Valentine's Day comes two weeks early in Newport, much to everyone's chagrin. Because Valentine's Day always sucks. Summer and Seth run into a Random Psychic Lady, who proves her abilities and then predicts that Summer is meant to be with some guy named George instead of Seth. Even though there's nothing wrong with their relationship, she starts having doubts and wonders if Seth is her Jimmy Cooper or Sandy Cohen. Meanwhile, Kirsten has flashbacks of the end of her relationship with Jimmy, and finally tells Sandy the truth about her abortion. After all that, he doesn't seem to mind that much. Taylor butts into Ryan's life and discovers that Julie and Frank are in love. She recruits Ryan in the campaign to bring them back together, and after not as much hesitation as you'd think, he jumps on board. But they're squaring off against Kaitlin, who's on Team BULLIT and ready for war. So ready, in fact, that she calls Taylor a "bitch." Sadly for BULLIT, Kaitlin, and anyone in the viewing audience who has a problem with child- and woman-beaters living happily ever after, Julie chooses Frank over BULLIT. And Summer finds her George, but it's actually some eco group called G.E.O.R.G.E., and they want her to join them instead of go to college and be with Seth.
We open on Taylor Townsend's shocked and upset face as Ryan tells her that he doesn't want to do anything for Valentine's Day, since Valentine's Day never ends well for him. "It's a recipe for disaster," he says. Not as much as the recipe for goat cheese and shrimp risotto I tried to make once. That wasn't good for anyone. Taylor thinks Ryan's been distracted lately, but barely gets through saying that before she is also distracted by a piece of paper on Ryan's nightstand with an address scribbled on it. A mystery musical flourish plays, and Taylor asks Ryan about the "suspicious address" she noticed when he was in the bathroom. Most people wouldn't admit that they were spying on their lovers when they weren't around, but Taylor Townsend has no such qualms. Ryan assures her that it's not some girl's address and says he has to go to work because he always has to go to work. Taylor claims to be reassured, but you know she's not. Ryan stupidly leaves her alone with the address, so, of course, she grabs it. Cut to Taylor walking down 35th Street and outside the door of Room 17. She knocks on the door and is surprised when Frank answers it. I'm surprised, too. Mostly sad, though.
Frank invites Taylor in and says this is the new room he's staying in. He told Ryan about it, and while Ryan wrote the address down, he hasn't made an effort to see him yet. Taylor should feel ashamed of herself for violating Ryan's privacy like this, but she doesn't. She just tells Frank that she has "emotional problems," but she's getting over them despite her lack of effort to do so. She thinks Ryan wants to reach out to Frank since he kept the address, and I'm sure he does. On his own time. Without any interference from his crazy girlfriend. He said as much the last time he saw Frank, and it's obvious that he hasn't shut his father out for good but doesn't feel ready to see him yet. Why can't anyone respect that? Taylor says she has an idea: "What if I were to get involved?" That's not an idea, Taylor -- that's your natural reaction to everything. She says Ryan's been sad lately and she thinks mending his relationship with his father will cheer him up. Well, I'd be sad if I were supposedly the backbone of this show and my last few episodes of it were spent getting jerked around by my girlfriend, too. Frank is more than happy to put his relationship with his son in Taylor's hands.
Kirsten hangs out in the kitchen and goes flying off into flashback land, where younger versions of she and Jimmy are talking to each other, until Sandy comes home from work (I think) for lunch and interrupts. They talk about when she was pregnant with Seth and how she used to crave peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Kirsten promptly loses her appetite, chalks it up to pregnancy cravings, and runs off to get dressed for the day. Why does she even bother? It's not like she has anywhere to go or anything to do.
BULLIT shows up at the Roberts house with a bouquet of roses for Julie, saying he likes to give his wife flowers even when it isn't Valentine's Day. And even, apparently, when the person he's giving them to isn't his wife. He figures it's only a matter of time, though, since Julie didn't totally turn down his marriage proposal. And to sweeten the pot, he says there will be no prenup when they get married. Between serving time, hiring an ex-con who didn't graduate high school, and this, I'm starting to think BULLIT's not the awesome businessman we've been told he is. BULLIT says that he made reservations for them at the Yacht Club for Valentine's Day, and he also took the liberty of booking them a suite at the Four Seasons since he figures it's about time they had sex. He assures Julie that she's in for "quite a treat." "Can we just not talk about it?" Julie pleads. Yeah, she's really into you, BULLIT. "I can sum it up in one word," BULLIT says. "Don't," Julie begs. "Bang!" BULLIT says. "I can't wait to take you down to Chinatown," he adds. I don't want to know what that's supposed to mean. Neither does Julie. Kaitlin enters the room, bringing a welcome end to that conversation. She and BULLIT exchange insult greetings of "nerd" and "bird legs" and discuss their upcoming ping-pong game. BULLIT has a table in his office, and he and Kaitlin love playing against each other. Julie says that's "like, totally normal!" and remembers why she chose BULLIT over Frank. Kaitlin pushes her luck and asks BULLIT if she can drive his Ferrari. "No!" BULLIT answers immediately. It's weird how sometimes Kaitlin's supposed to be old enough to drive and have her license, but other times she isn't. Anyway, BULLIT relents and gives her the keys. She leaves, and Julie compliments his relationship with her daughter. "She's like her mom," he says. I have a feeling BULLIT has a calendar back home with the days until Kaitlin is of age marked on it. He kisses Julie and follows Kaitlin out.
On the Promenade, Seth and Summer talk about sea otters. Seth is kind of sick of hearing about Summer's latest quest to find her place in this world, but she doesn't get the hint and exposits that her new sea otter website got eight thousand hits yesterday and has even gotten Greenpeace's attention. She's so busy with it, in fact, that she seems to have forgotten about Valentine's Day. Busted, Summer grabs Seth and drags him over to a nearby psychic to change the subject. The psychic looks at Seth and says that he'll be going to Rhode Island year to study art and will do well there. Seth and Summer are impressed with her abilities, and they should be. Obviously, this psychic has been watching the show this season, making her one of very few. Summer demands a reading for herself, and the psychic tells her to "beware of falling objects" and predicts she'll be in the news with Justin Timberlake. When Summer turns to leave, the psychic calls her back, saying she has something important to tell her. Is she saying that appearing in the news with Justin Timberlake isn't important? Because it is. Unless she means like thirty years from now when he's fat and bald and no one cares about him. Psychic says she can see "the great love of [Summer's] life" in her cliché crystal ball, and to Seth and Summer's surprise, it isn't Seth. "Your destiny is with this George," she gleefully reports. Summer sends Seth off to get her some ice cream and breaks it down to the psychic that her destiny is with Seth, not some guy named George. And then a skateboard falls right to her, thanks to one of the Wards dropping it from the balcony.
Ryan meets Taylor Townsend for dinner and is surprised to find the table set for three. Frank greets his son. Ryan says hello, but with decidedly less warmth. He pulls Taylor aside and says this is "his business." "I know, I'm a meddler," Taylor Mary Worths. And instead of trying to keep that potentially negative aspect of her personality secret, she's indulging in it whether the people she claims to care about like it or not. Ryan worries that he and Frank will have nothing to talk about, but Taylor assures him that she's "never met an awkward silence that [she] couldn't fill." I'm guessing that's because she has so much experience with awkward silences, seeing as she causes them so often. Ryan agrees to have dinner with his dad, and I'm just going to see this as Ryan secretly wanting to reconnect with his father, Taylor knowing this, and then him being relieved that she stepped up to make that happen when he couldn't, as this makes Taylor helpful as opposed to annoying. Ryan and Frank sit down and start talking about their shared opinion of Taylor's bulldozing ways.
Summer meets with Kirsten to get some pictures for the collage she's making for Seth for Valentine's Day. This is supposed to be romantic, but it screams "kitschy" and "last minute gift idea" to me. The theme of the collage is famous couples throughout history, and Summer wants one of Kirsten and Sandy because nothing says "hot romance" like a picture of your parents. Kirsten opens a rather small box that apparently contains all of the family's photos, and Summer grabs a loose photo. It's Kirsten in her totally '80s youth days, and Summer makes fun of her "permage." Kirsten explains that Top Gun had just come out and she "wasn't thinking clearly." Summer also finds a picture of young Kirsten and Jimmy kissing at their sweatshirt party. Wow. I can't believe something so lame is a twenty-year-old tradition. Summer also finds Kirsten and Jimmy's prom photo. It looks like that box is just pictures of Kirsten and Jimmy. Summer says that her and Seth's prom photo looks a lot like that, apparently forgetting the fact that she went to the prom with a Korean guy and got wasted. She asks Kirsten if she ever thought Jimmy was "the one." Kirsten sighs and says that she and Jimmy planned the rest of their lives together and goes flying back into flashback land. Kirsten voiceovers that she grew up and changed. "So will you," she tells Summer, back in the present. Summer asks her how she knew that Sandy was the one, and Kirsten goes back into flashback land again, but this time she doesn't have the perm and she's on her college campus with a young Sandy. What a slap in the face for Kelly Rowan, to actually have a storyline in one of the last shows of the series only to have a different actress doing most of your scenes. Kirsten says being with Sandy "just felt right." "If you're meant to be with Seth, it'll happen. You just have to be patient," Kirsten says. Patient for what? She's already with Seth. If she's meant to be with him, she wouldn't have doubts about it every episode.
Taylor asks Frank if there are any ladies in his life, because I'm sure that's something that Ryan wants to hear all about. Good awkward-silence-filler there, Taylor. Frank says "not really," but something about the way he says this tips Taylor off that he's in love. Ryan agrees with Taylor that Frank does seem to be blushing. Suddenly, BULLIT and Julie walk in. Julie and Frank exchange "hello"s and longing glances. BULLIT makes some rude comments about his lady's body and they walk away, leaving Frank with Taylor and Ryan, who both noticed the way he looked at her.
The day, Ryan's at work. That doesn't stop Taylor from coming around and talking to him about his father and Julie, though. Ryan thinks their relationship is "incestuous" and "inappropriate," while Taylor thinks it's "romantic." She probably thinks that because she didn't have to live with Frank when he beat up women. She wants to try to get Frank and Julie together, but Ryan's not so thrilled with the idea. Neither is his boss Luis, who walks up and tells Ryan to go serve his customers even though the only thing we've ever seen Ryan do is bus tables. "Hola, Luis!" Taylor says. "Hey, Taylor," Luis sighs. He totally hates Taylor. Ryan tells Taylor that Julie deserves better than Frank and goes off to do his job.
Kirsten goes back into her Box of Jimmy and looks at the pictures of them together. All three of them. Then she finds a new picture of Kirsten, Sandy, Jimmy, and Julie holding babies Seth and Marissa. She quickly tosses that aside in favor of another picture of her and Jimmy at the sweatshirt party. Off we go down to flashback land again. Kirsten and Jimmy pose for a picture wearing their USC sweatshirts. The picture taker says it's very cute that they're going to college together, and Kirsten tells Taryn she wishes she was coming, too. "My dad can't just make a phone call and get me into USC," Taryn snots and walks away. "Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be listening to her snide comments for the rest of my life," Kirsten sighs. That's funny and sad at the same time. Jimmy says that they can look forward to their new life without Taryn and her father, even though it was her father who got Kirsten into USC and part of that new life they were planning for each other involved Jimmy working for Caleb.
Kirsten is snapped out of flashback land by Sandy again. She claims she was looking at baby pictures of Seth and then leaves. Sandy opens the box and finds only pictures of Kirsten and Jimmy. Ouch.
Ryan's been pulled out of work again, this time by Seth, who's worried about the psychic's prediction and its effect on Summer. He whips out the proof that he and Summer are, in fact, destined to be together forever: the poem Summer wrote for their fifth grade class that Seth says marks the first moment he fell in love with Summer. Apparently it wasn't back in third grade when she gave her lunch to the skinny squirrel after all. Seth starts going off into flashback land, and Ryan asks how long this will take since he really needs to get back to work. Heh. Seth doesn't get the hint, though, and we go back to 1998 (I feel so old) and a classroom full of kids. Li'l Seth tells Li'l Luke that The Matrix is coming out in only eleven months and Luke, of course, calls Seth a "nerd brain." Seth looks all disappointed and sad, but what did he expect? That was a stupid thing to say. The teacher calls the class to order and calls Summer up to the front of the room to read her original poem. She does. Li'l Seth watches and swoons.
Seth finally comes back to the present and says that was when he knew Summer was "the one." He looks over to where Ryan was sitting, but Ryan's totally not there. He's off working. Ha!
Taylor finds Julie making smoothies in the kitchen and congratulates her on her engagement to BULLIT, really rubbing it in that Julie will be spending the rest of her life sleeping with BULLIT. Julie loses her appetite. Taylor continues that BULLIT will get older and older, and Julie will have to keep performing her "wifely duties." Oh, and Frank will somehow not age? Taylor says she knows that Julie wants Frank. So much so, in fact, that she has "a case of the Franks." That sounds more like an STD than something romantic to me, but whatever, Taylor. Julie admits that she did have feelings for Frank, but she is now with BULLIT for many reasons. Taylor assumes those reasons are money and tells Julie she doesn't need to marry men for their money anymore. Julie reminds Taylor that she could use the money right now and she also doesn't think that Ryan would be thrilled if she was with his father. "God knows I've put that kid through enough," she says. Wow, she acknowledges this? Julie is the only character on this show to evolve in four years. Taylor tells Julie that Ryan only disapproves of Julie and Frank together because he's concerned about Julie, and I don't know that Ryan would really like that fact getting around.
Seth enters Summer's bedroom to find her watching TV. And her bedroom TV has its own TiVo. That, my friends, is wealth. On the TiVo is a news report. Apparently, it's the slowest news day ever because it's about Summer and her week-old quest to save sea otters. That will be followed by a story about Justin Timberlake, who will be performing at the Bait Shop. The reporter goes on to wonder how the Bait Shop gets such great acts, which was pretty funny. Seth and Summer are too concerned about the apparent validity of the psychic's predictions to dwell on meta matters, though. Well, maybe one, as Seth says the psychic does seem credible since she "works at a kiosk and she doesn't appear to charge for her services." But he has proof that he and Summer are meant to be together forever and not Summer and George. He takes out an ugly seashell-covered frame with Summer's fifth grade poem inside it and wishes her a happy early Valentine's Day. Summer stares at the poem and looks stricken. "I didn't write this," she admits. You don't hear the sound of a record scratching, but it's definitely implied.
Summer pays a little visit to Flashback Land herself. Li'l Summer comes into class and shows off her Spice Girl dance moves to Holly, who says Summer is a perfect Scary Spice. Summer smiles at this, as if Scary Spice is a Spice Girl you'd want to be. Please. The only Spice Girl less desirable than Scary was Sporty. A girl with glasses enters the room, and Holly calls her "Taylor Dorksend." Wow. Even in fifth grade, I'm pretty sure kids came up with better mean nicknames than "Dorksend." "Dork" and "Town" don't even rhyme. Taylor and her unfortunate glasses that I can't imagine her uptight mother ever let her out of the house with take a seat to Summer and ask if she's ready to read her original poem in class. It's Summer's turn to read her poem today, Taylor says, as they're going in alphabetical order and they're on "R." Taylor has her poem ready even though she knows they won't get to her today since she's a "T." Either that class is really short or almost every student in it has a last name that begins with "S." Indeed, Summer is called on and has to think quick. She tells Taylor she can come to her birthday party if Taylor gives her her poem. Taylor passes the poem over and the girl playing Taylor does a great imitation of her. Summer takes Taylor's poem and reads it to the class.
Back in the present, Summer and Seth are bummed to realize that their relationship was built on lies. "What if we are each other's Jimmy Cooper?" Summer wonders; "the one before the one." When Seth doesn't say that Summer's wrong, she gets even more worried. Indeed, Seth says he doesn't know if they're destined to be together anymore. I guess not, if their love can be shaken by a random psychic and a false memory of fifth grade. Oh well. storyline, please!
Julie shows up at The Pav to talk to Ryan. She tells him that even though things between her and Frank are over, she wants Ryan to know that she's been with some bad guys in the past. So she knows that Frank isn't one of them. And here is where Ryan should have gone into a Flashback Land of his own where Frank drunkenly beat his wife and children, but no. We're supposed to like Frank and support him and Julie as a couple so we don't get to see that. Julie leaves and Ryan immediately calls Taylor and says he's ready to get Frank and Julie together. Taylor says that Julie has a "case of the Franks," and Ryan does not hang up on her. She proposes getting rid of BULLIT and putting Frank and Julie together for Valentine's Day tomorrow. "I'll start making lists!" she says excitedly. She hangs up and feels eyes burning holes into her back. She turns around and there is Kaitlin standing there, arms folded and jaw clenched. She tells Taylor that her mother loves the BULLIT, who is rich and funny and that's all there is to it. "I'm playing for Team BULLIT, okay? And my team, we always win," she concludes. Taylor says that she and Ryan are playing for Team Frank and her team always wins. Very original, Taylor. Kaitlin says Team Frank is going down. "It's war, bitch!" she says. Taylor's jaw drops. Awesome. I now support this storyline insofar as it pits Taylor and Ryan against Kaitlin in a humorous fashion.
The morning, Kirsten brings Seth breakfast in bed. "When is this Valentine's Day tradition going to die?" he moans. Ungrateful asshole! Kirsten should charge his ass rent and make him serve her. Instead, she pathetically apologizes for "babying" Seth. Seth tells her that Summer is wondering if Seth is her Jimmy Cooper or her Sandy Cohen. "I hope I didn't worry her," Kirsten claims, even though she was the one who said all that stuff about Summer changing and finding the person she's meant to be with. Seth says he's feeling shaky too, since the things that made him fall in love with Summer when he was ten have turned out to be lies. Kirsten reminds Seth that Summer has done plenty of things during their time together that should more than convince Seth that she's The One. She tells him to think about "the real Summer" and not the one he "worshipped in grade school." I think he should, too. It's weird for an adult man to be in love with a ten year old girl. Kirsten says that Summer is Seth's Sandy Cohen, and they toast to that with orange juices. He asks Kirsten why she and Jimmy broke up and she says it doesn't matter because none of the writers can be bothered to think of an explanation.
Kirsten leaves Seth's room and walks into Flashback Land. Jimmy walks into the Diner to meet with Kirsten, who promptly tells him that she doesn't know if she can be with him anymore. "My heart just doesn't feel right," she explains. Jimmy is upset and begs her to reconsider, but she says her mind is made up. She got into Berkeley and she's going there instead of USC. Wow, Kirsten is kind of a bitch. Jimmy takes off. How did the Diner ever survive to be around in the present day when even back then, no one actually ate there? And then Kirsten has a flashback of visiting the Newport Women's Clinic with its totally '80s logo.
Summer discusses her relationship woes with Pancakes. A maid we've never seen before walks into the room with some guy and tells Summer she has a visitor. This maid intrigues me. How is she being paid? Julie doesn't have any money, and I doubt Dr. Neil would pay someone to take care of a house he no longer lives in. And why do they even need a maid? No one living in that house has a job, so surely they have the time to clean it themselves. The guy walks into the room and introduces himself as Paul. "I'm here for George," he says. But George isn't a man -- it's the Global Environmental Organization Regarding Greenhouse Emissions. They've been reading Summer's blog and decided to pay her a visit and invite her to work for them. Wow, G.E.O.R.G.E. must be really hurting for employees if they're recruiting bloggers who have been in the sea-otter-saving business for all of one week.
Over a game of ping-pong, Kaitlin tells BULLIT that he has competition for Julie's heart and will need to step his game up. BULLIT isn't worried even though it's totally obvious that Julie doesn't like him since she hasn't slept with him yet and barely accepted that marriage proposal. And when she sort of did accept it, it was on the condition that she'd learn to love him. But he says he's been married five times and shows us a pair of emerald earrings he's planning to give Julie tonight. Kaitlin says that isn't enough anymore, and BULLIT says that he just wants Julie to be happy, even if the person who truly makes her happy is someone else. Awww, BULLIT's a sweetheart. I bet he never beat any of his wives in a drunken rage, unlike some people. Kaitlin says that if BULLIT wants to marry Julie and be Kaitlin's stepdad, he needs to get to work. BULLIT says he wants to play ping-pong with Kaitlin until he's "old and gray," apparently not realizing that this has already occurred. Kaitlin takes a look out the window and spots some jets. She asks if he owns any of them. "Two of 'em," BULLIT says.
And over in Frank's dingy motel room, Taylor is having a strategy session. She says Team BULLIT will play the money card, but they can play the emotion card. She asks Frank what he loves about Julie. "Well, uh... she's... uh... " Frank stutters. Taylor remembers that the Atwood men don't do very well when it comes to expressing their feelings. She gets a text message from Kaitlin that reads "Y'all are goin' down. Team BULLIT." Ha! Taylor tells Frank to try a little harder. He comes up with: Julie is amazing and pretty and "totally gets me." Does she really? Because it seems to me that she hasn't gotten a few things. Like, for example, the fact that he's a wife-beater. "We're just from the same world," he concludes. Yeah, but that world sucks. That world makes you a violent alcoholic who goes to jail for eight years or lives in a trailer park with a man named Gus for a neighbor. I don't think that's the card you really want to play here, Taylor.
Sandy and Kirsten have a romantic Valentine's Day dinner that consists of Sandy trying to make the best of things and Kirsten looking sad and bored. Like usual. Sandy asks her what's really bothering her and she says she's been keeping a secret from him. He asks if it's about Jimmy Cooper, and she says they should talk about this back home (and off-camera).
Julie shows up at the Yacht Club for dinner and is met at the door by Kaitlin, who's wearing her black ops gear. The pièce de résistance is a black Team BULLIT t-shirt with a big ol' skull and crossbones except that the skull is actually a heart. You might be wondering how Kaitlin got that shirt made so quickly, but I'm pretty sure it's just a leftover Save Marissa shirt with new lettering. Kaitlin says that the dinner is off and she and BULLIT have "way cooler plans" for Julie tonight. A jeep pulls up and Ryan comes out. Kaitlin braces for a "last-minute ambush." Ryan says Taylor activated the GPS on Kaitlin's cell phone to track her down and asks to speak to Julie. "Damn GPS. I should have thought of that!" Kaitlin mutters. Ryan asks Julie to cancel whatever plans she has tonight to meet Frank. A limo pulls up and Julie says she's sorry, but she has to go with BULLIT. She gets in the limo and it pulls away. Kaitlin grins triumphantly until another limo pulls up. "What the hell?!" she asks. Ryan grins wickedly.
Inside the limo, Julie asks her driver to turn on the air conditioning. "Sure, Ms. Cooper," Chauffeur Taylor says in her best blue collar guy voice. I'm rooting for Team BULLIT for sure, but that was pretty clever of Team Frank, I must say.
After the commercial, Ryan tells Kaitlin, "That's war, bitch." Kaitlin plays the young girl card and breaks down into crocodile tears. "I'm only fifteen!" she wails. Ryan apologizes, but Kaitlin just swears that he's going down as she jumps into the limo. Ryan runs for his car as well.
The Team Frank limo pulls into a hot dog stand and Taylor turns to tell Julie that they've arrived. Does Taylor have a chauffeur's license? I don't think limos are that easy to drive. Julie exits the vehicle and finds Frank waiting for her. She asks him what's going on besides first-degree kidnapping, and he says this hot dog stand is a "testament to where we came from." But he really wants tonight to be about "where we could go." He gives her the ring and says it's a "promise ring" and the best he can do. But he does love her. "The real" her, he says. I'm sure BULLIT loves the real Julie, too. Although, quite honestly, neither of them have really known Julie long enough to know the real her. Julie's eyes well as Kaitlin's limo, followed by Ryan, pull into the parking lot. Julie says she's sorry, but she has one daughter left, and that daughter loves BULLIT, which makes Julie's feelings irrelevant. See, Frank? Real parents care about their children's feelings and put them before their own. Julie gets in the real limo and leaves.
Kirsten has just finished telling Sandy about her abortion. We don't get to hear about it, of course, since that time was needed to show more of the psychic and Seth and Summer's manufactured relationship issues, but Kirsten concludes by saying that she thought her inability to get pregnant after Seth was some kind of karmic payback. Sandy asks her why she never told him about this, and she says that "it had only been a month" (I'm not sure if she means a month since the abortion or breaking up with Jimmy or both) before she met Sandy. We flashback to a young Sandy handing out Mondale/Ferraro '84 pamphlets and pins. He offers one to Kirsten, but she refuses. He assumes she's a Republican and that her parents must be, too, which would have made me never want to speak to him again, but for whatever reason, Kirsten finds this appealing. She takes a pin from him, saying she might wear it because it's "stylish" and he asks her out for coffee in an attempted Brooklyn accent. He says he can tell her all the reasons why Mondale and Ferraro are going to lose the election. I guess he'd know since that election would have happened two or three years before this scene, since Kirsten had that Top Gun-inspired perm and Top Gun came out in 1986. But apparently, she thinks it's charming that Sandy is rallying for candidates of an election that happened two years ago and accepts his invitation. Back in the present, Kirsten gives Sandy a Valentine's Day present: the Mondale/Ferraro pin he gave her. He says if it hadn't been for them, there never would have been a Seth. Kirsten says there never would have been a Ryan either, as apparently Frank and Dawn also met at a Mondale/Ferraro rally. Sandy and Kirsten agree that the day they met was the luckiest day of their lives. Apparently, Sandy doesn't have any problem with the fact that she kept such a huge secret from him all this time. I'll bet Kirsten feels pretty stupid now.
Seth enters Summer's bedroom and says he put too much stock in her fake poem and that she might not be the girl he thought she was, but that's okay since the real Summer is better. Li'l Summer was a fantasy girl who was mean to him. Grown Up Summer fights for sea otters and befriends with the friendless. And in the last nine hundred and fifty days they've been dating -- and Seth says he's counting the "Zach Era" in that because "who are we kidding?" (for real) -- he's watched her become an amazing woman. An amazing woman he loves. Summer thanks him but says she met George. "I'll kill him," Seth says immediately. Summer shows him the G.E.O.R.G.E. website and says they offered her a job touring college campuses across the country to tell students about voting. That's good, because if there's one group of people who aren't politically active at all, it's college kids. Also, why is an environmental group wasting its resources on encouraging college kids to vote? Summer can defer Brown for another year, but she doesn't think she and Seth would be able to see each other. Ugh. God. It's called a long-distance relationship, Summer. It's not that hard. Summer says that she does think Seth is her "destiny," but that doesn't mean he's her only destiny. She hands him the collage she made of famous couples in history. Cookies and milk are there, as are... Bill and Hilary Clinton? Really? I don't know that that's a symbol of a healthy and long-lasting relationship you really want to use, Summer. Seth notes that the collage is lacking a picture of them, and she says that "someday" they could go in the middle. Just not now, apparently. Uh... happy Valentine's Day?
In the limo on the way to BULLIT, Kaitlin excitedly tells Julie that they're going to BULLIT's private plane and that Julie will be spending her Valentine's Day with BULLIT wherever in the world she wants to go. Julie tries to share her excitement, but it's obvious that she doesn't. "Oh, no," Kaitlin says.
The limo pulls up, but only Kaitlin gets out. And then the limo vanishes into thin air, which was pretty impressive. BULLIT exits the plane wearing a dashing tuxedo and notes the lack of Julie. Kaitlin asks him if he can be her friend instead of her stepdad. BULLIT looks very sad and figures out that he lost. And he's crushed, but he and Kaitlin walk away together with BULLIT agreeing that they will be friends. Sigh. I hate being on the losing side.
Over at the hot dog stand, Frank, Taylor, and Ryan hang out and try not to dwell on their failure. Ryan sincerely says he's sorry things didn't work out with Julie, and Frank says that he's spending time with his son right now, and that's a pretty good consolation prize. And then a limo pulls up and Julie gets out. Frank doesn't love spending time with his kid as much as he loves spending time with Julie, so he walks up to greet her. "I'm having the strangest craving for a corndog," she says. Well, she got the "corn" part right. I'm glad they refrained from having her say "wiener" though. That would have been crass.
In the distance, Ryan and Taylor watch their plan come together. Frank and Julie hold hands and continue to have no chemistry with each as Ryan reminds Taylor that they have two more hours left on their limo rental. He gives Taylor some flowers from a nearby vase and says he has "new-found faith" in Valentine's Day. They get into the limo and Taylor makes Ryan wear the chauffeur hat and says, "Onwards, Jeeves!" They kiss and are cute together even if Taylor is a creepy meddler sometimes.