Deadbeat Ponch Fights For Cultural Rights

Previously on Making the Band: Erik met his real father onTRL. That Carson Daly can do anything, can't he? Erik said his brain was going through "craziness." A topless Trevor asked Erik what was wrong. Erik said he doesn't like to share his problems with people. Ashley cuted something about needing Erik to pick up the slack. Erik apologized a few times. He'd better be sorry, because now I'm watching a spinning Jacob kick off the opening credits, and I don't feel so good anymore.

Statue of Liberty. The screen tells us that we are in a magical land known as "New York City." The guys are laying down the finishing touches of "Every Six Seconds," a song that basically says, "Girl, I'm trying to be a nice guy and all gentleman-like, but I'm just a young boy. Every six seconds I'm gonna thump my dick into the small of your back, asking you to give it up again." It's a heartfelt, touching melody about young love. It ain't no "Bootylicious," though. Is Trevor's only job on this show to tell us the exposition? We watch all of the boys record backup vocals as the British men in the sound studio goo and coo over them. "Another cold shower!" is the whiny part that Dan attempts a few times. Erik is rifling through a deck of O-Town cards, picking out which boy is totally his imaginary boyfriend. You know what I hate about young boys who think they can sing? When one person is trying to nail their part, the others are not-so-quietly singing in the background, acting like they're "trying" to do the part as well, but really they're hoping that the producers hear them and go, "Yeah. Like Ashley here. Listen to Ashley. Here. Better yet, Ashley, why don't you just record it?" The Popstars bitches did this, too. It's so annoying and sounds like seventeen different notes floating around the room and the person trying to sing will never get the part right.

Jacob tries to sing his part, and the producers are stumped. They don't know how to make it sound like Jacob could maybe sing just one single note. They end up pointing and singing for him, trying to get him to mimic their singing. Fifty-year-old men are singing at Jacob. How does this boy still not know he's talentless? The other producer just starts laughing at the one who's trying to teach Jacob to sing. The producer then tries to explain the song to Jacob, as if knowing what the words mean will help him to sing them to the correct notes. Jacob looks upset that the producers aren't immediately into "his sound" and are asking him to "sing softer."

Dan sings his part and then looks hesitant. The producers tell Dan that his singing is "usable." Dan jokes that "usable" is always good. The producers glance toward Jacob like, "Kid, you have no idea."

I just met these kids and now that they're all wearing ski caps while they sing I'm having a harder time telling them apart. At least Erik's wearing glasses. Why is there a bar stool in the recording booth? Erik's having a hard time singing his part because family stress is getting him down. He just keeps screwing up over and over, and they say they have to move on. There's a strange mix of editing here that makes it looks like everyone in the world is standing around awkwardly waiting for Erik to be able to sing the words, "Cannot concentrate on anything." They even add that stupid heartbeat background noise like there's any kind of tension. As if these five minutes waiting for Erik to sing are anything like the days they had to re-record every note Jacob ever came near. Erik eventually grabs his backpack and says he's going to go outside for a little while.

Outside on some roof, Erik and Ashley are keeping it real. Ashley asks Erik if he's thinking about his father. Erik confesses that he is. He says that his real dad left when he was one and now he's here and he doesn't know him. He's like a stranger. Ashley rubs his face and yells, "Oh, man!" as if this is the first time he's heard about any of this. Erik says that his mother and grandmother raised him and taught him everything. Erik points at the street below him and says that it'd be like he just walked up to some random person on the street and declared that he wanted to meet him and know all about him. He says that his father is just like any other random stranger on the street to him. I wonder if he's breaking it down this much because he doesn't understand or because Ashley's all, "So, dude! Your real dad! Dude, that's awesome! Where was he?" Ashley says this must "weigh heavy" on Erik's heart. He tells Erik that he's got to be able to talk about it or he'll explode. They cut before Ashley helps Erik explode.

We're in Boston now, for a "Syndicated Radio Promotion." A DJ announces that he's sitting with O-Town, and the room filled with teen girls becomes a screamfest. It's "John Garabedian's 'Open House Party,'" and not one of those five words means anything to me. The boys cheer for themselves on the radio. Some guy named Dan who insists he's in the band tells us that "Liquid Dreams" was just released on the radio. The DJ asks the boys to read something for the station as a group; Ashley tries to get them to go on his cue, but they all start without him. Dan explains that it's important that "radio stations" play "their songs" so that people can "hear" the "music." Maybe Dan just learned how the music business works, but the rest of us saw Satisfaction a long time ago.

The DJ mentions that things have really changed for the boys of O-Town over the past year. Ashley gives a cute smile. Dan tries to remember his line. Jacob and Trevor stall and agree over and over again with whatever the DJ spits out. The DJ asks how many hours a day they work on the album. Erik looks at Ashley. "Oh, he means the album for real," he thinks. "Not just what we say when we go off to make out." Ashley answers that they work about twelve to thirteen hours a day on the album. "Five!" Jacob shouts. Ashley explains that they wanted to put out an album quickly, but they also wanted to put out a good album, so they work on it all the time. Dan looks over like, "I could have said that." Jacob looks over like, "Then how come my schedule only has me working with you guys five hours a week?" Dan sums it up for us: "If you don't have radio, all the other stuff isn't really important." If you don't have communication skills, all the other stuff toaster eating cactus fish.

Back in New York, Erik calls his mother. They use a grainy black-and-white film here to show the heartbreak and tragedy of Erik losing his grandmother. They keep editing and cutting the scenes together, showing Erik upset and mostly listening. He tells us that she meant the world to him, and basically raised him. Erik sits in a stairwell. He says that this is all too much right now. We fade to commercial as Erik curls into a ball on the stairs.

I can't believe the cameras are following Erik for the funeral. The poor boy can't even mourn with his family in private? Erik's mother is telling him that his grandmother came here from Puerto Rico, and that the first thing she saw was the Statue of Liberty. She wanted her ashes scattered in the Hudson River, so the family has gathered on the rainy pier to do just that. "She's a true New Yorker," Erik smiles at us. The family says nice things about their grandmother as they gather in a circle. Erik's uncle reads a passage from the Bible (Joshua 1:9) that was her favorite. The camera lens is covered in raindrops as they scatter the ashes into the water. The family holds each other quietly.

Erik is talking to his mother and, I guess stepfather? He tells them that this is a very hard time for him. He confesses that his biological father, Ruben, got in contact with him and it was "always in [his] grandmother's interest" that he talked to him. I don't know why his grandmother would want him to patch things up with Ruben, but she did, and now Erik's telling his parents that he's going to try to talk to him. He tells them that if they have anything to say or any words of encouragement right now, he'd really appreciate them. Erik's mother says that getting ahead in life takes work and sometimes hurts or is hard. She says that the verse they read at the funeral talks about being strong. The stepdad or uncle guy tells Erik that they are proud of him and love him. Erik's mother says this is something he has to do on his own.