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Wow, this episode was idiotic. Patrick, due to events I would collectively describe as A BIT contrived, becomes increasingly jealous of Ed's relationship with Theresa and his kids. Meanwhile, Johnny is feeling the pressure from Barry to get Patrick to honor the CONTRACT he signed and do a promo, which he finally agrees to after he's already feeling like his days with Ed as his trainer might be numbered. Ed, however, turns up early to the shoot and flips out, which is the last straw for Patrick, and he cans him. However, when Ed goes to get his stuff from the gym, he gets into a physical altercation with Johnny (who once again is just AWESOME in a fight, by the way), and in trying to break them up, Patrick gets stabbed with a pair of scissors in Johnny's hand, which: GREAT. I mean, other than a little information revealed about Theresa's father, nothing happened this episode that didn't have to do with Ed and Patrick, and all we have to show for it is a flesh wound? This show just doesn't have enough story to support placing the Reynolds rematch at Episode Thirteen. (Or at Episode Ten, if I'm being honest, but that would have been a lot better.)
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!At an aquarium, Ed is evangelizing about the beauty of sharks to Patrick and Katie, with lots of talk about form following function and economy of movement and the like, and I'm wondering if this means Ed coached Mike Tyson for that fight with Evander Holyfield. Katie impatiently expresses her desire to go see the penguins, so Ed has to make a big show of telling her even scary things have weaknesses, and you can see that if you study your enemy. Over Patrick's objections, he picks her up and has her touch the glass, exhorting her to make herself mentally strong, and when she tells him not to drop her and he gravels that he's got her, Patrick looks like maybe he's getting a little tired of Ed's way of doing things. And I'm all for keeping things moving, but geez, Patrick, just don't go to the goddamn aquarium time. Credits.
We're at Coney Island, where Reynolds is doing a little walk-and-talk with a reporter or segment producer on camera, as apparently it's where he grew up. Johnny and Barry follow alongside as the interviewer gushes that the ups and downs of Reynolds's childhood were emulative of the rides surrounding them, but Reynolds opines that he grew up with "a lot more downs than ups," and points to some nearby projects past an above-ground train as he says that that's where he learned to be a fighter, and he had no choice in the matter. He adds that it was sometime later, though, that he learned to be a man, and you don't have to be a producer to know that him staring contemplatively into the middle distance after that line is the perfect place to cut. The woman, "Charlie," then barks at Johnny and asks where the hell Patrick is, and Johnny claims Patrick's got a family emergency, like, I can't believe Johnny would book this without even having had contact with Patrick, as apparently this isn't the first time he's been a no-show. After Charlie storms off without buying any of what Johnny's selling, Reynolds seethes that he can smell Ed and his mind games all over this, and after he stomps away, Johnny tries to commiserate with Barry about the messenger getting shot, but Barry counters that he doesn't blame Reynolds -- it wasn't easy for him to come back to this neighborhood, but he met his professional obligations. Johnny tells Barry about Patrick's new training schedule, but Barry tells him they had an agreement -- The Box's people need all access to Patrick. He then serves Johnny with papers for breach of contract, and I can't say I blame him at all. And Patrick, they even have a fucking aquarium on Coney Island! How much easier did you want this to be?
At the gym, Stacy Keach finishes packing up some of his stuff and then steps out to watch Ed and Patrick train. After a few moments, he calls out and says he's off, and Patrick invites him to stay and watch for a bit, but Stacy Keach tells him he can see he's in good hands. There's no palpable bitterness or sarcasm there, but after Stacy Keach leaves, Ed still has to bark at Patrick to snap him out of his reverie, and says it's time for the tire...
...and then he's ducking the speed bag each time it comes at his head as he balances on a tire. Patrick tells Ed about the recent time that Stacy Keach tied his legs together while training, and Ed agrees that Patrick has balance problems, and credits Stacy Keach for noticing even as he opines that his fix was wrong. He holds up a stopwatch, which Patrick unhappily notes means it's time to run tires, "again," and then we see Holt McCallany earn his paycheck some more as he runs through a set of tires on the floor before working the heavy bag long and hard, after which Ed puts a hand on the back of Patrick's head and tells him how much faster he's gotten. Patrick seems happy to hear that, but then a car horn honks outside, and Patrick asks if Ed can give him five minutes. Ed allows him two, so Patrick heads outside...
...and I'm guessing he recognized this particular horn blast, as when he opens the door he sees his old car, fully restored from the accident with the married hooker. He's thrilled, and Johnny tells him the restoration cost twenty grand (he... didn't have insurance? Maybe with their financial difficulties he'd gone to a stripped-down policy), but that the restorer apparent did it for free to get their name on as a co-promoter for the fight. Not sure Johnny could do that without Barry's say-so, but whatever; Johnny turns the subject to boxing, first expressing surprise that Ed isn't having Patrick spar yet before guilt-tripping Patrick that they never see him anymore. "Dad's convinced [Ed]'s trying to cut us out of your life." Despite the fact that Ed did say EXACTLY that, Patrick tells him that's not what's going on -- it's just that they're working on new things, and Ed doesn't want him distracted, "by my deadbeat, soul-sucking family," he neglects to add. Johnny asks if they can talk business when "Sister Ed" (Huh? "Mister Ed" I would have gotten, but he definitely said "Sister" -- did he eff that up?) isn't around, but Ed, who apparently opened the heavy gym door with no noise whatsoever because it was convenient to the scene, intones that he's always around before telling Patrick that his two minutes are up. Patrick heads back in, but Ed lingers long enough to stare Johnny down...
...and then inside, he's telling Patrick that he cautioned Johnny not to interfere, but Patrick is apparently wondering the same thing that Johnny did, as he asks Ed when he's going to start sparring. Ed, however, tells him he doesn't want him taking any punches, and when Patrick asks about lifting some weights, as he's seen that Reynolds is a lot bigger than the last time they fought, Ed tells him that all that new muscle on a boxer prevents energy release, and assures Patrick that Reynolds hasn't been in a war since their bout, and he's is bulking up because he's feeling afraid. "The more the knight is scared, the more the armor he puts on." Well, I'm no guru like Ed here, but for someone regularly taking on broadswords and fire-breathing dragons, I always thought armor was a sensible precaution. Ed concludes that if Patrick takes Reynolds to a bad place in the ring, he will fold, but Patrick doesn't look convinced...
...and we're certainly not getting much panic from Reynolds as we cut to him meditating and doing a little yoga or tai chi when his wife comes in with his crying baby, saying the phone woke him up. Reynolds takes his boy as his wife tells him it's Barry on the line, but Reynolds tells her he can wait, as he's with his son now, and the wife offers, "The king and his little prince." Uch. Reynolds is fine, but talk like that is still cheap and irritating. You're his wife, not his Queen Consort. Anyway, all this is so Reynolds can take a walk and use his son as a prop so we can hear him express his inner monologue, which doesn't even make much sense. Basically, whatever mind games may be happening, Reynolds isn't afraid of anyone, and no one's going to take away what he and his family have. Great!
Back in the Leary kitchen, Daniella and Ed are drying dishes (because this five million square foot place doesn't have a dishwasher) as Daniella takes the long way around to bring up famous boxers who have succumbed to dementia, so Ed assures her that he's teaching Patrick how not to get hit, and he's going to take very good care of him. At this moment, however, Patrick comes downstairs and sees his daughter in tears in Ed's presence, and after she hastily withdraws, Patrick's facial expression asks what the hell that was all about. Ed assures him that everything's fine, but he might be better served to tell Patrick what Daniella was worried about before sending him off on his run. Actually, he might be better served to lock himself in his room so as not to have any contact with any Leary but Patrick, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Patrick is running when Johnny catches him (in his car; I haven't seen Johnny do one bit of exercise on this show with his pants up, and I doubt he's going to start in the middle of the night) and asks if "Yoda" is with him. Heh, I'll give him that one. After Patrick stops, Johnny gets out of the car, subpoena in hand, and tells him about Barry, adding that he's not getting paid ten million dollars just for the part where he takes punches. I mean, I'm not Johnny's biggest fan, but I don't get why this is so hard to comprehend. Patrick's biggest concern in this fight is money, yet he doesn't care that they're in breach of contract that will lead to enormous fines? Regardless, Patrick's ready to take off until Johnny snits "Nice knowing you" at him, which is enough for him to turn around and invite Johnny to lunch the day. Johnny accepts, and then the two of them go their separate ways...
...and when Patrick returns, he confesses in response to Ed's question that he's late because of Johnny, although that scene took about two minutes so I don't know what Ed's on about. Patrick could have stopped to tie his shoes a couple times, right? Anyway, Patrick tells Ed about the need to do promotions, but Ed doesn't want to hear it, and I get that the guy is stubborn but (a) Patrick SIGNED A CONTRACT, and (b) surely Ed must have had to allow interviews for his fighters before, right? This is just such a manufactured conflict. Patrick tells him about the legal fees and penalties, so Ed tells him to take it out of his cut, like, there may be a cash flow issue here, Ed. Patrick presses his case a bit more, but Ed won't hear it, and then asks why Patrick signed with Barry anyway. Not wanting to bring up Johnny's involvement in that mess, Patrick tells him it's a long story, but Ed opines, "I bet it isn't." Ed's not a big fan of picking his battles, is he? They head for the gym...
The sun is up, and Theresa's already dressed and making the bed when Patrick shuffles in. After he tells her training was good but he's tired, she asks if they can meet for lunch, and look, after training all night doesn't he need seven or eight hours sleep, at least? What is this "lunch" people keep talking about? Patrick tells her he has plans with Johnny, who's feeling left out, and Theresa tells him not to let his brother guilt him. This scene is boring, so let's get to the other bit of relevant info, which is that Ed invited Theresa to the gym to watch Patrick train...
...and then Patrick's wolfing down some pizza as he tells Johnny not to tell Ed. Johnny thinks that won't be an issue, since he never sees the guy anyway, and then Patrick scarfs down another half a pie (no WAY he dropped so much weight under Stacy Keach, if this is how he was eating) before he tells Johnny the bad news about Ed and the promos. Upon hearing that Ed will finance any penalties with his cut, Johnny wonders what the man's damage is, but Patrick says it doesn't matter -- he'll do a promo without Ed, as long as the network's okay with that. Johnny opines that they'll take what they can get, but wonders about Ed; Patrick, however, tells him he'll never know...
...but speaking of surreptitious activities, Theresa and Ed are having some dinner and wine at the gym, which is pretty bizarre, I have to say. I mean, I know they live half an hour away, but Theresa's been up since the wee hours, and she's waiting to eat dinner until the dead of night? Also, speaking of sleep, when does she get any? And what trainer drinks before an all-night session? These questions are not to be answered, but we do delve into a subject of interest, as Ed asks Theresa about her "first life" in England, and Theresa, after a moment, confesses that she grew up in a small town in Surrey, and things were great until she was about Daniella's age, at which point she learned that her father, a doctor, was cheating on his mother with countless women and also robbed the hospital he worked for blind. Now that would have been a TV show. Theresa goes on that she came to the States as soon as she could and changed her name, and you'd think if covering up her roots was so important to her she would have done something about THAT ACCENT, but Ed takes her hand and tells her that everyone's running away from something. "You found a good place to stop." That's... kind of a silly pair of lines, but OF COURSE Patrick enters at that very moment and stares at them for a year, like, the friction over the training is one thing, but this feels AWFULLY contrived. Last week he was telling you to get your marriage freak on, and now you think he's getting your wife to step out on you? This is going to be one great training session.
In the morning, Patrick returns to find Theresa in bed, and after she tells him she traded shifts, she invites him to join her for a little sumpin' sumpin', if you want to use the technical term. Patrick, however, looks at her like she's suddenly covered in warts, and it's unsubtle enough that she asks him what's up, so he inquires what she and Ed were talking about when he entered. Theresa confesses they were discussing her father, which gets Patrick's hackles up some more, as it took her two years to even mention him to Patrick. Rather than point out that the wounds were just a bit fresher so many years ago when they met, Theresa opines that that's just Ed's way, at which point Patrick whines that Ed is always testing him, LIKE A TRAINER WOULD AND ESPECIALLY STACY KEACH DID, you mean? Theresa suggests that maybe he discuss that with Ed like a rational human being, but Patrick sniffs that he'd just find a way to turn it around and blame his family, and tells her Ed wants him to cut his Bayonne blood out of his life. Theresa corrects him that he just wants that for the couple months before inviting him to bed again, but Patrick's suspicious of her attentions and asks if Ed put her up to them. She expresses surprise but doesn't confirm or deny, so Patrick sulks his way into the shower. These people, God. I don't have to like the characters if the story is well-told, but I vary between wanting to strangle all of them and thinking it's not worth the energy.
That night, Patrick is beating the shit out of the heavy bag when Ed calls him off and tells him they're done for the evening, as he doesn't like what he's seeing -- there's no flow, and Patrick is just trying to muscle the thing. He suggests that Patrick take the night to consider why they might have regressed, and when Patrick is less than forthcoming, speculates that he's upset about coming back and seeing Ed and Theresa together. Patrick admits that that might be the case, so Ed tells him he walked in on an intimate conversation, "and that armor of yours came right back on." Patrick, with some belligerence, says that he trusts Theresa, so Ed counters that he hopes Patrick trusts him, too, and adds that he'd never do anything to betray him. This deflates Patrick's anger, and he offers that it's just because he and Theresa never see each other that he got upset, and he shouldn't have. Ed, however, sees this as a positive, speculating that when Patrick walked in, he experienced an old hurt that preceded him and even Theresa. He stretches Patrick's arms while going on that Patrick went into his shell and tensed up, and blathers for a while longer about how, basically, if Patrick would stay emotionally centered, he'd be a better fighter. It's during this speech, however, that you can really see Patrick start to check out of this relationship, and he tells Ed they should call it a night...
...and then, the day, he's on the phone with Johnny, saying he can only spare a few hours. He then asks about Stacy Keach and gets, from his reaction, some surprising news, at which point Ed comes in, prompting Patrick to get off the phone with a "Bye, Dad." Ed asks after Stacy Keach, and Patrick relays the news he just got from Johnny that he's decided to take the first vacation of his life and go on a fishing trip down South. Ed gives Stacy Keach and Margaret credit for not interfering, but Patrick doesn't have time to address the thinly-veiled dig at Johnny, instead saying he's got to go to Stacy Keach's house and pack up some of his stuff and send it to him. He asks Ed if he'd drop him off there and then go pick up the girls from day camp (Katie) and soccer (Daniella), which I guess means that Patrick's sensitivity to Ed getting close to his family is trumped by his inclination toward being a LYING LIAR WHO LIES. Ed jokes that he's turning into a regular soccer mom, ha ha. Because of the soccer?
We learn that the part about Stacy Keach, at least, is all true, as Patrick's over at his place on the phone with him. Stacy Keach, by a lake, tells Patrick about some videos of Reynolds's old fights he has upstairs before asking how the training's going. Patrick confesses that he misses Stacy Keach yelling at him, but Stacy Keach tells him he should listen to Ed, and that he made a good choice. He then tells him that when the fight's over, "after you win," they should sit down and have a talk, and Patrick agrees...
...and then Patrick's taping his segment in the ring at the gym, as he says he learned to box there -- his father was a trainer when he was a kid. He expresses pride in having his name on the place, and then Charlie the segment producer cuts the scene and asks Barry where the hell his guy is. We pan over to Barry, who's holding his phone as he intones, "I hate boxers." Heh. He's the only character on this show I can count on for a laugh.
Reynolds is swimming in his little indoor pool when his wife comes in, and he tells her he's not so much going to the interview, since Patrick didn't go to Coney Island. Eh, not really caring, sorry. (Apathy at least means less typing for me.)
Charlie is not so pleased to hear that news, and after she stomps off to call the network, Barry asks Patrick if there's a chance he and Reynolds will show up for the fight. Patrick assures him he doesn't have to worry, and then Charlie returns and suggests they talk about Ed. Patrick is reluctant, but agrees to five minutes; unfortunately, he's more like five seconds into it when Ed enters the gym and asks what the hell is going on. Everyone just stands there like they were having a party and someone's parents just came home early, like, IT ISN'T HIS GYM, Jesus. Johnny at least steps forward and tells him they're doing a promo, which is a contractual obligation, although they'll understand if he doesn't want to participate. Ed, however, barks for everyone to get out, and I don't know why they'd listen, but Barry apparently has had enough of this shit (understandable, given Reynolds's bailing on him) and leaves. Ed then growls at Johnny that he knows this was his idea, which NOT EXACTLY, SINCE IT'S IN THE CONTRACT, and continues to behave like an ass as the camera guys eagerly continue to film him, which is the one thing in this scene that would actually happen in real life. However, when Ed notices, he goes and attacks the cameramen, which always works out real well, and Patrick has to pull him off and yell at him to get into Stacy Keach's office...
...wherein Ed gravels that this is their space and Patrick has just "dishonored" all of their work, which is A BIT MUCH and CONTRACT, and then orders Patrick to go for his run and "figure out why you did this to me," and while Patrick was definitely being an idiot before, I'm definitely over Ed at this point, so when he asks why Patrick's trying to sabotage their relationship and what he's so afraid of, I can't really blame Patrick for telling him he's going home. With a hard look, he exits the office, leaving Ed to look around all "I have been BETRAYED AGAIN!" Ed, to paraphrase the wonderful Cordelia Chase, perhaps it's time you visited Decafland?
Apparently, this thing with Ed is weighing on Patrick's mind rather heavily, if the fact that he's come to his priest for advice is any indication. He tells the guy that while Ed has him in the best shape of his life, he's still never gone into a fight without his brother and father in his corner. The priest agrees with me when he points out that Patrick has never come to him for advice before, and wonders to whom he normally talks. Patrick doesn't exactly answer the question, you may not be surprised to hear given his tendency to take everything on himself and tell massive lies in aid of that habit, but says that in this case, Theresa and the girls love Ed, but Ed thinks Johnny and the rest are "poison," which, as over Ed as I have recently grown, isn't exactly what he said. The priest tells Patrick that usually when people come in to ask him a question, they already know the answer, and the best thing you could say about that advice is that it's free. Nevertheless, Patrick seems to make up his mind...
...and he comes into Ed's room to can him. Ed leads off by apologizing for his behavior the day before, but even though he says he was "dead wrong," Patrick won't be swayed, saying training with Ed has been really tough on him. Ed, sensing where this is going, gets some desperation in his voice as he says he knows, and suggests they go upstate to his gym where there won't be any distractions, but Patrick tells him no. His tone pleading, Ed tells him they're doing good work, and he knows Patrick can feel the difference, but Patrick tells him he doesn't know how to do this without his family. Yeesh, give me a break. I mean, for one thing, he and Johnny were estranged until like five minutes before the El Diablo fight, and what's more, we're talking TEN MILLION DOLLARS here. This guy's an expert generally and on Reynolds specifically and has you in better shape than ever, and you're going to go back to Stacy Keach, at whom you've spent the last five years pissed off about his coaching AGAINST REYNOLDS? He can do what he wants, obviously, but I don't think he's being honest here (I think it's his jealousy issues more than anything that are driving this decision), and with so much at stake you'd think he'd grow up a little, here. Anyway, they go back and forth for a while longer, but Patrick finally tells him in no uncertain terms that he can't work with him anymore, and Ed, after taking a moment, gives the most wounded smile I've ever seen as he tells Patrick he won't pressure him further. He asks Patrick for a minute, and after Patrick leaves, he sinks down to the floor...
...and then Ed's just told Daniella what happened, and she's distraught, of course, because she's afraid no one will protect Patrick now. Well, that and because "distraught" is kind of her default setting. She offers to talk to Patrick for him, but Ed declines and then gives her a St. Anthony's medallion. She identifies St. Anthony as "the patron saint of lost items," which I guess means he has the largest collection of left socks in the universe, but he corrects her that it's "all things lost." She asks, "Even memory?" because GOD FORBID she have a scene in which she doesn't mention the damn dementia. I'd like to forget about it, but I'm not being given the chance.
Downstairs, Katie is pitching a fit about Ed leaving, and Patrick of course doesn't take any responsibility for it, and then Theresa enters and wonders what's going on, like, Patrick didn't even tell Theresa about it in advance? I realize this is a big house, but you'd think he'd make time to walk over to the East Wing and let her in on the news. Ed then appears and insists that Katie say goodbye properly and tells her they'll always be friends, and I don't know how that's going to work, but I'd suppose it was comforting if I cared about this maudlin bit between a child actor and a two-episodes-and-off character, but I don't...
...so let's cut to the gym, to which Patrick has driven Ed so he can get his things. Unfortunately, when Ed goes inside, he finds Johnny moving his stuff around, and the two of them get into it fairly quickly, with Ed telling him he's completely full of shit and a coward. With them in each other's faces and Johnny yelling that he doesn't need this crap, Ed turns up the growl-volume as he says Johnny won't stop until he bleeds Patrick dry, and then pushes Johnny as he calls him "garbage." Garbage... I mean "Johnny" hauls off and hits Ed in the face, a favor that's quickly returned, and then once again we get to see how awesome a boxing talent Johnny is as Ed starts kicking his ass. Outside, Patrick hears something suspicious, and when he enters, he finds Ed literally choking the life out of Johnny, which I guess means Johnny's as good at grappling as he is at boxing. As Patrick rushes over, Johnny manages to reach into a drawer, pull out a pair of scissors, and swing -- and stabs his brother in the side. GREAT. Patrick hilariously says he's cut as he sinks to the ground, and Ed, quickly all business, tells Johnny to get the car as he takes off his outer shirt and applies pressure to the wound. Ed, cradling Patrick loosely, tells him he's got him, and we're out. Ugh. Manufactured through and through, but now we know what Patrick's obstacle is, I guess. See you week.
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John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. He writes about film and television on his blog "Pull Up A Chair," which he would just love for you to visit. Also, you can follow him on Twitter here, or get information about his most recent film "East Fifth Bliss," starring Michael C. Hall, Lucy Liu, and Peter Fonda, on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr.