By Couch Baron
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.It's Christmas Time in New York, but belts are tight at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. It's good news when Santa Claus drops by in the form of a sobered up Freddy Rumsen and he has an early present for the gents: It's the $2 million Ponds Cold Cream account. One caveat? Freddy makes it clear that Pete Campbell is not allowed anywhere near the account. Why? Because Pete is a squeaky weasel chew toy who is easily tossed aside by the big dogs. Also, no one really likes him. Freddy's working a 12 Step program, but it's his old-fashioned ideas that are the real wrench in the works at the office, especially in his relationship with Peggy. She calls him out for pitching an ad based on the idea that you will be a frigid old maid unless you use Ponds Cold Cream. They make up, but there are clearly going to be bumps in their working relationship.
Sally Draper gets a new frenemy in the form of Glenn, the creepy son of Ossining's sole single mother. The burgeoning sociopath breaks into Sally's house and eggs it from the inside. Just another latchkey kid proving the stereotypes about the spawn of divorced parents! He leaves Sally a little mash note in the form of not dumping pudding on her bed. Love!
There's not enough money rolling in to the agency, so at Lane's insistence, the Christmas party was supposed to be gin and Velveeta. But, since Lucky Strike makes up 69% of the firm's profits, when the head of the company wrangles an invite to the office party, the party must go on. Roger says the word: They have to up the party from "convalescent home" to "Roman orgy" in just a few hours. Luckily, Joan is all over it. She fakes some employees, rounds up the chafing dishes, and gets the liquor flowing. It's all gifts, girls, and games by the time Lucky Strike Lee shows up. Things get all kinds of awkward when Lee forces Roger to dress up like Santa Claus. They proceed in that vein until everyone passes out and/or heads home.
Focus groups are coming into fashion and our Mad Men get forced into serving up some demographic info. Except Don, of course, who exits stage left at the first mention of daddy issues. The lovely lady leading the survey doesn't appreciate the creative shaman of the agency walking out on her presentation. She confronts Don at the Christmas party, and rubs him all kinds of the wrong way.
Nurse Phoebe (a.k.a. shot-in-the-head Dr. Reed from Grey's Anatomy) is an adorably dimpled nurse who lives down the hall from Dapper Don. He just happens to fall drunkenly into bed the moment he sees her. Actually, Don is drunkenly falling all over the place this time of year. After the Christmas party, he leaves his house keys at the office and his secretary finds him passed out in his hallway. Even in his drunken stupor, the girl is powerless to resist his advances. He doesn't even have the decency to pass out afterwards. She leaves him smoking on the couch and heads back to the party. The day it is Don is distant. It is unclear whether he is playing it cool at the office or whether he was so blotto that he doesn't even remember schtupping the secretary. It's all part of the Don Draper charm. Merry Christmas everyone!
Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates would slap Don Draper silly if he asked her. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Belatedly: It's back! Thanks to Joe R for taking the premiere episode while I was on vacation. Let's get to it, but not before I say an official goodbye to Bryan Batt and Michael Gladis -- I'll miss Sal and Paul. Of course, if Freddy Rumsen can make a comeback, anything's possible.
As the episode title may have hinted, it's Christmastime, and Henry and his new family are checking out the trees at the local pine-mart, with some idyllic snow floating lazily down to earth. It may look nice, but the PA responsible probably had a heart attack trying to get the stuff to look just right. Anyway, the family seems to be having a nice time, what with the absence of disapproving relatives and the promise of rather motivated present-giving this season, but as they start to head off to look at a tree that won't leave marks on their ceiling, a horrible troll pops out from the greenery and accosts the lagging Sally -- oh, wait, that's just a newly-pubescent Glen Bishop. You can forgive my mistake -- they're about equally scary. When Glen offers his name and Sally tells him she knows, Glen points out that they walked right by him when they came in, and rather than launch into a discussion that might reveal severely inappropriate declarations of love and gifts of flaxen hair, Sally simply shrugs and awkwardly apologizes. If she can be dragged into WASP-y stoicism, no one is safe. Glen tells Sally that Helen (his mom, you'll remember) got remarried, and then adds that he saw her new dad. "My mom said that would happen." I'd laugh, but this line's going to pale in comparison to one a bit later. Glen goes on to guess that Henry and Betty will probably have a baby together at some point, and counsels Sally to ask for something big now; Bobby then reappears and asks if Glen is getting a tree. Glen testily replies that he's working there cutting twine, showing them his lanyard, and Bobby's impressed, but not enough to hang out any longer. Which is too bad, because I'd love to see the awkward scene that would ensue if Betty came to find out what's keeping her kids. Bobby leads Sally away, but not before Glen tells her he might call her. Isn't she a little young for you, Glen?