In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close. L.A. Reality: Back from his trip, Live Locke returns to work for his latest Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. It's safe to wager that, unlike Hurley, the island wasn't responsible for all of Locke's problems. Randy fires Live Locke and is an ass about the whole thing, so it's hard to care that the termination is justified (it is). When leaving work, Live Locke can't get into his van, because Hurley has parked too close to him. Hurley, who looks dapper in his Captain of Industry sports coat and ponytail (but should so lose the mutton chops), points out that if Live Locke had parked in the empty handicapped spot, he wouldn't have this problem. Live Locke is all stroppy about it. Just because he can park in the handicapped spot doesn't mean he has to.
Hurley takes pity on Live Locke when he learns he was fired and offers to intervene with Randy the "douche." Live Locke declines the offer, but does take a card for the temp agency Hurley owns. Hurley tells Live Locke to tell them Hugo Reyes said to hook him up. Back home, the chair ramp in Live Locke's van won't go all the way down, so he decides to make his chair jump off it. He lands flat on his face, like you knew he would, and then, the lawn sprinklers pick just that time to come on. But Helen is there to shut them off, help him up, and get him into a bath. They talk about their October wedding (which Locke's father will attend), and Helen finds the card Jack gave Live Locke at LAX and tries to instill some faith in him, but it's all for naught. Locke does visit Hurley's temp agency though, and when the recruiter assigned to him asks him what kind of animal he'd describe himself as, he asks to meet with a supervisor, instead. The supervisor is our very own Rose! Live Locke asks about the open position for a construction site coordinator. When Rose suggests he be a bit more realistic, Live Locke snaps, "What do you know about 'realistic'?" Rose tells him just what she knows: "I have cancer -- terminal cancer." Oh crap. Right now, I hate you, L.A. Reality. I hate your stinky, slimy, smoggy guts. Rose tries to talk him out of the denial phase and into acceptance. It works, perhaps too well, because later in the episode, Live Locke and Helen rip up Jack's card. Later still, Live Locke takes a substitute teacher position at a local school, where he meets the fuss-ass European History teacher -- Ben Linus!
Island Reality: Faux-Locke tries to get Richard to team up with him, but despite FL's promise to treat him with respect and tell him everything, Richard declines. Faux-Locke leaves Richard behind when he sees (but Richard doesn't) a blond boy (with, I think, bloody arms) standing in the brush. Later, we're treated to what the people in the forums have dubbed "Smokey Cam" as our favorite monster makes his way to Dharmaville.
Once there, he's Faux-Locke, again. He picks up Locke's knife and tempts Sawyer out of his now loveless shack. Sawyer knows Locke is dead, and that Faux-Locke is faux, but doesn't really care. Faux-Locke tries very hard to get Sawyer on his side, whatever that is. On their jungle trek, they're startled by the appearance of that young blond boy (could he be a young Jacob? SORAS Aaron? -- his arms aren't bloody, here). When Faux-Locke leaves Sawyer behind to chase after Blondie, Blondie tells him, "You know the rules. You can't kill him." Faux-Locke may need to take a meeting with Rose, because his only comeback is: "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Meanwhile, Richard tries to get Sawyer to come back to the Temple with him, but Sawyer says he's sticking with Faux-Locke, who might just give him answers. Richard says Faux-Locke wants Sawyer and everyone else dead. When he hears Faux-Locke returning, Richard scurries off. Sawyer deflects Faux-Locke's question about who he was talking to by asking if Faux-Locke caught up with the kid. Faux-Locke's all, "What kid?" Still think you're going to get answers from him, Sawyer?
Well, maybe. Faux-Locke leads Sawyer down the face of a cliff. Sawyer almost buys the farm in the process, but eventually, they make it into a cliff-side cave. Inside there's a scale, with a white rock sitting on one side and a black rock sitting on the other. Faux-Locke picks up the white rock and casts it into the sea. Further inside, Faux-Locke shows Sawyer all the writing on the cave and says, "That, James, is why you're all here." There are a ton of names, most of them crossed out. But certain, all too recognizable ones are not. Those all too recognizable names have all too recognizable numbers to them. 4: Locke; 8: Reyes; 15: Ford; 16: Jarrah; 23: Shephard; 42: Kwon. Faux-Locke tells Sawyer that Jacob (who he says "died yesterday") wrote all the names, and "He had a thing about numbers." He tells Sawyer that at some point in his life, probably when he was young and miserable, he met Jacob, who influenced him such that choices he made were not choices at all. "He was pushing you, James. Pushing you -- to the island." Sawyer's all WHA? Faux-Locke says Jacob thought James was a candidate. "[Jacob] thought he was the protector of this place." FL then passes Sawyer the torch. "And you James, have been nominated to take over that job." He tells Sawyer he has three choices. The first is do nothing and see how everything plays out. He crosses out Locke's name as he says it's possible James' name will be crossed out. The second option is to accept the job, become the new Jacob and protect the island. Faux-Locke says the joke is there's nothing from which to protect it. The third choice: "We just go. We just get the hell off this island and we never look back." Sawyer asks how they do that. Faux-Locke says, "Together. So what do you say, James? Are you ready to go home?" Sawyer takes a moment and then: "Hell, yes."
What a great episode. At turns it is funny, suspenseful, and heart-breaking -- but not without hope. And it's a meaty one, too. I'm tempted to pull it apart here and now, but recaplets are supposed be bare-bones, and this already has some flesh on it.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on Lost: Sobbing Sawyer tells Kate it's his fault Juliet died, because he didn't want to be alone. Also, Smokey takes out Bram and the Goonies and then Faux-Locke tells Ben he's sorry he had to see him "like that." Richard recognizes Faux-Locke's faux/foe nature, so Faux-Locke knocks out Richard and carries him off by the ever-ripening carcass of Dead Locke. But first, he wags his fingers at the Sun, Frank, Ilana and the rest of the Four-Toes Beach bums and scolds them like only a cranky old substitute teacher could. "I'm very disappointed in all of you." Meanwhile, over in the new reality, Live Locke lies to Boone about having been on a walkabout in Australia. The plane touches down. Locke is wheeled off by the crew.
L.A. Reality: Live Locke drives his van through a suburban neighborhood and pulls up to a home. The chair ramp in his van won't go all the way down, so he attempts a jump and lands flat on his face, like we knew he would. To let us know this is really Locke, the lawn sprinklers pick just that time to come on. Can the man have his dignity in any reality? Oh, wait I think he does. He's laughing at his situation! Could it be.. .does he have some perspective? Possibly -- and perspective may just have a name. HELEN! She comes out the front door, shuts off the sprinklers and gets Locke into a bath. Planning their October wedding has Helen on edge. She suggests getting her folks and LOCKE'S FATHER, and doing it "shotgun style" in Vegas. Locke wants her to have more than that. He offers his opinion on fabric colors and when he realizes he has chosen the wrong one, he immediately changes his mind to agree with his bride-to-be. That was almost a social skill. Helen then finds the card Jack gave Live Locke at LAX. Helen tries to talk Live Locke into scheduling consult -- even dangling the word destiny in front of him, but he doesn't seem as high on that word as original recipe Locke.
Island Reality: We're treated to a "Smokey Cam" view of the jungle as our favorite monster makes his way to Dharmaville. As it veers near the Loveless Shack -- its ticka ticka rattle clank quiets down enough so that we hear Iggy Pop and the Stooges' "Search and Destroy" blasting away, inside. I'm a runaway son of the nuclear A-bomb. Subtle, Sawyer. The Smokey Cam pauses outside for a moment, then rushes to the edge of the jungle and hovers over an abandoned knife. Faux-Locke appears, picks up the knife and cuts down a hanging canvas trap. It lands with a thud to reveal Richard Alpert. Faux-Locke tells him it's time to talk. I tell Faux-Locke it's time to shorten his name. I've seen Flocke, Smocke (which I think is Mo Ryan's and is seriously awesome, but I feel cheap nicking it), Lockeness Monster, Lockeless Monster, but I'm feeling it should be something a bit more unseemly, so for today, I'm gonna go with Faucke. You can vote this change up or down in the "Question of the Moment" poll in the righthand sidebar.
L.A. Reality: Live Locke returns to work for his latest Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Randy Nations mocks Live Locke with the "Colonel" nonsense and weasels on about Locke's tan and the appointments he missed in Australia. He knows Live Locke never picked up his credentials -- never attended a single convention event -- even though the company footed the bill. Randy fires Live Locke, but is such an ass about the whole thing that it's hard to care that the termination is justified. It's safe to say though, that unlike Hurley, the island wasn't responsible for all of Locke's lucklessness.
Island Reality: Faucke offers Richard his canteen. He eyes it suspiciously, like you do when a guy who used to be a pillar of black smoke (which was summoned by draining a muddy puddle) offers you anything, but Guyliner must be really thirsty, because he takes a drink. Faucke apologizes for hitting him in the throat and dragging him off the beach. "But I had to do something." Why and why that? When Richard asks what he wants, Faucke says, "What I've always wanted -- for you to come with me." Bom chicka wah wah. Richard wants to know what's up with the Locke meatsuit. Faucke says, "I knew he could get me access to Jacob, because John is, or at least was a 'candidate'." Richard doesn't know what that means, so Faucke taunts him/apologizes. "You mean you've been doing everything he told you, all this time, and he never said why? I would never have done that to you. I would never have kept you in the dark. [...] I would have treated you with respect. Come with me, and I promise I'll tell you everything." The serpent slithers out of the fruit tree, bitter that Faucke's stealing his gimmick, but nobody notices. Richard says he's not going anywhere with Faucke, even after Faucke threatens/warns him that people seldom get a second chance. Suddenly, a blond boy (Kenton Duty) with bloody arms and hands, is standing in an oddly sunlit patch of jungle. Richard doesn't seem to see him before he disappears, but Faucke does. As he takes his leave, Faucke says, "I'll be seeing you, Richard -- sooner than you think."
Four-Toes Beach: Ilana sits alone inside the statue base, crying over her lost crew. When Ben makes his presence known, Ilana asks what happened. Ben says there's a chance she won't believe him. It is to laugh. "John Locke killed them. [...] He turned into a pillar of black smoke and he killed them right before my eyes." I wonder if his tongue turns black when he tells the truth. Not to worry. He's going to cleanse it with a luscious lie any second now. Ilana asks, "Did he kill Jacob as well?" Ben says: "Yes." When Ilana is done rolling her eyes, she asks where Jacob's body is. Ben tells her that Faucke kicked Jacob into the fire and he burned away. Ilana walks to the fire pit. Most of the ashes are grey, but the ones in the center are white. Ilana scoops up some white ash and deposits it into a drawstring bag. Ben wants to know why "Locke" carried Richard out into the jungle. Ilana says, "He's recruiting." Were this world righteous, we'd break to commercial for Monster.com, but instead, we cut to...
New Otherton: As Faucke approaches the Loveless Shack, Iggy Pop and the Stooges are trying their best to make me woobify Sawyer. Love in the middle of a fire fight. Honey gotta strike me blind. Somebody gotta save my soul. The door is ajar, so Faucke pushes it open. Baby, penetrate my mind. Faucke looks around at the disaster that was once Juliet's tidy home. I'm the world's forgotten boy. The one who's searching -- searching to destroy... They keep beating the "forgotten boy" point, but there are no woobies here. Nuh uh. Faucke finds Sawyer in the bedroom, sitting on the floor, swilling booze from the bottle. "Hello, James." Sawyer is no longer sobbing. Now he's more shitfaced and splenetic. He squints at Faucke. "I thought you were dead." Faucke smiles knowingly. "I am." Commercial.
Loveless Shack; Kitchen: Sawyer pours generous shots for himself and his uninvited guest, before he plops on his couch. He's only wearing boxers and a completely unnecessary tank, which just feels like it ought to be noted, yeah? He raises his glass to Faucke. "Here's to being dead." Faucke seems surprised that Sawyer isn't freaked out by his presence. Sawyer laughs bitterly. "I don't give a damn if you're dead, or time traveling, or the Ghost of Christmas Past. All I care about is this whisky, so bottoms up...." He raises his glass, and then, "Get the hell out of my house." Faucke argues that it isn't Sawyer's house, but what he's missing is that it's his home. Sawyer changes the subject and asks who he is. "'Cause you sure as hell ain't John Locke. [...] Locke was scared, even when he was pretending he wasn't. But you -- you ain't scared." Faucke implies he's the person who can answer the most important question in the world. Oh, oh! 42! Faucke clarifies: "Why are you on this island?" Sawyer points out three reasons: his plane crashed; his raft was blown up; and he had to bail from the helicopter. Faucke tells him that's not why he's there, "And I can prove it." Sawyer, ever the pragmatist, says, "Well, I guess I'd better put some pants on." Damn it.
L.A. Reality; Box Company Parking Lot: When leaving work, Live Locke can't get into his van, because Hurley's Hummer is parked to it. People more observant than I have noted that Hurley probably couldn't get out of the driver's side, either. Anyhow, Live Locke fusses and grumbles, and then bangs on the back of the SUV until the alarm sounds. This summons Hurley, who looks dapper in his Captain of Industry sports coat and ponytail. He points out that if Live Locke had parked in the empty handicapped spot, he wouldn't have this problem. Live Locke adds a new refrain to his old Don't tell me what I can't do! standard. Just because he can park in the handicapped spot doesn't mean he has to. Hurley is gracious and apologetic, which seems to calm Locke a little. He laughs when Hurley admits he owns the company and introduces himself. Hurley takes pity on Live Locke when he learns he was fired and offers to intervene with Randy Nations the "huge douche." Live Locke declines the offer, but does take the phone number for a temp agency Hurley owns. Hurley tells Live Locke to tell them Hugo Reyes said to hook him up with a new job. "And chin up. Things are going to work out." When he says that, I can't help but believe. Don't let me down, new, lucky Hugo.
Four-Toes Beach: A crab has settled in on Dead Locke's head, just behind his ear. Frank notes he's getting ripe and covers him with a tarp. The crab skitters off. I shudder. Ilana asks where everyone is. Sun tells her they said they were going to the Temple. Ilana says they should go there, too -- it's the safest place on the island. Sun's not so sure she's going to follow along, but Ilana says that if Jin is alive and on the island, that's where he'll be. Ilana starts off, but Sun stops her. "What about John? We need to bury him." Ben and Ilana share a look and we cut to...
Jungle: Faucke tries to pump Sawyer for information, but James suggests they don't talk. The young blond boy (let's call him Boy) appears again, and stops the conversation dead. His hands aren't bloody this time. He's dressed in homespun duds, like the Templars, and various other Others have been over the years. Sawyer says, "Who the hell is that?" As Faucke expresses his surprise that Sawyer can see the kid, Boy runs off. Faucke yells and runs after him, leaving James standing alone. Eventually, Faucke falls flat on his face. He is wearing Locke's meatsuit, after all. Boy stops and looks down at the old man. "You know the rules. You can't kill him." Who -- Jacob? Too late. Sawyer? Better not. Who, Boy? Who? For that matter, who are you, Boy? Jacob, Sawyer, Aaron, or -- heaven forbid -- another new character? Faucke either knows or doesn't care and he must be of the method actor school because as Boy takes off, Faucke yells, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Commercial.
Jungle: Sawyer is hollering for "Locke" when Richard appears, whispering, "Where is he?" Sawyer tells him he ran off after some kid. Richard tries to hustle Sawyer off to the Temple. Sawyer says he's already been to the Temple, so he'll stick with Locke. When Richard points out that Faucke isn't Locke, Sawyer sneers that he knows it. Richard asks, "So why are you with him?" Sawyer says Faucke has answers. "Says he knows why I'm on this island -- unless you want to tell me, Richard." Sawyer is, of course, yelling while Richard keeps his voice at a whisper. "Don't be naïve. He's not going to tell you anything. He's going to kill you." Sawyer says he's already had multiple opportunities, but Richard is persistent. "You don't understand what you're dealing with. He doesn't just want you dead. He wants everyone dead -- everyone you care about -- all of them -- and he won't stop..." Richard then hears Faucke approaching, so he takes off, mid-sentence. And Richard, you know I love you, but it's that kind of half-assed explanation that has Sawyer following Faucke, and at this point, I can't say as I blame him. We've been putting up with this shit for years. When Richard is out of sight, Faucke returns and asks Sawyer who he's talking to. Sawyer lies, "Nobody," and then asks, "Did you ever catch up with the kid?" Faucke thinks turn about is fair play. "What kid?" Heh. Sawyer drawls, "Riiiight. Let's get on with it, shall we." Faucke says, "Yes, James. Let's get on with it." So say we all.
L.A. Reality; Temp Agency: Suzanne Krull's character, Lynn Karnoff, is back, but instead of pretending to be a fortune teller at the behest of Papa Cheech, she's now in Hurley's employ. I'm so gonna miss this show. Anyhow Karnoff asks Locke, "What kind of animal would you describe yourself as?" A lemming? Maybe not. Locke isn't playing this game, so Karnoff changes tacks. "Would you describe yourself as a people person?" Locke, bless him, asks to speak to a supervisor. Here she comes... it's Rose! She laughs knowingly at Locke's frustration with the dumb questions and gets down to business. Live Locke asks about the open position for a construction site coordinator. When Rose suggests he be a bit more realistic, Live Locke snaps, "What do you know about 'realistic'?" Rose tells him just what she knows: "I have cancer -- terminal cancer." Oh crap. Right now, I hate you, L.A. Reality. I hate your stinky, slimy, smoggy guts. Rose tries to talk him out of his denial phase and into acceptance. "When the doctors first told me, I had a hard time accepting it, but eventually I got past the denial part and I got back to living whatever life I have left. So, how about we find you a job you can do?" Oh Rose, how like you.
Island Reality; Jungle Trek: While Faucke leads the way, Sawyer asks if he reads and if he's read Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. Faucke says it was a little after his time. Sawyer sums it up. "Lenny's kind of slow, causing George problems. George walks him out in the woods -- tells him to look out yonder and picture the pretty little house they're going to live in one day. Then he shoots Lenny in the back of the head." Faucke stops and quips that doesn't sound like a happy ending. Sawyer says "It ain't," cocks his gun, and aims it as he wonders aloud what would happen if he put a bullet in Faucke's head. I'm pretty sure I know what would happen to you, Sawyer. Faucke faces him and says, "Why don't we find out." Sawyer doesn't lower the gun. "What are you?" Faucke says, "What I am -- is trapped. And I've been trapped for so long, that I don't even remember what it feels like to be free. Maybe you can understand that. But before I was trapped, I was a man, James, just like you." Sawyer's not convinced, but Faucke says it's the truth. He claims to know joy, pain, fear, betrayal and loss. "If you want to shoot me, shoot me. But you're so close, James. It would be such a shame to turn back now." He turns his back on Sawyer and sallies forth. Sawyer sighs and lowers his weapon. We cut to...
Island Beach: Frank and Sun lead the way as Ilana and Ben carry Dead Locke's corpse in a make shift stretcher/sling. Ben asks Ilana why she brought Locke's corpse there in the first place. Ilana says the people need to see the face of what they're up against. Ben asks what's to stop him from changing his face. Ilana says: "He can't. Not anymore. He's stuck this way." Okay, I'm assuming the "not anymore" comment means not since Jacob's death. But he's stuck that way? She must mean Faucke can't change human forms. I mean, he changed into Smokey when Bram and co. shot at him in the statue base. And we got Smokey-Cam earlier this episode. Whatever.
Locke's funeral cortege reaches Boone's Bluff. Frank and Ben do all the digging, because they're XYs. And ladies, usually I'd be right with you on letting the gentlemen handle the heavy lifting, but how long has Dead Locke been dead? How long has he been baking in the hot sun? Don't you want this over with as quickly as possible? I can't tell if you're preparing the body in some way, or just fiddling with ties on your packs. Skeeve-wise, I hope it's the latter, and also that you're not downwind of Dead Locke. No matter, soon the foursome is lowering Dead Locke into his grave. I find it interesting that Ilana is the only one of the four who doesn't actually step down into the hole. For Sun's sake, okay and Frank's, let's pretend that not foreshadowing. The crew leaves the tarp underneath the corpse -- because this island has an endless supply of tarps (really, watch the first season) and Ilana asks if anyone wants to say anything. I expect Sun to, thinking for a moment that she knew Locke best, but actually, that would be Ben, wouldn't it? Even he thinks so, and goes on to deliver a brilliantly Benjamite eulogy. "John Locke was a... a believer. He was a man of faith. He was a much better man... than I will ever be. And I'm very sorry I murdered him." He puts his hands in his pockets and wanders off. Frank turns his back on the scene and grabs a shovel. "This is the weirdest damn funeral I've ever been to." Maybe so, Frank, but it can't match the excitement of Boone's. Before we cut away, we see the dirt pile up on Dead Locke's mid-section. Poor bastard.
L.A. Reality; Live Locke's Bed: His alarm rings -- it sounds just like mine, but more importantly, it sounds a lot the alarm that used to sound in the hatch. Locke gets himself out of bed and into his chair. He dresses and proceeds to the bathroom, where he looks in the mirror -- like New Reality Jack and Kate before him. He takes out Jack's card and contemplates it for a minute, and then whips out his cell phone and dials. When a woman answers, "Hello, Dr. Shephard's office, can I help you," Locke hesitates before he says, "No, no you can't," and hangs up. Just then, Helen, wearing a shirt that reads Peace & Karma, enters the adjoining room and starts making the bed. At first Locke lies that no one was on the phone, but then he admits that he was calling Dr. Shephard. Helen is pleased until Locke tells her he's not going to see him. By way of explanation, he says, "I got fired Helen," which is true, and good for Locke, but that's hardly an answer. They're interrupted by the doorbell, though. Oceanic is delivering Locke's lost luggage. I wonder if Jack's getting a similar delivery right now. Helen wheels Locke's knife case into the kitchen and asks how he got fired. Locke tells her that he didn't go to the conference in Sydney, and has her open up his luggage. He tells her all about his futile attempts to go on a walkabout. "And I sat there yelling at them -- shouting at them that they couldn't tell me what I can't do. But.. .they were right. I'm sick of imagining what my life could be out of this chair, Helen -- what it would be like to walk down the aisle, Helen, because it's not going to happen." He understands if Helen needs him to see Jack, but says he doesn't want her to spend her life waiting for a miracle, "Because... there's no such thing!" Wow. Helen, for her part, is moved to tenderness and tells Locke there are miracles, but the only thing she was ever waiting for was him. She tears up Jack's card and they kiss. I am not crying. Shut up.
Island Reality; Way Too High Cliff: When Faucke says they have to climb down, Sawyer says, "No offense, but you already died. So it's great that this is not a big deal for you, but if you think I'm climbing down there first, you are off your damn nut." And Sawyer, if you're willing to climb down there second, third, or 108th, you're off your damn nut. Faucke is glad to go first. The two descend a rickety bamboo and rope ladder, which ends way before the cliff face does. Faucke then transfers to an even ricketier looking rope and bamboo ladder (more rope than bamboo) and waits for Sawyer. Right before James reaches the end of the first one, a rung gives way. He almost falls, but manages to get himself onto to the second ladder. Faucke is now on a third one (more bamboo). I didn't notice before. Are any of these Jacob's Ladder? Anyhow, Faucke waits there safely and securely as the top of Sawyer's ladder comes unhooked from the cliff. He swings through the air and down, down, down. Faucke calls his name, reaches out, grabs him, and pulls him over to safety of the third ladder. Sawyer is suddenly more than happy to go first, and scurries to the bottom, quickly.
Faucke then leads Sawyer into a cliffside cave filled with various stuff, but the most prominent object is a scale. On one side sits a white rock; there's a black rock on the other. Faucke picks up the white rock and casts it into the sea. When Sawyer asks what that was about, Faucke says, "Inside joke." Sawyer asks if this is why he's here. Faucke lights a torch. "No." He leads Sawyer into an another chamber and raises the torch high. "That's why you're here." He then actually, physically passes the torch to Sawyer, who accepts it wordlessly, and steps deeper into it. The torchlight illuminates countless names scrawled on the cave. Faucke says, "That, James, is why you're here." Most of the names are crossed out, and we don't get a good long look at them yet, but a few are legible and not crossed out. Among them: "16 JARRAH" and "8 REYES." Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Commercial.
L.A. Reality; School Gym: Locke leads a girls' gym class through some sprints. , he's in a classroom, telling students to open their books to chapter 4. "Today we are going to talk about...the human reproductive system." Oh my word, he's a sub, and I'd bet folding money that the teacher he's covering for right now is sitting home laughing and laughing about sticking some non-union sucker with the sex talk. After class, Locke wheels his way down the hall. He stops a male, African American student (I wish it were Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalt) and asks him the way to the teachers' lounge. In the lounge, various teachers are reading, eating and whatnot. Ryan, over at Zap2It, thinks the woman doing the crossword puzzle might be Harper Stanhope. I'm not so sure, she looks older to me, but that could just be the shot. Regardless, she's not our focus, here. There's one teacher with his back to the group. He's fussing at the counter about how nobody ever throws out the used coffee filter. "Fear not... I will make a fresh pot." We know the voice. We know his frame, but I'll let him speak his own name. Locke wheels up behind Professor Pickypants. "Actually, I was hoping for some Earl Grey." Prof. Pickypants turns around. "Tea? Now there's a gentleman's drink." He walks forward and extends his hand to Locke. "I don't believe we've met. Ben Linus, European history." Locke shakes his hand. "John Locke. Substitute." Ben says, "Well, welcome!" Locke smiles and we cut to...
Island Reality; Jacob and/or Esau's Nerd Hole: Sawyer looks around at all the names scrawled all over the rock and asks who wrote it. Faucke says, "His name was Jacob." Sawyer picks up on that was, so Faucke explains that Jacob died yesterday. Sawyer mentions Faucke doesn't seem all broken up about it. Faucke says, "I'm not." When Sawyer wants to know why the names are crossed out, Faucke shows him they're not. Sawyer reads: "Shephard." There's a 23 in front of it, but he doesn't mention that. Instead, we flash back to Jacob touching Jack as he hands him the Apollo Bar at St. Sebastian's. Faucke takes back the torch and shows Sawyer another name. Sawyer looks up, "Reyes, that's Hugo, right? What's the 8 about?" We flash back to Hurley's post-jail cab encounter with Jacob. Faucke says, "Jacob had a thing for numbers." , he reads "16 Jarrah," as we cut to Jacob touching Sayid right before Nadia's death. Faucke then says, "42, Kwon. I don't know if it's Sun, or if it's Jin." In the flashback, Jacob lays his hands on the couple when he greets them in their wedding reception line. People have been quick to point out that in the new reality, Sun seems to be using her Paik surname. Others says Korean women don't take their husband's names, but still others point out that before this season, Sun was addressed as Mrs. Kwon. Right now, I'm inclined to think it matters little. 42 is a big number, and Jacob touched them both. , Faucke reads, "4, Locke. I think we both know him. Jacob touches a seemingly dead Locke after his father defenestrates him.. Faucke turns and takes a few steps and shines the torch on the name and number written right over Sawyer's head. "Last, but not least, number 15, Ford."
Sawyer asks Faucke, "Why would he write my name on this wall. I never even met the guy." Faucke insists he must have. We flash back to Jacob handing young and newly orphaned James Ford a pen after his parents' funeral. Faucke continues: "At some point in your life, James, probably when you were young -- when you miserable and vulnerable -- he came to you. He manipulated you -- pulled your strings like you were a puppet, and as a result choices that you thought you made were never really choices at all. He was pushing you, James -- pushing you to the island." Sawyer shakes his head. "Why the hell would he do that?" Faucke tells Sawyer he is a "candidate." He explains that Jacob "thought" he was the protector of the island. "And you, James, have been nominated to take over that job." Faucke passes the torch back again, while telling James his three choices: The first is to do nothing and see how everything plays out. Faucke crosses out Locke's name as he says it's possible James' name will be crossed out. The second option is to accept the job, become the new Jacob and protect the island. Sawyer asks, "Protect it from what?" Faucke raises his voice. "From nothing, James. That's the joke. There's nothing to protect it from. It's just a damned island and it will be perfectly fine without Jacob, or you, or any of the other people whose lives he's wasted." That smells like a lie to me. Sawyer would like to know what's behind door number three. Faucke says, "The third choice, James, is that we just go. We just get the hell off this island and we never look back." Faucke says they do that, "Together," and walks toward Sawyer. "So what do you say, James? Are you ready to go home?" Sawyer looks around and closes his eyes for a moment. Finally, he looks at Faucke. "Hell, yes." Fade to black. Title Card. Bad Robot!
Okay, to review. 4: Locke; 8: Reyes; 15: Ford; 16: Jarrah; 23: Shephard; 42: Kwon. We still don't know what the hell the numbers mean, and I'm starting to think we're never going to get a detailed explanation, but that's something, at least. I guess. Look, I'm just trying to enjoy these few remaining hours without putting on my ranty pants. Darlton should thank Ronald D. Moore for lowering the bar with his Battlestar Galactica series finale. If, when this series bows, I refrain from beating my head against the fieldstone wall in my backyard, Lost totally wins.
Anyhow, I do wonder, since Locke's name has been crossed out, does that mean someone else is (now/actually) associated with number 4? Could that be Austen -- or is she just not on this list? In "Par Avion" we learn she's not on (at least one of) Jacob's list(s). But of course, we also learn that Sayid and Locke aren't on a/the list, either, and yet here they are. How many lists does Jacob have, anyhow? Ben indicated there were lists aplenty, before he killed Jacob. I'm not even sure we should accept that this particular list is Jacob's. His quarters in the statue base were clean, orderly, homey, softly lit. He wove tapestry, for pity's sake. This cave is in disarray. Similarly, there's no order to the list -- which strikes me as odd if the list was composed by a man who we're told has a thing for numbers. Not to mention the cave is damned hard to get to (not that that would hold Jacob back). Maybe Faucke is lying and this is his/Smokey's domain. Harking back to what Richard told Sawyer and Boy's reminder to Faucke, maybe this is Faucke's list and he has to (get someone else to) kill the rest of the people on it. He sure crossed off Locke's name like it was an old habit. I don't know. Perhaps the cave is a demilitarized zone. Maybe it's just a tunnel waiting for a cigar.
I have questions about who the names truly represent. Faucke admits he doesn't know which Kwon is on the list. It seems like Shephard must be Jack, but if so, that leads me back to the Which List Is The List question, since in "I Do," Danny indicates Jack isn't on Jacob's list. Of course there's Christian and Grandpa Ray Shephard, or even, if we want to stretch it -- Claire and Aaron. Lostpedia, which has been a godsend for this sort of speculation (and in general) has a list of other names and numbers spotted in the cave. You'll see familiar ones like Straume, Burke, Linus, Littleton (which means I'm likely stretching it too far considering Aaron and Claire under the Shephard name), as well as Chang, Faraday, Goodspeed, Pace, Mars. As far as I know, no one has yet spotted Austen.