It's nighttime when the show begins. There's a series of images seen through a hazy film, and the whole sequence has the feeling of a dream. The cuts are rapid, but the movements they show are slowed down, as if everyone is underwater. We see a torn picture of Jessie, drawn by a child. Rick's car pulls up along the curb. His hand turns the keys to cut the engine. Through the window, we see Lily hold a cranberry sweater to her face and breathe in deeply, as though she's in a Fleecy commercial. Zoe's in the foyer, watching earnestly as Rick pulls open the back door of his vintage SUV. Jessie climbs out, looking like she's about to walk the Green Mile. Hands slide the torn picture back together. Rick and his kids walk toward the door, with the kids hanging back a little. Eli takes Jessie's hand. Lily comes down the stairs and joins Zoe by the door. Grace comes down and hands the repaired picture to Zoe. Rick's finger presses the doorbell.
Suddenly, Rick's voice jars us out of this dreamlike sequence. He's sitting at his desk talking on the phone. The screen tells us it's "Twenty hours earlier..."
Rick's talking to Lily, complaining that "he's all over every damn decision I make." Three guesses who he's talking about. We see Lily on her cordless phone, standing in her walk-in closet (of course she has a walk-in closet). She's advising Rick how to deal with Miles -- like she's an old pro at handling clients. As she's dispensing her advice, Rick gets an incoming mail message on his computer and groans. Lily, ever the stern disciplinarian, demands, "Richard Sammler, are you checking your email?" Rick smartly denies the accusation, pushing his chair away from his computer like he's afraid she can see him as he says, "No, no, no. I'm talking to you." He knows better than to give Lily less than his full attention. She, meanwhile, starts complaining that she has "nothing to wear to work." I know we've all felt that way sometimes, but really, she's standing in a walk-in closet that has double racks hanging on three walls, and they're all crammed with clothes. I'm having a crippling bout of closet envy, seeing as I live in a loft with exactly NO closets. I'm not feeling a lot of sympathy here. Lily continues her oh-so-important rambling, telling Rick that Zoe's still obsessed with global warming, and he replies that she should be thankful -- Eli works his girlfriend, Cassidy's, name into every conversation. Lily pulls a cranberry cardigan from a shelf in her closet and puts it up to her face, breathing in its scent. She tells Rick she just found a sweater that belonged to her father. She moves into the bathroom to try it on in front of the mirror. She then blurts that "the kids should meet each other soon. Tomorrow." "What?" Rick says, and proceeds to hedge and say that maybe in the summer... Lily sniffs the sweater's cuff and cuts him off, saying, "Let's do this. People put things off, and they shouldn't."
A little later, Lily's in the kitchen, wearing her dad's cardigan. Since Phil was a portly guy, the sweater's pretty big on her. Zoe and Grace are getting breakfast, and Lily broaches the subject of dinner with Rick and his kids. A series of quick clips between her kitchen and Rick's follows. They're edited so that Rick and Lily finish one another's sentences as they pitch the idea to their respective broods. When it's all wrapped up, Eli tells Rick he doesn't know if he can go -- "Cassidy may have plans." Rick asks Jessie what she thinks and she says she has "to check with Cassidy. She may have plans." Rick tosses a paper towel at her head.
Back at Lily's place, Zoe dashes out of the kitchen to grab her rainhat, even though it's not raining. Seems she's worried about that hole in the ozone layer. Grace asks Lily if she can borrow her sweater, and starts pulling it off her while Lily weakly protests that it belonged to Phil. She asks Grace why she wants it and Grace tells her "to hide [her] butt, why does Lily think?" Lily asks if Grace is okay about meeting Rick's kids, and anxiously adds that it won't be a big deal. Grace impatiently tells her that she's "so over-explaining this" and swings out the back door.
Cut to the street in front of the high school, where Rick's dropping off Eli while talking to Miles on his cell phone. Lily pulls up behind his truck and pops out to say hi to him. Zoe spots Eli getting out of the truck and points him out to Grace. Grace acts like it's no big deal, and Zoe says she thought Grace liked him. Grace gets all defensive and shuts Zoe up by saying "You know, you could have skin cancer and not even know it." Zoe gapes and touches her face as the horror of the possibility grips her.
Meanwhile, Lily's so chipper I could slap her. No one should be happy in the morning. She gives Eli a big smiley hello and then taps on Rick's window. He's still tangling with Miles, trying to get him off the phone, so he can't talk to her. She waves at him like a goon and then taps on the glass to wave at Jessie in the back seat. What the hell is she on? Rick gestures through the window again that he can't talk to her. She was so busy grinning and waving that she apparently didn't notice it the first time he pointed at his phone, mouthed, "I can't talk," and rolled his eyes.
Standing on the curb, Eli spots his ex-girlfriend Jennifer getting dropped off, and their eyes meet for a second. He breaks the contact by turning and moving away. He sees Grace and seems really excited to chat with her, I suspect because he wants to avoid being cornered by Jennifer. Jessie intently watches Eli and Grace from the backseat.
B/W Jessie says, "It's fine. I'll eat dinner with anyone. Except, sometimes, I'm not that hungry for dinner."
B/W Eli says "I sort of already know one of them. Kind of. So..."
B/W Grace then gives us her opinion: "I don't care. We can all have dinner together. I just don't know what we're all going to talk about." I notice that she's sporting a very fine lady's poly shirt, circa nineteen-seventy-four. Which I can appreciate, since my boyfriend deals in vintage clothing and I spend way too much time helping him.
Anyway, when we cut back to reality, Grace is grasping for conversation with Eli and asks him how English is going. He says it's not going "too good." If I were one of those anal English-major types, I'd point out that it's not surprising English doesn't seem to be going too well. But since I'm not, I won't. Over Grace's shoulder, Eli spots Cassidy in all her belly-baring glory and, helpless to resist all that exposed midriff, mutters a perfunctory "see ya" and floats on over to the Cassidy posse. I'd like to point out that Cassidy and her little herd are all wearing the same thing -- belly shirts with long-sleeved T's tied around their jeans. Their uniformity disturbs me. Clearly, they are not to be trusted.
Cut to Zoe, who's spotted Jessie in the truck ahead of her. She's watching Jessie watching Grace, and this whole storyline is turning into a colossal pain-in-the ass to recount. Grace takes off the cardigan and ties it around her waist. Trust me, this will matter later.
B/W Zoe says that she'd like to be in a family like Little Women, in which there's a choice of sisters. That way, she wouldn't be stuck with just one.
Lily hops back in the Explorer and Zoe asks her about Jessie. Lily starts to tell her a few things -- she mentions tae kwon do in particular -- but then she spots someone and hops back out of the truck. How does she ever make it to work on time? She's shouting "Naomi!" while jogging across the street and nearly getting splattered by a car. She catches up to Naomi, who's with another woman named Arlene. Naomi seems guarded with Lily. Lily notices a book in Naomi's arms, and grabs at it to see the title. The other woman holds up her own copy and tells Lily it's Saint Maybe. Lily's surprised that they're both reading the same book, until Arlene explains that it's for their reading group. Lily's face drops for a second, but she manages a weak "that's great." Arlene takes her leave, wishing Naomi a happy birthday as she goes. D'oh! Lily starts groveling, realizing that she forgot her friend's birthday. I'm having déja vu, here. Anyone remember when Naomi showed up at Lily's house for dinner, and Lily forgot that she'd invited her? Self-absorbed much? Naomi explains that she didn't tell Lily about the reading group because she thought it was the last thing Lily needed at the moment. I can tell she's lying to cover her ass, and she just didn't want to invite Lily, and I don't even need my patented cynic-vision to do so. I just happen to have my head out of my ass, unlike a certain self-absorbed soon-to-be-divorcee I could mention. So needless to say, Lily doesn't pick up on Naomi's "you suck" vibe, and suggests that they get together to celebrate Naomi's birthday. Naomi says she promised her kids they'd celebrate together, just as a family thing. She starts to say something else when Lily butts in to say, "What am I thinking? I can't get together -- I have plans with Rick." Somehow, Naomi finds enough restraint not to roll her eyes, but she does look as though Lily just pissed on her shoes. Lily rambles on saying she's all nervous and Naomi says that maybe they "shouldn't do... it... then." Her suggestion fizzles as she realizes Lily's not even listening to her -- she's just noticed that Rick is off his phone and says she's "gotta go grab him" as she dashes off. She tosses a "happy birthday" over her shoulder. Naomi says, "See ya." But you can tell she's not excited by the prospect.
By the time Lily reaches Rick, he's back on the phone again. She gestures at him to call her later and he nods. She hops in her truck and pulls it alongside his. Still on her neurotic goon kick, she waves at him AGAIN and gestures AGAIN for him to call her. Rick gives her an exaggerated okay sign while mouthing "okay" big and slow, so she'll figure out that he's got it already. Meanwhile, Jessie's learning what it must feel like to be one of those lobsters in the tanks at seafood restaurants, as Zoe unabashedly stares at her. She knows who her new best friend will be. As Lily starts to pull away, Zoe says "So mom --" but she's cut off by Jessie saying, "We're having dinner with them?" to Rick. Rick and Lily smile at their respective offspring in their respective rearview mirrors. Zoe smiles excitedly while Jessie hangs her head.
After commercials, we return to find that Miles is still at Rick's office going over the plans. Which means, of course, that he's asking a lot of annoying questions that are meant to undermine Rick's authority and challenge his ability as an architect. At one point, he asks, "Why is this door here?" David, hovering around the edges of the meeting, says pointedly, "So people can leave." Miles ignores David, and asks whether the curved wall is an unconscious tribute to an architect who died recently, whose credo was "straight lines are the work of the devil." Apparently, the writers of this episode subscribe to the same belief. As Rick indulges Miles' musings, David gets more and more angry. He leaves the room, shooting Rick a look of contempt as he goes. Miles looks at his watch and asks if they should work through lunch. "Attaboy," he says when Rick unhappily agrees.
Cut to a high school hallway, where Grace is rummaging around in her locker. She's startled by a loud clang as someone pushes her locker door against the ones behind it. It's Eli's ex, Jennifer. While Grace recovers from her minor heart attack, Jennifer tells her she's really worried about Eli. She pulls Grace away from the baleful stares of Cassidy's cronies, who are standing a little way down the hall. Jennifer tells Grace that Cassidy is sleeping with someone else behind Eli's back. Grace pulls her arm free of Jennifer's grasp, and says she has to close her locker. She clearly doesn't want to get involved, but Jennifer's not letting her off the hook that easily. She reminds Grace that she knows what "these people" are like -- she used to be friends with them before Eli picked Cassidy over her. Grace asks why Jennifer doesn't just tell Eli herself. Duh! She's his ex-girlfriend, whom he dumped -- she doesn't exactly have credibility when it comes to slagging his new girlfriend. Jennifer tells Grace that Eli's not as confident as he acts, and that she doesn't "know what he'll do" if other people find out Cassidy's cheating before he does. Oooh, ominous...
Cut to Naomi and Karen, eating take-out with chopsticks in Karen's office. Naomi's recounting her encounter with Lily, and it comes out that she didn't invite Lily to join the reading group because she asked Karen instead. Naomi complains that Lily never listens to her and that she's totally caught up in her own world. She bitches that Lily works Rick's name into EVERY conversation, and points out that Karen's seeing somebody, too, but she doesn't rub it in. Karen starts to stammer out an explanation for her reluctance to discuss her man-child, but Naomi's not listening. She cuts off Karen to continue her anti-Lily rant, behaving strikingly like Lily in the process, I might add. Naomi says it's totally crazy for Lily to throw herself from one messed-up relationship straight into another one. Karen interjects that everyone's a little out of control sometimes, clearly thinking of her own fling. But that doesn't stop Naomi, who barely pauses for breath as she says that Karen's not out of control, and even if she were, she'd never let it affect her kids. Looks like Naomi doesn't know as much as we do about Karen's Dr. Leo. Karen looks thoughtful for a moment, obviously remembering the dinner Leo shared with her kids, and then starts to say "It's not that easy to --" but Naomi's relentless in her imitation of Lily, interrupting Karen to say something about "dragging four kids into it" and trying to make one big happy family. Karen freezes Naomi's flapping jaw with a penetrating look -- it's clearly the first she's heard of the kids being involved. Naomi actually shuts the hell up for a few seconds as she realizes she just put her foot in it.
Cut to Jake sprawled on his couch with Tiffany perched near his head. She pulls a thermometer from his mouth and says "Okay, I may not believe in the flu, but according to [your temperature] you do." Um, how do you not believe in the flu? She pops up off the couch as Jake's muttering about a shrimp delivery and picking up the kids from school. She says she'll take care of everything (but she's not his girlfriend, right?) and mockingly says "Thank-you Tiffany. You're welcome Jake," while the sickie just lies on the couch staring blankly ahead.
Cut back to the high school. This time we're following the camera through a steamy gray locker room, and I already have the heebies. Nothing good ever comes out of those places, especially in high school. We see two members of Cassidy's herd walking down an aisle, and they're clearly looking for someone. They find Grace in the last row. Let me just point out that one of them has her hair pulled back in barrettes like a six-year-old, and they're wearing totally coordinated outfits. One has a blue belly shirt with a blue shirt tied around her waist, and the other one has the same ensemble but in yellow. They don't look especially threatening to me, but then again, I'm not in high school and intimidated by the popular people. As they sidle up to Grace, Generic Bitch One says, "Are you a lesbian?" Generic Bitch Two adds, "Because it looked kinda serious, between you and Jennifer today? In the hall?" I should add that they're the kind of girls who say everything as though it were a question. Generic Bitch One asks, "If it wasn't lesbianic [sic], what was the topic?" Grace takes a moment to consider her options, and then points out that "lesbianic" isn't a word. Unfortunately, these two girls don't care that they're stupid, so Grace's barb has little effect. Generic Bitch Two asks if Jennifer told her "a vicious lie about a really good friend of [theirs]. Because it's completely untrue." "Oh, it's that kind of lie," Grace retorts, but again, they don't care that they're imbeciles. I don't even think they get it. The two put on their menacing faces and tell Grace that if she spreads that lie, she'll be "quite... sorry." Oooh. What are they going to do? Coordinate her outfits until she begs for mercy? Still, Grace feels the weight of their threat for a moment and cowers against the lockers. Then she apparently realizes that these little mall-rat mafiaosos have a combined weight of about a hundred and six pounds. She straightens her spine, adjusts her sweater, and asks why they're so worried if it's completely untrue.
Well, now, that wasn't supposed to happen. The two stand there looking as blank as their IQs. Then they change tactics and throw their arms against the lockers, blocking Grace on either side. Are they kidding? Any sudden movement toward their faces, and I guarantee these two would stop drop and roll. I'm no fighter, but it's ridiculously obvious that they aren't either. While they've got Grace trapped, Generic Bitch One (or is it Two? I can't tell them apart) leans in and asks if Grace is African American, and then asks, "If [she's] not, then why was [she] dating one?" Hmm. A bigot who uses politically correct terminology. Grace looks from one to the other before answering: "I don't know. Why are you a messhuginah racist bitch?" And she gets right up in the messhuginah racist bitch's face as she says it. Go Grace! She moves to push past the little yellow one, but the blue one slams the locker again before moving really close to Grace. She says that Eli knows how much Grace likes him, and that he can get her to do anything. She says he laughs about it -- they all do. Then she tells Grace to forget about anything she's heard about Cassidy. All I know is, I'm glad I've seen the last of high school. Best years, my ass.
Cut to Miles still irritating Rick and David. The three men are sitting around a conference table eating take-out. Rick continues to humor Miles, and David leaves in disgust. Again. Miles gets his little helper (it's this woman who seems to follow him everywhere and never makes a peep) to assist him with his coat. Before he leaves, Miles reminds Rick that they agreed David would be out of the loop. Miles doesn't want to deal with him on any level. As soon as he sweeps out of the room, David comes back in to say that he hates the way Rick acts around Miles. Rick, becoming visibly more stressed every time we see him, points out that he's just "handling" a client who happens to represent a lot of money. He says he's sorry that Miles pushes David's buttons, but it doesn't affect him. As they bicker, Rick notices Karen hovering in the doorway. David makes to leave, but then pops back in to say one more thing that just can't wait: Not only does Miles make Rick look differently at David, he makes Rick doubt him. Then he goes and stays gone.
Karen's stopped by to get Jessie's camp papers, which need to be sent that day. Rick sifts through the many papers covering his desk. When he hands them to Karen, she asks if there's some reason why he didn't sign them. She says if he's uncertain about sending Jessie, or if he has some other plans... (she's trying to get him to fess up about Lily and the kids). Rick actually almost snaps. He tells Karen that he said he'd sign them, and he will, he just needs a minute to look at the dates. Seeing that Karen has a funny look on her face, he asks if he did something wrong. She tells him that she knows about the dinner plans with Lily. Rick tells her it's not a big deal -- the kids are "just going to share a pizza." She asks if he discussed it with them, and Rick is justifiably offended, snidely thanking her for the vote of confidence.
B/W Karen asks "I'm just supposed to watch while some other woman becomes involved with my kids? Just allow it?" Now may not be the time to point out that they're Rick's kids, too.
Karen and Rick bicker at one another a little longer, until they're interrupted by the phone. Guess who? It's peppy Lily, still flying on whatever she was on earlier. She starts chirping at Rick about big subs and chicken wings and asks if Jessie's a vegetarian (she is), blah blah blah badtimingcakes. Karen knows who's on the phone and starts to walk away. Rick stops her to remind her about Jessie's camp papers, which he's trying to sign will jiggling the phone and responding to Lily. He lets us know he's frazzled by dropping the phone. He hands Karen the papers and she stalks off. As Rick watches her leave, he tells Lily that they shouldn't go overboard. Lily says she's not, and he tells her she doesn't have to try so hard. Again, she says she's not, but now she's offended. She says, "Fine, [they'll] keep it simple," and hangs up on him. Is it just me, or is dinner turning out to be more trouble than it's worth? Whoever said the fastest way to a guy's heart is through his stomach obviously never had to deal with exes and other people's children.
Cut to the bookstore, where Karen's hesitantly opening the door. Judy's on the phone, saying she has to go because a customer just came in. Still flogging the old "what's a customer?" joke, she snarks that she's not making it up, and moves toward Karen, holding out the phone. She asks Karen to tell "him" that she's really in the store, but this craziness obviously falls outside of Karen's "parameters" because she backs away from the phone like it's a fungus. Judy says she has "to go, Sam." Pardon me, but did you say "SAM?" Just checking. From the tone of Judy's voice as she says good-bye, it's a good bet that it's not the first time he's called her since she dumped him. She hangs up decisively and says "wrong number." Karen declines Judy's offer to help her find a book.
B/W Karen says "I don't know Lily. I don't want to know Lily." Reeeeealy? So what are you doing in her bookstore, hmmm?
The real Karen tells Judy that she's Rick's ex-wife, and Judy's shocked. Karen says she does need a book after all, and asks for a copy of Saint Maybe. She also admits that she was looking for Lily. Judy tells her Lily doesn't work there anymore, but that she's Lily's "self-destructive sister." Karen officially introduces herself and they shake hands. Judy studies Karen with a look of wonder and says "You are not how I pictured you." It's clearly a compliment.
Meanwhile, school's out, and Rick's just pulled up to the curb to pick up Eli. He's telling Jessie, who's in the backseat, that he thinks she'll "like them." He tells her to ask Eli about Grace if she's curious. She says she's "not that curious." It's not going to be that easy, in other words.
Eli spots Grace walking along the sidewalk and calls out to her. She keeps walking, but he's persistent when he needs something and catches up to kinda sorta ask for her help with an essay that's already overdue. He can tell by her face that something is wrong, and won't let it drop. She finally says that she "just doesn't understand [his] friends, that's all." He asks if she's talking about his male friends or female friends, but then he remembers he doesn't have any female friends, so he asks if it's Cassidy's friends she's talking about. Grace tries to play it cool, but her face betrays her and he asks if it's about Cassidy. She says to forget it and starts to walk away, but she's got him all riled up and he just has to know what's up. He starts throwing out ridiculous suggestions: "Cassidy's really a man? Cassidy did her homework? Now that would shock me. Cassidy's not a real blonde, her hair's falling out, she's missing a few toes..." Grace is laughing by this time, so the "ridiculous" suggestion catches her off-guard. "She slept with half the senior class," Eli says, and when Grace stops laughing, he knows he's getting warm. Grace says she has to go, but he won't let her. Reluctantly, Grace tells him that she "didn't even think it was true until [Cassidy's] stupid friends..." Eli looks like she just kicked him in the stomach. Rick calls Grace's name and breaks the tension. He's jogging across the lawn toward them and says he wants Grace to meet Jessie. Grace tries her best to squirm out of it, but to no avail. When they reach the truck, though, she's spared since Jessie's gone. While Rick scratches his head and wonders where Jessie could be, Grace starts searching for her escape.
Tiffany and Zoe are in the parking lot watching for Grace. Zoe's sitting in the window of the car, and Tiffany's leaning against the side. It's all very cozy. Zoe tells her that she's "getting a new sister, maybe," and fills in Tiffany about the situation between Rick and Lily. Tiffany asks if Zoe's mad at Grace, and Zoe says no, she just hates her. She asks Tiffany to hate her, too. Tiffany starts explaining that not everyone feels the same way about a person, and uses Drew Barrymore as an example. Like there are actually people in this world who don't like her. It's a concept almost beyond the grasp of both of them. Tiffany sees Grace and calls her name.
Grace is so relieved to get out of Sammlerville that she rushes over to Tiffany. Jessie returns to Rick's truck just after Grace leaves. Looking stunned but a little smug, Tiffany says to Grace, "Are you actually glad to see me?"
Cut to Lily at work in front of her computer. She's talking into her headset, asking Rick about their "ETA" because she needs to clean up, the house is a total mess. Rick cuts her off by asking, "So what?" Lily doesn't even blink but tells him he has to stop at the video place, too. He tells her they don't need a movie. So Lily asks if they "can talk toppings." She's decided to get stuff so that everyone can make their own pizza, because it'll be easier -- "than cooking a five-course meal?" Rick snarks. Hmm. Cranky and sarcastic -- who knew he had it in him? Sighing, he asks her "not to make a big deal out of it, Jessie's already a little..." Lily jumps in to ask if he's saying they shouldn't do it at all. He says she's not going to please everyone, so she should just stop "trying so hard." She asks what he meant, that "Jessie's already a little..." Rick's new backbone dissolves again, and he says that David has a question so he has to go. David's actually standing at Rick's desk to drop off a bottle of scotch. He handles it like it's a container of toxic sludge, so I'm guessing it's from Miles. Rick reads the card, which says "Thanks for working late this evening." David shoots Rick yet another bad, bad look, and Rick sets down the bottle with a thunk.
Meanwhile, back at the bookstore, Judy and Karen have gotten pretty tight. The two of them are sitting at the kid's table putting together Duplo blocks, and it's apparent that Karen's just finished unburdening herself about her relationship with the man-child. They agree that infatuation feels like an illness and Judy admits that her relationship is "more embarrassing" than Karen's. I'm not so sure "embarrassing" is the word for it -- shameful, wrong, icky, okay, but "embarrassing?" Too lightweight. Karen, in a surprising display of humor, asks, "What -- is he twelve years old?" Judy says that he's, um, er, ah "seeing someone else." Well, that's one way to describe being married. Judy says it's too bad Lily wasn't there -- "she's pretty great...except for how she's always standing in the way of [Judy's] happiness." The two share another little laugh.
Cut to Crusty (finally!), who's sitting at Lily's desk. Lily's been in the washroom, as she informs Crusty when asked. Crusty tells her some girl named Tiffany called and said not to worry about picking up the girls and something about talking to Zoe so she doesn't need to wear a rainhat anymore.
B/W Lily says "I don't know Tiffany. I don't want to know Tiffany. Am I really supposed to just let this other woman become involved with my children?" Sound like anyone we know? Again, I don't think it's the right time to point out the hypocrisy here.
Rick is on the phone with Miles who, to my horror, is sprawled naked in his office (his buttocks are covered by a towel, thankfully) getting a massage. It's been a few days since the episode aired, but I still wake up screaming. Anyway, Rick tells him he got the scotch but he won't be able to work late -- he's already got plans with the woman he's seeing and their kids. When will he learn not to tell Miles anything about his personal life? Miles, of course, just uses the information to make a patronizing and manipulative speech, saying "One door opens, and another closes." It's okay, Rick doesn't get it either. Miles says that he admires what Rick is doing (like hell) -- trying to open his heart to another man's child. Miles says he could never do it. Well, no, since that would entail him actually having a heart to open. Rick yanks the pencils from the mug on his desk and violently unscrews the cap on the scotch. All right, here it comes, Rick's going to get loaded, and he's going to lose the account, and Lily's going to figure out that he's an alcoholic, right? I mean, that's what the previews promised, didn't they? Yeeeah, not quite. Rick the "radical fellow" simply pours himself a nice slug of scotch. Miles keeps blathering on, saying that it's one of life's "sliest tricks" that there are always "children waiting in the wings like little wet blankets. Or cold showers." I love it. Miles then says he doesn't want to wait until Monday to meet with Rick. "People postpone things, and they shouldn't." Sound familiar? Rick still insists that, although he's sorry to put off Miles, he has plans. Miles says plans are made to be altered. Yeah, but only when they're someone else's plans, right?
Cut back to Crusty, who's telling Lily about her stepmother. She says she's a "perfectly nice person, if you like gravy boats," but she tries too hard and is so desperate for Crusty's approval that she works overtime to get it. "Which is certainly a contributing factor to, you know, [Crusty's] hatred of her. It is the curse of the stepmother." She then goes on to say that all her friends hate their stepmothers, too, and she's met some of them -- "they're lovely women, but they're stepmothers. It is their destiny to try too hard and be despised for it." Ah, she's like a breath of fresh air, isn't she? She tells Lily that she has "nothing to fear from this Tiffany person" and then dashes off, having no clue that her words were like a glass of ice water thrown in Lily's face.
Rick calls to tell Lily that he can't make it for dinner after all -- he has to work late. Lily seems relieved. Who wouldn't be after that little "pep talk" from Crusty? She says it can wait and then lies and says Crusty's screaming for her and she has to go.
Rick looks worn out as he hangs up the phone and takes another belt from his mug of the good stuff.
After commercials, we return to find Eli driving Rick's truck along a residential street. He sees a girl who looks like Cassidy (also blonde, also with a shirt tied around her waist -- what is it with that?) walk into her house with a guy. Eli is tormented.
Cut to Lily at home, bellowing for the girls to come downstairs. She spot's Phil's cardigan dumped on the floor of the foyer and picks it up while muttering under her breath. Zoe races down to show Lily the picture she made for Jessie. It's a picture of Jessie in her martial arts get-up with "awesome" and "cool" and other stuff all around her on the page. It's very sweet. Lily turns her attention back to a gift she's wrapping, and from the doorway Grace mentions that she's not feeling so good and asks Lily if "messhuginah means crazy." She remembers her grandpa calling people that, and Lily smiles fondly at the memory. Lily casually mentions to Zoe that it's nice she and Tiffany talked about the atmosphere. Then she says that she and Rick decided that night wasn't good for them to get everyone together. Zoe's upset and runs upstairs, but Grace is elated. Lily leaves to drop the gift at Naomi's house.
Cut to Jessie in Rick's bedroom, taking one of his sweaters from a drawer. She ties it around her waist as she saw Grace do earlier, and looks at herself in the mirror. She pulls off the sweater and dumps it in a chair before flopping onto the bed.
Zoe rips her picture in half and throws herself face-first onto her bed.
Rick calls and tells Jessie that dinner's off, and a huge smile spreads across her face. Rick hangs up, and David steps up to tell him he won't give him a ride home. He says he's leaving now, so that he doesn't "have to puke" later, when Miles gets there. Very mature. Then he goes on to say that, not only does it bother him that Rick doubts him when Miles is around, but Rick also doubts himself. He leaves, and Rick looks thoughtful. Or maybe he's just loaded from that single finger of scotch he poured himself.
Grace goes into the bathroom to brush her hair, and in the mirror notices that Zoe's flopped on her bed. She makes fun of how upset Zoe is, and says that Jessie may not be as nice as Zoe hopes. Zoe says "no matter what, she can't be any meaner than [Grace]."
Cut to Lily on Naomi's porch. Naomi calls "come in" and then throws open the door. Lily says, "I know you're ignoring it, but happy birthday anyway," and thrusts the gift at her with a big smile. That's not even close to what Naomi said about her birthday plans, but you can't blame Lily -- she was thinking of something more important (herself) when Naomi talked about her birthday. Naomi looks like what she'd really like for her birthday is a trap-door on her porch. A couple of women come out of a room behind her and call out that she forgot her champagne. Lily is hurt. Naomi tries to explain and, characteristically, Lily keeps interrupting until Naomi gets so exasperated that she just lets Lily have it. She asks, "When's the last time you asked me anything about me? When we talked about anything other than your problems?" Lily points out that it hasn't been an easy time for her, and Naomi acts all insulted and says she knows that, but it isn't exactly easy for her to hear about all the great sex Lily's having with her close friend's ex-husband. The exchange fizzles, and Lily unsmilingly holds out the gift for Naomi to take. Naomi asks her to bring it inside -- just so she can get a little closer to the party she wasn't invited to. Lily puts the gift on a table and then thrusts her hands into the pockets of her father's sweater. She pulls out a folded piece of paper on which Phil had written a note. It says, "GET GIFTS 4 KIDS" Lily looks as though she's just found the Rosetta Stone. Suddenly, the women in the other room become very loud and, from what they say, it's clear that they're Naomi's reading group. Lily's right by the doorway, and she peeks in just as one of the ladies asks Karen to read a passage. Karen looks up, and her eyes meet Lily's. Karen reads, "'I'd like you to meet the woman who's changed my life,' he said." She looks up at Lily again.
B/W Karen continues reading: "'Your -- what was that? OH your life!' And she tipped her head and smiled."
In the living room, Karen and Lily are still looking at one another. Lily smiles, and then moves to leave. B/W Lily moves into the screen where regular Lily left off. She picks up the book and sits down to read aloud: "And she tipped her head and smiled. After all, she might have said this was an ordinary occurrence. People changed other people's lives every day of the year. There was no call to make such a fuss about it."
Cut to Lily walking through Rick's darkened office, which is empty except for him. He's slumped in his chair, looking pensive. Lily launches into a big speech saying maybe they're not going to fast or too slow, as they always worry. Maybe things are happening exactly as they should. She asks if he believes in omens, he says no, and she says she doesn't either. Except that she does. She says she realizes now that she's got four kids in her life (just like the note said!). Ever since she and Rick hooked up, these kids have been part of her life whether they like it or not, and whether they even know it. Seeing the scotch bottle, she asks if he's been drinking (someone, please, slap the person who puts together the previews -- there was no alcoholism here, just as there was no bigotry on Jake's part a couple episodes ago, and I don't believe this show is so desperate for ratings that it has to stoop to sensationalizing its previews). Rick says not really, and that is that on the subject of Rick's implied alcoholism. He says that he's enjoyed keeping the kids outside their relationship -- that it's been like a room they're not allowed in -- but Lily says it's time to let them in. Rick looks at her for a moment and then scoots his chair across to the phone. After wiping a tear from his eye (really!) he picks up the phone and leaves a message for Miles saying that he'll see him on Monday. Dinner is back on, it seems. Lily puts her hand on Rick's shoulder and says they should just order pizza and keep it really simple.
In Rick's living room, the kids are blissfully unaware that they're going to have to meet them after all. Jessie's working on her computer, and Eli's slouched in a chair looking all torn up. Rick comes in and tells them they're having dinner with Lily's kids after all. He leaves to "freshen his breath." Eli looks even more morose than he did a second ago, and Jessie asks him if he doesn't want to go. He says he just doesn't "particularly like Grace Manning very much." We-hell, she's not the one sleeping around on you, you poor misguided slob. Jessie is surprised to hear that his feelings have changed, and when he assures her that he doesn't think Grace is "great" or "wonderful" she gets all giddy and jumps on his back.
Eli seeks out Rick, who's gargling in the bathroom, to tell him he doesn't want to go to the Mannings'. Rick jangles the keys and says he needs him to drive.
Grace, walking past Zoe's room, spots the torn picture on the floor.
Rick and the kids pull up outside the Manning house, and we go through the same montage of clips that opened the show, except that everyone's moving at regular speed, the music is much peppier, and it has the feel of reality instead of a dream. Oh, and now we see that it's Grace who tapes up Zoe's torn picture.