Previously: The models worked with livestock. Sandhurst won the photo challenge. Jonathan won immunity, though. Branden, Amanda and Colin got criticism on the catwalk, but it was Colin who was sent home. That one still stings.
Well look at that, we have our entire panel for this week's show! It's morning at the condos across the street from my gym, and Jonathan and Sandhurst are lounging in their bunk beds. Jonathan says that he misses Colin. Sandhurst interviews that, because Colin was so lovable, he will be missed a lot in the condo. Now, though, he says that the competition is really stiff. Jonathan recalls that the judges told him last week that he looks like money and he prays for that to be true. We see him dab on a little make-up in the mirror. Poor Salome, she's still on the treadmill. Amanda interviews that she believes the judges placed her in the bottom two last week in an effort to scare her and make her "step up [her] game." It wasn't because you were one of the worst two people in the competition? Interesting.
Jonathan uncovers the clue for this week's photo challenge -- it reads that it's all about "little" things. Amanda, of course, makes it more complicated than necessary and ponders that it may be about the smallest movements making the biggest difference. Salome's like, "Maybe it's about little people." Heh. Jeff thinks that it may be about "little underwear." Jonathan:Judges looking at him and seeing money as Jeff:This challenge being about little underwear.
They meet Tyson and Nicole at a studio in Manhattan. They are standing in front of a table of accessories. Nicole says that accessories are very important to a model and they have to know how to work with them. They race to choose one accessory from the table, then get back in line. Sandhurst selected a pair of gloves, though he had considered a briefcase. This is huge. Jordan picked a white bag. Jonathan got a "nice scarf." That would be the scarf familiar to all of us who have watched the title sequence of this program. The scarf covering a headless model's naughty bits because he was nude otherwise. Get comfortable, episode of Make Me A Supermodel, you're going to be on my DVR for a long time. Branden got a tie. Salome picked earrings, and she interviews that she did so because her portfolio didn't have any beauty shots in it and she wants to prove her versatility. Mountaha picked a blocky pair of patent leather heels. Amanda is wearing "a little scarf thingy."
Tyson introduces Bill Diodato, a photographer whose work has been in Glamour, Marie Claire and Nylon. It looks like he's shot a lot of accessories. At least 3. Now, Tyson and Nicole move to a black curtain to show the models what they'll be wearing for the shoot. I see where this is going. They pull away the curtain to reveal empty hangers. NAKED. Hell yeah. Bill says that the shoot is about emphasizing the accessory, but we know it's all about T and A. Branden feels like an ass now for picking a tie. Sandhurst has gloves.
We see a heavenly sequence of the models getting naked and made-up. Salome has nipple pads on while some lady seriously rubs her boobs. Branden has to shave his testicles and apparently causes some bleeding. Amanda tells us that she doesn't want her son to become gay, so she walks naked around him all of the time. Just sit with that for a minute. That's all it takes to not be gay -- seeing your mom naked. Because, you know once you see your mom's junk, you'd be all, "Ooh, I gotta get me some of that. And, I don't want to watch Golden Girls or Make Me A Supermodel." At one point, Branden teases Amanda to not be too shy (she has a strapless bra on while the rest of the girls are sporting the nipple pads) and she tells him to shut up. I love Branden. His objective is clearly just to see her naked, not razz her. He's pure that way. Jordan, who seems to talk about Amanda so much more than she talks TO her, or really anyone-- seriously, she's obsessed with Amanda -- says that Amanda is lying if she says she is comfortable getting naked in front of everyone.
Jonathan is first. He says this challenge is all about selling yourself at its most elemental. Bill tells him that they don't want the picture to look too International Male, which is code for over-the-top gay. Funny, because I could swear that Bill's turtleneck was an International Male purchase. Jonathan says that he's used to being naked, but not in front of a crew of people. Pause -- there's a few seconds of his behind. Well done, Jonathan. Bill tells him to relax his ass at one point. Jonathan interviews that shoots like these are the reason that they go to the gym. Tyson praises him for showing the right stuff and we see that part of Jonathan's crotch is exposed and blurred. The effect is that it looks like Tyson just said, "Yeah, show your crotch, that's right." Bill praised him for letting it all hang out while really working the accessory.
Backstage, the girls make fun of how shy Amanda is. Mountaha is up . She interviews that she would be lying if she said she wasn't a little nervous. She has to do this crouching pose, but Bill doesn't want her to sit on the shoes. Much like Jonathan just said, but for a different reason, Mountaha has a really hard time maintaining that pose. Girl needs to spend more time in the gym. Bill is not happy that they shot so many frames, but he feels that Mountaha has a vintage photo quality and thinks that they got a good shot. She interviews that she has leg spasms because she doesn't work out.
Salome is , and Amanda interviews that she must be regretting choosing the earrings now. She adds that it's ironic for the largest girl to pick the smallest accessory. Well, haters be damned, Salome looks good. She's totally fine -- drops her robe and walks to her mark. Bill seems to really be into her. He tells her that she has a nice butt, and she slaps it in response. She's a hot little mama right now. At one point, he tells her that her eyes should always follow her nose, which she says is the best advice she got that day. She interviews that her parents are going to think she's damned to hell, and that her photo will never be featured in the Mennonite Weekly News.
Amanda babbles to Jonathan backstage that she is glad this challenge didn't come earlier in the competition, because her insecurities have... blah, blah. She doesn't even finish. Sandhurst is standing on his toes and doing some sort of backbend in the mirror. He interviews that he is not used to being naked in front of a group of people; however, he feels that his body is a temple -- a temple that should be visited and photographed as often as possible. He poses in a crouch. The shoot seems to go well. At one point, Bill asks him to stand full-frontal and they'll just crop out his stuff. Sandhurst VO's, "I am an African god, and EVERYONE wants to see me naked." That's possibly taken out of context, but he said it! Bill likes Sandhurst a lot and says that he will do very well.
Jordan is . She tells us that it took her a long time to become confident with her body, but she's glad to have the chance to try out said new confidence. She puts the big, white bag on her shoulder, and a strap covers her nipple. Bill gets the shot in the first frame! He takes a few more just for kicks and also praises her for taking direction well.
Amanda is up and, of course, we have to hear more about her stupid insecurity. Nicole tells her to just relax. Bill asks her to soften her look -- she's already naked and doesn't need to try to look sexy. He says that Amanda did a good job ignoring that there were so many people in the room, however she needs to work on having a relaxed, approachable look on her face. She thanks Nicole for all of her help and blahs about how eight weeks ago, she wouldn't have been able to do this.
Branden interviews that he needs to improve this week, as he was almost in the bottom two last week. Well, he doesn't. He face is tense and his body apparently doesn't look toned enough. Odd, because he looks pretty yummy from here. It's kind of odd to see him all hot and naked, getting admonished by Bill and Tyson. This may be a new fetish genre: Nude Model Humiliation. Bill takes Tyson aside and says that the shoot is not working -- a client would call for a reshoot if this is what they got. They try again and it still doesn't go entirely well. Stripped bare with bleeding testicles and no decent shots, Branden is bummed.
Later, at the condo, Branden is a mess. He's all writing in his journal with a blue headband on, then he's crying to Mountaha and Amanda about missing his mom. Amanda interviews that it's cute and sad to see. She adds that, though this is a competition, they need to be here for each other. That's a sweet sentiment. Later, the girls (minus Amanda) are talking about the day's shoot. Mountaha says that she feels like she overcame an obstacle today. Salome is happy to have a nudie shot in her book.
The day, Nicole arrives with the photos. Her accent is so crazy. I'm seriously stunned that she's Australian and not Italian or something. Jonathan's shot is pretty awesome. It's pretty shadowy throughout, except on his brightly lit ass. Branden asks to see it a second time and Jonathan replies, "I'll get a copy for you, Branden." Gay Panic Branden does not like this, but laughs it off. Salome looks at her picture and loves it. Nicole tells her that her body looks great, but Sandhurst interviews that a lot of Salome's body was missing. I'm assuming that he thinks that Salome's body was a liability and the cropping gives her an unfair advantage. Branden's photo is and though he's a hot piece, the photo is not that special. He doesn't like it, either. Mountaha loves her photo. Her back is to the camera and really shows off the shoes. Sandhurst loves his as well. He looks good, which he acknowledges and says, "The truth is the truth." Then, he pauses and takes it back because it's too conceited. Jordan is thrilled with her photo. Amanda hates hers. I guess it's a little blah, but she's crying about it, which seems extreme.
Cory Bautista calls. He wants to speak to... Salome. She screams for joy, and Jordan gives a look like, "Oh my god, calm down." I sort of just hate Jordan now. Even when I agree with her, her attitude is so relentlessly negative. Salome interviews that she loves that the "biggest-butted girl" won the nude photo shoot. Her go-see is at Vitra, "one of the most innovative design companies in the world." So says Cory. She has the chance of being featured in a future Vitra ad campaign. Mountaha mentions as well that Salome's picture featured only her upper body. Looks like she chose the right accessory to me. She chooses Jordan to go with her on the go-see. In the car, Jordan says that everyone in the house is annoying, even the people who she likes. Salome agrees, everyone is annoying, even Jordan. Jordan seems shocked, but tries to act like she knows that she's annoying.
Amanda cries to Sandhurst about having the worst photo and the likelihood of her going home this week. Sandhurst tells her to buck up and fight for what she wants. She says she will. At the go-see, Salome and Jordan pose on furniture. The Vitra guys feel like Salome was sculptural and beautiful, but too dramatic. They liked Jordan and feel that she is the front-runner, though no one has gotten the job. Back at the condo, Sandhurst is saying to all of the models that Salome has the worst walk on the runway. Branden just says that he doesn't like her. Amanda points out that she has been on a ton of castings and has not gotten one job. Then, Jordan and Salome walk in. Sandhurst half-heartedly asks how it went, but Jordan laughingly replies that they don't really care. She interviews that she has a drama radar and can tell that people were talking trash before they walked in. In the bedroom, they mention that Branden wasn't even looking at them when they walked in.
Jonathan gets a call from his wife, Dani. She's running out of money and will not be able to make rent. Ouch. Jonathan says he isn't sure exactly when he'll be home. Later, he tells Salome and Amanda about the call. Amanda asks if there's anyone who can loan Dani money, but Jonathan says that he has too much pride of that. He says that his only option is to win the show. Or, be in an underwear ad for 2(X)ist underwear. Wait. Why won't those people pay up?
The day, the models are greeted by Tyson on the catwalk. Amanda wonders where Nicole is. Tyson tells that today's catwalk challenge is about accessories, though they get to keep their clothes on this time. He informs them that there's a tradition of using models as living art pieces. He recalls that Viktor & Rolf once draped their models in wing dresses with track lighting. Today, the models will be a part of that tradition. Nicole enters the catwalk wearing a glass globe over her head. She takes it off at the end of the catwalk and tells the models that they will be wearing the same contraption, along with body-conscious clothing. The challenge will be to walk with a steady, confident walk, while wearing the globe thing. Also, something will apparently be in the globe, but they're not telling them what, or who. Until a few minutes later. Butterflies! That's actually a lovely idea, though I wonder if any got smooshed.
Sandhurst walks first and has to keep from laughing, because he's ticklish. The globe cut into Jordan's shoulders and her shoes were too small, so there was no danger of her laughing. Branden was worried. He fogged up the globe, he was stiff-- he felt like it sucked. Mountaha is and the butterflies really worked for her. They frame her face beautifully. She says that she felt so peaceful and beautiful on the runway. Amanda says that she is one of the most deserving people in the competition, because she can do anything. Anything requiring an "Eff Me" face. Salome walks and Perou remarks, "She's still got the wobble." I guess Sandhurst was right. She poses before she leaves the catwalk and it doesn't look like Perou likes that. Jonathan is up and interviews that he is desperate to give his wife and child everything they could want.
Tyson introduces the judges. Everyone is staying on stage for comments. Jenny says that Sandhurst was lucky that a butterfly landed on his temple when he was looking at her and it was a beautiful effect. Catherine liked his photo but thinks that he can be much more sexy. She says that it's time for him to prove that he can be a supermodel. Jenny liked Jonathan's photo. Perou thinks it was safe. They remind him that Kerryn had two immunities before she was kicked off -- he can't "play it safe." Whatever that means. I guess his walk lacked some spark, but how do you have a problem with that photo? Marlon loved Salome's photo. Catherine thought that her pose before leaving the runway was inappropriate. She would have freaked if that had been her show. Marlon was disappointed in Amanda's photo. She blabs about how her body has changed since she had her son and she had insecurities. Salome is about to laugh and Perou asks her what's up. She says that she's hearing a lot of excuses and, when you look at a photograph, you don't hear the excuses. Catherine thought that Jordan had the best walk, but the worst photo. She thinks she looks like a little girl. Also, she's worried that Jordan likes the photo. Jenny says that Jordan isn't showing the same spark that she did in the beginning and (completely spontaneously, I'm sure) asks her if she is unhappy in the condo. She says that the competition is getting tough and they're all irritated with each other. Perou reminds her that beginner models usually live in a house together, which can be even more annoying. They're disappointed with Branden's photo. Perou thinks he looks confused. They ask him not to take what they say so personally, because it looks like their earlier criticism has really gotten to him. Catherine felt that Mountaha was one of the only people on the catwalk to keep focus. Perou is disappointed to hear that Mountaha moved before the photographer got his shot. He also doesn't like her in profile.
Tyson's advice for the judges? "You guys have a big decision to make. That's all I got to say." Nicole just says that some of the girls are not standing out. The judges confer. Jenny thinks they've reached a ceiling. Suddenly, Catherine feels that Jordan's walk AND picture were good. Whatever, she just said it was the worst. Perou is bored with Jonathan. Salome is still too fat. Marlon isn't sure how much she can change her body. They really liked Mountaha's walk. They feel like Sandhurst is growing. Perou is bored with Amanda. Marlon feels that Branden got lucky in his photo (apparently, that one's good, now, too). He has potential. Perou thinks he was better when his ego was huge.
Everyone's back at the catwalk. Sandhurst, Jonathan and Mountaha are in the top. Mountaha is safe. Jonathan is safe. Sandhurst is the winner! He interviews that being in the top seven times in a row confirms his argument that he is consistent. Jordan and Salome are safe. That leaves Branden and Amanda. Amanda is already crying. Tyson tells Amanda that the judges are afraid Amanda is forgettable. He tells Branden that he lost his confidence with his ego. Amanda cannot be made into a supermodel. She's a wreck. Branden goes backstage and Jordan looks so thrilled to see him she could pee herself. Tyson tells Amanda to never stop chasing her dreams. Amanda tells the judges that they may not have been able to make her into a supermodel, but they made her into a "damn good model." Eh. Then, she leaves. She interviews that this was all worth it, and she is not giving up.
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Jeff Long is posing with his remote control. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com.