In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
The Red Lips White Lies tour has hit New York! It's spring break, so Rayna has brought along Tandy and her daughters for some girl time. Maddie of course has decided that she wants to be a big singing star like her idol Juliette Barnes, and Rayna is having none of it until Tandy insinuates that she's being just like Lamar. And then Rayna lets the girls do soundcheck on the big stage, and I was so excited to hear Lennon and Maisy Stella do a number UNTIL I realized it was that freaking Lumineers song. Must it be on EVERY TV show, commercial and movie trailer? Did T Bone Burnett sleep through this one? The girls were great, but enough already.
Juliette, meanwhile, has her britches in a knot over the fact that there is a giant billboard of Rayna Jaymes right outside her hotel window. She decides that she wants a multi-million endorsement deal too, and enlists sober coach slash $50-million blower Dante as a sort of career coach. She gets a deal with a smartphone company, but the fact that Jolene actually wants her daughter to care about their relationship more than money ruins everybody's good mood. Juliette makes up for it all by dedicating a song to her mom at the show, and then does whatever the opposite is of making up for it when she bangs Dante. Another fantastic life choice! She just keeps makin' 'em!
Deacon is also on tour, of course, and brings new lady vet girlfriend Stacy along with him. Lest you think he just wants a dog sitter with benefits, he actually seems to have some feelings for her and apparently the two have been inseparable. Stacy meets Juliette, who is sweet as a Cadbury egg, and Rayna, who can only manage to say "That's nice!" when Stacy introduces herself as Deacon's girlfriend. Eventually Stacy gets in a bit of a mood about the fact that Deacon has boned both of the feature acts on the tour and never bothered to tell her about it. Rayna lies to Deacon that Stacy is great and she's really happy for him, and Deacon wonders if it might be time to go off the road and settle down. BUT THEN HOW WILL HE AND RAYNA FALL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN? God, this show.
As will not surprise you, Teddy is totally banging Peggy in the bed of his and Rayna's house, despite Rayna's request that he keep it in his pants while on the premises. As will also not surprise you, Peggy shows up at the door wearing a trench coat with nothing underneath, because she's the worst. There was no beret atop her head, except in spirit. Lamar schemes about how to convince Teddy to build the baseball stadium on his land, and lands a winner when he finds out that it was Peggy who sold stories of Teddy and Rayna's divorce to the tabloids. She is really the dumb bitch to end all dumb bitches. Lamar threatens to reveal this information unless Peggy convinces Teddy to change his mind about the baseball stadium site. She gives it her best go, invoking the possibility of banging him in the governor's mansion one day. And just as Lamar is ready to toast his latest scheming victory with a glass of scotch and a hearty "Mwah ha ha ha!" he totally has a heart attack or something. But…now who will show up to be evil every so often?
In more romantic news, Gunnar and Scarlett are having a fantastic time being boyfriend-girlfriend UNTIL he learns that she was offered a contract with Rayna's label a month ago and hasn't told him about it. He distracts himself by bromancing their new upstairs neighbor, who is also a musician, and eventually Scarlett tells him that she won't sign the contract since they're partners and she owes her whole music career to him. But he tells her to sign it, since he's not a petty jealous jerk like Avery. And then they bone and say they love each other, not in that order.
And speaking of Avery, things aren't going so well for our master-burning lost soul. He meets up with Hailey and learns that he's only really of interest to the publishing company if he's attached to a label. He has to find a new record deal or pay back his advance. To make matters worse, Marilyn has blackballed him from playing basically any venue in town. While he's busking on the street corner he runs into former friend and bandmate JT, who gives him a hard time about his misfortunes before handing over contact info for a potential roadie gig. At the end of the episode Avery apparently gets the gig, and heads to New York to become a roadie for an unspecified tour that I'm guessing rhymes with "Zed Nips Slight Pies."
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Rayna wanted to sign Scarlett as a solo artist after Gunnar was a no-show at their meeting due to dead brother rage/grief. All the woodchucks in the forest became VERY worried about how this would affect their king and queen's burgeoning romantic relationship. Deacon found a romantic interest who wasn't a lead on the Red Lips White Lies tour, while Juliette found a spot in her entourage for her rehabbing mom and mom's hot sober coach. Rayna gave Maddie her first guitar, while Avery seemingly burned his chances at ever making it in the music business along with his Dominic-produced masters.
We enter in New York City! Streets paved with gold! Rayna, Tandy and the girls are in a limo, which seems like an awfully nice way to see New York if you're a tween on spring break. The Red Lips White Lies tour has docked for a couple of days for shows at Brooklyn's Barclays Center, and Rayna is looking forward to doing some shopping and sightseeing with the kids. Maddie, meanwhile, is looking forward to hanging out backstage on the tour and talking to Juliette Barnes. She has no interest in museums or culture, even now that she's been smashed in the head by a bookshelf at Juliette's show. That's a loyal fan. The group then notices a giant billboard of Rayna in Times Square, from back when she sold out and shot those makeup ads. They joke about how she's huge -- literally! -- but Rayna is more impressed by the fact that she gets to spend time with the girls. And really, wouldn't it make more sense all around if she'd landed a hair product campaign?
Juliette and crew arrive in New York, which Jolene says is cleaner than she thought it would be. That's because her experience of New York likely centered around the Port Authority. Juliette tries to dump her mom on Emily, but Jolene suggests that they go see a Broadway show. But Juliette is too busy doing the lame rollout for her new single. Dante reminds her that she has a lot to be thankful for, and she snarkily chants that she's zen, positive and focused. Until, that is, she sees the giant billboard of Rayna -- right outside the window of her room. Well, isn't that a nice little karmic whopper!
Back in Nashville, Deacon, Sue and hot vet girlfriend -- whose name we finally learn is Stacy -- have coffee and snuggle time in the backyard. We learn that they've now been together for a month and have hardly spent any time apart since their first date. Also, she buys him fresh fruits and vegetables. So things are looking up for ol' Deke! She's not quite ready to bid him adieu as he heads back on the road, and so he suggests that she come with him. Seriously! Either Deacon really has no sense of the interpersonal awkwardness that is to come, or he's just trying to make Rayna jealous. Either way, the plane leaves today. And it's not like Stacy has a real job that she's been at for only five weeks or anything. She climbs on him to give him a kiss and ask if she'll be in his way, and I can't even imagine how we are to believe that they have any romantic chemistry when she is wearing freaking KEDS. Who IS this person and why is she delaying the inevitable Rayna and Deacon "reunited and it feels so good" hot sex scene?
Meanwhile, in the past month, Scarlett and Gunnar have gotten even more schmoopy than you could have imagined. He buys her pastel-colored dishwashing gloves and they giggle and smooch until they're interrupted by their new upstairs neighbor, Will (played by The O.C.'s Chris Carmack). He's a Texas musician with a cowboy hat that came from an actual ranch, and has heard the dulcet tones of Scarlett and Gunnar wafting up through the floor. Scarlett invites him to supper so they can give him a proper welcome to Nashville. Before leaving, he hands them some mail that was accidentally delivered to his box. It turns out that this includes a giant envelope from Edgehill Records, addressed only to Scarlett. And by the looks of it, Scarlett hasn't used any of their moments of post-coital bliss to mention the solo contract offer to Gunnar. Whoops!
And then there's Avery. He's apparently stalking Hailey in her office parking lot, and is happy to see her pull in. She looks perturbed and apologizes for not getting back to him, saying that work's been busy. Avery wants to give her some new material since he still has songs against his publishing deal. Hailey notes that Avery's value as a songwriter was in being a performer attached to a label, and after her boss found out about Avery's master-burning shenanigans, Hailey almost got fired. To make matters worse, Avery's in breach of contract with South Circle Publishing. Hailey notes that he's crazy talented, but if he doesn't find another record deal, he'll have to pay back his advance. Which, of course, he already gave to Dominic as payment for the studio time. Big boss Jeannie is not going to write Avery off as a loss, so he's gotta do something. This is where he decides to become a gigolo, right? I mean, it's the most logical career path at this point and he can use Marilyn as a reference.
Back at the New York hotel, it's family therapy time. Jolene chants that she's powerful, confident and centered. Dante directs Juliette to take her turn at chanting. She starts out saying that she's zen and positive before yelling that she's really pissed off. We pan back and see the giant Rayna billboard, looking in at her with a smirk smug. Juliette is mad that Rayna has an ad campaign and she doesn't, especially since her single is coming out. Jolene wants to focus inward, but Juliette is obsessed with the fact that her own face on billboards all over the world could make the difference between her album skyrocketing or crashing. She turns to Dante, who of course once made $50 million that he then blew on coke and hookers, and so is a really great source for business advice. He says that this is not a situation where she should accept the things she cannot change, and thus family therapy goes all to hell.
Back in the tree trunk, Gunnar is furious that Scarlett got an offer a month ago and didn't tell him or even mention that she auditioned. Scarlett points out that she did not audition, but merely sang to cover the fact that Gunnar's grieving ass never showed up. She's been trying to convince the label that they're better together than she is as a solo act, apparently to no avail. She's trying to include him, but he points out that not mentioning this for a month is not, in fact, a very inclusive strategy. Have I mentioned that she's wearing a sweater with roses all over it and booty shorts? The scraggly weave is a given.
Rayna signs some autographs before taking the girls out to dinner. Maddie asks if they can just have catering backstage, and Daphne points out that she just wants to get back before Juliette's soundcheck. Maddie says that she wants to see Rayna's soundcheck, too, since it will be good experience for when she starts to sing. Professionally. Rayna is all, "Whatchu talkin' 'bout?" Daphne makes things worse by piping up with, "She wants to be a celebrity!" And speaking of making things worse, on the way out of the hotel they run into Deacon and Sue. And Stacy. D'oh! Everyone makes a fuss over the dog and Rayna introduces herself to Stacy, asking if the two of them are working together. Deacon stumbles over his words and Stacy finally interjects with, "I'm his girlfriend." A somewhat taken aback Rayna gets the biggest teeth ever and gives a big, fake, Southern, "That's nice!" before hightailing it out of there for some Chinese food. So, you know, that went well.
What Rayna doesn't even know is that Peggy just showed up at her door wearing a trenchcoat and a pearl necklace. Teddy greets her and reminds her that nobody can know she was there. She says she's a master at keeping secrets, and because she is the grossest, most clichéd human whips off her trenchcoat to reveal bupkis underneath. I will say that she really missed a chance to make effective use of that beret.
After a break, Rayna is getting her hair did and discouraging Maddie from going into the music business. Maddie argues that singing makes her happy, and Rayna says that she can keep doing singing... just not professionally. She wants Maddie to enjoy her childhood and also not become Juliette. Daphne, meanwhile, has put grape tomatoes on her fingers and is eating them one by one while being a pint-sized wiseacre. Maddie wonders why -- if Rayna doesn't want her to become a famous musician -- she gave her the guitar. Rayna explains that it's so Maddie can write songs and work out her feelings, which is easier than having annoying family discussions about mental health all the time. Daphne pipes in to say that she has feelings too and got zilch. She also apparently wants to be a performer, and points out that Rayna could sign them to her new label. Which, I have to say, isn't all that bad of an idea. Tandy takes them out just before things get too heated and when she says that the girls just want to be like her, Rayna says they can be anything they want, she just wants them to grow up first. And meanwhile, I have been so embroiled in the family drama that I totally missed watching how Rayna's stylist does her hair! Some sort of skinny looking curling iron thing is involved, I think. But how do you get such big voluptuous waves with a skinny curling iron? Does anyone know? If so, PLEASE email me at potesypotes@gmail.com with the subject line: "Connie Britton Hair."
Meanwhile, Deacon shows Stacy around backstage and points out who various people are while managing to not actually introduce her to anyone. Juliette introduces herself, noting that she's heard a lot about Stacy. Stacy has heard about Juliette as well -- all good things, she claims. Juliette is skeptical and says, "Well then he must not have told you everything!" Stacy says that Juliette is a firecracker. Wow, what great people instincts she has.
Back in Nashville, Avery tries to get a gig. He tells the bar manager that he needs the money and reminds him that his music has always killed there. But it turns out the booking reluctance has less to do with the music and more to do with Marilyn, who has blackballed him all over town. Said manager wants Avery to give it a little time to blow over, but Avery says he's out of time. Mostly I think he's out of money and it would be really humiliating to get evicted from the fleabag motel.
Gunnar and Scarlett share an awkward drink with neighbor Will, where Gunnar barely disguises his seething rage as he mentions Scarlett's contract with Rayna's new label. Scarlett excuses herself to make dinner, and Will and Gunnar sit in awkward silence. Welcome to Nashville! It's a party every night!
And then we're on stage with Rayna, who is singing a song we haven't heard before that has something to do with waiting for a parking spot and whiskey and stomping grounds. Maddie stands at the side of the stage with Deacon and Stacy, noting how pretty Rayna is and saying she wished she looked more like Rayna than her dad. D'oh! Deacon assures her that she looks a lot like Rayna, and of course we know it's impossible that she would look like Teddy. This is the second awkward placement of a family comment involving Maddie and Deacon in two weeks, which leads me to believe that a big reveal is not far off! In other important news, Rayna is wearing a gold lamé bra and Stacy sure seems to be enjoying herself a lot for someone who hates country music.
Backstage, Dante continues his mantra magic by reminding Juliette that she's a contained, poised adult who will drive a forthcoming conversation with Marshall, who enters. She wants some sponsor meetings while she's in New York. Business sponsors, not 12-step sponsors, since there are enough of those around already. Marshall notes that she's turned down every offer he's brought her way before, and she says she's not a 15-year-old girl peddling cheap perfume anymore. Now she's an adult who can also effectively reach the twentysomething audience. Marshall has an electronics company who'd be interested in a rep for smartphones, and can set up a meeting tomorrow. Juliette is prepared to pitch herself and show how much she's grown.
Rayna exits the stage and delights in giving Maddie a great big hug. Deacon's there too with a supporting, "Mama did good!" Maddie says that she likes Deacon's girlfriend, and Rayna uses the word "nice" in regard to Stacy for the second time. She tries to keep it light by saying, "Pretty serious, huh?" Deacon says it might be, and Rayna's heart falls right along with the nation's. Remember that one week when we all got to enjoy a steamy elevator kiss? Those were good times!
After the show, Maddie and Daphne talk it up with Juliette backstage. Juliette is at once sweet and a bad influence, asking if the girls are going to stay up all night and rock out while lining up a few Shirley Temples. They both say that they want to sing like Juliette someday, and when Daphne asks how old Juliette was when she started singing, Maddie interrupts to say it was when she was 12, which Daphne would know if she weren't such an idiot. At least that's what her "Duh" implies. Maddie adds, "Your mom never stopped you." Well yeah, but that's because she was falling asleep and almost burning down the house due to her destructive meth addiction. Sometimes it's hard to explain the subtleties of these things to kids. Juliette tells the girls to go after what they want and not take no for an answer. Thankfully, Rayna doesn't get close enough to hear that. She does enter the room, though, and after a strained glance at Dante, Juliette actually -- gasp! -- approaches her and is totally nice. She says how great the girls are, and when Rayna says she's trying to keep them far away from the music business, Juliette says they're lucky to have a mama watching out for them, which is more than she had. Rayna thanks her and notes that Juliette's mama is there now. Juliette leaves with a curt "Yeah," but not exactly in a mean way. So... progress! Rayna is excited to see the girls and take them back to her room for a slumber party, despite the fact that Maddie wants to stay up all night and party like rock stars with Juliette. Tandy takes them away and Rayna tries to follow, but is pulled away by Bucky, who has a Broadway guy he wants her to meet for five minutes.
And then it seems that Gunnar and Will have broken their awkward silence by singing together. And they sound great! So, solo record deal problem solved. Scarlett comes out to say that dinner is finished. Gunnar says that they're on a roll, and asks her to bring it out for them. Well, that was kind of a dick move. But think of how nice he was to buy her those cleaning gloves to make dinner clean-up easier! Now go do my laundry, says dream boyfriend!
Back in New York, it's time for Rayna and Stacy to have the awkward encounter we've all been waiting for. Stacy compliments Rayna on the show, and maybe tries to win points by forgetting Juliette's name. She could have just said "the firecracker." Rayna asks what Stacy does and smalltalk lasts exactly six seconds before Stacy says, "So the two of you used to date?" Rayna's sweet ol' Southern self doesn't even know what to do with such a direct approach, bless her heart. She says that they dated a million years ago, and there's awkward silence before Rayna says it was really, really nice to meet Stacy. Nice thrice! She then bumps into Deacon on the way out, and they can't help but accidentally engage in some eye-fucking. Stacy doesn't really stand a chance, right?
The awkwardness then transfers to Deacon and Stacy, as she says she's surprised that he'd invite her out there when he's had a history with both of the headliners. She asks if he's trying to scare her away. As it turns out, he's just really dense. Stacy didn't expect to come on tour and fit in and feel comfortable, but she did expect him to actually mention the most important relationships with his life, and not have to hear it from "some weird kabuki kind of conversation with the woman you've sung love songs with for the last decade." Deacon admits that she's right and apologizes for not explaining his long, complicated history with Rayna. Which, he emphasizes, is history. Stacy wonders if it really is, since it doesn't SEEM like history. He says that it is, and actually looks kind of sincere. But... he just kissed her in an elevator! He was done talking! Gah, kill me. I still blame Teddy for all of it.
Meanwhile, Rayna is in her hotel room being ostensibly tortured about what a hard time Maddie is having. She doesn't think being around Juliette is helping matters. Tandy notes that this isn't about Juliette. The girls idolize Rayna, even if she has a hard time believing that. Tandy says that they all do, and anyway what's so bad about the girls fantasizing about what it's like to be a big star in this difficult time? She doesn't see the harm. But Rayna says that she has two really talented daughters and doesn't want to see them messed up by the business. Tandy points out that they can't see that, and all they can hear is her saying no. Then she goes in for the kill, saying that from their point of view, it sounds the way it sounded to Rayna when she felt that Lamar didn't support her dreams. Rayna isn't thrilled about being compared to their dad and Tandy is all, "I'm just saying!"
Dante and Juliette talk about her upcoming meeting with the electronics company. She really wants him to come with her and notes that he comes alive when talking about business strategy. I guess that's hotter than it sounds? She begs, and he finally agrees. And then Jolene pops in with chaperone Emily to say goodnight. Juliette does not even care. When she mentions their meeting is at 4:00 tomorrow -- the same time as Jolene's therapy session with Dante -- Juliette suggests that she go to the crew meeting. Dante agrees, which is suspect.
Back in Nashville, Lamar approaches Cole at a restaurant, reminding him of how they celebrated his passing the bar at this very spot. Cole knows that Lamar has an angle and tells him that the stadium is a done deal. Lamar tries to throw shade at Teddy's integrity before saying that if Teddy doesn't build on his land, he'll wish he had. Cole suggests that Lamar let it go, which as we all know is not his strong suit. Lamar says that Cole will see things differently when Teddy disappoints him, and when he does he should come and see Lamar -- like in the old days, when Cole had real power. The chances of Cole taking him up on that seem very, very slim. Happily, one of Lamar's minions is there to say that they just got some information from a tabloid source that may be of interest -- it has to do with who leaked Teddy's divorce to the tabloids. Hmmm... do you think the information came wrapped inside an eggplant-colored beret?
Gunnar and Will talk Texas by the fire pit, and Scarlett finally gives up and goes to bed. Is there anything worse than a bromance? Will asks why Scarlett is getting a contract from Rayna and Gunnar isn't, and Gunnar explains about his brother's death and his being a no-show. He admits that Scarlett was right about wanting to reschedule the meeting with Rayna and that he was wrong. Well, that's progress I suppose.
And then Juliette has her meeting with the electronics company and stands the whole time, like Dante told her to do. Oddly, she seems to be wearing some sort of Swiss Miss updo. But the company's execs seem to appreciate it when she notes their likely fear that she's a loose cannon. She won't deny that she's had her share of issues and says that everyone has heartbreaks -- hers are just in the public eye. But she's taking responsibility for her mistakes and moving forward, saying that her best days are in front of her.
Meanwhile, poor Avery is busking on the street. And who comes walking by but former bandmate J.T. It turns out that he can't even enjoy gloating, since he's going back to Ohio to work with his dad. Not everybody can make it in Nashville, as Avery once said. J.T. suggests that Avery might also go back home and work with the dad who said he was throwing his life away by pursuing a music career, but Avery is not quite that desperate. Still, J.T. says that with Scarlett gone and the blackballed situation, there's nothing for him in Nashville. He gives Avery the card of a guy to contact for a roadie gig. Can Avery, like, actually lift things that are heavy? He's so wee!
As it turns out, Juliette got the smartphone deal! She announces it to Jolene, who cannot share in her excitement. She accuses Juliette of thinking that money's all that matters, and Juliette in turn notes that Jolene hasn't complained about her $1500 a night hotel room. But Jolene just wants to be loved! Is that so wrong? She would like Juliette to feel more for her than she does for some cell phone deal. Well, then try not being a crackhead for her whole childhood, retroactively. I know that theoretically we should feel some sympathy for Jolene, but she's just so annoying. And she wants Juliette to pass on the message to Dante that she's going to the tour AA meeting, in case he'd rather talk about that than the 4500 billboards Juliette will be on. I wouldn't wait by the phone for that one.
And then Scarlett wakes up Gunnar the morning to announce that she's not signing the contract. She was merely a poet before she met him, and everything she's accomplished since then has been because of him. He's worked long and hard to get a contract, and she wouldn't be there without him. So she's not going to sign it without him. Gunnar is probably kind of hungover, so really doesn't have a decent response to all this madness.
Back in New York, it's time for Rayna's soundcheck. Rayna walks with the girls, and tells them that their talent is a gift and her wanting them to wait to develop it isn't about trying to hold them back. She loves them so much and wants them to have every advantage that time and experience can give them. Daphne says that she gets it. Well, that was easy. And to top it all off, Rayna wants the girls to do soundcheck for her! Awwww. And I was so excited to hear Lennon and Maisy Stella sing, but then they broke into that Lumineers song. Four months ago that would have been perfect, but haven't we all had enough of it by now? They sound fantastic though -- those girls have great tone. Rayna and Deacon give each other a "ho" and a "hey" and I want to die from how corny it all is. Go make out in an elevator! Marshall totally wants Rayna to sign the girls but she refuses, because she is not on meth. Yet.
Lamar enters Teddy's house because apparently no one has thought to change the locks. Peggy is there -- minus Teddy -- and looks none so happy to see Lamar slithering through the door. Lamar explains that he wants her to change Teddy's mind about the stadium site. And she was so "creative" with accounting on the Cumberland Deal that he's sure she'll be able to think of a way to do it. Peggy doesn't think so. And so Lamar asks how Teddy would feel if he knew that it was Peggy who leaked all the lies about his and Rayna's divorce to the press. He guesses that Teddy wouldn't take too kindly to it. Peggy doesn't know what Lamar is suggesting, and so he tells her: he's suggesting that she cooperate. It does seem a little wrong that Kimberly Williams-Paisley would have to deal with this in the same week that "Accidental Racist" dropped. Or do you think she sometimes refers to her beret as a do-rag?
We're then with Juliette on stage, where she introduces her brand new single to the screaming crowd. And then she dedicates the song to her mama, and Jolene is happy again that Juliette ostensibly cares about her more than 4500 billboards and a giant sack of cash emblazoned with a dollar sign.
Scarlett comes home to a sullen Gunnar, who says that she needs to sign the contract. He emphasizes that he wasn't mad that she got a contract without him -- he was mad that she didn't have enough respect for what's been happening between them to tell him about it. And furthermore, he's not Avery -- e.g., a jealous son of a bitch who couldn't handle her success. He's proud of her and excited for her, and sure that if he watches her wait tables at the Bluebird for eternity he'd never forgive himself. Also, he loves her. And she loves him. And the scraggly weave loves being pulled back with, like, an old rag for a ponytail holder. Everybody wins!
In New York, Rayna and Deacon talk about how amazing the girls are. And then she sucks it up something fierce and says that she really likes Stacy, and is happy for him. LIES! TOTAL LIES! They're having eye sex all the while, how could it possibly be true? And then he leaves, and she leaves, and we all wonder if we're actually going to get through this whole season without them boning. DREAD.
Speaking of boning, Peggy -- who is awfully comfortable at Teddy's house at this point -- suggests that they spend a little more time considering Lamar's stadium site. After all, she says, there's a lot more room for expansion there. Teddy is pretty clear about not wanting to be tethered to Lamar, but Peggy argues (with sex eyes) that he is the most influential power broker in town, and she wants to see him in the governor's mansion. Like it or not, Lamar can help him make that happen. Teddy looks... confused. More confused. And wait -- you don't think that Rayna and Teddy are eventually going to get back together, do you? DOUBLE DREAD.
And then Avery gets in a cab. He's got a bus to New York to catch for his roadie gig. Hmmm, I wonder what tour he'll join? Perhaps it rhymes with Bed Quips Smite Pies?
Juliette stares out of her window at Rayna's billboard. Dante enters and asks why it's so important to her. She says that she equates it with success, and you know what success means. Dante knows: It means love. Juliette thanks him for helping with her meeting, and with her mom. She thinks there's nothing he can't do. And then she kisses him, because she can't have any sort of positive relationship with anyone without it involving sex. Try just having a friend for once! Dante pulls away, saying he can't. She says he can, and that he sees her for who she really is and who she wants to be. He once told her that sometimes people spend so much time trying to keep out the bad that they end up missing out on the good. Hearing his own words sexy-voiced back at him is enough to convince Dante to bone her. On an ottoman! Well, that was easy.
Deacon enters his room to find Stacy asleep to Animal Planet, with Sue in his crate. She wakes up long enough to ask about the show. He says that he's been on the road for a long time, and has been everywhere and met a lot of interesting people. He's had a good run. HAD. There are a lot of things that Deacon can do in Nashville, off the road. Stacy says that he doesn't have to do this for her, but Deacon says that he might just be tired of the whole circus and might just want to go home. And besides, the road is no place for a new dog. Or an old one. And then they bone. He's lying, right? EVERYONE IS LYING.
Meanwhile, Tandy and Rayna cheers to good parenting, Tandy reminds Rayna that she was once a daddy's girl. Hard to believe even for Rayna, but Tandy insists. We then cut to Lamar in his sinister-looking study. He talks to his minion on the phone about the fact that Peggy's on board with their dastardly scheme, then lifts a glass to cheers to their new baseball stadium. But the glass drops and Lamar gasps and sort of clutches at his heart/chest/neck area. The phone drops too, and we're out.
week: Juliette and Dante have illicit sexytimes. Will quite possibly flirts with Scarlett and/or Gunnar. Deacon offers his support to Rayna and buries his face in her hair in a way that would indicate things are not, in fact, history. And Jolene grossly tries to make out with Dante as Juliette walks in on them.
Potes would please like someone to tell her what device you use to get glorious waving Connie Britton hair. Tweet her this very important information @traciepotes, or email potesypotes@gmail.com.
Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your show starts.