In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
First things first: With Picker trying to convince Wynn he might want to start thinking of Boyd as a liability to be cut loose, Wynn calls an old associate, played by MARY STEENBURGEN, who seems to be his crime mentor; in any case, he asks her, with Detroit and Harlan coming into sharp conflict, with which side he should throw his lot in. She offers to make an in-person "assessment" for a cool fifty grand, while Boyd pays (presumably) Teri to seduce Albert, and the thing you know, Albert is bound and sniveling in Boyd's office about how he loves Ava and didn't have the power to make her his. He's so pathetic that Boyd lets him go, which is surprising but lets us know how bummed out Boyd's life is making him.
Dewey collects all the horse from the car and calls Boyd to demand a quarter million, after which Darryl can have the whorehouse and Dewey will never be heard from again. For his part, Darryl is packing up some mostly fake cash to take to Dewey – not with any intention of letting him live to realize the deception – when Raylan walks into Audrey's. He quickly smacks Darryl in the face with the case and opens it without benefit of warrant; he then confiscates it and chats with a couple of the ladies who are loyal to Dewey in order to secure his phone number. There's then a bunch of stuff with Dickie Bennett, which is enjoyable but comes to nothing, so we can wait for the full version, I think.
Boyd comes to prison with the news that he's tracked down Albert and intends to make him recant the statement that put Ava in State, but Ava tells him, essentially, that it's too late for that – there are things she has to do to survive that he can't be a part of. Later, Ava has Judith alone on the toilet with a blade in her hand, but Penny happens by to kill the moment. Later still, however, Penny tells her she saw Ava's shiv – and she wants Ava to kill Judith too. You see, Penny got knocked up from all those guard relations she had at Judith's behest and had to get rid of the pregnancy (ies?), and as such she thinks she doesn't mean anything to Judith. She supplies Ava with a better weapon with which to do the deed, and Ava catches her alone in the chapel. Judith, having a brain in her head, is hardly surprised, but Ava tells her she doesn't like Rowena's game and would rather work with Judith. Judith, however, doesn't trust this change of heart and attacks – and soon she's lying bloody and dead on the floor.
Allison comes home to find Kendal waiting for her -- but she calls Wendy on the sly, and when Wendy takes Kendal back to Audrey's, he tells Danny about Chelsea's fate – and then, when Danny threatens to kill him, he lets everyone know about Danny offing Jean-Baptiste. Darryl is insanely pissed, but he has to hold it together long enough to send Danny after Dewey, as Boyd has heard back from the dealer about Dewey trying to unload all that weight. Danny turns up, and the dealer allows Dewey to leave empty-handed but alive, taking three bricks commission and giving the rest to Danny. However, when Danny's back outside Audrey's grieving for Chelsea, Raylan catches him and offers to leave his kin out of any arrests he might make if Danny will own up to the drugs in his bag with a minimum of fuss. Danny, however, sees fit to try out the twenty-one-foot rule, and he charges Raylan – before falling into the grave he's dug for Chelsea and impaling himself on his own knife. Raylan worries that the rest of the Crowes might take out their frustration at Danny's death on Allison, so he prevails on an exasperated Art to arrange protection for her. For her part, Wendy tells Darryl that now they need to leave more than ever, and they end up getting into it physically, which leaves Wendy writhing on the floor in pain and a desperate Darryl going to Kendal and making a blood pact with him and telling him he's now a man. I think that's not good for anyone, least of all Kendal.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!On the Audrey's grounds, Kendal is impatiently waiting for Chelsea to do her dirty business when Chelsea hears a cat and takes off; Kendal runs after her, but as she bounds into the road, a pick-up hits her. I mean, we don't actually see the impact, but just for story reasons alone, it's high time that dog went to the Great Big Bone Yard in the Sky, no? Also, the truck barely slows down before taking off, if that matters to you.
It's now morning, and as Dewey unchains the drug car from the tow truck, he crows into the phone about his "grand design" and how he was biding his time "like a predator drone" and whatever -- without realizing that the car as a necessity for being towed is in neutral, so the upshot is that after Dewey gets a bag out of the truck he turns to see the thing rolling down the road. As a vehicle passes the other way, Dewey chases "his" car as fast as his predatory drone feet will carry him, but it's only after running over a large rock that the car eventually hits an incline and halts. In addition to the stone having dislodging some of the bricks of heroin, it's taken out the muffler, so it's possible Dewey won't be the noisiest thing in his car from here on out. With the call still connected, Dewey collects the rest of the drugs as he yammers about the "golden times" coming for him, and I'm not sure who he's talking to but the list of people who wouldn't have hung up on him by now has to be pretty short.
Darryl and Wendy are sniping at each other about Kendal having disappeared in "the Chevette" when Danny enters and breathes that they have "a serious situation," and of course the short version is going to be "no drugs," so let's just skip back to the locale we left, where Raylan and a statie are surveying the scene. Raylan tells him the truck is the one driven by the two people involved in putting Miller in the hospital with a broken pelvis, while the statie replies that he got waved down by a couple campers who saw "some fool out here tryin' to unhitch a car. Said he didn't look right." Hee. I mean, Raylan probably arrived at the correct conclusion after "some fool," but I still appreciate the rest. The statie goes on that they're not dealing with a genius, but Raylan, looking at the muffler, wonders what his "Einstein" is going to do with a carload of Mexican brown. Ah, but his unpredictability is part of his "genius"!
By her bunk, Ava is looking worriedly at Judith when a guard enters, calls the former's name and says she has a visitor. Ava walks out, stealing more glances at Judith along the way, before we cut to Boyd telling her he thinks he finally has a line on Albert, even though he has not been easy to find. It's true; you have to train your eyes to look downward. Boyd promises Ava that when Albert recants -- and he will -- all this will be over, but Ava urgently tells him that she's been thinking about it -- Boyd's tried everything to bring an end to her situation, "but there ain't no end to bring about." Boyd asks her to clarify, so she tells him that there are things on the inside she's going to have to do to stay alive, "and the less you got to do with them, the better." I'd wonder if Ava isn't making a mistake not waiting for Boyd to try this Albert play, but given that her instincts are proven right, I suppose I shouldn't bother. As Boyd stares at her in disbelief, she goes on that she's saying goodbye, but Boyd addresses her as "woman" and petulantly asks if she knows what he's done for her? Thinking of the murder he had Jimmy commit last episode, she says she does, but he won't accept that, so she puts the phone down and says -- so he can barely hear her -- that she loves him. If she cut him off because she figured he'd argue until the cows come home, I'll be much more willing to back her instincts here. She adds that she'll always love him before getting up and calling for the guard, and although Boyd knocks on the glass and shouts her name, she doesn't stop walking resolutely away. Sure, Boyd, it seems frivolous, but did you notice the episode count for Ava being in prison is now ten? Credits.
Boyd, in that weary migraine-onset voice he's seemed to be using a lot more these days, wraps up a phone call with an unknown person and tells Jimmy he's going to need him to take a ride with him. Jimmy, a bit sharply, asks what they might do when they get wherever they're going, and it's never made explicit -- nor, I believe, is the errand necessarily perpetrated this episode -- but I think Jimmy is probably a bit bummed that his recent duties involved garroting an elderly man, even one who'd committed murder and didn't have long for this world. It's certainly consistent with Boyd telling Jimmy he knows times have been hard lately, "but you didn't sign up with me because you thought it was gonna be easy." Whatever Jimmy's beef may be, the discussion is curtailed when Darryl's voice rings out, and Boyd calls him into the back to ask him to please bestow some good news upon them. Of course, Darryl has no such glad tidings to offer, but he doesn't get far into his explanation before Dewey himself calls Boyd.
From his car, spewing exhaust all over the place, Dewey tells Boyd that he's sitting in "that fabled catbird's seat," and as such he could disappear to anywhere with the stash, but Boyd dangerously suggests he might not want to do that before, looking pointedly at Darryl, wondering where Dewey's "co-pilot" in all this is. Dewey, however -- after actually looking at the passenger seat to see if someone's with him, like don't even change, Dewey -- tells him he ditched Danny. After Boyd irritatedly puts Dewey on speaker, Dewey tells him he needs a quarter million for the drugs -- adding that Darryl can keep Audrey's -- so Boyd asks him where and when. Dewey replies that it'll be before dark, and Boyd can call him as soon as he has the money to arrange the place. After a pause, Dewey points out that he's not such comic fodder anymore, and Boyd grits, "You hear me laughing?" Speak for yourself, Boyd. Dewey, a little more uncertainly, says he'll be waiting before getting off the phone, and when Darryl starts to explain that this is what he was trying to tell Boyd when he said they have a problem, Boyd fixes him with a cold stare and tells him he's wrong -- "we ain't got a problem. Based on this phone call, you got a problem." I think a lot of people have a problem, but if Boyd's trying to reestablish the chain of command, point taken.
Someone who also has a problem is Wynn, and when he gets the latest news, Picker takes the opportunity to attempt to undermine Wynn's confidence in Boyd. Wynn can't help but admit that Boyd has to bear some responsibility for the current situation, but when Picker takes the position that Boyd has become a liability "whatever his local attributes," Wynn counters that said local attributes currently account for their entire business model. Picker kind of brushes that aside -- not really sure what alternative he's proposing with them presumably having alienated Yoon and his outfit for good -- to say that he doesn't understand Wynn's "fascination" with Boyd. "What is it? His hair?" Well, Picker, A) Wynn's no slouch in that department, and B) it is pretty fascinating, I think you must admit. But no, Picker goes on that soon Wynn is going to have to make a decision about who he wants to work with; "him, who most certainly is gonna get you killed, or me, who most certainly is gonna get you rich." I mean again, I haven't heard Picker's plan to revive Mexico, but I'll admit Wynn's got some serious thinking to do regardless, and the look on his face most certainly seems to agree.
Darryl and Danny are filling a briefcase with money -- and paper sandwiched between the bills. As such, Darryl tells Danny to make sure Dewey doesn't get a chance to count it, and Danny replies that he'll make sure of that in a voice that I do not particularly like. Things don't get any better when Wendy walks in to say she still can't get hold of Kendal and Danny starts snarling about his dog, but Darryl tells him to calm down, adding that he needs to get going anyway. Danny then goes to take a dump, and after Wendy and Darryl talk heatedly about Kendal a bit more, Raylan saunters in. Darryl hastily closes the briefcase, and after some chitchat about the ebbs and flows (ew) of the whoring industry, Raylan asks where Dewey is. Darryl, of course, claims no knowledge. Raylan then compliments the "handsome attaché," asking if it's alligator, but Darryl quickly replies that it's in fact pleather (and I think his haste in responding suggests it was probably made from gator skin illegally obtained). Raylan asks what's in it, and Darryl tries to sell the charming idea that it contains used condoms waiting to be washed out -- "this here's a green whorehouse" -- but the idea that Raylan doesn't believe him is emphasized by his expressed wish to take a look. Darryl starts to talk about a warrant, but Raylan -- somewhat unexpectedly even for him -- suddenly backhands Darryl in the face with the briefcase, not only knocking him to the ground but opening up the thing to boot.
Raylan conversationally notes that between all the paper among the money and the pleather, someone's in for a disappointment, and Wendy, recovering from the shock of the moment, starts to babble about how Raylan has no grounds to arrest them, but Raylan wearily replies that he wasn't planning to. What he says he is going to do, however, is confiscate the cash into marshal custody "until you can prove whence it came" before repeating his original question: Where's Dewey? Darryl, still rubbing his head, says that no one's seen him, so Raylan takes the briefcase and says he's going to have a look around, sternly adding that he'd better not see any cars leaving while he's there. I think we've reached the point in the season where Raylan's tolerance for bullshit is on extended hiatus.
Raylan pops into a trailer to see two of the working girls, who just so happen to be the ones with whom Dewey was frolicking in the pool until Raylan blew a couple holes in their fun, for which one of them terms him "Officer Buzzkill." I don't know, he can be pretty fun, but probably not from where you're standing, I'll admit. Raylan notes that they're packing their things, and one of them unconvincingly says they're moving trailers, but Raylan thinks it has to do with Dewey and notes that it's kind of sweet the way they seem to care for him. The one who just lied about moving confirms Raylan's read by saying that Dewey's been fair and has never raised a hand to them, so Raylan informs them that Dewey's in deep shit, and when the girls think he can handle it, Raylan drawls that he's got a lot of confidence "for someone who wears shorts and combat boots." Never thought about it that way, but he has a point.
He opens the briefcase, and the girls see "all the" money their attitude shifts, so when he offers them "a taste" of it, it's no surprise that after a conspiratorial glance, one of them hands over her phone and says the number's on speed dial. Raylan steps out to call, whereupon the woman checks the money and realizes the deception -- but Dewey's phone is already ringing. Raylan shoos the girl away so he can tell Dewey he's in a lot of trouble, adding that he was about to get handed "a ringer" in exchange for the drugs, and I'll add that that's probably best case given the mood Danny's in. Dewey doesn't know what Raylan's on about, but Raylan goes on that Dewey's made an enemy of both Boyd and the Dixie Mafia, so who does Dewey think his only friend might be? Raylan looks pretty happy about his speech, but Dewey only lights up and says he hadn't thought about it that way! "My dream ain't gonna die so easy after all!" He hangs up, chucking his phone out the window right after, and Raylan, handing the briefcase off to the girls and tossing the one of them her phone back, sighs that he doesn't think Dewey took that the way he intended. Hey Raylan, you may not have seen, but I couldn't help but notice Jeremy Davies' name in the opening credits?
Oh, here's a surprise -- Allison comes home and immediately becomes aware that she's not alone, so she takes out her pepper spray or Mace or whatever and creeps into the kitchen -- to find Kendal snacking on some pizza. He explains that he had to get out of his situation, and someone who's feeling that is Ava, who's watching Judith furtively when she hops down from her bunk and leaves the sleeping area. Ava then removes a shiv from under her pillow and tucks it into her sleeve before pursuing; we then cut to her entering the bathroom to find Judith lighting up a smoke. However, rather than launch her murderous attach without preamble, she stops a couple sinks away and fixes her hair, and Judith offers that she likes it that way. Ava replies that she didn't have much choice in the matter, and Judith says she heard; she's also learned about Ava dumping her man, and Ava admits it with a rueful smile. Judith signs off on that, saying that Ava can only count on "the Holy Mother," her prison sisters, and herself. "And you know I got you." With that, she goes to take a piss, whereupon Ava, apparently unmoved by Judith's words, removes the blade from her sleeve. At this point, I'm pretty surprised; Judith has demonstrated an ability to protect Ava effectively, so is it really worth killing her specifically to get the heroin moving again? As it happens, though, Penny comes rushing in, and as Ava hides the shiv, Penny announces that the hacks are about to do a bed check. Judith languidly says she'll be out -- her casualness at the mention of the guards will make sense soon enough -- but Penny urgently tells Ava they should go, so Ava reluctantly joins her, but not without casting another look back in Judith's direction. Well, Ava, we're not even halfway through here. I'm betting you'll get another chance.
Back at Allison's, she serves Kendal a sandwich before he tells her he smells pot on her and wonders if she has any more. She doesn't deny it, but points out his age and then inquires how he got there. He replies that he's been driving since his feet could reach the pedals, and when she asks how he knew her address, he's like, "They got this thing called Google." Seriously. He admits that he's scared of Danny -- Allison at least knows that game -- and then asks Allison to come away with him, adding that he's got skills such as bartending. "Besides, you're not so happy to be here yourself." Astute read, I think, but she gently tells him that what he's proposing is a fantasy; there's nothing wrong with it but it's not happening. Kendal is bummed, and gets even more so when Wendy walks in -- turns out Allison made a phone call on the sly in addition to "blow[ing] a j," as Kendal puts it. Wendy makes a light comment about him getting lost, but Kendal only stares bitterly at Allison, who unflinchingly returns his gaze and tells him to go on. That's cold, Allison -- he barely even got to touch his sandwich!
And here's Dewey at a prison when who should come rolling out -- he's wheelchair-bound at the moment -- but Dickie Bennett, and since Wynn seems to be so fascinated with hair I wish he were here to check out Dickie's spiky mop. These two laugh in disbelief at the reunion, and however calculating Dickie may be, he certainly sells the idea that he's feeling some real affection here. Dewey asks what's up with the "hell on wheels" situation, but Dickie's still laughing about how the guards told him there was a "Mr. Parker Stevenson" there to see him, and Dewey tells him that's the name on his fake ID before Dickie finally calms down and asks how he can help. Okay, Dickie, but first a rundown of the last week or so in Harlan. It'll take several hours, but you seem to have the time.
Oh, look who's come to visit Wynn… MARY STEENBURGEN! I never thought her patrician form would grace the mud of Harlan, but if it were going to happen it makes sense that Wynn would be her entry point. Holding a highball, she practically purrs that Wynn just called her up after ten years and wonders if he thought she just couldn't stay away from him, to which he replies, "When it comes to your motives, Katherine, I've long since abandoned speculating." I'm with you, Wynn; I'm just going to enjoy this. Without her smile wavering, she wonders how he knew she didn't come to put an ice pick in his neck, which is quite a visual if you think about it, but he tells her it'd have been worth it to see her again -- and he could also use her help. She replies that she keeps up on "current events" and as such knows that he's not kidding about needing her: "You got yourself caught between a Detroit rock and a shitkicker hard place. Trafficking in weight [large quantities of drugs, if the term is unfamiliar], like you said you never would." She asks if he got greedy, so he admits he doesn't know how he got to this point. "That's why I called. You always had a way of cultivating clarity." I seriously want to propose marriage to this conversation; not only is it wonderful to see Mary Steenburgen in this context, it also lets us get to know Wynn a lot better, which is something I didn't even necessarily realize I wanted until now. She asks what he needs, and he tells her he's after "an assessment," which side should he throw in his lot with? "And, let's say for the sake of discussion, I've missed you." Katherine considers for a moment before replying that she'd need to meet both parties -- preferably simultaneously and with no guns. "And Wynn? If I come in on this assessment, it'll be 50K. In advance." I mean, I'd practically pay that to keep her on the show, so it's not a surprise that he tells her that's no problem.
By the way, there's an interview in Entertainment Weekly with Ms. Steenburgen in which she discusses her role and the show. There are mild spoilers about the history of her character and the length of her arc, so fair warning, but if that doesn't bother you it's a fun and informative read.
The staties have set up a series of roadblocks to try to catch Dewey -- now he'd really better stay off the highways -- and one of them reports to Raylan on their progress and guesses that Dewey's only play is to hole up someplace and wait them out. Raylan's phone then rings, and when he answers, an automated prison recording starts telling him he has a collect call from "RAYLAN GIVENS DON'T HANG UP IT'S DICKIE BENNETT!" Hee. The recording resumes to tell him Raylan Givens Don't Hang Up It's Dickie Bennett is a prison inmate before asking if he'll accept the charges, and Raylan throws a look to the sky that's half-amused, half "Really?"
Oh my God, this scene. Raylan is in with Dickie, who muses about where they've ended up, to which Raylan replies that they seem to him to be in the correct places. Dickie tries to say that in another lifetime they could have been close, but Raylan points out that in their current existence Dickie strung Raylan up and treated him like a piñata (and I do wonder how often it crosses his mind that he owes Boyd his life for that one) before going after a fourteen-year-old girl. I'll point out that he also killed Helen; even if Raylan declined to take blood revenge for that I can't imagine he's remotely forgiven him. Dickie mumbles about mistakes having been made, but Raylan is not looking for reminiscence -- Dickie called him claiming to know Dewey's location, so where is he?
Dickie, however, isn't going to betray "my one true friend in the world" (awesome of him to use essentially the turn of phrase that got Dewey thinking of him) for free, so what is Raylan offering him? Raylan's response is to promise "jack" and "shit" -- in that order, I presume -- but Dickie, as is his wont, uses a lot of words in the service of hearing himself talk to tell Raylan that his information is valuable, so Raylan impatiently asks what he wants. Dickie tells him he'd like transfer to long-term hospital care out of state "away from all these bad memories," and that actually doesn't seem like the most unreasonable request, but Raylan sarcastically asks if he'd like that transfer by helicopter or if a van will do. In response, Dickie positively guffaws -- and the show has moved on from the character, but I just will always give Jeremy Davies credit for his commitment to playing this role as dickishly as possible; now that Arlo's dead I'm not sure anyone else is quite in his league.
Dickie then drops the smile and says he needs serious rehabilitation "for this lame-ass leg that you, Raylan, you played no small part in afflictin'," but Raylan tells him he's not getting any transfer "to a country club" -- the best he can do is offer "greater protections and freedoms" in his current location should his information lead to an arrest. Dickie sighs and tells Raylan all right, he wins, so here's what he needs to do: "First of all, go to a Gas 'n' Go or whatever and get yourself a map of Kentucky. Follow Route 9 southbound with your finger. Follow it way way down, until you're pointin' it right at… your asshole." RAYLAN'S FACE, you guys, but Dickie isn't done: "Then what you're gonna do is take your hand, and just, just go ahead and cram it right up inside" -- Raylan's hilariously nodding in resignation by now -- "you gotta make sure, Raylan, that you do it in a way so that the rest of you just keeps on followin' your hand right up your ass, right up inside all that shit you're so full of, Raylan. And then what you're gonna do" -- he's down to a whisper -- "you're just gonna wink out of existence forever." Raylan smiles that Dickie must be proud of that one, and Raylan, I love you but he's not the only one.
Whatever Davies got paid for this episode was more than worth it for that speech, not least for the way that he characteristically said "Raylan" like three hundred times. However, it turns out it gave Raylan the time and motivation to come to a realization: Dewey obviously came to Dickie looking for a home for his "purloined heroin," and it's logical to assume Dickie sent him to one of his old Bennett dealers -- but he doesn't have to find him there. You see, Boyd and Darryl would have put word out, so the dealer will let them know about Dewey's visit, which means all Raylan has to do is head back to Harlan and wait for Boyd and Darryl to return with all the bricks. Dickie almost swallows his cheeks as he realizes how neatly Raylan has outwitted him, and Raylan gets to his feet and mildly thanks Dickie for his help, "unwitting as it may have been." He then says it's good to see Dickie, "especially in here," and Dickie resorts to well worn ground as he asks if Raylan can hear "this," or -- raising his middle finger -- "or you need me to turn it up?" It's not quite True Detective, but only because Raylan isn't participating.
Oh, as it happens, the dealer Dickie sent Dewey to see is Cyrus, the guy who apparently loved sticking his dick in a makeshift popcorn popper -- and also, as you'll remember, is tied to Boyd and Wynn. He's impressed by the weight Dewey's brought him but tells him it's worth way more than he's got at that location, and Dewey's not thrilled but consents to let Cyrus call in "the money cavalry." Honestly, I know Dewey's naïve enough to think Dickie wouldn't betray him, but back when he was planning to sell the stuff back to Boyd, how did he think he was going to handle the logistics of the exchange without taking bullets from approximately six different guns?
In a bar, we are in fact reunited with Albert, who's putting the rather gross moves on a blonde woman… Teri. I just made a joke about her skillz, and lo and behold! Actually, given that her nickname is "Candy," that's kind of spooky. (That movie was scary!) Anyway, whether her powers are otherworldly or not, Albert has no chance against her whispered declaration that she's just looking for a man to tell her how pretty she is and how she wants said man to make love and "bang [her] until the cops break us up." Albert is like, check PLEASE, but down the bar, Boyd is watching and not seeming altogether thrilled with the errand he's laid out for himself. I thought this was going to be where Jimmy was involved, but maybe Boyd decided handling this one alone would be better for morale.
Darryl is getting an address from Cyrus, trying to ignore Danny shouting for his horrible dog in the background. When he's off, he tries to calm Danny down, but Danny's freaked because Chelsea has never spent a day on her own in the wild. Darryl makes a crass comment about one possible leisure activity of Chelsea's that Danny does not so much appreciate, but Darryl then tells him that they've got eyes on Dewey. He doesn't get further than handing him the address, though, when Wendy comes in with Kendal, and Danny wastes no time in heatedly asking where Chelsea is. Kendal snaps that he doesn't know and that it's not his fault "her dumb ass ain't got enough sense not to run off," and for someone who's terrified of the things Danny might do, he's doing a good job of hiding it. Danny makes another threatening comment and then starts to walk out, but Kendal spits at his back: "Chelsea's dead, asshole!" To appropriate a quote of Ferris Bueller's for my own purposes: Here's where Danny goes berserk. Kendal explains that Chelsea got hit by that truck, and Danny can barely ask if he left her corpse up there alone. Kendal's like, I was too busy running away from your crazy ass, and it takes all Darryl's huge frame to stop Danny from flinging himself at Kendal.
Danny screams that he'll kill Kendal, so finally Kendal figures he has nothing to lose: "Oh yeah? Just like you did Jean-Baptiste?" Now it's Darryl who whirls in shock before sticking a finger in Danny's face and -- with a lot of emotion for him -- reminding Danny he said he was in Florida. Danny tries to modify his lie from earlier, saying Jean-Baptiste was talking a bunch of shit and that's why he shot him, but Darryl paces uncertainly between Kendal (whom Wendy is still holding protectively) and Danny before getting in the latter's face and telling him to go to Dewey and get their stuff; when he gets back, he'll get a wreath and some lilies and they'll give Chelsea a proper burial. As for Kendal, Darryl instructs him to retrieve Chelsea and dig a hole for her -- "show a little goddamn respect!" He finishes by telling Wendy to make sure Kendal doesn't run off and announcing that when they've taken care of all this business they're going to have a "big ole family conference" -- and then he decks Danny -- hard enough to spin him around on the way to the floor, for lying about "JB." I'm sure JB would have hoped for greater avenging of his death, but that will be a moot point soon enough.
In the yard, Penny tells Ava she saw the shiv in the bathroom, but she's not going to say anything -- because she also wants Ava to kill Judith. Damn, for a woman of God she's not getting a whole lot of love. Penny conversationally goes on that the shiv Ava has is good for throat-slashing, but -- she shows Ava an evil-looking instrument -- her thing is a "stabber," quicker and quieter. Ava asks if Rowena has Penny checking on her because she thinks Ava won't go through with it, but Penny tells her that Rowena's beef with Judith actually is on Penny's behalf. You see, that guard Judith forced Penny to "lay with" wasn't the first, and since none of the hacks wore protection for these favors, there were consequences -- "and Judith forced me to get rid of them consequences." She bitterly adds that Judith's "protection" only means you're another playing piece on her board before going on that Judith has an arrangement with the guards -- she prays alone in the chapel, and the cameras within are turned off at night. Penny then hands off the weapon and takes her leave, and we get a pointed shot of a chessboard in the foreground before Ava hides the instrument in her sleeve. Now she's got one in each!
Dewey and Cyrus are waiting when Danny enters. The Crowes draw on each other, and Dewey asks if Danny's got his money, but Danny tells him he's not getting squat, and they snip and snap at each other until Cyrus gets bored and draws a gun in each hand so he can cover both of them and announces: "Little Dipshit, you toss the bag over to Big Dipshit. Big Dipshit, you toss me three bricks for my trouble. And both y'all, put them goddamn guns away!" I thought Cyrus might buy it for insulting Danny in his Chelsea-mourning period, but Danny seems to want to get this done. Dewey, for his part, complies but says he thought they had a deal, so Cyrus replies that he doesn't know him, while Dickie is "a wormy little shitbird I never liked anyway." Fair. After the exchange is made, Danny sneers that Dewey doesn't have the head for this business, so he might as well go with Danny and get what's coming, and Dewey turns to Cyrus and is basically like "Thanks for killing me, bro." Cyrus, however, is willing to give Dewey a two-minute head start before he lets Danny go, rightly adding that it's the best offer he's going to get, so Dewey glumly takes off, whereupon Cyrus smiles in satisfaction. He's having a pretty good day, even if he's in the severe minority.
Danny's got the heroin in one hand and the lilies in the other -- I can't think of another show that could make this moment kind of touching and yet deeply hilarious -- when he gets out of his truck to Chelsea's covered corpse, near which is the hole Kendal dug for her. In tears, he gets down on his knees and says how sorry he is, at which point Raylan, carrying out his plan, appears from the shadows near the main building of Audrey's. He calls in a light enough tone that he's sorry for Danny's loss, so Danny spits that he's having private time and that Raylan could show some respect. Raylan, however, says he doesn't mean to denigrate the moment "despite the fact that dog would have been happy to chew my face off and wear it as a Halloween mask," and in fairness, Raylan, it would have improved her looks. Perhaps taking Raylan at his word that his sympathies are sincere, Danny tells him how he had a buddy who ran a puppy mill in Sarasota who got arrested for a DUI, and said friend asked him to take care of them for him.
His voice breaks as he recalls how he found a litter of dead puppies -- the mother had apparently died giving birth so there was no one to take care of the brood -- but Chelsea was the one that barely survived, and he raised her up. This show always makes an effort to humanize its antagonists, and even though Raylan and I still think Danny's a total waste of a human existence (although A.J. Buckley has been fantastic), the moment lands, so Raylan tells him he's inclined to do him a favor: If he surrenders the heroin right there and now, he won't include Wendy and Kendal among the Crowes he arrests. Danny asks what about Darryl, which suggests that he's at least considering it, and Raylan tells him that even though he doesn't care about Darryl's welfare like he does with the other two, if Danny were to own up right now, "you'd be the only Crowe goin' away on this day of mournin'." Danny gets to his feet and acknowledges the favor, even addressing Raylan as "sir" in the process, but he adds that he's not done mourning yet. Raylan asks how old Chelsea was, and when Danny tells him over six, Raylan points out that that's fortysomething in dog years, while Danny's only about thirty. Danny wonders what the point is, so Raylan makes it crystal clear as he pulls back his jacket to reveal his weapon in his inimitable way: "You slide your hand any closer to that gun, you're gonna meet Chelsea's fate at a much younger age than she did."
I'd say there are no more pleasantries to be exchanged, which means of course that it's time for what I think we can all figure is the final mention of the twenty-one-foot rule. Unlike Miller, though, Raylan has never heard of it, although he does say that since his aim is true up to fifty to seventy-five yards, twenty-one feet is a joke -- but how good a shot is Danny? Danny, however, gingerly pulls his gun out by the handle and drops it on the ground, and Raylan looks perplexed, at which point Danny draws his knife and ignoring Raylan's attempts to say something else, he charges. Raylan's taken unawares by his standards, but he draws his gun -- only Danny falls right into the hole meant for Chelsea. It'd be straight-up hysterical if not for the fact that his legs, poking out of the hole, aren't moving, and when Raylan steps forward for a closer look, Danny manages to roll over -- and we see his own knife buried in his neck. Raylan sighs that he didn't see the hole either, honest, and that's the last thing Danny Crowe will hear on this earth. I only hope they decide to bury him in with Chelsea. It's what they both would have wanted!
In his office, Art, looking as world-weary as you'd expect, notes that it's something that Raylan didn't actually shoot Danny, but Raylan confesses that he was going to. Also, he intended to take Darryl and Wendy in too, but he had nothing to hold them on. "But they're pretty pissed." Art's like duh, but Raylan's point is that with Kendal having gone to see Allison so recently and his own relationship with her… "now you think they might be comin' after her," Art soberly supplies. He says he'll take care of it, and when Raylan offers to help, Art tells him no -- "since you are apparently my own personal special problem that I must deal with, I'll handle it myself." Raylan's like, have it your way, leaving Nick Searcy to collect a check for like thirty seconds of work.
Judith is praying in low light when Ava enters; without opening her eyes, Judith calls out that this is her time. Ava comes into view and replies that she never figured Judith for praying alone, and Judith does a quick mental calculation before replying that for one hour each week, she communes with "the goddess" without distractions. Ava, a touch of sarcasm in her voice, supposes that means Judith actually believes, but Judith asks if it matters, since she knows why Ava's there. "Always figured Penny was the one to turn Judas." Ava, however, says she doesn't want this, but Judith goes on that she knows Rowena's behind it. "Don't hardly take a fortune-teller to figure out what's comin'." Ava steps forward and counters that from what she hears, the grievances are justified, so Judith admits that she prays for forgiveness for what she had Penny do, but she needed those drugs inside. "Amazing, the unconscionable things we'll do to survive."
Ava, however, no weapon in sight, comes forward and sits across from Judith as she says she's not going to do it; she doesn't like the game Rowena's playing, changing the rules up on her. "I feel like there's gotta be a way we can work together." Judith gets to her feet, and as Ava does the same, she says that sounds just great, "but how'm I supposed to forget you comin' at me in prayer with a shiv in your hand?" With that, she grabs Ava in a stranglehold and takes her to the floor. Ava throws her off, but soon Judith is trying to bash her head in with a folding chair. Eventually, Judith gets back on top of Ava and starts choking her, closing her eyes with the effort, which means that she doesn't see that to her left, Ava catches sight of the weapon that either dropped from her hand or fell out of her sleeve. She reaches for it and stabs Judith in the side -- four times -- and Judith gurgles and lies still. Ava, crying in fear, removes her bloody top and walks out, and among the deeds she's not going to want to defend at the gates of heaven, killing a woman in chapel, even if in self-defense, has to be up there somewhere. Also, bye, Dale Dickey! You terrified me and now you're dead, which means you did your job on this show well.
Boyd is still looking like he's fighting a migraine, as a bloodied and bound Albert begs him not to do whatever he's considering. Boyd responds by philosophically admitting that he spends all his time with criminals, and while he might claim only to be guilty by association, the truth is that he's every bit as despicable as they are. With better hair, though, mostly. He goes on that as a drug merchant, he offers people a moment of euphoria in a bleak existence -- "I'm really in the business of sellin' lies." Albert wonders what the point is, so Boyd tells him that unlike him, Albert is sworn to uphold the law, which means telling the truth, so maybe he should come clean about setting Ava up as he did? Albert, however, says he's sorry but he can't fix the situation, so Boyd grabs a knife out of his desk and sits a few feet from Albert as he idly asks how many times he stabbed himself in setting Ava up.
He has to repeat the question at a rather high decibel level to get the answer of two, and Boyd notes it must have taken some nerve to go through with that and then pointedly asks if he cried out from the pain. Sensing that no answer he gives will be correct, Albert whimpers that he doesn't remember, but Boyd confirms my suspicion by saying it doesn't matter -- he's dame sure going to cry out now. He steps forward, but Albert desperately blurts out that he loves Ava -- she's special and wasn't like the other girls, and he would never hurt her, which is why he mutilated himself instead. "I love her, but I don't have the power to make her mine." To me, this is horseshit -- him telling her to bend over is all I need to remember -- but Boyd, perhaps sensing a parallel to his continued inability to get Ava out of jail, uses the knife to cut the bonds on Albert's wrists rather than recreate his self-inflicted wounds. Albert rushes out, and Boyd looks like he's aging some more. One of these days it might even show.
Wendy, with some bitterness, asks if Darryl now understands that they need to leave Kentucky. Darryl can't believe Danny's not even cold and she's talking about leaving, but she counters that she's attempting the Herculean endeavor of keeping them out of prison. His voice breaking a little, he asks if her lack of tears means she doesn't care, but she icily tells him if she didn't, she would have been gone long ago. "For all of Daddy's shortcomin's, he knew when to fold up." She recounts a couple supporting examples while adding that their father always kept the family together, and when Darryl tells her that's his job now, she replies, "It's a hard truth, but you ain't ever gonna be fit to stand in his shadow." She's never confronted him directly about Dilly, as far as I know, but I can hear it in her voice.
Darryl thinks it's pretty rich for him to be lectured by a woman "so ashamed of her own son, she don't even admit she got one." You know, we never really did get an explanation for that deception, did we? Darryl adds that she's a piece of shit and gets up to go, but Wendy stands as well, fire burning in her eyes, before hauling off and punching him in the face. He instinctively lets her have one back in the gut and is immediately horrified, but she takes the opportunity to break a bottle across his face, so he hits her a couple times, drags her around by her hair a bit, and then boots her in the stomach. It's quite violent and shows just how scary Darryl (and Rapaport too) are when they're off the chain, and he bellows that he hates her before storming off and marching into Kendal's trailer to tell him he needs to decide right now -- is he a Crowe? Kendal tells his uncle he is, so Darryl says he loves him before pulling out a switchblade and saying they're going to forge a blood bond, just like the Seminole Indians in the Everglades.
He cuts his palm open -- like, all the way across; no half-assing it here -- and then does the same to Kendal: "We share blood, we share everything." Kendal's probably thinking it's a good thing from a hygiene perspective that Darryl never seemed much for sampling the Audrey's wares, because Darryl clasps their hands together. He promises a clean slate between them and asks if they still have any secrets, and Kendal tells him no. Darryl: "You a man now. And bein' a man comes with responsibilities. You ready to be a man?" If I were Kendal, I might ask for some examples of these responsibilities, but he merely nods before Darryl hugs him tight. Three episodes left; more scores than that to settle.
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His new film, a documentary on online privacy and the exploitation of personal data called Terms And Conditions May Apply, a New York Times Critics' Pick, is now on iTunes here. You can get news on it from the film's Twitter accountor website, or check out trackoff.us to learn how to protect your privacy. Also, you can email John at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.