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By Daniel

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Rose and Bernard are an old, married couple, but they're also newlyweds. Rose shakes Bernard out of 56 years of bachelorhood, and he proposes to her at Niagara Falls after knowing her for just five months. This is when she tells him she's got cancer -- the big casino -- and her doctor says she has a year, tops, to live. This really lights a fire under Bernard's ass, and on their honeymoon in Australia, he arranges for Rose to meet a faith healer, much to her dismay. But the faith healer tells her he can't help her, which is not to say that she can't be helped; she just needs to find the right place. Rose lies and tells Bernard that he healed her -- and then she discovers after the crash that the island turned her lie into the truth. Know why she thinks the island healed her? Because in the airport, waiting to board, she happened to have a passing encounter with the formerly wheelchair-bound Locke.

On the island, Bernard is applying his single-minded determination to getting them off the island. Considering that the Dharma food drop must have come from a plane, Bernard bullies a bunch of extras to helping him start a giant S.O.S. sign on the beach (glad someone finally thought of that, like TWO MONTHS after crashing). But they all desert him because he acts like a dick -- until Rose comes clean; after all, if getting off the island means the cancer comes back, they're not leaving.

Jack and Kate head out into the jungle with the intent to let the Others know they have Faux Henry, and hope to work out a deal to get Walt back, whoever that is. Along the way they get caught in a trap designed to press their taut, sweaty bodies up against each other. They have no luck finding the Others; they're greeted, instead, by a worse-for-wear Michael, whoever that is. Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Rose is stocking the bamboo shelving unit that I presume someone whipped up simply to hold the big grocery drop from a couple of episodes ago. She takes a moment to chide Bernard, who has committed the mortal sin of putting the cereal on the right instead of the left. You know, with the wild boars and God knows what else on this island, how about storing the foodstuffs a little farther away from where people sleep? Bernard's bothered by the food drop (which explains why he's been scowling right from the start of the scene), and he's even more annoyed that Rose is so unquestioning about the whole thing: "You're acting like we just got back from the supermarket." She annoyingly says that she was raised not to question her blessings. Yeah, well, Bernard was raised to question parachuted food dropped on an island where they crash-landed. I don't want to sound like I'm choosing sides, but Bernard is totally right. But according to Rose, he's just having a bad day, which is no excuse for him to raise his voice, which he hasn't. He bitches that he had seven weeks' worth of bad days on the other side of the island just trying to survive so that they could be together again. Poor Rose, if he's going to try to win every argument by pulling out that card every time. "But here…my God, Rose, they build a kitchen on the beach! They've given up!" Given up on what, Rose wants to know. "On getting rescued," says Bernard. Something tells me that Bernard's about to get all, "Well, not on my watch!" about it. Oh, goody. Rose looks like I feel, and Bernard seems a little nonplussed by her lack of enthusiasm.

Down the hatch, the timer's beeping, but Locke's paying it no mind. He's trying to sketch out what he remembers of the black-light map. He's got one of those crazy Apollo chocolate bars, which must be his reward for when he gets it right. Fortunately for everyone's sanity, it's just circles and lines and a question mark, so hopefully that means there's no need for screencap on enhanced screencap to be posted. He's working so hard that when the one-minute alarm starts going off, he doesn't even notice; it takes Jack to snap him out of his reverie so he can enter the numbers and reset the alarm, with a little hand flourish at the end because he's so irritated. And Jack keeps staring at Locke like he can't believe how useless Locke is these days. "Condescending martyr" doesn't work for you, Jack. Locke stares at the timer thoughtfully for a few moments, and goes back to work.

Jack strolls over to where Ana-Lucia is reading a big book (and you should check the first word on pages 4, 8 -- oh, never mind, they never show what book it is).