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Listen, America. What really IS wrong with you? Because you've voted, and Casey has been sent home. All right, so he walks a little funny and has about as much emotional strength as a pre-teen girl at a Jonas Brothers concert, but...did you get a good look at his face? The young man is stunning! Already reeling from having lost his only remaining dude in the house, Perry is further devastated to finally learn the details of his girlfriend's fifteen nanoseconds of fame in the tabloids. He is devastated, but determined to use this tragedy to become a stronger contender in the contest. Everybody is getting testy now, as they near the end. Ronnie, once so beloved by all, is putting himself on the bitch seat, even. When they are all flown off to New Orleans for a gothic photo shoot in a cemetery with a raven named Dennis (really), he and Shannon don't work very well together, and when she goes to do some shots without him, he bitches about her behind her back with Ben. Everyone goes out for a night on the town where they all get drunk and have fun together before going the day to help work on a Katrina rehab site. It might have been cheesy, but it's endearing, really. Back in New York, Perry's lonely without a roommate, and Ronnie and Ben connive against the girls. The catwalk assignment this week is that each of them should choreograph their own gothic fashion show. Shannon immediately takes control, and can't really collaborate well with anyone. They end putting something together that turns out pretty well, and everyone looks great in the clothes. During the Q&A, Ronnie throws Shannon under the bus, and she gets pissed. They have a little verbal sparring match, and it doesn't make either of them look good. The judges, to my great delight, are very rational in their critiques in this episode, and point out some of the models' real, but fixable, flaws. For this week only, they'll put two models up for the vote instead of three. Holly is again named the winner of the week, making her safe, and into the pit go Shannon (for the first time, ever) and Ronnie. Catfight! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Casey wakes up on the morning of his potential elimination and throws stuff at Perry until he, too, becomes conscious so that they can have a conversation not about how Casey is nervous that he might go home, but all about Perry. I must pause here to say how absolutely, unbelievably gorgeous Casey is. Even first thing in the morning? He's lying there looking totally studly in a T-shirt reading "I was hired for my looks." If only someone would make him a supermodel... Perry laments Casey's possible booting, going on and on about how if Casey goes, he'll be left all alone with no one with whom to make up skits or make jokes. Aw. I suppose this is how narcissists say "I love you (but not as much as I love myself)."Meanwhile, in the room, Ben desperately tries to hang on to Ronnie's love, moaning about how it's possible that one of them will go home. Ronnie responds with some canned stuff, and Ben scrambles for the camera, saying that the Bloomingdale's fiasco of last week taught him a lot. "I don't know what got into my head," he says, "but I just had a bad day." Ronnie waxes philosophical: "We're our own worst obstacles," he says, flubbing it from the start. "Whether it be confidence, not thinking we're sexy enough, not thinking we've got it..." Ben throws his smarts in the ring: "... thinking too much." Hell, maybe these geniuses deserve each other.
Shannon teases Holly that she wants her "secret lover," Ben to come back, but really, Holly says, she only wants him to stay because Casey and Ronnie get on her nerves. See? She used to love Ronnie, too, but clearly since he's gotten really competitive about things, he's changed.
At the catwalk, Tyson is looking fly in his peach v-neck, even when he does the unthinkable and sends Casey home. Oh, yeah. No sense in dragging it out, people. I've run out of ways to describe the pausing, drumming, cutting, sweating, faux-intensity of the elimination. It's illegal that Casey is gone and Ben is still there. Even in his dumb organ-grinder's coat, Casey looks fantastic. He receives the news with a pained look, and thanks the panel for the amazing adventure. You know, I love Casey's pigeon-toed walk. He's sexy, and cute, and probably a very nice person when he's not being controlled by someone like Perry. He's just really young and kind of dumb, but surely someone will give him a contract. Backstage, he talks about how much he's learned about himself and how he's going to take that and run with it. Back on the panel, Cory tells Ben to his face that America voted wrong this week. Right on, Cory. Dismissed, Ronnie and Ben walk off stage with their arms around each other. At the house, Holly, Shannon and Perry have the dumbest debate of the series. Holly says she wants Casey to go, because he's just been mediocre so far. Perry, instead of defending his beloved dude, wonders why she wouldn't want the weakest links to stay. Holly and Shannon both say they want to have competition -- that out-performing people who are also good makes them look even better. Of course, I could go either way on this. I hate to side with Perry, but he's both trying to be a model and win this game, and the ladies may have forgotten about that second part. "I just want to win," Perry says. Shannon further slams Casey, saying he's just scrounged by somehow throughout the competition. Um, possibly he's scrounged by because he's more beautiful than any man or woman on the show? Shannon's getting the shaft edit this week, after so many weeks of positive spin, and it's jarring. Remember that.
Disregarding Tyson's advice, Perry immediately goes into Ben and Ronnie's room to share his news. They are, naturally, slackjawed. Ronnie, in fact, cannot contain his glee. These are not Perry's wingmen, you know, so they are offering reduced support here. "If this is true," Perry rambles, "then she's not worth me. What girl would do that?" Ben advises him to take the plane ride to clear his head. Ronnie remains uncomfortably silent. Sighing, Perry heads back to his room to pack, throwing his head back in frustration to shout "WHORE!" So, I guess giving her the benefit of the doubt is not an option?
Many shots are shown of the French Quarter, causing me to have flashbacks to my misspent youth, and the models arrive at their fancy hotel where they'll be staying in a totally pimped-out, chintzed-out suite. "So, this is what real supermodels do?" Holly marvels. "It's like, crazy that Niki and Tyson [do] this all the time, and it's nothing to them, you know?" The boys' room contains only two beds, one of which Perry calls as his own. "That's cool, baby," Ben says, though it is so sincerely not cool. Perry tells the camera that Ben was really adamant that he wanted to sleep with Ronnie in the same bed. Stepping into the shot, Ben deadpans "he's lying," before punching Perry in the nuts. He had it coming, I guess, but then so did Ben. Perry falls to the floor laughing and in pain. Later, they all open gift baskets containing French Quarter goodies, including Mardi Gras masks and voodoo dolls. "Perry and Ben," Ronnie laughs maniacally, sticking his doll with a pin, "you're going home!" Perry is still talking about his girlfriend. He tells Holly, who is obviously experiencing a tiny bit of Schadenfreude, that Amanda had spent five nights in a row with "some 40-year-old guy." It's so funny that that's more offensive to him than the Britney association. Like Ghalib being 40 is worse than the fact that he has a goatee that makes his chin look like a woman's genitals. What? You know it's true. Holly asks if the wedding plans are off. "Fuck, yeah, the wedding plans are off," Perry says, noting that Amanda will never be able to "get this back," meaning himself. Later, we see him in bed, mulling it all over while we hear him talk in a voiceover about how now it's just him against the world. I'm sure this would be very inspirational if the camera didn't linger for a full thirty seconds on a shot of him propping up his legs, pushing back the covers and mindlessly SCRATCHING his BALLS while we hear him say he's going to move forward in the competition and "come with a vengeance." This show writes its own jokes. I swear to God, I cannot believe they just showed that on television.
Ronnie, firing up the saw, notes that these power tools are not like the ones in his bedroom, and everyone cheers when they complete a section of wall. Holly, especially, is emotional about the whole thing and is even more incomprehensible than normal as she interviews. Poor thing, I can believe she really feels for this lady they're helping, and though she seems a little dramatic, she seems sincere. She even writes a little inspirational message on the inside of the wall and brings the lady over to read it, trying to say that through faith, the lady can know everything will be all right. Again, I could rip this, but I just refuse. I mean, maybe the lady does not have the same faith Holly does, sure, and maybe Holly is stepping all up in it and saying the wrong things, but I kind of love her for caring. The woman, who is probably wondering just why she agreed to this tomfoolery, is nonetheless very sweet to Holly and thanks her like only a Southern woman can. "I do have faith," the lady says, kissing her cheek, "because I've met people like you."
Niki sends Perry and Shannon off to Design Within Reach to buy the woman a housewarming gift for a her house that doesn't even have walls. OK, now I can snark. Especially because I don't think this 60-something year old voluptuous lady with a cane is going to love sitting around among the naked beams in a $5,700 Egg Chair. On the way to the store, Perry tells Shannon that working on the house has put his personal problems into perspective, and they happily go into the store together to buy her the most impractical chair imaginable. Back at the site, the homeowner thanks them sincerely, and everyone cheers. Back in NYC, everyone's exhausted. Perry sits in his room having a sad conversation with himself while Shannon and Holly discuss Ronnie's inability to make much of their New Orleans photo shoot, likening him to a Ken doll dressed as a vampire. Good one, girls. Conversely, Ronnie wants both girls gone, and thinks Shannon really didn't perform in New Orleans.
They find out the day that this week's catwalk will build on all their Goth experience. Their assignment, in fact, is to choreograph a show between them that is dark and dramatic. David, from New York Models, is there to lend his bitchy helping hand, but since these people are trying to be models, not choreographers, they don't really know what they're doing. When Shannon judges their mumbling silence as cluelessness and tries to take over, the guys immediately get defensive and resentful. True, she comes on crazy strong, and boss, dubbing herself the high priestess in a concept about them all hunting down Holly, the sacrificial lamb. "I guess Shannon wanted to be a chief," Ben says, "instead of being an Indian like the rest of us." Dude, what was your idea again? Nothing? That's what I thought.
They work on the show, coming up with all these roles, while David watches. He says in an interview that he finds her arrogant in this exercise, and the rest of them are too campy. He wants them to make it more slick, though I am not sure how he thinks they'd know how to do that, at all. "People don't do shows like that anymore," he snits. "It's the kind of show you'd see in a supermarket." I don't know what that means, but it's evil. And, if he's right, why are they doing it?!
Finally, it's time for the show. In the midst of a bazillion tea lights, Holly comes out, carrying a skull, pursued by Ben, holding a candelabra. They all look great in the clothes -- except Ronnie who again looks costumey -- and actually the little scenes they've come up with are interesting, at least. The panel seems pleased, but when the models come out for the hated Q&A, Cory says he feels like Perry overacted. He defends himself saying it was a dramatic piece, and Jennifer jumps in to point out that it's hard to accuse him of overdoing something that's such a production anyway. "Well, either they do it right, or they don't," Cory shoots back. But how are they supposed to even know how to do it right? Stupid. Niki asks Ben how it felt to be in his home town, and he says it was the slap in the face that he needed. Except...how is that a slap in the face? He said he was also inspired by Cory's "America voted wrong" comment, and Cory has to eat a little crow (not Dennis!) and say Ben did well this week. He gets a little dig in, though, saying it was because Ben's normal stiffness worked to his advantage in these challenges. Holly, again, has blown them all away. Niki notes that she very easily falls into the roles she's given. Jennifer FINALLY says something to Holly about her posture, which has always been sub-par. I hope Holly notes it for the future. Ronnie is dissed all around for his weak catwalk -- Tyson stingingly notes that he was outshined by Perry and Ben. Jennifer says that the photo shoot wasn't exactly Ronnie's forte, and that his lack of edginess was apparent. Shannon, also, does not receive high marks. Cory, normally her biggest fan, is disappointed, and Shannon takes great offense to the criticism. Nine weeks of this and still none of them know when not to talk. She does the up-talking thing saying that during the photo shoot, it was "certainly awkward to be lying in that posistion" but that she wasn't uncomfortable, as Niki suggests. Girl, just BE QUIET. But, no. She kind of argues back and forth until they pull Ronnie into it, and he throws her under the bus. He says it was difficult working with Shannon on the shoot, and even when Jennifer gives him an out asking if he thinks Shannon's difficulty came from having to lie down, he says no, that wasn't it, she was just bad. Shannon shoots him a look that could cut glass, and accuses Ronnie straight out of kissing the asses of the panel. They're all put off by the sniping. Ronnie goes on to accuse Shannon of thinking she has this whole thing in the bag, which she flatly denies, but he just keeps on going. "I've noticed when you guys have given Shannon criticisms," he smugly says, all teachers' pet, "she always kind of answers with a question." The rest of the models start to sweat as it just goes on and on, Ronnie twisting the knife and Shannon being defensive. It's gross. Finally, Cory tells her that if she's in a photo and the client doesn't like it, it doesn't matter what she thinks of it, herself. Ouch.
The panel does my job for me, recapping what we just heard. They argue about Perry's work, going back and forth about his overacting and his ability to deliver more than one look. About Ronnie, Jennifer says she wouldn't have cast him in a Goth shoot. Niki thinks Shannon brought Ronnie down in this particular shoot. They're all disappointed in Shannon's photos and her catwalk, and especially in her comments during the Q&A. Cory says her comeback about Ronnie telling the judges what they want to hear was tasteless and classless. Oh, whatever. She's RIGHT, but of course, when Jennifer points out that Shannon always feels like she has to have the last word, I can't help but agree.
Holly impressed everyone with her complete immersion into the role of the photo shoot, but all agree that she needs to work on her presence and body language to at least give the illusion that she's strong. "If she was my girl and I was her agent," Cory says, "I would say 'let them see your book first, before you talk.'" AW! Well, hell, he's right. Cory proceeds to do a whiny, mealy-mouthed impression of Holly that is dead on. Evil, but true. For whatever reason, they like Ben's photo shoot. I guess he looks good, fine, but only because the photo involved him staring intensely into the camera like he was about to murder it.
The models are brought back out to hear who did the best and worst. Holly is again declared the winner of the week, much to her delight, and Ben is complimented for his intensity and attitude and deemed safe. Tyson tells Shannon she lost her sparkle this week, and says Ronnie faded into the background. Both are put up for the vote while Perry is called safe. Oh, America. What will you do now?