Episode Report Card Pablo G: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Hunter Gets Captured By the Lame
By Pablo G | Season 1 | Episode 11 | Aired on 12.01.2009
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.The great thing about living at Melrose Place is that with a stable of well-connected and attractive neighbors, you're never out for the count. Jonah now has a job at WPK, thanks to Ella, as their IT guy. Of course he does. Instead of capitalizing on the infinite potential of intra-office hanky panky, Ella decides to use Jonah to mine for information about Amanda's surveillance. Jonah has a bit of a moral hissy fit since Amanda had him sign a confidentiality agreement upon being hired, but Ella always gets her way before having one half of the Jonah/Riley monster (which I thankfully haven't taken to calling Jiley or Ronah) dismantle it with their supposed morals. Amanda is completely aware Ella had Jonah monitor information on their network, but she's completely OK with it and simply gives Ella one of the warnings she's so used to: screw up one more time and it's your ass. Ella's job is so not secure, guys. This ends -- as only working together with a friend can -- with Jonah quitting WPK and ending his friendship with Ella when he comes across an e-mail penned by her, commending the decision to screw Jonah out of his directing credit for the Boomkat music video a while back. Would've never guessed that would come back to haunt Elle.
While Jonah is off being a working man, Riley gets mixed up with Violet's sudden bullshit of a storyline involving an adopted brother/boyfriend who has tracked her down via Twitter (yes, really). He's scorned and totally hopped up on meth. Violet's not interested in any of that -- whether it be the familial connection, the promise of going back home, or any sort of secret romantic inklings with this guy. He tries to make it about owed money, but Riley steps in and pays him off just so he'll leave Violet alone. Crazy meth ex-brother/boyfriend busts into The Love Nest when Riley is alone and harasses her for interfering and refusing to divulge any info about who Auggie is in relation to Violet. Instead of inflicting physical harm to Riley, CME-B/B decides to just mess with Jonah's workstation and break stuff. That'll learn her. However, CME-B/B does strike a nerve when he smashes Jonah's video camera. Jonah comes home to find he is now utterly jobless. Way to protect The Nest, Riles.
Lauren and David are still trying out this whole dating thing. It seems to be going well, but Lauren's professional involvement with Michael finally comes to a head as David presses forward with his attempt to incriminate Dr. Mancini in Sydney's murder. Michael realizes David has stolen Sydney's bloody necklace from his car and, in a panicked final ploy, he decides to make Lauren pay for David's insubordination. He forges medical records to make it seem as though Lauren overlooked a patient's upcoming heart surgery in her prescription of blood-thinning medicine so he might have an excuse to dismiss her and her career. It seems that Lauren chooses to betray David and confide in Dr. Mancini about his kleptomania in favor of saving her own ass when she tells Michael about the necklace, which is at David's apartment since the police can't accept unlawfully obtained evidence, but it turns out to be a setup. Michael is intercepted by Detective Rodriguez as he tries to leave David's place after breaking in and stealing the necklace back. Case closed! Don't even check the blood on the necklace. Let's just move on, please.
Oh, hey, Amanda's still around. It was really important that we gave CME-B/B a lot of screen time, though. You understand. She's still in search of the mystery object she couldn't find in Sydney's apartment safe, but there'll be plenty of time for that now that she is MOVING BACK TO THE COMPLEX! MUAH HA HA HA! Exciting times ahead. Please?
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Have to address that this "Previously on Melrose Place" is getting out of hand. "Hi! I'M ELLA! Simms. Junior publicist!" and "JONAH! You are a hugely talented filmmaker!" Enough.
We begin this evening with the lovely Ms. Woodward on her phone, talking about the mystery object of interest she discovered was missing from Sydney's wall safe. She sits at her desk at WPK browsing through profiles of all of The Complex tenants on her computer until she stops on a profile of Michael Mancini. Suddenly, she knows exactly where she needs to be looking.
David and Lauren return from a date and stop by The Complex Pool to discuss the front row seats they just shared at a Kings Of Leon show. David would like to know if they will be having sex on fire after they share a long, passionate kiss, but Lauren has to decline because she has "rounds" very early in the morning. Actually, you know... she might really have rounds. We haven't seen much whorishness lately. Lauren begins to apologize for failing to live up to expectations since she knows most of David's dates don't end without humps. David shushes her affectionately. "You're totally different. [You're not a whore like those other girls.]" He kisses her goodnight and they part ways for the evening.
At The Love Nest of Nurtured Annoyance. Jonah spastically tries to put on a black tie though he is shirtless. Why? Jonah expounds that he has been given a pity job by Ella as the WPK IT guy. Riles is a little uncomfortable at the idea of Jonah going to work with Ella, but that's to be expected. Riley is uncomfortable at the idea of anything that isn't stupid and selfish. To top it off, she can't offer much help financially, since no one is hiring teachers mid-semester. Suddenly, and probably as a ploy to distract from her overall crappiness, Riley starts getting a little frisky. She admits to Jonah that she has a huge "Honey, I'm home" fantasy before laying him down on their bed and climbing on top of him. Get a room, you two. Nobody wants to see that.
Meanwhile, there's some friskiness going on at the Mansion Mancini. Michael is all over Vanessa until she somewhat inappropriately brings up David in the middle of it all. Yeah, please bring up my illegitimate son while I'm trying to sex you. Thanks. Michael is probably appreciative, however, that this raises a red flag in the perpetually ongoing battle of dimwits between father and son. The doctor is definitely distracted from the task at hand with Vanessa by this new information that David was snooping around his car. He asks to be excused for a minute so he can go out and check the status of his vehicle. He goes straight for where he had Sydney's bloody necklace stashed to find that it is now missing. Damn that cat burglar son of mine!