Luke and Joan are walking through the hall at school, beneath a banner proclaiming the school's upcoming semi-formal: "The Crystal Ball." Luke is rambling on about his science fair project, saying at first he was planning to make a gamma ray microscope to "actually prove" Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. Luke adds, "Oh, God, which would almost be worth it just to see the look on Friedman's face -- except a gamma ray microscope would cost, like, $8 million." But otherwise, you know, he could totally do it. Joan's busy trying to toss some kind of tiny snack in the air and catch it in her mouth. As Luke says he began thinking more conceptually, Joan asks him to wake her up when he gets to the point. Luke says, "Right. So I asked Grace to do this thing with me, and at the time she said yes, sort of, but..." Joan: "Wait, Grace Polk said yes, to you?" Luke: "It was somewhat contingent but essentially...yeah." Joan gloats and says, "Aw, she's so gonna get it!" Luke's problem is that he's not sure if Grace remembers him asking, so he's wondering: "Do I have to do the full re-approach..." Joan: "What is she gonna wear? Because they don't make gowns out of fatigues." Well, maybe not in Grace's price range. I've seen some designer stuff like that, but I imagine she can't afford Vivienne Westwood or Jean Paul Gaultier or whichever designer coughed that up. Luke doesn't know what Joan's talking about. Joan thinks he asked Grace to the semi-formal dance; Luke says he asked her to be his science fair partner. Joan remarks, "Wow, science really is like sex to you, isn't it?" She walks away. Luke grapples for a response: "Well, that's...I don't know how to respond to that!"
He catches up to her again, and she advises him, "Put on some stupid clothes and go grope each other in the gym. It's much more direct than building some gammy telescope or whatever." Luke: "Gamma ray microscope, and this isn't about groping. Why? Are you groping...uh, going?" Joan disses these affairs as lame, adding, "Plus, I don't have anybody to go with." Luke surmises, "You and Adam Rove are still on the outs." The last-naming is bugging me. What other Adam would they be talking about? Joan says she can't remember if they were ever on the "ins." At that moment two guys lunge in front of them; one's slamming the other very forcefully into a bank of lockers. The guy being attacked is Adam, and a fairly hulking guy punches him in the face and then in the stomach. No! Don't do that to my Adam! (Jettisoning the last remaining pretenses of any kind of journalistic objectivity here.) The big hulk yells, "You want to get in my way? Is that what you want?" Joan breaks it up and tells the guy to stop hitting Adam. He snarls in her face, "You think I won't hit you, too?" The big hulk, by the way, is played by Frederick Koehler, formerly Chip of Kate and Allie and Andrew Schillinger of Oz. He's, like, twenty-eight, so he's really pushing it to be playing a teenager, almost as much as Gabrielle Carteris was. Still, he manages, between his youthfully moony face and his perpetually injured expression, to successfully portray a seriously screwed-up teenager. He does remind me powerfully of those guys in high school who were always older and more physically mature than most of the rest, through a combination of genetics and having failed a grade or two. You'd be in ninth grade (which is where high school begins in Ontario) and there'd be these tiny boys fresh out of grade school who were thirteen and looked about eleven, alongside these huge manly guys who were fifteen and looked nineteen or older. It was weird, yo. For us, and for them too, I'm sure. So actually, the casting's not as bad as it might seem on paper.
Anyway. Naturally, Price's Misbehaviour Radar goes off and he's right there, commanding them to "Break it up! Right now!" Seems like Joan already handled that, but whatever makes you feel big, buddy. Adam is doubled over, coughing from the gut punch. Price tells all three of them to get in his office right now. Joan's got her hands on Adam's back, asking if he's okay. As he stands up, he jerks away from her and coughs a bit more. He follows Price. Joan is bewildered, and breathing heavily.
When they arrive in the administration office, Price wants the bully first: "Mr. Ramsay! Let's begin with you." Helen sees the three of them come in and quickly ends her call. Joan sits down on a bench to a sorta punk-y, sort Goth-y guy with dark purple hair and several facial piercings. Helen goes to attend to Adam, touching his face gently. The guy to Joan hands her a folded piece of paper, which she reads and tosses back on his lap with indifference, saying, "The Crystal Ball. Cool. Are you going?" He replies, "No. You are." Huh. Goth God. Joan gives a tiny, weary sigh and pauses a moment before telling him, "I hope you have a date for me in your magic bag." The bully emerges from Price's office, bitching, "We should do this more often, Price!" He shoulders Adam slightly on his way past him. Price tells Ramsay it's his last chance. Goth God tells Joan he wants her to go to the dance with Ramsay. Joan: "No way!" Then a little more desperately: "Please. You always said I have a choice!" Goth God: "You do. But if you're going to do this, you have to do it right now." Joan: "Or what?" He just provocatively raises his pierced eyebrow at her. She sighs, exasperated, gets up and heads for Bully Boy. Wow. She sure is in God's back pocket.
She goes up to him at his locker and asks to speak to him. He tells her, "I didn't touch you." He punches his locker a few times in anger and frustration. Joan is clearly freaked out but plows ahead anyway, grabbing a Crystal Ball poster off the wall nearby. She asks if he's going to the semi-formal, and shows him the poster. He reads it, crumples it up, and tosses it at Joan. He starts to walk away, but she stops him and asks him to go to the dance with her. He's naturally skeptical that Joan wants to date him, but quickly agrees and takes off. Joan watches him go, wondering what the heck she's in for now. This should definitely win forgiveness points with Adam. Credits.
Helen comes into the kitchen where Luke is doing homework, asking, "Is it strange that you're always awake before I am?" Luke replies, "I like to ambush my brain before fear and reason kick in." She insists he's too young to worry about those things: "That doesn't start until you're thirty." I got news for you, lady. Will comes down the stairs that lead into the kitchen, saying to someone on the phone that as long as he doesn't have to make any speeches, he loves it. He hangs up and tells them he just won a Community Leader award from some citizens' group for being taken hostage. Helen puts her arms around Will and kisses him. Joan, descending the stairs, says, "Ew! Children present." It's interesting that of the three kids, she seems the least comfortable with intra-parental expressions of affection. The boys don't seem as bothered. Will says, "Right. Breakfast. Glitter balls, anyone?" He's referring to the sparkly blue Styrofoam balls covering the table. Helen explains they're decorations for the Crystal Ball. Luke gives her a hard time about the corniness of the name, for which Helen rejects any responsibility. She's reminded that she needs to call Marlene, who wants her to be a chaperone. Joan says she can't chaperone. Luke wonders why she cares, since she's not going. Joan: "I am now." Will: "Hey, that's great. Who you going with?" Joan doesn't answer. After a bit of evasion, Joan finally tells them it's Ramsay. Helen and Luke are incredulous. Will: "Who's Ramsay?" Helen: "Why on earth would you ask that boy to the dance?" Joan claims it's because he's the only person who would go with her. I very much doubt that. Helen: "Adam Rove would have been thrilled to go with you." Joan: "Hello? Do I have to brief you people every morning? Adam. Hates. Me. Okay? I have to go." As Will asks again, "Who's Ramsay?" Helen calls after Joan, "We're not done discussing this."
Joan's in AP Chem, marvelling at how a light bulb goes on when she dips a wire into a beaker of orange juice. Her expression is just delightful to watch. Ms. Lischak prowls the room, twirling her pointer and reminding the class that science fair applications are due by the end of the day. With the usual optocraniodorsal prowess, she blocks Grace (wandering in late) with the pointer and wonders why Grace bothered at all. Grace hands her a late slip. Grace sits down and Joan says, "Will you look at this? I'm making electricity out of sugar!" Grace: "You asked Ramsay to a dance?" In front of them, Glenys and Friedman turn to look at her. Joan doesn't react for a moment and then says, "Luke!" I don't know why she thinks it's him; Ramsay seems like he'd be the sort of guy bragging all over school about going to the dance with her. Grace: "What is up with that? Are you trying to kill Rove?" Joan asks her quietly, "You didn't tell him, did you?" Grace: "I don't need to! You asked Steve Ramsay to the semi-formal! That's like a CNN headline!" Glenys smiles: "You're going to the dance with Ramsay?" Friedman: "That's desperate." No, if she were desperate, she'd be going with you. Shut it. Joan says maybe she was just trying to do something nice. Friedman: "Good luck! That guy is seriously psycho." Glenys tells Friedman, "You're just saying that because he threw you in the trash." To Joan, she simpers, "I think it's sweet." Grace says, "I heard he has a private arsenal out in the woods where he shoots squirrels and stuff." Joan: "And you believe that?" Grace: "Ask Rove. They used to hang out. Oh, wait! Rove will never speak to you again after this. Never mind." I thought he was already more or less not speaking to her. Friedman contributes: "I wouldn't worry. If you get into any trouble, Luke here will defend you." Luke: "What am I doing?" Joan says he's not doing anything because nothing bad is going to happen.
The bell rings, and everyone leaves as Grace suddenly gets interested in the sugar-powered light bulb. She dips the wire a few times, making the bulb flick on and off, as Luke nervously stammers and stumbles over trying to ask Grace about the science fair. He doesn't get very far before Grace asks, annoyed, "What is with these sanctioned mating rituals that make everyone drool over each other like zombies?" Luke suddenly realizes she thinks he's asking her to the dance, and he's quick to explain he's referring to the science fair. Grace: "I already said I'd do that. Why are you getting all sweaty?" Luke reminds her she told him to ask her again closer to the date. She takes the pencil out from behind his ear and starts writing on what I presume is the application form, saying, "I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like I'm going to be any help." Luke assures her he has a "file folder full of ideas." Grace: "Whatever. As long as I don't have to wear a dress." Luke chuckles, "Yeah, me too." Grace gives him a weird look, but there's an indulgent glint in her eye. Luke back-pedals: "Not that I would ever wear a dress..." Grace sticks the pencil back behind his ear and whispers, "It's okay, man." Hee. Just kiss already!
Police station. Toni asks Will if he's seen the report on the Kaminski homicide. Before he can answer, his assistant Jeanne comes up and tells him, "I just looked up the Ramsay lawsuit payments in the city payroll, the ones you asked about." Will says, "Okay." Jeanne: "The payments are going to his mother. It's nothing unusual. But while I was in there, I saw this." She hands him a document and Will reads it, commenting, "Well, that's funny. I don't remember signing you up for a monthly bonus." Jeanne says that's her name on the city payroll. Er...wouldn't her name be in there somewhere, given that she works for the police department? Or maybe by "city" she means employees of City Hall. Toni asks who's receiving the cheques. Jeanne vehemently says she's not: "I've never seen one of these payments!" Will instructs her to put a trace on the P.O. box. She already did (does she have the authority to do that on her own?), and hands him another document. Will reads it and looks at her: "Oh, boy." Jeanne nods. Will tells her it's all right, and thanks her. Will motions Toni into his office, telling her as he closes the door, "Apparently Dennis Rowley is still collecting his Chief of Police salary...in Jeanne's name. And it's better than mine, I might add." Toni wonders if he thinks it's graft. With a slight Fat Tony edge, Will replies, "I don't think it's his pension." All right. Time to bust some municipal ass! Lines he's already memorized for The Simpsons which he may find useful: "I am not so much disappointed as I am blinded with rage." And: "I want the mayor dead, I want his wife dead, I want his cat and his dog dead." I'm kind of counting on getting to call some upcoming recap "Mayored to the Mob."
Joan's at school reading a book called Play Safe: The Art of Self-Defense when Goth God comes up and comments, "I wouldn't worry about self-defense." Joan: "Then why the psycho mission? Because I didn't sign up for martyrdom." Actually, you didn't sign up for any of this, as I recall. Goth God: "Joan. Have I ever endangered you?" Well, there was that one little incident where the murderer was stalking her and tried to abduct her...Joan: "Well, you never told me to ask evil out on a date before." Goth God is taking an oversized art book out of his bag; it's called Lost Souls. He tells her, "'Evil' is not a word to use lightly. It's only the darkest end of a broad spectrum." Joan: "You mean like...light?" Goth God: "Exactly like light. Nobody's born in total darkness." The camera shows some artwork of grotesque monsters and demons in the pages of the book. He continues, "Most of you live on the gray end of the spectrum...a lie here, and there. Jealousy. Wrath. But you only get to absolute evil by doing one thing after another until eventually you're transformed." Like Michael Jackson. Goth God turns some pages of the book, letting his fingers drift over the depictions of various lost souls. Joan: "Like...into a monster?" He says, "A monster is a creature with no consciousness. They're extremely rare, but they do exist." Yeah, and they work for Fox "News." Joan asks if he's watched the news: "I'm not sure they're so rare." Goth God says, "Almost everybody has some light somewhere. And light is always worth fighting for." Joan: "Okay, so I'm supposed to find Ramsay's...light." Goth God says: "I just want you to listen and observe. Be present." That is exactly what Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön is telling me in the book of hers I'm reading right now (When Things Fall Apart). Joan: "That's it?" Goth God doesn't answer, except by handing her the book, and he leaves.
When Joan gets home, she sees her parents drinking coffee at the dining room table. There's a plate for her, covered with tin foil, but all the rest of the dishes have been cleared away. Joan looks at them and says, "I have stuff to do." Helen calmly invites her to have a seat. Joan sighs, knowing what's coming. She sits. Will says that they want her to have a social life. Helen says they love to see her making friends and going out on dates. Will says they want her to see people who are good for her. Joan asks them to stop speaking in code: "Will you just say that Ramsay freaks you out?" Helen: "Ramsay freaks us out." Joan thinks they're going to prevent her from going to the dance. Helen says they definitely want her to go. Joan: "Just not with him." Will says it's a matter of her safety. Joan says her father hasn't even met him. Will: "No, but I know he has a juvenile record." Helen: "And I spoke to Chadwick..." Joan interjects, "Oh my God, I'd rather you guys just say no than go around spying on people!" Helen says she understands the appeal of somebody who breaks all the rules. Clearly she got over that. Will could be the "Straight Edge" poster boy. Joan: "Mom, this is not me being hot for some guy on a motorcycle." Will asks her to please explain what it is, then. Joan: "I don't know! Maybe he's like...trapped...in all these stories that people tell about him. Maybe what he needs is for someone to give him a chance...and like...have some faith." Will and Helen clearly don't know what to make of that. Man, I don't envy people with children most of the time, and I never envy people with teenagers, ever. Look how hard it is to be a good parent. Will and Helen are loving, patient, reasonable people who try to listen to their children at least some of the time, and look at what a struggle it is. They look at each other for a moment, and Helen makes a snap decision, "Okay, but there is no getting in cars with him. At all." Will: "You can meet him there, but stay in sight of your mother at all times." Joan says fine and asks to be dismissed. Helen: "Sure."
Joan's asleep when her cell phone goes off. She picks it up and says, "This better be wicked important, Grace." Grace? Grace calls Joan in the middle of the night? I mean, quite a few people probably have that number, but she just assumes it must be Grace? Quite interesting to think that they have a sufficiently close relationship to support that assumption. A male voice says, "It's not Grace." Joan wakes up more and says, "Ramsay? How'd you get my number?" Ramsay replies, "It wasn't as hard as your address. You got a nice porch." Great. Stalker behaviour, always a good sign, especially in addition to anger management issues. What will it take to get her to read Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear?
Joan pads quietly downstairs with her robe open over her pyjamas. I think I would have gotten fully dressed for this little confab. She pulls the curtains aside and sees Ramsay sitting there waiting for her. She seems slightly concerned, but opens the door anyway, choosing, I guess, to remember God's comment about never putting her in danger. She asks what he's doing there. He says, not in a joking way, "There was nothing good on TV." Joan smiles incredulously, and she says gently, "You're crazy." Well, maybe. His face softens slightly. He asks if she wants to go for a ride. She's all, dude, it's 2 AM. While she's thinking of how to respond to this, she sees a light go on inside. Oh, boy. She says she has to go, and disappears inside. He stands there, wavering slightly, vulnerable and disappointed and maybe confused. She opens the curtain and watches him leave. Once he does, she turns and leans against the door, her face registering several subtle expressions: concern, uncertainty, a heavenward glance, and finally, an inexplicably affectionate smile. What's she smiling about, exactly? I hope she's not silly enough to find this behaviour flattering or intriguing. If you are a teenage girl who finds anything about Steve's behaviour thus far appealing or romantic...go see a shrink. And read the de Becker book, dammit.
Will and Toni are eating Chinese food as they pore over documents. Jeanne brings them "every report filed from January up to Rowley's departure last August." Wait -- when the show started, Will had been in Arcadia about four months. So shouldn't Rowley have departed in late May or so? The show's timeline has been pretty closely aligned with real time so far. Toni has a question about a note Jeanne's made regarding four meetings the Chief had with Internal Affairs in his last week of work: "Was the department being investigated?" Jeanne says, "Not that I'm aware of, no." When Will asks who he met with, Jeanne says it was the head of IA: "That was Roy Roebuck." Dun dun dun! Toni says he's in arson. Will says Roebuck got busted down after Rowley left: "But he won't say why." Toni says if he was head of IA, he was either after something or in on it. Will's sure he's not in on it. Toni wonders why he doesn't come forward: "And why take a hit instead?" Will just nods.
Luke and Grace are in what looks like some kind of small auditorium cum lunchroom, working at a table together to decide their science fair project. As Adam wanders by, Luke says, "Now, it's boldly retro, but I'm thinking something involving Heisenberg's uncertainty principle." Adam pauses and then keeps going. I can't tell if it's because Grace and Luke ignore him or if he's put off by what they're discussing. Grace asks, "And that would be?" Luke is glad she asked. He begins by referring to the solar-system models of atoms taught in the fifth grade. To illustrate his point, he starts placing grapes around a cookie on the table. Luke: "Heisenberg says that's crap. There is no little nucleus, or at least, there is no way to determine where the nucleus is with any certainty. And -- and why, you ask?" Grace: "Not really." Luke, in between eating cookies and grapes: "Because just by looking for it, you change it. So by extension, the observer is always changing what we observe. I mean, reality itself is indeterminate." You're telling me. "And atoms, the very building blocks of matter, are nothing more than just mere clouds of possibility!" Grace: "Quit eating my grapes!" She seems genuinely pissed about it. Luke, undeterred: "Now, off of this, we can go in several different directions, like phototropism, where, you know, you, um...determine how a plant grows under light..." Grace suddenly yanks a diagram out from under the grapes and cookie and asks, "What's this?" Luke: "Uh, that's a rail gun...you use electromagnetic currents to basically...shoot a slug." Grace is interested: "That sounds cool -- let's do that." Since Friedman hasn't been a jackass around Luke in the last ten minutes, it's time for him to come along and take care of business: "Still scrambling for a project?" Is it my TV, or my eyes, or does Grace have a big strip of duct tape across her left boot? And she seems to be wearing a light pink T-shirt under her leather jacket. Also, when I was eight, my Ken doll used to have a sweater just like Friedman's. Luke says they're narrowing it down: "How's the sonoluminescence going?" Friedman: "Latest results on my website, if you're interested: WrathofFriedman.com." Snerk. Please. And Sony registered it on Dec. 4, 2003 (it redirects to the official site). I guess they didn't want to get beat out like they did on JoanofArcadia.com. Heh.
Grace makes no attempt to conceal her eye-rolling. Friedman notices it, of course, and decides to needle her some: "So, uh, guess we won't be seeing you at the dance tomorrow night." Grace: "Says who?" Friedman: "It's an assumption based on the unlikely hypothesis of you wearing a dress." I figured he was going to insinuate either that she was gay or unable to find a date. I realize dresses are customary for semi-formals and these sorts of soirées, but is Marlene going to be standing at the door enforcing it or something? Also, while we're on the topic: Grace would look killer in a well-cut tuxedo. I'm just saying. Grace: "Well, guess what, Galileo? Your assumptions suck. And we'll see you at the dance. Now beat it before I give you a wedgie!" She steals a glance at Luke in there to see his reaction. Also: I would pay cash money to see Grace (or anybody, really) give Friedman a wedgie of any sort, atomic or otherwise -- get it? AP Chem? Atomic? -- and I will be taking up a collection forthwith. Friedman's a little overconfident: "You can't give me a wedgie." She starts toward him, and he scuttles away. Once he's gone, she sighs. Luke: "Are we...going to the Crystal Ball?" Grace grabs her stuff and says, "Must have got caught up in the testosterone!" His, or yours? She tears off. Luke watches her go, mildly confused. Then he smiles to himself and says, "Cool."
Adam's sitting a table eating lunch by himself when Joan comes in. She stops when she sees him, and then decides to sit down across from him. He doesn't react much other than to chew more slowly. She asks what he's eating. We see a shot of...I'm not sure what. A mustard and ketchup sammich on whole wheat bread? Joan, ever so tactfully: "Is that like your brain on drugs?" Adam says it's a fried egg sandwich: "My dad's specialty." Subtext: "You know...not all of us having doting parents who cook wonderful meals for us. Heck, some of us don't even have mothers. And you know, my art was my way of coping with the loss of my mother..." Well, I might be loading a bit more into the fried egg sammich than is actually there. Adam got a hair cut. He looks very cute, even with the bruises from being used as Ramsay's punching bag. Joan attempts a different conversational gambit: "So, you missed the first interesting chem lab ever...we used orange juice to turn on a light bulb." You know, I'm probably straining here, but it struck me that the experiment was a metaphor for Joan and Steve: the live wire (Steve) is connected to a sugary (sweet) substance (Joan), and it produces light. Yeah, I think I just subluxated a rib. Adam says softly, "Look...I don't really want to talk about it, okay?" I'm not sure if by "it" he means their estrangement, her date with Ramsay, the chemistry experiment, or all of it. Through the window in the door behind them, Joan sees Ramsay standing there, holding up his notebook in which he's written, "Whazzup?" in big block letters. She says, "Okay, fine. I have to go." I can't believe Adam doesn't notice her nervously eyeing the door, and he doesn't turn around to watch her go. I think he's too surprised not to be the one walking away from her for a change. The look on his face says to me that he thinks maybe he realizes he risks losing her altogether. Even though I don't think she's given him much reason to forgive her, I think he's softening.
Out in the hall, Ramsay asks, "So what's up? Stoner Boy needs a bodyguard?" Joan says he's not a stoner, and he's a really nice guy: "What'd you have to beat him up for, anyway?" Ramsay sneers, "Ever since seventh grade he acts like he's some big artist." Really? I certainly got the impression from earlier episodes that Adam was fairly protective of his gift -- not just around Price. He asserts, "Anybody can twist up a bunch of tin foil!" Joan: "And that's what you do, is just beat up whoever bugs you?" Ramsay: "You got a problem with that?" Joan: "Yes, I do! It's fine if you're pissed off at the world but to take it out on the one person who would never hit you back is pathetic!" Joan starts to walk away. Ramsay, looking hurt and surprised, says, "Look, I know I'm a jerk! It's just I get mad about stuff and...I don't think right." Fred Koehler does a heck of a "hurt" face. Joan looks at him for a moment and then reaches into her pocket, saying, "I have a tie...in case you need one." Ramsay takes it, obviously caught off guard by the gesture. Joan watches his reaction as he looks at the tie and smiles to herself. She walks away as he watches her, wondering why she reacts so differently to him than everyone else seems to.
Night time shot of Arcadia. Will and Toni are at a bar with Roy, who's saying, "So? A public official in Arcadia's taking graft. I thought you said you had something serious to talk about." Will says, "You know this is serious because it cost you your job." Toni asks how far it goes. Roy says he couldn't tell them: "I stopped before I found the end of it." Will assures him that he's got someone on his side this time, and that he won't sell him out like Rowley did. Roy: "This isn't just blowing a whistle and picking up another award for being the town hero. This could cost you everything you have." Will says they're not naïve about the implications. Roy reminds Will that he lost his career and his wife over this -- though I still don't think I'm clear on exactly why this cost him his marriage. Will: "You once told me you'd be one amazed son of a bitch if I did my job. I'm here to do it." Roy sighs and looks at Toni, who says nothing. After a bit of internal debate, Roy pulls out an accordion file full of information and places it on the table in front of himself, saying, "This is everything I got. It runs all the way to the top. Now, after I left IA, I put it away...figured I'd wait 'til the right person started asking questions." He pushes the file toward Will, adding, "I hope like hell that's who I'm talking to."
Will walks up behind DA Gabe Fellowes at some sort of putting practice place. (For those who are new to my recaps: I don't know or care about sports, and am hugely grateful to the writers of this show for hardly ever bringing up the subject and not leaning on weary sports clichés and metaphors as much as some writers.) Will apologizes for bothering him, causing him to miss his swing. Heh. Gabe says, "Chief Girardi. Another moment, that could have been a nasty news item. What are you doing here?" Will's got Roy's file under his arm. He tells Gabe he met with Roebuck, who had lots of interesting things to say, especially concerning Rowley. Gabe asks if he should be following something here. Will says affably, "Oh, let's not play our usual games, shall we, Gabe? Roy Roebuck collected enough evidence on corruption in this city to take you and possibly everyone else down to the ground. Now I know you cut a deal with Rowley about this to shut him up." (Why does the closed captioning say "Kaminski" instead of "Rowley"? Don't ask me.)
Gabe maintains a composed expression of polite interest throughout all this. Will says, "I want the same deal." What? Frink and I think he must be wearing a wire. Surely he doesn't think Gabe's quite that stupid...Gabe: "I'll say one thing, Girardi, that's, uh...that's an impressive learning curve." Will says he catches on eventually. Gabe claims he's got the wrong guy: "As far as I know, Chief Rowley retired to be with his grandkids. So if you have something I should know about, I suggest you leave it with me, and I'll see if it warrants an investigation." Will starts to leave, saying that if Gabe's not willing to work with him, he'll find someone who is. Gabe gets a bit touchy at this point, suggesting they "follow protocol; otherwise, the consequences could be dangerous." Will casually says he'd prefer to hold on to the file. Gabe: "It's not your area of expertise, Girardi. Let me handle it." Yeah, Gabe's the big expert on corruption. Will: "Perhaps I didn't make myself clear." Gabe: "Perhaps I didn't make myself clear: give me the package, Girardi. Now." Will pretends to consider this and says, "Then again, maybe it's best to play by the rules." He hands over the folder and walks away. Gabe wastes no time opening it up, only to find it full of shredded newspaper. He looks over at Will, who's stopped to turn and give Gabe a little smirk.
Sunset over Arcadia, and REM's "Bad Day" is playing. There's a shot of a spinning mirror ball as Frink comments, "That must have been expensive." I screw up my face, confused, and ask, "A mirror ball?" Frink: "No, the REM song." We see Friedman arrive at the dance with his date, Glenys, who's wearing a fur-trimmed cardigan over her dress. And there's Joan, wearing a cute black dress with a very full skirt and a border of large red flowers. She's also wearing a red bolero jacket over it. It's a nice, vintage look. I like how she dresses, Dr. Who scarves and all, and I love that the teenagers on this show don't all dress like they're trying out to be in Britney Spears's video or Calvin Klein's TV commercial. She's wearing her hair down, and pulled back at the sides, but in some shots it kind of looks like it's been badly pin-curled. I wonder, in these days of all manner of newfangled hairstyling appliances, how many of you even know what pin-curls are anymore. I remember in the early '70s, before curling irons were a commonplace consumer item, my mother would make me wet my hair completely, and sit in the bathroom while she wound small hanks of hair around her finger and pinned them to my head with bobby pins. Once my whole head was covered with these little knobs, I'd tie a do-rag over the whole mess and try to sleep on it. Yeah, there's a good night's rest. Then in the morning, if you were lucky, your hair would be dry and curly when the pins were taken out. It was never a very good or even job, though. This would go on the night before class pictures and other such momentous events. I liked having curly or wavy hair, but man, was I happy when curling irons came on the market.
Joan notices Steve standing uncomfortably off to the side. He's wearing a grey suit and a white shirt, and no tie. He's got a suit, but needed a tie? Seems weird. When Joan sees him, she says, "Hey." He doesn't really say anything, and Joan kind of shrugs to herself and walks over, asking where his tie is. He pulls it out of his pocket, saying he wasn't going to put it on unless she showed. While he starts putting it on, she says, "Well, I guess you lose." In the background, you can see Price standing against a far wall with his arms crossed, counting off the minutes until one of them commits some infraction or other. Joan offers to help him tie his tie; she says she always does that for her brother. (Luke, I'm guessing; Kevin strikes me as being able to do it himself.) Steve shrugs and lets her. Joan advises him to be glad he doesn't have to wear high heels. Steve watches her with the expression of a hurt child. Behind them, Friedman calls out, "Yo, tie it in a noose." Steve lunges for Friedman, and Joan stops him and yells at Friedman, "Shut up, Brillohead!" Hey. An improvement on "Shut it, Friedman." I may go with that, though I love the stark minimalism of "Shut it, Friedman." As Friedman and Glenys scamper away, Friedman makes sure to call Price's attention to the minor incident -- as if Price weren't watching the whole thing like an animal waiting to pounce. Steve says, "Let's get out of here!" Joan: "No way! I didn't put on this stupid dress for nothing." She finishes with his tie and pulls him toward the dance floor. As they pass Price, he says, "Mr. Ramsay. Joan." Ooh, she's graduated from "Ms. Girardi."
The camera swings across the dance floor. It's not the most well-attended dance I've ever seen. It's certainly not crowded. The attendees are outnumbered by streamers by about twenty-five to one. Joan looks around at the sparkly, transformed gym and remarks, "I can't believe this is the same place I got creamed in dodgeball." She notices Steve wandering off behind her and follows him. He's gone off to an empty corner and turned his back; when she catches up, he turns slightly and shows her an unopened bottle of alcohol (whiskey, I think, but I know/care about as much about alcohol as I do about sports), asking if she wants some. Joan freaks a bit and says, "No way! I'm not gonna get suspended." Not this week, anyway. You can tell she thinks God's put her in over her head. Steve says, "Okay. Fine." He puts the bottle back in his breast pocket. She takes his hand and drags him back to the dance floor.
There's some blather from the DJ in the centre of the room, and then we cut a scene of Friedman and Glenys..."dancing." For those who didn't catch the episode, let me describe first their attire: Friedman is wearing black pants, a burgundy jacket, a pink ruffled shirt, and a black skinny tie. The effect is so Artie Ziff I can't believe it's not intentional (and props to depthfunction and documentia for mentioning him, because I knew he reminded me of somebody and I couldn't think of who). His dancing is an uninhibited and unfortunate blend of Disco Stu and Elaine Benes. Glenys, who is probably a really gorgeous girl under all the dweeby window-dressing, is dressed completely wrong for her figure. She's wearing a pale beige or pink dress with a tightly fitted bodice and a knee-length, A-line skirt with some slight fullness to it. There's a burgundy ribbon at the waist and some sparkly floral appliqués on the bodice. She's wearing black high heels that exaggerate her height advantage over Friedman, and her hair is worn long. The outfit is about as flattering on her as that pink dress was on Gwyneth at the Oscars -- yeah, you know the one I mean. She kind of flails around apathetically opposite Friedman. Oh, they're a pair, baby. Nearby, Luke is sitting at a table alone -- waiting for Grace, I guess. I'm disappointed that there hasn't been any discussion between the siblings, especially Joan and Luke, about this development. Then again, maybe he hasn't said anything to anyone, since he probably thinks she won't show up anyway. The song playing is "Another Postcard" by the Barenaked Ladies.
Grace walks in behind Luke, wearing a hot pink (!) strapless sheath dress underneath her leather jacket. She's kind of styled her hair by flipping the ends out and she's wearing quite a lot of makeup, and the overall effect is not entirely flattering. At first glance, it's kind of "Hooker #3" on NYPD Blue. Still, I think it's adorable that she made an effort. And it's not like most teenage boys are all that discriminating. There's been much speculation on the forums about where she got that dress: borrowed it? Perhaps from some unmentioned sibling? Bought it? Parents gave it to her? My theory is that it's a leftover from some cousin's wedding in which she was forced to be a bridesmaid. She sidles up behind Luke and says, "This music sucks." Word. Not fond of the Ladies, sorry. Luke stands up, duly surprised, and takes her in, saying, "Wow!" Grace smiles tightly and says, "Yeah. Don't talk about it." They glance over at Friedman, who is energetically spinning and tossing Glenys around. Grace's first question: "Where's your sister?" Interesting. Not "You look nice, too" or "This is for losers, man" or "Let's flush Friedman down the toilet," but "Where's your sister?" Luke says he doesn't know, although in a room this empty, you'd think she'd be easy to spot. Luke politely asks, "Uh...did you want to take off your coat..." Grace: "Cool it, horndog! I'm not there yet."
We cut to Adam, sitting at a table at the dance, writing something. I should probably mock him for his antisocial tendencies, but I'm the sort of person who'd rather write at a dance than dance, so you won't be hearing from me. Adam's wearing a black suit and a grey shirt with a grey and black vertically striped tie, and he looks very cute. Hey, it's been a few pages since I mentioned he's cute. Helen walks over -- looking extremely gorgeous, I might add, in a pretty red and white printed sleeveless top and black skirt -- and says hello to him. She's got a goofy "Chaperone" snowflake thing pinned on her, but she wears it well, and her hair looks especially nice. When Adam sees her, his eyes light up a bit, and he stands up. I like that he seems to have that kind of reflexive courtesy. There's just a fleeting Mrs. Robinson vibe there for a second or two, but it mostly passes. I'm sure the show would not go that route, and I think Adam is beginning to view Helen as a bit of a surrogate mom. She certainly seems to like him a lot better than she did initially. Helen says, "Looks like you came stag, huh?" Adam nods and says, "Yeah." And then: "What?" Helen explains what "stag" means, but adds she doesn't know why it's called that. There's probably a moose/elk joke in there, but trust me, it's really early in the morning and you're going to have to fend for yourselves on that front. Let me know what you come up with. Adam asks if she's seen Joan yet; Helen says she hasn't. They glance around the dance floor, where Friedman is flinging Glenys around, and she detaches and falls into Luke's arms. She looks quite happy about it; Grace, not so much. Friedman comes gyrating over and grabs her back. He resumes his bizarre square dancing moves with Glenys as Luke and Grace watch, somewhat appalled. Luke: "Do you sometimes wonder if high school will ever come to an end?" Grace just nods.
Joan's corralled Steve into a photograph. As the camera flashes, we cut back to Adam and Helen. Adam's noticed Joan and Steve together, and he just gives Helen a glum look and starts to walk away. You can tell Helen feels his pain, and she says, "Adam, wait. Girls are just...stupid in high school, okay? If you will just hang on a few more years, I guarantee you, eventually the smart girls will figure out that guys like you are way more interesting than guys like Ramsay." Adam just barely nods.
Friedman says to Luke, "So, Polk looks pretty hot under all that feminazi garb. Who knew, huh? Hey." Wow, like I didn't already want to punch Friedman's lights out. Glenys stands by, admiring Luke and trying to look casual but pretty. Luke, quite annoyed: "Did you just say 'feminazi'?" Friedman: "Be straight with me, Girardi. You guys exchanging fluids?" Yeah, long protein strings. God! Shut it, Friedman. Luke: "Why am I friends with you?" Indeed. Friedman: "Well, it's the only explanation. Why else would you commit science fair suicide?" Luke sighs and says, "What can I say? 'The search for truth is more precious than its possessions.'" That's Einstein, but I think the correct quotation is "...possession," which makes more sense. Macy Gray's "When I See You" starts to play, making me very happy since I love her and I love this song. Grace arrives back with a couple of drinks at this point, just in time to hear Friedman say, "Okay, seriously, invest in Birkenstocks now, because you're doomed to a life of lesbian worship!" He scuttles a little distance away again like the miserable coward he is. Glenys follows. Grace, fed up, sets down the two cups as Luke stands up, and she puts her hands on his neck and kisses him passionately for several seconds. Then she pulls his jacket off, shrugs hers off, and hands them both to him. She kind of tugs on his tie and then heads for the dance floor. Luke follows, dumping their jackets on Friedman, who remarks excitedly to Glenys, "Did he just convert her from Mac to PC?" Shut. It. Friedman. God, what an asshat. Glenys, for her part, is obviously heartbroken and struggles to contain her disappointment. Me, I'm buying Grape Nehis for everyone on the deck of the Luke/Grace 'ship (which I'm riding while my favourite 'ship's in dock).
Out on the dance floor, Price is dancing with a woman I presume is another teacher, though he looks like he attended the same dance school as Friedman. Macy Gray is playing, but he appears to be hearing either Devo or the B-52s, if you ask me. Friedman's gyrating with Glenys again, and he bops over to Luke and Grace. Luke's making an effort, but is not going to be onstage in Madonna's concert tour either. Grace is a little better; she at least has some rhythm and doesn't move like there's some alien being inside her body that's trying to escape. Speaking of which, Friedman marches Glenys over to where Joan's trying to get Steve to dance. Friedman continues parading her all over the dance floor -- buddy must think there are extra points for mileage -- as Joan tells Steve, "Don't think of it as dancing. Just pretend like you're on fire or something." Hee. Joan dances around Steve as he stands there trying to get with the program. As the song ends, Glenys is thrown into Joan, who lands against Steve. The DJ starts a slow song and advises the guys to "pull her close," so they just go with it, after some initial hesitation.
Steve mumbles something to Joan's shoulder, and Joan says, "What?" Steve manages to stammer out that she smells nice. She smiles a little. They keep dancing and he suddenly dips her, just a very shallow one. She's pleasantly surprised, and giggles with delight. Steve laughs and admits he's always wanted to do that. Joan says, "Do it again." I hate to admit it, but they have some chemistry. He takes her hand gently and they dance another moment before he tries again. He miscalculates this time, though, and Joan goes down a little too far and ends up lying on the floor, laughing. Before Joan can even get up, Price is there, asking what's going on. Steve: "Nothing, she fell." Joan: "We were just dancing." Helen zooms over too: "What's going on?" Joan laughs, "Nothing!" Price: "That's not what I saw." Steve slaps Price's arm away, saying, "Get your hand off me!" Helen doesn't seem upset; she just asks Joan if she's okay. Joan says she is. Price starts to grab Steve as he objects that he didn't do anything. Before long he's got his hand inside Steve's jacket and has discovered the liquor bottle: "Oh, really? Then what is this, Mr. Ramsay?" Joan points out it's not even open. Price: "You brought alcohol onto school premises -- which you know is grounds for expulsion?" Joan yelps, "What?" Steve slaps Price's arm away again and backs away. He runs out, throwing a chair to the ground on the way. Joan, horrified, starts after him as Helen grabs her hand and says, "Don't you think that's enough now?" Joan shakes her hand free and says, "God, Mom, you act like you wanted something to happen!" Helen: "I wanted you to go with someone decent!" Joan doesn't know what to say to that, and runs out. As she passes the DJ, he says to her, "Don't let him go, Joan!" Joan stops and says, "You said all I had to do was listen to him!" DJ Kool G: "You're not finished. Hurry!"
Joan runs out to see that Steve's backing his pickup out of the parking lot. She screams, "Ramsay!" She runs for the vehicle. Behind her, Adam's just run out of the school to see all this. Joan stands right in front of the truck and holds up her hands to get Steve to stop, which he does, though I kind of thought he was prepared to run her down. She opens the passenger door and says, "I told them what happened! You won't get expelled!" Steve snarls, "Just forget it!" Joan begs him to come back inside with her. He screeches, "Leave me alone!" Joan jumps into the truck, and he peels out. Adam, who's watched the whole thing, runs back into the school.
Will and Toni are working late, going over Roebuck's material. Toni says he wasn't exaggerating: "Kickbacks on construction contracts eight years running, council members and judges taking bribes, city inspectors, the mayor." Will: "I hate to say it, but we may be in over our heads on this." He notices Toni's face and says, "You don't have to be a part of this, Detective, but if you're going to step away, you should do it now." His cell phone rings and he answers it, saying right away, "Helen, can I call you back?" Then he listens and says he'll be right there in ten minutes. He gives Toni the number of his FBI field rep in Chicago -- Victor de la Cruz -- and tells her to call him: "Get him everything tonight. Tell him we're putting ourselves in his hands." She takes the number and says, "Okay. I got it."
Sirens and lights as Will and a uniformed officer pull into the school parking lot. Helen and Adam come running out; Helen says, "She's in his truck!" Will asks what happened; Adam says Joan ran after Steve and jumped in his truck as he was leaving. Helen tells Will he may have been drinking. Adam: "There's this place that he hangs out at sometimes -- I think I can get you there." Will: "Okay, let's go." Helen gives Will an anxious look, and he assures her it's going to be okay. Will, Adam, and the officer take off in the two cars as Helen stands there, prematurely aging some more.
Joan and Steve arrive at some junky-looking spot surrounded by torn chain-link fencing out in the woods. He stops the truck and gets out. Joan follows, asking, "Where are you going? What, you're just not going to talk to me? Listen! I know -- you have to believe me when I say that everything's going to be okay. I can't tell you how I know that, I just do." Steve barks, "Just stop talking! I'm trying to think." He stops, bending over to unlock some huge metal trunk. Joan want to know what there is to think about. Steve is very tearful and upset: "You don't understand! I just got expelled!" He opens the trunk and starts extracting and loading a semi-automatic gun, which Joan can't see yet. He continues, "That is the one thing that can't happen! Now my stepdad's gonna kick me out and I'll have to call my real dad, which is something that I never, ever wanna do. He'll say some BS about how he's not surprised and make some excuse why I can't stay with him, which means this is it, I am done!" Joan: "Can't you just tell your dad that it was my fault?" Steve turns around and points the gun at her and shouts, "No, it is not your fault! It's Price!" ["I'd just like to say good on the writers for having Steve blame that martinet Price and not himself." -- Sars] Joan's good and scared now. Steve keeps gesturing with the gun: "He's been after me since the seventh grade -- well, now he can go to hell!" Joan is whimperventilating, but manages to control the onset of hysteria to ask, "What are you doing?" He looks at the gun, which is still pointed at her, and asks, "You know what my record is?" He walks a little distance away and faces a makeshift shooting range, with some broken bottles sitting on a fence. "It's twelve hits in fourteen shots." Okay, so we've established that he's a much better shot than, say, Mulder. He fires, and the first bottle explodes. Joan shrieks a little and says, "Okay, wait, wait. You shouldn't, like, hurt anybody or yourself..." Steve: "Quiet! You have to fire between heartbeats." He shoots off another couple of bullets. Joan: "This wasn't supposed to happen -- you weren't supposed to get expelled!" Steve stops shooting and says, "Don't worry about it." He turns to her, "I still had a pretty good time." Joan isn't convinced this counts as a "good time." Steve: "Oh, sure it is. See, the way I see it, high school is war. You're the first person to be on my side." Joan carefully takes a couple of steps toward him, saying, "But it wouldn't -- it wouldn't be like that, if you would just...let people see, like, your whole spectrum." Steve shouts, "All people want from me is a creeped-out, psycho gun freak, so that's what I give them!" Joan, tearfully: "That's not who you are! That's not who anyone is!" Sirens and lights indicate Will's arrival -- and I'm sure Adam's had an interesting time deciding what and how much to tell her father about Steve -- and Steve asks, "You want to take off? Just the two of us, right now?" She asks, "Where are we gonna go?" He says, "I don't know, we'll just go. Come on!" Dude. Seriously, you will go 300 feet before her father shoots your tires out, if not your brains. Get a grip. And not one with a handgun attached.
While Joan is pondering this, she sees her father and Adam get out of the first car; Will's holding up his gun. He says, "Put your hands in the air!" Steve turns around like greased lightning and has his weapon drawn on Will. Joan shouts, "Wait!" Will tells him to drop his weapon. Steve: "No, you first!" Will tells Joan to get in the car. Joan: "Dad, listen...I can explain!" He tells her again to go to the car. Steve screams, "I didn't hurt her!" Will decides -- interestingly, after the situation he found himself in in the last episode, although of course the uniformed officer has a gun on Steve, too -- to put his gun down on the hood of the car and start carefully walking around the long stretch of fence toward Steve. Will tells Steve to put down his weapon and then they can talk. Steve sobs, "You're not gonna listen to me! You already got your mind made up!" Will: "You stole my daughter and threatened her with a gun -- yeah, I'm drawing some conclusions." Steve says he didn't steal anyone. Joan: "He didn't, Dad! I went with him!" Will says, "Joan!" in a way that means, "Shut it, girlie." He keeps walking slowly toward Steve, saying, "Now, you wanna shoot me, Steve? Is that gonna make it better?" Steve: "Maybe!" Will promises him it will end Steve's life as he knows it: "I don't think that's what you want." Steve shouts, "What do you know about me?" Then he screams, "You don't know anything!" Joan covers her face and gasps some more. Will, still steadily advancing: "Let me tell you something -- and you're not gonna believe me until you're older -- this will end. This...hell you're living through right now is mostly made up of things you had no control over. But this place that you end up...that's gonna be all you." He's much closer to them now, only a few feet away. Steve sobs, "Well, maybe I'm ready to go to hell, 'cause it can't be any worse!" Joan begs, "Steve, don't!" Will: "You hear that? My daughter sees something in you. Now, that counts for something in my book. Are you telling me she's wrong, that there's not something worse saving in there?" Steve doesn't answer, but his resolve might be weakening a little. Will: "Now come on, son -- let's you, and me, see tomorrow." Will's practically inches away now, and Will just gives him a puzzled, encouraging look: "Come on." Steve sobs a bit and drops his hands to his sides. Will gingerly reaches for the gun and Steve hands it over, crying. Will puts his arm around him as they walk toward the car, saying, "Attaboy. It's all right." And then: "Hey, is that my tie?" Hee. Laughter through the tears, always welcome. And a good thing too; my exclamation point is nearly gone from my keyboard, and I can't remember the last episode that didn't make me cry. Which is okay. I'd rather cry than cringe. I just wish we'd gotten at least one reaction shot of Adam in there, although from a direction/editing point of view, it probably would have seemed stuck in, and it's better the way they did it. It's also interesting to me that both Helen and Will tonight had to give the "it won't always be like this, it won't always be this awful" speech to two different boys, neither of them their own.
Helen's sitting in the living room, reflecting and worrying. Joan and Will arrive home, and Helen says to Joan, "Okay. Start talking." Man. You see what I mean by patient and reasonable? If I'd pulled shit like that when I was sixteen -- twenty-two years ago -- you could open the front door of my parents' house now and still hear them yelling about it. Joan, petulantly: "Why? You're not going to listen to anything I have to say." Helen: "Oh, this is not you mouthing off, Joan. This is you explaining why defied everything your father and I specifically said!" Kevin wheels in behind his mother. First time he's been in the whole episode; I almost forgot about him. Luke shows up, too. Joan: "What about Price? It's 'cause of him this whole thing started!" Joan turns to her father, who says, "We said no cars under any circumstances -- there were no exceptions to that!" Helen: "It wasn't Price who pulled a gun on your father!" Will: "Do you have any idea how seriously you could have been hurt tonight?" Joan: "I'm sorry." She sighs and puts her hands to her head. She adds, "This whole -- this whole thing has gotten way out of hand." Helen: "So what do we do now? Is it back to therapy, or what?" Kevin and Luke are quick to put the kibosh on that, and Joan and Will look similarly enthused about that idea. Helen: "Okay, we will do this the old-fashioned way." Beatings? "You are grounded, young lady." Geez, that just doesn't seem like a very big punishment to me. Helen starts up the stairs and stops, turns, and shouts, "And as for everybody else, if we could just k
eep it down to one tragedy a month, that would be really great." She goes upstairs. Joan asks her father quietly, "You're not going to put him in jail, are you?" Will: "He threatened to shoot the chief of police. It doesn't look good." Joan, softly: "I'm really sorry, Daddy." Man, it sickens me the way daddy's girls pull out the "Daddy" shit every time they're in trouble. It's bad enough when they're teenagers, but it's really off-putting when they get to be adults. Will says to all three kids, "It's been a long night. Let's just all go to bed." He goes upstairs. Kevin says, "So, uh...I'm thinking no second date with you and this guy?" Joan giggles a bit and then goes back to fretting. Kevin: "Don't worry about Mom and Dad. They've just had enough kid trauma for a lifetime. You know?" He wheels away. Joan sighs and slides to the floor.
The FBI is crawling all over the Arcadia Police Station, packing up files and searching through things as everybody watches or tries to go about their work. Will arrives, and Toni tells him the same thing is going on at the DA's office and at City Hall: "The entire city's under investigation. Victor de la Cruz says hello." Will says she's done good work, and asks if she's okay. Toni: "This affects a lot of people, you know? Can't help feeling like I pulled the trigger." Will: "All we did was look where nobody else would look."
Adam's at his locker at school when Joan walks up and says, "Thanks for showing up with my dad." He doesn't look at her; he just stares down into his locker, saying, "They just needed to know where to go." She says, "Adam, I know I keep doing these incredibly stupid and hurtful things to you, but you have to believe me when I say that hurting you is the last thing I want to do." He closes his locker and turns to face her. He says evenly, looking her right in the eye: "I'm sure you have your reasons." He walks away. Joan looks dejected, but not especially disappointed to find she's once again failed to make a sufficient apology. Down the busy hallway, Joan spots the back of Mrs. LandingGod. For some reason, she's standing there with a plate of cupcakes. She turns and smiles warmly at Joan. If I were Joan, I really think I'd ask God about how to mend things with Adam. She walks up to Mrs. LandingGod and says, "You're really good at showing up when nobody needs you." We see that Mrs. LandingGod is wearing a handmade construction-paper button that says, "HELP SOCCER [image of soccer ball] EAT MORE COOKIES." At least I think it says "cookies," though she's carrying cupcakes. Well, God works in mysterious ways. Mrs. LandingGod: "Well, now, that's your opinion." Joan: "So what do you want me to fail at this time?" She asks, "Now what makes you think you failed? You did exactly what I asked you to do. You observed." Joan: "Hm! And what good did that do anybody? Ramsay's going to jail, Adam hates me even more..." Mrs. LandingGod says, "Observation is a more powerful force than you could possibly reckon: the invisible, the overlooked, and the unobserved are those that are most in danger of reaching the end of the spectrum. They lose the last of their light. From there, anything can happen." Joan listens carefully, but isn't convinced: "Okay, fine. I observed Ramsay. His life is still ruined." Mrs. LandingGod patiently explains: "His life wasn't the only one at stake." Joan: "What do you mean?"
We see a slow-mo shot of a girl down the hall as Mrs. LandingGod says, "There's Laura Eason, ninth grader. She plays the flute. She would have been one of the first to go." There's a quiet gunshot and the camera freeze-frames her. "Coming out of orchestra at the wrong time." Down the hall, we see a couple of jocks, and there's another shot and a freeze-frame as Mrs. LandingGod continues, "And Andrew Bayer, he would have tried to save his friend Lawrence DiStasi and lost his life." Then we see Price, marching down the hall to harass yet another student. Gunshot, freeze-frame. "And Gavin Price, and three other students in the cafeteria, and Mr. Harvey, and Ms. Schmidt in the library, and finally, Steve Ramsay himself. And for each of these faces, Joan, there are twelve more whose lives would have come to an end today." I'm not quite sure how to take that: One hundred and thirty two dead? That'd be an astonishingly large massacre for one person to carry off. I presume it's a reference to the victims' loved ones. Mrs. LandingGod continues, "Lives altered forever by you, by the simple effect of being present...by entering the light, by joining the dance." Joan is quite moved by this. A tear escapes from Joan's eye, and she quickly wipes it away. It strikes me that she's gotten over a lot of her concern about appearing normal and fitting in.
And this is the halfway point of the season; eleven episodes in, Joan's had a lot of experiences and her faith has obviously been tested and strengthened a lot. I agree this episode was pretty heavy over all and the ending is probably a bit heavy-handed, but it's also time God let Joan in on the bigger picture just a little more, and it was necessary for God to spell things out for her. Joan and Mrs. LandingGod stand there in the middle of the hall watching the students streaming around them, untouched by a potentially enormous tragedy, first in slow-motion and then normally. Reed Foehl's song, "When It Comes Around," plays. I couldn't find the lyrics online, so here's my best attempt: "Here it comes, there it goes / Only life, I suppose / Hearts get torn, love is born / We're gathering stones / We're rolling home / Growing up, falling down / On this merry-go-round / Start the race and again / Over and over, it never ends..."
Okay, that was a heck of a half-season. I think the TV gods were trying to make up to me for inflicting the third season of The West Wing on me. Here's what I want Barbara Hall et al. to bring me for Chrismukkuh: 1. More Adam. 2. More Grace. 3. For Joan and Adam to work out their problems and be a couple. 4. Definitely for Grace and Luke to get together, but I don't mind if it's a bit rocky. 5. No weapons pointed at any Girardi heads for a little while. 6. More theological and philosophical contributions from non-Judeo-Christian spiritual traditions, especially Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, and neo-paganism. 7. Rebecca and Kevin? Sure. 8. Lots of long, complicated, subtle story arcs. 9. More of the interesting and uncommon music, though I'm good with the Macy Gray. 10. This show not to suck, ever.