I'll just come out and admit it: I'm 30 years old and I somehow love this show. I haven't gotten sucked into any of the Real Housewives insanity or Top Chef or even Project Runway, but somehow this? I have no idea, but here I am, happy to fill in for Montykins. ...And previouslies: PC was sort of gay, Kelli hired a voice coach, PC was an ass to the "children." Sebastian didn't want to be friends with Taylor after she chose her public school ex, so PC and Jessie take her on as a project. Jessie interviews for a PR internship. The interview process made her feel like a prostitute. And Montykins weecapped it all for our enjoyment.
So, here we are, at ... Fashion Week, apparently. Jessie explains to us what it is in case there are non-New Yorkers watching, because none of us will have ever heard of such a thing as Fashion Week. Jessie says Fashion Week is New York, and she'd do anything to break into fashion. Except, you know, designing stuff. And she's certainly not pretty enough to model. So PR is pretty much the only way to go, other than being rich and just watching (which is the route I'm guessing she'll actually take, despite this show's script). Jessie was the youngest person interviewing at Charlotte Ronson. She says the other interviewees are "a bit pathetic" for having the same amount of work experience as her (read: none). Surprise! She gets the job. Totally not a set-up or anything, either. She starts right away, it being Fashion Week and all.
Jessie walks into the Fashion Week tent, looking for Matt, who works for Charlotte Ronson. She says she's nervous, but mostly looks annoyed. She finds Matt, who tells her what articles of clothing she should take off, since they're not black (it looks like he must have asked her to wear back). She looks around at the other interns, who are all gossipy and friendly with each other. Jessie just stands and watches. There are too many interns, according to accented intern Sofia. Jessie's disappointed at how little there is to do. Matt tells Sofia and Jessie to guard a door. She hates it. So she and Sofia decide to just go watch the show instead. Jessie claims they're still guarding the door, but they're so not. Kristen Bell is in the crowd. Surprisingly, Jessie thinks this internship isn't really for her. She apparently quits on the spot and thinks about other options for her future.
Taylor's waiting for Cole so they can go to a fashion show with PC. Cole points out PC's not even her friend and talks down to her. They try to find PC, as Cole continues to talk smack about PC. Until he shows up with a friend. They're both entirely too cool in their sunglasses. Inside. PC explains that Taylor's mysterious and he wants to figure out how she pulls that off without even wearing sunglasses indoors. Okay, I'm possibly embellishing a bit. Just then, Taylor sees Amanda Bynes and freaks. How. Embarrassing. It's not even one of the good celebrities. PC tells Taylor to be super cool and not freak out if she sees a celebrity. Then they all sit. Taylor still wants to meet Amanda Bynes. They find their four front-row seats for the Jill Stuart show. Cole spots Paris Hilton, but PC really doesn't care. Taylor even talks about how dumb it is to wear sunglasses inside, but then points out that even Paris Hilton's doing it. Right, because she's a celebrity and is trying to hide. For PC, it's just an affectation.
The fashion show starts and we get a weird montage of PC and his shaded friend talking fashion as Cole talks about how tall a model is, or how mean she looks, or how her hat looks like a Mary Poppins hat. PC tries to explain to them that it's about more than the clothes. Taylor realizes fashion is art. And PC feels like he's helped Taylor out, and opened her horizons. Whatever that means. As PC and his friend leave, PC sweetly says "She seems a little less retarded today." I can see why Taylor wants to be his friend. He has so much to teach her about etiquette and class.
Sebastian's also waiting to go to a fashion show. He's meeting Kelli, whom he invited to go with him, since he has backstage passes and stuff. She looks cute, with a side hairpiece and a big shirt dress. Sebastian's not into fashion, but is more excited about hanging out with Kelli. Back in the dressing room, they don't pay attention to the hair and makeup going on around them, but instead talk about PC. Kelli thinks he's a dick, and Sebastian seems to agree, based on how he treated them all at Camille's party. Somewhere else, another of PC's girlfriends talks about how much fun an afterparty is going to be. Turns out his friend is the editor in chief of a magazine called Social Life. So networking is her job, which means tonight will be "insane." Back to Sebastian, who's telling Kelli how mean he was to Taylor when she wanted to meet up last week. Kelli explains to us what happened between Taylor and Sebastian. Then she tells him that he shouldn't be mean to Taylor, because that shows he cares, "So do you care?" Sebastian is sort of dumbstruck, because for all of his making hooking up with girls a habit, he knows very little about caring for an actual girl. He tries to blab his way out of it, but Kelli's not impressed, all "That's fine." Sebastian wants to hook up with Kelli now, and he suggests it to her, but she's all, "Friends." She's not going to be his backup girl. Sebastian thinks Kelli's bi-polar because she flips from flirty to angry.
As Sebastian and Kelli settle into their fifth-row seats at the Erin Fetherston show, PC and his socialite magazine editor friend settle into their front-row seats at the same show. PC talks about how fun the front row is, at Fashion Week or anywhere else. Sebastian notices PC, but doesn't want to mention it to Kelli because she hates him. PC talks about how cool the fashion show is, how great the designs are, blah, blah. Sebastian says the fashion show was "interesting," and he just feels like "no one would wear that shit ever." Hee. I love him. And I agree. He guesses it's art, but he looks totally bored.
PC sees Kelli and Sebastian leaving after the fashion show. PC talks about how awesome the show was. Sebastian agrees. PC calls Kelli aside to talk in private. He apologizes for being out of hand at dinner. He should have censored himself, since he knew he was being an asshole. Sebastian stands by, looking bored. Kelli says there's really not that much difference in their maturity levels, and PC says he disagrees but whatever. Nice apology, asshat. PC feels like Kelli proved his point about her immaturity. He tells her he knows they're not going to be friends, and she says she feels like she's fighting with a chick. Sebastian looks impressed. PC was expecting Kelli to be more calm while he called her immature. Sebastian felt no need to defend her, since she handled her own well. And they're not even hooking up. Kelli doesn't really care if he doesn't want to be her friend. She recaps the fight for Sebastian as they walk away. She calls him a douchebag.
The day, PC (in sunglasses) meets up with Jessie (in sunglasses) and the sunglassed friend from the first fashion show (still in sunglasses). I think her name is Kat. Jessie's already heard about the fight with Kelli, and PC admits he was sort of schooled. Jessie thinks the chances are he asked for it. Kat and Jessie are going to another fashion show, Pamela Roland. Jessie tells us again how much she loves fashion. PC runs into his magazine editor friend again. Her name's Devorah. After meeting her, Jessie interviews that "you can tell when someone's not from New York, and just not, like, a real person." She is so smart. I really think she deserves to get into Harvard. Devorah's sweet and compliments' Jessie's necklace, but Jessie wants to go. PC wants to introduce PC to someone first. Jessie finds that people in the fashion ind
ustry aren't always what they say they are, and she hates that. She'd rather just be the bitch that she is. In fact, Kat and Jessie have taken PC's front-row seat, and Kat won't give it back to him. Jessie blames it on him being phony and hanging with his new friends. PC's so pissed that he's still calling her names that have to be bleeped in his interview later. And he calls her fat twice. So, PC agrees that modeling isn't her ticket into the fashion industry. Jessie thinks PC should get over not getting the front-row seat because he's not even a girl. He says he wanted to put a bag over Kat's head and kill her. He also calls her a cunt. Man, that guy is classy. He and Jessie deserve each other. After the show, there's a passive-aggressive showdown out front, and Jessie acts above it and leaves.
Camille and Kelli are shopping. Kelli talks about meeting her voice coach. Right now she's waiting to meet a stylist who will help with her music career. The voice coach wants Kelli to call herself Kelli! Kelli thinks that's fine, but Camille thinks it's weird that the coach doesn't think Kelli can be who she is. Kelli thinks Camille doesn't get it, because she doesn't know how to be famous. Camille thinks Kelli's great the way she is and doesn't need to change, but she guesses a heart over the "i" would help her be more bubble gum. Kelli's so annoyed at Camille for liking her the way she is. That bitch.
Jessie's now moved on to a job at Carmen Marc Valvo. For this one, she'll be working at an exclusive press event. She's running late, because she had to change her outfit. She doesn't show up, and the guys in there are saying they've waited and she's not there. They really don't see the point of her being there. Carmen himself scolds Jessie, and she says she was in school and had a French test, so he forgives her. She jumps right in to her new job, working with Frank, who handles everything for Carmen. Jessie thinks this is nothing like Charlotte Ronson. Because here she gets to talk to people she sees as important. Jessie explains PR to us: It's important for Carmen to be a household name. Which is why they gave someone on a TV show a job, obviously. She says this is her dream job.
Kelli's meeting with a "celebrity stylist" named Lauren, at the bidding of her voice coach. They're meeting at the Walter fashion show. Kelli brought her mom and Camille. Kelli now has a voice coach, a producer, and a stylist. Camille asks a lot of questions about what Lauren's going to do with Kelli's image. Camille thinks it's weird that a 17-year-old needs a stylist before she has a career. I think Camille should be Kelli's manager. She's tough and thinks about all the angles, such as: GET A GIG FIRST. Kelli knows that she's working with the right person in Lauren because she works with famous people. They pick out clothes at the fashion show. Kelli thinks it's incredible.
PC's heading to the Carmen Marc Valvo show that Jessie invited him to. He decided to bring his skater-looking friends, Trey and Zach, along. They show up, and Jessie, to her credit, is sweet and says it's nice to meet them. She's annoyed that he brought his entourage, though, because she wanted PC to meet her bosses without his skeevy-looking friends. She tells us why this episode got its name: "Guests of guests do NOT bring guests." She thinks PC should know better. PC says Trey's a stylist and Zach's a photographer, so they're the perfect crowd to bring. One of them mentions that Devorah's coming, too, and Jessie gets even more unhappy if that's possible. It's her first day of work, and she doesn't need to worry about this.
They talk about school, and PC says he went for a couple periods, but ends up admitting he didn't go home last night. He was out with these two guys all night. He did change his clothes, though, before school. Jessie says it's none of her business what PC does with his new friends but something just doesn't feel right about this. PC says he has two papers to do tonight, and one of his friends says he has all night to do them, and can do it between 4 a.m. and 8 a.m. Jessie would like PC to find new friends who won't convince him to do things he shouldn't. Devorah shows up, and PC tells her she looks stunning. Jessie just sits there, feeling like the outcast. PC tells Devorah she looks stunning, and she says she has to; it's her job. Jessie doesn't know Devorah and thinks the whole thing with her talking to PC is fucked up. It grosses her out.
Jessie calls PC to the side, and tells him she's hurt that he brought an entourage to something she invited him to that was important to her. She doesn't think he should go out tonight, and he knows that. He says he's not. Jessie thinks he should get to know people better before hanging out with them. Devorah wonders why Jessie's always upset about something, and he says he doesn't want to talk about it. When Devorah's car comes, PC says he wants to go to the bar with her for, like, five minutes. Jessie sits all alone at her big first night at her job. Commercials.
Camille and her mom are going to the spa. Camille says it's great to pamper themselves since there's so much stress and anxiety in the prep school scene. While they're getting their hair done, Camille's sister calls. She locked herself out of their house. They tell her to walk in the park, or go to church, or something. That's the whole segment and then more commercials. Why does this show do that?
We're back with Sebastian in a very staged-looking diner. He says it's a date with a girl named Daniela, a hot girl he met at a party. He speaks French to her. He wants to hang out with her and get to know her better. He laughs nervously, because that obviously means he wants to hook up with her, as the kids are calling it. Sebastian asks if Daniela's a vegetarian and she's not, so he tells her how annoying that is and then awkwardly mentions Taylor by name. Daniela knows Cole, and thinks he's a cool guy. This could not be any more set-up if it were on The Hills. Her knowing Cole makes things much worse, then he finds out she goes to public school and he decides he can't go out with her. She asks to touch his hair, but he thinks that's weird. He's not a dog. Worst date ever. Except for every other date Sebastian's had on this show. He's the king of awkward, but he always blames the girls.
Taylor and her public school friend discuss the fashion show. Her friend thinks it's sort of dumb, but Taylor loves Paris Hilton, and wanted to touch her. She then says she's loves PC, who embodies the whole private school scene for her. She says that they enjoy each other's presence. She's not attracted to him, though, but she thinks he's cute. She says PC's reputation is that he gets it on with everyone, no matter who they are. She says he's into girls and guys. She's not sure if it's cool to be bisexual, but it's cool that he's bisexual. She keeps talking about how he dresses, and I fall asleep.
Jessie's first day at the office. Frank greets her warmly, and says he needs her help because they're doing a charity fashion show and she needs to go through a bunch of old dresses in a warehouse in New Jersey. Frank asks Jessie if her friends had fun the other night, and she makes it clear that PC is her friend, but she doesn't know the entourage. Frank keeps on grilling her about it, and it's obvious he's very upset about it. But then he moves on and tells her he'll see if the car's ready to go to Jersey. Carmen comes out and says hi to Jessie, and then she heads out. She says you just have to be a go-getter and not burn bridges to be good. Is walking out of your job at Charlotte Ronson on the first day considered being a go-getter or not burning a bridge? Hmmmm.
They arrive at the warehouse in Jersey, where there are eleventy billion dresses. She feels like she's in heaven, but now she has to find these dresses that aren't organized at all. Frank keeps finding the right dresses, and he says it's because he knows them better than her. J
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essie felt like Frank really trusted her and threw her into the job. They talk about when she comes back to work week. I'm not sure what kind of schedule she works, but she did that nighttime party, which was at least a couple nights earlier, and then works one day, and then isn't working again until the week. I guess it's a part-time thing since she's in school, and not every day? I probably shouldn't judge since I didn't even have a job in high school.
PC waits at a coffeeshop for Jessie, who greets him by saying it's not the best day. He tells her not to start with the bad mood, and she tells him to fuck off. He interviews that he loves her, but she makes it tough to be friends with her. She tells him about her first day of work, and how his company was mentioned. She says that both Carmen and Frank mentioned it, and she tells him the rule: "Guests of guests don't bring guests." He thinks she's just trying to fight, but she says it risked her job. She thinks he took the fact that she invited him to something almost as a joke. He wonders what was wrong with his friends, whom he says are polite, hip, and fun. She says she just wanted him there. He asks if that's why she's mad, and turns the tables, saying she's bringing her personal life into her job. She says she's 17 and has never had a designer like Carmen offer her a position. He says he's proud of her. She wants them to respect her for the job, but they told her that they didn't think PC's friends were the company she kept. He asks her to be blunt right now, but she says she has a guard up, which he's known all their lives. She says she doesn't want him surrounded by people who might want to use him. She wants to protect him, and doesn't want people to use him for his money. She starts crying and has to stop her interview. And she cries with PC. He says he loves her and would do anything for her and knows she'd do the same. He asks if there's anything he can do, like send Frank or Carmen a note. He'll go to his office or do anything else to fix it. She just really wants it, but doesn't answer.
time: Jessie bitches about how her family has always saved PC's ass. Someone tells her to let him fail, but she says she can't let him fail and be his friend, knowing she let him fail. She sort of has a good heart, weirdly. Is it possible she's become somewhat likeable? Or have I lost my mind? PC parties hard. Sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll. PC asks Camille personal questions about her relationship. Cole invites his ex-girlfriend, Denise, somewhere with Taylor because he wants them to be friends. Taylor's not please about this. She says she can be a bitch too. Okay, that has to be scripted, because I just won't believe that sweet girl can be a bitch. Also, I love this show decidedly less after this episode. Was it just me, or did it feel even more fake than usual, with a big huge pile of Fashion Week product placement added to the mix? Ick.
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DeAnn is a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.
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