Episode Report Card Al Lowe: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Fashion! Turn To The Left!
By Al Lowe | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 02.06.2008
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.America has voted, and Jay cannot be made into a supermodel. He accepts it gracefully, and manages not to make a fool of himself. Back at the house, the smack-talkers talk smack. These people are some conniving bitches, man, plain and simple, which makes it so gross that they get the chance go to full-on VIP at New York Fashion Week. This week, there will be no photo shoot. Instead, it's all about the catwalk. They are, of course, overwhelmed with excitement. Ronnie, in fact, cries. Speaking of Ronnie, it's his birthday. And guess what? It's Ben's birthday, too. Isn't that...sweet? They all go out to dinner to celebrate the boys and, when Perry asks each girl to share a personal secret, Jacki shares that she can fart on command. Then they harass her into doing it. In the restaurant. On television. At walk practice this week with Debbie and that other guy from New York Models, the girls are less than impressive. Debbie says that Katy is behind everyone else. The guys are not so great either, apparently, although Ben has improved. When he sees that his private coach, Ronnie, is struggling, Ben stands at the end of the runway and gives him a come-hither look to help. The week has other surprises in store: the models will actually walk in a Fashion Week show! They freak out. The girls do well in their show, and the designer loves Holly, but doesn't really feel Katy and Shannon. After the show, the contestants come back to the house, and when Katy goes to bed, the rest of them play a game where they must vote on who among them is most or least likely to [fill in the blank]. It gets a little ugly between the guys and the girls, and it carries over into the next day. They're starting to split into camps and snipe at each other. In the boys' runway show, frankie, Casey, and Ben impress, while Perry and Ronnie are not quite as notable. Back at the gym, Casey, Katy, and frankie are disparaged for not showing the physical results of their diet and exercise. Katy's having some problems -- she's sleeping a lot and not eating right, and her bitchy roommates probably aren't helping. After they've walked in the big shows, they have to come back and do their regular weekly catwalk. This week, they're "rocking the downtown New York look." The models are getting a lot more confident, at least on the runway, but that doesn't help when it's time for the panel to dole out the critiques. This week, they're just as confusing as ever -- Holly's perfect; Jacki is suddenly only good for swimsuits; Ronnie's too good-looking; frankie's stiff; Casey and Ben have improved. Everybody busts on Katy, and they even let the other models jump her ass -- Casey is only too happy to call her out. This is really an evil week -- Katy's back in the bottom three, but this time Ronnie and frankie are with her. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
It's morning in the model house, and Jay and Casey are getting ready to go and face the music, along with Katy, on the catwalk. "Are you ready?" Jay whispers to Casey, who confirms that he is ready, before...rolling off his bed, where he has been sleeping in a pile of chips. I'm sorry, did I say something funny? He was asleep on busted-up bag of tortilla chips, yes, and also wearing a cutoff t-shirt, presumably to compensate for the rapid expansion of his chip-filled gut. In the girls' room, Katy postulates to Stephanie that maybe she will come back with Jay, since she and Jay have both proven themselves save-worthy before, and Casey is new to the block. Stephanie mumbles that, like, Casey hasn't, like, differentiated yet himself from, like, Perry? Not true, unless she means that they're equal on the propensity-to-be-an-ass scale, and if that's the case, there are several people in the house who remain undifferentiated.
Downstairs, much hugging and "no, you're coming back" goes on. Jay tells Stephanie he'll miss her, which is so sweet, and...such foreshadowing, because Jay's going home. But not before the Panel of Extreme Dramaticism where Niki slowly and without emotion reminds the three of them how disappointed the panel has been in them. Katy and Casey are safe, and Jay is sent packing. Unlike his predecessors, he manages to exit gracefully, thanking them for the opportunity. The panelists arrange their faces in what appear to be looks of genuine bittersweetness, but say they feel like America has made the right decision.
Meanwhile, the Bitches Council goes on back at the house during the ever-interesting debate over who will come home. Why they think it would not be Jay, I don't know. No one seems willing to badmouth him, possibly because he's the only nice person any of them has ever met? Stephanie says that Casey has a beautiful face, but hasn't been working very hard on his body and it's beginning to show. "He's getting a belly," she says, causing the guys to go into defense mode and begin ripping on Katy and her eating habits. Ronnie says that Katy eats non-stop, and that when she's not eating, she's sleeping. Ugh, whatever. They show Holly kind of giggling at this, and I hope that's just bad editing. frankie -- sort of subdued, for once -- says that Katy doesn't seem to be embracing this opportunity. At which point Katy walks in the door. "All we heard was Katy's voice," Ben says in an interview, with a look on his face like he's smelled something horrible. "I think the general feeling in that room was disbelief." Ugh. Disbelief like they feel when you talk about how you don't want to have sex with Ronnie? OH, YEAH, I SAID IT. Time for the gloves to come off on all this jackassery. I think most of these kids have forgotten that (a) they're on TV; and especially (b) they are not yet supermodels and most likely never will be, but that even if they should succeed in this alleged "profession," it will be due to the arbitrary whims of others and the quality of the cocaine they sniff in order to stay awake.
Casey comes in, to much fanfare, and says in an interview with, really, the most pitiful abused-puppy look on his face that when everyone yelled out his name he felt "so welcome" like this was his family. Remember when Casey said he lived for a time out of his guitar case? I just remembered that and laughed anew. I wouldn't be nineteen again for love nor money -- it is too embarrassing.