Episode Report Card Pablo G: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Party's Over
By Pablo G | Season 1 | Episode 13 | Aired on 03.09.2010
d Jonah will not be enjoying and VLAH... there's Violet in all her creepy glory. "I saw Auggie kiss you last night." Riley seems mortified by this, so Violet lets up a bit and actually asks for once if Riley is interested. She explains to Violet what happened and that she has no interest. Violet says she's sorry about Riley's break-up, and Riley returns the favor by apologizing for what Violet had to go through the night before. You know... killing someone. But you know what'll make them feel better about their plights, Violet beams. They should totally go to Amanda's party. Totally.At the party, Amanda and Ella are walking and talking. They're going over final arrangements. Amanda doesn't want any lilies in the flower arrangements. Ella's on it. For once, Amanda's impressed with Ella's control of the whole thing and pays her some compliments. Elle is speechless at first, but manages to gush about how Amanda is her idol. This seems to work well and Amanda hints that Ella might be getting some additional responsibility soon. Amanda turns to talk to some party-goers and leaves Ella with an ear-to-ear smile. That is, until she sees Violet and Riley entering the party. They all greet each other and Violet immediately excuses herself, saying she's going to check out the food. "Of course you are," Ella quips to herself now that she's awkwardly left alone with Riles. She tries to get some information out of Riley about what's going on with her and Jonah, but all Riley says is that she and Jonah "had a very honest conversation," which could mean anything! Just then, Jonah shows up. Riley is surprised to see Jonah. Ella takes Jonah's showing up as a sign that he has broken the news to Riley. "It's better to know where things stand, isn't it?" Ella directs to Riley. "What's that supposed to mean?" Aww snap.
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Ella verifies what she suspects through a little more questioning. She's visibly upset and asks to take Jonah aside privately. Jonah tries to play it off in front of Riley by asking if they need to talk about some computer thing, but Ella quickly shoots back, "No, about something else." Hot. She wants to know why Jonah hasn't confessed to Riley yet. She would've never gone through with sleeping together if she knew he would be acting this way. Jonah just says it's complicated and he doesn't know how to break it to Riley. Ella thinks he's just as non-committal as Riley and maybe they should stick with each other. She stomps off in a huff. Riley saw all of this from a distance and asks Jonah what it was all about. He just says she was mad because he wouldn't schmooze. Lies. So many lies! They walk and talk with Jonah still in a bit of a daze, but Riley wants to reminisce about the good ol' days of their relationship. The party reminds her of a party they went to their freshman year of college. Jonah finally gets onboard with the memories and it's a bunch of inside joke nonsense. Riley spots Auggie across the party and they lock eyes. Violet spots Riley spotting Auggie and glowers. Glower power! Seeing Riley back with Jonah throws Auggie into a jealous fit. He storms into the kitchen, grabs a bottle of wine and begins chugging away. Chug, chug, chug!
David's Porsche roars into a parking space outside a little recording studio. Lauren's drug guy is inside laying down some phat beats. David buzzes the intercom and says he's a delivery guy. He's let him in. David starts asking right away if the guy knows Lauren and the guy inexplicably halfway admits that he might've been with her last night. Who is this guy -- DJ Dumbass? David shoves him to the ground. DJ Dumbass gets up and tries to fight back, but makes the mistake of calling Lauren a whore, which... hey, you can't blame the guy for semantic accuracy, but it sends David into a rage. He slugs the guy, sending him sprawling onto a glass coffee table. You know, nobody ever lands on a coffee table that isn't glass. David stands over DJ Dumbass and phat beats him.
Night has fallen at Amanda's party and a crowd has gathered at the steps of the mansion where Ben is getting ready to make a toast. He doesn't always drink beer, but when he does... He spends his toast complimenting Amanda in his geeky, cool way and sets up the big moment. He reaches for the ring box and Amanda perks up. He opens it for her and... WHAAAA? No ring! A keychain? What is this -- middle school? A gorgeous, white Bentley convertible pulls up the driveway. This is middle school! Amanda is noticeably disappointed. As am I.
At ULA, Lauren has decided to check herself out of the hospital. That's how good a doctor she is. She could probably even perform surgery on herself. As she's leaving, DJ Dumbass calls out to her from an ER bed. He's all bruised and bloody. Still, he feels he can be a smartass. He sarcastically compliments her bedside manner. Lauren closes the curtain around his bed so she can jam him in his bruised kidney and let him know he got what he deserved in case he's serious about pressing charges against David.
Auggie chops his finger with a knife in the kitchen on account of being drunk. Violet sees this and pulls him aside. She knows that Riley has driven him to this and Violet thinks that as long he lives near her, he'll keep turning back to the bottle. Shit, I would, too. Violet needs to get away from haunting reminders, too. She thinks they should leave LA. Auggie can't be bothered with this right now. He has fingers to chop.
Ben opens a jewelry box to reveal an insanely sparkly necklace. Only thing is: he's showing it to Ella. And for some reason, he decides to put it around her neck. Of course, Amanda sees this from the doorway, she and Ella lock eyes and Amanda walks off upset. Of course.
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Ella chases down Amanda to apologize and make it very clear there was nothing going on between her and Ben. "Ella, in what universe would you think for one moment that I was threatened by you." Snip snap. Ella is speechless, as I'm sure she was going over all the universes she is aware of in her mind and could turn up nothing. But see, what about inverse universes? By their very nature if something is not possible here, it would be possible there. This whole insult concept -- while very cutting -- is not well thought out. "I mean, you're a junior publicist with a barely-there career. You're a nobody in this town." Ouch. And it doesn't stop there. Amanda points out Ella does not measure up as her protégé and only succeeds in attracting men. "But they don't stay long, do they?" Amanda, stop this. Stop hurting my Ella! Ella tries to break in and say she wasn't trying to do anything, but Amanda isn't through. "Oh, come on. No one wears a dress that short without an endgame." She sends Ella off to go see if the party planner needs any help, which in publicist speak just means "go away." Ben shows up to reiterate he was just playing with Ella and he only has eyes for Amanda. Cool, cool eyes. He levels with Amanda that he knows she hated the car and presents her with the necklace. Amanda admits she was expecting something more, which makes Ben realize how uncool he has been all along. Amanda, however, plays it off as if she really wouldn't be interested in a marriage proposal anyway. That's dash cunning of her.
Lauren shows up at David's door. She brings up DJ Dumbass. She tries to spin the story about the guy and tries to fish for what he told David. David only cares about protecting Lauren. She's used to handling things on her own, she says. "You're not on your own anymore. You're with me." Seriously. When did David become the perfect boyfriend? They make love.
Back at the party, Riley is leading Jonah around by the hand with a big smile on her face. She's still in her nostalgia mood. Riley wants to get it on in the library like they did back in the day. I bet they did it in the erotica section. Or self help? Jonah's guilty conscience isn't allowing me to give in to temptation. He stops Riley and figures this is as good a time as any to break it to her. "If there's any chance we can go back to the way i