By Potes
The half-season long "Will they or won't they?" question has finally been answered! And no, I'm not talking about Rayna and Deacon Doing It. We finally get to enjoy Rayna and Juliette bitching it up at close range, as they are encouraged by label head Marshall Evans to perform a duet at Edgehill Republic's anniversary show at the legendary Ryman Auditorium. Of course, neither woman is feeling this idea at first, but Rayna uses it as leverage to get Marshall to agree to new BFF Liam producing her record as well as nixing a proposed greatest hits album. And the duet is yet another reputation-repairer for Juliette, whose burgeoning relationship with Sean "Tim Tony Tebow Romo" Butler is only drawing more ire from football fans. Without the duet with Rayna, she won't even be on the bill at the Ryman show and she's dying to play there.
Once both parties have agreed to the duet, things only get more difficult in a really magical way for us, the viewing audience. Juliette kicks things off by being a total bitch and the bitchery becomes mutual as they try to agree on which song to sing. Juliette totally wants to do one of her teenybopper songs and, well, we all know what Rayna thinks of Juliette's music. Rayna points out that she's doing this as a favor to the label and adds that everyone knows Juliette hasn't earned a place on the stage. Then Juliette's feeeeeeeeeelings are hurt and despite the fact that she's basically spent hours calling Rayna an irrelevant hag, it's Rayna who gets a hard time from Deacon for not acknowledging that Juliette might actually have talent. He gives her a copy of "Undermine," and soon Rayna shows up at Juliette's door proposing that they co-write a new song. They do, and when they play this ode to telling off no-good men at the Ryman, it has MONSTER HIT written all over it. Co-headlining tour, here we come! In supplementary Juliette news, Sean doesn't want to sex her up outside of wedlock. OF COURSE. He does strike me as an "oral doesn't count" type of guy, though.
Meanwhile, Teddy's poll numbers are way up, but his optimism is quickly dashed when Cole shows him the incriminating Peggy-photos. Cole tells Teddy that if he doesn't drop out of the race, he'll leak the photos to the press. Lamar, of course, has some scheming ideas on how to get around this (I'm hoping that one of them involves eventually murdering Peggy), but ultimately thinks that Teddy should get ahead of the story and deny any infidelity-based wrongdoing. Team Conrad agrees that the biggest problem is going to be dealing with Rayna. The biggest problem for Cole, however, is going to be a long drawn-out trial for possession, thanks to Lamar's friends in the judicial system.
And then there's Scavergun. Avery sleeping with manager Marilyn has evidently paid off, as his band is playing in bigger venues, being heavily promoted and being introduced to Wyclef Jean in a guest starring role. But he still seems kind of lonely for Scarlett. Meanwhile, Hailey is way more stupid than I gave her credit for and gussies up Scarlett for a fun night out on the town, using the philosophy that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone. Of course, when Gunnar sees Scarlett in heels and a sexy (for her) black dress, he has to pick his eyeballs up from the floor. He also conscientiously objects to her flirting with another dude and is a total cockblocker. Not cool! In the midst of all this, Scarlett is invited onstage by the band at the bar (OF COURSE) and sings what is perhaps the worst version of "Ring of Fire" in existence. This only serves to make her more enchanting to Gunnar; meanwhile, Hailey starts to get wise to the fact that these two are freaks and she should run while she still can. Eventually, a very upset Scarlett goes to Avery's house unannounced and finds Marilyn there in her underthings. In positive news, this finally breaks her writers' block!
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