Episode Report Card Al Lowe: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Slopes Trial
By Al Lowe | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 02.27.2008
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Ben, Perry, and Jacki are up for the vote. America figures it can't make Jacki a supermodel. We all saw it coming. To my great displeasure, she declines to kick Perry and Ben in the nuts. Back at the house, Holly and Shannon, the only remaining girls, are feeling pretty lonely. Everyone is excited to hear that, the next day, they'll be going on a surprise "winter weekend." They arrive at a ski resort, where they must be photographed acting like "rich kids" in the snow. Niki is just telling them that the person who does the worst in the challenge will have to go back to New York while everyone else stays in a vacation cabin when Shannon suddenly doubles over in pain. She is carried off on a snowmobile to be attended to, and the rest of the models get dressed up in Ralph Lauren. Ronnie and Perry are paired up, and have to put on these little mini-skis and ski down a hill toward the photog. They fall all over their asses. Perry rips his pants. It's totally ridiculous. Ben and Holly must stand on a sled and try to glide down the same hill. While drinking champagne. Listen, don't ask me. Shannon returns from the sick bay and works with frankie and Casey, running and sliding down the hill. The Miami boy has a few problems, and he is the one sent back to NYC. Lucky for him: the rest of the models are shocked to wake up the next morning to their trainer's whistle, and must roll out of bed to have a snow competition. They are split into teams, and told that today's losers will have to return to New York to clean their apartment with toothbrushes. Ronnie, Perry, and Casey take on Shannon, Holly, and Ben. Things get heated when Ben gets super-competitive, making really weird, gay-bashing, woman-hating comments to Ronnie and Casey. Everyone is offended across the board. Shannon, Holly, and Ben have to clean up the house when they get back; then Ronnie tries to make Ben clean up his act by taking him to task over his earlier comments. It's excruciatingly uncomfortable, and Ronnie lets Ben off the hook WAY too easy. The next day, the models (minus Shannon, who is now so ill that she has had to go to the emergency room) arrive at the catwalk, where they must finish their walks by stepping on a spinning turntable. It's pretty hard, but they all do okay. Shannon even arrives half-dead, determined to participate. The panel is back to liking Perry and hating frankie, but oh, how they love Ronnie. Ben gets a lot of negative feedback, and Tyson finally figures out his problem: Ben doesn't find himself sexy. They also are displeased with Casey, who they accuse of being too sensitive and then proceed to attack viciously. In the end, Holly is declared the winner of the week, and frankie, Casey, and Ben are put up for the vote. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
What I keep asking myself is: How many more weeks of this? Except, when I ask it in my head, it sounds like this: How many more weeeeeeeeeks of thiiiiiiiiiiiiis? These stupid people are killing my soul. I even like some of them, and pretty much find them all beautiful, but they need to shut up, and soon.
Perry wakes up on the morning of elimination ready to face the music. Do the producers not pay a heating bill for this house? Because this young man is sleeping in a cardigan. He holds his arm aloft and prays in a revival tone: "Model gods, if you're up there...if you can hear me...In the name of GQ, Calvin, Tommy, Nautica, please grace me with your presence. Abercrombie and Fitch." Okay, that's hilarious. Well played, Perry. Now, don't piss me off again, lest I invoke some Members' Only on your behind. "Can't our room stay out of the bottom three?" frankie asks, all mopey. Remember that.
Before the panel go Ben, Perry and Jacki. I can't even decide who I'd like to see leave more, so jerky are they all. Doesn't matter anyway, because as Tyson reminds us, it's out of the hands of the panel, which includes him, Creepy Cory, and Jennifer Starr, rocking her best cheekbone-highlighting Dr. Evil pursed lips.
The tense drums of intensity play as Tyson slowly drags out the announcement of who's getting booted. It's Jacki. Perry puts his hands on his knees and leans down in relief. I am sad, honestly, because Jacki's at least better than Ben, right? Jacki does get a little teary, and is very disappointed. It's terrible to say this, but she's very pretty when she cries. "This is what I was born to do," she says backstage, "and I'm going to continue to do it." Tyson has the balls to look slightly disappointed in the outcome after he trashed her last week.
In the car on the ride home, Perry and Ben revel in their male superiority. Perry snidely says he's sure Shannon's back at the house talking about how Jacki will be coming back. He is exactly right. She thinks it will be Jacki and Ben returning, based on the way the judges chewed Perry out last week. "I feel that Perry's a strong model," Ronnie contributes, but goes on to say that Perry turns a lot of people off with his attitude. "I don't think he turns a lot of people off," frankie says. "I think a lot of people like him, you know?" Aw, frankie, don't worry. Daddy's coming home.
In first is Ben. Ronnie holds up a sign reading "Welcome Home, Ben" and everyone seems surprised, if pleased, to see him. Everyone, that is, except frankie. He puts his face in his hands, obviously expecting to see Jacki come in next. "Well, I learned a valuable lesson today," Ben says. "Arrogance is not really a supermodel quality." They all look at the door, trying to decide who the less-arrogant of the possible two could be. With that, Ben calls back over his shoulder: "Hey, sweetheart! Come here, baby!" and Perry runs in to the delighted howls of Casey and frankie. I think Casey also has a "Welcome Home" sign. Ben says in an interview that he wishes Perry had gone home. There can be only one narcissistic buzz cut in this house!