The Boat

Joan (wearing a Dr. Who-esque scarf), Grace, and Adam are walking through the halls at school. Grace is decrying the "fascist hierarchy" inherent in the assignment of homework. Adam: "Dude: she wants to pass." Grace: "Do you think it's funny to call me 'dude'?" As Joan notices something on the floor and bends to pick it up, she tells Grace that Adam calls everyone that. Grace: "Well, stop. It's totally pre-millennial." Joan's found a wallet, and it kind of looks like it has some sort of emblem on it, but it's too dark or I'm too blind to make it out. Adam: "Wait...what's the new 'dude'?" Grace advises him, "Trying saying 'yo' at the end of a sentence." Joan opens the wallet and finds a bunch of bills, much to her surprise. Adam glances at it: "We're stinkin' rich, yo." Grace looks at Joan, disgusted: "You're gonna turn it in, aren't you? A willing pawn of the power elites." Grace, if you only knew the authority she's answering to. Joan makes a comment about having the feeling of being watched, and walks off. Grace reminds Adam that Joan's right: "We are under surveillance 80 percent of the time." Adam seems like he's about to make a skeptical remark, then looks around in a sort of paranoid way. These three are fun together. I really hope they keep Grace and Adam around. Joan could use some real friends.

Joan walks down the hall after a guy in uniform and asks if it's his wallet. He says it is, and that it's nice to find someone so honest, and that a reward is in order. Joan assures him: "Oh no...I support the troops." He hands her a bunch of bills and Joan refuses, saying it's way too much. Military Guy states, "That's exactly the right amount for what I'm about to ask you to do." They exchange looks as Joan figures out who it is, and he confirms it with his expression. She folds up the money and says, "God joined the Army." Military God: "Navy. It's thematic." She looks puzzled as he tells her he wants her to build a boat. Joan gripes about the all the make-work projects: "All these annoying, bogus assignments, instead of doing something really big, like, you know, saving the world." Military God: "Last time I asked someone to build a boat, it turned out to be something really big, like, you know, saving the world." Joan bitches that she's got a really hard AP Chem test coming up, and she doesn't even have a boyfriend: "Why couldn't you ask me to get a boyfriend?" Psst, Joan! Adam. I'm just saying. God just kind of waves away her concerns and walks off up the stairs as Joan rants, "'Build a boat,' he says. Okay, um...how big? Exxon Valdez? Should I plan for a lot of rain? I don't know how to build a boat!" He disappears around a corner as Joan fumes: "Unbe-liev-able!" and stomps off.

A bunch of guys are playing basketball in a gym; one half of the court is taken up by able-bodied players; the other half is taken up by players in wheelchairs. Will and Kevin come in, and Will asks Kevin, "What do you think?" Kevin: "I used to call it basketball. Now I call it blackmail." Will says that Kevin wants him to buy him a new transmission, and he wants Kevin to gets some exercise: "This isn't blackmail. It's an accommodation between two reasonable men." Will calls out to some guy named "Bear," who calls a timeout to come over and talk to him. Will says quietly to Kevin, "Barry works in the property room. Great guy." Kevin replies, "Yeah, we're bound to hit it off, because, hey, we're both crippled." Will tells him not to "be this way," and asks him to give it a chance. Bear comes over and shakes their hands. Bear says of Kevin, "He's got ." Is that sports talk? I don't know what that means. That sounds like "They am happily" or "We went lamp" to me. ["That didn't make much sense to me, either, since basketball is played in teams, butI don't know. Until Will drags Kevin to wheelchair softball league I'm not going to be much help." -- Sars] Bear says that people call him "The Bear." Kevin says, with the perfect blend of politeness and sarcasm, "People call me Kevin." Will starts to explain how Kevin got into a wheelchair, but The Bear interrupts and says, "Only thing I gotta know about you right off, you want to play down low or up top?" Kevin's puzzled, and wonders if it makes a difference: "We're all the same height." The Bear explains: "Oh, it's not about height, kid. Not anymore." One of the other players bugs The Bear to get back to the game. Will says, "I gotta back to work, slugger. Mom'll pick you up. Have a good time out there! Show them how the Girardi men do it." Will leaves, and the player calls The Bear again. Kevin stays put, saying, "Go ahead, man, finish the run." Kevin watches for a moment, but his attention is quickly taken away by the able-bodied players running around on the other half of the court. Kevin suddenly gets up out of his chair, runs over to the game, and starts playing, sinking a basket in slow motion. The Bear calls to him, pulling him out of his daydream. Kevin suddenly decides he's not ready to play on that half of the court and wheels out quickly without a word.

Joan and her mother arrive at a boatyard. Joan's wearing one of her unflattering toques. I think she and Adam will be able to bond over their love of toques, among other things. Helen tells the boatyard worker -- who's going to be referred to as a stevedore even though it's not the right word, just because I like that word and never get to use it and it's less bulky than "boatyard worker" -- that Joan needs to build a boat for a school assignment. For a woman who works at the same high school, she is really very guileless. Joan hands the stevedore the cash, saying it's all she has to spend on it. Helen, of course, wants to know where she got that money. Joan explains about finding "Mr. Navy's" wallet. Helen says he was a recruiter. Joan says he gave her a reward. The stevedore examines the bills and tells her, "Sweetheart, uh, maybe we should forget the boat, build you a cute little huckleberry raft instead?" Joan insists she has to build a boat: "Not a stupid raft: a boat." He's sufficiently cowed by her insistence to go look for something for her. Helen comes over to express her incredulity about Joan choosing to spend this money on a project for extra school credit. Joan shrugs: "It's the new me." Helen seems skeptical. Joan, irritably: "What?" Helen: "Lately you have found these...let's call them 'enthusiasms': chess, chemistry, boatbuilding..." Joan says she's an adolescent searching for her purpose in life. Helen can't help but think of her second cousin, Florine. Joan: "The one who talks to flowers?" Helen smiles and nods. Joan: "Oy. Mom, I'm not crazy." Helen seems to be open to the idea.

Kevin's painting his little soldier figurines or models or whatever in his room when his mother comes in to confront him about the burnt scrapbook. She asks mildly, "Can you explain this?" Kevin: "Uh, yeah, I ran out of lighter fluid. If I'd had more, there wouldn't be anything left of it at all." Helen says, "This is very hurtful." Kevin: "Tell me about it! It's full of pictures of somebody who doesn't exist anymore. The son Dad really wanted." Helen's exasperated. She plops down on his bed and says, "Honey...you know if he could, your father would change places with you." Kevin: "Well, at least that's something that hasn't changed." Kevin says he was living Will's dream: "Big high school jock, college scholarship, headed for the pros. Everything Dad always wanted for himself. Then I went for a ride in a car and screwed it up for both of us." Helen: "You're blaming him for having memories. Good memories of the feelings you used to share. That's what he misses." She stands up, picks up the scrapbook, and adds, "That's what you threw in the fire."

Now Will's questioning Archie, claiming that he understands what happened, and that Archie probably didn't want to reach for his gun: "A man doesn't always reach for a gun. Sometimes, the Devil puts a gun in his hand." Archie whispers, "Amen." Will: "Devil pulls the trigger." Archie: "Yes." He closes his eyes and sighs. Whatever, freak. Will: "But what I don't understand is: did the Devil pose the body in a crucifixion?" Archie says no. Will: "You did that?" Archie doesn't answer, figuring out where he's been led. Will asks, "Sir, isn't that blasphemy?" Will barks, "No!" He bangs the table. "I placed his mortal remains in the form of our Lord, so it would speed his way to heaven." Sure. It's the Crucifixion Express. He spreads his arms, quivers, and goes into rapturous sermon mode, quoting the Bible about making man in God's likeness. He looks at the forensic photo and asks, "How could this be blasphemy?" Will shows him the photo of Sergeant Milner and asks, "And this one?" Archie says, "I wouldn't cross his legs that way. I didn't do that one." Crowley and Daghlian exchange glances. Will asks Archie to print the words "You're " on a piece of paper. He complies. Frink thinks he's using the wrong hand to do it. I guess that would be smart. Right away, I say to Frink, "He's going to spell it Y-O-U-R." Indeed, he does. And his handwriting is pretty different from the spraypainting. Will compares the two. He says nothing, and leaves, followed by his Daghlian.

Out in the hall, Will tell Daghlian, "He killed Wilson but not Milner." Daghlian: "Guy leaves out an apostrophe, and you're gonna give him a free pass?" Hey, don't knock the importance of an apostrophe. It's why we can no longer go to the grocery store without being exhorted to buy "fresh peache's" and "ripe pear's." Will tells him to get Archie's confession and keep looking for Milner's murderer.

Adam's in the bookstore with Joan. She still works there! Yay! I nearly bounced off the sofa when I saw that. I'd call that a shout-out except that I know this must have been taped before I recapped the first episode. Adam brings a book over, asking if her boat looks like the one on the cover. She says it doesn't look like any of these, gesturing to a pile on the desk. Adam: "But it is a boat, right? It's not, like, a chifforobe?" Wow. I haven't heard that word in about a million years. Joan asks what a chifforobe is. Adam: "I dunno, but it's not a boat, yo." (It's a wardrobe/chest of drawers combination.) ["Did anyone else wonder if we were supposed to think of To Kill A Mockingbird here? Just me, then? All righty." -- Sars] She says she appreciates his help, but she has to close up. He glances at her, and asks, "Why is this so important to you? I mean, there's a million other things you could do." And he doesn't ask it in that way that implies it's stupid and he's just been humouring her, but in a way that implies that he actually cares and he really wants to know. Yes, I might be reading a bit too much into it, but I'm hereby declaring myself the captain of the good 'ship Adam/Joan/Jane. Joan says, "It's complicated." Adam, slightly hurt: "Well, that's stupid, Jane. You know, I understand a lot of things other people don't get." Joan: "You do?" You can tell she's dying to tell someone who would believe her. Adam replies, "Unchallenged." He watches her while she wrestles with telling him. He is so falling in love with her. He might not know it himself yet, but he is. Trust me. She says that the reason she does some of the things she does is kind of a secret. He just gazes at her expectantly, and it seems like she's going to tell him, when suddenly we hear an older woman's voice calling out, "Hello? I could use some help here!"

Joan looks confused, asking if he heard someone come in. Well, someone should be in this wonderful bookstore, for heaven's sake. Does no one in Arcadia read? More to the point: Hey, I know that voice! The woman calls out that she's in the large print section. Joan wanders through the aisles until she finds the woman, apologizing for not realizing that there was a customer back there. It's Mrs. Landingham! Too cool. And once again, a shout-out fake-out. She tells Joan, "You need better lighting in here." Bwah! Okay, how can that not be a shout-out to me? I've been complaining bitterly about the lighting on The West Wing for I don't know how many seasons. Yeah, yeah, I know it was taped long ago. But she's God, man! She's arranged for a shout-out to me that violates the rules of space and time as we know them. My worlds are colliding in one of the best possible ways. Let me just mention that she's wearing a purple floral dress and a purple cardigan and carrying a purse covered with large pink plastic beads. Joan says she's not in the large print section; she's in sports. She leads her to the large print section. Mrs. LandingGod smiles, thanks her, and calls her a "very sweet child." Then she says, "You were about to tell Adam." Joan realizes who it is, glances to see if Adam's around, and asks quietly, "Did you give me a boat-making mojo and then take it away?" Mrs. LandingGod tells her, "You know what I'm going to say." Joan guesses: "What, that you never gave it to me in the first place so you never took it away?" Mrs. LandingGod smiles proudly and says, "Excellent learning curve! Now what did I tell you on the radio?" Joan says that she's not supposed to let anyone talk her out of pursuing her project. Mrs. LandingGod gives her a significant glance. Joan whispers, "You mean Price? Was what Adam said true? Is Price, like, evil?" Mrs. LandingGod asks if she's afraid of him. Joan says every kid in her school is afraid of him. Mrs. LandingGod explains, "The thing about fear is, it doesn't leave room for anything else, like beauty or purpose. Your large print section is pitiful!" Joan asks, "So...did you just pop up to stop me from telling Adam about you?" Mrs. LandingGod: "I don't pop. I abide. I am eternal. There's no popping." Hee! Joan: "So...I can tell him?" Mrs. LandingGod says it's totally up to Joan: "Free will. Just remember that it's a burden asking people to believe you." Joan says Adam will believe her. Mrs. LandingGod says, "Yes...but you don't know Adam that well yet. For example, you don't know how many burdens the boy is already carrying. And I'd like you to consider the possibility that it is you who should take on some of his burdens...not vice versa." Joan: "Adam has burdens?" Mrs. LandingGod starts to leave, saying, "Sometimes they look a lot like gifts." Joan wonders about her boat. Mrs. LandingGod: "You'll know when to let go."