah, baby, yeah. Work it. But he doesn't. And then he's gone. The woman explains to Judy what she wants this picture to capture: that she's not trying. Will notices a few discarded Polaroids on the coffee bar and, grabbing one, asks what's wrong with it. The woman says it makes her look too serious. Judy points out that her recommended book is about a suicide hotline. The woman insists that it's not depressing, and Will interrupts to ask what's wrong with being serious. They look at him but don't answer because if he hasn't read The Rules he won't understand, anyway. Judy tells the woman to pick another book -- one that made her laugh. The woman flashes her pearly whites and Judy snaps. She spins the Polaroid in Will's direction, but he just looks at her, unsmiling and unimpressed, before walking away. Judy slowly lowers the camera and watches him go. The woman is in raptures over her latest picture, but Judy is distracted, and follows Will outside. She asks him if there's a problem. Will says he "just doesn't get it. [He] doesn't understand how it works." He starts to explain he's confused that Judy told her friend to choose a different book, but she cuts him off, surprised that that's what's bothering him. He says "it's not bothering [him], it just seems kind of pointless." Judy starts to downplay what she did then changes tacks to say suppose it was her and her book. Her favorite is Franny and Zooey, but she'd never admit that on her card, because people would associate her with the adolescent protagonist who thinks she's having a nervous breakdown. "There's no connection between you and that character?" Will asks. Judy says there is, obviously. "Then that should be your book." Judy continues trying to explain why she wouldn't suggest it as her book, but Will is too busy channeling Marilyn from Northern Exposure to see her point. Judy says it's kind of hard for her to explain if he hasn't...she catches herself. "If I haven't read the book," Will supplies. "No, I meant..." Judy struggles for something to say but fails, so she goes on the defensive, saying, "Look, I'm sorry if you think it's pointless; obviously, I don't agree." She turns on her heel and heads back inside. "How come you're not up on that wall in there?" Will asks. Judy pauses mid-exit to level him with a glare. "Now who's assuming things?" she asks. He says he isn't. She says he's assuming that she's not with anyone. "Well, are you?" he asks. "No." She blows out of there, and Will resumes fiddling with whatever tool he'd been fiddling with for most of the scene.
Jake enters the store as Judy's friend is leaving. Judy finds him touching the pictures on the board in an offhand way. "Just admiring the...it's a smart move," Jake says, pointing to the board. "This isn't a waste of money." Smooth as ever. Judy wants to know who said it was a waste of money. "Whu, no -- nobody," Jake stammers. Will comes barreling through the store and distracts Judy. Jake asks who that was. "Will Gluck," Judy replies. "Oh, so that's Will Gluck!" "You know Will Gluck?" Jake sys he doesn't and then asks whether Gluck means happiness in German or something. "I doubt it," Judy says glumly. "I'll have my bartender drop by tomorrow with the wine...and...cheese," Jake says, fixing his attention on the board again. "I have no idea what the alley is going to look like," Judy complains. The two continue their separate conversations, muttering away, until Jake says, "I wonder what book I'd recommend." This gets Judy's attention. She points out that he's seeing the girl she met the other night. This gives Jake pause, but only for a second. "Ann Rule. Ann Rule," he says. "You ever read The Stranger Beside Me?" he asks. He elaborates: "It's a true-crime, like In Cold Blood. Now there's a book I could read again." Say, isn't that the book that Rick picked? What could it mean? Especially considering they're both involved with Lily...Judy doesn't really react to his book talk, so Jake relents and says, "Tiffany's great. I'm just, uh...I'm not sure she's what I'm looking for."