As soon as the show starts, it's clear that we're going to get up close and personal with Judy because she's the one sitting there in black-and-white. She's perched casually on a stool saying, "I can't believe it. I mean I can believe it, it's just...unbelievable." Huh?
We have only a split second to ponder what the hell Judy means, because the camera cuts immediately to the interior of a noisy, crowded bar. It pans until it lands on Judy, who's sitting at a table and looking very bored with her chin propped on her palm. Some dorky guy brings her a drink. Shockingly, he appears to be her date. As he hands her the martini he asks, "Isn't this place great?" Judy responds with a little sarcasm: "I just wish it were louder and more crowded." Although really, I don't know why she's complaining. If this is the guy's idea of conversation, she should be grateful that it's too loud to talk. It's okay, though; Judy doesn't offend him with her sarcasm, mainly because the lame-o doesn't get it. So Judy explains, nice and slow, that she was just kidding. Although he seems familiar with the concept of humour, he can't seem to apply it to her particular remark. "Oh," he says, opening his mouth nice and wide to take a big gulp of beer. He either doesn't appreciate her humor or he still doesn't get it. Whatever the problem is, it's apparent that Judy is not having a good date.
Cut to Lily's bathroom, where she's busy scrubbing her tub. Who knew beautiful people could leave a ring? She's wearing drudge clothes -- sweatshirt and rubber gloves -- but don't you worry, she still manages to look good. Enter Judy with a hamper of towels to be put away. As she folds and stacks she's busy complaining: "I feel like I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel." No arguments here. "Maybe I'm not being picky enough." Now there's a gaping understatement. "Or maybe I'm being too picky." Um, no. And she goes on, wondering, "Am I wrong? Am I wrong to have some criteria?" Excuse me, but based on that last date, her criteria would be what, exactly? Anyway, Lily doesn't get a chance to get in a word, so we're not getting any answers there.
We see Judy on another date, which appears to be nearing its end. Judy's outside her building with a guy in a very dapper (yeah, I said "dapper") overcoat, and we assume they've just come from the ballet because she says, "Nobody takes me to the ballet." At last, it seems Judy's found a man of taste and refinement. He's such a gentleman that he even asks if he can kiss her goodnight. But alas, he grabs her ass -- a full-on, double-fisted grope which is hard to miss since the camera zooms right in on it. Judy quite rightly leaves him standing dumbfounded on the sidewalk as she storms into her building.
So it seems a bit of a pattern is developing here, kids. Like: Judy can't have a pleasant date with a remotely normal guy. But that plucky little Judy -- instead of just staying home and avoiding all this misery and disappointment, she's going to get right back out there! Yessiree, apparently with the first guy who asks.
Cut to Judy in the bookstore with Lily. Judy's still wondering aloud why it is that her love life sucks: "Maybe it's me. Maybe I attract weirdos. I'm like -- what do they call that in physics? -- a magnet." Actually, I'm pretty sure almost everyone, inside and out of physics, calls them magnets, but I digress. "A strange attractant?" Judy continues, but Lily shuts her up with a swift blow below the belt. "A victim?" she suggests. Ouch. But then, I'd probably get a little nasty if I actually had to stand around listening to Judy go on and on and on.
That night, Judy's snug in her apartment, wearing comfy clothes, and chatting to someone on her computer -- someone named Jean-Paul. Whoa-ho, he's an international man of mystery. He writes, "There is no exit from you. No escape. I am smitten." I will refrain, with great effort, from making fun of this message. I'd hate for anyone to think I'm not romantic. And so Simone...I mean Judy...responds, "So shall we meet? Finally?" Okay, I can't stand it. "Smitten"? "SHALL"? What the hell? I'm not sure, but I think these crazy kids have gotten their hands on one of them there ro-mance books.
we see Judy sitting alone in a bar. Again. But this time she looks perky, expectant -- hopeful, even. As she sips from her martini, a strapping young lad comes into view, at a distance. Their eyes meet...could this be Jean-Paul? Get serious. Anyone who can't see where this is going obviously hasn't turned on a TV set in about thirty years. So anyway, strapping young lad sidles past and, disappointed, Judy turns her back to the bar for a moment. A masculine shoulder appears in the corner of the screen. A strong voice asks, "Simone?" and Judy turns to face a warmly smiling, but elderly, southern gentleman. Judy does a piss-poor job of hiding her disappointment.
Black-and-white Judy's back, this time to tell us how she didn't have a date for the millennium but that it's okay because it's not like it was an omen for the rest of the century or anything. Silly me, I thought she was going to say it was okay because she had a good time anyway. But still, Judy's fighting to remain optimistic about landing herself a man, in spite of all the horror that's gone before. That's good, she's got spirit. Men like that.
Cut to the interior of a cavernous art gallery, where there's an exhibit of big metal sculptures. Judy's busy moaning again: "It's just all so desperate." Lily misunderstands (perhaps she's not really paying attention, and I can't say I blame her), and thinks Judy's referring to the artwork. But Judy pulls her firmly back on track, saying, "I meant my life...Maybe I should just give up dating altogether, you know, because now I've just become one of those women." "What women?" Lily wants to know. Yeah, Judy, what women? The kind who are willing to go out with anyone just because they ask? The kind who obsess so much about their crappy love lives and sucky dates that they make everyone around them want to puncture their eardrums rather than listen to one more self-pitying word? But again, I digress. What Judy meant was that she's becoming the kind of woman whose mother is so desperate to see her paired off that she, too, becomes active in finding potential dates. Apparently Judy almost let her mother set her up with the son of a friend, but they guy was a pharmacist. After walking around a sculpture that "speaks" to Judy, the pair just happen to run into Rick and a friend. Lily immediately drapes herself down the front of Rick while they make smiley chit-chat. They're awfully friendly considering how recently she slept with someone else. While those two are busy smooching, Judy and the stranger make small talk -- he makes a joke about the sculptures that leads to the revelation that he sculpted them. Lily and Rick continue with their public display of affection, leading Sam the sculptor to observe wryly, "You know, the couple that seems to have the best sex life is actually the most troubled." Judy agrees, saying, "Of course, they're overcompensating." Lily and Rick smile indulgently at the jokesters. Sam rushes off to stop someone from buying one of the pieces to which he's become attached, and we're left watching Judy watching him. She's got this goofy look that, I think, means she's smitten.
Cut to the outside, where the camera is focused on a raised car hood. Someone is tinkering with the engine. I guess it's Judy since we cut immediately to black-and-white Judy talking about an ex-boyfriend -- how he was really into old cars and she "did that thing you do, you know?" -- she immersed herself in something she wasn't into just because he was. Well it didn't work out, but hey, Judy "learned a lot -- about rebuilding cars." Ba-dum-dum.
Which explains why she's draped over her engine now. Luckily, Sam rolls up in his pick-up truck, ready to lend a hand, but since Judy clearly knows more about cars than he does (you can tell because she throws around terms like "distributor cap" and "spark plugs"), he just offers her a ride home. Before they leave, Judy asks what seems like an innocuous question about where he gets ideas for his art. He responds (and pay close attention here), "I guess I'm always in search of something...."
During the ride, Judy blathers on and on about how she almost went to art school and she works in impressively arty phrases like "capturing a moment" and "light and dark" and talks about how she was almost a photographer and she wanted to go to film school, too, and...she realizes how everything she's talked about has been a thing left undone. Her life has been a series of regrets. She becomes self-conscious about it, but Sam finds it refreshing; she's so unlike most people, who try to impress you with their accomplishments. Judy and Sam then share a moment while trying to identify a flattened sandwich she finds in his truck. Now that he feels so close to her, Sam tells Judy to go after what she wants, whether it's film school or photography or a dance class. She thanks him with a quiet profundity and then gives him another serious once-over before getting out of the truck, where she stands grinning and staring at him. Subtle, Judy.
Back to black-and-white Judy again, talking about the obvious signs that a guy isn't right for you. Like: "He tries to sleep with you on the first date; he doesn't listen to a word you say; he chews with his mouth open; he takes a big handful of mints when you leave the restaurant; he forgets your birthday. He forgets your name. Oh, and I'm adamant about this one: If he doesn't like hot cocoa...." Judy pauses here to look aside, suck in her breath, and shake her head, as if she can't believe this type of monster exists. She can't even finish her thought, apparently, because the concept of a cocoa-hating man is just too much. It's becoming clear why Judy's love life is what it is.
Back in Judy's apartment, she's idly flicking through a magazine, her chin propped on her hand. The buzzer sounds, but before we can find out who's at the door, we cut back to black-and-white Judy again. And she's really close up, saying, "On the other hand, he knows exactly what to say."
Back to Judy's reality, where she's opening the door and it's -- quelle surprise! -- Sam. He's come back in order to "phrase something [he] said a little better." Sam explains that he didn't want her to think he was telling her what to do when he said she should go back to film school and all that jazz. Because he was really thinking about himself at the time -- how when he's working, it's the only time he really feels alive, and he senses the same thing in Judy. There's some awkwardness as Judy thanks him. Then she invites him into her apartment and offers him a drink. Does he like hot chocolate? "Who doesn't?" he responds. Whew. Breathe easy, Judy -- he's clearly the man for you! And that tricky minx, she never had any cocoa in the first place! So she gives him a glass of white wine instead and then proceeds to gush and ramble and basically reveal what a needy twit she's been in past relationships. Awkward silence ensues. After all, what do you say when someone you've known for like five minutes unloads their emotional baggage at your feet? So then Judy admits that sometimes she'd like to take a vacation from herself, and this is followed by a couple of feeble jokes, one of which is a throwback to that sandwich in Sam's truck. What is it with them and that sandwich? Let it go already. Sam steals glances at Judy. Judy steals glances at Sam. Oh, yeah, there's something happening here. Except when Judy asks him to take off his coat, he seems to snap back to reality and says he should really go. He says, "This has all been...very..." but we're left to fill in the blank because he's too busy staring at Judy. He catches himself and heads for the door. But not so fast mister -- you've still got to pause for that requisite last deep, meaningful look at the door before you're free to go. After which Judy closes the door softly and then rests her head against it, smiling.
Black-and-white Judy comments on the moment: "And if he doesn't kiss you, but you feel like you've been kissed...."
time we see Sam he's at Rick's office, meeting with Rick and Miles. Miles is being a big insulting pain-in-the-ass, saying how much better Sam's earlier work is than what he's doing now, and that the old style is what he wants for the building Rick is designing. Sam is justifiably offended and suggests that Miles should simply hire someone else to rip off his earlier work, since it would be cheaper. Rick jumps in to break it up, suggesting that they give Sam some time to think it over before he commits to the job. Miles leaves and Rick asks Sam if he really wants to do this (prostitute himself as an artist, he means). Sam needs the money, though, so he can't afford to have artistic principles at the moment. Rick sympathizes by saying, "Whatever happened to living off the land and doing your art?" I'm assuming this is yuppie hippie-speak for an ideal they held as college students. Sam is somewhat defensive, but they laugh it off in the end. He insists he's okay with being a hack (hey welcome to the club, pal), but somehow it's not wholly convincing.
At the bookstore, Lily asks Judy to take care of some special orders since she has to leave for a date with Rick. Judy asks if Lily will do her a favor and get the skinny on Sam, and Lily promises she will.
Black-and-white Judy cuts in saying, "He has to...resonate." What? "For me it's very meaningful if I can't get him out of my mind."
Cut back to the bookstore, where Judy is sitting by the window reading a book. It's a good thing she works for herself, what with all this thinking about Sam and reading on the job. She pops up to glance out the window, as if she senses someone's there. She does a slow register and turns around again for a second look. Now the camera flips outside, and we see Judy through the window looking stunned. Then Sam's reflection comes into view. She waves him inside and he says, "I uh...thought I might like to...look at your bookstore." So much for always knowing what to say. He says he might like to buy something, and Judy quips, "Good, we like that." He asks for something by an obscure modernist Swedish poet Judy hasn't heard of. That's okay, though, because he was just trying to impress her; he's never read anything by the guy either. Awkward silence follows, and Sam tries to leave, but Judy says, "I'm not going to let you leave here without buying something." So Sam comes back to the counter and tells her he thinks what she said, about wanting to take a vacation from herself, was very profound...well, maybe not profound, but intriguing. And then he asks if she knows "that poem, by that guy?" He's getting at a poem that's part of the Moonriver Anthology. Judy checks to see whether they have a copy in stock while Sam tells her about the particular poem he has in mind. She's not really paying attention, even though Sam is talking about something that is clearly meaningful to him (so by rights, Judy fails to meet one of her own criteria for dating). Just as he's about to get to his point, she cuts him off to tell him they don't have a copy but she can order it for him. Sam is taken aback and looks seriously unimpressed -- you can almost see him reeling himself back in. After yet another awkward moment, Sam grabs the first thing he sees so he can buy it and get the hell out of there. Judy seems to realize her mistake, and is overly gracious with him, although she doesn't give him a discount, which I think is kind of strange since she's the one who insisted he buy something.
Sam leaves, but comes right back in. He strides purposefully to the counter, like maybe he's going to tell her off for being rude, but instead he says, "I have not been able to get you out of my mind. I don't know what to do about you." Shocked, Judy makes some lame-ass response just before they start kissing.
Cut to black-and-white Judy for her take on the situation: "Sometimes things just happen. Sometimes things...you know...work out. You can't explain it." No, but thanks for the valiant effort.
Rick and Lily are in her living room, and he's giving her a massage while she bitches about having to do a household budget for the mediator. She just can't sort out all the expenses (doesn't she run her own business? hasn't she been running the house for a few months now? what's the problem?), and she doubts that the mediation will work because the last time she and Jake went they ended up screaming at one another and had to end the session. She then tries to kiss Rick, but he pulls away. She asks if he didn't want to kiss her. He says, "No, no, I did, I did...but something went through my mind." "What went through your mind?" Clueless -- I mean "Lily" -- wants to know. She says that maybe there are some things they need to talk about (ya think?) so that they can move on. Rick is reluctant. Lily suggests that they "just need time together. To be with each other." They share a big fat kiss and then Lily swings around again so that Rick will continue rubbing her back (her idea of being together, apparently). She remembers that she was supposed to ask him about his friend Sam, because Judy might be interested in him.
Cut to Judy and Sam standing outside her building, looking giddy. He gives her a postcard he stole from her shop (if he didn't steal it, it wouldn't be a surprise), and she pronounces this gesture very sweet. He says he wants to tell her something, but he hesitates and shoves his hands in his pockets in a classic defensive maneuver. He chickens out and simply leaves.
We see Judy soaking in a bubble bath, with a goopy green mask on her face and lots of candles lit around the tub. The phone rings. It's Lily, who wants to know whether Judy did her chores at the store like a good girl. Judy tells her she took care of them and then some, and Lily is duly impressed. She even tells Judy she's proud of her. Lily is riding an exercise bike and flipping through a catalogue while talking. She mentions she asked about Sam, which perks Judy up. Cut back to Judy just in time to hear Lily say, "Married...'very married,' whatever that means." Judy's mouth falls open and she slumps down in the tub. She sputters, "I've uh...I've just...got to get my...mask off." Lily comes close to perfecting her clueless routine and fails to notice the effect her news has had on Judy. They end the conversation and Judy, wide-eyed, slides all the way underwater. Maybe she should add "very married" to her list of signs that a guy's not right for her.
Different clips of black-and-white Judy saying "I'm thirty-five" like six times in a row. Neurotic much?
The day, Sam pops in to see Judy at the bookstore. He walks toward the counter, making some lame joke about a tiny book light but, not surprisingly, it falls flat. Judy tells him to leave. Immediately, he knows she knows. He starts trying to kiss up and explain what happened, but Judy's having none of it. She's good and mad, demanding to know why he doesn't wear a ring. He responds by pulling his ring, which is on a chain, from inside his shirt. Oh. His fingers swell while he works, so he can't wear it. So Judy shifts gears, calling him self-absorbed and self-serving. Now call me crazy, but isn't she the one who's been talking non-stop about herself through this entire episode? Lily walks in on Judy's tirade, which shuts up Judy fast. Sam beats a hasty retreat, and Lily instantly knows something happened: "You didn't sleep with him, did you?" Judy says no, but she might as well have. Lily cannot understand how all this happened in, like, two days. Judy starts bawling, so Lily hugs her. But then she starts lecturing Judy on how she gets herself into these things; she says that Judy just can't help it because she's so passionate. Judy realizes she's being condescended to, and she gets angry. Why can't Lily just give her some support for once and not judge her, she wants to know. Lily watches her storm out of the bookstore with an expression that says, "What the hell did I do?
Rick's at his office having a webcam tête-à-tête with Miles, who is being pompous as usual. The material Miles wants to use in the building won't work aesthetically with the design and it's not structurally suited, either, Rick explains. "But I like it," Miles says with a hint of petulance. Rick the whipping boy sighs and says he'll look over the design again. Miles asks about Sam, and wants to know why he hasn't heard from him. Rick reminds him it's only been a day since they've seen him, and they should give him time.
Cut to Judy's apartment, with the phone in the foreground. Sam's voice is on the answering machine, begging to see her. there's a message from her mother; she went ahead and gave Judy's number to the pharmacist. is another message from Sam, but Judy cuts it off mid-grovel.
At a restaurant called Canetti's Seafood Grotto, we follow Lily as she heads to Rick's table. They hug, get comfortable, and make small talk. Lily then jumps in and asks about Sam: Is he a good friend? Has he said anything about Judy? She tells Rick that Judy and Sam hit it off, that they didn't sleep together but something happened. Rick is disbelieving and wonders if Judy could have imagined it. Lily defends her sister, saying, "She's not an idiot." The argument escalates until Rick pulls back and Lily opens her menu and studies it angrily. A woman at the table stares at their little scene. Lily starts to get a clue, and wants to know what's really bothering Rick, but he doesn't want to get into it. She says she doesn't think things will get back to normal until they clear the air, and she keeps pressing until he gets visibly upset. Finally, he admits what's been bugging him; not surprisingly, it's the fact that she slept with someone else. He can't stop trying to imagine where she and Jake "did it" and he can't stop picturing her with "this expression on her face," by which, I assume, he means her expression when she's in the throes of passion. When he's finished, he looks uncomfortable and even embarrassed. But there's also a touch of "there -- you wanted to know, now you know" in his attitude.
Cut to Judy in bed. The phone on her night stand is ringing and, yes, it's Sam again with more begging and pleading. Judy slowly rolls toward the phone as he's whining away, and in the end picks up and agrees to meet him for five minutes.
Cut to Lily in bed. Zoe, her youngest daughter, bursts into the room for a moment of gratuitous family cuteness. She claims to have Attention Deficit Disorder. Grace pipes up, "Yeah, she can't get enough attention." Har. They crawl under the covers to snuggle with mom.
Rick drops by Sam's workshop for a little man-to-man talk. After some idle chat, Rick says that Sam can have more time to think about working for Miles. He expresses his sympathy over Sam's having to do his art for money, especially when it means dancing to Miles' tune. Sam rebuffs Rick, saying that he can handle the situation, and ends up calling Rick a hypocrite for trying to force him to live up to some artistic ideal while Rick "jumps through more hoops than anyone." Rick takes a moment and then cuts to the chase, asking, "How's Janine, Sam?" Sam is instantly angry, moving to put on his coat and telling Rick that if he wants to know what's going on with his marriage and Judy, he should just ask, and that it's none of his damn business anyway. Sam leaves Rick sitting there, looking troubled.
Cut to the interior of the bookstore, which isn't open yet. Sam knocks on the door and Judy lets him in. Both are reserved and understandably uncomfortable. Sam dives into the typical married-guy explanation: He tried to tell her, he wanted to tell her, this really isn't who he is. Judy pipes up to let him know she "really doesn't care who he is." Sam goes on explaining that for the past ten years he's thrown himself into his work and it was enough, but really he was hiding. And then he gives her the classic line: "My wife and I don't love each other anymore." He claims he was afraid to look at everything, but now he has, and he sees that he's lost himself, and nothing in his life has any meaning. He says he's sorry because none of this really has anything to do with Judy except that they met at the moment he realized all this. All he knows is he feels light inside, and he hates that he had to lie to her. Judy, meanwhile, has gone from being hostile and defensive to receptive. He tells her that the last few days were more than something sordid, and he thinks she needs to know that she was truly wanted. Uh-oh, he's found the magic button; Judy's all ears now. He gives her a book of poetry -- it's the anthology he was telling her about -- with a specific poem marked. He pauses behind her before he leaves, and I'm pretty sure he's smelling her hair. Judy's eyes follow him as he goes, and then she moves to the door to flip the sign from "closed" to "open." Hmm.
Rick is back at his desk, having yet another webcam conversation with Miles. They butt heads over Sam again, because Miles feels like Sam's not interested and has been blowing him off, but Rick insists that Sam just needs time. It's clear they don't communicate and they both know it. Miles says he doubts they understand each other, and Rick says he thinks they do. Miles ends the exchange by saying that that's a longer conversation for another time.
Back at the bookstore, Judy's busy cleaning everything in sight. Lily offers to cover for her and expresses her concern over what's been happening, but Judy says she's just been in a weird mood lately. She tries to convince Lily that things are looking up, though, by sounding upbeat about the pharmacist who's now got her number. Her little-trooper routine fails, though, and she starts crying. Lily actually just shuts up and hugs her, making a lame joke about pharmacists' income to try and cheer her up. Judy admits she's scared that she'll never find the right guy, or that she'll settle for the wrong guy just because she's so scared of ending up alone. She says that she never knows what she wants until it's too late, and Lily looks like Judy's hit a nerve with all these confessions. Judy admits that she wants to get married and have kids, but she doesn't know how to get there. Lily says she wishes she knew.
Cut to Lily at home on her sofa with a calculator and a pile of bills. The kids are out and she's working on the dreaded household budget when Rick comes by. Both admit how much they hate what's been happening between them, and Rick says he's got something to say. After a little build-up he comes out with it: "I love you very much and I can't live without you." Not surprisingly, that gets him a big fat kiss from Lily.
Cut to Judy's apartment where she's stretched out on the couch reading the poem Sam gave her.
Now black-and-white Sam's on the scene, reciting a line of the poem so we make sure to connect the meaning with him. Black-and-white Judy's there too, and she takes over for Sam, reading the rest of the poem from the book. Basically, the poem expresses a man's regrets as he looks back on his life and realizes that he never allowed himself to really experience anything because he was too afraid of taking risks and getting hurt.
we see Judy in her apartment, picking up dirty dishes while still holding the book in her hand. Not a good idea; the dishes fall and smash. She picks up the pieces and then goes to the phone, looking very thoughtful.
Close-up of a female hand covering a male one. The camera pans until we get a view of Lily and Rick's faces. They're making out and their breathing is very noisy. Okay, we get the point already.
Back to Judy who's just opening her door to Sam. Sappy piano music plays, presumably to heighten the emotion. Sam crosses the apartment to Judy, they move very slowly toward one another and kiss, and we are left with the distinct impression that they'll be in bed together before the credits finish rolling.