In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
It's the midseason finale, though last week's Rayna/Juliette duet seemed like the perfect way to go out for Christmas. Instead we get this episode that tied up a lot of loose ends that I guess people were clamoring for? I'd have been happy waiting a bit, especially after seeing what happens with Juliette, but let's start with everything else first.
Scarlett made such an impression with her horrifically breathy rendition of "Ring of Fire" that Hailey thinks she should front a band, so she sets her up with info to audition. Scarlett has a pretty voice, but the mousey girl is way too shy to really be a front person. When Gunnar gets wind of this, he gets pissed because he thinks it will take time away from their songwriting. Well, he really thinks that it will mean that he won't get to moon over Scarlett as she terribly lip-syncs all day long because she'll be busy with her other interests. And Hailey catches on to Gunnar's real purpose, so they split up. Hailey can definitely do better than this knock-off Zach Gilford. This all makes it so Gunnar can go kiss Scarlett and make everything all weird and awkward between them, so that she won't even sing the song they wrote in public together. Yeah, that's frontwoman material right there. But the two of them did manage to make some progress on their songwriting career, and it all gets celebrated in one of the most painful toasts of all time.
Avery, if anyone actually cares at this point, plays for Wyclef John and gets invited to Atlanta on his private plane to do some recording with him. Well, that's all contingent on the fact that Avery has to dump his band, which is comprised of dudes he's been friends with since middle school. Awkward. Also awkward was Avery bringing Scarlett a bottle of bubbly that they were saving for when he made it big, and the toolish guy finally admitting they should have celebrated when she got her writing deal.
Deacon has some friends in a newly clean and sober band called the Revel Kings, and they want him to go on tour with them as their guitarist. The one dude has a cool guitar-shaped pool, which is how we're able to tell that this band is big time rich. Well, that and the fact that every time Deacon name-drops the band, people flip their lids. He waffles for a long time, talking to Juliette and Rayna, who both tell him he'd be a dumbass not to do it since they've got their own shit going on and don't have time for him anymore.
Rayna's shit consists of her former friend Coleman showing her the pictures of Teddy and Peggy in compromising positions. She naturally goes and calls Teddy out, and finds out that he wasn't having an affair (allegedly) but that instead he is a total thieving liar and everyone from her dad to her sister knew about it and kept it under wraps. After Peggy ODs, the affair thing becomes more and more suspect. And after Coleman leaks the pictures, Rayna ends up doing the whole good wife thing, making a grand public statement about how she loves her husband, all so she can protect her kids and family.
Also in Rayna land, her single with Juliette is doing gangbusters, and the two of them are invited to co-headline a major stadium tour. Well, duh. Who didn't see that coming from about 200 miles away?
As for Juliette, well, this one's a doozy. So she's ignoring calls from her mother (her only family, as Deacon points out) and has insinuated herself into Sean's family. Going to church with them, singing with the choir, gifting his sister with a pair of expensive cowboy boots, inviting herself to Sunday dinner, etc. But Sean's mom is wise to Juliette's corrupt reputation, and puts the kibosh on that, saying that Juliette's actions are just for publicity, and that she fully intends to keep the trashy gal away from her son's public image at all costs. So, Juliette does what any insane person would do: She invites her good Christian boy over for dinner, and then tempts him with sex and then proposes marriage to him. Good lord. -- Angel Cohn
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Scarlett butchered "Ring of Fire" in a way that will make the ghost of Johnny Cash haunt the scraggly curls of her weave for all eternity, and this somehow made everyone love her MORE. Tim Tony Tebow Romo was all about purity and wouldn't have sex with Juliette, while Cole pressured Teddy to drop out of the mayoral race or risk having his incriminating photos with Peggy revealed. And Juliette and Rayna did a fantastic duet that is totally going to thwart their goal of never having to interact with one another again.
We enter post-Ryman show, with Rayna walking backstage and saying that her duet with Juliette was a lot more fun than she expected. Liam puts his arm around her shoulders in a rather intimate way, lending credence to my theory that these two are eventually going to bone. I hope that day comes sooner rather than later, to be honest. Bucky gives raves and Liam notes that it wasn't half bad, apart from the company. And here I thought he wanted to nestle himself in Juliette's pert bosom? Or maybe he's talking about Deacon. Marshall declares that Edgehill is going to release "You've Got the Wrong Song" as a live single. He's otherwise speechless, but Rayna only has to engage in the mildest form of arm-twisting for Marshall to agree that he's excited to release her new album. He welcomes Liam to Edgehill Republic, and Liam's too-cool-for-school reply is, "Yep." Okay, so he IS kind of a jagoff. But still, top quality boning potential. Everyone is so happy, what could possibly ruin this moment?
On cue Teddy walks in, like the Debbie Downer he is. He tells everyone not to let him stop the celebrating. In response, everyone except for Rayna leaves. WAH WAH. On his way out Marshall tells Rayna to make sure that Liam behaves, but she says she can offer no promises on that one. Liam then gives her a flower and a kiss on the cheek, because: future boning. Rayna wants to stay for a glass of champagne, but Teddy says they can have one at home. Cut to home, where there is no celebrating to be had. Teddy has just told Rayna about the pictures. She can't believe that anyone -- especially Coleman -- would leak photos of two people talking. BUT WHAT IF THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT STEALING ALL KINDS OF MONEY? Teddy says that a fabricated affair is not going to make him drop out of the mayoral race, which prompts Rayna to ask if the affair was indeed fabricated. He says that he did not have an affair, and Rayna quite legitimately wonders what he was doing wandering around in a public park at night with his ex-flame. Teddy makes up a lie about Peggy's marriage being in trouble to deflect Rayna's question, which does not seem like the right way to go. She worries about the effect that it's going to have on their children, and then wonders why Cole would do this. She asks if winning this election is so important and Teddy says, "Apparently so," in the calm manner of one who has sold his soul to the devil and so has the devil's help in appearing to act genuine.
Meanwhile, Juliette's house is filled with gifts celebrating her triumph of a duet, including a big bouquet of flowers from Marshall Evans. Juliette does not want flowers -- she wants her tour back. She tells this to Glen via phone before getting call waiting from "Mom's rehab," which she declines. And then Sean shows up. It turns out he ran to her house just to give her a newspaper touting her success on the Ryman stage. And now he has to go because: running. Juliette wants him to feel her boobs just for a minute. She wonders how long he's going to keep up this "no sex before marriage" thing. The answer is: until he's married. It's how his parents raised him, he says, before inviting Juliette to CHURCH with his whole FAMILY. I would actually dump this guy on the spot, but Juliette agrees. I think she's too befuddled to do anything else.
Then we cut to Deacon, visiting some friends who have a sweet-yet-cheesy guitar-shaped pool. These are old musical buddies who, it's turned out, have made it really big. They used to play together in a dive bar called The Lomax Inn, and now everyone but Deacon has made it to the Hall of Fame. Deacon says he must have got off the wrong bus somewhere. Doesn't he mean he must have gotten off at the wrong bus stop? The lesson here is to get a rental car with GPS. Guitar-pool-guy and his band, who we will eventually learn are called the Revel Kings, are in town for a week or so before heading off to Asia and Australia. It turns out that their guitar player is hanging up his strap, so they want Deacon to hit the road with them when they head out. He'll have a two-year contract, and if everyone is still digging it after that time, he'll be a full band member. It turns out that Deacon has not been selected solely for his guitar skills -- the band has recently become sober and this is step six, or something. Deacon asks for a little time to think about it, and the band says to sleep on it. One of the guys asks what's keeping him down in Nashville, and Deacon knows better than to say aloud, "My married ex from twelve years ago."
We cut to the publishing house, where Gunnar greets Scarlett "Ring of Fire" (ugh did they have to remind us) O'Connor. She thinks he's making fun of her, but Hailey assures Scarlett that Gunnar has been talking about it all day. When Gunnar heads upstairs, Hailey agrees that Scarlett was great before suggesting that she audition for a band that's looking for a lead singer. In other words, "Find something to occupy yourself so you stay the hell away from my man." Scarlett of course is like, "Aw shucks who li'l ole me I can't even saaaaang," but Hailey writes down the contact name of the lead guitarist for her anyway.
And then there's Avery, who I'm secretly beginning to believe is the best one on this show. He and the band are playing for Marilynn and Domino, who is a little shocked at how good they actually are. Domino bro-hugs the band after the song is over, and asks how long they've been together. It turns out that they've been friends and playing together since their Ohio junior high days. The fact that they stuck together all that time tells Domino a lot about them, like how much fun it's going to be for him to ruin their long-standing relationships entirely. Domino talks to Avery away from the band, saying that he'd like to dirty up the vocals a bit. He wants Avery to come to the ATL, and Avery says he can drive there. But Domino is recession-proof, and has his own plane. Avery can't even believe how great this is, and is likely reflecting on the fact that schtupping Marilyn has been a really brilliant career move.
And then we cut to Gunnar and Scarlett writing and singing. They're doing a love song, and Scarlett stops in the middle of a verse for apparently the third time. Gunnar asks what's up, and she tells him about the lead singer opportunity that Hailey mentioned. He's a little peeved about the possibility, even though Scarlett doesn't seem to have much intention to audition. They go back to the song, which is all about the right one coming along, in case all their pregnant stares aren't too obvious. This would be the perfect time for a monster to rip through the walls of the building and just eat them alive. Godzilla realness: the only suitable plot twist for these two.
And then Rayna storms into Cole's campaign headquarters to ask him what the fuck. Cole says that Teddy and Lamar have been lying about him for so long that it's time he started to tell the truth. Rayna does not appreciate having her family dragged through the mud, but Cole is just through with all the Teddy Conrad for Mayor campaign shenanigans. She says he knows that Teddy is not a cheater, and in response Cole hands her the envelope full of photos. They look an awful lot like an affair to him, but Rayna says that it's none of his damn business and storms out. This whole potential affair situation is really having a positive impact on her entrances and exits.
With that, it's time to go to church. Juliette shows up late with her sports car and Manolos, but at least manages to be moderately covered up with nary a sequin in sight. She starts to apologize to Sean's parents for being late, but before she can get a full introduction his little sister Dana bursts through in her choir robe. Turns out she's a huge fan and completely dorks out, telling Juliette that "Drive-Through Dreams" is her favorite song and she even tried to get the pink cowboy boots that Juliette wore in the video. Juliette is sweet and all smiles to the whole family, and then Dana asks if she will sing with the choir. Dana got this brilliant idea cleared by the choir director, who is clearly NOT Vi Rose Hill. Juliette is on board with this plan to make herself look godlier in front of the 'rents.
Meanwhile, Rayna is taking to Tandy about the whole photo scandal. Tandy assures Rayna that there's nothing going on with Teddy and Peggy, and if there were she would scratch his eyes out, which is code for castration. It turns out that Tandy set up Rayna and Teddy on their first date, and told her that a) he was the opposite of Deacon and Lamar; and b) he'd make a good husband and a great father. Tandy emphasizes point B before trying to scoot out for a strategy meeting to settle all this. Rayna asks who is involved in this strategy meeting. The answer to that question clearly did not include Rayna until this minute.
Oh Lord, and then Peggy shows up at Teddy's campaign quarters. He's like, "Whoa, bitch, what the hay?" But she's crying like the hot mess that she is and tells him that her husband, Robert, didn't believe that nothing happened between the two of them. He's flying back from Hong Kong tonight. Teddy is kind of like, "Not my problem!" and tells her to go home. Peggy tells Teddy that he can't just leave her there, but he proves her wrong by doing exactly that and telling her that she needs to stop being such a freak. How did this basket case ever manage to steal $2 million?
Cut to church, where Juliette is totally doing a solo. Her vocals are whinier than ever in the presence of the Lord, but this paradoxically makes Sean want to bone her even more, and then not bone her at the same time. And, wait. I want you to enjoy these lines of Juliette's song to the Lord with the devirginization motif in mind: "Your songs are stored in my heart / So break me apart / It's for your glory / Let it pour out of me / Let it pour out of me / Let it pour out of me / It's for your glory." Hole. Speaking of, Dana is practically having her first orgasm while singing to Juliette on stage. Juliette gives fuck-me eyes to Sean, because that's the only way she knows how to express happiness or emotion of any kind.
Meanwhile, Scarlett "plays" "banjo" on Deacon's porch. Avery shows up with a bottle of champagne. It turns out it's his "record deal champagne," and he tells Scarlett that he's flying to Atlanta tomorrow to work with Domino. Scarlett congratulates him, and seems to mean it. Avery tells her that they always said this bottle would be for when he made it. He admits that they should have opened it when she got her deal. Easy to say now that he's finally gotten his break. He hands the bottle to her, and tells her to enjoy it for both of them. She says, "Thank eeeeeeew," and "Good luck in Atlanta," in the most chipmunk voice ever. It's like the voice of a mouse doing a chipmunk impression. Avery thanks her and then walks off, and everyone looks a little sad but not too sad.
With that, church is over. Juliette asks what the Tebow Romo family is doing that evening, and it turns out that Mrs. Tebow Romo always fixes a big Sunday dinner when Tim Tony is in town. Juliette goes, "Awwwwwww," and with a hint of reluctance Mrs. Tebow Romo asks if she'd like to come. Juliette is so starved for any type of familial affection that she throws her arms around Mrs. Tebow Romo while accepting. What a sad little troll she is underneath it all.
Lamar and Teddy are in the manse of evildoing, talking about Coleman's likely strategy of releasing the photo to the blogosphere. Rayna storms in (another entrance!) with Tandy, incensed that they were going to have a meeting about her family without including her. Teddy says that this isn't anything she should be dealing with, while Lamar tells her that they've got it all under control. While she disagrees with the latter claim, she tells Teddy that yes, in fact she shouldn't have to deal with this, and neither should their sweet lovely kids. But Teddy is a gargantuan dumb-ass, so here they are. If the pictures come out, Teddy says, his plan is to hold a press conference and tell the truth about them. I mean, not THE truth. In any case, he'd better get cooking on that press conference because it turns out that the photos are out on DMZ Celebrity News. D'oh!
Oh Lord, part deux. Gunnar meets up with Hailey and is instantly furious that she suggested that Scarlett try out for a band. He wonders why she'd do that, and says that if she's fronting a band it won't be easy for the two of them to write. Hailey disagrees, saying Gunnar should know as well as anyone that bands play at night and they can write during the day. Gunnar accuses her of making decisions about his partnership with Scarlett without asking him. And, whoa. She gave Scarlett a phone number! She didn't break all of her fingers with a mallet. Hailey points out that Gunnar is being a weirdo, and he says that's what's weird is Hailey's attempts to separate him and Scarlett. Okay, that is the least weird thing that has happened with any of these three, ever. Also, what's up with Gunnar's rage problem? Hailey points out that he was a total creeper at the bar the other night, coming to Scarlett's "rescue" and preventing her from having too much fun. He thinks he was being a friend, but Hailey says he was staking a claim. She prefers that her boyfriend be more interested in her than an elfin woodland creature with pointed ears. And then Hailey dumps him! She says it's over, and it's always been over. At least someone on this show has a modicum of sense. That person is not Gunnar, since clearly Hailey is a kick-ass girlfriend and also a fully competent human, which is an ever-increasing rarity in Nashville, apparently.
And then Juliette shows up at the Butler Family Manse, which is grand and glorious in an old money kind of way. She brings flowers for Mrs. Butler, and the aforementioned pink cowboy boots for Dana. Mom Butler says that it's very sweet, but Dana can't accept them. Really, I think she doesn't want Dana to turn into a bleach-blonde skank like her idol, though officially she blames it on the cost. But Juliette insists, saying that she's never had a sister and so this is fun for her. God, she's SO SAD. Juliette then asks if there's anything she can do to help, which is a quality son's-girlfriend move.
Back at the Bluebird, Scarlett is setting up tables. Gunnar comes in and sighs. Scarlett thinks it has to do with the band thing, before telling Gunnar that she sent them a demo but doubts anything will come of it. This despite the fact that something ALWAYS comes of it for her. It's the fairy dust, I guess. Gunnar then practically starts panting as he says that when Scarlett was singing "Ring of Fire," he couldn't take his eyes off of her. And not because of The Horror. He then gets WAY too close to her before saying that she's amazing and has more talent than anyone he knows. Someone should tell her that every day, he says before leaning in for a hot and heavy kiss. And Scarlett totally reciprocates! She soon pulls away, though, saying that Gunnar has a girlfriend. Gunnar says, "We broke up," which is probably his interpretation of getting dumped on his ass. Scarlett argues that you can't just go around kissing people because you feel like it. Gunnar asks, "Then when should you?" A co-worker walks in at this moment, effectively breaking up this awkward and increasingly creepy moment.
And then Rayna pulls up her SUV in front of Peggy's house. There's a big crowd outside. Rayna wonders what's going on, and then sees someone being wheeled out of the house on a stretcher. A neighbor says that Robert came home and found her. She had taken pills, because she's SO DUMB. In positive news, though, she totally saved Lamar the trouble of having to try to kill her! Rayna heads home to fill Teddy in about Peggy's overdose, telling him that if Robert hadn't come home and found her she'd be dead. Rayna admits that she went to Peggy's house before saying that people don't just try to kill themselves for no reason. She asks Teddy what happened. He denies the affair again, but after pausing for a moment admits to Rayna that they "borrowed" money to get him out of hot water with the Cumberland deal. According to him it was all Peggy's idea, and he believed it when she said that nobody would get hurt. Rayna cannot even believe she missed the opportunity to bone Deacon a few weeks ago FOR THIS.
Back at the Bluebird, the MC announces that Gunnar and Scarlett will be taking the stage. She did not know about this fantastic surprise, and refuses to go up with Gunnar. So he takes the stage and sings "When the Right One Comes Along" solo. As he sings, we see Rayna head to her bedroom and take off her jacket right underneath the paintings of the girls. See, getting giant portraits like that is only going to make you feel guilty at some point. At the same time, Juliette is having the time of her life saying grace with the Butlers. All the while, Scarlett is serving beer and engaging in her favorite habit of giving stares that are pregnant with meaning. When she hears Gunnar sing a line about knowing where you're supposed to be, she looks as if she might soon need smelling salts.
We then see Teddy with Rayna in their bedroom. She tells him that he stole money from a bank, and he says that he paid it back. She's like, "Um, still a felony!" And then she points out that Teddy, Tandy and Lamar bribed an auditor. He says that they did that to cover up the borrowing of the money. And, duh. Rayna reminds him again that these are crimes, and Teddy says that he did it to protect their family. Rayna calls bullshit, saying that they never needed that money. He did it for himself, she says, which is in fact true. Teddy says that Rayna can still trust him, but she doesn't think so. And I mean, on the one hand, at least he didn't have a coke-fueled orgy with a bunch of teenagers. On the other hand, this whole thing proves him to be a real doofus who can't even manage to do evildoing well. I'm with Rayna on this one. And anything to expedite her affair with Liam is welcome!
Back at the Butler household, Juliette helps with clean-up and thanks Mrs. Butler for having her. Mrs. Butler smiles that WASPy smile and then says, "Well you didn't give us much choice." It BURNS BURNS BURNS. Yes, Mrs. Butler is a stealth bitch. She tells Juliette that they've worked hard to build Sean's brand, and they won't see it tarnished just because he got himself caught up in repairing hers. Can you imagine your mom ever talking about your brand? At least MethMom is trying to be nice when she makes pink macaroni. Juliette tells Mrs. Butler that she and Sean may have met via a publicity arrangement, but she really cares for him. It also means a lot that they had her for dinner, even though Sean's mom was secretly hating on her the whole time. Mrs. Butler says that she's read about Juliette, and read about MethMom, before adding, "You...this family...don't hold your breath, sweetie." That was the emotional equivalent of picking Juliette up and stuffing her back into a trailer. Mean, but well-played.
Rayna gets a chance to storm in on Tandy, and ask what's up with the fact that everyone except for her knew that Teddy embezzled $2 million. Tandy says that she didn't know until the beginning of the campaign, and that it all just kind of happened. Rayna pointed out that they'all made this happen, and wonders if her own bamboozlement was a part of the plan. The only thing Rayna knows for sure at this point is that her husband is a thief. She also knows that Tandy is just like their father, and storms out amidst Tandy's protestations.
Meanwhile, Juliette gets a visit from Deacon. She says that "You've Got the Wrong Song" is up to number fifteen on the charts, and Deacon "jokes" that she and Rayna are going to have to do a whole album together. Juliette is all set with that, but would like to write with Deacon again. He's agreeable to it, though says that he might be out of town for a little while since he got the offer to play with The Revel Kings. Juliette freaks out, lending credence to the belief that The Revel Kings are huge. She thinks he'd be crazy not to do it, and thinks he's crazier when he says he's "thinking about it." But that's not really what he's there to talk about. Deacon has a letter from Juliette's mom, which he got from rehab. He's been checking in on her periodically, because he's all sponsor-y and stuff. Juliette doesn't want the letter, and also doesn't want Deacon to talk to Jolene. Deacon says that Jolene is the only family that Juliette has in the world, and wants to make things right. The fact that Juliette isn't returning any of her calls isn't moving their healing process forward at a very rapid rate. He thinks that if Juliette reads the letter she'll see, and she wonders if that means she'll see the fact that she had to eat dried pancake mix as a child because all their money went up Jolene's nose, or that her first kiss was from one of Jolene's creepy boyfriends. That shuts Deacon up for a minute. Juliette says she knows how important family is, because she never had one. She wants Deacon to leave, and also to mind his own damn business and work on his own problems for a change.
At the publisher's place, Scarlett wants to talk to Gunnar. He doesn't regret kissing her, and she doesn't regret wearing a doily for a shirt. Scarlett cops to being confused, and tells Gunnar that even though the head of the publishing house, Jeannie, likes when they write together, their ideas are separate right now. So, in other words, he's not going to be yanking on her weave in coital rapture anytime soon. Scarlett says she needs a little time, which prompts Gunnar to go, "Cool, fine, whatever," in a way that demonstrates he is neither cool nor fine. He wishes her luck in her new band, and doesn't mean that either. Would he not be the weirdest, most controlling boyfriend? Hailey and Scarlett both dodged a bullet on this one.
We're then with Avery and Marilyn on Domino's plane. Domino reiterates that he's serious about working with Avery -- just Avery. Junior high bonds are made to be broken, and Domino says that they can build Avery up and get him another set of guys. Avery says that he and band member J.T. go way back, but Domino isn't talking about going backwards -- he's talking about going forwards. He walks away and Marilynn stops Avery from going after him, saying that he would be wise not to kill his career before it starts. Though she's a total creeper, I will say that Marilyn seems to be a pretty effective manager.
Meanwhile, Rayna sits by a stream in a park, and Deacon walks over to meet her. She jokes with him about scaling the wall of the bridge like he did all those years ago, indicating that this is a locale they're well familiar with. Rayna thanks Deacon for calling, and he asks if she's okay. She's kind of like, "Eeeeeeh," and Deacon asks if it's true that Teddy had an affair. She says that it's complicated and Deacon gets in a decent dig, saying, "Complicated. That's the last thing I ever thought he was." But Rayna and Teddy still have two daughters who think he hung the moon, which makes things even more complicated. Deacon asks if there's anything he can do, and Rayna smiles as she says no. Even though he could TOTALLY start making out with her right now! But I guess this isn't the right time, blah blah blah. Rayna asks Deacon what's going on, and he tells her about the offer from The Revel Kings. She tells him it sounds like the opportunity of a lifetime and asks if he's going to do it. He doesn't know, and asks what she thinks. Rayna actually shows a little bit of growth by telling him that he needs to go and see what's around the bend. He guesses they both do, and she says, "Yeaahhhh." The eye-fucking while all this is happening is considerable. The scene ends with Deacon telling Rayna that the girls may think that Teddy makes the world go round, but they wouldn't even have a world without her. It is my constant fear that this show is going to get cancelled before these two get together.
And then we're at Teddy's press conference, and he's denying any sort of affair or wrongdoing. His claim that he was just consoling an old friend sounds much less convincing when followed by the words, "Sadly her accidental overdose...was an outgrowth of that." I mean, jeez. Rayna walks in part way through Teddy's address, and then takes the microphone herself. Her hair looks extra fabulous, which is how we know she means business. She tells the reporters that Teddy is a good father and husband and also a good cook. What he's not, she says, is a cheater. She believes in Teddy's love for her and their children, and says the pictures don't prove anything except the desperation of people who are trying to bring them down. And she's not going to dignify it with further comment. Teddy hugs her and thanks her, and she tells him that she did it for the girls.
Back at the publishing house, Jeannie announces to Scarlett and Gunnar that they've gotten an offer to put one of their songs on hold. It's not a done deal yet, but this is still quite exciting and deserves a champagne toast. Poor Hailey has to bring in the champagne and glasses, and Jeannie makes the most awkward toast to successful partnerships.
Meanwhile, Deacon hangs out with his rock star friends and tells them that if he doesn't leave Nashville now, he's never going to. He gives a mellow, "Let's do it," and then everybody toasts with water to sex, no drugs, and rock n' roll. Through it all, Deacon looks just the slightest bit sad.
And then poor Rayna has to go right from the press conference to a meeting with Marshall. He reminds her of how well the duet with Juliette is doing, and says it's shot both of them to the top of the charts. Marshall and Bucky just met with Performance International, who proposed an arena tour involving Rayna and Juliette co-headlining. It would be a 50/50 split, and they'd alternate who closes the show. They'd do 80 cities, promoting each of their albums and the single. He wants to set things up ASAP so they can strike while the song is hot. Do people really just cancel tours and announce tours and then cancel tours and announce tours like this? In any case, Rayna is so eager to get the hell out of town and away from Teddy that she's at the very least not saying no.
Meanwhile, Juliette has set up like a million candles out by her pool. Please tell me she's going to set her house and the ensuing woods on fire. Sean arrives and tells her she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. They smooch for a hot second, and then Juliette sits him down. She tells Sean that she had a bit of a heart-to-heart with his mom last night, and started thinking about the two of them, and family. And then, blue eyeshadow and all, she asks Sean to marry her. Is she THAT desperate for sex? I mean, yes, but still. Mrs. Butler is going to flip her wig!
This January on Nashville: A very dramatic Rayna and Juliette tour quite possibly commences! Deacon gets nekkid with a ladyfriend, and also has a whole bunch of groupies. Avery kisses Scarlett and maybe gets a beat down from his (former) bandmates. Teddy tells Rayna that she's not taking the girls from him, Scarlett fronts a band, and Juliette may be a runaway bride. I can't wait!
Potes wishes you happy holidays free of blasphemous "Ring of Fire" covers! Tweet her @traciepotes or email potesypotes@gmail.com with your recapping wish list.