Major thanks to Karen415, who offered me the use of her video collection and made possible the recapping of many early episodes, including this one. Since I'm recapping this episode after having caught the rest of the season, I won't bother pretending I don't already know the characters and their dynamics. Because I'm lazy like that, and because the damn confessionals pretty much spell it all out within the first four minutes.
The screen fades up to a shot of Lily's head, close-up and sideways on a pillow. She's got a faraway look in her eyes, as if there's more on her mind than the dread of dragging her ass into the morning. Her voice-over confirms it: "All I ever wanted, I think, was to be safe." Reluctantly, Lily rolls over and hauls herself out of bed. She then flops onto Grace's bed, where she bounces up and down and repeatedly asks, "Are you up?" I'd kill her.
In the meantime, Lily's voice-over resumes: "That's the funny thing. Because I never chose the safe thing." Right, like choosing the big house in the burbs and the massive SUV amounts to taking your life in your hands.
Cut to the first ever, big deal, arty-farty, black-and-white confessional sequence. It's kind of like that crap they pull on "reality" shows like The Real World. Can I just say that, after a season of these black-and-white spoon-feeding sessions, I'm a little sick and effing tired of them? They're like a joke that's funny the first time and downright annoying by the tenth. And by my count, we're hovering somewhere around four hundred and sixty-nine. Enough already. Anyway, black-and-white Lily picks up the thought she started in her voice-over, saying, "No matter how hard I'd try, it'd always end up unsafe." And that's it. Really, why even bother showing her if she's going to be on-screen for all of two seconds?
Lily emits a cavernous yawn. She's now sitting on the bed of Zoe, her younger daughter, and treating her to the Wake-Up Call From Hell by tickling her. Anyone ever tries that with me, and they'll be surgically removing my foot from their abdomen. Lily voice-overs: "My marriage was supposed to be safe -- until Jake got other ideas." Okay, in case you missed it, folks, that there's the line in the sand. By the end of the hour, you're expected to have your feet planted squarely on Lily's side.
Lily walks past a mantle loaded with family photos, and the camera sticks on a black-and-white shot of some doofus with a football. The camera zooms in and -- hey! -- it's Jake, only I almost didn't recognize him with that really bad '80s haircut, which I think is meant to look boyish but instead just screams Jerry Seinfeld. As the camera moves in, the photo springs to life, and we're treated to a little clip of the family playing football together on the front lawn. Why? I have no idea. I guess so we understand that they were happy not too long ago.
Cut to Lily standing in a bathroom that's bigger than my whole apartment. She's in front of a gleaming white pedestal sink (one of two), staring at herself and, I imagine, trying to figure out what the hell her life has become.
Rick, meanwhile, is straining toward consciousness in his bed on the other side of town. His alarm clock bleats, bleats, bleats, grating on my last nerve. Finally, he leans over to shut it off, and the camera catches a glimpse of the family pictures on the nightstand behind him. As he rubs his eyes, we hear his voice-over: "Am I happier now?" Who the hell is he talking to, anyway? Just who, exactly, is interviewing all the characters on this show? Whoever it is, Rick tells them to "ask [him] again in another three years." The camera pans back so we can see his whole bed, where his daughter is asleep to him. He places a hand on her head to wake her just as his son, Eli, walks into the room wearing a wifebeater and scratching his buzzed head. He asks Rick to take him to "mom's" so he can pick up the notes he forgot there.
Rick's first on-camera confessional: "I always had a map of my life, you know? Where I was supposed to be headed, and now...now...it's like I've walked off it entirely."
We see Rick's classic SUV pull up to the curb in front of Karen's house. She's waiting at the door with Eli's notes and hugs each of the kids while Rick looks on. Before she disappears in the house, Karen reminds Rick that they have an appointment at four o'clock the day. She doesn't smile, and neither does he.
Rick's confessing again: "By the time you get divorced, there's almost some relief in accepting that you failed. You're worthless, you've destroyed your kids' lives, and yet, there they are, and they need you. You have to move on."
Rick pulls up to the high school to drop off Eli. Beside his truck, Lily and her kids are in a shiny black Explorer. Rick catches a glimpse of Lily, and it quickly turns into a full-on stare. Somehow, he's never seen her there before, even though she drops off her kid five days a week. Inside the Explorer, Lily's zoning out on Grace's pubescent bitch-and-moan session which means, thankfully, we don't really hear any of it either. Although we get another black-and-white session with Lily instead, so I'm not exactly sure we're ahead. "So here I am," she says. "Only I don't know where 'here' is. I was supposed to be the happy homemaker. I was supposed to be angry that I was the happy homemaker. I saw the whole picture. I wasn't doing enough with my life, and I was happy not doing enough with my life because I was safe. And look at me." Which is pretty hard not to do, considering her perfectly made-up, beaming visage is filling my television screen. She hardly looks like a wreck to me. But I do sympathize with what's she's saying, as I now have several friends who are struggling with the whole "defining themselves as a mother" dilemma. It really bugs me that women are made to feel like they have to apologize for their choices and that there's this stigma attached to being a stay-at-home mom. But I digress. Lily surveys the high school driveway, where she's surrounded by lots of shiny happy people living their shiny happy lives. Watching them, Lily says she "wants to go back there." While scanning the hordes of smiling faces, Lily catches Rick staring at her. Their eyes lock for a moment or two before Lily looks away. Rick tugs his eyes off her, and Lily smiles to herself because she's getting checked out. She takes a second look at Rick as he begins to drive away.
Later that day, Lily and the girls are making dinner while Lily's sister, Judy, makes herself comfortable on the counter. Grace is gabbing away about a party coming up on the weekend. Lily asks the requisite parental questions, like will there be adults there, and Grace assures her that, even when the host's parents are home, they may as well not be. Okay, quick tip Grace: don't ever EVER say anything like that again if you have any hope at all of attending a function. Grace gets lucky this time, and Lily lets the comment slide. Grace tells Lily that it's not the kind of party where kids do drugs or anything, and then goes blundering into the realm of truth again, admitting that it is the kind of party where everyone "pairs off." Lily asks what that means. "Uh. They make out," Grace answers, looking mortified. Lily looks as if her ears are about to bleed, and Grace quickly tells her to forget about it. Judy gets all "tell me more, girlfriend," and says that she "made out when [she] was fourteen, but that [Lily] waited until she was married." I think she's kidding. Grace grows even more uncomfortable -- nothing like imagining your mother making out to make you want to swallow your own head -- and says she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Lily prods and pokes and pries, though, and Grace admits that she doesn't want to go to the party because she has last-one-left-on-the-playground anxieties. Lily reassures her that she won't be left out and then wonders, "What am I saying?" Exasperated, Grace complains, "Look at me! No one will want to make out with me. Why can't you just accept it?" Zoe -- who's nine, by the way -- pipes up that some boy said he'd make out with her. This news doesn't exactly thrill Grace. Lily takes another stab at boosting Grace's esteem, telling her that she's wrong about how she sees herself. Grace informs her that Jake understands and told her to go on a diet if she wants. Lily's about to grab her pitchfork and torch, but Grace insists that Jake didn't tell her to diet. Lily asks about her soccer game the day. Grace informs her that Jake will be there, perhaps as a means of warding off Lily.
Grace leaves to change her sweater, which has somehow become grossly uncool in the past four minutes, and Judy suggests, "Maybe if [Grace's] mother started dating, she'd have a better opinion of herself." I don't really see the logic in that, but whatever. I think Judy's oh-so-subtle point is that Lily needs to get out more. "Oh, thank you, Judy," Lily snipes as she punches the buttons on the cordless phone. "Jake!" she shouts into the mouthpiece. "Did you tell Gracie to go on a diet? Well, that's what she said." Actually, it isn't what Grace said, but it's a pretty good excuse to pick a fight. Lily's about to launch into a lecture but then stops herself and says they can discuss it at the soccer game. She gestures wildly, and it's obvious that Jake has asked what soccer game she's referring to. She snipes that it's the "soccer game. Tomorrow. Where you promised you'd be, like, a week ago." After a pause, Lily snaps that he can "come or tell [Grace he's] not coming. [She] doesn't want to be caught in the middle of this again." So apparently Jake makes ditching his kids a bit of a habit. Lily stabs the phone to disconnect Jake and then tells Judy he had no idea there was a game. Judy dryly observes, "He's a busy man. Orgies. Weekends in Vegas." Lily rolls her eyes.
The afternoon, Rick's truck pulls up to the high school amid the shouts and whistles of the aforementioned soccer match. The camera pans from him to the field and then focuses on Lily, who's standing on the sideline and cheering for Grace. I'd like to point out that she doesn't have a particularly pleasant yelling voice, but she does look fetchingly sporty in her little "New York" hoodie and track pants. And don't you think that Rick doesn't notice. Somehow, he picks her voice out of the crowd, even though he's never heard it before, and he stares at her appreciatively.
This delicious little moment is interrupted when someone fouls Grace, sending her down hard on her ankle. Lily and the coach rush onto the field and lead Grace off.
Inside the school, Rick and Eli are seated on a bench, waiting in what appears to be an outer office. It can only mean a date with the principal. Lily and the coach lead a hobbling and thoroughly self-conscious Grace into the waiting area. The coach conveniently heads off-screen while Lily fusses over Grace. Seeing Eli watching her humiliation, Grace looks like she'd rather just chew off the bad ankle and get the hell outta there. Lily and Grace take the seats to the boys, and Rick sees his big chance. He leans across Eli and asks Grace if it's her ankle. He scoots in front of her and crouches over the injured leg, telling her that the most important thing is to get it elevated and put ice on it. Grace lowers her head and looks up at him through her eyelashes. He keeps asking her questions, and she blushes and wonders if he's a doctor. He laughs and says no, he's just injured his own ankle "a million times." The nurse calls Grace into her room, and Lily follows. Rick and Eli assume the waiting position again. Eli restlessly tosses and catches a basketball, just so we all know he's a jock.
Lily emerges from the nurse's office, smiles tensely, and takes her seat. Rick leans across again and tells her not to "listen to the doctors -- she'll walk again." They both chuckle heartily. Lily tells him that her kids aren't too big on stoicism and then adds that she doesn't really have any, either. Quite possibly, the understatement of the millennium. Rick assures her that it's a useless virtue. Wait 'til you've spent some time with her, pal. Somehow their scintillating conversation fails to capture Eli's interest, and he dully informs Rick that he's going out "to shoot some hoops until mom gets here." An awkward moment ensues after he leaves, and Rick breaks it by saying, "And that one. He could use a bit less. Stoicism." He tells Lily that Eli's failing two classes and "forgot" to tell them. "You and your wife must've been thrilled about that," Lily says, casting her line. "Ex-wife," Rick says, snapping up the bait. He says that his ex "blames [Eli's problems] on the divorce. She blames global warming on the divorce." Lily chuckles again and says, "Maybe she's right." What? What does that mean?
We've no time to ponder, however, as Jake rushes importantly into the office, loudly demanding to know where Grace is. And cracking me up with that stupid haircut, which apparently wasn't just a historical effect for the flashback. Thank god that 'do went the way of the "living memories" bullshit, too, and won't be seen on another episode. Lily stands up and starts to tell him where Grace is, but he just blows right past her. Grace comes rushing out of the nurse's office, apparently not too crippled to go running into daddy's arms. Lily turns and shoots Rick a look like, "See? Do you see what I have to put up with?" He rewards her with a sympathetic expression. Gracie continues playing sucky wiff daddy, who leads her back into the nurse's office. Rick tells Lily, "Your daughter looks like your husband." Sure, except for the hair, eyes, and every other feature, she's the splitting image of Jake. "Ex-husband. Sort of," Lily says before disappearing into the nurse's office. Rick looks particularly elfin as he grins to himself and stares after her. Ricky likey.
The mood changes pretty quickly as we cut to the principal's office, where Eli, Rick, and Karen are seated across the desk from the woman. She smiles and tells Eli that his reading problem is such a common one, and he's already made such progress, that she sees his current grades as a minor setback. She's sure he can overcome it with a little extra effort. Eli admits that he "just gets a little distracted." The principal asks about the custody arrangement, and Karen and Rick start to speak at once. They laugh nervously and then Karen explains that Rick has the kids on weekends and one night through the week, and she has them the rest of the time. The principal inquires whether they stay on top of Eli's homework, but she focuses her attention on Rick, which I think is a little sexist. Rick says that he and Eli have a "great relationship. [They] communicate really well." The pole in Karen's ass starts to splinter, and she speaks up to say, rather condescendingly, that they do "on most subjects." Like she's an authority on what they talk about when she's not around. Rick, showing signs of strain, insists, "No, we really understand each other. He and I have our own bond." Karen leans down from her high horse to explain to the principal that "Rick is very involved with Eli, and that's great, but it's easy for things to slip by, that's all." It's interesting how she doesn't think things slip by her, especially considering she didn't know that Eli was failing, either. Rick is adamant that the "important" things don't slip past him, but Karen insists that yes, even the important things do. As they wage their little pissing contest and hurl their verbal grenades, the principal's head swivels between them like she's watching a dysfunctional tennis match. Somehow they think they're pulling off "civil" because they're sporting tightly clenched smiles. The principal steers the conversation back to Eli, asking him if he's willing to put the "distractions aside" and do the extra work that's needed. Eli says he hopes it doesn't mean he has to give up sports. Rick puts a hand on Eli's shoulder, saying he doesn't think that's what it means. Karen leans across Eli like she's going to peck Rick and snaps, "I think whatever it takes, we have to do it." Rick looks stung, as if she actually did peck him. Karen tells Eli, "It's not your job to see the big picture" and, sending Rick the stink-eye, adds, "But your parents have to." In the midst of this verbal spanking, Rick gets sucked into a grainy, super-eight flashback of him and Karen making hot, sweaty monkey love. There are so many horrific elements I don't even want to get into it, but I do have to say that the Rickster and the shag do not mix well. Meanwhile, the principal says it's too early to tell if Eli will have to give up sports. Jarred back to reality, Rick catches himself staring at Karen like he's never seen her before. Granted, she does seem like a totally different person than the one in the '70s sex capsule. He looks away uncomfortably, and Karen casts her eyes to her lap. She almost seems to sense what was going through his mind a moment ago.
Cut to Rick's kitchen, where Jessie is leaning against the counter, flipping through a magazine. Rick walks in with bags of take-out and asks where Eli is. Jessie matter-of-factly informs Rick that Eli is "upstairs with Jennifer. They're having sex in his room." "Stop that!" Rick says playfully before asking who Jennifer is. Jessie says she's Eli's girlfriend. One more thing that "slipped past," apparently. Rick asks what happened to Megan and then calls Eli. Rooting through the bag of food, Jessie asks if Rick got any vegetables. "I told you I'm a vegetarian," she says. "Meat. Is good for you," Rick says in a weird Frankenstein-y voice as he picks Jessie up and turns her upside-down. In the same weird voice, he orders her to "Set the table. Get the silverware." Still upside-down, Jessie fumbles with the drawer without much success. Eli and Jennifer come in. Jennifer tells Rick that Eli's told her all about him. "Did he tell you I'm mean? That he's got work to do?" Rick asks. But he doesn't sound mean. The pair insists that Eli's finished his work, and Rick believes them. Jennifer continues kissing ass, telling Rick that she loves his apartment. Jessie pipes up that they're still trying to get him to unpack the boxes because "it's only been three years." Eli complains that Jessie stole his Pearl Jam CD and they wrestle playfully. Rick, with studied nonchalance, asks if "that girl, the one hurt on the soccer field today" is okay. "Grace Manning?" Eli responds. "Yeah, she's okay. She was totally faking." Jennifer says that she likes Grace. Rick's flipping through a booklet while they talk, and Eli asks who Rick's going to call. Rick says it's to do with the parents' association. "You're gonna go out on a date with the mom? 'Cause she's really hot," Eli says. What a hormone. "What are you talking about?" Rick asks, taking a really weak stab at innocence. "What mom?" Jessie wants to know. Eli asks again, "Are you going to go out with Grace's mom? Because that is so cool." Rick says no and stumbles and bumbles around his reason for calling Lily, which ostensibly is to find out whether Grace is okay.
Cut to Lily's kitchen, where Jake and his goofy hair are resting comfortably on the counter. He's quizzing Zoe about state capitals while Lily prepares dinner. As Lily passes him, she mutters that she thinks he should go. He leans in with a smirk and says, "I think I should stay." Thankfully -- or not -- Lily does not have a knife in her hand. The phone rings, and Jake hands the cordless to Lily. "Is this Elizabeth?" Rick's voice asks. "Lily, yes." He reminds Lily that he's the guy from the school office.
I wonder if Lily's happy to hear from him? Or if she feels weird talking to him with her estranged husband sitting not two feet away? Thank god the writers anticipated this curiosity. They've thoughtfully set up another interview with Lily so there's no danger of us missing the point by relying solely on Sela's acting abilities. "Oh!" exclaims black-and-white Lily as she covers her face girlishly. "I didn't want him to call!" She adds that she thought about him all afternoon, but she's not ready. "Not ready," she repeats. I'm not sure, but I think maybe Lily's not ready for this.
Back to the phone conversation. Rick says he's calling to see if her daughter is okay. "That's so nice," Lily says. "Yeah. She's fine." Grace's ears prick up, and she wants to know who is on the phone. It's mommy's new boyfriend, sweetie. Shut up and mind your own damn business.
Rick, meanwhile, is scrunched up in a ball on his staircase. Presumably, he's hiding out from his kids, so they won't figure out he's not really calling Lily to ask about Grace. He's totally sweating the conversation and keeps putting his fingertips to his forehead after every comment he makes.
Jake assumes that Lily is talking to someone from the school, and says loudly that he thinks they should sue. Dude, Lily's trying to score -- keep it down! Zoe pipes up to ask if Grace is in trouble. Lily continues her struggle to have a normal conversation without revealing to the buttinsky brigade who she's talking with.
Rick gets to his feet and screws up his face and his courage. He stammers out an invitation for coffee. Close-up of his fingers drumming nervously against the wall. Close-up of his toes bouncing and shuffling in their little white tube socks. Tube socks!
Lily puts her hand to the side of her face and looks frozen. Grace, still hovering around her shoulder, asks again who's on the phone. She's rude. By the time Rick has stuttered "cup of coffee," Lily's face has broken into a huge smile. And, of course, the peanut gallery has upped its ruckus in the background. Jake says he wants to talk to the school, Grace keeps asking who it is, and Zoe knocks over something on the counter. The chaos attains new heights. Standing in the midst of the frenzy, Lily listens as Rick asks, "Would that be weird?" The noise level intensifies in the kitchen, and Grace shoves her ear to the receiver in a maddeningly unsubtle attempt to eavesdrop, so Lily makes some completely unrelated comment to throw the little snoop off the scent: "Yeah, thanks for calling. If there's anything, we'll call."
Rick looks crestfallen rather than confused. He slowly pulls the phone away from his ear and stares at it as if it's a foreign object.
Grace asks Lily if she's in trouble. No, but you should be.
Black-and-white Rick admits he "never really dated much after the separation. [He] was too afraid of rejection." And the latest experience did wonders to alleviate that fear, no doubt. Ouch.
Cut to Rick and the kids sitting around the dinner table eating Chinese take-out. Rick is quiet and pokes disinterestedly at his food. The phone rings, and Rick picks up the cordless, which is right to him. It's Lily. She apologizes for blowing him off earlier and tells him that things were crazy. She then says she'd "love to..." "Have dinner?" Rick finishes. Oooh, Mr. Sammler, you're a smoothie after all. Lily agrees and asks what his schedule is like. She's grinning hugely. Rick, too, is smiling uncontrollably as he says, "It's, uh, pretty open right now." Well, golly, that's sure lucky.
The time we see Rick, he's at his office, going over building plans with his partner, David. He's muttering questions and making suggestions about the design. David loudly cuts through all the shop talk: "You know what happens to women after they have kids, don't you?" Rick maintains his architectural train of thought. David is undeterred, answering his question himself: "They become sexually conservative." Thank you, oh great and wise sexual pedant. Rick speaks fully on my behalf, informing David that he's "so full of crap." He then switches back to work mode. David explains his "logic," saying, "They've got to be grown-ups and forget about all the wild times they had before." Hey David? Shut up. I seriously question whether a "grown-up" would ever be foolish enough to date, let alone jump into bed with, a narrow-minded little pig like you, so you can't possibly know what you're talking about. Rick informs David that mothers are "better sexually. Fool. And you've never even gone out with a mother." Aha! I knew it! "Why would I want to go out with a mother?" David asks with distaste. "It took me twenty years to get away from my own." And she must be so proud...
Cut to Lily, sitting at a desk and typing on a keyboard. Judy rolls her wheeley office chair to Lily's and looks her up and down before asking, matter-of-factly, "When do you think you'll sleep with him?" Lily abruptly stops typing.
Cut to Grace walking down a school hallway with a couple of friends. Grace announces that her mother has a date that night. She looks like she has a mouthful of turds. "Oh, god!" says one of her friends before launching into a description of the tortuous ritual that is her own mother's social life: "My mother dates, like, six times a week. And they're all fat and gross." "She makes you meet them?" "She makes a whole fetish out of it." Sweetie, I don't think "fetish" is the word you were going for. At least, I really hope it's not. Grace wants to know why the mothers can't "keep their private lives private without dragging innocent bystanders in." "Innocent bystanders." That's cute. It conveniently overlooks all the active eavesdropping and nosying around Grace employs. Eli and his buddies cruise past in the opposite direction. Grace and her friends turn to watch them pass, their freshman eyes brimming with adulation. Eli turns back to look at Grace. The maternally tortured girl wants to know how Grace knows Eli. Grace says she doesn't. "All right Grace!" her friends exclaim, seeming not to hear her. The freshman pack starts to walk away, and Grace stumbles against the tortured girl because she's too busy staring at Eli to watch where she's going.
Black-and-white Lily's back, smiling coyly. "Oh, I wasn't going to go. I was gonna cancel." Ri-ight.
Cut to Lily, frantically pacing back-and-forth between her closet and her mirror in a desperate search for something to wear with her skirt. She wisely dismisses the bulky sweater and moves on to other shirts. Grace is lying on Lily's bed with Zoe, watching her mother and complaining. She wants to know why Lily can't take her cell phone on the date. Lily says she isn't to going to have her cell phone sitting on the table. (It has been a while since she's been out.) Zoe wants to know why not. Then Grace says she doesn't think it's fair that she has to look after "her," gesturing toward Zoe. Lily points out that Grace doesn't mind watching Zoe when Lily is out with Judy. Grace tries another tack: "Are you wearing that skirt?" before adding, "I do mind when you go out with Judy. I have anxiety attacks when we're here alone." Melodramatic, much? Dancing to her puppet-master's tune, Lily is immediately concerned, and Grace elaborates that she's "scared robbers are going to break in...that they're going to terrorize" her and Zoe. Lily assures Grace that no one is going to break in, and Grace retorts, "You know that for sure?" Lily tells Grace that she's just going out on a date, not getting "remarried." Zoe tells her that she'd better not get remarried. "She can't," Grace snipes, raising her voice and looking pointedly at Lily. "She's not divorced yet." Grace then goes on to say that she thinks she should start dating before Lily does. But, sweetie, I don't think your mom wants to wait for hell to freeze over. Lily asks who's stopping Grace from dating. "Nobody's asking me," Grace says. With your sunny disposition? I can't believe it. Lily throws up her hands and flops on the bed to the girls. "Mommy's really nervous, okay?" she says. "Mommy's going out of her mind." Mommy's speaking in third-person, so just back away with no sudden movements, okay? Lily asks them to give her a little bit of support, and the girls laugh and hug her. Grace, of course, has to ruin the moment by saying, "Just please don't have sex with him, okay?" Lily shrieks.
Black-and-white Lily says, "My mom says I was a very good baby. I never cried, and I never fussed. I was a really nice girl, you know?" Okaaay. I guess we'll just have to trust that this remark is somehow relevant.
Cut to Lily and Rick in the restaurant, getting settled at their table. Lily places her cell phone on the table, saying "kids" by way of explanation. Rick, digging into his pocket and plunking down his own phone, says, "I see you. And I raise you." He asks how badly her kids tortured her. "Pretty bad," she says with a smile. She then asks about his. "Oh, they're pretty used to it by now. They just asked if you were older than twenty-five or not," Rick says, straining his lips around his mouthful of foot. Lily's smile sticks and she gives Rick a look like, "Huh?" She asks, "So is that how old most of your dates are?"
Black-and-white Rick feels this is an appropriate moment to interrupt. He says, "The worst thing is when you get good at dating, like it's an art form rather than something real happening." From what we're seeing, Rick, I don't think you've got to worry about that.
Back at the restaurant, Lily is talking about her sister. These confessionals are like alien abductions, aren't they? When we return from one, we never know how much time has passed, or where we'll find ourselves. Lily's talking about her sister, and...that's all we see, actually, before we cut back to black-and-white Rick. He's still waxing about the whole dating process: "You say the same thing about yourself thirty times, and it starts to feel like a lie, even when it's the truth." Okay, back to the restaurant again. Rick tells Lily that his two brothers are still in Kansas. He and Lily reach for their wineglasses with the desperation of drowning people clutching at anything that floats.
Black-and-white Lily decides to take up the slack in the conversation. She tells us that Judy always fought with their parents, and she was always the peacemaker. I have no idea what this latest tidbit is related to. Maybe it's the result of all that wine Lily's been downing.
And, we're back to the restaurant again. Lily's ordering her dinner and making a bizillion requests and substitutions. Yeah, she's not difficult at all. When she's finally finished making the waiter nuts, Lily looks at Rick and says, "Sometimes I listen to myself and think I am just so boring." Ah, it is such a rare moment when Lily and I actually agree on something. "I was just thinking that," Rick says, but he's kidding. Lily swats at his arm. "What's wrong with liking what you like?" Rick asks. "I don't know. When I was a kid, I just ate whatever was put in front of me. And maybe I was happier." I doubt it. My parents used to try and feed my things like beets and squash and liver and, let me tell you, it did not make me happy.
With a tear in her eye, black-and-white Lily says, "I just don't know where I fit in my life anymore. And I'm scared."
Back to dinner. The wine seems to have taken effect, finally. Rick is laughing as Lily describes her experience giving birth to Zoe, which I'm pretty sure is an entirely inappropriate topic for first-date conversation, or for any other conversation taking place in the presence of food (yes, I'm squeamish, why do you ask?). She laughingly recalls how Jake and the doctor got into an argument because Jake ran out of battery for the video camera and told her not to push until he got back.
"And I'm like, 'Don't do it! Don't do it!" we hear Rick say. Yeah, I didn't want her to finish that story, either. Oh, black-and-white Rick explains that he's referring to his impulse to kiss Lily while she was talking.
Back to the Inappropriate Dinner Hour, where Rick is regaling Lily with the tale of his divorce. He says he fears the effects the divorce will have on his kids. Waiter, another bottle of wine! Lily tells him that he couldn't stay married if he was miserable. He replies that people do it all the time. Lily asks if he thinks carrying all this guilt around is good for his kids. Good point. Rick says he's not like this most of the time -- most of the time, he's happy he's out of the marriage.
Later, we find Rick and Lily standing outside the restaurant. They're between their his 'n' hers SUVs, which are parked side-by-side, and are awkwardly struggling through the date wrap-up. While Lily searches for something to say, Rick leans in and kisses her. They stand for a moment, forehead-to-forehead, and mutter things that let us know they don't want to say goodnight. Lily finally tears herself away, and as she drives off, Rick stands there, watching her.
At home, Zoe and Grace are sitting in the kitchen. Lily wants to know why Zoe is still up. Grace demands to know where Lily was, and why she didn't have her phone on. Lily says she had her phone the whole time and it didn't ring once. She asks what is the matter. Grace starts crying -- but with no tears, I'd like to point out -- and says she just got really scared; she heard noises outside. The whole thing looks pretty damn fake to me, and besides, if Grace were truly frightened, why didn't she call Jake? Lily fawns over Grace and apologizes. Mollified, Grace asks if Lily had a good time. Lily says she did and Grace asks, with a worried look, "Are you gonna marry this guy?" Lily points out that she just met him. "Yeah, but you really like him," Grace counters. "No, I don't even know him," Lily says, struggling to be cool. But she's giddy, and while trying to convince the girls of her nonchalance, she knocks over a few things on the counter. Grace knows what's going on. Zoe says, "I don't want you to marry anybody but daddy." Lily insists, "I'm not marrying anybody, including daddy." She scoops up Zoe and carries her off to bed.
The day, Grace and her friends pass Eli on the stairs. At the top, he turns and calls, "Grace!" She's startled. Grace and the girls stand open-mouthed while Eli tells her about a party coming up on the weekend. He encourages her to go and promises that he'll introduce her around. He walks away, and Grace's friends erupt into giggles. "Eli. Sammler. Oh. My. God," they swoon. Can I just say that you could never pay me enough to be fourteen again?
Cut to Lily at her desk. Judy's wheeling around on her office chair again. This time another woman, Naomi, is with them. She's seated in a chair in the corner. The three are drinking beer while Judy and Naomi try to get some dirt on the date. They pelt Lily with questions about kissing and "clothes coming off" until poor, beleaguered Lily shouts, "Stop!" Clenching her fists, she says she's never going to see Rick again because their schedules conflict too much. She says it took them ten minutes to figure out the time they're both free. Judy gently -- patronizingly -- reminds Lily that "Grace isn't six anymore. You can go out whenever you want." Lily explains Grace's anxiety attacks and then says it's not fair for her to date when Grace is in turmoil over boys and her self-esteem. Naomi suggests that Lily get a babysitter. Lily says that Grace would be insulted. In unison, Judy and Naomi screech, "Li-LEE!" Judy then asks, "Who runs your house, anyway? What do you want to do, sit here like a nun until [Grace] decides to get over it?" Lily makes more excuses, and Judy makes it clear that she's not buying any of them. From the corner, Naomi sensibly asks why Lily doesn't get Jake to take the girls when Lily wants to go out. Lily can't even get her head around the concept at first, but Judy and Naomi finally manage to convince her that it's a sound idea. Lily picks up the phone and calls Jake. She's stunned speechless when he agrees to take the girls.
Cut to Rick's kitchen. Eli, closing the fridge door, asks, "So, are you going to see that mom again?" Rick says tomorrow night. Eli pronounces it "so cool." Rick addresses the homework situation and tells Eli that they'll start "this thing" together, and then Eli's going to finish it, and they'll go over it in the morning. They chat about Jennifer for a moment, and Eli says, "Isn't she nice? And her body is just amazing. Did you see how you could just wrap your hands around her waist?" Thankfully, Rick says no, he didn't notice that. Eli announces that Jennifer is good for him, and she doesn't look down on him for getting tutored. Rick takes his cue and gives Eli a pep talk, saying that no one will look down on him, and he shouldn't think of himself as "stupid." Eli gets distracted by a football game on the small countertop TV. Rick gives the kid a couple of taps to snap him out of it. Eli says he just needs to check the score. Rick insists that he doesn't. "One minute, okay?" Eli begs. Rick, sighing, says, "One minute." He tells Eli to get his textbook and, looking at the cover, says, "Oh, World War II. I'm an expert on this." Eli doesn't really care, since he's glued to the football game. Rick puts the book in front of Eli, commanding him to read. Eli starts reading aloud, somewhat haltingly, and pauses a lot to glance at the TV. The team makes a good play, and Rick and Eli forget all about the homework. Uh-oh. Karen's not going to like this one bit.
Cut to a montage of fun, as Lily and Rick take on the bowling alley. Lily, I guess, is supposed to look adorable as she tries, rather unconvincingly, to bowl. When the montage ends, we find the pair making out in Rick's car.
Black-and-white Lily says, "I thought it was the end of it when he asked me to go bowling."
Clearly, that's not the case, as we cut back to them groping and groaning in the truck. Lily reads my mind and exclaims, "Oh! This is like high school!" They try to figure out where they can continue their panting and pawing. Lily remembers that her kids are out with Jake, so they decide to go to her place. Lily hedges a little, though, worrying about where things are headed since it's only their first date (and, as we learn, she's a third-date kinda gal...oops, spoiler!). Lily shares that she hasn't had sex with anyone other than Jake in a long time. Rick assures her that they don't have to sleep together. They can "do other things." This really is like high school! Lily interprets Rick's statement: "Which means we'll end up sleeping together." Rick continues to insist that they don't have to.
Back at her place, Lily and Rick are standing side-by-side in the kitchen, jackets on, and gulping wine. Lily's purse is still on her shoulder. I get the sense that they're uncomfortable or something. Rick puts down his glass, then hers, and they start kissing.
Cut to them on the couch, still kissing.
Black-and-white Lily tells us, "I thought another man's body would feel strange, and...it did. But I was more surprised by my own body, and how much I wanted him."
On the couch, Rick starts unbuttoning Lily's shirt and then slides it off her shoulders. As they stare deeply into one another's eyes, his hands rest lightly on her collarbone, and they lean toward each other and...
The font door flies open behind them. Lily scoots to the floor, scrambling to pull her shirt closed and button it as the kids barrel in with Jake. Rick pops up off the couch and spins to look at them. The members of Bad Timing Incorporated realize what they're looking at, and they freeze. "Excuse me?" Jake says, all indignant in his bad hair and leather jacket. They all ask each other what they're doing there. Grace, of course, starts freaking out, acting like she's about to go into conniptions, and saying, "I can't believe this is happening." Zoe starts asking, "Who's he?" Rick figures it's probably a good time for him to be going. Grace keeps insisting it's NOT okay. Rick slips out the front door with a mouthed "Sorry!" from Lily. As quiet finally settles, Zoe points out that Lily missed a button. Wah wah.
Later, Jake and Lily are alone in the living room. He's leaning against the doorway and says, cockily, "Well, he's not bad looking." In a whispered yell, Lily reminds him that she asked him to take the girls out and demands to know why he brought them back. He says Grace forgot a book and said she'd rather work at home, anyway. Lily informs Jake that Grace has anxiety attacks when she's home alone, but Jake doesn't buy it. He insists that Grace said she'd be fine and to just drop off her and Zoe at home. He adds that he had a "meeting" at ten. "At ten?" Lily questions, snidely. "Oh, is that what they're calling it these days?" Oh, burn! "Is she twenty-two with big tits?" she demands. Yes, I rewound the tape three times to make sure I had actually heard that correctly. Jake reminds Lily that she "sent them to [him] because [she] didn't want to deal with [them]." Lily asks when was the last time she sent the kids to him. She gripes that she asked for it once, and he couldn't even do that. She brings up Grace's anxiety attacks again and says that Grace wanted to come home because she'd rather be alone there than at Jake's place. Jake wants to know how he was supposed to know that. "Well, if you'd listen to her, you'd know," Lily snaps. Jake accuses Lily of encouraging neurotic behavior in the kid, saying maybe Grace is just copying the example Lily sets. Lily snipes, "Right. Everything's my fault. I made you sleep with those twenty-two-year-olds." Jake shouts, "Yes! Yes! Is that what you want to hear? Then all right, YES!" Lily whispers for him to "shut up" and points towards the kids' rooms upstairs. She tells him he should leave because she wants to talk to Grace. "Well, she's fine when she's with me, so maybe it's you," Jake says meanly. "Maybe you should think about that." With whispered rage, Lily tells him to "get out." Jake says goodnight, calls out a goodnight to the girls, and struts out the front door.
Cut to Lily flopping onto Grace's bed. Grace wants to know why Lily didn't tell her who "he" was. She and her friends thought "the guy's son" liked her because he talked to her in the hall. Crying, Grace adds that now she finds out why he talked to her, and she "has to deal with him because he might be [her] step-brother." Lily says there's "nothing to worry about, after tonight." "You think so?" Grace asks hopefully.
Cut to a café, where Rick is waiting for Lily. When she arrives, she immediately tries to back out of things with him because it's "too soon. [She's] not ready for it. Grace isn't ready for it." She tells him that he doesn't "want to be somebody on the rebound," which really perks him up. Rick asks if that's what she thinks this is. She says no. She wishes it could be different, but the timing is off. She insists that he's not the problem. Rick asks, "Do you understand that what happened between us doesn't happen that often?" Yeah, because most people change the locks when their exes move out. Lily says she knows it's special. "And you would walk away from it?" Rick asks. Lily looks thoughtful. Rick looks pained.
Cut to Lily driving away. It seems that she would walk away from it, and she just did. Rick stands on the corner and watches her go. The camera pans all the way back, so we can see how small and alone he is without Lily.
"Totally naked or something," David says, pulling us off the street and into Rick's office. The two of them are sitting there, and Rick stares off while David spews his crap: "And then she says, 'I'm sort of an exhibitionist. Does that bother you?' Twice in one week, I've got girls asking me to watch them. I mean is that some kind of societal trend?" It could be, but I doubt that most of us consider strip clubs, which is where I'm sure David spends most of his time and makes most of his acquaintances, to be "society." Before David can prod a response out of Rick, the receptionist pops her head in to announce that Karen is there. David's reaction makes it clear he thinks she's a ball-buster. But still, he gives her a big fake hi-hi greeting before leaving them alone. Karen tells Rick that Eli failed his test. She then accuses him of not making Eli work. She says she doesn't think Rick wants to acknowledge that Eli has a problem. Rick gets all defensive, and things look like they're about to escalate, but Karen defuses it early by telling Rick that he's a great father, and he doesn't want to see that "their wonderful son, with a thousand wonderful qualities, has a problem. And if [they] don't address it, [Eli's] going to be the one to suffer." Rick looks as if some of her speech has gotten through.
Later that night, Rick, the kids, and Jennifer are sitting around the table. Rick interrupts the kids' conversation to say that he has to talk to Eli alone. When Jessie and Jen leave, Rick tells Eli that his girlfriend has to go home. He cuts through all of Eli's excuses until Eli finally admits that she is a bit "distracting."
Meanwhile, Lily's helping Zoe with her homework. Grace walks past them, and Lily asks why she's not getting ready. Grace says she's not going. To the make-out party, remember? Lily, concerned, follows Grace to the staircase. Grace's low self-esteem comes screaming out, and Lily at first tries to diffuse it with a little humor. Grace just gets more aggravated. She gets all teary and says, "I'm not pretty. I weigh too much. And I do not want to subject myself to that humiliating situation." Lily puts her hands over her face and tells Grace that it pains her to her Grace talk about herself that way. Grace tells her it's her problem, not Lily's, and she can't go to the party feeling like she does. Lily switches to a pep talk, telling Grace that it's a chance to meet people. Grace gets touchy again. Lily sits to her on the stairs and tells her she's not "the miscreant ugly person [she] puts [herself] out to be. [She's] a beautiful, intelligent, amazing girl who has so much to offer anyone." Lily adds that she's "not going to let [Grace's] fear dominate [Grace] or [their] house anymore." She tells Grace that everyone is afraid, but "fear can be your friend." Grace says, "Yeah, it makes me throw up." "No, duh, it tells you you're alive," Lily says. She tells Grace that she spent too many years being afraid, and she won't let Grace make the same mistake.
Cut to black-and-white Rick describing the effects his father's death had on him. Rick was only fourteen, and the loss caused him to retreat into himself and become totally self-sufficient. Then he met Karen, and for some reason, he came out of himself. He could "let [himself] need her" and when he "messed things up with [her], he figured he'd just meet someone else. But it's been three years, and [he's] still alone." He switches to a voice-over as we watch a montage of Rick going through mundane daily rituals all alone. A sad guitar plays in the background. Rick says that he's "scared sh--...uh, so terrified of being alone. [He] feels like, when someone else recognizes that, [he] can't imagine why they'd still want [him]."
Cut to Lily putting Zoe to bed. See, that quick cut is meant to show us that Lily would want Rick, even if he is scared and messed up. Awww. The moment is quickly contaminated as -- horror of horrors -- Jewel starts to "sing." Cut to Lily walking down the sidewalk in broad daylight -- what time does Zoe go to bed? --and engrossed in deep thoughts.
Cut to Rick in his bedroom. The phone rings, and I think we can see where this is going, can't we? It's Lily. Cut to Rick outside the scene of the breakup. Lily approaches, and they stand on the sidewalk smiling at one another and looking like models from a J. Crew catalog. Jewel finally, thankfully, shuts the hell up.