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Now that everyone has masturbated and there is no more masturbation for people to do, it's time to start the couples phase again. Langham is pissed as hell when his sexual partner turns out to be somebody other than Jane (and he can't get it up), but then can't seem to get aroused with Jane either. Masters and Johnson spend their clinic time debating the place of attraction and chemistry in the physiology of sex, but because he is Bill Masters he cannot comprehend this obvious, basic thing.
After a chat with the Provost about his daughter's Vivian intense crush on him -- and the Scully family's unfortunate and near-constant use of "the pussy's whiskers" as a compliment for a fellow -- Ethan decides to throw her one. It's fairly disastrous, especially when he learns she was a virgin and therefore has decided to entrap him or some such Ethan nonsense. Jane bitches him out and he pulls himself together, deciding that dating his boss's awesome daughter is probably going to be more fun than constantly volunteering for Gini's less-than-admiring treatment.
During the Scully wedding anniversary party (Allison Janney finally appears, but does little else besides be a glamorously low-key Allison Janney character who is married to a gay dude) Libby starts bleeding -- and once Gini is summoned to carry the Masters on her back like always, her increasingly obnoxious son decides to run away to his deadbeat dad's house. Ethan recovers Henry, saving the day and leading to a possible détente.
Between Ethan's new place as Scully's quasi-son, his mother's aggressively sunny denial, his worrisome sleepwalking and the accelerated cracks in his relationship with Libby in light of her miscarriage, Bill has a tough night of it. On the upside, he gets the chance to scream at his mom about his childhood, which is probably helpful -- as is a brief apology to Scully for blackmailing him about the gay stuff -- and the day, Gini takes another chance with his boundaries, providing no small amount of comfort against his protests, as he eventually physically closes her eyes for her so she won't see him abjectly sobbing like a maniac.
For an episode so full of meaty moments and hard-won climaxes the script was pretty dodgy, but the cast commits as heartily as usual. Ethan's wide-eyed terror at getting treated the exact same way he's been treating Virginia for the better part of a year is funny and satisfying, and hopefully a learning experience. Masters's breakdowns with his mother and eventually Gini are all the more touching for the fact that it takes everything he's got just to show his fantastic wife, like, basic compassion.
On balance, it was probably a little subpar overall, but the show's set a high bar for itself -- and definitely put the effort in the right places: Libby is, of course, a portrait of poise and grief that never loses sight of Bill's own complex emotional situation; his mother too continues to shine, as much through the wise, harsh things she refuses to say as the meaningless but kind things she does. And while Gini's portrayal of a single mom at the edge of sanity was smart and subtle, it will be nice to get back, hopefully, to the sharp subjectivity that made her such a fresh protagonist in the first place.
week: The season's midpoint finds Libby and Bill on a post-traumatic vacation to Miami, where Bill learns about swingers and presumably does their marriage even more accidental damage. Alone in the office, Gini and Jane do some experimenting of their own, while -- fascinatingly enough -- Austin's eye is drawn to no less an august personage than Mrs. Barton Scully herself.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!PREVIOUSLY
Between Libby ending her second trimester, his mother's renaissance, and memories of his own awful childhood, Bill's just about hit his limit. And while Bill's star is falling -- in part due to his reckless blackmail of his boss and mentor, Provost Scully -- Ethan's is rising, especially now that he's being courted pretty aggressively by the boss's daughter, Vivian. The "couples" subjects are rankling to get back into the lab to have more scientific sex, while Gini's ex-husband George is still wreaking chaos everywhere he goes.
THE BATH
Gini: "What a lovely bath! I sure am glad George is stepping up..."
Tessa: "And we're back."
Gini: "Whoa! Mommy's having Mommy Time!"
Henry: "That is over. Also, Dad wants to move back in. Also, why are you so withholding? Also, I am a little kid being deployed as a weapon."
Gini: "In order: That's not happening, it's complicated, and I'm sorry your Dad's a jerkoff."
Henry: "Okay but on the strictest level, I am confused by him sleeping over sometimes."
Gini: "One time, but I feel you. Give me one second and we can discuss your Daddy day, and its abrupt end."
Henry: "When I think about Daddy it's on the level of an eight-year-old boy, which works out because that's what he is. So we're both agreed that you are kind of mean to him."
Gini: "You have just answered your own damn question, frankly. But I am not mean. If I were actually mean to your Daddy, he would go the hell away and I would respect myself a lot more."
Henry: "In summation, one weekend with Dad is better than a million days here with you."
Gini: "There are times I would also prefer that. But it's not happening, and I can't tell you why, because why is, George doesn't give a shit about you."
24 WEEKS
Ethan: "Size of a cantaloupe."
Libby: "Last time was a navel orange and before that it was a grape. I got a farmer's market down there."
Ethan: "Are you enjoying the second trimester? Listen to the heartbeat."
Libby: "Sounds like I got a submarine down there! My body is a wonderland."
DUMB CHRISTIAN COUPLE
Boy: "We've been trying for six months! Ever since the wedding night."
Masters: "That's a long time for no results. Maybe you have a dud wife. What's going on with your menses?"
Girl: "First of all, that word bums me out. Second of all, what is that?"
Boy: "Does it involve praying? Because we have done a shit-ton of that."
Girl: "Sarah and Abraham got it done, and they had way more problems in life than we do."
Masters: "What exactly is it that you are doing in bed?"
Dummies: "The crossword? In the Bible it says you lay together, so we've been doing that a lot..."
Masters: "No, I meant fucking."
Dummies: "What's that?"
Masters: "Get out of my office."
LATER
Gini: "Seriously? Are you getting punk'd? That seems really unlikely."
Bill: "It's 1959. Dumb in 1959 is dumber than you can imagine. I was like, if you want a family, forget the Bible and do what I tell ya."
Gini: "Thou shalt have no other Gods before Bill Masters."
Bill: "I'm still not good at recognizing sarcasm, so: Yes. I told them about doing it, my area of expertise as you may recall, and the wife was like she saw the Second Coming."
Gini: "Wait'll she sees her husband coming!"
Bill: "That kind of humor is what we call low-hanging fruit."
Gini: "Wait'll she sees her husband's..."
Bill: "-- Enough. We're not a CBS sitcom over here."
LIBBY
Libby: "Oh hey, Bill. Just finished up my appointment you don't care about."
Bill: "Did he do all the tests? Did he take your blood pressure? Did you pee?"
Libby: "Yeah, we did all the stuff. Good job pretending to care, though. See you bitches later, I'm gonna go look at some babies!"
Bill: "She loves staring at those dumb babies."
Libby: "It's cheaper than a matinee, and you're guaranteed a happy ending!"
God: "Not necessarily."
Gini: "I'll grab some popcorn and come with."
PROVOST BARTON SCULLY
Scully: "She described it as a date."
Ethan: "I poured whiskey on her tits and made her feel like crap, and she came back for more, so I guess yeah, that's a date in 1959."
Scully: "Well, okay. My daughter thinks you're the pussy's whiskers."
Ethan: "Wow, that saying bums me out."
Scully: "In fact she's thought you were the pussy's whiskers since she was a kid."
Ethan: "The more you say I'm the pussy's whiskers, the less I feel like the pussy's whiskers."
Scully: "Pussy's whiskers pussy's whiskers pussy's whiskers. Take her out for an egg cream and maybe you can be my son-in-law and we can really give Bill Masters what for."
ROOM 5
Lady: "I'll just be over here masturbating like a banshee while you guys chat. It'll be like Game Of Thrones."
Bill: "I guess at some point we have to admit we have reached the limits of current masturbation-watching science."
Gini: "Yeah, after a while they all kind of blend together. Did you know this is the 200th time we have watched somebody masturbate?"
Bill: "So it's back to Couples Phase, then."
Gini: "Yeah, having somebody else there does tend to change things up a little bit. I just wish it were a more controlled study."
Bill: "Are you questioning my science?"
Gini: "I mean, we're not studying the ineffable part of effing. Attraction, intimacy. Look at Austin and Jane, the blondes from the pilot that work here."
Bill: "They are so good at fucking each other."
Gini: "Right, that's my point. They're good at fucking each other."
AUSTIN
Austin: "So I will attach this prosthetic leg that is state of the art, and then you can walk again. It is after a big war... Hang on, I got Masters & Johnson staring through the window."
Masters & Johnson: "Hi!"
Jane: "Nothing cool ever happens in this typing pool."
Austin: "Hey Jane, guess what? We get to science each other again."
Jane: "Is this like when you said it was homework?"
Austin: "No, that was just me being gross. I mean it this time."
Jane: "Great, because I really loved being a pioneer on the front lines of science. Just like a hardy Gold Rush bride, or an astronaut! Only with a married guy's dick in me."
Austin: "Cool. Wear that perfume I like!"
BUT NO
Some Lady: "Hey, I'm here for doing science to each other?"
Austin: "No, no, no. This is not Jane, this is some lady."
Gini: "Yeah, because it's science."
Austin: "Well, it would make me a disgusting creep and hypocrite if I didn't try to fuck this random lady, but no promises."
Lady: "Uh, not to be rude but are we gonna get going at some point?"
Austin: "A boner is a wish your heart makes, lady. It's a place inside me I've never seen. Give me a sec."
Gini: "See, this is exactly what I was talking about."
Bill: "She seems perfectly lovely, Miss Johnson. What are you saying, that vaginas aren't interchangeable? Ludicrous!"
Austin: "[Impotence cliché.]"
Lady: "[Impotence cliché.]"
You're talking about pistils and stamens. I'm talking about springtime.
EGG CREAM
Vivian: "So we're having an egg cream now. Great. Please don't put it on my body."
Ethan: "I wanted to take you on a proper date to apologize for showing you the black hole of gross inside myself the other night. And to thank you for overlooking it."
Vivian: "It's not because I am naïve and getting ahead of myself, though. It's because I am a modern woman."
Ethan: "You're about to turn 19! Which is about 11 in 1959 years."
Vivian: "Besides, really you're on a date with my dad, your gay boss. That's why you're apologizing. Right? In case I tell on you?"
Ethan: "Kind of, but I also think you are beautiful and charming, and you deserve a real boyfriend. Have you ever seen The Wizard Of Oz?"
Vivian: "Oh, here we go."
Ethan: "Well then you know that at the end of the movie, she goes home to where it is shitty and everything's in black and white and pigs will eat you. A horrible place called Kansas, where there is no music, and old bitches steal your dog."
Vivian: "What is with you and this movie?"
Ethan: "I'm just saying, you're Kansas. You're the shitty thing I'm prepared to settle for, now that Oz won't have me."
Vivian: "What if I pretended to be super slutty and said everything I think boys want to hear, even though I have no idea what I'm talking about?"
Ethan: "That would help, I'm not gonna lie."
Vivian: "Consider this egg cream your junk. I drink your egg cream. Slurp! I drink it up!"
SECONDS LATER
Ethan: "What's on the menu, now that we are about to fuck?"
Vivian: "Whatever you want. Just do it and I'll figure out what's going on."
Ethan: "Okay, how about this?"
Vivian: "That feels just awful. Keep doing it."
Ethan: "What about over here?"
Vivian: "Uh, yeah. Yeah that is definitely the spot. That is some good sex you are doing to me, for sure."
Ethan: "Whoops, I came."
Vivian: "Is it over?"
Ethan: "I just said I came."
Vivian: "Hey, did you come blood? Because there is blood soaking this entire situation down here."
It is a total massacre! I have never had sex with a lady virgin, but if that is what happens, you are welcome to it. Yikes.
I will doublecheck using Yahoo! Answers -- the Wikipedia for the illiterate and insane, and thus my source for all medical knowledge -- and find out for sure... Oh, here we go.
Q: "How much blood comes out a virgin when you pop her cherry?"
A: "About 8 gallons usually."
So there you have it.
BEDTIME
Gini: "Wake up and go to bed."
Henry: "Is it midnight?"
Gini: "No, but it's wicked late."
Henry: "Why do you even bother coming home at all?"
Gini: "Uh, what?"
Henry: "You are having it all and I don't like it. What's even the point of moms?"
Gini: "Okay, I see what you're saying and I understand it's hard, but also: Sorry life is so tough for you, what with having a roof over your head and shoes on your feet and those dorky glasses on your stupid face. How about this, how about we do something fun tomorrow night? A special dinner and cherry pie, and a Ferris wheel ride with Tessie."
Henry: "Your terms are acceptable."
But halfway up the stairs: "...But. After the Ferris wheel, I'm gonna go live with Dad. I don't want to live with you anymore."
Good luck with that. I mean, I feel for her because he is just being awful and he doesn't even know it, but also, what are you gonna do? Run away? I'm sure. Do your worst, Henry. It sucks because normally you could treat the situation with respect and explain that things cost money and money comes from work and then make him keep the family books for a month, or at least open a savings account in a jar or something.
But because he's constructed a mythology about George that solves all those problems -- for everybody, really -- she can't do any of those things without explaining why he's stuck with her, or how it's not her that's the asshole in this situation, so she just has to bear the whole thing on her back and not punch his little lights out. I mean, it would be funny to help him pack a suitcase and leave him on George's doorstep, but it wouldn't really solve anything. At best he would show back up an hour later with some new confabulated reason she's an asshole, and at worst she's just getting rid of her child for being too grumpy, and she never sees him again.
SPEAKING OF
Libby wakes alone, to find a sleepwalking Bill, in the baby's nursery. Packing up a suitcase, for Libby and the baby. To save them from himself, to save himself from Francis.
AM
Libby: "Seriously, this seems like a doctor kind of thing. Don't you think?"
Bill: "They're merely dreams, they mean nothing."
Essie: "Yoo-hoo! I just let myself in!"
Bill: (Crushes coffee mug.)
Essie: "I mean, I was invited. We're going shopping!"
Libby: "Maternity clothes. Not that you care."
Bill: "It's true, I don't. I don't even care what we call it."
Essie: "First son after the father's father, second son after the mother's father, third son after the father's eldest brother..."
Bill: "We're not having a litter. And we're sure as shit not naming it after Francis."
This whole episode is full of those, like an almanac of little weird traditions and things; it's maybe sloppy writing, like when a person learns a word and then can't stop using the word over and over, but it works overall: Anniversaries, naming rituals -- everything about birth and love and dating and marriage and sex -- and all the ways we obfuscate it, pinning it to a card like your 200th masturbator and saying, "We aren't talking about dicks going places, we're talking about romance. Marriage ceremonies aren't a creepy handoff of sexual goods and services, they're a beautiful moment when a woman becomes almost a person. That baby came from heaven, not from fucking."
Straight people do this so often they have no idea how much of every single conversation is a coded celebration of straight sex that leaves the rest of us out, but for those of us who can hear it -- on the sidelines, unprivileged to simply hear "talking" -- it becomes a kind of blank verse: Poetic, moved by rhythms so ancient they don't even have names. The lost language of flowers.
Libby: "Oh, and don't forget the Scully anniversary tonight. What's the 30th anniversary?"
Essie: "I think Pearl?"
Libby: "Bill, I think we'll call him William if it's a boy, and if it's a girl..."
Bill: "We can discuss this later. It's hard to breathe in the same room as my mother."
If it's a girl, then the call's coming from inside the house. At least with a boy you know what has to happen: One day he grows up and blackmails you for being gay, or waits for you to die, and that's the end of it. But a girl? He won't know her as a child and he won't know her as a woman and he won't ever know her at all. Every man will be a rapist and every woman will be even more holy than she is now.
THE CAF
Ethan: "Practically rape. She raped her virginity onto me."
Jane: "LOL, we are not having that conversation."
Ethan: "And now I am the pussy's whiskers, and I didn't even want to live in Kansas..."
Jane: "Honey, calm down. Go to the party with her and act like a person. Are you saying guys don't want to be a girl's first? I was given to understand that's the..."
Ethan: "Hell no! It's too much responsibility! They look at you like you're Oz, you're their everything, they want your love and your time and your devotion, they're basically glued to you for the rest of your natural life..."
Jane: "Do they hit you when you say no, though?"
Ethan: "It's like a thrift store sign. You break it, you bought it."
Jane: "If you spent half the time actually talking to women that you do reifying shit you picked up on the playground you might have a chance at the big leagues."
Ethan: "So what do I do?"
Jane: "Send her flowers, maybe. It's big moment in her life, regardless of what it is to you. We put a pretty big premium on this one, culturally. It's a way of exhibiting control over the uncontrollable."
Ethan: "Well, it's not a dozen-rose situation. That's a bit much. But maybe like one?"
Jane: "That means I love you."
Ethan: "Barf. White roses?"
Jane: "That's for brides."
Ethan: "Lavender?"
Jane: "Love at first sight."
Ethan: "Peach?"
Jane: "Closing the deal."
Ethan: "Oh my God, are you just making this shit up?"
Jane: "Yellow's for friendship. Go with yellow for the poor thing."
Ethan: "How many, like six?"
Jane: "You are the fucking worst. Be her, for just one second. How does she feel?"
Ethan: "Lousy?"
Jane: "Lousy."
AUSTIN
Austin: "It's sneaky and underhanded, making me have science with a random! I'm not some kind of lab monkey!"
Masters: "Actually, that's exactly what you are. Are you an idiot?"
Austin: "I couldn't fuck that lady because I was expecting Jane..."
Masters: "Nonperformance is still valid information. It's valuable to the study."
Austin: "I can't be on record as non-performing!"
Johnson: "It's fucking anonymous, you creep. Look, sorry your feelings are hurt, but this is the way science works. You can't all be at the top of the bell curve, can you."
Austin: "You should have warned me."
Johnson: "Okay, that's true. But now that we are..."
Austin: "Shred that documentation! Void last night!"
Masters: "Drop out of the study!"
Austin: "But then how will I science with Jane?"
Masters: "This ain't a dating service. Talk in code."
Austin: "Okay. One more time with Jane, as my first baseline, and then warn me."
Johnson: "That's reasonable."
Austin: "I have feelings! I'm not just a piece of sex meat!"
Masters: "Not last night you weren't."
SHOPPING
Libby: "It's about anxiety, I think."
Essie: "Austin's impotence in the last scene? Probably, but I think..."
Libby: "No, the sleepwalking."
Essie: "He has literally nothing to be anxious about. Fancy job, gorgeous wife, baby on the way. Back in my day we vanished at five months and didn't come back until the kid was a month old."
Libby: "He was packing my suitcase for the hospital. Toothbrush, pajamas... Why would it be about that? About the baby? Why pack up the baby's shit too? He put a nightlight in there, like we were never coming back."
Essie: "I'm sure he had no idea what was going on. I was born before therapy."
Libby: "Did he do similar stuff when he was sleepwalking as a kid?"
Essie: "I forgot he even did it. Too close to my own stuff. But I do remember one time we found him in the living room, trying to fly a kite."
Libby: "Never anything scary, or violent? As you remember it?"
"Oh, goodness no! It was always something darling. Like a little wind-up toy, tottering about."
ROOM FIVE
Austin: "Jane, thank God. I was about ready to join the priesthood."
Jane: "I don't see that working out for you."
Austin: "Okay, are you ready? You need any special activities?"
Jane: "Nope, I'm good to go... But hey, maybe you could use a hand?"
He could use four, but nothing works. Masters and Johnson watch a good long while, as the stymied science lovers try a variety of stuff, but nothing. They're like, "His readings make no sense at all, frankly. This is dumb." Jane tries to be nice and takes him out for coffee, when they call it off. But he leans his beautiful head back, in tears, and screams, "WHY WON'T MY DICK WORK? FUCK!"
THE ANNIVERSARY PARTY
Is a black-tie affair. Libby looks gorgeous, they both look lovely.
Libby: "I got an ashtray, Tahitian pearl. Turns out your mom is right. Forty's ruby, fifty's gold..."
Bill: "And 70's granite. Matching headstones."
Libby: "I would never admit it, but I kind of dig this side of you."
Bill: "I'm in a good mood. Thanks to work."
Libby: "Well, then it's a good time to tell you I thought of a girl's name. Catherine."
Scully's wife Margaret -- Allison Janney, always a winner -- comes running up, looking like a Sirk heroine in full-on glamour gear. She falls all over them; is delightful.
Masters: "Congratulations, Barton..."
Scully: "Bill. If you'll excuse me, I have to climb all over my son-in-law to be..."
After much gladhanding with the Chancellor about how special Ethan is going to be, etc., the Scullys take center stage. It's a huge ballroom, the whole world is there. Everyone looks so beautiful.
Scully, tinging for attention: "Every thirty years, Margaret lets me get a word in edgewise..."
Margaret: "Ha! Humorous."
Scully: "And so before she changes her mind, I want to tell you a story."
It's long but the point is that he had this hat he loved, a Homburg like Anthony Eden, and it cost more than his car, and he forgot it one day at the Automat, and then Margaret showed up with his hat later that week, and that was fate. It's a cute story, I guess.
Scully: "...And the rest, as they say, is biology. So after thirty years, Margaret my love, I'm awfully glad I lost that hat."
Margaret: "You didn't."
It's a well-rehearsed conspiracy of laughter, the quick-talking banter that proves how much they love each other; it gets the response they want, and everybody goes back to drinking.
Margaret: "So then that would be Ethan Haas? Damn."
Vivian: "He hasn't spoken to me all night!"
Libby: "I'm sure it's no big deal."
Margaret: "Men don't know what they want, sweetheart. That's why they have wives to tell them."
Libby, awkwardly: "Well, it sounds like Barton knew his mind when he picked you."
Margaret: "That dumb story. I showed up at the hospital every day for two weeks, and he never once noticed me. I had to finally pretend there was a Sadie Hawkins dance and ask him out myself."
"You have to make them love you. That's the real story."
OUTSIDE
Ethan: "Vivian, what is this? My boss and his boss are inside, this is scary on many levels. Did you not get my roses?"
Vivian: "Yeah, I got 'em. I didn't drag you out here for another round..."
Ethan: "About which I am so, so sorry. I wish you'd told me, though."
Vivian: "If you'd known, the same shit would've gone down."
Ethan: "Not really. You just seemed very chill and grownup and Technicolor for a minute."
Vivian: "You wanted me to seem that way. And now I am, apparently. But I just brought you out here to say don't worry."
Ethan: "Whew! For a second I thought..."
Vivian: "-- Don't worry, that is, because the fucking will get better. And there is going to be plenty of it, because now we are in love."
His eyes go wide, like a prophecy coming true after all. In one story, it's a funny moment.
"You have my love and devotion," Vivian says, "Because you and I, we were meant to be together."
But in the story where he punched a woman for not following exactly these instructions, for no other reason than him demanding it, it's a bit more than that. The hope is that by getting Ethaned by this girl -- you be me, and I'll be you -- he would be able to neutralize his creepy sad projections onto Gini and see her as a human being. But hope and Ethan seems like a losing proposition, so we'll see. I think in the end he'll prove pragmatic at least, which is halfway there.
"UNFORGETTABLE"
Is the song that gets Libby on her feet. She loves it.
Libby: "We can still dance, you know, despite my girth."
Bill: "Can I not entice you home, instead? I've got a headache."
Libby: "Spoken like a true lady. Do you think you're sleepwalking because of Barton Scully?"
Bill: "I wish that sounded crazier than it does. Yeah, you got me. We're having a tough time, and it breaks my heart. People are mysterious. Sometimes they fall in love, other times they can get it up. Sometimes you blackmail them about male prostitutes and then they don't even love you anymore."
Libby: "You are the most mysterious of all, though. And I think you like it that way."
She stands to hit the ladies; he sees it on her white dress, and his eyes go wide. Like some horrible prophecy, coming true. Hope is a losing proposition. He says her name quickly, but softly. Betraying nothing.
HOSPITAL
He orders a transfusion and listens for Catherine's heartbeat; he won't say for sure.
Bill: "The baby could be in an odd position. And bleeding doesn't always mean the end... Let's give her time to move around and try again. I'll drug you so you can sleep..."
Libby: "Bill, stay with me!"
Bill: "I absolutely cannot do that. You named her. Let me get your chart in order and I'll come right back."
Libby: "It'll be fine? It could be fine."
Bill: "It could be. It could be fine. I'll call Virginia."
GINI
They're flipping about the Ferris wheel thing. Even horrible Henry's perked up. By reflex, Gini apologizes to Pam the Babysitter for the late hours, but Pam doesn't care because Pam likes getting paid. Gini holds out her arms to them, wonderfully: "I need a piece of cherry pie this minute!"
She almost gets them out of the office, ignoring the phone, but the ringing is so insistent and there's something, a terrified edge to it. She can't let it go.
OBSTETRICS
Bill, predictably enough, goes apeshit on Ethan. It's about Libby, sure; that's a part of himself Bill doesn't know about, though. So it comes off as professional guilt, a bit of the patronizing elder doctor, and mostly the worst kind of expectant, terrified father. All "what did you miss" and "let's go over your shitty charts one more time" and everything. Ethan's a good doctor when he's sober; he's got an answer for everything. He chants them, to calm Bill down: "If anything I've been over-attentive, with you up my ass. First fetal heartbeat at eleven weeks, hemoglobin every four weeks, doublechecked uterine growth..."
Ethan: "Bill, do not pin this on me when what's really eating at you is your own guilt."
Bill: "Fuck you say?"
Ethan: "You could have been your wife's doctor. You chose not to be."
But that's a place he doesn't know about too. Men don't question leaning in like that. He's not Virginia, he's not absent. It wasn't his distraction that killed Catherine. But then what was it?
Libby: "I'm so sorry he dragged you down here..."
Gini: "I'd be here anyway, honey."
Libby: "He can't. Like physically he cannot. The idea of not controlling this..."
Gini: "It's his life's work. I get it. We study what we fear. We conquer what we love. That's all men. Why do you think this floor stinks of cigars?"
"Bill is different. I've seen it before... Once. Right after Bill's father died. He just fell apart. Lost his mind. And I couldn't reach him, and it was so scary. But I stayed there, and I wouldn't leave, and I wouldn't budge until he let me in. And he loves me for staying. And he resents me for staying, because Bill doesn't really want anyone to know him."
He wants to know, without being known. He wants to get right up in there with a flashlight, so he can win; he doesn't ever want to be looked at. The difference between flowers -- pistils and stamens -- and springtime isn't the mess, or the smell, or even the unchecked growth. It's the majesty. It hurts to look at; it hurts to be seen, looking. Wanting.
"Like with his sperm count, we know he lied, we know why. But then what happens? One lonely swimmer in that lousy batch found an egg. It was a procedure involving a piece of plastic, and no actual sex, but how else would Bill Masters ever create anything? And those were the odds."
Gini: "The odds were very slim, even without him lying about it."
Libby: "But it happened. And now there's a baby."
Gini: "I know."
Libby: "God cannot be that cruel."
Gini: "No."
The reason Bill hates his mother is that even now she speaks in code, a lost language. Not terror, not trauma or soul-deadening abuse, but always something darling. Not a broken animal but a little wind-up toy. Tottering about. We speak in flowers because the only other options are words, dead things like "pistil" and "stamen," or looking right into the sun. It's the ocean his whole life has prepared him for, one day: To jump in, and bring back the gold humanity has been waiting thousands of years for. Words for ecstasy, words for freedom. Safe containers: Not too bright, but not lies either.
But it's also true that the reason we speak in these codes, we pin them to the wall on little cards, is that they are too big. He's already breaking, trying to hold onto them, and we've only just begun.
FERRIS WHEEL
Tessa's asleep in a hallway, having lost track of her brother. Gini wakes her, to apologize for the emergency, and then as soon as Tessa's awake and making sense, she's off to find him. She searches the hospital; at night it sounds like a submarine. She can hear her heartbeat.
Ethan's outside smoking -- his disappointment, his grief for Libby -- when he sees Henry headed down the street, and stubs it out quickly. You'd know the kid anywhere.
"He went looking for George -- my ex-husband -- which probably means he's heading to his apartment, which is a good sixteen blocks from here, or maybe even Gardel's, on the not-great side of town..."
The security guard can't figure out why a little kid would be headed to a nightclub in what he politely and sensitively refers to as "Coon Town," but Gini just keeps demanding his car. Once she's finally got him onboard -- "Is Henry dead?" Tessa whispers, "Henry's dead" -- and they're headed out to the lot, there's a call from Ethan.
DINER
Ethan: "You know I had to call her, buddy. Come on."
Henry: "She only pretends she's worried."
Ethan: "Then she's a very good actor, because she is losing her shit. Were you really going to walk all the way to your dad's? Jeez. That's really sad. You know, I always thought my dad was the greatest guy in the world."
Henry: "Impossible. George is the greatest."
Ethan: "And I thought my mom was the worst."
Henry: "Well, again you lose. My mom is the worst. I wish I had a stun gun that could explode her into particles."
Ethan: "Wow, okay. Um, from my understanding those kind of particles are radioactive. So you'd be wiping out all life on Earth."
Henry: "That's a bit far. Maybe I could just neutralize her."
Ethan: "Henry, your mom is a bad faker. If something happened to you, she would explode into particles. Little tiny pieces that could never go back together again."
Henry: "You seem to have a certain degree of empathy for her, suddenly."
Ethan: "Maybe I'm growing as a man."
Henry: "I just want my dad back. Between you and me, it's not really about her. I know she does her best. But this George thing is really getting to me."
LIBBY
Masters: "It's like a submarine. Turn onto your left side, maybe we can get a heartbeat there."
Essie: "Of course you can! Everything is fine. Worry about nothing."
Masters: "In lieu of telling you to fuck off for pushing every button I have, maybe I could just gently ask you to leave us alone?"
Libby: "I wouldn't have called her if I wanted to be alone."
Essie: "Let us pray."
Masters: "Oh, fuck you."
Essie: "It's not really about God, it's about Libby. If God wasn't invented for a time like this, then why invent him at all? I'm gonna grab the hospital chaplain."
Masters: "Okay, but please not that guy. He is the worst. Just pray by yourselves. We'll try for the heartbeat in a little..."
Libby: "Later is now, Bill. Stop treating me like your patient."
Bill: "You are my patient."
Libby: "No, I'm your wife."
"Right now, this minute, I am your wife. And I want the truth. Is the baby gone?"
Bill: "The protocol is to keep trying for the heartbeat every few..."
Libby: "It has been hours. I don't give a shit about protocol. Look me in the eye."
Bill: "It's like looking into the sun."
Libby: "Then don't look. But tell me the truth."
She begins to sob, as he does. He explains the procedure for the part, and it's awful, but when he offers to schedule it for the morning she demands he do it now.
OUTSIDE
Ethan is tentative, when he sees Virginia sobbing in the hallway. But he sees her.
Ethan: "Virginia, but it's over now. It's okay."
Virginia: "It's not okay. I am doing the best that I can, and it is not good enough. Henry hates me, for valid reasons, and also for not letting him live with George, and I can't very well tell him George doesn't give a shit about him..."
Ethan: "I mean, that's harsh."
Virginia: "For the weekend maybe, he wants kids. But he never did, that was me. That was Gini that wanted that. And when he drops them off, he's so relieved..."
Ethan: "What child ever respects the parent that's honestly there for them?"
Virginia: "They want both. It's order in the universe. For them, maybe for me. I am tired."
She held him to her, so tightly. She could hear his heartbeat.
Ethan: "Tell you what. I'm pretty open on Saturday, maybe I could toss a ball around with him or... I mean, it's Henry, so I guess a science museum?"
Gini: "That is generous, and kind, and you've been a saint tonight."
Ethan: "Right? And not even in a creepy way! I still haven't figured it all out."
Gini: "But that's a lot. And it would make things weird between us..."
Ethan: "First of all, I like Henry. He's like a tiny Bill Masters that hates everything, it's adorable. And second of all, a bitch is no longer one of my 99 problems. I have a total full-on girlfriend now, so we can be friends. Her name's Kans... I mean, Vivian. Her name's Vivian."
Gini: "Vivian Scully? You whore! That is awesome, I love that. Good move."
Ethan: "I know, right?"
Bill wanders out, staring blankly. Sleepwalking. Ethan stands for him immediately, and scrubs in. She won't let Bill leave.
"Bill, we didn't make this baby together, not really, but... Can't we at least lose it together? This one thing?"
Tessa finds him in the hallway, standing like a wind-up toy: "I know you," she says. He can only look. When Virginia finds them, in the hallway, staring at each other, she doesn't want to intrude. He sends her home, never really seeing them at all.
"I know you," she said. It sounded like an indictment.
A nurse offers to cut the cord, when it's out, but he does it himself. For a moment it's more science than a cruel mockery. He looks at Libby, asleep, and hands the body off.
When she wakes up, it's with his hand on her forehead. He tells her the sex, but only because she asks.
BACK HOME
Pouring wine and serving dinner, Essie rests her hand easily on her son's shoulder, knowing he won't fight her off tonight. He's still wearing his bowtie from the party, just hanging.
Billy: "Thank you for the food."
Essie: "Least I can do. But you know what, you'll try again..."
Billy: "Why the fuck would you say that to me?"
Essie: "You will. And everything will be fine."
He breaks. Down into the ocean and he doesn't even know he's left land.
"Fine? Everything will be fine. Why would you say that? That it'll all be okay, that we'll have another. You want to make things better, by telling me everything's fine? I'm sleepwalking again, did you know that? Libby's worried about it and has no idea what it's all about. But we know what it's about, don't we?"
She doesn't. She almost honestly doesn't. "When you were small? It was just a harmless..."
"There it is! You know, there's a term for this curious habit of yours. Wishful thinking, or self-delusion. Or a sickness... Let's call it that. Our sickness. And you know what's even more curious about this habit? This sickness of ours? How it spills over everything. Infects everything. Everyone. Quite a pair, aren't we? You, with your head stuck in the sand, and me. A chip off the old block."
She swears those days are dead and buried; she says they're over. She tries to will it into truth, that women live in regret and men just keep going, and going, into the future. Into distraction and pleasure and whatever doesn't hurt. But if that were true he wouldn't be so jealous of her, for coming back to life.
HOSPITAL
Scully: "Bill, I'm sorry for your loss."
Bill: "Actually Barton, I'm sorry."
Scully: "Thank you for that. I'd give you a hug, but... Anyway. I guess today there's enough sorrow for us all."
LIBBY
Bill: "I love you with all my heart, Libby. Which is why I have to say that we are done with this. We can't try again. We have to be done, we have to stop. I can't ever put you through this again."
She doesn't speak, even as he tries to take her home again. To take her in his arms and say these things we don't even have flowers for. She just walks out.
VIRGINIA
He's laying out pairs, random matches made, when Virginia brings him coffee.
Bill: "Hey there. So I've decided the criteria for our couples should be... Similarity of age, and anonymity."
Gini: "That's weird. I was thinking we should do the opposite. Actual couples, who come in already attached..."
Bill: "No. My way is better. Actual couples present too many complications."
Gini: "Not touching that one. Let me know when you want to start scheduling."
Bill: "Tonight. Schedule them for tonight."
Gini: "No. We are not working tonight."
Bill: "You can go back to your desk now. Thank you."
She tries a few times to say it out loud, coming closer; he begins to panic. He begs her to leave, but she doesn't. She couldn't. This man who trades words like flowers, science for sex and complications for love. This man about to howl, for the ones that fall apart. He reaches out like a drowning man.
Virginia: "Bill. What happened was not your fault."
Bill: "So whose fault was it? Libby's? Yours? The baby's? Maybe it was Francis. Maybe it was God."
Virginia: "God isn't that cruel. That's not why we invented him."
Bill: "I had mixed feelings, about being a father. Did you know that? Those thoughts were in my head. And I saw the back of her dress last night and I..."
"You are a powerful man, but you are not that powerful. Even you can't think something into being."
For a moment it's as quiet as a submarine. She can hear her heart; she can hear his, too. He fumbles at her, to cover up her eyes, and begins to scream.
"I know you," the little girl said. It felt like looking at the sun.
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps The Good Wife, Homeland, Hostages, Ravenswood, and Masters Of Sex for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, Twitter, and Facebook, as well as a regular column for Tor.com, Geek Love.