A huge shout-out to Wing Chun, for waiting so patiently for this very late recap, and to everyone on the boards for hanging in there and making this fun.
Warning: Expect foul language. There's no ass, goddammit.
I was wrong before: this is the longest "previously" ever on Blue. Previously on NYPD Blue, Denby discovers a charred, headless body in a dumpster and tells Di, "This has gotta be your partner's ex!" Di sees Denby and what looks like Don hanging out across the street from a coffee shop she's parked in; Di tells Sip she thinks she saw Don and Denby. She asks why, "If Don's alive wouldn't Denby cop to that?" Sip's eyes get all wide -- the very idea! -- and suggests maybe Don turned on Denby. Di asks Kirky how's it going without Don around. Instead of breaking into a song and dance à la Ally McBeal, Kirky gets all weepy and says, "It's an adjustment." Di does not say, "Duh." Di, in a bar with Denby, says, "I'll put a bullet in that brain you wasted." Not like a threat, like a promise. Don smiles. Oh boy.
Yay, its Theo! He and his dad, Sipowicz, are brushing their teethies in front of the bathroom sink. They share the mirror very well. Theo, adorable one, says, "Spit in there." Sip, killjoy, says no. Theo tries again: "Spit into the mirror!" Sip grumbles, "See, I do something once for you and you want me to do it all the time." What I wouldn't do to get my hands on a video if that. Patooie! They brush their little teethies and Theo spits. Sip says, "Let me see your lip." Theo gurgles, "Is it pale?" Sip mumbles, "No, it's purple, normally you're pale." He lets go of Theo's head and they brush, rinse and spit. Sip looks worried as hell.
Cut to Sip dressing Theo. Sip casually mentions that they'll be stopping at Dr. Chronic's before school. As Theo playfully wiggles around, Sip loses it and yells, "This is ENOUGH with this!" Theo, unflappable, says, "Okay, Dad!" Sip's got more, and snaps, "See, this is the smartass tone. I've asked you not to take a smartass tone with me." Hello, he's both four and your offspring, just how do you expect him to talk? Theo murmurs and lays his head on his father's chest. Sip realizes what an ass he was and says, "Sorry." Theo, in an amazing show of spirit, says, "Don't worry about nothing, Shirley Temple." Oh my god -- now we know he's his father's son. How many four-year-olds know who in hell Shirley Temple is?
Kirky enters a darkened room. Fucking hell. It's Don. He's wearing a wifebeater and has that bad orange-y dye job. He's gotten fat; he looks like that asshole from the band Smashmouth. Hey now! Get your game on! Be a rock star! Go play! I hate Don. Kirky has that disgusting hangdog look on her puss she gets when she's around Don. Wipe that face off your head, Kirky. Don chirps, "Stopped by on your way to work?" Yeah, she brought breakfast too. You do like to eat shit, don't you? Kirky grows a spine and snaps, "You're a liar." Don says casually, "Did Kyle wet the bed again? Oh, this is MY fault. Maybe YOU should stop coming over here. I'll call you before we hit the turnpike." Kirky says, "Do you remember what I said I was going to do to you if I saw you again?" Ooh, I do, I do! Get him! Don smirks and says, "Heey, I'm a miracle baby! Back from the dead." There's a slimy noise from behind a door and Kirky says, "Who's in there." Don comes as close he's ever gonna get to looking sheepish and says, "It's not a hooker. It's a guy. It's not a guy hooker." Heh. Kirky opens the door and it's Denby on the crapper, sniffing suspiciously. "That was a travesty of procedure," he says. Ha ha ha. Don chucks Kirky under the chin and says, "Jill, trust me. Go to work. Keep the city safe." Denby calls out, "Our best to your partner," and sniffs again.
Some Hasidim pass by on the gritty, gritty street, and we land at the station house. Sip's at his desk with his arms folded on his desk in front of him, like a nun. Ricky enters. They "mornin'" and "how's it going" each other. Ricky starts busting on him: "You look like you're in school, the way you're sitting." Sip barely opens his mouth to say, "Those days are long gone." Ricky keeps going, "No adult education classes for you!" Sip probably hasn't even heard the Hall and Oates song, that's how far away he is from adult education. Sip has had enough jabs and says, "I stopped with Theo at the pediatrician's today. Then he had me drop him at school." Ricky gets serious and says, "So the pediatrician's not worried." "He drew blood for a test and then he had me drop him at school." Ricky goes into this usual riff about how he used to worry about his sisters, and I start dreaming of a Silver Spoons-era Ricky taking care of his little sisters in a Coal Miner's Daughter kind of dilapidated shack and then I snap out of it just in time to hear Sip say something. "He's not really sick, he's bouncing around. I'm noticing his color." John comes in and says hey. The phone rings and Sip grabs it. "Yeah! Uh-huh. I see. All right. All right. Let me, uh, um, yeah, okay, yeah." He hangs up. "All right, well, I gotta get over there, I gotta get him." Sip stands up and then sits down and says, "Let me call Katie." Ricky offers to come with. Sip's already checked out. "Lost time." He starts blabbing semi-hysterically to Katie about getting Theo a hot dog before they go to the hospital and how long it will take if they take the train and there really doesn't need to be any sad music under all this but there it is. Ricky takes a few paper clips.