Episode Report Card Pablo G: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Wondrous Boat Ride
By Pablo G | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.13.2009
parked car out behind Coal, trying to muster up enough sobriety to drive, when Violet knocks on his passenger side window. He rolls down the window and she leans up against the car, looking more like a hooker than Lauren ever has (even in the act). She playfully says it's her responsibility as bartender to make sure he can drive. He gets out of the car for some "fresh air." More like "fresh derriere." I crack myself up. Violet says he looks like he's been wanting to do something all night. "You're a doctor. Make me feel better," she implores. Violet pulls him close and kisses him. Things get hot right away so Michael opens his car door, which comically opens vertically and covers them up briefly as if it's going to cut to commercial. Instead, he lays Violet down into the passenger seat. Without Michael noticing, she reaches for her cell phone, presumably to take pictures or video of what they're doing. And there's a valuable lesson here: never cheat with someone who owns a cell phone.We're back on the sex boat. David and Hassan have finally sat down to talk. Hassan isn't interested in the sculpture David is trying to unload. Instead he wants David to help him get his hand on an Egyptian antique valued at $2.2 million. David isn't feeling this idea. He's only comfortable working alone. Nothing personal, he says. Hassan can't believe that David would show up on his boat (though he invited him) and eat his food, enjoy his women and then turn down his job offer. David: "I draw the line at playing fetch." He gets up to leave and Hassan gets up to get between him and the exit. David sees he can't really escape so he preemptively shoves Hassan. He comes back and pimp slaps David. Then Hassan's hired goons take David down and beat him. Hired goons?
COMMERCIALS
Lauren walks out of her apartment into the courtyard, leaving for a shift at the hospital. She notices David dragging himself to his apartment all bloody and beaten. She asks what happened. David makes up a lie about borrowing a friend's motorcycle and sliding out. Lauren tries to examine him, but David won't let her. His labored breathing leads Lauren to suspect he could have internal bleeding and a concussion. She won't let him sleep it off like he wants. Lauren insists on taking him to the hospital.
Riley comes home to The Love Nest from running to find Jonah selling his camera to some other nerd. Obviously Jonah was trying to do this without Riley's knowledge. She vetoes the sale. Nerd Buyer can't believe it. He drove all the way out there for the camera, but Riley doesn't care. Poor Nerd Buyer. He leaves without his camera. Riley wants to know why Jonah would sell his camera. He lies and says he wanted to upgrade because he's had this one for over a year. Riley knows that's not the truth. Jonah fesses up about his financial problems. People are cutting back and recording things for themselves, he says. He's had to cut his rates to attract clients. Riley sighs and looks like she's ready to cave and do the modeling thing, but Jonah cuts her off and takes all responsibility for their predicament like he normally does. Riley says she's not marrying him for his money. Jonah gets emotional because he thought he could come up with a brilliant plan. Naturally, Riley is certain they'll come up with a plan together.
WPK. Ella walks in as Caleb waits around the corner to pounce on her. He wants verification on a text Ella sent him about Riley turning down the offer. He can't believe it's true and he wants Ella to take responsibility for displeasing Anton. Ella's plan is to look for someone else, but Riley appears behind her to ask if the job is still available. Ella turns to smirk at Caleb.
COMMERCIALS.
Michael pulls back an ER curtain to find David battered and bleeding. He asks what happened with what sounds like genuine concern. David deadpans that he tripped. This reminds Michael he's dealing with his insolent son and asks if this happened during a heist. Just then Lauren walks in and covers for David, comparing the wheelchair she's grabbed for him with the motorcycle he purportedly fell off of. David doesn't need any stinking wheelchair. He walks off. Michael asks for full-disclosure from Lauren. When she starts to say she doesn't know the details, he cuts her off and orders her to come straight to him when she finds out what happened.
At the new fashion shoot, Anton is already praising Riley. Ella is like, "Whatever." It's a paycheck. Jonah walks in excited about the press kit he's put together for Anton when Riley turns around and Jonah sees her. His eyes go wide and he starts to breathe a little hard. Jonah, the good fiancée he is, wants to make perfectly sure Riley's ok with this because this was his mess. Riley says they're in it together now. Jonah starts saying he's going to look for work, but Riley isn't worried, and she reminds him he never needs to hide things from her.
Caleb walks up to Anton saying networks are chomping at the bit. Or is it champing? Anton says he owes it all to WPK and he wants to celebrate. He asks Caleb out to dinner. They talk about wanting meat. Really.
Lauren examines David's x-rays. Don't forget Lauren actually knows what she's doing when it comes to medicine. She can tell from his injuries that he's lying about what happened. David would have no skin right now if he slid off his motorcycle. He does however have a fractured rib. Also, she did see him at the party and knows he's at least lying about where he was. Lauren asks for the truth. David gives sparse details. His story is just that he got into a fight with some guy in a bad situation. That's a thorough explanation to a close friend right there. He turns the conversation back on Lauren, saying he can't lead a perfect, wholesome life like Lauren. Lauren thinks on that and smiles at her whorishness. She excuses herself to take a phone call.
The call is from Wendi. Lauren tries to explain what happened on the boat, but Wendi thinks Lauren just quit and looked for the easy way out of the situation. Still, Wendi believes her. Otherwise, she would've already fired her. She's going to give Lauren another chance, but she warns her that she never forgets a debt.
Michael comes home from work and is greeted by his wife at the door. They talk again about their search for a nanny, but now Vanessa is excited that she is in the process of interviewing someone. Surprise, surprise when Michael looks over to see Violet playing with his son. She smiles sheepishly at him. Michael takes her outside immediately to find out what the hell she's doing. Violet's whole demeanor changes to manipulative bitterness. Michael's lost until she reveals she's Sydney's daughter. He just wants to know what she wants from him since he's sure she can't be his daughter. Violet pulls out her cell phone and plays the video she shot of them making out in his car for him to see. "You hurt my mother. She was trying to get better but you wouldn't let her. And now, you're going to pay." Violet continues to hold the phone up to Michael as she lets a big grin spread across her face. Blackmail: there's an app for that.