Previously on The O.C., Holly's dad beat up Marissa's dad at her debutante ball, and Luke thought Marissa couldn't blame Holly for that. Kirsten knewJimmy, which Lady Heather knew because he still had their prom photo up on their wall. Lady Heather also knew she wanted a divorce. Luke never should have broken up with Marissa in the first place. Ryan said she should let him know when she made up her mind. Summer thought "Chino didn't stand a chance." Then, she kissed Seth. Gabrielle kissed Ryan, and Marissa walked in on them together. She then gave it up to Luke and his giant, grubby paws out of confusion and/or spite. Marissa told Ryan he was too late to devirginize her.
Ryan stomps into the kitchen of The Big House, followed by Seth, who is insisting that the "plan is undeniable." Seth can't seem to learn his lesson about undeniable plans what with the burning of a house, the destruction of the Range Rover, and the time Luke got shot and all. An exasperated Ryan responds, "I'm denying it." Seth explains that they have his mother's Range Rover; they have a perfect alibi because he goes to the same comic-book convention every year; and they also have the credit Seth's built up by never doing anything wrong, which lulls his parents into a "false sense of trust." Ryan takes a box of Cap'n Crunch from the pantry and asks why Seth would want to throw all that away "for Summer in a wet t-shirt doing body shots." Seth pauses, blinks, and considers the visual; he then recovers, apologizing because he thought it was a rhetorical question. He emphatically insists, "Yes, Ryan. Yes." He explains that, on the last weekend before school, "one goes to Tijuana; it is tradition, and it is a rite of passage." Unless one goes every year, in which case it's more like a series of rites of passages, and that is somewhat less significant. Seth dramatically adds that "what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico." Ryan asks what exactly happens in Mexico; Seth doesn't know because it stays there, which is why they should go. Ryan is unsure about lying to the Cohens; Seth volunteers to lie for him. Ryan wonders why they can't just go to "Comic-Con," and Seth responds that Comic-Con is "basically a bunch of pathetic virgins ogling some porn star dressed as Catwoman." Ryan snarks, "Thought you went every year?" Seth shakes off the snark, and instead claims that since Tijuana is a big town, Ryan probably won't even see Marissa. Ryan insists that he doesn't "care about seeing Marissa. Or...not seeing Marissa." Seth concludes that "therefore [Ryan] should have no problem coming to Mexico," which is faulty reasoning, considering Ryan just said he didn't care about Marissa, but did care about other factors, like lying to Sandy and Kirsten. Still, Seth's right, as Ryan points out that Marissa will be hanging out with Summer. Seth thinks Marissa will "probably be shacked up with Luke," and then, as Ryan stares him down, apologizes and admits "that's probably a bit painful."
Sandy eagerly enters the room, asking if they're "all excited" about Comic-Con? He tells Ryan that Seth's been going since he was ten and that "it's the highlight of his year." Seth sarcastically thanks Sandy, claiming, "Highlight's a bit overstated." He notices his dad's suit and the fact that his hair is almost brushed and enthuses, "Big pimpin'!" Sandy explains that he has a meeting with a private law firm. Ryan asks whether he's suing one of their clients. The giant lemon and lime arrangement makes its second appearance, giving it as much face time as Caitlyn has had so far. No one's complaining. Sandy clarifies that he has a job interview. Kirsten enters the kitchen and adds, "Which he'll never take." Kirsten claims that the law firms like to flatter Sandy every once in a while, and Sandy jokes that he goes for the "free meal." Ryan is anxious about this revelation, asking whether Sandy will still be a public defender. Kirsten insists that there's no way Sandy will sell out after fifteen years, and Sandy backs her up by saying it "would have to be one hell of a free meal." Seth says, "And that's what they call a callback in comedy, Ryan." Sandy asks when the boys are leaving on their trip, and Seth pauses before turning to Ryan: "I don't know. How soon?" Ryan, cornered, slowly looks up from his Cap'n Crunch as Seth watches him hopefully. Ryan responds, "Tomorrow," and Seth's all, "Hmmm. Don't you mean "mañana?" That's "tomorrow" in Spanish. I'm bilingual that way.
Tinkle. Right back where we started from!
Seth breezes into the pool house, giant sombrero in hand; he artfully places it on Ryan's head. Seth proclaims, "Looks goooood," and Ryan looks at him skeptically before insisting, "I don't wear hats," and removing it. Seth correct Ryan -- doesn't he mean "sombrero"? He insists that Ryan needs to brush up on his Spanish, producing a book which he claims contains "over five hundred useful phrases." Ryan opens the tome and unenthusiastically reads, "May I please see a lady's worsted nylon bathing suit?" Which must come from a real Spanish textbook, because who could have made that up? Seth's all, "Yeah. Did you know that one?" Ryan is unresponsive, and Seth hands over another document, explaining that it's their trip itinerary. Ryan points out that it's twelve pages long, and that they're only going for two days, but Seth insists that if Ryan's going to get over Marissa, "somebody needs activities." Ryan argues that he doesn't need to get over Marissa -- he's over Marissa. He heads for the door; and Seth calls him back repeatedly before saying, "Look at me. This is me, here. Okay? Amigo. Now I know you're hurting, and I think you need to unburden your soul." He sits down on the bed and gently rubs a spot right to him. When Ryan doesn't respond, Seth pats the bed more emphatically. He tells Ryan he's "here to help," and Ryan insists, "My soul is fine." He continues, "Marissa and me --"
We cut to Lady Heather's Lair, where Marissa completes Ryan's sentence: "...it just, I don't know, it never would've worked." She and Summer are in her coral-colored bedroom, which has a pretty, green, Shabby Chic desk. Summer claims it's so much better this way, because Ryan's "all, like, brooding, wounded, 'somebody save me.'" Marissa thought Summer liked that, but Summer responds, "It is too hot to save anyone." They do their own pedicures? Summer awkwardly segues to backstory: "Speaking of hot...I can't believe you and Luke! That you guys did it!" She insists that Marissa has to tell her everything, because she's been waiting for it forever! Marissa's all, "You have?" Summer snoops, "You've seen it before? Touched it?" Marissa scolds that sex is "a sacred act between two people." Summer concludes, "It was a letdown, right? Kinda hurt? Totally awkward?" Marissa says it's not like she had anything to compare it to, though, and Summer urges her to do it again because it's "way better the second time." Marissa reveals that she's going to Luke's that afternoon, and Summer insists, "Get back on that horse. You gotta giddyup!" With that exclamation, she jumps to her feet and does a little rodeo-ing dance. Marissa squeals for Summer to shut up because her dad's home!
And home he is; Jimmy's on the phone and arguing with the person on the other end -- he or she promised him the apartment would be ready! He's moving out this weekend! And where is he supposed to stay? He calms down a bit, telling whoever he's talking to -- probably his now not-future landlord -- not to apologize; he thanks him/her and tells him/her to forget it. Hanging up in frustration, he turns on the Jimmy Cooper charm as Summer and Marissa enter the room. He recalls that they're going to Palm Springs for the weekend, and Marissa slow-talks that it's actually Tijuana, and that they're not leaving until the day. Jimmy distractedly corrects himself, and Marissa asks if he's okay, because she was going to go to Luke's, but if he wants her to stay, she will. Jimmy insists that he's fine, and tells her to go to Luke's. He then turns to Summer and dorks, "Luke's great. Isn't he, Summer? He's a...he's a...he's a good kid." Summer makes a "what the F?" face and confusedly agrees, "Sure." Jimmy says he's "gotta, you know," and Marissa says she does know, except we know that Marissa really doesn't know anything. As the girls leave, Marissa casts a concerned look back at her father.
Doorbell. The Big House. Rosie is obviously slacking on the job, as Kirsten answers it to find Jimmy standing in the doorway, asking if it's a bad time. We join them in the living room as Kirsten asks why he didn't come to her in the first place. He starts to explain, but she cuts him off, volunteering to call her realtor -- she's sure she can help Jimmy find something. Jimmy thanks her, and Kirsten asks how the girls took the news. He fumbles and paces, and then sits down to reveal that he and Lady Heather decided to "table that conversation" until Monday. Kirsten can't believe Jimmy hasn't told his daughters yet, and Jimmy explains that Lady Heather and Caitlyn are at Lady Heather's mother's house, and that Marissa's going to Mexico; he thought it would be "easier and cleaner...if [they] did it that way." He adds, "They come back. I'm gone. And then we...we tell them." Kirsten's not sure about the plan, and neither is Jimmy, but the thought of having them watch him move out is untenable, since the whole situation is hard enough as it is. He never thought he'd be "that guy, that...a divorced guy." Kirsten looks concerned.
Marissa and Luke make out as he happily tells her it will be so romantic in Tijuana; Marissa's not into it, though, and points out that it's "kinda gross there." It doesn't matter to Luke, who proposes that they won't leave the hotel room. She doesn't know about that, though; unbuttoning her blouse, Luke misunderstands and says it will be "way better the second time." Which is exactly what Summer said. Word for word. These dialogue people need to work a little harder. Marissa clarifies that she doesn't know about "Mexico. TJ." "TJ," apparently, is short for "Tijuana." She pulls herself to a seated position, and explains that she doesn't know if she wants to go because she feels like her father is "having a meltdown." Luke's all, "You're thinkin' about your dad right now?" He urges her, "Come on, babe," and moves in for the kiss, but she cuts it off to say again that she doesn't know if she can leave Jimmy alone. Irritated, Luke groans that Jimmy is "like, forty." Marissa insists that they can go to Mexico whenever, but that she feels like she should be with her father right now. Luke concedes, rolling back in frustration and looking at his watch; he's got to go meet the guys anyway. He gets to his feet, while Marissa sits on the bed and looks pensive.
The Only Restaurant in Orange County. Ryan busses tables while Seth sits at the bar. He waves Ryan over to ask, "Is she looking at me?" Ryan responds, "Still not," as the camera cuts over to show Summer seated in a corner booth of the OROC, smiling and giggling with friends. Seth knows what she's doing and claims it's "textbook." He says, "She'll play me hot and cold, tryin' to pretend like our little kiss didn't happen." Ryan points out that there were no witnesses: "I mean, I didn't see anything." Seth claims he'll just have to "make magic happen again," then. Luke enters, throwing a flippant wave in Ryan's direction; Marissa follows, and Ryan asks how she's been -- he hasn't seen her in a while. She snits that the last time she saw him, he "kinda had [his] hands full." Summer calls Marissa over, and Ryan's all, "Don't let me keep you," and she's all, "I won't," and he's all, "Good," and she's all, "Fine," and he's all, "Later," and she's all, "Uh-huh." She heads over to the table, awkwardly greeting Holly. Meanwhile, Summer is asking the boys, "You don't make those freshmen watch a real donkey show, do you?" Luke and his cronies exchange glances and snickers and high fives. Meanwhile, Marissa and Ryan sneak furtive glances each other's way.
Sandy fiddles with his cell phone and writes in a bland waiting room that resembles Wolfram and Hart's. A blonde Kirsten clone clicks toward him in her high heels, jokingly asking how he got past Security. (The actress's name, by the way, is Bonnie Somerville, who played Mona on Friends and, before that, Courtney on Grosse Pointe.) Sandy flusters to stand, and they exchange a hug. Her name is Rachel, we learn. Sandy says she looks great, and that "bein' a slave to The Man" agrees with her. She jokes that it was a full six seconds until the first insult -- Sandy's getting soft! She asks if he's still surfing, and he says he is, every morning; it helps him keep a clear mind. That, he says, "and not working in a joint like this." Rachel goes on about the decent hours and appropriate compensation -- she doesn't know how she ever left the DA's office. He jokes that, if he remembers correctly, it was because she kept losing "to this roguish, brilliant --" She cuts him off to add, "Conceited." Sandy enthuses, "That's right. It was me!" He asks what the "good folks" at Partridge, Savage and Kahn want with "a lowly P.D.," and Rachel tells him that he "made some noise" with the Jimmy Cooper case. He insists that he didn't do anything, and she concedes that he's still got his work cut out for him, "but, heading the feds off at the pass; negotiating a restitution deal; calling in a high-powered securities attorney in the span of a weekend!" That's an unsuccessful mouthful for Rachel, who sounds like she's basically reading the lines. Probably because she is. Sandy exclaims, "God, I am impressive!" Rachel's adds, "And conceited," and Sandy's all, "So you keep sayin'!" Rachel reveals that no one was going to "touch" Jimmy, and that what Sandy did made the partners -- and her -- think that Sandy might be ready to "come down off his high horse." They've been wondering, "Is [Sandy] finally tired of being a martyr?" Sandy says he was just hoping for a free meal; Rachel's sorry to disappoint him, but all he's getting is a really good sales pitch. He thinks it "sounds delicious." The elevator doors close. We don't see her push the down button, but clearly that's where they're headed. Way down.
Back at the OROC, Ryan stares at Seth and asks what he's doing. Seth cockily explains that he's eavesdropping, and that he "hear[s] like a wolf." We join the conversation Seth's snooping in on, wherein Summer is questioning Marissa's decision not to go to Tijuana. Marissa insists that she can't go, and Summer asks how she's going to get there, because the guys are going down tonight for the "stupid freshman hazing," and Holly's car is full. Summer snits, "Uh! I'm totally stranded!" At the bar, Seth makes a cute, appraising face.
Elsewhere in the OROC, Luke stands with Holly, who is wearing a very poorly fitting tube top and insisting that "what happens in Mexico, you know, stays in Mexico!" Luke whines that he can't, because he and Marissa are together. She says, "I give it a week," and predicts that Luke will miss her. She sexes off, and he watches her. Ryan rounds a corner and witnesses the end of their exchange; he stares down Luke, who guiltily heads off to fetch Marissa.
Seth, meanwhile, is taking a moment at the counter. He slowly eases back, closes his eyes, and then suddenly snaps to his feet. He confidently saunters over to Summer, who is lamenting to her friends, "I don't know! What! Ever!" She makes a show of looking embarrassed as he's all, "Hello, Summer. Seth Cohen. I believe you remember." She stares at him blank-faced, as he concludes that he's not getting a response; he quickly mumbles, "Um, I heard you need a ride tomorrow." She continues to stare at him.
At The Big House, the boys carry their luggage outside, as Sandy trails behind them asking if they have all of his and Kirsten's numbers. Seth's all, "Yes, Dad, I remember our phone number!" Sandy continues -- did they bring enough water? Extra batteries? Air in the tires? Gas in the tank? He's nudging them "huh?" throughout. Hee. That's so dad-like. Seth remarks that it's amazing he turned out so normal. Outside, Summer waits with a mountain of luggage, looking a little Jackie O. and a little Jackie Oh No all at once. Seth offers to get her bags; he picks up a piece of luggage and then falls to the ground under its weight. Sandy enthusiastically introduces himself to Summer: "I had no idea you were into comic books!" She's all, "Comic books? Ew." Seth covers that she "goes for the anime," and Sandy happily repeats, "Anime!" Summer leaves to say goodbye to Marissa, warning Seth not to touch her stuff. Seth announces that it will be an awesome trip, and Sandy leans in to exclaim, "She's hot stuff, son!" Seth concludes, "And now it's ruined." Ryan nods in commiseration.
Summer chases Marissa through Lady Heather's Lair as Marissa insists that she can't go. Summer pleads that she got them a ride, so Marissa should just grab some stuff and go. But the ride's not really the point, since wasn't Marissa going to drive them in the first place? They run into Jimmy in the hallway; he's surprised that Marissa is still there. She explains that she thought she'd stay home this weekend. Jimmy says he thought she was looking forward to the trip. She says she was, but that she thought they could spend some time together. He guffaws that they can't -- he's sorry, but he thought she was going, so he made other plans. Marissa confusedly asks whether he's sure, trying one last time: "Cause I thought maybe we could --" Jimmy cuts her off with: "Look, Marissa. Please. Come on. I can't take care of both of us!" Aw. That's harsh. She sadly concedes, and shuffles off to pack her stuff. Summer chases after Marissa as Jimmy watches, slowly blinks, and looks away.
The girls head out to the car, Marissa looking cute in a green tank top and pale pink short, tiered skirt. She asks who's going with them, and Summer uncomfortably announces that she'll see. Summer throws open the Range Rover's front door, announcing, "Great news! I got Coop to come along!" Marissa, meanwhile, opens the back door to reveal Ryan. She's all, "Oh," and he looks down. She snits her way into the car as Summer settles in up front, announcing, "¡Vamanos! We're goin' to TJ!" Seth is wearing an adorable giant blue and white baseball cap. The car pulls away.
Jimmy and Kirsten paint the walls of his new apartment. Kirsten can't believe he convinced her to do this -- they could have brought somebody in! Poor people paint their own houses, though. Jimmy asks "where the fun is in that," and recalls that it only took them a couple of hours to paint his dorm room -- doesn't she remember? She does remember that his dorm room was the size of a prison cell. He responds that they might be painting one of those, as well. Kirsten, oddly, is wearing a tight, low-cut tank top with another tight, half-unbuttoned tank top layered over it. Jimmy appreciates her help, and laments the thought of being home when Lady Heather and the girls return. Kirsten can't believe he hasn't told them yet, and Jimmy says, "Not exactly." He explains that he was going to tell Marissa, but then "it just seemed...impossibly...hard." Kirsten borrows Sandy's high horse to exclaim, "Because it is!" She insists that Marissa isn't a little girl anymore, and that if Marissa comes home and finds Jimmy gone, she'll never forgive him. Kirsten urges Jimmy to call Marissa, claiming, "She'll still love you. I promise." Jimmy considers Kirsten's advice.
Inside the Range Rover, Marissa looks bored and peeved while Ryan sneaks sideways glances at her. Summer announces that they should be there in three hours, and Seth corrects her that the GPS says the ETA is three and a half hours. She snits, "Well, that's because someone drives like an old woman." Seth rebuts that he's going 70 in a 65 and she's all, "80 is the new 70." Hee. He doesn't think it's so "hee," though, and asks, "What? Who talks like that?" She responds, "Who gets passed by a van full of nuns?" He announces, "Well, they have God on their side, Summer. Okay? I'm not gonna beat Jesus." Summer bitches that she's going to call Holly to see how far ahead the others are; she adds, "And she's a girl." Seth points out that Summer just insulted her own gender, to which she responds, "Not as insulting as it is to you." He's all, "Point taken." Ryan offers Marissa a bottle of water; she curtly declines, but Summer says she'll take it. She whines, "I'm so dehydrated! What is up with this AC? My hair is frizzing out! I feel like Howard Stern!" Seth, however, feels like his "Jewfro benefits from this climate." She's all, "You're Jewish?" His name is Seth Cohen; the likelihood was pretty high. He flatly responds, "Yes," and then adds, "That's why I feel so comfortable in this desert heat." Hee. She squeals that it's a nightmare -- she's sweating to death, they're going ten miles an hour "on, like, a rickshaw," and listening to bad music. Seth snaps that she should not insult Death Cab. She continues, "It's, like, one guitar, and a whole lot of complaining!" Which reminds Seth of "someone else who's doin' a whole lot of complaining, Summer. You!" He continues that he's driving "this vehicle," adding, "I'm gonna drive at the speed that I feel comfortable!" Hee. He claims that it's his music and his snacks, and she asks, "Kudos and Goldfish? What are you, eight?" Seth's had enough, telling Ryan and Marissa to say goodbye to Summer; she asks what he's doing, and he announces that he's going to leave her on the side of the road. He turns the wheel and she leans over to pull it in the opposite direction. They have a tug-of-war with the wheel as Seth flails and yells for her to stop, but she's not letting go; she then begins swatting at him. They drive off the road into a ditch and come to a sudden halt. Summer looks at Seth plaintively.
A door swings open and Seth enters a grimy, gray motel room, carrying Summer's matching luggage. I guess he got a lot stronger between Newport Beach and wherever they are now. ["Or he jettisoned four pairs of her platform wedges somewhere near the border." -- Wing Chun] Summer reacts to the nasty hotel, as expected, with her signature "Ew." Seth remarks that it's not exactly the honeymoon suite. Marissa, meanwhile, tries to make the best of it, insisting that it's only for one night until the axle is fixed. Ryan has stayed in worse (of course he has! He's stayed in Chino!), which Summer snits is "nothin' to brag about." She then runs a finger across the bedspread, snitting, "Do we have to pay extra for the pubes?" It's so gross! She can't stay there! Ryan asks whether she feels like hitchhiking again, and she says no thanks; she spent enough time in a "truck full of chickens." An optimistic Marissa claims they're lucky the truck driver even stopped for them, and Summer snarks that they'd be even luckier if "Cole Trickle here hadn't driven us off the road." Seth asks, "Who the hell is Cole Trickle?" and Summer explains, "Tom Cruise? Days of Thunder?" I've never seen that movie, but "Cole Trickle" might be the stupidest-sounding name I've ever heard. Marissa encourages the others to stay positive, and Seth says, "Yeah. Okay. I am positive that this is Summer's fault." Summer responds, "I am positive that I'm leaving this place with a rash." Seth's all, "Oh, so you plan on making some extra money tonight?" Summer stomps into the bathroom; seconds later she announces, "Ew. This bathroom is so...ew!"
At The Big House, Kirsten is still wearing her strange double tank top get-up as she sorts through the mail. Sandy enters, asking what happened to her -- was she "finger-painting in the back yard?" She explains that she was helping Jimmy paint his new living room, and Sandy deduces that Lady Heather kicked him out. She asks if it's okay that she's helping Jimmy, and he says it's fine, given everything Jimmy's been going through. His eyes wander across the kitchen, and he notices a giant, shiny, yellow surfboard tied with a big, red bow sitting on the table. He exclaims that Kirsten shouldn't have, and she says she didn't; she explains that it just showed up an hour ago, and then asks who Rachel is. He explains that she works at the law firm at which he interviewed today. Kirsten concludes that the meeting must have gone well; he didn't say anything about it, but now they're sending him gifts, so he must have at least let them down easy. Sandy announces that in private practice, he could do more pro bono work than he does now. Kirsten pauses, and then asks whether he's seriously considering the job? He reveals that the salary they offered him is "outrageous." Kirsten points out that Sandy's never been swayed by a paycheck before, and adds, "This family has all the money it needs." Which must be a nice thing to be able to say. Sandy clarifies that it's Kirsten's money; she insists that it's "our" money, but he thinks it's "not really." She responds, "Well, unless you want to buy the Lakers or a Caribbean Island..." Sandy insists that it's not about buying stuff like that, but that "Aruba would be nice." He continues that it's about "contributing," and that he'd have a real opportunity there. She argues, "Yeah! To work for people that you hate!" He's always referring to those people as evil empires controlled by corporate interests and owned by "The Man"! Sandy reminds her that he does "tend to be hyperbolic." Kirsten pleads that the P.D.'s office is his life; she doesn't want him to give it up so he can "buy groceries week." He snaps that she shouldn't "belittle this," because balance is important. Hurt, she asks, "You don't think we have balance?" He curtly responds, "No. We don't. You have all the money." She snaps, "You have all the ideals." And as flattering as that might be to him, what does that say about her? He has a sudden revelation, proposing that Kirsten likes that he doesn't have a lot of money, because that's what makes them different from all the other Newport families. Kirsten busies herself in a cabinet, turning her back on him as he continues, citing all the other women who she never wanted to be like -- married to investment bankers and CEOs. He concludes, "As long as I haven't sold out, you haven't sold out." Kirsten insists that it's not true, but he tells her to face it, "The only thing that keeps you from feeling like Julie Cooper is me!" Burn! Sandy immediately realizes he's pushed it too far and retreats, "But hey. It's just an offer." He heads back toward the surfboard, leaving behind an open-mouthed Kirsten.
Outside the Misery Motel, Ryan stands in front of a vending machine while Marissa presses her back up against a second one. Ryan announces that they have to choose wisely: does she want Ding Dongs or Cheese Sticks? She snits that she doesn't care -- he should pick whatever. He doesn't care either, and she bitchily concludes, "So I guess we'll just have to starve." Ryan asks whether she's ever going to stop being mad at him, and she argues that she's not mad at him -- why would she be? Because she walked in on him with another girl, he explains; she clarifies, "Actually, I think she was a woman." Marissa asks Ryan why she should care about that, and he says he doesn't know, and that it shouldn't be a problem. She agrees that "there's no problem," and he's all, "Except Ding Dongs or Cheese Sticks." She exclaims, "I don't care, Ryan. I don't care about Cheese Sticks! And I don't care about Ding Dongs! And I really don't care that I walked in on you with some girl...or woman. Whatever." Ryan tells the vending machine that the only reason he was with Gabrielle was because the vending machine was "clearly back with Luke." Marissa insists that she wasn't back with Luke; Ryan points out that she is now, and she agrees that she is. She then suggests that, when they get to Mexico, they split up and never talk to each other again. He agrees, and then adds, "By the way, you coulda [sic] knocked first." She asks whether he ever wondered why she came to the pool house, and he angrily announces, "Every day!" He turns to face her, insisting that it's her chance, and that she should clear the air and tell him. She just says, "Cheese Sticks. I hate Ding Dongs." Now I know why I don't like her -- what kind of person doesn't like Ding Dongs?
Misery Motel. Seth watches static on the television and sarcastically says, "That's awesome." Summer snits out of the bathroom wearing a tiny negligee. She asks what he's doing, and he responds, "Almost watching TV -- this is either SpongeBob SquarePants or JAG." Summer orders him off the bed, claiming that the sooner she gets to sleep, the sooner it's morning and the nightmare will be over. She declares that she's not sleeping on the couch, because it's stained and "smells foul," so he should sleep there. He's all, "After you've made it sound so appealing? Right. Have fun. Good night." Summer squeals at Seth to get off the bed, urging, "Be, like, a gentleman." Seth reclines with his hands laced behind his head and tells her, "Chivalry's dead, sugar." She flounces over to join him on the bed and announces that if he makes a move, she'll "rip out [his] jugular." He's all, "Hey! Pillow talk!" Summer snittily snits off to sleep.
We rejoin Ryan and Marissa, who are still outside the Misery Motel, which is cast in strange orange light. Ryan fumbles with the key to the room, while Marissa pissily stands by with crossed arms. She answers her ringing phone and greets Jimmy while Ryan heads inside. We see a quick shot of Jimmy sitting on the floor, his back against the wall of his empty apartment, which probably not a great idea, since the room was just painted. Then again, Jimmy isn't exactly a bastion of good judgment these days. He calls Marissa "kiddo," and asks if she's got a minute. She asks whether everything is okay, and he says, "Not exactly." Marissa sits down on the ground, visibly concerned.
Inside, Ryan makes up the pull-out couch, pausing to listen to Marissa's conversation.
Jimmy insists that it's not an easy thing, explaining that when Marissa gets home, he won't be there. He says, "Your mom and I are, uh --" Marissa cuts him off, flatly concluding, "You're getting a divorce." She can't believe he's telling her over the phone! He claims he was going to tell her before she left, but then he knew she'd stay, and he couldn't let her watch him "pack up [his] life." Tears roll down Marissa's cheeks as Jimmy apologizes, calling her "kiddo" again. He insists that he doesn't want to ruin her trip; he thinks it's good that she went.
Inside, Ryan throws himself down on the bed, contemplating what he just overheard. Marissa quietly enters the room, stifling her sobs and hiding her face. She walks over to sit on the edge of the bed, and Ryan carefully watches her before offering to sleep on the floor. She says it's okay, and continues to sit with her head in her hands. He's slightly blurry in the background as he softly says he's sorry; she thanks him. He watches as she eases herself down on the bed, facing away from him and sobbing. That girl, by the way, is a whole lot of angles. Ryan eases himself down, as well, and then rolls in the opposite direction. The camera slowly spirals upward as we see their two bodies, still, and facing away from each other; the camera continues to spiral upward, to show the other bed -- perpendicular to the pull-out sofa -- with Summer and Seth in the same positions.
Morning. We pan over Seth and Marissa's empty, slept-in bed, then slowly over to Ryan's black-jeaned leg, and across to reveal that he is spooning Marissa and holding her hand. Aw. She wakes up, smiles at their interlocked hands, and remains still. Ryan nuzzles into her neck, and then wakes up, realizes what he's doing, and removes his hand. Marissa looks sad and rolls over on her back. Ryan apologizes, saying that he didn't mean to. She says she knows. They lie side by side as he asks if she wants to go home, but she thinks she wants to stay on the trip. She props herself up, announcing that she's going to go take a shower. As she heads into the bathroom, Ryan touches his mouth, which may or may not be a drool check.
Meanwhile, Summer and Seth sit across from each other at a diner; they each read a section of the paper and then silently switch. He pushes his plate of toast in her direction, and without looking up she picks up a piece and eats it. Then, they both lift their coffee cops and sip in tandem. Sufficiently weirded out, they throw their cups back to the table and self-consciously look away. Seth drums the table and, to break the silence, announces, "So! Tijuana!" He asks whether they should wake up Ryan and Marissa; Summer say no, because they "look so cute together -- vomit." Seth admires Summer's "real sentimental streak" and she responds, "Trouser it, Cohen," because it's too early for his "so-called comedy." Seth insists that she enjoys it, and when she doesn't respond, he adds, "And you know what else I think you enjoy? Me!" Summer snits that it's because Seth's mentally unstable; he replies that, "be that as it may," the facts speak for themselves. He cockily continues, "Might I remind you of a little something that I like to call 'the time that you kissed me by the pool at my grandfather's birthday party'?" Summer asks what he's talking about; he acknowledges that denial is a powerful coping mechanism, but thinks it's time they "paid lip service to [their] lip service." Throughout this conversation, Seth talks so much with his hands that I wonder if Adam Brody knows sign language. In any case, Summer claims that there was "no tongue," and I thought there was, but Seth doesn’t counter, so she's probably right. Seth points out that she agreed to take the trip to Mexico with him, and Summer quickly responds that she needed a ride! Seth then insists that they shared the same bed, but she wasn't going to sleep on the couch! She announces, "It smelled like these eggs!" He cites her eating of his toast, and she argues that she likes crusts! Seth finally tells her to face it -- their chemistry is undeniable. She asks if he knows what else is undeniable, and picks up her fork, screaming, "The pain this fork is gonna cause when I jam it into your eye!" Speechless, Seth leans back and away from her; she awkwardly laughs it off: "I suffer from rage blackouts." Seth just wants the check.
Ryan is putting up the bed when Summer and Seth reenter. He explains that Marissa's showering. Summer says she hopes Marissa's wearing "shower shoes." Seth announces that he brought breakfast, and that the truck is already repaired and out front. Considering that my car was broken into over three weeks ago and I still don't have it back, I'm annoyed. Seth asks if Ryan's ready to go, but Ryan's not sure they're still going. Summer's all, "What?" as Seth looks crestfallen. As Marissa emerges from the bathroom, Ryan explains that Jimmy called with bad news. Summer's voice softens as she asks what's going on. When Marissa doesn't answer, Summer sadly deduces, "They're getting divorced." She rushes to hug Marissa, while the boys look on awkwardly. Summer steps back to say she'll do whatever Marissa wants to do but, "speaking as a child of divorce," she thinks Marissa won't want to be at home right now. This is their last chance for freedom, because when they get back to Newport, it will only be "school and reality." She insists that they should go to TJ and have fun, because "life will suck soon enough." Ryan suggests that Summer might actually be right, and Seth snits that there's a first time for everything. Summer stares at him and he's all, "Rage blackouts. Got it, I'll be in the car." Summer smiles hopefully at Marissa, who agrees to go to TJ.
TJ. Busy street, but where are the piñatas? The camera pans over a large sign that says "Welcome to Tijuana...You can be arrested for immoral conduct." The lyrics to the song on the soundtrack scream, "¡ Me gusta! ¡Me gusta!" (Again, with the high-school Spanish skills -- that means, "I like.") We see random shots of celebrating teenagers and annoyed police officers. Seth leads the others out of a doorway, complaining that he doesn't understand why they needed two rooms; he'll leave Summer his key in case she gets lonely. Summer snaps, "Or, in case I want to smother you with your pillow while you're sleeping," and Seth's all, "Whatever turns you on!" Summer caves and laughs. Marissa suggests that the others are "probably at Boom Boom," but Summer wants to run into the pharmacy first, because drugs are available without prescription in Tijuana, and she needs to make a stop for her stepmother, who is, she snits, already taking all the painkillers available in Orange County. Seth should probably pop into the pharmacy, as well, to "pick up an antihistamine." He adds, "Allergies." Trailing behind them, Marissa awkwardly tells Ryan that he doesn't need to come if he doesn't want to; she clarifies that she's there to find Luke. Ryan earnestly insists that it's fine.
Back in Newport, Sandy pulls a chair up to a table in a restaurant -- amazingly not the OROC -- where Rachel waits. He asks where the partners are, and then snits, "Oh, right. I forgot. Vampires hate the sunlight." When Rachel responds that they didn't want to appear desperate, he questions why they sent her, because "desperation has always been [her] strong suit." She cracks that she's drawing a blank on Sandy's strong suit. I'm drawing a blank on why the writers think the viewing audience would be the least bit interested in this annoying semblance of "witty" banter? Rachel gets to the point: the offer will be pulled first thing in the morning unless the partners hear from Sandy. He avoids responding by extending his gratitude for the surfboard, which he says freaked out his wife by making her believe he was actually considering the job. Rachel insists that he is considering it; as much as she'd like to flatter herself and think that he's there for the "sparkling banter and crabcakes" she knows he's interested. Sandy denies that it will happen: he's been in the P.D.'s office his whole life; it's what he does. Rachel argues that she's giving him "a platform to do it better." Sandy changes the subject, highlighting something on the menu that sounds an awful lot like "sand dabs." Rachel doesn't fall for it, and asks if Sandy doesn't want to see what would happen if he really tested himself, and not just against another overworked, underpaid ADA. He snarks that he always enjoyed beating her; she claims it was because she was "excellent" -- which is why she left; she wanted to do more. She insists that Sandy does too, and tells him that the clock's ticking. She opens the menu, considering the "sand dabs."
At Jimmy's apartment, he and Kirsten fiddle with the fireplace. We join them mid-conversation, as Jimmy says Kirsten was totally right about telling Marissa. Kirsten commiserates that it will take a while, and Jimmy says it will take them all a while to get used to this -- his "swingin' new bachelor pad." Kirsten laughs and climbs a ladder to install a light bulb as Jimmy fixes a shelf. He announces that it's the first time he's ever really been a bachelor: he went straight from Kirsten to Lady Heather. He deliberates before asking whether Kirsten ever has any doubt about her relationship with Sandy; she admits that they have their "issues." Jimmy presses, "You ever think what it would be like...if you and I had ended up --" His voice trails off and she quietly responds, "Sometimes." Kirsten looks very pretty in blue. Finished with the light bulb, she climbs down the ladder, somehow slamming into Jimmy in the process. The camera zooms in on his steadying hand on her back as the music tinkles. They stand face to face, and both appear to be considering their actions. Jimmy leans in and we see Kirsten from behind; her head is bobbing up and down. At first I confused this motion as encouragement, but now I can only think it was nerves. It's unclear, but that kind of encouragement doesn't seem very Kirsten-like. They kiss. She freezes, and then slowly pulls back. Flustered and dismayed, she says she should go. He apologizes for being "totally wrong," and tells her, "Just because my marriage is falling apart doesn't mean I should try to bring yours down." He watches, visibly angry with himself, as she leaves.
Night. TJ. Throbbing music plays while throbbing teenagers dance. Some girl takes a really long time to strut a catwalk. Another girl lies on the bar while a boy does a body shot off her belly. The music sings about being "out of control." Luke and his buddies, one of whom looks like Randy Spelling, do shots. Holly approaches behind Luke, urging him to "back that ass up." Ew. He's reluctant, but she insists that Marissa's not even coming, and that he should join her on the dance floor because she loves this song.
Meanwhile, Ryan, Marissa, Seth, and Summer make their way through the crowd. A random guy gets liquid squirted in his mouth. A random girl gets a pitcher of ice water thrown on her white t-shirt; she squeals and keeps dancing. Seth happily announces, "I love Mexican culture!" The group sidles up to the bar. Ryan and Seth do shooters ejected from plastic guns, while Summer and Marissa do shots. The camera pans upstairs at the club, where Luke and Holly dance, getting closer and closer. Luke makes unappealing orgasmic face, and the camera keeps cutting away and spinning, to hide from us the fact that they can't dance. It's like that Mariah Carey video -- the one where she wears a sailor suit? Suddenly, Marissa and Ryan are upstairs, making their way along the path toward the dance floor. We see that Luke and Holly have progressed from dancing to making out; meanwhile, Marissa and Ryan talk and laugh. Marissa then turns, noticing Luke and Holly's ass-grabby display. Ryan sees her dismay, and turns to look, as well. He then grins. He actually grins.And this time, I'm almost certain it's not a grimace. Summer and Seth join Marissa and Ryan in spectating, and finally Luke notices them. He stops and stares back. We go to commercial on Marissa's shocked face.
Back from commercial; Marissa is still shocked; she gets up in Luke's face, all, "What are you doing? How could you?" Luke apologizes, and she asks why he's sorry. Because he got caught? Marissa yells at Holly not to ever talk to her again, while Holly stands around all hands on her hips and "you're ruining my favorite song"! Summer joins in to call Holly a "bitch," and Holly yells, "Please! He hooks up with everyone!" She proceeds to list all the other girls Luke has hooked up with, including college women from University of California at Irvine. I'm not sure those are girls I'd be impressed with, hooking up with the high-school sophomores. Luke orders Holly to "shut up!" but it's too late; Marissa asks if it's true, and Luke's lack of response is proof enough. Meanwhile, Holly continues to yell that everyone knows, and now Marissa does, too! As Marissa takes off through the crowd, Summer tells Holly that she's "so mean," and Holly snits, "Summer, I. Am. Honest." Summer's had enough, and shoves Holly, yelling, "Her parents are getting divorced, you stupid slut!" Seth jumps in to hold back Summer's arms; he advises, "Walk away, Holly. She suffers from rage blackouts." Hee. Luke starts to chase after Marissa, but Ryan blocks his path and commands him to let her go. Luke yells that it's not about Ryan, but Ryan thinks it is now. When Luke orders Ryan out of his way, Ryan yells, "You don't deserve her!" and then punches him. Luke falls to the ground, and in the process takes out a random guy standing behind him. He gets to his feet, and then turns and takes a swing at the random guy. I started to ask "why," but then realized I couldn't quite expect a rational explanation to why guys fight in bars. As Seth, Summer, and Ryan slip out of the bar, the fight escalates into a full-on brawl.
Outside, Summer heads off to check the hotel for Marissa, while Ryan and Seth take to the streets.
At the Misery Motel, Marissa sits distraught and curled up in a chair. Summer enters, relieved to have found her. Marissa cries that she slept with Luke, and Summer coos, "I know, sweetie." Summer announces that she'll call the boys, but Marissa doesn't want to see them because she's so embarrassed. Summer insists that it's okay, and that they'll just go home. Marissa sobs that she can't go home -- her dad will be gone; her mom will be back, and she has no one. When Summer reaches into her purse for tissues for Marissa, and to sneak out her cell phone to call the boys, the camera zooms in on Summer's stepmother's pills. Summer heads into the bathroom, claiming that she's going to grab their stuff, but really to call Seth and Ryan. Marissa eyeballs the pills. In the bathroom, Summer runs the water while dialing the phone; she announces that she found Marissa, and the boys are relieved. With the boys on the way, Summer yells out to Marissa about dinner -- what's she in the mood for? How about, I don't know, Mexican? There's no answer from the other room, and Summer's all, "Coop? Coop? Coop?" with increasing degrees of irritation and worry. She wises up, runs out of the bathroom, grabs her now-empty purse off the bed, and heads out the door.
The boys are just arriving at the Misery Motel, and Summer meets them out front with the bad news: Marissa's gone and so are her stepmother's painkillers! She asks whether they should split up, but Ryan wants to stick together. They walk through the crowded streets.
Marissa has made her way to an empty bar. She drunkenly does a shot, then pulls the pills from her purse. She pours several into her hand, pauses, and then pours out a bunch more. She rests her head in her hands then quickly downs the pills, chasing them with a shot, which causes her to gag. She cries through her retching.
Back at The Big House, Kirsten drinks wine. Sandy enters and they "hey" each other. She asks how it went with "the suits," and he says it was okay. Kirsten can't believe "summer's over" (but technically, it's Marissa who's almost over) and says that it feels like it goes faster and faster each year. Sandy begins to ask what would happen if he took the job, and Kirsten points out that he's already taken it, hasn't he? He insists that he can still get out of it if Kirsten wants him to. She doesn't answer. Sandy picks up his wine glass, and they stand side by side, not looking at each other. He toasts, "To a new season."
In the bar, Marissa's head drops.
Outside, Ryan, Seth, and Summer look for Marissa through the happy, drunken crowd. As they continue to look, the partying becomes increasingly menacing.
Marissa rolls around on the bar, and then looks across the room to see three men looking at her. She immediately becomes wary, and quickly looks away. This is shot through Marissa's viewpoint, and although the men appear to be leering at her, it may in actuality only be her perception. They may be three businessmen, having a drink, and wondering why there's a young drunken girl rolling around on the grimy bar.
We cut back to Ryan, Seth, and Summer, who are getting increasing upset. And sweaty.
Back in the bar, Marissa stares at the men. A fat one gets up and walks toward her; at first, I was sure he was going to help her (and thus confirm that the threat was only in her mind), but then she hightails it out of there before we can find out. She stumbles out the door of the bar, and props herself up against a beam.
The others are still looking, yelling, "Coop!"
Marissa appears to cross directly behind her friends, knocking people, bending at the waist, and retching. No one notices her or tries to help. She spins in a blurred circle. A mime-faced person menaces her. A pinwheel menaces her. She stumbles out of the crowd and into an empty alley, where she presses her back against the wall, dry-heaves, and finally slowly slides down, where she rolls around all sweaty on the dirty ground. The makeup person charged with shininess really got to...well, shine in this episode.
The Mazzy Star song the pilot starts playing quietly as Ryan, Seth, and Summer walk down now-empty streets. Summer looks up an alley, and notices Marissa's inert forum. We can't hear their voices, but clearly Summer is urging Ryan to go to Marissa. Ryan crouches to her, and gently tries to wake her up. At the mouth of the alley, Seth and Marissa pause and watch in dismay. Ryan very slowly bends to lift Marissa, while Summer hides her face in Seth's chest. Ryan rises with Marissa, in a replication of the scene from the pilot. Seth watches open-mouthed. Ryan slowly advances toward the others, looking tired from bearing so much weight -- both physically and emotionally. He then slows to a stop, bathed in strange red light. He stands there. The camera pulls upward; they fade.
In the fall season of The O.C., Kirsten wants to talk to Seth and Summer about that "surprise little trip" to Tijuana; Seth corrects her pronunciation and tells her she's white. Ryan can't change where he's from, but he can change where he's going, which is into a classroom, where Luke stares him down. Also, Marissa's "fate" will be revealed.