Previously on Celebrity Mole: Erik won an exemption, but gave it up so that $60,000 could go into the pot. Frederique refused to eat a hot pepper and lost a potential $25,000 for the pot. Ahmad read some journal pages and Corbin weirdly insisted that the final page read was not his, even though everyone else's page had already been read. And then Corbin was executed.
I just want to state for the record that, halfway through this episode, I announced that I was changing my Mole pick from Michael to Frederique. I know none of you have reason to believe me, but I swear it's true. I'll explain my reasoning at the end of the episode.
Episode-opening series of interviews. An exhausted-looking Michael says that Corbin was their captain and a lunatic, and now he's gone. Kathy is genuinely shocked, but adds that he should have known because she's The Mole. Erik didn't like Corbin's "cocky persona," but now he thinks Corbin was a good guy. Frederique lists off the remaining celebrities and laughs. That was weird.
Big Island. Hawaii. People (and a dog) surf. In an interview, Kathy says she saw some hula girls and thought they would have a luau and compete to see who could eat the most poi. Ahmad welcomes them to their game and reminds them that they have $151,000 in the pot. Today's game is worth $20,000. Ahmad says that Michael is a strong swimmer and that Erik is "one of the world's great surfers." Really? Is he? Ahmad says that the two guys will do the hula, and the women will do some surfing. Kathy thinks there must have been a typo, and that they're really supposed to be having lunch. Ahmad says they have thirty minutes to get up on the surfboard with their hands out and stay up for five seconds. Kathy clarifies that it doesn't have to be the same five seconds. Hee. Synchronized surfing, the Olympic event. Ahmad tells the guys that they will be doing the hula continuously, and if one of them stops, the game is over and no money is added to the pot.
First, Michael and Erik need to learn how to hula. Michael pronounces this "the worst moment of [his] life." Erik and Michael are given grass skirts and coconut bras. Michael talks about how humiliating it is and asks if he can get executed on purpose. Erik starts practicing his moves, and Michael says, "Oh, don't help them. Don't help them." Erik and Michael line up with their two female instructors, and Michael gripes, "Not a happy face. Not a happy man." Okay, dude, we get it! We understand that the outfit is a threat to your masculinity. Get over it and complete the mission. Did you see the pink corset Al had to wear last season? Speaking of Al, one of the instructors announces that the song they'll be dancing to is "Tiny Bubbles." Some dude with a ukulele sings the song as the instructors demonstrate the dance. Kathy stands by and critiques. In an interview, Michael says he felt "as clumpy and ungraceful and uncoordinated as you can imagine." The song finishes and Michael says, "I smell something burning. Oh, it's my career!" He's funny, but also, we get it. Isn't this the same actor who played a gay guy on Spin City? You'd think he'd be cool with the whole stereotypical-sex-role-reversal thing. Michael asks if they can't do a more macho Polynesian dance, where he gets to "hump a palm tree or something."
Ahmad tells Kathy and Frederique that it's time to put on their wet suits. Hey, it's like the same wet suit Dylan McKay used to wear, with the strap to pull up the zipper! Frederique points to her crotch and says that she has "[bleep]." Camel toe? Balls? I don't know. She tells the camera not to focus there. Kathy says she's so hot that she doesn't care. Kathy and Frederique walk down to the beach and get their surfboards. An instructor shows them how to "paddle like a mad animal" and then hop up into a standing position. Kathy tries it out and starts posing on the surfboard. Her instructor tells her not to fool around. Kathy is actually better at the standing up part than Frederique, I think because her legs are shorter so there's less to pull up. In an interview, Kathy says she hasn't "used her quads that much in eight years of gym class and grade school put together." I think Kathy just farted, but I'm not sure. It sounded like she said, "Hey, sorry. I cut one!" Too bad Erik's not there to fall down laughing. That's his type of joke.
Kathy and Frederique head back to the dance area for their final instructions. Kathy's board is like three times as tall as she is, and she's having trouble holding it up. Ahmad reminds them that they have to stay up for five seconds. Ahmad tells them to start. Ukulele Guy starts playing and Michael and Erik start dancing. Kathy and Frederique head for the water and paddle. In an interview, Michael says that he reached up as part of the dance and almost fell over because the sun wore him out. Kathy paddles out into the water and voice-overs that she doesn't like the sun, and it doesn't like her, and she doesn't like wetsuits, and she doesn't like "big long boards that can fall on your head." Seriously. I saw the Tiki episode of The Brady Bunch. Frederique paddles also and voice-overs that she didn't expect to be surfing.
Five minutes have passed, and Erik and Michael are still dancing. Michael voice-overs that he was roasting in the sun and he thought it was bogus because the women wouldn't succeed. Cut to the women and the two instructors sitting on their boards in the water. In an interview, Kathy says, "So we're just sitting there on the surfboards and I was like, 'Wow, this is pretty. Whoooaaaagh!' I'm, like, starting a new upside-down surfing that's so edgy, no one's even brave enough to do it except me. There's no waves! No one pushed me! It was like the hand of God saying, 'Uh-uh.'" We see Kathy totally fall off her board for no reason and then crawl back on. Frederique catches a wave but falls off her board before she can pop up. She voice-overs that it's also pretty dangerous in that area.
Frederique finally manages to get up on her board, and the timer counts off eight seconds. In an interview, Erik says that Frederique blew him away and he couldn't believe she stayed up the entire time, and that she has surfer potential, "especially for someone with her height." I guess just for fun, Frederique goes out for another run and manages to stay up for ten seconds this time. In an interview, Kathy says, "Frederique can go do a beach party movie with Frankie Avalon for all I care, because I hated it! My own sweat was filling up my left eye. I basically was jumping up on a surfboard, covered in sweat, with this expression on my face." Kathy makes a goofy face to demonstrate, and as she continues talking, we see her repeated attempts to surf, and every time, she crashes into the waves. Kathy says that she didn't want to scratch her legs up, so when she felt "one slight scrape on [her] ankle," she squealed and panicked and called it quits. Kathy concludes one run by going into some rocks and turns and tells her instructor that she's done because she's scared. Kathy voice-overs that he told her to get up and do it and she was like, "Look, Huki Lau, it's not going to happen." Kathy stalks up the beach saying that she never wants to see a surfboard again. The timer says that there are just under nineteen minutes left. Erik voice-overs that he doesn't understand giving up after only ten minutes. Michael voice-overs that he found it somewhat suspicious, and since the last execution, he's shifted his focus to Kathy more.
Everyone gathers on the beach. Ahmad announces that the guys did their thirty minutes and Frederique did her five seconds, but Kathy didn't. In an interview, Frederique says that Kathy isn't an athlete and didn't do well, so they lost money. Ahmad says that they don't get any money. What I don't get is why the men continued dancing. I guess they didn't know Kathy gave up? Ahmad says he'll give them a chance to make some money back. Frederique stayed up for ten seconds. Ahmad asks Erik how long he thinks he could stay up based on the surf. Erik says he could stay up a minute. What? Why would he say such a high time? Say eleven seconds, dude. In an interview, Kathy says, "Apparently, he thought he was going to surf to Oahu on one wave." Erik changes his answer to twenty seconds. Just say eleven! Ahmad says that Frederique was almost up for twenty seconds, which she totally wasn't. She was up half that long. Erik says he's not an expert surfer. Ahmad says he'll add $10,000 to the pot if, in ten minutes, Erik can stand up for twenty seconds. Erik heads out to try and everyone else watches. On his first attempt, Erik stays up for seven seconds before his wave kind of peters out. On the second try, he makes it for eleven seconds before heading into the rocks and bailing. Frederique thinks he should start out further. Kathy points out that he should have stated a time that was only one or two seconds more than Frederique's. In an interview, Frederique says that Erik was suspect because he's a surfer and he landed in the rocks. I know nothing about surfing, but can you control it that well? I don't know. I'm asking. Michael says that it's all good because America got to see that Erik knows how to surf. Frederique suggests that Erik might be The Mole. Erik heads back without succeeding, and says he should stick to hula dancing. Ahmad says the good news is that there is still $151,000 in the pot.
It's lunchtime. Ahmad voice-overs that the players are taking a moment to record information into their journals that might help on the quiz. Ahmad walks up to the table and announces that one of them came dangerously close to being executed. One person tied with Corbin, but Corbin had a slower time, so he was executed. Frederique says that was a really mean thing to say. In an interview, Michael says he was terrified because he assumed it was him, and you don't find out which answers you got right and which you got wrong. In an interview, Erik says it also could have been him. In an interview, Kathy says it could have been her, but she's hoping it was Frederique and she's hoping to beat her at the execution.
Erik and Kathy head for the van to talk. Ahmad voice-overs that they've had a coalition since the first day, and that they are going to strategize about future quizzes. Kathy tells Erik that there won't be any questions until the final quiz about stuff that happened at the beginning of the game, and she warns him not to tell Frederique that information. In an interview, Kathy says she tells Erik how she's voting and that he can do what he wants. She adds that she wants the other players to think that Erik is The Mole, and that they worked hardest on Frederique. Kathy says she doesn't want Frederique to know about the quiz thing, because she doesn't know if everyone knows that information. In an interview, Erik says that, at this point, he can't trust either of the women.
It's time for another game. The contestants are blindfolded and put into two vans, the women in one van and the men in the other. Kathy tells Frederique that she has to ask her something inappropriate and asks if she could put her head in Frederique's lap. In an interview, Kathy says she got really motion sick. They arrive at the secret location, a mystery restaurant, and Ahmad leads them in. In an interview, Kathy says that they were trying to smell the ocean to try to figure out where they were. Ahmad instructs them to remove their blindfolds and announces that one of them will get a chance at the final exemption, which will guarantee one person a spot in the final round. Ahmad tells them to split into two teams and the contestants start discussing who has already been paired up. In an interview, Erik says that he didn't want to be with Frederique because he was afraid that he "would blow it with her thinking that [he's] the M-O-L-E." Erik argues that it shouldn't be based on where they are sitting. In an interview, Kathy says that she thinks Erik was either trying to assert himself or trying to look like The Mole, and either one is fine with her. They decide that Michael and Frederique will be one team and Kathy and Erik will be the other.
Ahmad announces that the game will have three rounds. In the first round, each team will be given a series of mathematical brain teasers and the team that answers them all correctly in the shortest amount of time will advance. Ahmad tells Michael and Frederique to put their blindfolds back on so they can be led out. In an interview, Kathy says that she's no math whiz, but she figured she could work an equation better than she could surf, so she has a chance. In an interview, Michael says that his heart sank a little because he knows Erik is "a bit of a math whiz." Ahmad tells Kathy and Erik that he's going to show them two puzzles with four numbers. The first three numbers are combined mathematically to produce the fourth, and it could be addition, subtraction, multiplication, or division. For example, in the first problem in the first set, the numbers are 12, 8, and 9, and the final number is 84. So 8 x 9 = 72, and 72 + 12 = 84. Then you have to apply the same pattern to the second problem in the set to fill in the missing number. It's kind of difficult to explain in writing, because it also has to do with how the numbers are positioned, and if you really cared, you probably watched the show already, right? Basically, you have to be good at looking for patterns and doing math quickly in your head. Find the pattern in the first problem and apply it to the second problem.
The first set is revealed and Erik talks the first problem out, and then Kathy figures it out and yells out the answer. They apply the pattern to the second problem in the set and get it right. On the second set, Erik gets the pattern right away and Kathy just kind of sits there and lets him do it. Their final time is 2:23. Not to brag, but I totally figured both out right away and my husband was like, "Who knew I married Will Hunting?" In an interview, Kathy says she wasn't surprised that Erik did well on the test because he's at an age where he takes a lot of tests on a daily basis.
Michael and Frederique are up , and they struggle a little bit. In an interview, Frederique says that her partner was useless. In an interview, Michael says it was revealed that he is terrible at math, and that he liked everything about school except math. In an interview, Frederique jokes that she's Dutch, so it took her a little longer. Yes, that it must have been difficult converting the numbers from the Dutch system. Frederique finally figures out that first set. Frederique voice-overs that it irritates her that she took so long. Frederique finally figures out the pattern for the second set and stands up because she is so excited. In an interview, Michael says when he sees numbers and symbols, his brain cuts off. Frederique grabs a pen to do the math and get the final answer, and Michael is just totally lost. In an interview, Michael says he would have felt more confident in any other subject.
All of the contestants reconvene in the room. Ahmad says he wanted to make it sound like the contest was close, but it wasn't. Erik and Kathy got 2:23 and Michael and Frederique got 9:35. Erik and Kathy will move on to the round. Frederique complains about having to put her blindfold back on as she and Michael are led out. Once they are gone, Ahmad announces that, in the second round, Kathy and Erik will compete against each other. He's going to ask them each ten questions, and whoever gets them all right in the shortest amount of time wins. Ahmad asks who wants to go first, and Kathy suggests that they do Rock, Paper, Scissors. They shoot. Erik chooses rock, and Kathy just points one index finger. Erik asks what the hell she's doing. Kathy laughs and says she doesn't know. Erik decides that it's scissors and so he wins. In an interview, Kathy demonstrates her sign and says, "I don't know what I thought that was, but I thought it might be paper. And it turns out it's 'sci.' It's not even 'scissors.' And then whatever he did beat it and I don't even know because I've never played it." What kind of childhood did you have where you never played Rock, Paper, Scissors? How did anything get decided? I mean sure, there's the time-honored "Not It!" but that always leads to arguments over who really said it last. And there's "My mother and your mother were hanging up clothes. My mother punched your mother right in the nose. What color was the blood?" But that was too easily manipulated by adding in extra words and shit to make sure you got the answer you wanted. And also kind of scarily violent. And there's the same problem with "Engine, engine number nine, going down Chicago Line. If the train falls off the tracks, do you want your money back?" What fool says no to that? The damn train fell off the tracks and you don't demand a refund? No, Rock Paper, Scissors is really the King of Playground Decision-Making. But I digress.
Ahmad prepares to begin asking Kathy her ten questions. He explains that he needs to read all of the potential answers before she chooses. The first question is, "Red is to ruby as blue is to: diamond, sapphire, emerald, garnet." Kathy immediately gets the correct answer, which is sapphire. The second question totally blows: "Arm is to elbow as foot is to: knee, leg, calf, ankle." Hello, lack of parallelism! It should either be, "Arm is to elbow as leg is to knee" or "Hand is to wrist as foot is to ankle." Or I guess it could be "Arm is to wrist as leg is to ankle." But that's stretching it. Anyway, they claim the correct answer is ankle, and Kathy gets it on the second guess. The third question is "Twelve is to hexagon as 8 is to: decagon, octagon, square, triangle." Kathy guesses octagon, but gets it right on the second try. The fourth question is, "Pinto is to Ford as Gremlin is to: Toyota, Fiat, AMC, Chevrolet." Kathy gets AMC on the first try. The fifth question is, "Deer is to stag as turkey is to: hen, cock, rooster, gander." Hee! Cock. Sorry. Also, I thought a male turkey was a tom. The sixth question is, "Thames is to England as Rhine is to: Austria, France, Italy, Germany." Kathy guesses Austria before getting the correct answer, Germany. The seventh question is, "Edison is to light bulb as Marconi is to: printing press, radio, computer, VCR." Kathy doesn't get it until the third try, and it's radio. Man, hasn't she ever heard the song "We Built This City" by Starship? And it goes, "Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio." That's how I knew that answer. The eighth question is, "Watt is to power as lumen is to: electricity, pressure, light, humidity." Kathy guesses light and gets it right. The ninth question is, "Madrid is to Spain as London is to: Japan, America, Greece, England." Um, America? Kathy gets England right away. The tenth question is, "Three is to Earth as seven is to: Jupiter, Uranus, Mars, Venus." Kathy goes through all of the answers before getting the correct one, Uranus. In an interview, a weirdly straight-haired Kathy says that she heard questions about Uranus and lost focus. Hee!
Kathy voice-overs that she had an interesting strategy, which was to neither run nor sweat, because she had already sweated buckets that day, so she found a group of people and asked for a local. She has clearly watched The Amazing Race before. She describes the restaurant she's looking for, and some people tell her it's called the Chart House. She decides to hitchhike, because they tell her it's a mile or two away, so she steps into the street and puts out her thumb. She stops a car and asks them to take her, and the guy agrees. In an interview, Kathy says, "This guy comes along and, if you're watching sir, I'm sorry, but I'm going to be honest. I think he was retarded." I know I shouldn't laugh at that, but I still did. Kathy explains that it's for a television show. Her voice-over says, "I don't know how many teeth he has, but it's not a lot." Kathy gets into the back seat of the car and explains where she's going. The driver says it's closer than she thinks. Kathy voice-overs, "So he had a son who's about twelve, who's holding his t-shirt over his face like he's on Cops, because he doesn't want to be filmed. He's apparently running from the law, at twelve, getting a good head start, which maybe he learned from daddy." Kathy asks the kid why he's hiding his face, and the kid says he doesn't want to be on camera. Kathy says he doesn't have to, and asks him to help them find the place. Kathy voice-overs that she was trying to tell them to go faster and then they saw Frederique and Michael running ahead of them. Yeah, it never works like that on TAR.
Frederique continues to run down the street. Ahmad voice-overs that Erik is about halfway through the deck of cards, and Frederique is still in the lead with Kathy not far behind and Michael heading into the wrong restaurant. Michael goes into another restaurant and the people let him walk through to look for Erik. Michael goes back out onto the street and complains about his jeans. In an interview, Michael says that if he knew he would be running that long, he would have worn different pants and a different shirt, especially because his pants kept falling down. Erik has only eleven pairs of cards left. Kathy gets out of the car and heads into a restaurant, but it's not the right one. She asks the employees where she might find another restaurant like that one, but not nearly as nice. In an interview, Kathy says they gave her the kind of directions she hates: "You just go over here. Yeah, go over here and then you'll see with the thing." As she leaves the restaurant, Kathy tells the camera that they'll come back later for some "'tater skins." In an interview, Kathy says she's tempted to hitch again but she's afraid that she'll get a rickshaw at this point.
Ahmad voice-overs that Erik only has seven pairs left to find and Frederique is hot on his trail. In an interview, Frederique says she didn't wear a sports bra, which wasn't good. Yeah, she had that same problem when walking on the lava, as was exploited during many a Super Bowl commercial. Frederique runs while holding her boobs in her hands. Erik finishes his matching and he's seriously sweating. Ahmad announces that Erik has his exemption. Frederique voice-overs that she saw what she thought was the restaurant so she started running up the stairs and "there was this complete neurotic guard standing over this restaurant." A little guy with a moustache stops Frederique from going any further. She tries to push her way past and he yells at her and grabs her. The camera crew people start yelling at the guard and Frederique explains what she's doing. She gets past the guy and runs into the restaurant to find Erik waiting, already finished. Kathy is the to arrive and in an interview Kathy does a pretty good Frederique impression.
Ahmad voice-overs that Michael is still lost and has passed the restaurant by a quarter mile. In an interview, Frederique says that Erik was just sitting there "like a cool cat, like nothing had happened." Kathy asks Erik if he's excited, and he says he's happy to stay in the game. In an interview, Erik says he was surprised that he was able to contain his happiness, but that it worked to make Frederique more suspicious, because he wasn't flipping out when he got the exemption. Michael arrives and asks how long they've been there. Frederique says she got there a minute too late. In an interview, Erik says that he thought Michael might have tried a little harder knowing that he could've won $20,000 for the pot. In an interview, Michael says he was upset because he shot past the place. Ahmad congratulates Erik for earning the final exemption, but that the rest of them need to take the quiz and one of them will be executed.
The contestants head for their van and write notes in their journals. In an interview, Michael says it's going to come down to every person for him- or herself, and that the pressure is increasing. He thinks that people will behave differently, and he knows that he's more reserved from the group than he has been in the past because now he really needs to observe. Michael tells Kathy that at the beginning of the game he felt very close to her but now he could take her or leave her. They all laugh. Michael says the game was a nightmare and he wants to forget it. In an interview, Frederique says that they feel like a team, which is deceitful. In an interview, Erik says that at first, he found the game intimidating, but now he's really into it.
Okay, so here's my theory on The Mole. I think it's Frederique, and here's why. She is very rarely (if ever) shown in interviews talking about how nervous she is that she might be executed. Also, I think that each of the remaining contestants has done at least one thing that you could point to as sabotage, but past seasons have shown that The Mole usually just has to sit back and let the other contestants screw up. I think that Erik thought Michael was The Mole, and Erik was the one who tied with Corbin in the last round but got the faster time, and that's why Erik was so freaked out when Michael was executed. I think Kathy knows that Frederique is The Mole and has been purposely misleading Erik. I think Michael knew it was Frederique, but he was so exhausted from the sun and the running that he messed up on the quiz or completed it too slowly. So that's my theory. I guess we'll have to wait two weeks to find out if any of it is right. But I swear to God, I came up with it about halfway through this episode. I started thinking it was Frederique last week but I have this stubborn thing about not changing my Mole pick until that person get executed, but then halfway through this episode I couldn't take it anymore and switched to Frederique. And felt really vindicated when Michael was executed.
week: They play some sort of military game and then the infamous Questions game. And the last game looks super-cool and Erik takes a digger and Kathy tells Erik to fuck off. In an interview, Kathy says that Erik turned into a combination of Corbin and Steven, and that she wanted to kick his head in. And the players take the final quiz.