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We skip to the middle of Libby's pregnancy, the better to explore exactly how crazy Bill Masters is prepared to get. Sleepwalking for the first time since childhood, and anticipating both his mother's week-long visit and his own baby, the secrets spill out over the hour that accumulate, never giving precise answers to the mysteries of Bill's weirdness but adding up to a picture that's bigger than the sum of its parts.
The episode loops around, bookended with a verbal interview of a charming male subject who turns out to be one of Virginia's ex-husbands, the musician father of her two children, who uses a fake name to earn himself a place in the study and a few extra bucks. By the end, Bill is obsessed with the guy, even taping additional interviews to get a clearer picture of what it's like to be with Virginia, in bed and out of it.
Of course, we're also dealing with the continued fallout from the jilting of Ethan Haas, who is still obsessed with her, six months later. When Libby decides to hook them up -- and nobody, least of all Bill, wants to explain they already dated -- it ends in a disastrous dinner party, Ethan driving off drunkenly into the night, careening through a strange and disappointing booty-call with Barton Scully's barely-legal daughter, and then barfing on his way into the OR for an emergency drunk surgery. Sloppy!
A few encounters with a battered obstetrics patient and her young son later, Bill has decided he'll be an abusive father -- which he then proves to himself by treating Gini's own kids like shit -- but after performing an illegal tubal ligation on the woman during her caesarian, as she's asked, he decides that he's probably better off just resenting his own mother for being a bystander to the whole thing. The real twist comes when Libby, in attempting to draw the mother out, realizes that she knows exactly what he's doing and why, and has decided to let him hate her as a sort of penance. Powerful stuff.
It's nice to see the world get bigger -- with new characters filling in the blanks, of course, but also in a wonderful montage of the repetitive clinical procedures that will eventually become their seminal study -- and to see a little more light at the end of Ethan's tunnel the crazier he goes. It's nice to get a little further, too, into Bill's usually opaque head, since what we've learned amplifies so much of what he's shown us before: The estrangement from his own manhood, the bizarre twists in his relationship with Scully, his obsession with fertility and women's bodies, and of course the ambivalence surrounding Libby's pregnancy. Most of all, it was nice to see him actively question himself for once, instead of just being passively insecure like usual.
As an act break in the season, it's certainly moved things along. Time will tell whether the incipient epiphanies Bill seems to imagine Gini bestowing on him will ever actually arrive, but it's to be assumed that whatever happens instead will probably be more useful. week, however, a second round of daddy issues seems likely, as we settle in on the new, time-jumped status quo: Ethan with the boss's daughter (and presumably the conflict for Masters to see him in that role with Scully), Gini's ex complicating matters at home (little boys do love their fathers), and of course Libby's imminent delivery (the cobbler's children have no shoes).
Want more? The full recap starts right below!PREVIOUSLY
After a long day of blackmail and voyeurism, Bill was disconcerted to find that Libby had somehow managed to get pregnant after all. Also, this universal excuse/explanation/truth:
"Why would I insult you when you're all I think about?"
WALTER MCADDY
We open on a study subject, charming if a little self-impressed, discussing his ex-wife with Dr. Masters in a private, recorded session. It's the first time we've seen Bill go deep with a subject in this way, so you could be forgiven for assuming he does this all the time, or that it's a part of whatever phase comes . But it's a lot less complicated than that, and a lot more complicated too. Walter McAddy isn't a man so much as a costume, an office; a man anyone could pretend to be.
Walter: "I mean, it's not like we both orgasm at the same time, every time, but yeah. She doesn't have any problems with that."
Masters: "And do you have a pretty regular routine?"
Walter: "She's adventurous, she likes to switch it up. But normally it starts with cunnilingus, and a fair amount of helpful encouragement, before... Is this the kind of stuff you want to hear?"
Yes, and no. It's not a question Bill can answer.
4 DAYS AGO
In a sprightly, alternating sequence, Bill and Gini run through their spiel with a variety of subjects -- men and women, young and old, nervous and more nervous -- and then the steps of what actually happens in the study: Your name gets indexed so you're randomized, you do the sexuality interview, you get a general physical. Then the clothes come off, the electrodes go on, and the subjects are asked to...
Masters: "Begin."
And because it's Bill, because he's still a babe in the woods, even after all this: "Thank you for coming."
I didn't want to know much about their lives, going into this. I didn't want to know what would happen to them, separately or together. But I know enough now, just from random mentions and stuff. And I'm struck still by just how much of an innocent he is. I thought Ethan was the stand-in for that strange boyish thing men have about bodies -- the worship and the shame, the fear that becomes fascination that becomes study; the belief that another person's body can ever be conquered, ever bring them any kind of existential comfort -- but knowing more about Bill's life -- more, now, than the Bill on the show -- it's amazing. He's such a beast. Such an incomplete, creepy person.
And yet.
JOHNSON
Gini's pissed when she gets home: The kids are conked out under a quilt on the couch, TV still going strong in the dark. She calls out, and a man -- Walter McAddy! -- appears in the kitchen, wearing an apron and wielding a knife.
Gini: "George, Jesus. You scared me."
George Johnson: "I sent her home, made dinner."
Gini: "That is cereal."
George: "That is the fallback, after failed spaghetti."
George is back in St. Louis after an abortive attempt for his band to play Macelli's Imperial Dance Hall, in Cleveland. When they arrived, it had burnt to the ground, so he's lost days, hotel rooms, bus fare for four... Not that she was counting on the money, but either way she's not overjoyed to see him.
George: "Do you want some of this crappy awful food I made?"
Gini: "You'd make a terrible wife."
George: "That's something we have in common."
Gini: "Just don't get up on me. I still have two hours of reading."
George: "It's like ten PM. Let's have some sex."
Gini: "No TV on school nights, for starters, is a rule you already broke."
He kisses her neck, and reminds her about a time in Miami when they were too loud, and got thrown out of a hotel. (It's an interestingly literary detail, for such a tossed-off remark, but we won't know that for a couple of episodes.) She snorts, and tells him he's louder than she was. "I miss your noises," he says, and whispers them into the neck: Pretending to be her. And a short time later, she's right there with him.
MASTERS
The morning is no good for anybody. Libby wakes to a nightmare, every appliance in the house turned on at once, the blender and the teakettle and the television and the hi-fi. Gini only thought she came home to madness.
In the middle of it, like the Sorcerer's Apprentice, stands Bill Masters, staring blankly, still asleep. Hair mussed and eyes open, narrowed neither in thought nor in fury, not thinking wildly, not closing himself off, cold, so she won't know what he's thinking: Just looking, looking at nothing at all. He's thirty years younger, when he sleeps.
Bill: "I used to sleepwalk a lot as a child. My father went to get the paper once, and I was sitting behind the wheel of his Plymouth, fast asleep. My hands were on the wheel."
Libby: "I recovered quickly, I'm good at that. But I'm still curious. Are you stressing out?"
Bill: "Sometimes it's the noise, other times it's running away. Escape. I'm fine. Go to bed. We have an actual nightmare on its way."
Libby: "Your mother's nothing of the sort. She's smart, kind, doting..."
Bill: "That's what you see, you take her. Seven days of that and you'll be sleepwalking to jazz too."
Libby: "Are you kidding? I can't wait to hang out with her. It beats having you beat up my cervix and standing me on my head for days at a time."
"The woman is helpless. She can't make a decision. She can't read a train schedule, can't balance a checkbook..."
Sometimes it's the noise, sometimes it's running away. It hasn't happened in a long time, but something's doing it. Some sea change, under the ice. A terror he can't look away from, that comes for him in sleep.
Libby: "I doubt it. But sweetheart, in four months we're gonna have another visitor, who really will need everything done for him. Think of it as dress rehearsal."
Libby Masters is getting big. Twenty-two weeks, in fact.
JOHNSON
Meanwhile, Gini and George are awakened by Henry, begging for pancakes since we're all out of cereal. She's embarrassed, not because it's a man but because it's a fish she threw back. In three days' time, all of this will change.
Henry: "You and Daddy had a sleepover?"
Gini: "He was very tired. Go get your sister, the bus is nigh."
She can't believe he slept over, she never lets them sleep over. He rolls around in bed as she's dressing, shouting, horrified.
Gini: "The big deal, as you call it, is that now he's gonna think we're back together."
George: "Heaven forfend."
Gini: "Just say goodbye and go home."
George: "Well..."
Gini: "Here we go."
He's three months behind, and locked out, with his car about to be repossessed: "I even had to hock that old drum kit I was gonna teach Henry to play!" As though all of these things are equal. If they are, to him, then Henry is luckier than he seems.
Gini: "So you came here last night to sleep with me? Because you literally had no home."
George: "I came for the couch. Listen, can I have some money? I'm living out of a suitcase..."
Gini: "I'm a single mother of two, in 1959, on a secretary's salary. I work sixteen hours a day because I have hitched myself to an insane person for reasons neither of us understand. Go fuck yourself."
George: "What if I took over babysitting, at a discount..."
Gini: "The fact that I have to explain it to you makes me madder than what I'm explaining, but I'm not going to pay you money to care for your own fucking children."
George: "Parenting is labor, when a man does it. Everybody knows that. Or thinks it without wondering why, I mean."
MASTERS
Estabrooks Masters arrives early. Her eyes are sad when her son opens the door, but his are worse: Half shades from last night, echoes, and half the fact that he wasn't expecting her quite yet. Maybe wasn't expecting to see her at all. It isn't labor when a woman does it; Libby said she'd enjoy it, after all. He barely moves, barely breathes.
Libby: "Oh no, Essie! Did I make a mistake?"
Essie: "I am early. Your Aunt Darlene -- sends her love -- dropped me off early and I saw a seven o'clock flight, and I just hopped on. You look amazing."
Libby is gracious; she loves nothing more than when Essie proudly points out the baby bump. Essie is wearing red these days, with a mink collar; he stares at her, and she laughs: "Four years in black is enough! I'm sure your father would understand." He doesn't breathe or move but it's hard to imagine what it's like, to be her. For him, always, but especially now, at this time. This woman who didn't move or breathe, suddenly wearing red. This woman who shook Francis Masters off after four years, instead of forty: It's hard to imagine being her.
Libby gentles him with a look, unable to catch a look inside; she wouldn't be able to fathom exactly what's going on in there anyway, without a guide to explain it all. The trauma, the history; the resentment of her, for being happy. He wanted her helpless and meek, not wearing red and switching airplanes on a whim. He wanted her cringing.
This woman could have saved him. He hates her for existing at all.
LUNCHROOM
Ethan has been trying, you have to give him that. One nurse starts in on him in the lunch line for lying to her: He stood her up, claiming a surgery despite the floors being redone that night. Behind the counter is another young lady, whose name he can't even quite remember.
Gini: "Such a heartbreaker."
Ethan: "No, just heartbroken. Thanks to you."
There's no flirting in it, for her. For either of them. It's not a joke, it's war. She doesn't take any pleasure in his discomfort, but she does want him to note the clearly marked warning signs: It's been the better part of a year and he still looks at her that way, as though she took something precious from him. It would be as impossible for him to imagine being her, as it is for her to imagine being him.
For him it's like he was a kid, and she was this beautiful woman who knew all the secrets. And when he got brave enough to ask her to dance, she made him feel like the whole world was a movie, starring him, about Ethan and the girl he loved. And then she took it away again. And for the better part of a year, she's been right there on the wing, taunting him with the thing he can't have. The existential peace and comfort of true love, that would make him complete.
When he finally sits, alone and unloved and sad in that way only Ethan Haas can be sad, he's joined by a pretty young thing he doesn't quite remember.
Vivian: "You haven't seen me since I turned sixteen, so no pressure."
Ethan: "Yikes, what?"
Vivian: "It was my Sweet Sixteen party. You saved my ass! Daddy invited you, the band was playing 'Embraceable You,' and I very bravely asked you to dance. You dipped me. I felt like we were in a movie."
Provost Scully's daughter, Vivian. Their single issue, who is in college now. Who's feeling brave again.
"Daddy said if I did some volunteering at the hospital, he'd buy me a car. So that was one good reason. Want to maybe guess the other reason? Hint: I'll be 19 very soon."
His eyes go wide. He can't imagine what it's like to be her. He can't imagine it might be exactly the same; like when Gini asked him to go down on her, even though she didn't have a dick.
SOPHIA
Is a Polish-American with a bad husband, who plans to keep working in the laundry up to end of her pregnancy. If it's a girl, she'll name her Michella. If it's a boy, Nicholas, after her father.
Sophie: "My doctor, my regular doctor, he doesn't seem to understand when I tell him this is going to be my last baby. He's nice, but..."
Bill: "Are you scared of having another cesarean? Because I am an awesome doctor."
Sophie: "No, I am saying that I can't afford another baby. My eight-year-old Daniel, plus this new one..."
Bill: "You have to tell me what you're telling me. My brain doesn't work like that."
Sophie: "Okay, well, my English isn't so great, but I have heard there's a surgery you can do where I don't have to worry about this anymore."
Bill: "Science is abundant, Sophie. We can take precautions."
Sophie: "Not with my husband, we can't."
Bill: "Gotcha. Well, it's 1959. An elective tubal ligation requires your husband's consent."
Sophie: "That is fucking ridiculous."
He flees, to answer a phone -- Gini's running late, thanks to her ex-husband in general -- and outside, there's a little boy. Daniel.
Daniel: "Nothing! Certainly not sitting here with a plastic model of a pregnant lady under my jacket."
Bill: "You know, it's a practical... I mean, it's supposed to come apart. You didn't break it or anything. Don't stress out."
Daniel: "So you're not sore?"
Bill: "Why on Earth would I be?"
Daniel: "Stupid kid comes in and messes with my stuff, I'd want to knock some goddamn sense into him."
Bill doesn't move, or breathe. He wonders if Daniel ever sleepwalks.
GIRL TALK
Libby's excited to see Gini, rushing in, and without meaning to puts her in a dilemma. She's running late, which will piss Bill off, but she loves Libby and it's part of her job to indulge her. She stands very still, as she's introduced to Mrs. Masters.
Essie: "Libby says you're absolutely indispensable to my son..."
Libby: "Both of us!"
Gini: "Well, then I'll be getting it from him for being late..."
Libby: "Did the kids hold you up? Like I'm doing right now?"
Gini: "No, my ex-husband actually. It is a long story involving a building that burned down and various suitcases."
And what his mother says , Bill would burn to hear. He'd turn up every machine in the place, filling it up with sound; he would stare softly at nothing.
Essie: "Gotcha. Well, you've got to draw the line with them."
Libby: "I think you should get together with someone new."
Essie: "That'd fix his wagon!"
Gini: "You sound like you have a plan, Libby..."
Libby: "I have a couple of ideas. Mostly I just want you off the market."
Bill: "What are you doing here?"
Essie: "Totally normal stuff? I came to see my son's work?"
Bill: "I can't give you a tour right now, I'm a very busy scientist."
Gini: "Maybe I can massage your schedule a little bit..."
Bill: "You are late."
Essie: "Her ex-husband spent the night!"
Gini: "...On the sofa. Under a quilt, TV blaring into the night."
Bill: "Is this gonna continue to be a problem?"
Gini: "So it's one of those days, I see. No, it's fine."
She bows and scrapes until he's turned his back, stomping back into the wing without a real goodbye. Essie's a bit nonplussed, but Gini swoops in to cover for him, offering a tour of his office at least.
"It's a shame I didn't see the place sooner," says Essie. "My husband hated hospitals."
"I wanted to come," she means. "But I was helpless, until now."
SOPHIA
Bill: "Mrs. Zelinsky. Daniel. I spotted you from over there."
Sophie: "So you've met my boy. He's a treat."
Bill: "Mrs. Zelinsky, when you said you couldn't afford another child, you didn't mean financially. It took me a second, it always does. Why not just leave?"
Sophie: "Nowhere to go. His brother's just as bad. I could do it, eventually; with two babies I could do it. But three, or four? I'll be here forever, just sleepwalking. Helpless. You're honestly the only one. It's why I asked."
LIBBY
Libby: "And here I thought I was sixteen pounds up."
Ethan: "Nope, just eleven. Do you set your scale five points up to scare yourself?"
Libby: "You really get women, Dr. Haas."
Ethan: "I really do not. I'm giving up for a while, in fact."
Libby: "Bull. You're the most eligible bachelor in St. Louis, look at you."
Ethan: "I already found the perfect girl, and she broke my heart before I ever got to know her."
Libby: "If she threw you back, she's not the one."
"She was, though. You remember The Wizard Of Oz, how she didn't even know what Technicolor was, and then in the end she's back on the farm, back in black and white. I didn't even know what anything was, until her. I knew how my life was going to go, but not what it means. And then with her, I saw a Technicolor future. Once you've seen Oz it's impossible to go back to Kansas. Nothing will ever be right again."
RM 5
That night, Gini's got three subjects on the books -- "First one may be a no-show, it's just a feeling but he sounded strange on the phone" -- and then out in the waiting room she finds one more, a drop-in. George Johnson, who found a flyer in the house and needs some ready cash.
Masters: "So is there anybody out there?"
George: "Just me! Walter McAddy, ready for science."
Well, you can imagine how Gini fumes about it, as they run him through the procedure; as Masters discusses his "reactions, both intra- and extra-genital, to sexual self-stimulation." She does her best, shock giving way to irritation, but by the time it starts and he's looking her in the eye, she's pretty unnerved. Anger giving way to fear.
Masters: "...Stop."
Walter: "Uh, what?"
Masters: "Mrs. Johnson needs to get a measurement."
Gini: "14.9 centimeters..."
Walter: "What's that in inches?"
Walter McAddy blends, for Bill, into the crush of them. They're interchangeable; they are only bodies. Gini measures nipples and testicles. Where before Ethan horrified her, there's something about this now -- the power, the science -- that appeals to her now. George can creep her out, but he can't make her feel dirty. In this room, she's in charge. In this room, the machines keep ticking out their readings no matter what the subject thinks of her.
"It's okay to close your eyes," she tells George, but he's too close to even wink or smile. She rolls hers at him, and keeps writing. He comes into your life, that's one thing. You can draw a line and kick him out again. He shows up at the house, that's another. But Room Five, in the middle of the night: He has no idea what a power move that really is.
MASTERS
Essie's making "Island Chicken," with pineapple and coconut. It's daring, in a way that delights Libby and will only irritate Bill all the more.
Libby: "Thanks for putting the leaf in, dear. Can you do the place cards? Oh, and if you grab the ice bucket I'll give it a quick polish. Almost done folding these napkins..."
The house will be full of light, and sound. Jazz on the hi-fi.
Essie: "If I have a little too much tonight, just give me a nudge under the table..."
Bill: "Wait, since when do you drink?"
Essie: "It's relatively new. Darlene has a cocktail with dinner, and occasionally I join her. We only had scotch in the house when your father was alive, and I don't like scotch, so I didn't drink. Now I do."
Bill: "Now you do. Even though you could have, any time. If you'd been able to afford it."
Essie: "Oh, Libby, have you ever had a Tom Collins?"
Libby: "Great idea! We can serve them tonight."
Bill: "Guess I better make sure we're fixed for gin, then. Since apparently we're having Tom Collinses with dinner."
Libby: "Essie, you're a treat. Careful, or we'll never let you leave."
Essie: "Careful, or I won't. Which brings me to my thing. What if I spent more time here?"
Libby: "Extend your visit? I might be able to negotiate that."
Essie: "No, I mean move here."
Libby: "Uh..."
Essie: "Ha! No, I mean get an apartment in St. Louis. Good Lord, you went white. My own place, close enough to help but not close enough to make the sleepwalking permanent."
Bill: "Who the hell is 'Ethan'?"
Libby: "Uh, Ethan Haas? Your protégé?"
Bill: "Not since the quads... And oh shit, you invited Virginia too? Libby, what kind of insane key party is this?"
Libby: "Come on, they already know each other, I just thought..."
Bill: "She's super wrong for him, she's older than him -- practically my age! -- and she has two kids, and two divorces..."
Libby: "Yeah, definitely keep talking, motherfucker. Anyway, she's bringing the kids. I thought it would be fun. That way he'll know them when she mends his heart after whatever awful woman broke it, and they live happily ever after. As God is my witness."
Some guys are into that. Sometimes you need somebody to show you how it's done. Some boys are just helpless.
TONIGHT
Virginia's so intent on quizzing her kids about not acting barbaric at the boss's dinner party that she doesn't notice Ethan until she almost runs him over.
Gini: "Oh, shit. What are you doing here?"
Ethan: "Uh, what are you doing here? Are these your kids?"
Tessa: "Who the hell is this tool?"
Gini: "Word."
Ethan: "Oh my God, Virginia. She's setting us up..."
Gini: "I'll be goddamned. Did you do this? Are you invading again now too?"
Tessa: "Are you the kind of doctor that gives shots? Because fuck you."
Gini: "Attagirl."
DINNER
The house is full of light, and people; there's jazz on the hi-fi. It's not loud enough, quite, to block out the conversation at the head of the table, all about grandparents helping out when a new baby comes.
Dude: "Moving to St. Louis maybe, huh? Got you spooked, Bill?"
Essie: "I am not a meddler. I know how to stay out of the way."
Bill: "That's right you do. Real good at that."
Ethan: "I know why you're mad at me, and I deserve it. But I swear this, I did not do."
Gini: "Why not decline?"
Ethan: "I thought she was going to introduce me to a girl! You know how she is. She seems like a creampuff, but she makes things happen. She made me believe I could get over you, but now..."
Gini: "-- You know what, don't get sloppy, Ethan."
They dote on Henry, with his giant glasses and funny wavy hair; he's like a small adult, like Billy would have been. Libby in particular, broody as she is.
Libby: "Henry, tell us. What is your favorite subject in school?"
Henry: "PE."
Bill: "That's not even a subject. Give me a break."
Henry: "Uh, I'm a little kid?"
Gini: "-- Essie. Tell us about Bill, when he was a boy."
The temperature drops before she's opened her mouth, but it's too late now, and Libby's joined in, so Essie tells a story. Billy's Campaign For Long Pants. Bill begs her to stop, but nobody can see why, or what it costs him, so there's nobody to help. Nothing to drown it out.
"Well, he begged us for months, and I told him, I said Billy, your father's not gonna pay for a new pair of trousers until you've outgrown your last pair of knickers. So he had this one pair of knickers that were still too big for him, he went and got my sewing box and a pair of scissors, and he shortened the legs of those things. He actually hemmed them himself, and he took in the waistline himself. And it was as neat as any seamstress!"
Gini laughs. "A surgeon, even then." She thinks she's helping, she's not helping. She watches his face, as he drinks, and realizes they've been ganging up on him and they didn't even know it. He tosses it back, and her face falls; she doesn't notice Ethan, doing the same.
Essie: "I thought he'd had some sudden growth spurt, but his father didn't buy it..."
Bill: "I was made to wear those knickers until I was fourteen. Fourteen."
He says it without looking up, eyes hooded; the table goes quiet as he goes dark. In the silence he can barely move. It's Bill that saves them all, asking for the rolls, and the table relaxes. Gini can't seem to catch his eye. He isn't really looking at anyone at all. He's wearing them, still.
DRINKS
After dinner one couple dances to "Sway," the rest of them buzzed down in the den. Bill's actually happy to go, when Libby invites him to take his wife and child for a whirl; Gini slumps when she realizes it's a ploy to get her and Ethan up and dancing too. He straightens his back, very brave, and puts on a casual air when he asks. Behind the drunk bravado, though, he's as nervous as a Sweet Sixteen.
Ethan: "If only to make Libby happy."
Gini: "...Old dude on the other couch, do you think there'd be talk if I asked you to dance?"
Dude: "My wife would say you're taking your life in your hands."
Gini: "Trust me, it's worth it."
It's a mess. His wife wasn't kidding. She laughs, and says his name several times to get his attention, and then directs his feet: "How about you be me, and I'll be you?" She leads, and the dance becomes effortless. Bill nearly stops moving, so taken by her ease with it. This woman that could save him.
Dude: "This is not your first time!"
Gini: "Sometimes, you've just gotta show a man how it's done."
And then take it away again. Ethan chugs his drink, watching. Drinking to Kansas.
BILLY
Tessa very politely summons Bill to the guest bathroom, where Henry has clogged the toilet with too much paper. Bill's irritated, more than he should be; Henry is like a little man.
Tessa: "He shouldn't have eaten that coconut stuff. He's got a sensitive stomach..."
Henry: "Shut up, Tess..."
Bill is helpless, as the thing overflows; he shouts a profanity and Henry, not accustomed to abuse but honestly getting worried, asks Bill if he's angry. Momentarily, Bill remembers himself, reassuring the boy, but when Henry tries to help with a hand-towel, he rages even louder at him.
Henry: "But I want to help!"
Bill: "Out."
He doesn't need Henry's help. He certainly doesn't need Henry making him feel worse. He just wants them gone.
When the baby's born, he's going to cry and cry. Bill may not understand women, but he knows babies: It's going to shit, and storm, and scream. It won't care if he raises his voice, or teases it with a job to make it do what he wants, or explains standard deviations: It won't care about anything at all, and it will never stop. He'll wake up to it behind the wheel of his car, one day.
He will love Bill, whether he shouts or goes cold and quiet. Whether he hits the baby, or leaves it all to Libby, or deserts them both and lives out of a suitcase. Whatever monster Bill becomes, the child won't know the difference. He will only love him.
He will be completely helpless.
GOODBYES
Henry thanks them, graciously, and apologizes again for his mess; Libby laughs it off, and although Bill wants to get on board, somehow he just can't. He tries his best, but it's not good enough. Ethan is sauced, barely standing.
Ethan: "You're taking the bus home? I'll drop you."
Libby: "You know where they live?"
Ethan: "No, I... Just the general vinicit. Vinci. Vincinity..."
Gini: "Yeah, I think we'll take our chances. Good night, everybody."
He's angry, petulant. He won't let it go.
Ethan: "You're rather haul your two exhausted kids home, on a bus, at eleven at night..."
Bill: "-- You know what, I'll drive you home."
Ethan: "Bill, it's on my way!"
Bill: "Yeah, that's not really the issue."
Libby: "So this is what we're doing? Fine, the Cadillac keys are in my purse."
Gini: "Ethan? I suggest another cup of coffee before you get behind the wheel. I'm not even trying to be a bitch. I mean, that too, but for real you are going to kill yourself."
Ethan, verbatim: "You know what, Virginia? Fuck you."
Gini: "Always a pleasure, Dr. Haas."
RESCUE
Gini: "You're cold and weirder than usual. Listen, Libby is great and she means well. She wants everybody to be happy. As happy as she is, which lately is a lot."
Bill: "Ugh."
Gini: "She's radiant, Bill."
Bill: "That part is true."
Gini: "And she's going to make a wonderful mother..."
He nearly stops the car.
Bill: "Did you... Know you were good at it? Before you had them?"
Gini: "I don't know that I am now."
It's about what you can afford.
VIVIAN
Heads Ethan off outside his building, all bleary eyes and crazy anger. She brought a notebook by that he left in the cafeteria; he can't remember her name, but it's only a moment before he's got her upstairs.
JOHNSON
George: "Bro I have had a hard-on since the study. Last night! You thinking what I'm thinking?"
Gini: "Are you thinking that I can't stand you and you nearly cost me my job?"
George: "I am so sure. It's not like I wanted you to get fired, I just wanted some money. And you got measurements, for your little study..."
Gini: "My little study? God, you guys. If you're not calling me a whore you're calling me a... That 'little study' is what keeps your children fed and clothed, do you get that? Do you really mean to piss on that? That 'little study' is me being a mother and a father."
And there you sit, in a bed another grownup paid for, with 14.9 centimeters of an erection -- which by the way is average at best -- so fucking pleased with yourself for just existing. Where do you get this idea that you are entitled to anything, much less everything? Is it a class you go to? While we're learning about sanitary napkins, they take you aside and tell you that you can have whatever you want, and if you don't get it that's everybody else's problem but yours? Or is it just natural? Genetic?
Is it something we do to you? Am I doing it to Henry now? Is he gonna grow up to be a big strong man like you, who can't keep a roof over his own head or manage to boil spaghetti? Is he gonna grow up to be Ethan Haas, who whines more than a child and hits women when they won't tell him he's pretty? Is Henry gonna be Bill Masters when he grows up, so fucking frigid inside he looks like he's about to shatter ten times a day, and so uptight he shits once a week? You fucking tell me. You wipe that smarmy grin off your face, and put your stupid dick away, and you tell me how I can possibly avoid gifting the world with one more goddamn piece of shit little boy in a grown man's body.
But he'd probably just get harder if she did say it, because men are creeps, so fuck it.
CASE IN POINT
Ethan: "Sorry my house is a mess, but ... it's accurate. Want lots more to drink?"
Vivian: "Do you not have guests? For some of us, having people over is what keeps us honest."
Ethan: "I mean, sometimes I have girls over, but I don't even turn the lights on. You feel me?"
Vivian: "Uh, yeah. I have decoded your subtle clues. Why do you think I'm up here?"
Ethan: "You like it with the lights on, or off?"
Vivian: "I don't really care, dude. I am just looking to do sixteen-year-old me a favor."
Ethan: "Did you ever get with a guy you didn't like much, and pretend it was one you did?"
Vivian: "Yeah, I am like constantly doing that."
Ethan: "But it doesn't work. Who do you think about?"
Vivian: "I am not going to dignify that one."
Ethan: "You feel like taking your sweater off?"
She does, so she does, and then before you know it he's pouring whiskey on her breasts and licking it off. It's profoundly weird. I would have opted for lights off, given a full account of what was about to take place.
Ethan: "How's that feel?"
Vivian: "...Cold? Degrading? I mean it's not like you're doing this for my benefit, or anything. I mean very sexy. It feels amazing, not at all gross and sticky and awful."
Ethan: "Sweet because there is a lot more of that comin' your way. Only not really, because I am almost too drunk to even act this much of a mess."
So of course the hospital calls -- Vivian shivering on the couch as the stuff evaporates -- and he's like, "Uh, call the on-call doctor? I almost answered a banana just now." No dice. The woman's got a fever, she's centimeters from giving birth and the dispatch is freaking out, and finally Ethan summons that clutch sobriety you can sometimes find deep in yourself and asks Vivian for a ride to the hospital.
...Where he boots, rallies, trades out his gloves, and heads on in to do some doctorin'. You can see why Vivian's so taken with him.
REAL ESTATE
Bill: "I'm just not sure you should go for the first house you see?"
Essie: "Actually it was like the fourth one. I'm making an offer."
Libby: "Are you sure? I didn't love it."
Essie: "No, I am decided."
Bill: "Now she's decisive."
Essie: "If I end up not liking it, I'll just sell it and get something else."
Bill: "That is a very cavalier attitude."
Essie: "Darlene has been very generous. But she's not easy. She's got a strong point of view, you can't... I just want to settle. Here."
Bill: "Oh, Darlene's hard to live with. So you're being decisive."
Essie: "Not sure I am getting what you're saying, but yeah. She's very moody, and I've had enough. Why is that weird?"
Bill: "No, it's fine. No, good for you, taking care of yourself. Recognizing your limits."
Essie: "Um, it's 1959."
Bill: "Look at you, I mean it! Traveling on your own, making decisions on the spur of the moment, taking the risk that things will work out someplace new..."
Essie: "Your mouth is saying nice stuff, but your face and demeanor are being a real asshole. It's confusing."
Bill: "Just wouldn't have thought you'd have it in you, Mother."
Libby: "Bill, what is even going on now? Why are you being so mean and weird."
Essie: "It's fine. I'm trying to be cool about it because I know exactly what he's talking about, and I don't disagree with him. But it's better late than never."
Bill: "Is it?"
Some nights were no good for anybody. He's thirty years younger, when he sleeps.
It was like living in a nightmare, helpless; she'd turn on every appliance at once, the kettle and the radio. Anything for noise. And in the middle of it, little Billy, hair mussed and eyes open. Looking at nothing at all.
He didn't care if Francis raised his voice; he loved Francis when he shouted, and he loved him when he was cold, and quiet. And over in the corner, turning up the radio: That utterly useless woman, who could have saved him.
Completely helpless.
SOPHIA
Bill: "She'll name him Nicholas. After her father."
Nobody can see the bleed he suddenly notices, as they're about to close her up. First one, then another on the other side. Nobody's going to question the foremost obstetrician in the country, are they? Not in an emergency. He's the best. So he shuts them down and he finds the problem, and he solves it.
The surgery was a success, and she'll have a brand new son when she wakes up, but she'll never have children again.
And one day when Nicholas is old enough, she won't have to turn the radio up anymore. She can take Daniel by the hand, and lead him out, into the light.
THE CAF
Vivian: "I thought you could use some aspirin due to being so super drunk last night."
Ethan: "Thanks! Yeah, I'm pretty much the worst."
Vivian: "Did you kill that patient?"
Ethan: "Somehow, no."
Ethan: "Listen, last night I... I was punishing someone. It ended up being you..."
Vivian: "You were good to me..."
Ethan: "Gross, Vivian. I was straight up awful to you."
Vivian: "No, I mean, when I was a kid. Bangs and pimples and a Mister Ed overbite, and I asked you to dance because... I knew you'd say no. I would be right, about myself. And instead you said yes."
"It'd be my pleasure, you said. You, in your tux. You looked so handsome in black and white."
She smiles like Kansas. In black and white, he's a catch. In black and white, he doesn't have to think about what it means, that he loves Virginia and she doesn't love him back: How that confirms about him what he's learning to be true.
In black and white, he was a good man. It would be his pleasure.
SOPHIA
Her husband Stan, exactly the piece of work you could assume, starts out bitching about how long the surgery took. He barely spares a glance to yell at Daniel for some imagined slight, and Bill reacts instinctively.
Bill: "Daniel. What do you think of ol' Nicholas?"
Stan: "Andrew. We're naming him Andrew. We decided."
Sophia: "Yeah. After Stan's brother. So there's that."
Bill: "Have you held ... Andrew ... yet?"
Stan: "I said he could hold him when he's a little bigger."
Daniel: "I could do it."
Bill flinches at Stan's response, and shivers at the thing.
Stan: "My kid's got a smart mouth on him, Doctor. Maybe this one'll be a little better behaved. And the one... Please God, a girl!"
Sophia gazes up, into Bill's eyes, and he won't smile at her but he tells her anyway. Tears rush into her eyes, and she thanks him, whole-heartedly, for what he could afford.
"Could you look after this for me?" he asks Daniel, handing him the practical model.
The woman who falls apart.
UNDERCOVER JOHNSON
Bill: "Do you have that recommendation I was supposed to write?"
Gini: "Bill, I'm made a terrible mistake."
Bill: "So retype it. You're fast."
Gini: "I mean like, an error in judgment."
Bill: "You're good at that, aren't you."
Gini: "You are the fucking worst. Why are you like this. Whatever, anyway I may have endangered the study again. You know, somebody I know showed up to participate in the study. Somebody I know well. My ex-husband, actually."
Bill: "Okay..."
Gini: "He needed money and I guess he found the flyer at home and he showed up and I just froze. I just turned the radio all the way up and watched him masturbate with you."
Bill: "There wasn't a Johnson in there. Was there?"
Gini: "No, he used a different name. Which I don't really want to tell you, because then that pretty much makes it like you interviewed my ex-husband about fucking me, which is a strange thing for a boss to do."
Masters uses his brilliant mind to deduce that we're talking about Walter McAddy; giggles like Gollum when he figures it out. You be me, Bill thinks, And I'll be you.
Q: "Are you generally the one to initiate coitus?"
A: "Nowadays, but... She used to like calling the shots in bed, she's a take-charge kind of woman generally. When we'd go dancing I'd have to remind her to let me lead, once in a while."
MOMS
Essie: "I put aside a plate for Bill, even though I'm guessing he's not coming home."
Libby: "I was into it, I hooked up with it, I married it. Now I'm pregnant. It's totally fine."
Essie: "I hope you don't take it personally. Or at least, not too often."
Libby: "You know what's weird? I think it's about the baby. I think he's stressing about that, about life changing, or... Which is funny, because he wants to change the whole world and he really thinks he's going to, but God forbid we suddenly have a family around us."
Essie: "A baby changes everything, that's for sure."
Careful, Libby. It's right there. Be careful.
Libby: "What was Bill's father like? He doesn't talk about him."
Essie: "He wasn't a ... bad man..."
Libby: "Gotcha. But Bill's a good one. I believe that, at least."
Essie: "No, that's true."
Libby: "I mean, psychotherapy like just got invented so I'm spitballin' here, but maybe if you drew him out a bit, or helped him understand his dad, he'd stop sleepwalking or..."
Essie: "Honey, no. Listen to a thing about men you need to know."
"Women look back. Men only look straight ahead. Disappointment and regret, that's where we live. But men run from it."
Libby: "Toward what?"
Essie: "Pleasure, I'd imagine."
You see what she means, but then you've got (500) Days Of Gini and Crybaby Ethan over here, for just two counterexamples. You've got Bill Masters, walking into the future with his eyes closed because he's too terrified to open them, and too terrified to turn around. You've got Estabrooks Masters, who sold that shit and moved to St. Louis.
WALTER MCADDY
Bill: "Thanks for coming. Back, I mean, to this second private session..."
Walter: "Just you this time? No jerking off?"
Bill: "I just want to ask you questions. About your anonymous ex-wife, and what it's like to fuck her."
EVENING
He can't stop listening to the McAddy tape, even when Gini knocks on the office door to say goodnight: "If I leave right now, I just might be able to put dinner on the table for my kids. Do you mind?" He doesn't mind; he barely needs her at all, tonight.
"...Maybe I shouldn't be talking about this woman in particular. She's not the norm. If you're getting at what it's like with me in bed with a girl most of the time, then this isn't it. This one's different. She knows herself, she knows what feels good. She'll tell you."
When she's gone -- sitting at her dark bus stop, bundled up against the cold, Bill Masters the furthest thing from her mind -- he rewinds the tape again. Some boys need a more worldly woman, they say, to teach them how to dance. Sometimes you've gotta let them lead. Otherwise you're just helpless.
"...Because this one's different. She knows herself, she knows what feels good. She'll tell you. And she wants you to tell her what you want her to do to you. What your fantasy is. Which is a fantasy in itself, am I right?"
Why would a woman fake an orgasm?, he asked. And Betty said, You need a female partner. And now he gets it. He's in the undertow, but he gets it. The ice is cracking, but it's not the baby at all.
"...I'm telling you, Doctor. This woman is magic."
"...This one's different."
This one could save you.
WEEK
In the best episode since the premiere, we crack open Bill Masters's head and take a good hard look inside, Gini and George renegotiate, and Ethan makes his biggest move yet.
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps The Good Wife, Homeland, Hostages, Ravenswood, and Masters Of Sex for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, Twitter, and Facebook, as well as a regular column for Tor.com, Geek Love.