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While watching an episode entitled "The Last Recruit," it was hard not to spend all my time guessing who that last recruit would be. Luckily, I've watched a lot of TV, so I got through the guesswork pretty quickly.
Sideways: Desmond is on his way to see his lawyer, Ilana Verdansky (or some name ending in "sky" that isn't Radzinsky) when he runs into Claire, who's on her way to an adoption agency in the same building. He talks Claire into seeing his lawyer first, to protect her rights. Amazingly enough, Ilana has been looking for a Claire Littleton from Australia. She's been looking for her, because here come Dr. Jack and his young son David Shephard (with whom he enjoys a comfortable relationship), for the reading of Dr. Christian Shephard's last will and testament, in which Claire Littleton is named. There's an awkward, I'm your illegitimate sister moment, but it's interrupted when Jack is paged to the hospital for some emergency surgery.
At St. Sebastian's, Gunshot Sun and run-over Locke are wheeled in side by side. When she gets a gander at Locke's face, poor Korean-only Sun can only ramble to Jin, but it seems pretty certain that she's had the same sort of near-death experience of the other reality as both Desmond and Charlie. When Jack enters the O.R., he recognizes his patient -- Locke (whose dural sac was obliterated in his injury).
Cop Shop: Detective James Ford questions Kate, who claims she didn't commit the murder for which she's wanted. Even in the Sideways, Kate has James' number. She figures out he didn't arrest her at the airport because he didn't want anyone to know he'd been to Australia. Ford likes her spunk, but their conversation is cut short when his partner, Miles Straume, pulls him in to investigate a multiple shooting at a restaurant. In addition to the female gunshot victim (Sun), someone has killed a bunch of crooks, including Keamy. Video surveillance tape reveals Sayid's face.
Omer Jarrah's House: Sayid is packing up to leave when Nadia returns. Before he can tell her too much, someone arrives at the door. Sayid tells her to stall their caller, but she only manages to do so for a moment. It's Miles Straume. When he enters, he sees Sayid's suitcase lying out on the table, but Sayid is gone. Fortunately, Sawyer nabs him, out in the back yard.
Islandways: With Hurley's okay, Jack agrees to talk to Faucke alone. Mostly, Faucke fills Jack's head full of doubts, but he also admits to wearing Christian Shephard's meatsuit, and he introduces Jack to his sister. Once they're alone, Claire talks about Faucke appearing as Christian, and how she trusts him, because he's the only one who didn't abandon her. Yeoowch. She also informs Jack that since he let Faucke talk to him, he's now on Team Faucke, no matter what he thinks.
Subsequent reunions are put off when Zoe and the Widmorons arrive in camp, demanding the return of Widmore's package (Des). Faucke never lets on like he knows what they're talking about, so none of the Losties figure out he's holding Des. After Zoe is gone, Faucke dispatches Kate and Sawyer to pick up a boat a ways off, and bring it to a meeting spot from which the whole damn family will sail over to Hydra.
Sawyer gets Jack alone and tells him about Widmore, his sub, and a change in plans. At the first opportunity, Jack should break free from the Fauckers, and bring Sun, Hurley and Frank with him. He can meet up with Sawyer, Kate, and the boat they plan to take to Hydra Island and to Widmore's sub. Jack asks about including Sayid and Claire, but Sawyer says Sayid is a zombie and Claire tried to kill Kate, so their tickets to ride are revoked.
As the Fauckers take off, Faucke tells Sayid to double back and kill Desmond. Sayid's just fine with the doubling back portion of the program, but once he reaches the well, Desmond tries to get to him by asking Sayid what Faucke promised him. When he learns it's a dead woman, he asks Sayid why he'd ever believe Faucke. Sayid says it's because Faucke is the one who brought him back to life. When Sayid takes too long to catch up with the Fauckers, Faucke orders his troops to keep going and goes back to get his zombie. Jack takes this opportunity to lead Sun, Frank and Hurley to Sawyer, Kate and the sailboat. Meanwhile, Faucke meets up with Sayid, who assures Faucke he killed Des, he’s just a little tardy because he needed some personal time after killing an unarmed man. That’s not very zombie-like of him. He offers to show Faucke the corpse, but Faucke believes Sayid, or acts like he does. I don’t believe Sayid at all. Shhhh, don’t burst my hope bubble.
We never saw Desmond die, so I'm assuming he got through to Sayid. But Sawyer, it seems, has had less luck with Jack. Once they get to the sailboat, a lurking Claire reveals herself, and Kate says she'll only leave if Claire goes with. When the bulk of passengers retreat to the galley for something to eat, Sawyer hands Kate the wheel and goes to talk to Jack. Jack thinks they're making a mistake. James doesn't want to hear it and orders Jack off his boat. Jack swims ashore only to meet up with Locke.
Meanwhile, Sawyer and crew arrive at Hydra Island. Jin and Sun are reunited -- finally! She also regains her ability to speak English. Soon though, Zoe and the Widmorons arrive and surround them. Sawyer and his people drop their weapons. Zoe talks to Chuckles on the hand-held and then orders Sawyer, et al to their knees. When Sawyer points out that he and Charles had a deal, Zoe says the deal is off.
Before Jack and Faucke get to debrief one another (dirty!), they're fired upon. Faucke carries a stunned Jack to safety and assures him everything will be okay. "You're with me, now." Oh noooooooooooooooo. Jack! DUN. Bad Robot.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We're getting so near the end, I feel like I should have some zippy opener, but... we're getting so near the end, you know? I have three brain cells left. I can't wait for the end of this show that I never want to end. You feel me, yes? All right, then let's skip the Previouslies and get right to it. You ready? Okay.
Islandways; Camp Faucke; Night: We pick up right where we left off in "Everybody Loves Hugo" with everybody just loving Hugo, particularly Faucke, who is delighted that Jacob's right-hand man and mouthpiece has led the Jacobites (and Frank) into his clutches. Faucke addresses Jack directly and asks to speak to him alone. Don't do it, Jack. Don't do it. Watch Jack carefully here, and remember that there are rules to this game. Jack doesn't speak to Faucke, he doesn't even look at him head-on. Instead, he walks up to Hurley and asks his permission to talk to Faucke. Hurley: "It's all you, dude." Rifle in hand, Jack nods at Faucke. "All right, let's catch up." His The last time I saw you, I was putting my dead father's shoes on your equally dead corpse remains unspoken.
Once they're alone, Jack notes that his companion looks just like him, i.e. John Locke. Faucke asks if that bothers him. Jack says what's actually bothering him is that he has no idea what Faucke is. Faucke's all sure you do, and that's that. Jack: "Why John Locke?" A good question, considering all the far more handsome (far less moobalicious) men on this island. If I had to be a boy on that island, I think I'd be Jin. Daniel Dae Kim's bone structure is to die for.
Anyhow, Faucke explains what we've known for ages. Stupid Locke (who stupidly thought that all these stupid people wearing expensive clothes were brought to this stupid island for some stupid reason) stupidly pursued his stupid belief until it got him killed, and Jack was stupid kind enough to bring back the body, "in a nice wooden box." Looks like Faucke is all for the timber. (Buffy fans represent!)
Jack catches on quickly and asks Faucke who else he's "looked like." Faucke tells him to ask what he really wants to ask, so Jack asks if it was Faucke who appeared as his dead father, way back in season 1's "White Rabbit." Faucke confirms this. When Jack wants to know why, Faucke says that Jack needed to find water and that all he's ever been interested in is helping him, and more specifically, helping him to leave. "But because Jacob chose you, you were trapped on this island, before you even got here. Now Jacob's dead. [...] We can get on an airplane and fly away anytime we want to [...]" but, "it has to be all of us."
Jack, who doesn't know what to make of that, points out that Locke was the only one who ever believed in the island; Locke was the only one who wanted them to stay. Faucke: "John Locke was not a believer, Jack. He was a sucker." I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Locke's alive someplace, right, so I'll just point you here, here, here, here, and here and let you make up your own minds.
Sideways: Prof. Benjamin Linus rides along in the ambulance that's rushing substitute teacher John Locke to the hospital, after his encounter with Desmond Ex Machina. Ben gives the EMTs what little he knows about Locke (paralysis), which is so little, it doesn't even include his first name, never mind contact information. During the course of conversation, the EMT says that Locke's wheelchair probably saved his life. Huh. He also says it was destroyed, which... wasn't it standing in the parking lot? Whatever. Finally, Locke mumbles Helen's name. "Helen Norwood. I was -- gonna marry her." Was gonna? Looks like someone's had his other life flash before his eyes. Ben doesn't realize the significance, so he just says, "You're still going to marry her because you're going to be okay, Mr. Locke." Locke: "John. My name is John." Assuming Locke has now seen the future, can you imagine what he must be thinking as he watches his own killer care for him?
At St. Sebastian's (the only hospital in Sideways L.A.) Sun and Locke's stretchers are wheeled in side by side. Now, some fans are calling this a continuity error (because Sun was wounded long before Des mowed down Locke), but I think it's more proof that the Island reality is bleeding into the sideways, and vice versa. When something significant happens in one reality (one of those "whatever happened happens" happenings), it affects the other reality.
Poor little "No English" Sun. She's in a foreign country. Her father has taken all her money, and had her boyfriend kidnapped by crazy Keamy. She got shot in her pregnant belly by Patchy, and she's here at this foreign hospital with her battered boyfriend who doesn't speak any English, either. Jin can only yell "Baby," at the EMTs. And if all that isn't scary enough, it's clear Sun's other life has flashed before her eyes, because when she gets a look at the guy on the stretcher to her (Locke), she starts yelling (in Korean). "No. No. It's him. It's him. It's him!" As the camera closes in on Locke, he slips from consciousness, which is probably for the best.
Islandways: As he leads Jack back to camp, Faucke stops once he realizes Claire's trailing them. He calls her out and she nods toward Jack as she explains that she's been following them, because: "He's my brother." Faucke leaves the siblings to their catching up. There's no hugging here, which I suppose can be mostly explained away by the fact that Jack is carrying a torch for Kate, but really, there's still a great divide between Christian Shephard's spawn. Jack tries to apologize for leaving her behind, but Claire interrupts to make sure he knows Faucke's the one who was pretending to be their father. She tells Jack she gave up hoping anyone would return, but now that he's there, she's glad he's on Team Faucke. Jack says he hasn't signed with any team, yet. Maybe he's leaving the negotiations to Scott Boras. If so, I'm surprised he's available, since the island cork is still stopping up Hell's wine bottle, and all. More seriously, Claire says the ink is already dry. Jack's with "him" now. He "decided" the moment he let Faucke talk to him, "just like the rest of us." Title Card.
Sidebar: During the break, think back to Jack's behavior in the opening scene -- up until he got Hurley's permission for a Faucke-talk. It was almost like a part of Jack intuited this no-talky rule. We've heard it before, from both sides. Yoko told Sayid not to let Faucke talk to him, and Faucke told Richard not to let Jacob talk to him. Nobody warned Jack, and nobody gave him a dagger to plunge into Faucke's heart, so now I'm that kid frigging up the kick-ball game, because someone overlooked some opaque point of order, aren't I? Anyhow, the break is over now, so...
Camp Faucke; Morning: Kate chats with (or to) Sun, while Sawyer gives the Hurley the lowdown. Widmore's on Hydra Island. He's got a submarine. Sawyer plans to use it to get off "this rock." Hurley: "What about Sayid?" Sawyer: "Sayid ain't invited. He's gone over to the dark side." Hurley: "Yeah, but you can always bring people back from the dark side. I mean -- Anakin..." Sawyer: "Who the hell's Anakin?" Fandom: "Oh Sawyer, don't front. You're the one that brought in the Star Wars references.
Right after Sawyer warns Hurley to keep his mouth shut, Claire wanders up. Hurley's gag reflex is less reactive than mine, so he manages to chirp out a "You look... [...] ... [...] ...great," before hugging her. Back in L.A., his mother says, "'Ugo, wherever you are, don't lie." Just then, Faucke returns and addresses the Fauckers, telling them how swell it is to have the band back together. Jack takes all this in, as does Sawyer. Speaking of...
Sideways; Cop Shop: Detective James Ford, munching on an apple, struts to his desk, where Kate is being booked. Before sending the Uniform on his way, Jim offers her his pre-tasted forbidden fruit. "Want an apple?" Once they're alone, Ford flips through Katherine Anne Austen's file. She's wanted for arson, assault on a federal officer, and 1st degree murder. Ford thinks she's too purty to be a murderer (okay, it's not what he said, but it's what he meant). Kate: "That's because I'm not." Ford will be sure to mention that to the Feds when they get there. He wants to know if she remembers him from the airport. Doesn't she think it's weird that they met up in the LAX elevator like that, and then a week later... "Of all the cars in Los Angeles, you smash into mine." Kate, looking extra hot with her clean hair and black leather jacket, wants to know if he's hitting on her. Ford says it would never work, since he's a cop and she's a murderer. Kate protests -- she's not a murderer. And you know, call me a sucker, or call me John Locke, but in this reality, I kind of believe her.
Anyhow, Kate deftly turns the tables on Ford. She notes that he failed to arrest her at LAX, even though he saw her handcuffs. In this reality, James Ford is the worst liar in the world, but he gives it his best and insists he never saw the cuffs. His wide eyes are totally his tell and... OMG, I need a sidebar.
Sidebar: Is it just me, or is there something about Ford here, that makes him look like John Locke? Don't believe me --- okay. Picture Locke with shaggy hair. Picture Ford (as he looks here) with none. Is it the eyes, or what? Don't tell me I'm the only one.
ANYhow, Kate is apparently psycho psychic in this reality, because she tells Ford that, in her opinion, he let her go at LAX, because he didn't want anyone to know that he'd been in Australia. "Should I tell that to the Feds, when they get here?" Ford, who should never, ever play poker, ages ten years in two seconds. However, he manages not to choke on the apple that HE'S STILL CHEWING, as he says, "Oh, I like you." Oh baby, you always have, and she's always liked you back, except for when she hated your guts.
Just then, they're interrupted by Jim's partner, Detective Miles Straume, who pulls Ford in to investigate a multiple shooting at a restaurant. In addition to the female gunshot victim (Sun), someone has killed a bunch of crooks, including Keamy. Video surveillance tape reveals Sayid's face. James: "Put a name to that face. That's our bad guy." You don't know the half of it, boys.
Sideways; Camp Faucke: Jack sits alone, observing Shell of Sayid. When Kate joins him, she says, "He's different now." [He has a soul, now? Sorry. That's a bit of a tic. Clearly Shell of Sayid is not with the soulage. Sorry to interrupt. --Buffy.] Jack guesses they're all different, but Kate has no desire to wax philosophical. Instead, she asks Jack what Locke said to him. Jack: "He said that he wants to leave, and we all have to go together." Kate wants to know if Jack believes Faucke. Jack's not sure yet. Their conversation is cut short when an interloper enters the camp. It's Zoe. Any chance she's young David Shephard's mother in the other reality? Ben's Annie? Zach and Emma's mom? (I don't see the kids and Cindy in this scene, but you people still haven't sent me an HDTV set, so who am I to judge?) Is there any chance she's here for any reason about which I could possibly care? Please, Show. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Don't let me down.
Zoe demands to see the man in black charge. Since that's Faucke, she tells him that he took something (i.e. Des) from Team Widmore, and (in a lovely parallel to Faucke's edict at the Temple) he has until nightfall to return it. To seal the deal, Zoe asks whoever is on the end of her walkie-talkie if he has her position. Since he does, Zoe says: "Show them what we're capable of." There's a whistling sound overhead, followed by loud explosions on the edge of Camp Faucke. She hands Faucke the walkie and walks off. Fauke, the uber-luddite handles the gadget like you might handle a Medusa Spider, and lets it drop to the ground. Once it's down, he smashes it with his walking stick. That's it. We'll kill Faucke with a hand-buzzer thinggum! He'll never see it coming. Shhh. Don't let him know. Right now, he's rallying his Fauckers. "Well, here we go." Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go -- again.
Sideways; Day: Claire enters a big L.A. building, asks security about the location (15th floor) of an adoption agency, and signs in at the desk. And who should find her there but stalker special snowflake extraordinaire, Desmond Hume. They remember one another from LAX and before Claire heads off, she makes sure to tell Des he was right. "It's a boy." As they board the escalator, Des can't help but get personal. He noticed Claire came to visit an adoption agency. He's going to see a lawyer right now -- a lawyer who owes him a favor -- and he really thinks Claire should see her. "Adoption contracts are complicated; and, you should be careful because you could find yourself in a situation that's irreversible." Since she's too dumb to live, Claire gets in the elevator with her stalker and agrees to meet with his solicitor. Hats off to Henry Ian Cusick, here. He takes an extremely creepy and contrived narrative, infuses it with warmth and charm, bastes it with his lovely burr, seasons it with savoir-faire and serves up a Desmond who you might listen to, even if you aren't in the running for a Darwin Award. "Look, I promise you it won't cost you a cent. Please. It'd be my absolute pleasure." Wibble.
Sidebar: Okay, so there's magical science going on. I get that. I accept it. I love it, even. But even though Desmond knows both realities, his story tonight is just a little too too, isn't it? Read on. You'll see what I mean.
Law Office: Desmond's attorney is an American-accented Ilana -- Ilana Verdansky, or some other sky that isn't Radzinsky. She greets him with a hug and a kiss, 'cause hey, wouldn't you? When Des introduces Claire, Ilana cuts him short. She's been looking for a Claire Littleton from Australia. What are the odds? With Desmond's leave, Ilana invites Claire into her office for a private confab.
Islandways: As Faucke calls the Fauckers to attention, Claire asks Hurley what's up. Hurley: "People are trying to kill us again." Heh. That's the whole damned show, isn't it? Forget I said that. I don't want you all engaging in self-harm. Anyhow, Locke says, "All this is happening a bit sooner than I'd expected, but these people have forced our hand, claiming we stole something from them, trying to provoke us into a confrontation. Well, if that's what they want, that's what they'll get. Gather your things, we're going to the other island and we're getting on that plane." A beat. "James, I need your help with something." With only Kate listening in, Faucke tells Sawyer that there's a boat moored a few hours down shore. "I want you to get it and meet the rest of us on the other side of these bluffs." He then shows Sawyer a map. "We'll all sail over to the other island together." Sawyer wants to know why they're not doing everything together. Faucke says big groups move too slowly. Sawyer accepts this, but says he needs another pair of hands. When Faucke tells him to take whoever he wants, Sawyer says, "How about it, Freckles? Know anything about sailing?" Excuse me Sawyer, but she spent two summers crewing J-boats, whatever those are. Kate's more modest, these days. "I know enough." Faucke is pleased. He'll be waiting on them. He then summons Shell of Sayid for a private discussion (as Jack looks on).
Sawyer pulls Jack aside and explains he has no bloody intention of meeting the Fauckers at their pick-up point. "I got a deal with Widmore. [...] First chance you get, double back, hoof it to this spot." He shows Jack his hand-drawn map. "There's an old dock. Grab Hugo, Sun and Lapidus. Kate and I will meet you there." Jack asks: "What about Sayid and Claire?" Sawyer says that Shell of Sayid's a zombie and Claire's nuts. "She gave up her ticket when she tried to kill Kate. And I ain't gonna let that happen again. That's Hugo, Sun, the pilot. Only them. Understand?" Jack has no problem with leaving his illegitimate baby sister behind. "How am I supposed to get us away from -- from Locke?" Sawyer hands the map to Jack and tells him to figure it out. When Kate asks Sawyer what that was all about, Sawyer says, "Guy talk."
Meanwhile, Faucke tells Shell of Sayid to go kill Desmond. "That's not gonna be a problem, is it, Sayid? You do still want what you asked me for, right?" Shell of Sayid: "Yes, I do." Faucke: "Then go do what I said." Don't you dare do it, Shell of Sayid. If you harm one hair on the special snowflake's head, I'll jump through my TV screen and beat you to death with a cast iron skillet, leaving only a puddle of pretty (albeit, blood-soaked) curls where your shell used to be.
Gun in hand, Sayid approaches the well of souls Scots. When he reaches it, he sits on the edge, cocks his gun and points it at Desmond, who is sitting in a small pool of water, at the bottom. I'd like to call shenanigans, because this well is not nearly as deep as it looked last week, but I'm glad for Desmond's sake, so I'll let it go. Desmond addresses Shell of Sayid. "So what did he offer ya?" When Sayid doesn't answer, Des adds: "If y'gonna shoot me in cold blood, brothah, I think I have a right to know what you're getting in exchange for it." Shell of Sayid says he was promised something he lost -- the woman he loves -- who is currently dead. I know the Sideways arc rules this out, but wouldn't it be a hoot if Faucke gave him Shannon? Sayid did say he loved her, once upon a time. Anyhow, Desmond asks, "And what makes y'think Locke can bring her back?" Sayid: "I died...and he brought me back." Good point. Desmond's less impressed though. He wants to know what Sayid will tell her. "This woman -- when she asks you what you did to be with her again, what will y'tell her?" Better point.
Sideways; Omer Jarrah's House: Sayid is packing up to leave when Nadia returns. Before he can tell her too much, someone arrives at the door. Sayid tells her to stall their caller, but she only manages to do so for a moment. It's Detective Miles Straume of the LAPD. How did they find Sayid's name and location so quickly? Whatever. When Miles enters, he sees Sayid's suitcase lying out on the table, but Sayid is gone. Fortunately, Detective James Ford nabs Sayid out in the backyard, using the latest in suspect apprehension techniques. He trips him up with a garden hose. For a minute, I'm afraid Sayid will kill Ford, but then I remember that in this reality, he's not merely a Shell. [It IS different. He DOES HAVE a soul, now. -- Buffy]. Sorry about that. I'll tell her it's time to patrol.
Islandways: Kate and Sawyer exit the jungle. From the beach, they can see a sailboat (the Elizabeth) moored just off shore. Sawyer: "You ready to get wet?" Kate ignores that and asks if it's such a good idea to go back and get Locke. Sawyer says of course it isn't. "It's a terrible idea, which is why we ain't doing it. [...] We're gonna ditch Locke. You, me Jack, Hurley, Sun and that pilot that looks like he's stepped off the set of a Burt Reynolds movie." Ha! He totally does. Kate asks when Sawyer was planning on telling her all of this. EVERYONE: "Now." Then she notices he didn't include Claire in his list. Sawyer says she's not coming. "The Claire you came back for is gone." Kate doesn't care. She promised she'd bring Claire back. Sawyer: "That was before she started drinking Locke's Kool-Aid. She's dangerous. You really want her around Aaron?" Everyone pushes Kate's Aaron-button, but I don't think they understand it's Aaron that is motivating her to do right by Claire. At any rate, there's not much time, so they swim for the boat.
Jungle; The Fauckers: Jack talks to his sister, and when he finds out she's been with Faucke ever since the Oceanic 6 left, he asks why she trusts him. Claire: "'Cause he's the only one that didn't abandon me." Yeeowch.
Sidebar: My heart bleeds for Claire, truly, but I'm getting tired of that line. She's the one who walked away from them. There were Commandos coming to blow up the island -- or so everyone thought. There was no time and no way to get her. If this was The Vampire Diaries, someone would have set her straight, the first time she pulled that crap. Laugh if you want, but that show is a rocking antidote to Lost. Big things happen, every week. Questions are answered while they're still pertinent. Mysteries are revealed while you still remember what they are. And the characters -- they actually share information in their conversations, unless they're purposefully lying. Seriously, if you're not already watching, check out the reruns, this summer. Not that I don't love Lost. I do, but it's easier to love, now that I have The Vampire Diaries to fulfill my... baser needs. What, you want to talk Lost? Oh, all right.
So yeah, Faucke's the "only one" who never "abandoned" Claire. Except for now. Okay, he's not really abandoning her, but he is looking for Shell of Sayid. He asks Sun if she's seen him, but since she can't speak English, she doesn't answer. Faucke: "Oh, the silent treatment." Sun takes out her notepad that doesn't have the V promo blocking every page, and writes: "You did this to me." Faucke is quite sure he didn't do anything to her (and I'm starting to believe that), but realizes this conversation is going nowhere, so he approaches Cindy, and tells her to keep everyone moving to the beach. He'll catch up with them, there. Cindy asks where he's going. Faucke: "I wanna make sure nobody got left behind." You want to make sure you have all your ingredients for your magical escape potion.
After Faucke takes off Jack taps Hurley, Sun and Frank to leave with him, telling them there's no time to explain, they just have to go. Hurley thinks they should stick with Sawyer's plan, "Or he'll be really pissed." Heh. Jack: "This is Sawyer's plan. Let's go!" Claire watches them from a distance, looking nearly as evil as her friend.
Faucke catches up with Shell of Sayid who seems different. (Don't worry, Buffy's gone.) He asks where he's been and what took him so long. Shell of Sayid says he was simply doing what he asked, but, "I just shot an unarmed man. I needed a moment." Since when? Faucke : "Did you kill him, Sayid?" Sayid says of course he did. And then he turns to me and whispers that he's no longer a mere shell, before smiling at Faucke. "Go and check, if you like." There's light in his eyes, a soft lilt to his voice. Anakin Sayid is BACK, but if Faucke knows, he doesn't let on. "Come on, we have a boat to catch." Sayid waits a moment, making me think he's going to run, but eventually, he follows Faucke, which is a good idea, since you can't really outrun a Smoke Monster, even if you're Sayid Jarrah, action hero.
Jacobites: Frank agrees with me and says he hopes Jack knows where he's going, "Because that smoke thing runs a hell of a lot faster than we do." Word, Frank. Why, I bet he runs faster than Burt Reynolds in The Longest Yard. At first, Jack can't see the dock through the trees, but finally, Hurley spots it, and the Elizabeth. The Jacobites join Kate and Sawyer onboard. Frank asks if they're sailing the boat back home, but Sawyer explains that it won't work without a bearing. "For three years, the only way DHARMA folk ever got on or off this island was by sub, so that's what we're doin'." He then addresses Jack: "Nice job, Doc." Jack faints, falls into the water, and drowns. Okay, not really. Before the crew can set sail, an armed Claire appears at the tree line, rifle at the ready. When she wants to know where they're going, Kate explains that they're leaving the island. Claire thinks it's funny they're not waiting for "John." Kate explains that's because whoever he is, he's not John. I think everyone knows that Kate. Then she dangles the carrot: "Come with us. I can get you back to Aaron." Sawyer swears, but Kate tells him to shut up. "She is coming or I am not." A beat. "Come with us, Claire." Claire hesitates, and starts to explain that John promised to get her back to Aaron, but Kate cuts her off. "No. I'm promising you. I was there when he was born, and I never should have raised him. It should have been you. I came back to get you, so you can be with him again. It's the only reason I came back to the island, Claire. So please come with us. Let's go home." Nicely done, Freckles. Kate relieves Claire of her weapon -- and maybe of her fight, yeah? But Claire does caution: "He finds out where gone? He's gonna be mad." Yeah, but he can't kill all of you, Claire. Well, actually, maybe he can kill you. But there are rules and. Well, I'm sure everything's going to be fine, right? < /delusional>
Sideways: Dr. Jack Shephard and his son David enter the very same building where we last saw Claire and Desmond, but don't call Ripley's just yet. Jack's on the phone with David's Mystery Mom, and when he promises to have him home around 5:00 PM, David shakes him off. Jack smiles and tells Mystery Mom that they'll probably grab a bite to eat, after, so maybe it'll be more like 7:00. Then Jack prepares David for their meeting. They're off to hear the reading of Christian's will. Jack knows it's not the must fun outing ever, but says it won't take too long, and tells his boy that it's okay to be sad. David: "I'm sad for you, Dad." What a love. He's so Jack's Mini-Me, isn't he?
They enter the Sweetzer and Verdansky Law Firm. Point of interest: Desmond was going to meet Penny at a coffee shop on the corner of Melrose and Sweetzer. The Shephard men are greeted by Ilana who leads them to the conference room, chirping, "I've got a surprise for you. Do you believe in fate?" You can start dialing Ripley's, now. By the way, it's weird -- insensitive -- that Ilana is so chipper about this, right? I mean obviously, she was looking for Claire Littleton, because as we learned in this season's Jack-centric, Claire's in Christian's will. Ilana must know, by now, that Claire is Jack's half-sister, so shouldn't she be a bit more delicate -- a bit less gleeful? Jack is here, with his young son, for the reading of his father's will. This is (ostensibly), already a sad thing. Now he's about to find about that his late dad fathered a child on the other side of the world. Davy-wavy's about to find out that Grandpa Christian was a ho. Sure, eventually, having Claire in their lives (would, could) be a great thing, but it's going to hit hard, right in the gut, isn't it? Anyways...
Ilana makes the introductions. Jack is surprised that Ilana was able to find the mysterious Claire Littleton. Ilana says, "Actually, she found us." Actually, actually, your secret special snowflake arranged the whole thing, brothah. Jack isn't sure what to say. "Uh. You were in my father's will. Do you mind if I ask you how you knew him?" Claire: "I... he was my father too." Jack's all: "..." Before he can put on his gracious face, his phone rings. As he takes the call, he raises his free hand to his forehead, to keep his frontal lobe from busting out. Jack on the phone: "Yeah, this is Dr. Shephard..." His voice is strangled into a funny little laugh-cry. "No, no it's not a very good time... Yes, they can go ahead and prep him. I'm 20 minutes away." Once he's off the phone, he offers his apologies. There's been a Locke an emergency at the hospital and they'll have to reschedule. Wow, Jack. That must be the best timed emergency ever, at least from your Sideways point of view.
Sidebar: The Desmond-arranged meet-ups were, as I said earlier, a little too too for me, this week. That said, the parallels between Claire and Jack reuniting Islandways and meeting for the first time in the Sideways were elegant. Both encounters were emotionally unsatisfying -- as they should be. This is an awkward thing. Honestly, when I would imagine them finding one another, I assumed Island-Jack would be warmer toward Claire. He's known for three years that she's his sister, and because of her pregnancy, he and Claire got to know one another pretty well on the island. Even though the whole Claire/Aaron/Lie thing had a negative impact on his relationship with Kate during the Escape-away years, I expected a little more from them, once Faucke left the siblings to chat. But after seeing their Sideways introduction, it all made sense to me. It all felt right -- because to them, it felt so wrong. And in both cases, they can't yet truly bond, not while Faucke and Locke have dibs on the Jacks.
Islandways; The Elizabeth: Jack sits at the far end of the boat, staring at the sea. The wee Jacob who lives in my ashtray says: "Jack is here because he has to do something. He can't be told what that is. He's gotta find it, himself. Sometimes, you can just hop in someone's ashtray, and tell them what they're supposed to do. Other times, you have to let them look out at the ocean for a while."
Sawyer's at the helm, talking to Frank and Kate. Frank would like to know Sawyer's plan. "My plan, Chesty, is to land on Hydra Island, get ourselves nice and cuddly with Widmore -- until we get a chance to jump on that sub. Then, I'm gonna put a gun in someone's face and make 'em take us home." Frank's all for that. Now that he's done setting up Sawyer's exposition, he has cats he needs to herd off-screen, so we can be alone with the three sides of our triangle. Frank mentions the canned food down in the galley, and the deck clears.
Sawyer hands Kate the wheel and goes to talk to Jack. He says he didn't think he'd show up. "Taking orders ain't your strong suit. Nice to see you finally came around." Oh Sawyer, don't tempt fate like that. This may be new, improved, self-aware Jack, but he's still Just Jack. And after staring at the sea, Just Jack has decided that this doesn't feel right. Sawyer's all WHAT?!?, so Jack explains that leaving the island feels wrong. "I remember how I felt last time I left -- like a part of me was missing." Sawyer snarks: "They got pills for that, Doc." Um, please don't go there, Sawyer. Jack tried pills for three years. That way lies madness, badness and a beard so fug that in comparison, it makes Feral Claire's hair look like she spent three year marooned with Vidal Sassoon.
Oh crap, it's too late. Jack: "We were brought here because we're supposed to do something, James. And if Locke -- that thing -- wants us to leave, maybe it's afraid of what happens if we stay." Sawyer minces no words. "Get off my damn boat." Jack: "???" Sawyer: "You got a decision to make and you make it now. Either you're with us -- you keep that damn crazy talk to yourself -- or you're going in the water." Ay, matey, y'shoulda told him you'd make him walk the plank. Jack, calling Sawyer "James" tells him this is all a mistake and that part of James must know that, too. "The island isn't done with us, yet." Yeah, well, Sawyer's way done with the island. "If you want to take a leap of faith, Jack, then take it. Get off my damn boat." Kate, at the other end of the craft, mustn't hear her boys, or she'd be between them, by now. Jack looks back at he, then tells Sawyer, "I'm sorry that I got Juliet killed." And then? Standing straight as a stick, he jumps into the water -- fully dressed in his shirt, jeans, and hiking boots. He's even got his backpack on. You're gonna die, brothah. Wee Jacob tells me not to worry. It only ends once everything else is just progress. As Jack swims off, Kate sees him in the water and starts to turn back to get him. Sawyer stops her and when she wants an explanation of what happened, he simply says, "He changed his mind. [...] He ain't coming with us." Because one of the things Kate does when running, is turning back to grab those over whom she has trampled, she insists on going back to get Jack. Sawyer, who has set the boat back on its Hydra-course tells her, "We're done going back, Kate."
Sideways; Sun's Hospital Room: Sleeping in the chair to her bed, Jin keeps hold of Sun's hand. When she wakes, she rouses him and asks what happened. Jin explains she was shot but will be okay. Sun wants to know about the baby. Jin tells her the baby is fine, and they're all going to be okay. Oh Jin, please don't tempt fate like that. You're making me cry. Sun's crying too, but with joy, not fear.
Just then Jack and David Shephard pass by Sun's room. David can't believe that Jack's had a sister all these years and never knew about her. Jack tells the boy that his grandpa kept a lot of things to himself. David: "Is that where you get it from?" Jack laughs. "Yeah... probably." He's got to get to surgery now though, and asks David if he'll be all right hanging around. David smiles at his father. "Yeah, sure." A beat. "Good luck, Dad." Oh my word, he's going to evaporate, isn't he? Please, tell me I'm wrong. I love this kid, no matter who his mother is. (It's gotta be Juliet, right? No. Sarah. Arggggh!)
As Jack scrubs for surgery, he consults with another doctor. She tells him that Locke was hit by a car, but the kicker is, he was already in a wheelchair due to a pre-existing condition. As Jack looks at Locke's records he realizes Locke's dural sac is obliterated. The other doctor notes they're in over their heads, which is why they called Jack.
In the O.R., Jack gets ready to cut. Locke is, of course, face down, because he's having an operation on his spine. Ask Jack asks for the scalpel, he catches a glimpse of Locke's face in the mirror beneath the operating table and freezes. The other doctor asks what's up. Jack says, "I think I know this guy." Oh, yes you do, and not just from lost baggage claim, either. But whatever. Count to five, and let's get this show on the road, and Locke on his feet.
Islandways: Exhausted, Jack swims to shore and falls on his hands and knees as he catches his breath. When he looks up, he sees Faucke and the Fauckers. Faucke says, "Sawyer took my boat, didn't he?" Yeah, Faucke. Like Anakin. Or something.
Hydra Island: Sawyer, Kate, Frank, Claire, Hurley and Sun swim to shore. Sawyer tells them to stay close. They're not going to have much time before Faucke realizes he's been duped. It's then the Widmorons emerge from the jungle, guns locked and loaded. They order the Losties to put up their hands and drop their weapons, which is all out of order, isn't it? Sawyer tries to calm them down, and Zoe says it's all right, she knows them, but she still wants them to drop their weapons, and asks who else is with them. Sawyer tells her no one is, so she gives the order through the walkie-talkie to turn off the fences. Just then, Jin appears at the beach. He and Sun FINALLY SEE EACH OTHER. Oh no, they're running. They're running toward each other. They're running toward each other from opposite sides of the pylons. What the frick? I hope that moron on the other end of Zoe's walkie turned off the fences immediately, but what if he wasn't by the switch. If Sun and Jin get electrocuted trying to run into each others arms, I will blow up the island myself. WTF. Stop running. Stop running. Oh no. Here it comes. Close your eyes.
Hey. They're still alive. They're alive and hugging. Hug you crazy kids, hug. They're crying. They're saying "I love you." They're... they're talking to each other in English? Really? I mean, I suspect this was a gesture toward the audience. We've waited so long for this, it's only right we get to hear and understand their reunion and not be distracted from the looks on their beautiful faces because we have to read subtitles, but still. That would never happen. Anyhow the rest of the Losties are deeply affected by this touching scene. Frank remarks that Sun got her voice back. (I wonder if she'll suddenly know English in the Sideways). And then Jin tells Sun, "We'll never be apart again. I promise you." This hits Kate and Sawyer particularly hard. But I think it's Juliet that Sawyer is thinking of. Regardless, all I can think is: please, please, please let Jin be more of a prophet and less of a jinx.
Zoe's still on the walkie, or is on it again, or something. "Are you sure? I understand, Charles." Charles. Who cares about him? Jin and Sun are back together! Can't we just end the episode now, before anything bad happens? Apparently not. Sawyer: "That Widmore?" The Widmorons again have their weapons cocked and pointed at our Losties. Sawyer demands to know what the hell Zoe is doing. Zoe: "What does it look like I'm doing? Hands up. On your knees. All of you." Sawyer yells, "We had a deal." Zoe tells him, "Deal's off." Then, speaking into the walkie- she says, "We've got 'em. If you've got a sightline on Locke, fire when ready." Walkie: "Roger." Hey, bullshit. It's nowhere near nightfall.
Island Beach: As he's standing in front of the Fauckers, Jack hears a whistling sound overhead. Realizing what it is, he yells, "GET DOWN." Jack and the Fauckers run for cover, but Faucke himself stands firm. When the bomb (missile? let's go with that) hits, Jack is thrown to the sand. When he opens his eyes, we get his perspective on the scene. His hearing is muffled; his vision blurry, but he sees Faucke running toward him. Another missile hits. We don't see Jack and Faucke for a second. Did it get them? Apparently not. Apparently. Faucke runs for the jungle with Jack draped across his shoulders. He places his limp body down and leans it up against a tree. "Jack, you all right?" Jack comes to, but his head is still reeling. Faucke: "Don't worry. It's gonna be okay. You're with me, now." NOoooooooooooooooooo.
Dun. Bad Robot!
All right, did Jack die and did Faucke bring him back to life? Is that how it works? I can't believe it's a coincidence that Sayid told Desmond about his resurrection. And I still think Claire died when Keamy attacked New Otherton. This line of thought is making me sick, though. I just want to scoop up Jack and pin him to Hurley's side. And yet, Jack was staring out at the ocean before he took his leap of faith, so maybe this is what he needs to do. This leaving Kate and the other Losties to go join Faucke (or Locke, for that matter) isn't something anyone could have ever told Jack to do. What can Faucke promise him? Surely not Kate? He was way crazier last season, when he blew up the island for her. He seems to have come to terms with their "relationship" now. Would he want Juliet restored to life? Would he want Sarah back? Is he too self-actualized now to be tempted by Faucke? Why can't there be a new episode this week? I hate you, ABC schedulers. I hate your stupid guts. (Okay, not really. I just need a Lost fix.)
I have to believe Desmond is alive, and not just because I lurve him, and not just because he's the lynchpin, but because of the change in Sayid. The change in Sayid is the one thing that's keeping me hopeful where Jack is concerned, too. Well that, and the fact that Claire and Sawyer left Team Faucke, even though they too had been promised things.
At first, I really wanted Jack to be the one who got Claire onto the Elizabeth, but once I saw it play out, I was so glad it was Kate. This is Kate's chance to do the right thing. When Jacob met wee lunchbox stealing Kate Austen, he saved her ass, booped her on the nose, and told her to be a good girl, and not steal again. Bringing Claire back to Aaron is her redemption song. Sing it, sister. Sing it.
Apropos of nothing, do you too feel like David Shephard might evaporate? And who the heck is his mom, anyhow? I was watching "The Hunting Party, on DVD, earlier this week and was struck by a few things. Gabriela Busconi (patient's daughter who Jack kissed) could be David Shephard's mother, if only she were a little paler. Well, this is TV, and not just TV, but Lost. Hell, Rose could be David Shephard's mother, for all we know. But I keep coming back to Sarah, Jack's former wife.
Now, Sarah had a pregnancy scare in that episode, which took place over the course of a month or so (Angelo Busconi was in the hospital for a month before he died on the table). When Sarah tells Jack she's not pregnant, he seems relieved it was a false alarm, which would only make sense, given his then-lifetime subscription to Daddy Issues. Sarah seems angry, or hurt, or edgy, though. And when Jack asks her if she wants to talk about it, she refuses. At the end of the episode, Jack reveals he kissed Gabriela, and Sarah reveals she's been having an affair for some time, and that she's leaving him. The thing is, Jack didn't fly into a fit of jealous rage when Sarah initially told him about the pregnancy scare, so it seems they were still having sex often enough that the baby could be his, yeah? I don't know -- this all makes sense in my head. I just keep thinking that David is going to evaporate in the Sideways, and that if Jack makes the right choices in the Islandways, maybe he'll get his wife back, and the baby we later saw her pregnant with (in 2007, I think) will be his, and will be David. Or maybe he'll reunite with Kate, and they'll conceive David. My word. I need medication, stat. Don't I? I'm going to leave it here, before they lock me up.
I'll see you on Wednesday, May 4th, with my recaplet of the upcoming episode. Since this was "The Last Recruit," the title isn't at all a surprise, so I'll note it here: "The Candidate." Until then, please join us in the forums, where you can express polite dissent without getting kicked off the boat.
They're coming to take Cindy to Santa Rosa any minute now, but they have wireless there, so email her at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com, or follow her on Twitter. If you're looking for other Lost fans and/or the cast and crew, check out the lists on her Twitter profile sidebar.
Watch a video recap of this episode.
Find out how you can get collectible prints of the Lost candidates.
Take a look at the 15 major questions that Lost has yet to answer this season.
Watch the full episode here, then see what the last season of Mad Men can learn from Lost! And check back soon for that recap!
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