We open at The Big House, where Seth is grilling Ryan about what kind of kiss he shared with Theresa. And I know they're good friends and all -- brotherly, in fact -- but Seth's interest is still a bit icky. Ryan agrees, and is typically taciturn in his response: "I don't know. A kiss. My lips. Theresa's lips. A kiss." Seth mocks that lips are interesting, but what's more interesting is tongue. Ryan asks if Seth really wants to know, and he says he doesn't, but that he is looking for what "level of kiss" they're talking about: a Christina/Madonna peck? A Britney/Madonna smooch? A "full-on, like, a, like a [sic] Al and Tipper Gore lip lock?" And as disturbing as Seth's fascination with Ryan's sex life may be, it's nothing compared to the fact that the kid has obviously spent some time thinking about Gore mackage. Throughout this conversation, Seth stalks Ryan through various rooms of The Big House, up a flight of steps, through the courtyard, and into the pool house, all while babbling a stream of questions regarding whether Theresa and Ryan are now a couple, and whether she's staying in Newport, and where she'll live, and how she'll stay regular -- whether she prefers dried apricots or prune juice, specifically -- and how she likes her meat cooked, and whether she prefers purple or pink, and whether her middle toe bigger than her second toe (would that be called the "pointer toe"?), and what her credit is like, and is she talking about a lease of a year or month-to-month or maybe she's looking to buy? Ryan contests that there is no lease, which doesn't deter Seth, who has a different set of questions prepared for this very development: is Theresa going back to Chino, and will Ryan commute back and forth, and in what car? He asks, "How you gonna pay for gas? How you gonna do that? What freeway? Is your freeway of choice? You gonna take the 55 to the 5, or you gonna take the 91 to the 71? If you're gonna take the 71 --" Ryan interjects, "Whoa. Just. Just. Whoa," to which Seth is all, "Okay, I'll just whoa."
But then Seth totally doesn't "just whoa" at all; instead, he insists that Ryan and Theresa need to have a plan, because they kissed and -- because this show suddenly takes place in seventeen-century Puritan New England -- it's a big deal. She's ruined! Twitchy Ryan insists that he'll make an honest woman out of Theresa and marry her so that she does not have to live with the shame of premarital kissing and walk around with a giant blue (because everything is blue in Newport) letter "K" on her chest for "Kisser." (And if we're really overthinking this, is it no small coincidence that "Theresa" and "Hester" share nearly all the same letters? I think I smell an O.C. doctoral thesis.) Ryan insists that Seth's making it a big deal, and that he doesn't even know when he'll see her again. Seeing as how this is television and all, such a comment ensures that he will actually see her again right this very moment. She enters as Seth announces that they were just discussing her plan, to which she's all, "What plan?" and Seth's all, "Yeah. Exactly." Theresa tells them she had the morning off and thought they might need a ride to school. Seth and Ryan awkwardly act like they're glad she came by, but their acting becomes even less convincing when Marissa appears, having had the same idea. She greets Theresa, "Didn't think you'd be...." Her voice trails off, but Seth eagerly finishes the sentiment: "Staying? Yeah, well." Awkwardness ensues as Seth debates their various potential riding options as both girls mumble their embarrassment. When Theresa suggests that it makes more sense if Marissa takes them to school, Marissa snaps, "Why? Because we go to the same school or because I live here?" Or how about this one: because you're a witch and your broom seats three? As Ryan visibly chokes down the nastiness, Seth repeats his suggestion for how they should travel, and Marissa looks abashed. As well she should. I thought she was champion of the helpless? Only if there's a penis and/or penthouse involved, I guess. The girls simultaneously mutter that they should have called, and then leave. Ryan half-heartedly chases after them, as Seth concludes that it looks like they're hitchhiking. I've never noticed the number of floral things that bedeck the pool house before, but I guess Ryan is overcompensating for Chino's complete lack of vegetation except for weeds and brussels sprouts.
“ Kirsten asks Sandy if Caleb will be in a good mood. Sandy refrains from making any kind of 'that depends on whether the babies he had for breakfast were fresh enough' crack. ”
Tinkling.
Kitchen. Sandy greets Kirsten with a sweet "Good mornin', beautiful." This reminds me of "Top of the mornin'," which leaves me most hopeful that there will be a St. Patrick's Day episode. Because this show rocks the holidays, but also because green beer always brings on the wacky hijinx. Marissa surprises them by traipsing through the kitchen and issuing the sullen greeting "Kirsten. Sandy." Shouldn't there be entryways to the pool house other than through The Big House at what is presumably about seven o'clock in the morning? And do the Cohens not lock their doors? Sandy looks confused by the intrusion, but Kirsten moves on to announcing that Sandy won't believe who is Riviera magazine's "Man of the Year." She yelps Theresa's name in surprise as Theresa, in turn, appears in the kitchen. She is clearly the better choice for Ryan, by the way, greeting the Cohens with the far more respectful "Mr. Cohen" and "Mrs. Cohen." Sandy makes a crack about Theresa's being a good kid and deserving the award, leading Kirsten to reveal the magazine cover, from which Caleb's jowly face glares outward at the world. Sandy groans and says that his vote stays with Theresa.
When Seth and Ryan enter, Kirsten curiously announces that a couple of Ryan's "friends" stopped by. Sandy would so have said "lady friends." An onslaught of inappropriate questions into Ryan's personal life commences as Ryan squints up his eyes and remains silent, while Seth babbles away all his confidences. Sandy points to Ryan and marvels, "It's amazing! His lips don't even move." Kirsten asks how long Theresa is staying, and Seth begins to answer but is immediately silenced by Blue Plastic. When Ryan explains that they're figuring out her situation, Sandy echoes Seth's stream of earlier questions culminating in the ridiculous "Can she afford to buy?" Maybe a hair clip, but a whole house? She's seventeen! After witnessing Sandy's display, Seth justifies his own snoopy nature: "I am this way for a reason." When Kirsten asks whether Theresa's going back to school, Ryan sees an out and announces, "School. Bye." Trailing after Ryan out the door, Seth turns back to tell his parents, "Now you know why I do the talking." Kirsten's off to work, but not before she asks Sandy if Caleb will be in a good mood. Sandy refrains from making any kind of "that depends on whether the babies he had for breakfast were fresh enough" crack, and instead dodges the question by pointing out that he should be in a good mood, since he's Man of the Year. Kirsten meant about the case: will Sandy take it? When Sandy explains that he's still considering it, Kirsten reveals that she and Sandy are hosting the reception for Caleb's award, and that it would be nice if Uncle Sean was able to be there. Sandy musters a half-hearted joke: "Not if we have to pay for the bar tab." Kirsten insists that she's serious, and Sandy repeats that he's thinking about it.
“ The kitchen is swarmed by a zillion black-clad caterers -- or possibly English graduate students. ”
We find ourselves at the public golf course. We know we're at the public golf course because there's a man of color there, and he's not carrying the clubs. We also know because they let Sandy in while wearing his homeless man costume. He greets Otis, who turns out to be the District Attorney, and who announces that things are much better at the DA's since Sandy left the public defender's office, because his people are winning more cases now. Sandy jokes that he left because he felt bad for the DAs. When Otis wonders aloud why he suspects that it's not a "wild coincidence" that Sandy has crashed his golf game, Sandy exclaims, "Well, you have trust issues!" and then makes some joke about Otis's never having been married. I didn't find jokes about the travails of marriage funny before I was married, and I don't now, either. Otis announces that Sandy's presence will save him a phone call, since they have a deal to offer Uncle Sean. Sandy insists that Uncle Sean isn't his client, and that he's such a drunk that you can't take what he says seriously. Otis is taking him very seriously, though. Sandy asks "out of curiosity" what kind of deal is being offered, and Otis reveals that if Sean cooperates and outs his employer, they'll consider pleading him down to a lesser charge. Sandy suggests that if the plaintiff dropped the charges completely, Sean would have no reason to talk, and Otis points out that the plaintiff has no reason to do that. Except Sandy's silence says the plaintiff totally does. Otis tells Sandy that the Newport Group is Orange County's Enron. Does that make Kirsten the Martha Stewart? And I've always gotten a strong Kato Kaelin vibe from Jimmy. And Lady Heather is so the town's Monica. Otis threatens that if Sandy makes the case difficult, he'll be forced to come down hard on him. Sandy gripes that it's an election year, and Otis insists that he want to spare him because they've been friends for years, but that "it used to be Sandy Cohen's moral compass wouldn't point him anywhere except the direction of truth." That sounds like great comic-book language: "Eyebrow Man: his moral compass points only in the direction of truth." And I think I'd go with a purple leotard for Sandy -- possibly with a turquoise cape. Sandy leaves, but not without taking another random swipe at Otis's marital status.
Back at The Big House, Ryan eats cereal as Seth whines about where he was last night; Seth covered for him, but Ryan shouldn't be doing this! Ryan claims that he just feel asleep, but Seth heard about "some scary guy that showed up at school." As they talk, the kitchen is swarmed by a zillion black-clad caterers -- or possibly English graduate students. Ryan attempts to change the subject, and asks whether Seth talked to Anna. Seth tells him not to change the subject, and then pauses and mutters, "I'm powerless not to talk about it." He says he tried, and Anna gave him a list of reasons why she's leaving town. Ryan's all, "You didn't make the cut, did you?" Seth argues that she's lying, and says he just wants her to know that she shouldn't be doing this because of him. Ryan proposes that Seth just tell her, and Seth's all, "Just tell her, huh? Simple. Honest. Direct. No wonder I never considered it." Seth says he'll do it tonight, but only after he has some champagne first. He says, "A little veritas in vino. Know what I mean?" to which Ryan's all, "Hardly ever." Hee.
“ Marissa says, 'There's a party tonight,' and it's like I've been sucked back twenty- five years to a time when Blair was at once embarrassed by Cousin Geri and jealous of her popularity with the gang. ”
Theresa emerges from the shower to answer a knock at the door. And while a white plastic chip clip is an acceptable means of displaying her utter Chino-ness, a scrunchy would have been a better choice. It's Marissa and her bangs, which have miraculously returned. Marissa says, "There's a party tonight," and it's like I've been sucked back twenty-five years to a time when Blair was at once embarrassed by Cousin Geri and jealous of her popularity with the gang. Because it's as if the line has been voiced over, for no explicable reason, by Geri Jewell. Marissa adds that she thought Theresa might want to go, and Theresa laments that she didn't bring any of her nice clothes with her. Marissa suddenly produces a garment bag, raises it in the air, and wriggles it around in front of Theresa's face.
At the party, Caleb gets his twinkle lights after all. Sadly, they're hanging from trees as decoration, and not in the preferred location Kirsten would have liked to shove them. Sandy answers his cell phone and greets "Joel," telling him that now is a perfect time. Meanwhile, Caleb and Kirsten are having an uncomfortable photo shoot together; he tells her to smile, and she snits that she's smiling on the inside. She should be, because she looks fine in that dress. Grey is her color. Grey doesn't really sound like it would be anyone's color, but it works for Kelly Rowan. Seth watches his father pass by, and picks up a glass of champagne from a glass directly in Kirsten's line of sight, which shows either a really bad lapse of editing or the agitated mental state Seth is in to risk getting caught from Kirsten. Sandy, meanwhile, continues to weave through the party; in case we didn't get that he's talking to the lumber supplier/plaintiff in Uncle Sean's case, he pointedly calls him "Mr. McEwan." He announces that they've reached a deal, with which Caleb will be pleased, and also that people do what they must. That can't be good.
Summer sidles up to Ryan and asks if Theresa's coming? Nope. In turn he asks about Marissa, and Summer says she doubts it. Summer levels with Ryan: she knows why Ryan is doing what he's doing, but Marissa really loves him. Well, I really love Double Stuf Oreos, but that doesn't mean I should date them. In any case, Ryan flatly says he knows. Summer adds that she knows the thing with Oliver was messed up, but that since Marissa dated Luke for years, Ryan can't exactly trust her judgment. And that's supposed to be a reason why he should date her? A history of bad judgment? In any case, Summer insists that Marissa has a good heart.
Marissa sashays into the party, followed by Theresa, and clearly you need a flat iron to clean up Newport-style. Neither girl's dress particularly impresses me, but since neither offends me either, I can't complain. Summer gasps, and Ryan "wow"s. Theresa's all, "Tell me about it, stud." And I just realized that I used that joke before, but it works so well here that I can't help myself. Theresa tells Ryan she had some help, and non-implanted chins are nodded in each others' directions. The camera man in this scene is really, really obsessed with the fruit display. I'll bet he's on a low-carb diet.
“ Caleb declares that Seth will one day grow out of comic books and into wanting to be rich. Does that mean I will one day grow out of wanting to be rich and into comic books? ”
Caleb urges Seth to join him in a picture because he's the future of the company. Seth grimaces, "There's something to look forward to." Caleb declares that Seth will one day grow out of comic books and into wanting to be rich. Does that mean I will one day grow out of wanting to be rich and into comic books?
Anna flounces into the party, running directly into Summer. She explains that her plane is leaving soon, but that she wanted to say goodbye. Summer sadly determines that Anna is really leaving, then announces that although Anna might not believe it, she's going to miss her. Anna thinks it's even more unbelievable that she's going to miss Summer. They giggle and call each other "Blanche" and "Rose" again. At first I was all excited, because I thought that made Marissa Dorothy, but she really can't be anyone but Sophia, seeing as how they're in the same age group.
Random Noopsie gossip. Boob jobs and face lifts and chinplants, oh my!
Theresa overhears the Noopsie conversation, and asks about the whole chinplant thing just as Anna repeats Summer's earlier assertion that chins are the new noses. Ryan introduces the two girls, and Anna would have made a nice friend for Theresa. Ryan concernedly asks if Anna's there to say goodbye to Seth; in response, she bites her lips and watches the photo shoot. She hands a letter to Ryan and asks him to give it to Seth, because while it's supposed to say everything that she couldn't say, she can't seem to say anything at all. They share a sweet farewell hug, and he thanks her for teaching him how to waltz. He thanks her for teaching him how to waltz. She earnestly tells him, "Have the best life. You deserve it." And with that, I am smitten, Smurf Blue tights and all.
Lady Heather drinks champagne, because she's a guest at a party to which there's no good reason she ever would have been invited. Luke's there, too, and he's suffering from the same problem. How would these two make the guest list? Luke checks her out, complimenting her hotness. She orders him to behave, to which he responds, "I know. But. It's just. Your ass." Luke's delivery of the word "ass," curiously, suggests that he may be a Parseltongue. He discreetly runs a hand down her back, but not discreetly enough for Jimmy.
Sandy corners Caleb to reveal that he met with the DA, and that it didn't go well. Caleb jabs that he thought Otis was Sandy's friend; didn't they used to make deals all the time? When Sandy points out that it's an election year and Caleb's not too popular with the people, Caleb scoffs at Sandy's meager attempt, and huffs off to make his toast. Sandy stops him to announce that he'll make the problem go away, but that it's going to cost Caleb: Joel McEwan needs to be the chief lumber supplier for the big Newport Group contract, and it won't be wholesale, either. But it will work. Caleb goes in for the celebratory handshake, but Sandy's all, "Not if you were Man of the Century." When Caleb argues that Sandy shouldn't be upset, because he cuts deals for clients all the time, Sandy rebuts that usually they're the ones who broke the law, not him.
“ Ryan charges back at Eddie, and we have ourselves a fight, ladies and gentleman. I wonder if waiters in Newport get medical benefits, because these guys need it. They're in the line of fire at these soirees. ”
Jimmy and Lady Heather face off with a "Jules" and a "James," but their voice tones are more like "Bitch" and "Loser." He tells her, "You know forgive me. But this can't. Possibly. Be. Happening. I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm crazy. To even think it, right?" She's all "Think what?" and he emphatically states that "it" would destroy Marissa, and doesn't Lady Heather think she's been through enough? Lady Heather snorts at him, and continues to insist that she doesn't know what he's talking about.
As Caleb takes the podium and "blah, blah, king of the world"s, Eddie enters the front door of The Big House just as Ryan leaves Theresa to deliver Seth's letter. Marissa sees Eddie and jumps into action. If by "jumps into action," you mean "does absolutely nothing to prevent what she knows is an imminently combustive situation," that is. Caleb, meanwhile, continues to go on about "[his] favorite -- well, [his] only grandson -- Seth," before calling him to join him on stage. Seth is not pleased and rolls his eyes, neck, shoulders, hips, ankles, and any other body part capable of being rolled.
As the Cohens, sans Sandy, line up on stage, Eddie locates Theresa and begs her to leave the party. As he tries to drag her out by her elbow, Ryan turns back to help. Eddie tells Ryan to stay away, but of course he doesn't, and then Ryan gets thrown down on the cameraman's lovely fruit display. Ryan charges back at Eddie, and we have ourselves a fight, ladies and gentleman. I wonder if waiters in Newport get medical benefits, because these guys need it. They're in the line of fire at these soirees. Luke pushes through the crowd to break up the fight, but it's too late. Ryan ends up in the pool, which is kind of fun to watch in reverse. Also, it's got a kicky half-twist to it. I give it a 7.5, but keep an eye on the Russian judge. As Luke and Jimmy hold back Eddie, who is screaming that Ryan is dead, Sandy tells him to leave before the police arrive. Theresa stands poolside and looks sad and also, oddly, a bit like Summer.
Inside, Ryan holds an ice bag to his head. In Newport they have both iceandplastic bags. Sandy admires his potential shiner and enthuses, "But hey! They look good on ya!" Theresa apologizes, and Kirsten insists that it's not her fault. Sandy heard there was a rumble in the bedroom, and heads off to break it up. Meanwhile, Seth laments the fact that Anna failed to show, and Ryan produces the letter. When Seth expresses his disbelief that Ryan waited until now to give it to him, Ryan defends, "I was a little distracted!" Seth can't read it, though, because it went for a swim in the pool. He takes it outside to read, because apparently the light of the moon is more illuminating than a standard bulb. Summer grudgingly trails him outside, and joins him as he attempts to make out a phrase which he thinks is either "I love you as your bijon" or "I love you as your Aztecs." Summer says, "Aspirin?" and Seth asks if she thinks that's what the letter says; no, she says, but he's giving her a headache and she wants some. , they struggle is over a "c" word, which causes Summer to announce, "Confusing." Again, it's not her interpretation of the letter, but an expression of her own feelings -- why does Seth care so much about what the letter says? Seth buzzes and whirs that Anna couldn't even say goodbye, and that he doesn't want her to leave because of him. Summer announces that he was declaring his love for her last week, and now he's all, "Anna's letter! I can't read it!" Hee. He slow-talks that it's not like that: Anna is his friend, and he doesn't want her to leave. Summer thinks it over, and tells him to go and stop her, then. Seth kisses Summer's forehead and dashes off.
“ Lady Heather orders Caleb to plan the perfect date and run it by her, and then they'll see. She should make him draft up a proposal with color diagrams and a cover page any everything! ”
Inside, Ryan asks what Theresa's is going to do, and for some reason she's the one who looks like she went into the pool. Actually, Seth kind of does, too. Why is Ryan the driest-looking person in the room? And why is he still in his suit, which now appears to be dry? Either he left his wet suit on so long that it dried, or he put on a new, dry suit. Either action is senseless. Theresa says she needs to call Eddie and straighten things out, and Ryan insists that everything will be okay. Seth interrupts their conversation because he needs Ryan to drive him to the airport to stop Anna. He can't drive himself because the champagne goes straight to his head. I'd say a lot of things go straight to Seth's head lately.
Outside, Lady Heather overstays her welcome at a party to which she should never have been invited. Caleb smarmily calls her "Juju"; they exchange unpleasantries, and he asks if he can drive her home. She snits that she can walk down the driveway. Caleb announces that it's been a busy time, and that he'd like to take her on a "real date," because he knows he didn't appreciate her, but he wants to now. She orders him to plan the perfect date and run it by her, and then they'll see. She should make him draft up a proposal with color diagrams and a cover page any everything!
The thumping bass of Journey's "Separate Ways" plays as Seth urges Ryan to drive faster; when Ryan argues that he's going 75 in a 65, Seth responds, "Everyone knows 80s the new 75," and Ryan's all, "Who talks it like this?" This entire car scene parrots Seth and Summer's conversation in the car to Tijuana. If there's a scenario in which that makes particular sense, I'm blind to it. I think some writer got a little ruler-happy. Seth fusses with the air conditioning, whining that his "Jewfro" is frizzing out and he looks like Screech. He then moves on to dissing the music, which is one step to far for Ryan, who warns, "Do not. Insult. Journey. All right?"
Theresa, still looking wet, shows up at Jimmy's Non-Beautiful Blue Bachelor Pad. There's no reason in the world why she should know where Marissa lives, but she does. Marissa asks how she is, and Theresa claims she's embarrassed, because she can't believe Ryan and Eddie had a huge fight at a fancy party. Marissa tells her, "Actually not the first time that's happened and every time it's happened before it's been about me. Me! You hear that? Men fighting over me!" Well, except without that last little bit. But you know it's what she's thinking. Theresa hands over the dress, apologizing because she won't have time to get it dry-cleaned before she goes. Marissa repeats, "Before you go," but clearly she's really thinking, "You're from Chino. I wouldn't wear this dress again if you boiled it." Anyway, Theresa says she's been fooling herself and made a mess out of everything; both she and Ryan need to figure out their lives. She leaves Marissa with the always annoying, "Take care of him."
Meanwhile, in the Beautiful Blue Bedroom, Kirsten joins Sandy and announces that she knows what he did. He finishes, "Obstructed justice. Tampered with a witness." So if she's Martha Stewart, does that make him Peter Bacanovic? Kirsten asks what happens now, and Sandy points out that since it's an election year, the DA can't afford to lose, and without their star witness, they don't have a case. He adds, "If you're gonna go after the king, Caleb, then you had better know that you can kill the king." And that might be the strangest, most awkwardly scripted piece of dialogue I've heard on this show. It's like they wrote the line and then decided that the average audience member wasn't smart enough to realize that the "king" in the metaphor is actually Caleb, and so they contextualized it for us to the detriment of common sense. We're too dumb, clearly, to understand what Sandy would have meant if he'd just said, "If you're gonna go after the king, then you had better know that you can kill him." Kirsten repeats that she didn't want Sandy involved, but he insists that he'll always do what's best for his family. Kirsten would rather have him in jail, though, than in bed with Caleb. He rebuts that he'd rather send her to jail than end up in bed with Caleb, so they're even. She sits beside him and sadly says that there's no going back, which he says is "kinda like prom night." He then tells her, "Believe me. If anybody's gonna be puttin' you in handcuffs, it's gonna be me."
“ As she drags her cheery little red suitcase along, Anna turns back for a sweet smile in response to Seth's panicked banging on the glass. Seriously? That is so not the way to act in an airport. ”
A cover of OMD's "If You Leave" totally rounds out the many John Hughes/teen '80s movies connections that punctuate this show. But does that make Seth or Anna Duckie Dale? Seth runs into the airport, pausing to grab a pamphlet from a Moonie. He spots Anna as she goes through Security, and yelps for her to wait. And what a way to get the hopes up of a girl who's trying to get over you! Poor Anna. She runs toward Seth probably expecting a declaration of love, but instead gets his incoherent ramblings about how he doesn't want her to leave because of him. He knows she loves him because he read the letter and he gets it and he's sorry if he did anything to hurt her feelings. And what's with the "if"? She says she does love him, but as a friend, to which he's all, "It doesn't say 'as a basha'?" She gracefully tells him that he's an amazing guy -- if a little self-absorbed -- but that if there's one thing their relationship taught her, it's that they don't have any chemistry. Amen. They both tear up as Seth asks for the last time if she's leaving because of him; also for the last time, Anna dodges the question: "I'm leaving because I need to leave." She suggests that they might be perfect for each other one day, but that right now she has to go to Pittsburgh; she then flatly tells him she's moving because she thought she could make this her home, but she can't. Aw. They hug, and she heads back through Security. Seth trails after her in desperation, asking what he'll do without her. I don't know. Maybe appreciate her for once. Man. This is kind of painful. He goes on about what he'll do without her to play Jenga with, leading her to deliver a tearful "Confidence, Cohen." And what fitting last words for this character! As she drags her cheery little red suitcase along, Anna turns back for a sweet smile in response to Seth's panicked banging on the glass. Seriously? That is so not the way to act in an airport. Seth presses his nose up against the security glass and tries to look cute; in homage to Anna, my appreciation for said potential cuteness is distracted by the amount of germs teeming through his pores at this very moment. Because no one is cute wearing the bacteria of three million strangers.
After having suitably toyed with Anna's emotions for the very last time, Seth takes Ryan to the Mermaid Inn so that he can check on Theresa. Either she's gone and she took all her candles with her, or she's gotten a job as the hotel's cleaning woman, and is starting by vacuuming her very own room.
The boys eat pizza on the pier. Seth eats with one hand stuffed in his pocket. It's cute, except I'm really hoping he washed his hands and face after the airport incident. Seth wonders whether the girl he's supposed to be with just went back to Pittsburgh, and Ryan asks, "What if she went back to Chino?" to which Seth's all, "Why would Anna go back to Chino?" Ryan says that they at least have each other, and Seth points out that he has Summer now, but offers to "put a little Seth-Ryan time on the books." Ryan sarcastically thanks him, and then claims that he could always hang out with Luke. Ryan wonders aloud about what Luke's doing right now, and Seth's all, "Discovering fire? Hunting and gathering? Shaving his chest with a pocket knife?" He suggests that the two could do that together and as the camera slowly pulls back from the pier, we hear Ryan laugh, "I do do that." Hee.
In three weeks on The O.C., Seth and Ryan catch Luke and Lady Heather, and Ryan is not happy about it. Kirsten suggests that Jimmy use Lady Heather as an interior designer for the restaurant; he objects, but it's so going to happen. Also, Marissa wears a cute green top; Colin Hanks shows up with long, shaggy hair; Paris Hilton is also there for some reason; and Hailey turns out to be a big-haired, bigger-shouldered stripper!