I have to preface my recap by saying that I have never watched this show before in my life. I prepared for this writing by reading Alex's recaps and reading some other websites, but I apologize in advance if I make any mistakes. I'm learning!
The credits set up the premise of the show: Michael Wiseman falls in front of a subway, and his brain is rescued by a secret government agency and put into an artificially created man. He gets to continue to live in this super body, but he can't contact anyone from his former life upon penalty of death.
The opening vignette is a total rip-off of The Twilight Zone. Some text on the screen informs us that the setting is Coney Island. There is a voice-over talking about fear: "Fear is a contrary companion. You stay, he goes. You talk, he steals your voice." The voice-over continues talking about the nature of fear as we see a woman climbing a giant metal tower. A crowd has gathered to watch, and numerous emergency vehicles and personnel are on the scene as well. A guy runs out of the crowd towards the tower, but he is restrained by two fireman, and he yells out that the woman is scared to death of heights. The woman is still climbing, and they show a shot from her point of view to accentuate how high up she really is. She doesn't look very scared. In fact, she is smiling, and she lets her feet dangle so that she is hanging from her hands. Then, she lets her hands go and drops, smiling all the time. People in the crowd cover their eyes, and the man (the woman's husband?) is restrained by firemen. The voice-over concludes, "You can always smell fear. Always." So, this episode is about people's fears and how to overcome them. Keep that in mind, because you'll only be reminded of it, oh, about a thousand times in the hour.
A man is lying on a couch in a therapist's office. He tells us that he is forty-eight years old, and that he keeps thinking about how many opportunities he has missed in his life, instead of the success he has achieved. He doesn't want to get out of bed in the morning, because he thinks nothing will ever be new again. Then he goes out and buys a convertible sports car, and he feels a lot better. Actually, he says he's thinking about running away and starting over. The therapist says, "This is really still about that woman, that Lisa, isn't it?" The guy on the couch snaps and says that if the therapist has a professional opinion, she should just state it instead of phrasing it like a question. He's a lawyer, and he doesn't ask his clients if they did anything illegal. What an ass. The therapist must agree with me, because she proceeds to rip him a new one, telling him he is scared, frightened and unhappy, and that he won't take a risk because of fear. (See how it ties into the show's theme?) She finishes up by calling him a "cowardly little man" who won't try to save his marriage because it's difficult and won't try end it because it's painful. She adds an afterthought, "And I think it's pathetic." Wow, that was probably really unprofessional but she kicked ass. The guy says, "We covered a lot of ground there, huh?"
Average Guy is lifting weights and he tells Doc to say when. Doc is clearly not listening to him because he is lost in thought. A.G. says when for himself and puts the weight down. He awaits further instructions, but the Doc is still thinking. Finally, A.G. clears his throat and the Doc tells him to do "thirty-five miles on the treadmill." A.G. says he's tired of working so hard and not getting any "brownie points," and suggests that instead they do "mental things." He hauls out some old brain-teaser chestnuts. Just for your amusement, here they are: A plane crashes on the border of New York and Pennsylvania. Where do you bury the survivors? The answer is nowhere because you don't bury survivors. A.G. rattles this off without even giving the doc a chance to answer. The second one is that a guy is found stabbed in a cabin in the middle of the woods in winter, and to the dead body is a puddle of water. What was the murder weapon? The answer is a knife made of ice, which then melted. The Doc looks about impressed as I am with these puzzlers. That is to say, not at all. The Doc suggests they call it a day, and they both get up to leave. The Doc stops and starts recounting the vignette we saw earlier about a woman, whose husband claims she is deathly afraid of heights, who climbs a three-hundred-foot tower and then lets go, and falls to her death. The impact was so great that there wasn't enough of her brain left to study. Gee, thanks for the gory details, Doc. A.G. makes fun of the Doc for being so interested. Doc says that fear serves as an inhibitor, and that without the presence of alcohol or drugs, he wonders what happened in that woman's brain.
Lisa is wearing a fetching black dress, and she asks Heather how she looks. Heather says, "Like a lamb to the slaughter," and tries to persuade her mother to fake being sick and not go out. Apparently, Lisa has been invited out on a blind double date with Roger and Mrs. Roger. Heather predicts that it will be "a train wreck." Lisa says that she has to go because Roger helped her get the insurance money. So that entitles him to be her pimp? There's something a bit unseemly about that. Heather tells her mom to call and say that Heather is sick, and that she'll make vomiting noises in the background. Then she demonstrates the vomiting noises, and they are very realistic! Kudos to Heather. Heather also wonders about "the guy with the egg," who I'm assuming is A.G. Lisa says he's a stranger. Heather points out that he lives at 63rd and Madison, that he works for the government, and that he looks like he was made by Mattel. Lisa says her phone isn't ringing off the hook. Heather says she should call him. Lisa says that she doesn't have his number. Heather says that she could go ring his bell. Lisa says good night. Heather calls out, "Are you afraid? Don't be afraid." See, there's that fear thing again. Also, how long has Michael Wiseman been "dead"? Why is Heather so anxious for her mom to hook up with a new man?
Roger is getting dressed for dinner. He reminds his wife not to order the escargot, because it will make her sick. This whole scene is completely pointless. His wife is off-screen, so we just hear her voice, and I swear to God it's Christine Baranski. (I later looked it up in the IMDB and I was right!) Have they ever shown Roger's wife? I guess I'll find out in the weeks to come. Anyway, the scene ends with Mrs. Roger accusing Roger of ogling their daughter's college roommate, and Roger kind of smiles, like "Aw, yeah." Am I supposed to like him? I find it hard to sympathize with a character who cops a feel from his daughter's friend, but maybe that's just me.
A bunch of people are line dancing. Why, God, why? A guy walks in, and I recognize him as the guy on Homicide who pushed Vincent D'Onofrio in front of a subway! Hey, that's actually clever casting. Anyway, Homicide Guy pays his entrance fee to this dance and takes a seat. He takes note of a pretty woman, who is dancing. An older guy comes up and introduces himself as Ward Lomax, and says he's in pharmaceutical research. Homicide Guy introduces himself as William Fox, and says he's in recreation and leisure property management. I'm guessing that means Lomax does a lot of drugs and Fox is a greenskeeper at a golf course. The two men discuss whether Fox should ask the pretty lady to dance. Fox says he can't because he's not a doctor or a lawyer. If he think this woman is that superficial, why does he care? Lomax asks if he can buy Fox a glass of punch (which definitely seem shady), and then tries to guess his weight. After finding out the weight, Lomax pulls a container out of his pocket, palms it, and dumps some into the punch bowl.
The doorbell rings, and Heather answers it without actually opening the door. The lawyer from the therapist's office is out there, and he asks for Lisa. Heather is hesitant to open the door for him, so he introduces himself as Gerald Misenbach and gives her his card. Heather pretends that her mom is actually home, but in the middle of a dinner party. Gerald turns around and notices the lack of cars around, which would suggest that no one is there. He tells Heather to ask Lisa to call him: "Some things have changed in my life. I'd really like to talk to her." Heather pretends that her mom is calling her, and that she has to go get more chips for the guests. Gerald expresses doubt that she is actually getting chips. Dude, she's a young girl home alone. Cut her some slack.
Lisa is sitting at a table with her date, and they mention that Roger and Ruth have been gone for some time. Lisa's date apologizes and says that he met someone between when he agreed to the date and now, but that he didn't want to ruin everyone's plans. Lisa says that it's okay, because she's happy just to meet new people and get out, and then she shows that she really is a good sport by asking him about the woman he met. Date Guy says that they met at the university where he teaches, and that she is on the young side -- actually, she's a student. Roger arrives just then and asks how things are going, and gives out too much information about his wife's stomach condition. Lisa tells Roger, "Richard's met someone." Roger notes that it's awkward, but Lisa says it's not. Richard says that it is awkward for him because the woman he met is only twenty. Dude! What are you, Michael Douglas? The writers fall back on the time-honored technique of "getting drunk to deal with a big shock" and have Roger order another drink. Richard tries to explain that he has met people before, but his fear (there it is again!) always got the better of him. He finally got the courage to ask this woman out. Lisa says, "So you had coffee?" and Richard gives out too much information by saying, "For three days." Roger gets his drink, drains it, and immediately orders another. There is nothing funnier than someone rapidly downing alcohol, is there?
Back at the singles dance, the pretty woman is surrounded by admirers while "Crazy" by Aerosmith plays. Fox is drinking some of the spiked punch, and Lomax is urging him to go ask the pretty woman to dance. Lomax keeps asking Fox what he's afraid of -- the other men? See, because the theme of this show is fear. I don't know if you got that yet. Fox drains his punch and walks over to the woman. Behind him, we see some people making out. Fox grabs the pretty woman and says, "We need to dance." The woman says, "We NEED to dance?" Fox grabs her and starts dancing with her. In the background, people are making out. I bet if this was on HBO, they would be getting naked. Oh, wait. A guy starts taking off his coat and tie while staring at a woman. She lets down her hair and then pulls the top of her dress down so she is standing there in her bra. They embrace and start kissing. Another guy looks around, and then makes off with the cash box. Lomax watches all this and laughs. That scene was pretty bizarre.
Heather is at the breakfast table. She throws a Cheerio™ in the air and catches it in her mouth, and then says "She shoots, she scores" and makes a noise like a crowd cheering. She really is the only reason I want to watch this show. Lisa reads the paper. Heather asks if she wants to talk, and continues, "I'm from the generation who loved Titanic, so you know there's nothing I like better than a good train-wreck story." I know Heather referred to a train wreck before, but wouldn't it have made more sense to say something about a boat hitting an iceberg? Lisa says, "Leonardo never showed. The whole night was nothing but Billy Zane." Wow, this show is so cutting-edge with the references to movies that came out two years ago. Heather tells Lisa about her "gentleman caller" and gives her Gerald's card and message. Lisa says that it took guts for Gerald to stop by. Heather says that if she admires Gerald's guts for just stopping by, then Lisa should go visit "what's-his-name." Lisa: "Mr. Newman?" Heather says, "Yeah, the hottie with the egg!" Lisa doesn't see why she should, and Heather says she could thank him because without him their house would be sold. Lisa isn't convinced, and says that people her age don't do that. Heather gets up to leave and says, "What are you afraid of, Mom?" See, because this episode is about fears. I don't know if I mentioned that earlier.
The song "Love Reign O'er Me" by The Who plays while we see shots of people hitting golf balls at a driving range. William Fox is driving a little tractor thing with a cage to protect him while it sweeps up the golf balls. He gets out of the vehicle and stands there, letting the balls hit him. Some of them even draw blood! He throws his arms out and smiles while getting pelted by golf balls. Why, it's almost as if he's fearless or something.
A.G. lifts weights again, and hopes that The Doc will say when. Instead, The Doc tells the story of William Fox, making sure to incorporate the word "when" in there, and reveals that Fox was pounded into a coma. Also, his body contained a vaccine designed to block threats, and the same vaccine was found in the woman who fell from the tower at Coney Island. Also, the same vaccine was found in the saliva of thirty-seven people brought to the emergency room for acting completely unconcerned about traffic and walking out into the street. One woman walked naked down 6th Avenue. A.G. says, "This is a bad thing?" The Doc continues by wondering how the vaccine was introduced, and what all these people have in common. A.G. tells him to get to the point because there could be more naked people that they're missing out on. The Doc says that all those people went to the same singles dance and drank the same punch, and thus they all became fearless. A.G. can't believe that Doc is acting so happy when a woman died and a man is in a coma, and says Doc is probably mad that he didn't think of it first. Doc says he knows it's terrible, but some inventor came up with "the biochemical equivalent of the new world." A new world where we all die or get put into a coma? Count me out. The Doc goes on to point out common fears, like the dark, water or public speaking, and says that they will be conquered. Then the doorbell rings. The Doc and A.G. aren't sure what it was, since the doorbell never rang before. They go to answer the door, and it's Lisa on the other side.
A.G. and The Doc both smile at Lisa. The Doc says they can't ask her in because the fumigators are there. Lisa asks Doc if he lives there, and Doc says, "No, this is Mr." and A.G. fills in "Newman's" and Doc concludes "place." These two actors really do work well together. A.G. asks if everything turned out okay with Lisa's house, and she says she came to thank him for that, and also to ask both of them out for supper. A.G. kind of looks at Doc, who answers that it would be "lovely." They set a time for the night, and The Doc's phone rings. After he steps away to take the call, A.G. tells Lisa that she looks great. Lisa says, "All that sweat kinda works for you." A.G. says that he'll be sure to wear some to dinner. Ew! The Doc comes back and says, "Duty calls." Lisa says goodbye and walks away and A.G. stares after her. The Doc commands, "Close the door." A.G. does, and then pumps his fist and silently says, "Yes!"
The Doc and A.G. are in a car driving past the most fake background I have ever seen. The show must have blown this week's budget getting the rights to the Who and Aerosmith songs, and didn't have any left over for special effects. The Doc tells A.G. that William Fox has come out of his coma, and that they are going to interview him, to try to shed some light on who is behind the tainted punch. A.G. says that Lisa looked great, and that The Doc was great for agreeing to go to dinner. The Doc says they are going to call and cancel their date tomorrow, because it's his duty to keep the secret of A.G.'s real identity. He has three choices: Kill Lisa, kill A.G., or stand Lisa up so that she gets angry and wants nothing to do with A.G. again.
William Fox is completely covered in bandages. The Doc tells him what they know about the vaccine, and asks if Fox ingested anything. Fox says a guy gave him some punch, and that he guessed his weight beforehand, and that he said he researched medicine. A.G. cuts to the chase and asks for a name. Fox says it's Ward Lomax. The Doc says that Fox has been very helpful. As they leave, Fox tells them that if they find the guy, to ask if Fox can have some more of that vaccine.
Back in the car, The Doc gets on the phone and tries to get information about Ward Lomax. A.G. is sitting there scowling with his arms crossed. The Doc asks sarcastically why he's in such a good mood. A.G. asks him if he needs to make another call, meaning to Lisa to cancel their date. The Doc says no. A.G. wonders hopefully if The Doc changed his mind. The Doc says he's realized that Lisa will be even angrier if they just stand her up, and then reminds A.G. gently that Lisa needs to get on with her life.
Lisa is at class, and we see flashes of what she is thinking about -- A.G.'s sweaty torso. The guest speaker is Gerald Misenbach! Lisa looks uncomfortable and slouches down in her seat. Outside the classroom, Gerald comes up and tells her that he stopped by her house, and that he's surprised to see her at the class. Lisa says she's getting her real estate license, and then says she meant to call him but she's been busy. Gerald says that she had no intention of calling. Wow, brutal honesty. He apologizes for his earlier behavior and says that he's glad things worked out for her, and gives her his new phone number even though he says she won't use it. As he walks away, he says, "You'd never know it to look at me, but I'm separated." How would you know by looking at someone? That was a really stupid line. Lisa laughs, probably at how dumb that line was.
A.G. and The Doc are checking out a little corner pharmacy, thinking they've been sent to the wrong place. They go in anyway, and while they walk down an aisle, A.G. cracks, "After we find our terrorist, we can pick up some cough drops." He never quits, does he? The Doc asks for Ward Lomax, and Ward comes out. The Doc introduces himself as Dr. Theodore Lawrence, and says he works for the U.S. Government. Lomax is impressed because he knows of The Doc's work. They retire outdoors for some conversation. Lomax lights up a cigarette, and Doc observes that Lomax must not be a real doctor because anyone who knows about science wouldn't smoke. Is this part of that project I read about where the Government inserts anti-drug messages into television shows? Plus, The Doc wants to know if Lomax is afraid (there's that word again) of cancer. Lomax says he's not afraid of much. A.G. notices a mouse sitting on a cat's back, seemingly without fear. The Doc realizes what's going on -- Lomax makes his vaccine there, in the pharmacy with no government oversight. Lomax says he has no idea what The Doc is talking about, but then with a wink, he says it isn't about money for him because he answers to a higher calling. The Doc continues his theory by saying that Lomax is still working on the dosage and thus conducting human trials. He asks Lomax about the woman in Coney Island who died. Lomax says that casualties are inevitable in scientific progress. The Doc wonders why Lomax is doing this since he doesn't have manufacturing, distribution or sales. Lomax says he only needs those things to make money, but he wants to be ubiquitous, and gives the examples of iodine in salt or fluoride in water, and excuses himself. The Doc makes a call and says he wants Lomax "watched around the clock."
Lisa is sitting on the bathroom floor painting her nails. Heather comes in, and Lisa tells her about her date with A.G. and The Doc. Heather is very excited to learn that her mother went to their house, and asks if it was scary. Lisa says, "I fear nothing!" somewhat jokingly. I wonder if this episode has anything to do with fear. Email me and let me know.
A.G. is hanging by his feet and doing inverted sit-ups. Every time he comes down, he tells The Doc to "call her" and The Doc says, "No." Finally, A.G. says, "I'll be your best friend." The Doc says that A.G. already is his best friend, and he's his only friend, and that he's not calling and they're not discussing it. The phone rings, and it's a guy in one of those crazy "Toys B Fun" trucks, who is staking out Lomax. Truck Guy asks The Doc if Lomax has a second job in oil delivery, because he just pulled up in a tanker truck. We see a shot of the truck, and it's blue with "Environmental Purification" written on the side in white letters. The Doc says he'll be right there.
Lisa has arrived at the restaurant, and tells the host she has a reservation for three.
The Doc and A.G. are in the car, and The Doc is on the phone with Truck Guy. Truck Guy informs him that Lomax is putting a bunch of powder in the tank of the truck, and now he's leaving. The Doc tells Truck Guy to stay with Lomax until he and A.G. arrive. The soundtrack sounds like some seriously cheesy Starsky & Hutch style music, featuring Chuck Mangione on flugelhorn. Truck Guy tells The Doc that Lomax is headed for the Tackaponick Watershed, and he can't follow him in the "Toys B Fun" truck without attracting attention. A.G. asks Doc where Lomax is headed. Instead of just saying, "He's going to try to contaminate the water supply," The Doc gets all dramatic and says, "Ubiquity."
Lisa is getting a water refill, and she asks the waiter for the time.
A.G. hops out of the car and takes off through the woods. The Doc just watches him go, because he doesn't have the speed of Michael Jordan like A.G. does.
Lomax attaches a hose to his truck as we pan out to reveal that he is on a dam with a lot of water surrounding it. Lomax pulls the hose to the edge of the dam and then begins to release the valve that will let the powder pour into the water. Suddenly, his truck starts moving. We see that A.G. is pulling it forward, and the hose moves so that it is no longer hanging off the edge. Lomax gets into the truck and A.G. runs to the back and grabs onto the rear bumper. Lomax tries to drive, but the tires just spin and smoke because A.G. is holding the truck in place. Lomax tries to go in reverse, but A.G. holds the truck in place again. A.G. lets up for a minute and Lomax throws it in reverse, so A.G. drops to the ground. We see a shot from the A.G. cam of the underside of the truck, and then A.G. pops out the front and holds onto the front bumper. As Lomax tries to get going, the tires spin and then blow out. A.G. climbs onto the hood and punches through the windshield.
A waiter tells Lisa that no one from her party called, but asks her to stay anyway. He offers her a phone to call a friend. Why is he all in her business? Cut to an answering machine coming on -- it's Gerald's! Lisa leaves a message about how close he came to having dinner with her.
A.G. is having his hand bandaged by The Doc in the car. A.G. says that Lisa has been sitting there for over an hour, and asks The Doc to call and put her out of her pain. The Doc asks how A.G. knows Lisa is still there. A.G. says he knows her and that she would wait forever for him. The Doc calls and just says "Mmm hmm" a bunch of times and hangs up. A.G. asks why The Doc didn't leave a message, and The Doc says that Lisa already left. He reminds A.G. that Lisa wasn't waiting for him -- meaning that she doesn't know who he really is. It's raining and the piano is sad. At least The Doc didn't say that A.G. needs to overcome his fear of losing Lisa.