Episode Report Card Pablo G: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Trying To Be Complex
By Pablo G | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.08.2009
all me. Auggie doesn't take kindly to Ella's remark and bails. Jonah thinks he should follow, but Riley reminds him of his film engagement. Oops... poor choice of words. Sorry, guys. Riley tries to talk Jonah out of going, but Ella is like, "Yeah... you might be able to skip out on your lame teaching job, but the rest of us are glamorous. Let me talk to your boyfriend." She reminds Jonah that he has the opportunity to hand over his short film to a three-time Oscar-winning producer. Ella walks off, saying not to worry about Auggie. The camera follows her exit right into... Auggie, who is chatting up the little redhead. Her name is Violet. They're talking about how he met Sydney. At an AA Meeting. No joke here. That's some serious stuff. Apparently, Sydney convinced Auggie to become a cook. I'd feel sad here, but we really haven't seen yet if Auggie is a good cook. That might've been a mean-spirited slight to encourage him to go into a profession he would suck at. Don't put it past ol' dead Sydney. Lauren runs in simply to ask Auggie where David is. Yeah. Where is David?Cut to him being interrogated. Both David and the investigator are trying to play hardball and it's coming out more like T-ball. It plays out like any other overripe interrogation scene would. Investigator reveals David comes from a rich family but he's a troubled kid. David refuses to answer anything without a lawyer. Blah blah blah. Of course, before anything good can happen, someone busts in to say David is free to go for now.
Ella is the one who has come to David's rescue. She catches his attention by calling him "O.J." Niiiiice. And tactful. David asks her how she was able to spring him. She gave a fake alibi, saying he was with her last night. David is more alarmed at the prospect of people thinking they hooked up last night than the implications of Ella lying to the police. Hooking up with a hot manipulative blonde during the timeframe you're suspected of murder is an alarming prospect for most men, I suppose. Ella says, who cares? "Oh, so it gives them something to tweet about." Wow. We're past the point-of-no-return on this show's desperation to make sure no one forgets this show is current. They walk out together in a hurry as the investigator looks on with bravado. Let him puff out his chest. He really gave a good show in that interrogation room. He thinks.
Back at the hospital, Lauren is talking with the same patient from earlier. The conversation veers over to the patient's son who flew in from Manhattan to see his mother who has had a minor heart attack. Lauren takes notice of how caring the young man is with his mother before she gets a phone call and has to excuse herself. It's her father and he's been laid off from his job. This is relevant for two reasons: Reference to the current state of the economy. CHECK. Conflict for Lauren's character because it seems now she has to cover her own tuition for med school. CHECK. Hey, I empathize with anyone struggling in this economy, but it's called scholarships. The kind your dad doesn't give you.
Back at the young lovebirds' nest, Jonah and Riley are trying to get their day back in order. Can't let your landlord's brutal murder which happened right outside your door stop you. It's like Pink Floyd said, "Out of my way. It's a busy day. I've got things on my mind." Riley tries to slip out behind the elephant in the room, but Jonah calls elephant on her. "What's the deal?" he asks her. Her reaction to the question seems to say, "Oh, right! The proposal. Yeeeeeah. About that. MMMMmmmmmmmsorrygottagobye!" That actually might've been a better response than the non-committal crap she gives Jonah. He's had plenty of time to mull this over, she says, and she's dealing with what happened today with Sydney. She asks for one more day to think. Jonah looks off to the side for a second and cuts her with "It's not supposed to be a homework assignment. It's a yes or no question." This poor girl needs a new job if she's going to hang. I love you, teachers of America. I really do. Riley asks if they can talk about this another time, and Jonah goes passive-aggressive. Jeez, no wonder she's being hesitant. She walks out.
Ella and David are just now walking out of the police station. I know this show isn't in real-time, but jeez. What is that police station -- a cavern? Ella asks what really happened last night. David just remembers them hitting the bottle and him waking up with Sydney already gone. He wonders to Ella why she lied for him. She says that she knows he doesn't have it in him to kill anyone. David suspects that he's her alibi. Ella laughs as she checks her teeth in a parked car's mirror. She says if she did it she wouldn't have been so sloppy. Cue weird flashback reverie of Ella coming home to find Sydney in her apartment. They go back and forth with small jabs until Sydney asks Ella how she could tell David she was sleeping with his father. I think Ella could tell him because it's conducive to way more acceptable behavior for all involved than Sydney hooking up with David. That's just me. Ella tries to beat back Sydney's barbs, but she's obviously over-matched by the old school Melrose Placer. It's like playing against that old man on the basketball court with an afro. No matter how old he is, you're about to get done. Sydney does Ella by telling her she has until the end of the month to get out. She's being evicted. Swish! David snaps Ella out of her daydream just in time for a slick Mercedes to pull up beside them. "You called your dad?!" Ella asks, surprised. David says he didn't as the Mercedes opens its passenger door, DeLorean-style to reveal Dr. Michael Mancini of Melrose Place fame. Wait... I suppose that doesn't work here. Um...yeah. He tells David to get in the car.
COMMERCIALS. Premiere party again! Text Facebook or something. To get... updates? Why? If you say so.
Pleasant car ride between father and illegitimate son. Some details about the doctor's history are rehashed for the new audience. He helped Sydney fake her death 11 years ago and cheated on his wife with her. Sydney was sleeping with David to get back at him. David takes the opportunity to swipe at his estranged father by telling him Sydney said he's better in bed. Take that, dad. David's mother is dead, apparently, and Dr. Mancini spent 13 years or so denying David's existence. Take that, son. David points out he never calls his father to ask for anything, and suggests he call his lawyer because the police will come to him next. This gets the doctor angry enough to pull over the Mercedes right next to a bridge full of homeless bums so he can kick David out. Take that, bums.
At a colorful outdoor birthday party, Ella meets up with Jonah and starts leading him around while talking like any good publicist can do in their sleep. She's there conveniently to try and get the birthday girl into US Weekly. For our purposes, she's there so that Jonah's awkward stage as a character gets some narration for this scene. Ella listens to Jonah whine about not wanting to go through with this for about a minute before she cuts him off. I'm falling in love. She tells Jonah he's a good filmmaker and she's not just saying that because she's his publicist, manager and agent. It's because she has a thing for him, which she doesn't do a very good job of hiding at the end of her pep talk. Jonah gets the hint and tells her he proposed to Riley today. Katie Cassidy nails Ella's reaction here. Her mouth drops open in a stupified way, she looks up for words or thoughts for a moment, blanks the look on her face before turning three o'clock and walking away without saying a word. We won't say anything about the look on Jonah's face.
Lily Allen plays while Lauren prints out some past due bills at the hospital. She then gets asked out by sick woman patient's son. Beware, Lauren, Lily Allen is supposed to play at the end of a relationship, not the beginning. It doesn't help that the guy looks like a creepy cross between Clark Kent, Jared Leto and a guy who should be taking a seat with Chris Hansen.
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