Married By America
When marriage is its own penalty
By Miss Alli | Aired on 04.13.2003
Finale - Previously on Dead and Married: The Preoperational Stage. The peeps. The scandalous secrets. The white dresses. The tuxes. The rings. The wrist holes. The screens. The chemistry. The lack of chemistry. The SUVs. The Huggy-Boo. The sex. The lack...RECAPS, WEECAPS, AND MORE
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1-8 Recap |
When marriage is its own penaltyFinale - There are a lot of wedding trappings, but no one actually gets married. Or wins a prize. Or does anything interesting. This is the most unnecessary two-hour episode ever, considering that it would have required padding to fill one hour. |
04.13.2003 | N/A |
Miss Alli |
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1-7 Recap |
Heaving Las VegasEpisode 8 - Bachelor parties! Strippers! Whipped cream! Wedding dresses! Tiaras! Ricky Martin! And it's still as dull as dirt. |
04.06.2003 04.13.2003 |
N/A |
Miss Alli |
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1-6 Recap |
Family SlapshotsEpisode 7 - Jill and Kevin discuss Playboy and the use of the word "sweetie" with Scary Anthony and the new Bunky. Tony and BJ deal with Crying Duane. Denise and Stephen enjoy a happy family meeting, and then are booted. |
03.30.2003 04.06.2003 |
C+ |
Miss Alli |
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1-5 Recap |
Au Revoir, FreedomyEpisode 6 - Sex week comes to the Huggy-Boo Ranch, as our couples explore their fantasies, their hang-ups, and in Stephen and Denise's case, their mutual emotional dysfunction. But there is no joy in Jennifer and Xavier-ville; mighty Frenchy has struck out. |
03.23.2003 03.29.2003 |
C+ |
Miss Alli |
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1-4 Recap |
Makeouts and FakeoutsEpisode 5 - Our five couples move into the Copper North Ranch, where they react with everything from lust to horror at the realization that they've agreed to marry strangers. What wacky things will happen when there's only one bed? When there's a wacky date? When three pinheads grill them about their nonexistent "relationships"? Oh, come on and pretend you care. |
03.16.2003 03.23.2003 |
C+ |
Miss Alli |
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1-3 Recap |
Familiarity Breeds ContemptEpisode 4 - No, really. It does. It's a lot better not to find out a lot of stuff about somebody before you decide to marry him or her, because all that will happen is that you'll get all tangled up in all the things that might be wrong with him or her. If you want to be happily married, it's better to go with a stranger. Really. Watch these five engagements and see if you're not convinced. |
03.09.2003 03.15.2003 |
D+ |
Miss Alli |
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1-2 Recap |
Doofus, Xavier, Ass-parillaEpisode 3 - They're at it again, those wacky matchmakers at Fox. Who will marry Matt? Who will marry Jennifer? Who will bring Miss Alli an aspirin? |
03.04.2003 03.08.2003 |
N/A |
Miss Alli |
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1-1 Recap |
Welcome To The HellmouthEpisode 1 And 2 - You'd think it would have to at least be amusingly horrific. You would be wrong. |
03.02.2003 03.04.2003 |
N/A |
Miss Alli |