In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
How the hell am I supposed to sum that up? I don't know either, so I turned to my best TV-watching and life partner -- my husband, Scott.
Me: Honey, sum up tonight's lost for me, in 350 words, so I can send it off, wrap up the HIMYM weecap and get to bed.
Scott: Um.... Desmond comes back. Um... Hugo... um... is in charge. Um... Hugo finds his memory. The Russian chick gets blown up. Don't mess with dynamite! That's it. Wash and repeat?
Me: Huh?
Scott: Rinse and repeat.
Me: Do you mean "lather, rinse, repeat"?
Scott: Yeah!
Gentle readers -- he's very cute, awesome with the kids, has a great job and does laundry. Don't judge him (or me).
Okay, so. Remember how last week, I gave you a recap in the recaplet? So not happening here.
In the Sideways: After his latest celebration (M.C.ed by Dr. Pierre Chang a.k.a. Whomever Straume), Mama Reyes sets award-winning millionaire philanthropist Hugo up on a blind date with Rosalita -- a family friend. She doesn't show at the Mexican restaurant, but LIBBY does. She remembers Hugo. He doesn't remember her, but he feels... something, you know? Then he finds out she's on a field trip from the sanitarium. As Hurley himself might say, "Bummer, dude."
Later in the Sideways, Hugo meets up with Desmond in a Mr. Cluck's (where he is waited on by Samm Fricking Levine). Even though Hurley is drowning his sorrows in a family-sized bucket o' chicken, Des gets him to talk. After Des makes the point that they were on Oceanic 815 a week prior, Hugo tells him about his encounter with Libby. Des asks if Hugo believed Libby while she was talking. He did. So Des tells him to go with his gut and find out what's up with that. Then Samm Levine calls Desmond's order number: 42.
Hugo visits Libby at the Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute. She admitted herself, so she can get out on day passes, etc. They make a date -- and have it, at the beach. Hugo brings a blanket this time, bless him. He still remembers nothing -- until they kiss (which is like a really, really little death). Then he experiences the same kind of otherworldly flashbacks/visions Charlie claims to have seen, and that Sideways Desmond has seen. We'll leave them there, for now.
On the Island, things are no less freaky. The ghost of Michael (or is it Smokey, appearing as same) visits Hurley while he's tending Libby's island grave, up on Boone's Bluff. Michael is all against Richard's plans to blow up the plane. "I'm here to stop you from getting everyone killed." When Richard convinces Ilana that that's what needs doing, Hurley seems to be at a loss. But she goes and gets four sticks of dynamite, anyhow. But, after ILANA BLOWS THE HELL UP, THANKS TO UNSTABLE DYNAMITE AND HER REFUSAL TO LISTEN TO JACOB'S NEWEST PROPHET, HURLEY -- things change.
Richard is still gung-ho on his plane explosion plan, even after Jack points out that perhaps Ilana died to show them the plan sucks. But in a stunning reversal, or so it seems, Hurley then decides he agrees with Richard after all. He says the Jacobites should go out to the Black Rock, get some more dynamite, and blow up their only frigging hope of getting off the island. The thing is, Hurley goes first, and he blows the ship and all the dynamite to Hell, in order to put an end to this blowing up the plane nonsense, once and for all. I like to imagine that Frank is biting his tongue to point out he must still be alive for some reason.
Soon after, Hurley lies that he sees Jacob, and that Jacob is telling them they have to go talk to Faucke. Richard, Ben and Miles decide they've had enough and part ways with the Jacobites. They're heading back toward New Otherton to get their hands on grenades and whatever else they can, to combat Smokey. Jack, Sun and Frank stay with Hurley. Richard warns them: "Don't get in our way."
Once the Jacobites + Frank are on their own, Hurley asks Jack how you break the ice with the Smoke Monster. He then fesses up that he didn't see Jacob "back there." Jack knows, but since Juliet died (and he sees this as his fault) all he's wanted to do is fix it, and he figures he's supposed to be learning a new way, no matter how hard it is for him to let go and listen to others. Oh Jack, grow your chest hair back, and you'll be my second perfect man. How do you feel about laundry? Just wonderin'... Hurley's not comfortable in his new role as leader, but Jack says, "This is me, trusting you."
Then, Hurley hears the WHISPERS! Saying he thinks he knows what they are, he wanders off and finds the ghost of Michael, who confirms that he (Michael) is stuck on the island "because of what [he] did," and there are others stuck out there, too. "We're the ones who can't move on." So Darlton may have spent six years telling us this isn't Purgatory, but it so kinda is. Michael points out Faucke's location, and when Hurley asks if there's anything he can do to help him, Michael says, "Don't get yourself killed... And Hurley, if you ever do see Libby again, tell her I'm very sorry." Hurley: "I'll be sure to do that, dude." Ouch.
Meanwhile, back in the Sideways, Desmond watches Hurley and Libby's beachside (re)union. Once he's satisfied that Hurley's seen what he needs to, he drives off.
Island: Sayid delivers Desmond to Faucke, who marches Des out to ye olde well. And I knew it, I knew it, I knew from the second that we saw that well that Faucke was going to toss Desmond's ass in it. And he does, because Desmond refuses to listen to me when I yell at him through my TV. Damn it. But before Faucke does the deed, he tells Des that Widmore isn't interested in answers, just power. Before last week, I would have been certain that was true. Now, I'm buying into it 50%.
Back at Camp Faucke, Faucke tells Sayid (who is the only one who knows Desmond is back on Craphole) that they don't have to worry about their "friend" any more. Just as Sawyer approaches Faucke to see what's up, Hurley enters the camp. While Sawyer says "Son of a bitch," Faucke greets Hurley, who says he has other people with him, and that while everyone has weapons, he doesn't want any casualties. After Faucke gives Hurley his word on that point, Frank, Sun and (after a long delay) Jack, enter the clearning. Kate, who clearly has no idea of the stakes, smiles at Jack. Faucke does, too. "Hello, Jack."
Sideways: Desmond ends up in the parking lot of the high school where Benjamin Linus teaches and John Locke is the substitute. Ben approaches Des, concerned that he's a pedophile, scoping out new prey. Des says (lies) that he's checking out schools for his son, Charlie (awwwww), but it's the wheelchair-bound Locke who has caught his eye. Once Ben moves off, Desmond puts the car in gear and RUNS OVER LOCKE! Locke lies twitching and suffering, maybe even dying -- and almost certainly having an island-laden near-death experience, as Des drives off. Ben rushes to his side and hollers for someone to call 9-1-1. DUN! Bad Robot.
I'm starting the full recap now, so until then, please join us in the forums, where nobody puts Baby Desmond in a corner well.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on Lost: Faucke, discussing the locked room on Widmore's sub, tells Sawyer that he doesn't like secrets; also, Sayid sees Zoe and Baby Face take a drugged Desmond out of the sub. Widmore's highly charged experiment not only lights up Desmond's life; it makes Desmond more than willing to go along with his plans -- no questions asked (damn it). When Sayid snatches him from the Widmorons and says they're dangerous, Des takes this in stride, too. Meanwhile, Richard tells the Jacobites they must destroy their only known way off the island -- Frank's plane.
Currently on Lost:; Sideways: Hugo Reyes is named "Man of the Year" at the grand opening gala for the Golden State Natural History Museum's Hugo Reyes Paleontology Wing. Dr. Pierre Chang aka Whomever Straume presides over the festivities, making a sweet "Everybody Loves Hugo" sort of speech. Hugo modestly accepts the wild applause of the crowd, and a frosted glass T-Rex statuette. But after the event, Mama Reyes is not as thrilled and proud as you might expect her to be. Carmen, who is personally aware that people have their needs, goes all we gotta get you a woman -- preferably one who didn't nurse him. She ignores her son's cringes, and announces she has set up a blind lunch date for him with Grandpa Tito's neighbor's daughter, Rosalita. They're going to play some pool; skip some school; act real cool; stay out all night; it's gonna feel all right.
Island; Jacobite Beach Resort and Casino; Boone's Bluff: Hurley replaces the dead flower at Libby's grave with a fresh one, and talks to her, but unlike all his other dead friends, she doesn't call, she doesn't write, she doesn't show, and she definitely doesn't talk back. Where's the love, Libby? Ilana interrupts this touching moment to announce she's going to fetch some dynamite from the Black Rock, so they can blow up the Ajira plane, over on Craphole-Adjacent. You pick up Little Dynamite. I'm gonna pick up Little Gun. Hurley doesn't think that's the best move, but Ilana says it's their only as one. Ilana softens then and asks Hurley whose grave he's at. He tells her about Libby and their first date that never happened thanks to Michael's sucky timing and murderous rampage.
Once she's gone, Hurley hears the whispers. When he looks around for their source, he finds none other than Libby's killer: MICHAEL! When I was writing the recaplet, I wondered if it could be Smokey in a different disguise, forgetting that, supposedly, in the wake of Jacob's death, the only meatsuit that fits Smokey is Locke's. Hurley wants to know what he's doing there. Michael says, "I'm here to stop you from getting everyone killed." Dun. Title card.
After the break, Hurley stares down Michael's ghost and finally asks why he should trust him. "You murdered Libby and Ana-Lucia." Michael says nothing matters right now, except stopping the Jacobites from getting all blowed up. Richard's dynamite plane-plan will kill too many, and if Hurley doesn't stop it, it will be all his fault. "People are listening to you now, Hurley."
Just then Jack walks up and asks who Hurley was talking to. Hurley lies, badly. "Um, no one." Jack tells him they're leaving and we cut to...
Sideways; Spanish Johnny's Restaurant: Scott, a ginormous Boss fan, points out that Spanish Johnny is the the second Springsteen reference in this episode. Lostpedia confirms that scribe Adam Horowitz is also a big Bruce fan, too. Anyhow, Hugo looks forlorn as he waits for Rosalita, who mustn't realize playing Blind Man's Bluff is a little baby's game. The waiter approaches and offers some more homemade tortilla chips and starts to clear away the unused place setting, but Hurley stops him, sheepishly adding that his date is late.
Soon thereafter, an attractive blonde stops at Hugo's table. "Hugo?" It's LIBBY! Of course this is the Sideways, so Hugo's brain doesn't know that yet, even if his soft heart does. He jumps to his feet and fumbles for the right thing to say, and settles on, "Hi. Nice to meet you. Wow. I wasn't expecting someone like you." Libby: "I'm sorry?" Hugo: "You know... someone so... pretty." Awww. Every guy should take blind date lessons from Hurley, right now. I'll wait 'til you get back. Hurley offers Libby a seat and says what I've been thinking: "You don't look like a Rosalita." That's because that's not her name. "It's Libby." She's not his blind date, she just saw him from across the room. When Hugo wants to know how she knew his name, Libby says that he'll think she's crazy if she tells him the truth. He says he won't, so she reaches out and takes his hand. "Hugo, do you believe that people can be connected -- like soul mates?" He nods. "I guess." She shakes her head and fights off the tears. "You don't remember me, do you?" He sure looks like he's trying. "Should I?"
Before Libby can continue, Dr. Douglas Brooks (Bruce Davison) strolls over, and puts his hand on Libby's shoulder, effectively cock-blocking Hurley. "What are you doing, Elizabeth? Are you bothering this man?" Libby says that Hugo's an old friend. Brooks doesn't buy this and tries to scoot her away from the table as Libby tries to plead her case to her doctor. Dynamite's in the belfry, playing with the bats. Hugo says, "Doctor?" because in the Sideways, he's never been a mental patient with an imaginary friend, Dave. Brooks explains that Libby just wandered off. Hugo's all, "From where?" Before her keeper can drag her away, Libby leans over the table. "Everything I said. Hugo... I meant it." The doctor apologizes and drags his charge away, leaving poor Hugo in stunned silence. We cut to him exiting Spanish Johnny's, just in time to see Libby and the other patients loaded into the Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute van. He returns Libby's small wave and longing stare.
Jacobite Beach Resort and Casino: Ilana returns and tells the Jacobites they have to make it to the outrigger and across the channel to Craphole-Adjacent, before nightfall. When Richard asks if she got the dynamite, she shows him 4 sticks. "Enough to destroy the cockpit and all the instruments. That plane will never fly." Finally, Hurley interrupts and says he thinks it might be a bad idea. He adds how unstable the dynamite is. Ilana assures him she's been training her whole life to protect him -- them -- the candidates. Hurley doesn't understand how blowing up the plane will accomplish that. Ilana: "With that plane gone, that thing won't be able to leave the island." Hurley's rebuttal is a sound one. "Yeah, well neither will we, and then we'll be stuck here with it, and it'll be angry at us." Richard and Ilana roll their eyes at all this talk of leaving the island. Ilana kneels down and starts putting things in her pack, right on top of the sticks of oh so unstable dynamite. "Jacob said that Richard will know what to do, and Richard said to blow up the plane. Correct?" Richard: "Yes." Hurley says Jacob never said anything about it to him. "What if Richard's... wrong?" Ilana raises her voice. Everyone is watching, now. "Hugo, I'm looking out for your best interests. All of you. Nothing's more important than this. That thing is evil. And God help us if it ever leaves this island." She puts a bottle of water in her pack, then closes it and drops it to the ground. "Because if it..." KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Ilana chunks rain down on Hurley, Richard, Sun, Jack and the rest of the gang who are thrown to the ground by the explosion. Dun!
Camp Faucke: Faucke's whittling when Sawyer approaches. "Is that gonna be a spear?" Faucke says he doesn't know yet. He looks at the wood and says, "When the time is right, it'll tell me." Sawyer: "You talk to wood now." Kate hushes him and sits to Faucke. Sawyer then bitches about how they've done nothing to get Jin back from Widmore. Faucke tells him there's a difference between doing nothing and waiting. Kate wants to know what they're waiting for. Faucke explains that just like the Returnees had to be on the Ajira flight together, the Fauckers will have to wait until Hugo, Sun, and Jack join them, before making a move. "That's the only way we're ever getting off this... God forsaken rock." Kate doesn't see that happening. Faucke scowls the ugliest, meanest scowl as he hopes that she's wrong. Before his face freezes like that, Sayid returns and asks to speak to Faucke in private.
Sayid leads Faucke through the jungle, as he reports that although Widmore didn't see him, the Widmorons did. Faucke: "And you let them live?" Sayid says he didn't see the point of killing them when he already had that for which he'd come. He pulls apart some brush to reveal Widmore's secret package: Desmond! He's tied to a tree, but is awfully Zen about it. Faucke cocks his head as if he's trying to put together the pieces of a puzzle. Commercial.
Jacob Beach Resort, Casino, and Ground Zero: Hurley digs through Ilana's things, passing over a Russian-language paperback edition of Dostoyevsky's Notes from Underground. When he finds what must be the sack o'Jacob. He looks in it and draws it closed. We cut to Richard across the way, who is hastily rifling through supplies. Ben looks at his old advisor. "Now what?" Richard says they go get more dynamite, or else Ilana will have died for nothing. Jack, saner than ever before, points out that maybe Ilana died "to show us to stay the hell away from dynamite." Richard's willing to take that risk, but Jack isn't. He promised Sun he'd get her off the island. Just then, Hurley chimes in and says he thinks Richard is right. "It's the only chance we've got." He looks right at Jack. "Trust me." And Jack? Does! "All right, let's get moving." Sigh. They grow up so fast.
We cut to Mr. Clucks, where Samm Fricking Levine waits on the big boss himself, Hugo, who orders a family-sized bucket the way an angry cowboy might order a bottle of whisky. As Hugo stuffs down his sorrows, the number 41 is called out over the P.A. system. Hugo waits expectantly, and then looks around, until he sees a sunglasses-wearing Desmond staring at him, so he snarls "What?" Des shrugs and walks over to him, removing his shades. "I'm sorry, have I seen you before?" Since Hugo owns the place, maybe Des has seen him in the commercial. He asks: "Want a Cluckateer keychain?" but there's nothing kindly about the offer. Des ignores the attitude and asks if he was on Oceanic Flight 815, about a week ago -- from Sydney. He continues acting oblivious and asks if he can join Hugo until his order is ready. When he then comments on how much chicken Hugo is eating, Hugo explains with great exasperation that he eats when he's depressed. Des, who has seen the light, remember, zeros right in on the issue. "So, what's her name?" Hugo explains about meeting Libby while waiting for Rosalita and how she's totally awesome, except for one thing. "She's crazy." Des chuckles. "Well all women are a little crazy, brothah." I'd bitch about that, but I'm afraid I'd prove his point, besides, it sounds way less offensive coming from someone like Des, aimed at someone like Hugo. (Okay, mostly because it's coming from Des. What? He's a special snowflake. He can straddle realities and infuse offensive generalizations with charm.) He explains that Libby lives in a sanitarium and claims they already know each other. "And that? I'd remember." Desmond leans in close. His voice -- gravel. "Tell me something. Did you believe her when she said she knew you?" Hugo considers this. "Yeah... Kinda." Des smiles. "Now I say go w' y'gut. Maybe you should -- you should try to find out where she thinks she knew y'from, before you give up on her." As Hugo chews over Desmond's words, Samm Levine calls out number 42. Desmond: "Ah, that's me, brothah. Well, uh, it was nice bumping into you." You too, 42!
Outskirts of Camp Faucke; Desmond's Tree: Faucke apologizes that Sayid tied Desmond up. Desmond understands they didn't want him to run off before getting a chance to chat. "Although as I explained to him before he left, I have nowhere to run to, brothah." Faucke shrugs. "Well, if that's not the best argument against captivity that I've ever heard, I don't know what is." He cuts through one piece of rope around Desmond's wrists, which magically loosens all the others. Desmond is free. Faucke, though, has a few questions for our favorite Scot. Desmond is glad to oblige. He wants to know why Widmore brought Des back to the island. Desmond plays dumb, yet speaks the truth. He was kidnapped, thrown into a shed, and blasted with electromagnetism. Faucke wants to know how he can be sure what Chuckles blasted him with. Desmond says, "Experience." Papa lowered the boom; he locked you in your room. Faucke smiles, and just for a moment, his expression takes on a John Locke-like quality, but then it disappears. "Do you know who I am?" Do you, Smokey? Desmond: "Of course. You're John Locke." Faucke's eyes fill me with dread as he turns to Sayid and tells him to head back to camp. "I'll be back soon." Sayid asks, "Where are you going?" Faucke: "Desmond and I need to take a walk." Once they're alone, Faucke stretches out his hand to help Desmond up. "There's something I'd like to show you."
Path to the Black Rock: As the Jacobites make their way back to the old ship, Ben says "It kinda makes you think, doesn't it? [...] Ilana, there she was, hand-picked by Jacob. Trained to come and protect you candidates. No sooner does she tell you who you are, then she blows up. The island was done with her. Makes me wonder what's going to happen when it's done with us." That was a day-brightener. Jack shrugs off as Ben waxes Eeyore-ical, but Sun, trailing behind, is all ears. When they get to the wreck, Richard tells the gang he doesn't want anyone but him to handle the dynamite, which makes sense, since he's got a guarantee of immortality. But then, he realizes Hurley isn't there. When they call out for him, Hurley comes running out of the ship, like a bat out of hell. "RUN! RUN! RUN! GO! GO! GO!" Rosalita, jump a little lighter. Senorita, come sit by my fire. BOOM goes the dynamite. Again. Hurley can't be dead, right? Right! As the ship burns to smithereens, Richard confronts him. "Why the hell did you do that?" Hurley: "I'm protecting us." Commercial!
After the break, Jack tries to calm Richard down, but he's in a tizzy. "That's it. We're dead. We're all dead." Clearly, Richard got the role of advisor due to his ability to maintain a cool head in the heat of a crisis situation. Miles chides Hurley for his inadequate warning and then asks why blew up the ship and all the dynamite therein. Hurley says Michael told him to. When Miles doesn't recognize the name, Hurley explains: "One of the people who come back and yell at me after they die. He told me I had to stop everyone from blowing up the plane, so -- no dynamite, no blowing up." Miles wonders if dead people tell him what to do a lot, and why he listens to what they say. Hurley: "Dead people are more reliable than alive people." Heh.
Santa Rosa: Hugo sits in Dr. Brooks' office, and asks for permission to visit Libby. Brooks is not at all inclined to help until Hugo greases the skids with a $100,000.00 donation to spruce up the gnarly rec room. We cut to Hugo waiting in that same rec room until Libby arrives. She's thrilled to see him, but her smile crumbles when he admits he doesn't remember her. When Hugo asks where she thinks she knows him from, Libby knows her explanation doesn't make sense, but Hugo says, "Try me."
It seems Libby was watching TV, and when one of Hurley's commercials came on, it was like all these memories of her life came rushing back, but it was an entirely different life with a plane crash -- on an island. Hugo was there and they knew each other -- liked each other. "And then, when I got here, it was almost like I'd been here before. For some reason, Hugo, I have a memory of you being here, too." Hugo says it's the first time he's ever been in a mental hospital. Libby knows, but she hasn't been able to get him out of her brain, so when she saw him at Spanish Johnny's she had to talk to him -- had to see if he remembered her. She searches his face as he says, "I wish I could, Libby, but I can't. I'm sorry." Libby wipes away a tear and tells him it's okay. "I'm crazy." Hugo says, "Yeah, probably, but we've all got something, right? I mean, it takes a lot of guts to go up to a total stranger and tell him you know I'm from some Bizarro alternate universe. I'm scared just saying 'hi' to a girl." Libby tells him he's doing fine. Hugo laughs at the absurdity of the scene and then asks if she can ever get out on a day pass, or anything. "You mean like a date?" Hugo: "Yeah." I'm comin' to lend a hand. I'm comin' to liberate you, confiscate you, I want to be your man.
Faucke asks Desmond how long he was down in the hatch, pressing the buttons. When Desmond reminds him it was three years, Faucke comments on him ending up back here, again. "If I didn't know better, I would say this island has it in for you." Des is slick. "Do you know better?" Faucke: "Excuse me?" Des: "There's nothing special about me, brothah. This island has it in for all of us." Faucke points and nods. "Yes it does." But then, he spies Boy off in the brush. Although he's still portrayed by Kenton Duty, he looks older and his hair is noticeably darker. Desmond spins around, and just like Sawyer (and unlike Richard) he sees Boy, too. "Who's that?" Faucke is visibly peeved. "Just ignore him." Des says, "Do you know that boy?" Faucke yells: "I said ignore him!" At that, Boy smiles and takes off into the thicket.
Burning Black Rock: Richard asks Ben if there are still explosives at the New Otherton. Since there are, he plans to go there and get them, so they can get with blowing up the plane. Hurley says he knows what they have to do, and that's not it. "We have to go talk to Locke." Ben: "Are you trying to get us killed?" Hurley points off toward the trees. "It's not my idea. It's his." The Jacobites can't see Richard, and neither can we. The question is, can Hurley? Richard doesn't believe him. He tries to test him. "Ask him what the island is. [...] If he's really standing here to me, then just ask him." Pssst, Hurley. It's a cork on the wine bottle that is the Hellmouth. Hurley walks right up to Richard, but looks like he's listening to someone else. "I don't have to prove anything to you Richard. You can either come with me, or keep trying to blow stuff up. Your call, dude." Oh, he's fronting. He learned how to do that, when Jacob was actually coaching him through his conversation with Dogen, but he's fronting just the same. Richard, who agrees with me, smiles. "He's lying. Jacob isn't telling us what to do, because Jacob never tells us what to do. I'm gonna make this simple. If that thing leaves the island, that's it. It's over." Miles wants to know what's over. Richard says, "Everything." He's determined to destroy the plan and welcomes any help he can get. He finds that help in Ben. And then Miles decides to go too, telling Hurley, "I saw that thing in action, man. It doesn't want to talk. Sorry." Oh Miles, your logic is sound, but your conclusion? Still wrong.
Richard asks if anyone else will be joining him. Jack says, "Sorry, Richard. If Jacob says we talk to Locke then we go talk to Locke. I'm going with Hugo." Hurley looks regretful at that, and yet, proud. "Really?" Jack nods. Richard looks at the Frank and the true Jacobites and says, "Don't get in our way." As he and his turn-coats disappear, Jack says, "All right, Hurley. Let's go talk to Locke." Commercial.
Jungle; Nighttime: Hurley leads the Jacobites through the jungle. Sun, scribbles on her notepad, and there's no V countdown clock, so we can actually read what she writes: Did we make a mistake? She shows it to Frank, who says, "Probably." Meanwhile, Hurley asks Jack what they should say to Locke when they get there. "How do you break the ice with the Smoke Monster?" Jack says not to worry. "Something tells me he's going to do most of the talking." Hurley: "Or he could just kill us all." The guilt is too much for Hurley. He turns toward Jack and quickly confesses that he didn't see Jacob back by the Black Rock. He lied because he wanted everyone to listen to him. Jack says, "I know." Hurley: "Then why'd you go with me?" Jack says, "Ever since Juliet died -- ever since I got her killed -- all I've wanted was to fix it, but I can't. I can't ever fix it. You have no idea how hard it is for me to sit back and listen to other people tell me what I should do." Oh honey, I think we do. "But maybe that's the point. Maybe... maybe I'm supposed to let go." Rose would be so proud of Jack, but Hurley worries: "Unless you letting go gets us killed. Going to see Locke was my idea, not Jacob's." Jack nods. "Hurley, you asked me to trust you. This is me trusting you." I'm gonna cry. So is Hurley. "It's a good thing you do, dude, 'cause I have no idea where I'm going." Just then Frank and Sun catch up, but it's another sound that alarms Jack. He grabs his rifle as the whispers begin. The only word I can make out is Richard. As Frank looks around in fright, Hurley tells him it's cool. He thinks he knows what they are. He tells the gang to wait for him and disappears into the night.
When Hurley comes to a clearing he calls out for Michael who comes up from behind him. Hurley whips around and says, "You're stuck on the island, aren't you?" Michael nods. "'Cause of what I did." Hurley figures there are others suffering a similar fate. "That's what the whispers are?" Michael: "Yeah, we're the ones who can't move on." So we've been hearing for five years that the island isn't purgatory, but it sure is limbo, at least for some folks. Hurley asks him if he knows where Locke is? Michael points to the campfire, burning in the distance, not too far from shore. Hurley thanks him and asks if there's anything he can do to help Michael. Michael says, "Don't get yourself killed." As Hurley makes to leave, Michael adds, "And Hurley, if you ever do see Libby again, tell her I'm very sorry." Hurley chokes back the tears. "I'll be sure and do that, dude." He's nicer than I am, Michael. Bugger off, but do say hi to Waaaaaalt.
Sideways; Beach: Our peek at Hugo and Libby's date begins with the lovely shot of Hugo flipping and spreading out a blanket that he didn't forget to pack for this reality's cheese (six kinds) picnic. Hooray! He stumbles over his words, but Libby can barely listen. Something's off. "It's just being here with you is so familiar. It's like a date we've never had.... Wow, I sound completely insane, don't I?" Hugo grins. "Nah. Not completely." Hee. And we get a look at their island relationship in the looking glass that is the Sideways world, as Libby wonders why he wants to be with her, but Hugo turns the question back on her. "C'mon. Look at me." Libby wants to be with him because she likes him. Hugo points out that she only likes him because she's delusional.
And then... then Libby leans forward and kisses him tenderly, and we flash through Hugo "Hurley" Reyes' original timeline: Libby smiles at him; Libby embraces him up on the cliff; they kiss as tears sneak from the corner of Libby's closed eyes. Back on the Sideways beach, they continue to kiss until Hugo's eyes fly open. Libby notices the change and asks him what's wrong. Hurley: "Whoa. Dude. I... I think I'm remembering stuff." Libby says, "You are? You mean I'm not crazy." I don't know, Libby. Why don't you kiss him again to be sure. It's been a long, dry six years in the lives and lack of loves of Hugo Reyes. Hugo is less glib than I. "No. I don't think you are." Libby tries to catch her breath and leans in to lay her hand on Hugo's shoulder. The camera pans back to reveal Desmond watching them from a car. Understanding that a kiss is a little, tiny death, he realizes his work here is done, and drives off, leaving the two lovers to rediscover one another. On a beach full of people. In broad daylight. Commercial!
Island: Faucke marches Des out to ye olde well. DES, get away from that well! He drops a torch down it to see how deep it is. Get away from the well! He explains that it was hand dug long ago, by people who noticed that their compasses went crazy when they were standing on certain spots on the island. Great, now get away from it, Des. They dug down to see what was causing the disturbance. They dug down for answers -- answers they never got. "The reason I wanted you to see this Desmond, is because Charles Widmore is not interested in answers. He's only interested in power. And he brought you back to this island, so that you could help him find what he's looking for. After all, this isn't the only well." No, and Jin probably has them all plotted out for Charles on one of his gridmaps. Desmond nods, but he doesn't budge, despite my repeated pleas. Instead, he addresses Faucke. "And that's the reason you wanted me to see this?" Faucke looks grim. "Why aren't you afraid?" Did anyone else just flash to the moment when Sawyer knew Faucke wasn't Locke? Desmond says, "Excuse me?" Faucke explains: "You're out here, in the middle of the jungle with me. Not a person on earth even knows you're here. Why aren't you afraid?" Desmond says, "What is the point in being afraid?" Faucke's smile never quite settles into his eyes. He reaches and you knew it. I knew it. We all knew it. If I'm not mistaken, Desmond knew it, too! And so it happens. Faucke tosses Desmond's bonnie ass down that well. Yeaarrrrrgh!
Camp Faucke: Faucke returns to a waiting Sayid who asks, "How's our friend?" Faucke: "We don't have to worry about him anymore." Sayid walks off, giving Sawyer a chance to play the long-suffering wife. "Where have you been?" Faucke takes a swig from his canteen and then: Out for a walk, bitch. "I went for a walk, James." Sawyer starts in on him, but is stopped short by the sight of Hurley walking through the trees. "Son of a bitch."
Why did the chicken addict cross the jungle at night? To get to the other side. Hurley walks up to Faucke and says, "Um, hey. [...] I don't know who you are or what you want, dude, but we have to talk to you." Faucke finds the we interesting. Hurley nods back towards the trees. "The other people with me. The thing is, you've got weapons. And we've got weapons. I don't want anyone to get hurt or killed. So, we're not going to do anything, and I want your word that you're not going to do anything, either." Faucke looks to his loyal Fauckers (and Kate and Sawyer) and then back at Hurley, before he takes out his knife, flips it around, and hands it over. "You have my word." And at that, out comes Sun, Frank, and then finally Jack. Sun looks devastated when she doesn't see Jin. Kate smiles warmly at Jack, but he's soon distracted by Faucke's "Hello, Jack." They stare at each other until we cut to...
Sideways: Desmond ends up in the parking lot of the high school where Benjamin Linus teaches and John Locke is the substitute. Ben approaches Des, concerned that he's a pedophile, scoping out new prey. Des lies with the truth -- he's checking out schools for his son, Charlie (awwwww). After all, it's no under-age co-ed, but rather the wheelchair-bound Locke who has caught his eye. Once Ben moves off, Desmond puts the car in gear and rams right into Locke, who flies out of his chair and lands splat on the pavement. As Locke lies twitching and suffering, maybe even dying -- and almost certainly having an island-laden near-death experience -- Des drives off. Ben rushes to his side and hollers for someone to call 9-1-1. Some day we'll look back on this, and it will all seem funny. DUN! Bad Robot.
Des's face as he drove off was so lacking in anything approaching warmth, concern or even guilt. Is he just a man on a mission to get back to his real life, his wife, and his son? Does he know he's just been thrown down a well in another life? Is he trying to give Locke a near death experience? Will the trauma somehow land Locke on Dr. Jack Shephard's operating table? Oh my word, I can't even think, because 75% of my brain is still standing at the edge of that well back on Craphole, yells, "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE BLOODY WELL, DESMOND?" Also, who is Boy? Is he Aaron? Is he Jacob? Is he Smokey? Is he all of them? Did original, institutionalized, mousy-haired Libby see these realities when she was in Santa Rosa, way back when? Is it just the drugs talking, or is Kate into Jack again? Do I care? Should I? Help. Someone get me a paper bag. I'm hyperventilating. The wee remains of Jacob holler out from my ashtray, "Oh just sit back and enjoy the ride." Okay, my wee ashen one, I will. I have to say though, I'm sorry to see Ilana go. She just earned her keep (with me, anyhow) back in "Dr. Linus," and now she's gone. Who will the island be done with, ? And what, for the love of cheese curds, is going through Sideways' Locke's brain, right about now? The more I think, the more questions I have, so I'm going to leave this here, for now.
I'll see you here Wednesday morning with the latest recaplet. In the meantime, come on over to the forums, where nobody puts Baby Desmond in a corner well. Got a theory, question, complaint, some MacCutcheon's, or some way to get a very long rope ladder to Craphole? E-mail me at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com, or shout out to me on Twitter.
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