Mediation

Previously on O and A: Rick dumps Lily's cheatin' ass after she confesses that she slept with Jake, leaving us to wonder: Is it really over?

After the very emotive theme song, the show begins with a moody interior shot of rain pouring down a windshield. Parents are dropping off their kids at school, and the camera pans to Rick's profile. He's busy staring open-mouthed at an Explorer parked up ahead. Eli's rambling on at him from the passenger seat, but since Rick's tuning him out, we don't get to hear much of what he's talking about either. The woman with the Explorer looks like Lily from the back, but when she turns we see it's not her. "Dad!" Eli's voice cuts through the reverie and brings Rick crashing back to earth. Rick apologizes and asks Eli what he was saying. Eli explains that Jennifer signed him up for tutoring, which he clearly isn't happy about, and Rick says absently, "Oh, that's good."

Cut to Lily sitting inside her truck where the scene basically mirrors the one that just occurred between Rick and Eli. Lily's staring into her rear view mirror, distracted, as Grace blathers on about signing up to tutor, so she'll be late, and she doesn't need a ride. (Can anyone see where this is going yet?) Just like Eli, she too must yank her parent back to reality by snapping "Mom! Who are you looking for?"

Before Lily can supply the painfully obvious answer, however, we cut to black-and-white Grace, who says, "It's obvious she broke up with him. You can tell --" She's interrupted by black-and-white Zoe, who does some odd little deer leap across the screen while exclaiming, "You can tell by her clothes!" Black-and-white Grace disdainfully rolls her eyes and says, "You can tell by her clothes, but it was obvious even before she told us." Black-and-white Zoe pops up to explain: "Because the whole time she was going out with him, she was wearing her prettiest clothes of ever! And then all of a sudden--" Grace cuts in with: "And every time the phone rings, you can see her, like, hoping that it'll be--" "The Dad," Zoe chimes in. Grace, actually looking sympathetic says, "Only it never is."

Back in the Explorer, Grace has a little less patience for her mother. Frustrated, she tells Zoe to repeat everything for Lily and then bolts from the car wearing a hat that looks like it should be covered with beer caps and fishing lures. Hey, whatever grinds your gears.

Cut to Lily and Jake in the mediator's office, where they're listening to her speak. They're seated to one another, but their body language is screaming "get away from me." Jake's legs are bouncing up and down like a Chihuahua on speed. The mediator makes clear her neutral position and reminds them that they spent sixteen years making decisions together, implying that they can handle cooperating just a little while longer. Sure. If she weren't pregnant, I'd suspect she was riding a Valium cloud. Then again, it is her first time meeting this pair. Jake, of course, is all wrapped up in how much the mediation is going to cost and seems mildly placated when she assures him it's much cheaper than going through lawyers. She hands both of them a stack of homework - financial statements and assessments to fill in -- and Lily's expression makes it clear that the task is bewildering. The mediator asks about their assets, and Jake lists them briefly but says he doesn't know their value. Lily pipes up to say that there's a lien on the restaurant, but true to form,Jake dismisses the statement by saying "Yeah, we're taking care of that." The end result of all this talking is that Lily and Jake have to get the house and businesses appraised, and they'll need a forensic accountant to go over their accounts. Jake goes for the obvious joke: "Forensic? It sounds like an autopsy." That's right Chuckles, your marriage is dead, remember?

The mediator, who happens to be about two years pregnant, excuses herself to go to the bathroom. You get the impression she doesn't have much holding power, and Lily graciously says "Of course," but then asks the woman how far along she is. Then just as the poor woman is about to close the bathroom door (her washroom is conveniently located behind her desk), Lily stops her to ask another "quick question." Looking like she's going to cry, explode, or both, the mediator listens as Lily wonders whether they'll have to sell the house. Like it can't wait until after the pregnant lady goes to the bathroom. Although her teeth must be close to floating, the mediator explains that in about ninety percent of divorces, there just aren't enough assets to divide so that one spouse can keep the house while the other still gets fair value. And with that, she shuts the door to seek sweet relief.

Cut to the high-school, where the bell is ringing, and Jennifer is looking really happy to see Grace in the doorway of the tutoring office. She then switches Eli's current "backstabber" tutor for Grace, since things are less likely "to turn into a whole socializing thing" with her. Eli walks in and looks pretty unexcited when Jennifer tells him Grace is his tutor.

Meanwhile, Rick is at David's desk, demanding to know why the facade on a design has changed again. "Not epic enough" David answers scornfully. Rick repeats the answer in disbelief. David says the client wants the building to inspire "awe and dread" as "only great architecture can." Rick still can't believe it, to which David says he's "gotta meet his guy." Rick offers to tag along the day, saying "maybe [he] can supply the dread."

Grace and Eli are sitting in one of those "special use" classrooms -- the kind that have tables and chairs instead of desks. Eli's rooting around in his bag looking for his assignment. Grace asks if it's going to be a problem, and Eli thinks she's asking about the tutoring in general, and he proceeds to slide into some jock-talk, explaining how he's gotta do it for the team. But, duh, she meant is it a problem that she's tutoring him. He says no, so they dive right into the assignment -- writing an essay about "Kaymuss's [sic] The Stranger" -- and provide an opportunity for all of the literary snobs in the audience to smile condescendingly and congratulate themselves for being so smart because they know the author's name, Camus, rhymes with Shamoo not Amos. When he says that he has to explain why "the hero, or why the guy, is an anti-hero," Grace perceptively asks him if he knows what an anti-hero is. As she explains the concept to him, she subtly works in a proper pronunciation of the author's name, and Eli looks a little embarrassed. Grace misunderstands the source of his uncomfortable expression, and says that it was dumb of her to think he'd want her as a tutor just because their parents used to date. Eli's ears visibly perk at this statement, and Grace is astonished that he didn't know of the split. "Wow. It explains so much" Eli says. Looks like Grace is learnin' him all sortsa important stuff.

Cut to the interior of the Sammlers' refrigerator, where we're apparently camping out with the Arm and Hammer. Jesse opens the door, which is our "window" on the scene. Rick walks past Eli sitting on the counter, and Eli tells him his new tutor is Grace Manning. Jesse shuts the fridge door with a thunk. In case you're wondering, it's true -- when the door's closed, the light really does go out. We're sitting here in the dark for just a beat, as Rick immediately opens the door and starts eyeballing the fridge contents. He's trying to play it cool but isn't succeeding. He says that with everything that's been happening at work, he hasn't seen much of Lily lately. Hmmm. Zo he doesn't vant to tell zem zat he broke up with ze Mom. Werrry interestink. He walks away, and in his state of distraction leaves the fridge door gaping. Jessie and Eli look at him like his biscuit's flipped, and then Jessie hops down to slam the fridge door closed, leaving us in the dark again.

The time the door opens, we're peering into the Manning's kitchen. We're no longer in the fridge, however -- it seems we've graduated to hanging out in the cupboards. And, in case you didn't notice, we're in the midst of another parallel experience. It's the second of many, so get used to it. Grace is grabbing for a box of crackers as Lily asks incredulously, "You're tutoring Eli?" Grace says "Yeah" with that wide-eyed adolescent expression that silently tags "you moron" to whatever statement is being made. Lily wants to know how it happened, and Grace impatiently answers, "How [does she] think it happened? It just happened. How does anything happen?" Well, snark, snark. What's up her ass? She shuts the cupboard door, and once again, we're in the dark.

Which gives me a second to compose a note to Grace: Not everyone can pull off the barrette thing. There's no shame in admitting defeat to hair accessories. I too have tried and failed. Please, please just give up and move on.

Later that day, Lily and the girls are in the dining room, and she tells them that they'll have to clean the house that night because someone is coming to look at it in the morning. Immediately, both girls turn rabid, wanting to know what's up, since Lily said they wouldn't have to move. Lily does her best to assure them they won't be moving, but she tacks on "probably" to avoid making promises she can't keep. Grace looks like she's got a mouthful of turds and gets up to leave the table. Zoe's right behind her. "Girls," Lily pleads, but Zoe turns in the doorway and says "You said we should clean up." Looks like she's been taking some lessons in snark from her big sis. And we're left to contemplate the loneliness of Lily, who's looking smaller and smaller as the camera pans away from her.

The morning, Lily opens the door to a horrible, horrible man wearing a trench coat and plaid cap. He is very stout and has a mustache that's a throw-back to the seventies. But not in a hip way. He pushes past Lily while tossing out his name (Ed) and she stands there, stunned. After a beat she says, "Um, yeah. Come in," to the empty stoop, and makes a froggy face which is meant to reinforce her sarcasm. Plucky little guitar notes punch up this playful little moment of comic relief, as Ed breezes through the foyer throwing out suggestions on how to spruce up the place. "I'm Ed," he says as he strides past Zoe, who's sitting at the dining-room table. "Ah, you do homework. That's good," Ed observes, evaluating Zoe as if she's a fixture of the house. In the kitchen, he tells Lily "[she] might want to do something about the clutter -- there's too many magnets on the fridge." He tells her the pictures on the wall have to go, too, since clients like to see nice clean walls. "But they're mine!" Zoe interjects. Ed's not too interested, muttering some placating words and calling her "cupcake."

Hey wait a minute! "Clients?" Lily asks, chasing him up the stairs. She's carrying Zoe on her hip, which aside from being an impressive physical feat, strikes me as rather odd. Isn't this kid a little big and old to be carried around like this? Ed keeps on chugging up the flight of stairs, explaining that he's not an appraiser, but a real estate agent. Just as Lily is about to explain that there's been a mistake, the front door slams, and Jake comes bounding down the hallway. Before Lily can say a word, Jake makes a preemptive strike, holding his palm in front of her face. I swear, I'd have bit him. But that's just me. Now they're all trooping after Ed the frumpy realtor. Jake wants to know what Ed thinks, and is unhappy with the number he hears. Ed informs him "[He's] not finished yet" as he shuffles out of the bathroom in search of more rooms to invade.

With Ed gone, Lily asks Jake what happened to the appraiser. "Five hundred dollars," is Jake's answer. A realtor does it for free. Lily points out that a realtor wasn't part of their agreement. Jeez these two have serious communication problems. Thankfully, Zoe interrupts this terse exchange to tell Jake that Ed is awful. She pouts and says that he wanted to take down her pictures and he called her cupcake. Jake takes her from Lily's arms -- yes, she's been carrying the kid around this whole time -- and carts her down the hallway, ignoring Lily and her concerns as he heads in search of Ed. Ever the hero, he promises Zoe that Ed will be gone in just five more minutes. Lily storms into the bedroom, then thinks better of leaving Jake alone with the realtor, and slams out of the room to find them.

Cut to a close-up of a very angry Lily fuming at Jake. "How about consulting me?" she wants to know, "How about giving me a little notice?" She looks appealingly to the mediator for support. Jake, slouched in his chair and looking very cocky, says "All right. I'm giving you notice -- I'll be back again tomorrow with somebody else." "Is this cooperation?" Lily asks the mediator. The mediator glances at each of them, then asks "Can [they] just try to articulate what each of [them] is saying?" Lily points out that they now have an estimate, which is all she agreed to, but Jake insists they need at least three, especially since Ed was an idiot. Lily and Jake begin talking over one another, vying for the mediator's validation. Jake tells Lily that she doesn't need to be there for the estimates and bitterly suggests that she "just go off with [her] boyfriend or something." Lily insists that she won't have strangers going through her house when she's not there, and Jake reminds her that it's "[their] house" since "[he] pays the bills, remember?" The statement sparks bickering over Jake's late mortgage payments, and he implies that she's over-reacting, as always. Lily points out that she agreed only to one appraisal, not three, and the mediator backs her up. Jake's voice is shaking as he enumerates the expenses involved with the mediation process and wonders why he's not entitled to be concerned about money. Fighting to hold his temper, he rubs his face and informs them that he may need to take a second mortgage to open the restaurant and keep everything afloat. He explains it very slowly, like he's talking to dimwitted baboons. He wants to know if they can try things his way to see if it works. Lily's no fool, though, and insists that she be allowed to set up the appointments. She also states that she doesn't want to come home one day to find a "for sale" sign on her lawn. "Oh!" Jake exclaims, saying it like there's a silent expletive on the end. He looks, for all the world, like a very tortured man. The mediator assures Lily that Jake cannot sell the house from under her, but it's clear that Lily still doesn't trust him. The mediator reads an excerpt of the law to Lily, while Jake sits in his chair pulling faces like an ape. The mediator asks Jake about his meeting with the accountant, and he admits he hasn't arranged one yet, immediately becoming defensive. He insists he called the guy, but the accountant wants a thirty-five hundred dollar retainer. The mediator informs him that the accountant is not a negotiable issue -- he has to have one. She says he can call now, from her office, "but then he'd be paying [her] to watch [him] make a phone call." Jake agrees he'll call the guy later.

Meanwhile, Rick and David are about to have an unpleasant encounter of their own. They're being shown to the client's office, an impressive, cavernous space decorated with tasteful minimalism. A sword is proudly displayed in the entrance. As Rick is about to place a finger on it, a voice from the back of the office proclaims "Twelfth century." We see a super-neat, tightly wound guy stepping toward them. It's Miles, formerly of Thirtysomething, resurrected to irritate characters on this show. He speaks of the sword's impressive qualities, including the fact that it was closely guarded and passed through thirty-two generations. He arrogantly uses the artifact as a symbol for his own contribution to the world -- corporate imaging. I bet the guy who spent five years of his life lovingly crafting the sword is just thrilled. Apparently having heard the sword spiel before, David recites for Rick the connection between Miles and the weapon, explaining that "Miles prides himself on being the cutting edge." Miles agrees, adding "But never rigid, mmm?" Rick, appropriately, looks like he smells rotten cheese.

After a brief exchange that sets the tone of this encounter -- that of a smug, iron-fisted teacher who suspects his students haven't done their homework -- Rick says he "gets the feeling that [Miles] is just looking for a more imposing design." Miles mockingly repeats the statement, adding a sarcastic "Aw shucks" at the end. He then questions why Rick thinks he wants an imposing design. Rick employs the tactic of the hopelessly unprepared -- flattery (also known as bullshitting). He clumsily tries stroking Miles' ego, but Miles sees through him like a cheap t-shirt and proceeds to give the architects a lesson in the psychology behind advertising. It works on shame, he claims, causing buyers to want a life better than the one they have. He wants his building to have the same effect on the executives who enter it. Rick suggests something modeled after the Reichstag and David looks mortified. Miles, however, rises to the challenge and agrees he wants "something like the Reichstag, but more user-friendly." "Third Reich with a little shabby chic" Rick quips. Miles' playfulness has run its very short course, however, and he suggests that maybe they feel "another firm would be better suited to the task." Rick claims that since they now understand the terms (translation: that they're dealing with a pompous ass), they can come up with something. Miles ends the meeting by letting them know that anything less than "astonishing" will not do. If only they could translate his ego to steel and glass, they'd have "awe," "dread," and "astonishing" covered.

Later that night, Eli's scrambling around trying to find Grace's phone number so he can ask her about the essay. He asks Rick, who is working in the room, if he knows the number off-hand. Before Rick can answer, Eli finds the number and gets Lily on the phone. She and Rick are clearly eavesdropping, so both Grace and Eli decide to switch phones, asking their respective parents to hang up when they tell them. In yet another parallel experience (the third, if anyone's counting), we're treated to close-ups of Rick and Lily twiddling the phone cord, swallowing hard, licking their lips, and staring intensely. Each seems to sense the other's presence but neither one can bring themselves to speak. The tension finally breaks when the kids simultaneously yell for them to hang up the phones. Lily is so distracted, she actually jumps.

As Grace and Eli discuss The Stranger, we watch Lily and Rick continue to live out their parallel realities. Rick settles at the top of a staircase and looks forlornly into space and, hey whattaya know, Lily's doing exactly the same thing in her little corner of the universe. Okay we get it already -- these little scenes are beginning to feel like the Twilight Zone meets Hallmark Presents.

Eli turns the conversation from the novel to his experience with divorce, saying that everyone expects him to act a certain way because his parents split up. Grace agrees and both comment on how hard it is to show their emotions about their parents' divorces. We get one last look at Lily and Rick in their matching his 'n' hers positions before fading gracefully to commercials.

As the Mannings get down to breakfast the morning, Lily starts fishing for some information. She asks if Grace is tutoring Eli that night and wonders what they talk about. Very subtle. Even through her cloud of teenage angst, Grace can see what Lily's up to, and she's not going to give her an inch. "We talk about The Stranger" she says. Lily tries to hide her disappointment.

Surprisingly -- okay, not really -- the same scene is unfolding in the Sammler household. Rick asks if Grace has mentioned how Lily is doing. Jessie points out that Eli's already answered him, like, three times. Eli remarks that it's English -- it's not like they're discussing Rick and "the Mom." yeah, that's right -- even their kids have parallel nicknames for them.

Meanwhile, back at the Manning ranch, Grace tells Lily that Eli didn't know she and Rick had split up. Lily is encouraged by the news and immediately starts prodding Grace for more, but Grace is trying to get the hell out of there because she's late for school. She opens the door to find three strangers standing on the stoop. They were about to ring the bell, but end up giving Grace a heart attack instead. It turns out to be a realtor with two clients. There must be some unwritten realtors' code, because this one barges in just like dumpy Ed did. Grace is freaked and shooting her mother the stink-eye while Lily tries to figure out who they are and what they want. Grace sarcastically smiles and waves before bailing, leaving Lily standing there in her pajamas wondering how to get the strangers out of her house.

Later in the day, Rick gets a call from Miles, who requests a meeting with him. Alone. The request is, characteristically, closer to a command, and Miles promptly hangs up after telling Rick to come by at four o'clock. Looking like a deer in headlights, Rick slowly sets down the receiver and then looks over his shoulder. I think it means he feels a little sneaky about going to see Miles without David.

Cut to Jake ranting in the mediator's office. It seems that Lily's turned his tactics back on his ass, and had an accountant show up unannounced at the restaurant. Of course, Jake can see no resemblance to his behavior toward Lily, since that would require pulling his head from his ass. Jake again insists that they can't afford to pay the accountant, but Lily shuts him up fast by saying she's paying for it. Ouch, that's hitting the big provider where it hurts, isn't it? Jake looks stricken for a moment before informing her that she's wasting her money. And the ugly truth finally starts to come out now that he's been backed into a corner. There's no money, he tells Lily. He actually looks like he's relishing this, like she asked for it because she finally found the chutzpah to take the issue into her own hands. He quickly runs down the values of the buildings, but they're canceled out by the mortgage and lien, essentially making them worthless. The restaurant is not theirs unless he finds some way to pay it off, which is why they have to sell the house.

Stunned, Lily demands to know what he's talking about. "Oh, grow up!" he responds. They have to sell the house to "save [his] stupid restaurant?" Lily asks. Jake towers over her, glowering and pointing, "It's our stupid restaurant" he shouts. Lily pours on the guilt on behalf of the kids, pointing out that the mess is one he created all by himself. He's not taking the blame alone, though, insisting that she approved of every step and signed her name to everything. "What choice did I have?" Lily snaps. Jake goes for the jugular, implying Lily's a spoiled little girl who's always relied on other people to take care of her. I get the impression that when things are working out, though, and Jake gets to sit in the hero's chair, he doesn't mind the financial dependence he's complaining about now. While he's ranting, Lily just keeps repeating she's "not going to sell the house" like it's a mantra. Seeing that she's stopped listening to him, "Ass-face," I mean "Jake," tries to mess with her head, telling her that she'll never make it without him taking care of her. When the two finally run out of steam, the mediator -- yes, she's been sitting here watching them the whole time -- tells them to take a moment to cool off while she goes pee yet again. I'm amazed Jake's not subtracting her many pee breaks from the cost of the sessions.

Cut to Eli and Grace in the tutoring room again, working on The Stranger. Eli mentions how weird the phone thing was the night before, and Graces agrees then asks what he means. Eli tells her Rick was listening to every little word, and Grace admits that Lily was too. Eli then asks who she thinks ended it, and she says it was definitely Rick. Eli says there's no way, but Grace is firm -- Lily's been in her "depressed clothes and jumping, like, a mile, every time the phone rings." Eli says Rick has been, too, in "his own Rick Sammler way." The two share a laugh at how completely gone their respective parents are.

Rick, meanwhile, is at Miles' office. Haunting Japanese woodwind music plays in the background while Miles carefully snips stalks from a plant like some kind of Zen master. Could this guy be more anal? (Don't get me wrong, I think he's a great character.) He admits that he misjudged Rick by assuming he couldn't be bright because he's "so rugged and handsome." Um, yeah. Creepy much? He goes on to explain that the two have a problem -- namely, he doesn't want to work with David. Rick makes clear his loyalty to David, and Miles puts on his psychoanalyst cap, pondering about the source of Rick's notions of loyalty. He finds them "quaint." When he learns that Rick is divorced, Miles wonders if Rick's loyalty to David stems from the betrayal of his wife. Ouch. Rick's not taking any crap from Miles today, though, and lets him know he's out of line. Miles agrees and flinchingly tells Rick that he thinks he's a very talented architect. He gives him his version of a pep talk, rhyming off the names of famous architects with buildings in their city and saying "We may never ascend to such heights, but let's reach, shall we?" He tells Rick he'd like an answer by the following day and leaves him standing there looking utterly confuzzled.

Eli and Grace are goofing around when Rick shows up to give Eli a ride. And, still flogging that parallelism, Lily walks into the classroom seconds later, through a door on the other side. Major awkwardness ensues, and Eli and Grace wisely duck out. Alone, Rick and Lily are incredibly tense, and to break the silence, Lily begins sputtering about The Stranger. Meanwhile, Grace and Eli are waiting just outside the door, eavesdropping. Eli asks Grace if she set up the whole tutoring thing as a way of getting their parents into contact again. He's wondering because he heard from some other girl that she was supposed to tutor him. Grace tells him Jennifer arranged the switch, and he asks why.

Black-and-white Grace is sitting on a stool covering her eyes and shaking her head at the great depths of male oblivion, as she voices over her opinion that "Boys are so naive. I mean, sometimes you have to wonder, like, how they even live."

Back in the hallway, Grace opens her eyes wide and says she has no idea. Eli says it must be because Jennifer thought Grace would be a better tutor, and then he tells her that she has been a good tutor and he's learned a lot. Grace looks genuinely happy to hear this compliment.

Inside the classroom, Lily is still rambling on with her synopsis of The Stranger. Rick's just standing there staring at her like he could give a rat's ass. When she finally pauses for breath, Rick jumps on the chance to get the hell outta there. He says he has to go, and Lily looks like she's been rebuked but then says she has to leave too. Simultaneously (of course), they each grab their kid's stuff and then exit through separate doors calling "Gracie?" and "Eli?" in unison. Each unit walks in opposite directions. Lily looks back, but Rick just keeps on truckin'.

Later that evening at the Sammler dinner table, Eli and Jessie are discussing the great tutor mystery while Rick stares into his plate like a big ol' puppy. They bring him back to reality and Jessie asks him what is the matter. He tells them it's a work thing, and that he has to go call David. Instead he goes to his room and cries. Hard. The moment is so honest that it actually penetrates my icy-cool veneer. Back at the table, Eli tells Jessie that they saw "the Mom" earlier and she says "Well, duh, no wonder."

The morning, Grace and Zoe exchange a look and then Grace asks Lily if Jake wants to sell the house. Lily fields this and several more questions, trying to reassure them, but the kids just keep on raising argument after argument. She explains that before they can split things up, they have to know what everything is worth. Grace wants to know how Lily's going to buy out Jake's half of the house if she has no money. Kapow. Lily snaps and barks, "We're not going to sell the house. Ever. Now eat!"

At the office, Rick passes David, who casually asks how the meeting went. His question stops Rick cold. He starts trying to explain, but David cuts him off, letting him know that he's not upset that Miles doesn't want to work with him (who would be, after all?). He's upset because Rick kept it from him, and he had no right to do that. Rick wants to know what the big deal is since the outcome will be the same either way. To drive home his point, David ventures into sacred territory -- Lily's cheating. He points out that Lily probably didn't think it would have any effect on her future relationship with Rick but she didn't have the right not to tell him, which would have taken away his right to judge for himself. Just as Rick doesn't have the right to judge outcomes on behalf of him. David walks away, leaving Rick to suck on that bitter lump.

Cut to Lily at the mediator's office waiting for Jake, who's late. Lily takes the opportunity to ask for advice on her situation. The mediator reminds her that she's not supposed to discuss the matter when one of the partners isn't there. But then she goes on to ask how serious Lily is about keeping the house. The mediator points out that if that's Lily's true goal, anger is the biggest obstacle. Lily needs to keep sight of her priorities and let go of the other things that anger her. Jake rushes in, asking what he missed. "Girl talk" the mediator tells him, and he says "Oh, good. My favorite kind." As he heads into the bathroom to wash up, he informs Lily that he's just come from a meeting with the contractor who holds the lien on the restaurant. They've worked out a schedule of payments that will allow him to open the restaurant, and he's flying on adrenaline. He tells her she'll be able to keep the house if she helps him out.

At that moment, Lily's cell phone rings and she answers it expecting to hear one of the kids. Instead, it's Rick. Lily tries to tell him it's a bad time, but he won't let her get in a word. He tells her he hasn't slept, he's put a lot of things together, and she needs to hear them. She's trying hard to sound distant so Jake doesn't figure out who's on the phone, but Jake is too busy inhaling an apple and looking impatient (like he wasn't the one who was late in the first place) to think about who's calling. Lily agrees to see Rick and says she'll call back in an hour.

Getting back to business, the mediator asks Lily how she feels about Jake's plan. Lily wants to know if he'll be able to make all the payments along with the mortgage. Jake assures her he will, but he'll be a little late with the mortgage this month, and Lily's all over him. The mediator actually jumps in this time and reminds Lily to stop and think about what's really important. Lily takes a moment and then says she needs to know Jake is telling the truth, and that he's committed to the mediation process. He promises that he is, and punctuates it by chomping a huge piece of apple.

Later that day, Lily is seated in a cozy little restaurant waiting for Rick. When he arrives, they make a bit of awkward small talk. He tells her Eli's essay is the best one he's ever written, and Lily takes a roll in some motherly pride. She admits she's nervous seeing him, but he tells her she doesn't need to be. They go through the whole "so you don't hate me?" exercise and Lily's thinking it's a done deal. Wrap him up, I'm taking him home. But not so fast -- Rick's on a different track. He tells Lily "the love was so right, but the timing was wrong," and then quickly redeems himself in my eyes by admitting that line was the corniest thing he's ever said. Lily clues in -- he's not looking for reconciliation, but closure -- and she tries to hang tough but doesn't quite make it. A couple little tears sneak out in spite of all the platitudes she's spouting.

A little while later, we see them heading toward her big-ass truck and they do the "So you have a nice life" routine. Both have tears in their eyes and, really, I could just scream "Oh drop the fake-ass civility already and just jump each other!" I mean, it's been painfully obvious for the past hour that they're parallel worlds are meant to collide, so just do it and let us all get on with our lives. Rick's swallowing back tears and looking fairly adorable through this whole encounter, though, so I guess I should just relax and enjoy the suffering a little longer. Actually, there's not long to wait. They go for one last "good-bye" kiss but of course that just brings all their hormones raging to the surface and, overcome, they lock lips again and passionately embrace. Rick whispers in Lily's ear that "[He] just can't let [her] go." "Thank God," Lily breathes. You know it sister.