Language and nudity? Please be Baldwin please be Baldwin please be Baldwin...
Previously, Ricky gets all bent out of shape when JB disappears, and Mary is annoyed. When he gets annoyed at her, she flips him the bird. That's mature. Ricky cries to Di over JB's death, repeating the now-classic phrase, "I don't know how to live!" Di says she left her manual at home. Kirky yells at Laughlin, telling him to get over whatever's haunting him from his past (a familiar theme on Blue) and says, "I know who I am!" And you ARE somebody, Kirky! Ricky shows up at Di's door. "Oh, I'm drunk." She lets him in anyway. Sip sees Andy Jr. in a coffee shop, but is it really him?
The funky funky keyboards lead us around the gritty gritty city until we wind up at Sip's apartment. He's looking at a photo of Andy Jr. on the mantle. Candles burn to it. Katie comes in and asks if Theo still has a temperature. No, it broke last night. "In a few hours he'll be putting you through your paces." Yeah Katie, how much eye-misting, throat-lumping cuteness can you handle? Sip says he's worried about Ricky, since last night he left to "get his load on" because JB died. Katie puts her hand on her face in the internationally recognized gesture of "Yikes!" as Sip says, "I don't know how to help him... he may be at a crisis point." Katie offers the wisdom that "maybe he is." Gee, thanks. She goes on to say that she's been getting visions, and "Do you ever see Andy Jr.? I see him." Andy turns away from her and stares into the mirror. "I see him in other people. I feel that, loving them, I get to love Andy again. The first time I saw Andy was the first time I met (Ricky)." Sip grumbles, "For all the good I'm going him..." Don't ever forget; it's all about Sip. Katie flakes some more, saying, "God will put people in his life that will help carry his sorrows." Sip says he saw Andy Jr. in a dream too and... here's Theo! Theo busts out with the extra-loud, wide open mouthed, little-kid cough that sounds like COFF COFF. Even that's adorable. He hugs Katie and says all in one breath, "I was sick now I need you to play with me I feel better now Daddy." Sip kisses him and goes off to work. Katie asks what Theo wants for breakfast and he says "Candy." Please, you're already sweet enough! Katie offers to make chocolate chip pancakes with peanut butter and I wish Katie would come over and cook for me sometime.
Woosh! Pound those drums to drown out the sound of the subway that is the pulse of the... oh, you know.
Some establishing shots of (gritty!) New York City lands us at Diane's apartment. Danny wakes up on the couch, instantly embarrassed. This scene should have subtitles that read, "I am such a stupid idiot! Stupid stupid stupid! Now she'll never go out with me!" Di comes out in a cotton robe and says casually, "Morning," Ricky jumps out of his skin and says morning back. "The john's past the kitchen," and Ricky says "Whoo!" and runs over there. Di pours two mugs of coffee. "Want some coffee?" Ricky says no thanks, but when she places the mug down in front of him he changes his tune real fast and says, "Oh god, thanks." Ricky goes sluuurp. Di glances over at the mantle and says, "Did you ever see a picture of Bobby?" She sticks a frame in his face and Ricky says, "Everything you hear, he was such a great cop." Don't forget his great ass. Di says vaguely, "I was so different when I was with him." Mmm-hmm? Ricky goes, "Happy?" No, not that. "Different from how I though I could be - from the way I grew up." So, you mean taller? Did your boobs get bigger? Ricky is all like, let's trade war stories, but Di blows him off. Ricky then says there's "plenty things" he's uncomfortable with, and boy am I not looking forward to that conversation. Di puts on her philosopher's hat and says, "It's just a question of something coming into out lives. We have to be able to see it. We have to want to." Has Katie been holding seminars or something? Ricky jokes, "So you don't recommend prolonged bouts of drunkenness." He thanks her and Di says, "everyone needs a place to crash," while touching his face maternally. Ricky looks a bit stupefied. Do I kiss her now? No, you don't. Not ever.
At the station house, Sip is glowering at his desk. From time to time he morphs into a little black bomb with the crackling fuse burning down. Medavoy has his head so close to his desk it looks like he's ducking. Baldwin comes up and flattens himself behind a wall, hissing at Medavoy, "What's Andy's problem?" We don't have TIME for all that now! Just save yourself! Fancy comes in, sees Sip simmering, and asks how's it going. Sip grits his teeth and says not bad, and Fancy says good! and runs to his office, slamming the door behind him. There's a little puff of smoke where Fancy was standing a moment before. Sip starts ranting, "That's leadership for you, ask a question and duck the answer." John, taking his life in his hands, turns around and asks, "So everything is not all right?" Sip turns around, fixes his eyes on John and KABOOM! John gets to make one more horrified expression before he evaporates in a puff of smoke.
A Chinese man enters. He's Charlie Sung, one of Greg's old buddies/bosses. Greg introduces Baldwin to Charlie and he says, "Not afraid to walk the streets with this new partner." Everyone loves Baldwin. So, Charlie needs to talk to Medavoy alone, they go into the coffee room and rats out some guy named Joe Chang, who's been partying with a bunch of hookers on Tommy Chow's dime. "Collar him, Greg. Send him on a bus out of town." How faintly ominous! Greg says he "didn't hear that last name," and Charlie apologizes. "I don't got my head on straight." Medavoy remembers nights like that! Whatever.
A young white guy in a brown suede jacket and a pretty black girl come into the stationhouse. They want to see a detective about a murder. Sip jumps on top of them before John has barely turned around. They young couple are Roger and Sugar. Roger's parents have been murdered in their place on East 12th Street, shot dead in the kitchen. He didn't call 911 - he "just had to get out of there." Sip drags them out and as they pass Di and Ricky, Sip barks, "Wanna work a homicide?" then to Ricky, "Those are the same clothes you were wearing yesterday." Busted!
Here we get a gritty dialogue-less montage of Roger, Sugar, Sip, Ricky, Di and Baldwin entering the apartment. The music is mournful and creepy. The motion is slightly slow. A man is in a chair, shot in the chest. A woman lies on the floor in a puddle of blood, shot in the head. Sugar recoils, Baldwin holds her. Roger drops to the floor, his back against the wall. Ricky touches the woman's head and says, "Aah - half her face is gone." Sip walks into another room, finds a small chunk of something and brings it back to where the bodies are. "They were shot in here. This is her tongue." Gross. Sip is starting to creep me out. Or maybe it's the music. Or maybe it's the bloody corpses. "They were shot in here, and moved over here. Put in these chairs. They were murdered in here...and moved here." Sip looks at Roger, slumped and leaning against the wall, and Roger stares back. Sip stares hard. Rogers stares as hard back. Sip stares at Roger so hard that maybe Roger will just break down and confess to the murder of his parents, but we're only twenty minutes into the show. Sip's face takes up the whole frame as he stares so hard at Roger I can't believe his head doesn't explode like in Scanners. If Sip ever looked at me that hard I'd confess - to loving Dennis Franz's fine acting abilities!
Roger is being interviewed in the pokey. He's drawing them a map: "This is the course of my actions. Want me to initial it?" He does and Ricky says thanks. Sip tries to ask a question and Roger interrupts: "There were no angry partners in my father's dry cleaning business." Sip glowers.
Baldwin is interviewing Sugar. Lucky Sugar. She's saying she met Roger in a chat room called "The Rainbow Room", which does not have a gay theme or a little-kid-TV-show theme; it's about interracial dating. Hmm. Baldwin starts laying the pressure onto Sugar, saying "This is life and death here," and "Are you going to stand beside him? Are you in love?" Sugar is folding faster than a mom on laundry day, saying weepily, "I just feel so PRESSURED! I don't know if I can stand it!" Baldwin offers to lighten her load, and she asks him to hold her. Bitch! He does and then asks if she has anything to tell her. Nope. She just wants to FEEL UP BALDWIN. Baldwin looks over her shoulder and says, "Not yet, but soon."
Baldwin tells Fancy Sugar likes him. Duh! HE thinks he may get her to confess but he doesn't want "to put anyone's nose out of joint." Look out for Hurricane Sip!
Roger is telling Sip that his parents hadn't had any extra-marital affairs. Sip, grouch, asks what Roger does when he "isn't four steps ahead of everyone." He works in computer programming, of course! He went to "Lehigh College in PA" and now is "heavily involved with Sugar," even though they've only been together for five weeks. Were his parents steamed that he was dating a black girl? "I never let my parents input on the subject of who I date. How did we get from my parents being murdered to me dating Sugar?" Sip yells, "I bet it's only a buck fifty cab ride!" Roger adds that he "thinks Sugar and I will be getting married in the near future." Sip says, "Swell. Good luck."
Ricky and Sip go into the hall. Baldwin enters. How's it going. He thinks it's going pretty well with the girl. Ricky says, "I hope it's not rapport." Baldwin ahems and --- wait for it --- "ANYWAYS." Sip glares and tells Ricky, "That's your quota of wisecracks for the day." That's what I love about MBTV - we have no quotas of wisecracks. Too much ain't enough.
Fancy's office. Baldwin feels that he can make Sugar talk. Sip gets all steamed and Ricky, not helping, says he likes the idea. Baldwin says to Sip, "I'm not trying to take your interview." Sip loses it and yells, "I'll keep my opinion on that to myself since it don't count for nothing ANYWAY," and runs out of the room. Ricky excuses himself, "I have to go burp my partner." Hee!
In the bathroom (where else?), Sip is sulking. Ally - I mean Ricky - comes in and starts yelling at Sip. "Now we got it where it's supposed to be, keeping you happy!" Don't you ever forget it, Ricky! It's all about Sip. Ricky reveals he stayed the night at Diane's and Sip becomes a blinking machine for a moment, blinking up a storm, blinking to beat the band, blinking until he can't blinks no more. "She let me sleep my load off on her couch!" Oh. Sip resumes normal blinking speed. Sip says he's "got other things to worry about" than Ricky. Ricky apologizes. Sip says they should go and "let Jones demonstrate his rapport with the girl." Ricky cracks, "you figure his rapport is pretty big?" WE CAN DREAM!
More gritty street scenes, including a gritty little MINIATURE PINCSHER, a breed my dog hates, and we land back in the pokey with Roger. Baldwin brings in Sugar. And Roger starts freaking out. "How are you DOING... we're going to get through this." Subtle. Baldwin puts his arm around Sugar says they want to go over the diagram Roger drew. Sugar is still scared and Roger yells at her to SHUT UP! Baldwin says, "Take it easy, Roger!" and Roger screams "Take your arm off her!" Yeah! I mean, what a FREAK Roger is! Baldwin asks, "Do you want me to take my arm away, or does it make you feel better, Sugar." Well, DUH it makes her feel better. How could it not? She's flesh and blood! Sugar decides she doesn't want to look at the diagram. "I wasn't involved." Roger loses it some more and yells, "No one said you were so SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH." Baldwin is like, oh my! Sugar says "Don't call me stupid!" Roger calls her stupid again. The Blue cops decide that Roger and Sugar should have separate interviews. Roger, clearly nuts, says "Stupid black BITCH. He's gonna take control of her mind." Ricky says, "They did seem to have rapport." Buh-dum-dum.
Sugar is sitting in Baldwin's lap and crying. I don't envy her, much. Sure, she's in trouble, but she gets to touch Baldwin! She cries and cries and says "All I did was talk to somebody in a chat room!" News flash! The Internet is evil!
Sip starts in on Roger. LOOK OUT, Roger. "Brainwashing her, calling her a co-conspirator in a double murder, posing your parents... after you killed Sugar is when the fun would REALLY start for you, wouldn't it!" Roger screams, "You are SICK for KNOWING." Sip says "Yeah. Wanna tell me about it?"
Charlie Sung walks in. John summons Medavoy for him. Charlie says, "Jackpot. Bells going off." It seems Tommy Chow's apartment was ransacked." Charlie adds. "Like a Chinaman rolled up in an Oriental rug," like that means anything to anyone. Medavoy decides to look into this, but first, do you know what John the PAA has in his desk drawer? A miniature Zen rock garden. John looks embarrassed, Charlie looks bored. Medavoy gets all into using the tiny rake as the camera, Matrix-style, whirls around Medavoy's goofy face. "It brings you harmony when you're all wrought up." Charlie says, "Are we gonna go, or what?" Medavoy scuttles off to get his coat. John puts the rock garden back in his drawer and slams it shut. Charlie says as an apology, "I'm sure it's a very nice rock garden." John says, "They're not for everyone." Then they Kung fu fight. Kidding.
Medavoy, Baldwin and Charlie knock knock knock on a hotel room door. A Chinese kid , Joey, wearing only a bathrobe opens the door. He is wigging out. He introduces two call girls, giving each other pedicures, and says there are two more in the Jacuzzi. Baldwin goes to get the Jacuzzi girls. One sasses him, "Wanna help me work this nozzle?" Oh man, EVERYONE is hot for Baldwin. The other asks, "Who are you?" Baldwin says, "Use your imagination." The first one says, "If I use my imagination, you're getting into this tub." I'm not jealous. Much.
Charlie is freaking out about how much damage Joey has done to the hotel suite. Joey keeps whipping out tons of cash to pay for it. "This money I party!" Medavoy says, "We see how you party. Did you do something to Tommy Chow?" Joey, totally high and out of his mind, says, "He took transportation fee for eight years. Does it looks bad?" Yeah, it looks bad. He goes and opens a chest and pulls out Tommy's severed head, holding it up high. The call girls scream. Medavoy makes one of the Jacuzzi call girls use their towel to cover Tommy's head. We see her ass. Whatever. Joey yells, "Sorry bastard! No more transportation money for Tommy! I'm arrested now! I have two good days, Charlie!" Totally gratuitous everything.
Back at the station house, Ricky comes into Mary's office. Wanna have dinner? Mary's like, why don't you have dinner with whoever you stayed with last night? But she does want to pick up her stuff. Yay! They're breaking up! Ricky tries again but Mary, making sense for once, says, "My mother ended up hating my dad for the same things she fell in love with him. Not me." Ricky says, and what else is there TO say, "ANYWAYS." So Mary's coming over later to get her stuff. Let that be IT, please.
Sip's muttering to Di. "Gonna murder the girl, this Roger." Di glances. Sip says, "Looks like Ricky was a couch-flopper." Hee hee. Di says yeah. "You were some help." Di says, "I got to tell him about Bobby. Danny just needs to love someone. Then everything will change for him." Sip says, "Well, that's good." I forgot I was watching Oprah. Oh wait, I'm NOT.
Greg's having a drink with Charlie. He's waxing on about Biloxi, Mississippi. "They deal Pai Gow down there." Yeah, go for the gambling - stay for the famed Southern hospitality! So he decides to go, since his ass will become the theoretical grass if he sticks around after ratting out crazy Joey. They shake hands, say so long, good luck. Charlie says, "You're the last guy I talk to in New York City." He forgot to say "gritty." After he leaves, Greg drinks more beer. Did I see a tear in his beer?
A sad flute plays. Mary is folding clothes as Ricky watches her. The camera waves down to reveal a sock on the floor, then up to watch Ricky retrieve it for her. "You dropped your sock. I wasn't with no one else last night. I got real drunk and crashed on Diane's couch." Mary keeps folding. "She didn't want you to drive?" Ricky starts speechifyin'. "I know you care about me. My eyes are open to that. Please don't give up on me." Mary, don't listen to him! RUN. Run like the wind! Fold your socks like the wind and get the hell out of there! Mary ignores me and says, "I don't want to. In this relationship, packing and unpacking is no problem." Well, since the two of you have an ocean liner's worth of baggage between you, packing and unpacking is ALL YOU WILL EVER DO. They embrace and Ricky looks over her shoulder into the mirror. Thinking about baggage, no doubt. Or packing something. Ahem.