Joan (wearing a Dr. Who-esque scarf), Grace, and Adam are walking through the halls at school. Grace is decrying the "fascist hierarchy" inherent in the assignment of homework. Adam: "Dude: she wants to pass." Grace: "Do you think it's funny to call me 'dude'?" As Joan notices something on the floor and bends to pick it up, she tells Grace that Adam calls everyone that. Grace: "Well, stop. It's totally pre-millennial." Joan's found a wallet, and it kind of looks like it has some sort of emblem on it, but it's too dark or I'm too blind to make it out. Adam: "Wait...what's the new 'dude'?" Grace advises him, "Trying saying 'yo' at the end of a sentence." Joan opens the wallet and finds a bunch of bills, much to her surprise. Adam glances at it: "We're stinkin' rich, yo." Grace looks at Joan, disgusted: "You're gonna turn it in, aren't you? A willing pawn of the power elites." Grace, if you only knew the authority she's answering to. Joan makes a comment about having the feeling of being watched, and walks off. Grace reminds Adam that Joan's right: "We are under surveillance 80 percent of the time." Adam seems like he's about to make a skeptical remark, then looks around in a sort of paranoid way. These three are fun together. I really hope they keep Grace and Adam around. Joan could use some real friends.
Joan walks down the hall after a guy in uniform and asks if it's his wallet. He says it is, and that it's nice to find someone so honest, and that a reward is in order. Joan assures him: "Oh no...I support the troops." He hands her a bunch of bills and Joan refuses, saying it's way too much. Military Guy states, "That's exactly the right amount for what I'm about to ask you to do." They exchange looks as Joan figures out who it is, and he confirms it with his expression. She folds up the money and says, "God joined the Army." Military God: "Navy. It's thematic." She looks puzzled as he tells her he wants her to build a boat. Joan gripes about the all the make-work projects: "All these annoying, bogus assignments, instead of doing something really big, like, you know, saving the world." Military God: "Last time I asked someone to build a boat, it turned out to be something really big, like, you know, saving the world." Joan bitches that she's got a really hard AP Chem test coming up, and she doesn't even have a boyfriend: "Why couldn't you ask me to get a boyfriend?" Psst, Joan! Adam. I'm just saying. God just kind of waves away her concerns and walks off up the stairs as Joan rants, "'Build a boat,' he says. Okay, um...how big? Exxon Valdez? Should I plan for a lot of rain? I don't know how to build a boat!" He disappears around a corner as Joan fumes: "Unbe-liev-able!" and stomps off.
A bunch of guys are playing basketball in a gym; one half of the court is taken up by able-bodied players; the other half is taken up by players in wheelchairs. Will and Kevin come in, and Will asks Kevin, "What do you think?" Kevin: "I used to call it basketball. Now I call it blackmail." Will says that Kevin wants him to buy him a new transmission, and he wants Kevin to gets some exercise: "This isn't blackmail. It's an accommodation between two reasonable men." Will calls out to some guy named "Bear," who calls a timeout to come over and talk to him. Will says quietly to Kevin, "Barry works in the property room. Great guy." Kevin replies, "Yeah, we're bound to hit it off, because, hey, we're both crippled." Will tells him not to "be this way," and asks him to give it a chance. Bear comes over and shakes their hands. Bear says of Kevin, "He's got ." Is that sports talk? I don't know what that means. That sounds like "They am happily" or "We went lamp" to me. ["That didn't make much sense to me, either, since basketball is played in teams, but…I don't know. Until Will drags Kevin to wheelchair softball league I'm not going to be much help." -- Sars] Bear says that people call him "The Bear." Kevin says, with the perfect blend of politeness and sarcasm, "People call me Kevin." Will starts to explain how Kevin got into a wheelchair, but The Bear interrupts and says, "Only thing I gotta know about you right off, you want to play down low or up top?" Kevin's puzzled, and wonders if it makes a difference: "We're all the same height." The Bear explains: "Oh, it's not about height, kid. Not anymore." One of the other players bugs The Bear to get back to the game. Will says, "I gotta back to work, slugger. Mom'll pick you up. Have a good time out there! Show them how the Girardi men do it." Will leaves, and the player calls The Bear again. Kevin stays put, saying, "Go ahead, man, finish the run." Kevin watches for a moment, but his attention is quickly taken away by the able-bodied players running around on the other half of the court. Kevin suddenly gets up out of his chair, runs over to the game, and starts playing, sinking a basket in slow motion. The Bear calls to him, pulling him out of his daydream. Kevin suddenly decides he's not ready to play on that half of the court and wheels out quickly without a word.
Joan and her mother arrive at a boatyard. Joan's wearing one of her unflattering toques. I think she and Adam will be able to bond over their love of toques, among other things. Helen tells the boatyard worker -- who's going to be referred to as a stevedore even though it's not the right word, just because I like that word and never get to use it and it's less bulky than "boatyard worker" -- that Joan needs to build a boat for a school assignment. For a woman who works at the same high school, she is really very guileless. Joan hands the stevedore the cash, saying it's all she has to spend on it. Helen, of course, wants to know where she got that money. Joan explains about finding "Mr. Navy's" wallet. Helen says he was a recruiter. Joan says he gave her a reward. The stevedore examines the bills and tells her, "Sweetheart, uh, maybe we should forget the boat, build you a cute little huckleberry raft instead?" Joan insists she has to build a boat: "Not a stupid raft: a boat." He's sufficiently cowed by her insistence to go look for something for her. Helen comes over to express her incredulity about Joan choosing to spend this money on a project for extra school credit. Joan shrugs: "It's the new me." Helen seems skeptical. Joan, irritably: "What?" Helen: "Lately you have found these...let's call them 'enthusiasms': chess, chemistry, boatbuilding..." Joan says she's an adolescent searching for her purpose in life. Helen can't help but think of her second cousin, Florine. Joan: "The one who talks to flowers?" Helen smiles and nods. Joan: "Oy. Mom, I'm not crazy." Helen seems to be open to the idea.
Crime scene. The crime scene shots are always much more bluish than the rest of the show. They've found a cop named Rudy Milner shot to death behind a bar in the middle of the afternoon. He'd been on the job eleven years. Will asks Daghlian: "He a drinking man?" Daghlian: "More than most; less than some." He says that no one saw or heard anything, despite it happening in broad daylight, and adds that Milner's the second cop in a week to get shot in the face and arranged in a crucifix pose. Seems like his face should be a lot more messed up if that's where he was shot. Will says he should speak to the Widow Milner. Well, he doesn't actually call her that. Daghlian says this homicide is just the same as the other one, so they either have a serial killer or a copycat: "It can't just be a coincidence." Will urges him not to make assumptions: "Clean, objective police work." A car squeals up behind them and the driver runs over, straight into Daghlian, who tells him to calm down. I presume this is Milner's partner. Daghlian assures him that this case is top priority and he's handling it personally. Hothead tells Will he wants in on it. Will says it's up to Daghlian. Hothead makes his case, saying they were partners for three years: "Dead in a back alley? Rolled like a drunk? That's no end for a cop." A photographer takes a picture of the body.
Joan's out in the garage struggling with some blueprints for a boat. She reads the instructions to herself and sighs.
Will has the Widow Milner in his office. She asks if it's the same person who killed Patrolman Wilson. Will says he doesn't want to work on that assumption or sway the investigation in a particular direction. He says it's best to keep an open mind. She says sadly, "I just bought Rudy a digital camera. A good one he really wanted. He never even got a chance to use it. Things were going so well." Yeah, she seems overcome with grief.
When they emerge from his office, all the cops buzzing around the office notice, and Daghlian walks over. Will assures her: "Your husband was one of us, Mrs. Milner. We'll catch whoever did this." She thanks him for his kindness, and generally expresses her thanks to the men standing around. Not a lotta women on this force. I think the forensic photographer was female. Once she leaves, Will takes a file from Daghlian. It contains the ballistics on Milner's case. They were 9 mm, and Daghlian says they couldn't tell much more than that; both bullets were nearly destroyed. Daghlian asks Will to authorize him to put together a task force. Will: "Task forces are for serial killers." Daghlian and his officers think the murders are connected. Will considers that and decides to address the whole room: "Gentlemen! Detective Daghlian here has informed me that the consensus of opinion is that the murders of Patrolman Wilson and Sergeant Milner are connected." Milner's partner thinks so. Will tells them he's not ready to appoint a task force, because it carries the bias that they're looking for one murderer, and that's a big assumption: "And big assumptions create big blind spots."
Another guy -- who doesn't have a name yet, so I'm just going to call him "Howard" -- says that there is a pattern. Daghlian refers to the arrangement of the bodies; Milner's partner chimes in with the weapons. Will says all forensics could come up with is the calibre of the bullet. Howard mutters something quietly to Milner's partner. Will wonders if he has something he'd like to share with the class: "I'm sorry, Sergeant Crowley, I didn't catch that." Crowley, whose first name is apparently Bob, says loudly, "I said, 'Exactly how many dead cops does it take to make a pattern?' With all due respect." Will asks if anyone doubts he wants to catch the guy who did this. No one speaks. Will continues, claiming in a voice that gets louder and louder: "I'll be the first one to go after a cop-hater. The first. We've lost two of our own. I share your anger. But Wilson was a traffic stop, and Milner was an ambush outside a cop bar. Maybe there's an ex-con with a grudge out there, or maybe the two of them owed a bad man money." He walks over to Crowley. "But no one in this room has brought me that." He pauses, staring at Crowley: "With...all due respect."
Joan's sawing away, safety glasses up on her head. Luke is looking at the plans and telling her she's measured everything wrong: "Don't you know the carpenter's motto: 'measure twice, cut once'?" Joan saws away, saying, "See how I'm ignoring you? Take a hint!" Helen comes in, wondering if Kevin called. They both say no. She says she was supposed to pick him up at the gym, but he wasn't there. She hears a car and tells Luke to go see if Will has Kevin with him. Joan tells her mother she's going to need more wood. Luke sneers to his mother, "Tch. Save your money. She's ruined, like, eight trees." Luke leaves and Helen looks around, asking, "So...this is gonna be a boat?" Joan happily confirms this. Helen looks doubtful. Joan: "Are you thinking about Cousin Florine again?" Helen admits, "A little bit." She walks away as Joan groans. Joan continues working on the boat as Mellowdrone's "Beautiful Day" plays. She's got some badly cut pieces nailed together to make the framework of the hull, and as goofy and unseaworthy as it is, I've still seen worse on Trading Spaces. Nonetheless, she is very pleased with herself. She is in the boatbuilding zone.
Helen is complaining to Will that no one knows where Kevin is. Will thinks The Bear probably took him for a burger. Just then Kevin comes in the front door, and Helen looks heavenward briefly and says, "Thank you." Will tells him, "You had your mom worried, big guy." Kevin apologizes for not calling. Helen asks how he got home. Kevin: "I rolled myself along in this snappy chair." Will: "Seven miles, in the dark?" Kevin: "Gee, officer, I stayed in the wheelchair lane." Heh. They are not impressed with his smart answers. Will remarks that it couldn't have left him with much time to play basketball. Hey, I see the lift on the stairs now. I don't know how the heck I missed it before. Kevin wheels away, pointing out that the deal was that he'd go: "You never actually said I had to play. You still owe me a transmission." His mother admonishes him: "Kevin!" Will: "Don't walk off when we're having a discussion!" Kevin: "Walking? Do you see anyone walking here?" He keeps going, leaving Helen and Will standing there looking sad.
Will clears the table after dinner as he remarks to his wife that it's unlike Joan to skip her barbecued chicken. Helen says she's totally focused on that boat: "I have never seen her so industrious and happy." Will thinks that's great. Helen gives him a look. Will: "It's not great." Helen reminds him, "Cousin Florine is industrious and happy." I dunno, "industrious and happy" sounds pretty sweet to me. Will says she's not her cousin Florine. Helen decides, "This family is off-balance." Will: "Off-balance or unbalanced?" Is there a meaningful difference? Helen recites a list of woes: Kevin's mad at Will, Joan's turning into Cousin Florine, they have no friends in Arcadia, Will arrested the fire chief, there's a cop killer out there...she concludes with, "And you can't tell me your job's getting any easier." Will says it's normal for the rank and file to take time to figure out whether they can trust him. Helen says he told her things would get better when they moved there, and wants to know when that's supposed to start. Will says they just haven't found their places yet. Helen: "I need to see something good...some sign that says the Girardis will be okay." Well, your family seems to be the one God's planning to put on Joan's ark, so that might have to tide you over.
Joan commands "Spaghetti Arms" (Luke) to help her fit a piece into the boat. Luke protests that it won't fit: "The proportions are all wrong." Joan replies, "No, I'm in the zone, Dogboy! I can do no wrong." She's making the boat out of scraps of wood nailed together to create pieces of approximately the right sizes and shapes. Luke helps her as he asks, "Dogboy?" They insert the piece, and much to Luke's surprise and Joan's glee, it fits. Luke: "But, but...that shouldn't have happened." Joan inserts an old washboard into a big gap and it fits perfectly. She claps her hands, jumps up and down, and squeals. Where is Slacker Joan, and what have you done with her? Why hast thou forsaken us? Yeah, yeah, spiritual transformation. She pretends to burn her finger on the boat as Luke wanders away, annoyed.
Kevin's lying on his bed reading when his father knocks: "Hey, slugger." Kevin: "I'm sorry if I made you worry, okay?" Will acknowledges that it must be difficult, at his age, to be coping with parents who are worried about him making it home by dinner. Kevin: "Yeah, it used to be midnight before you started wondering where I was." Will fidgets with some of Kevin's trophies as he says, "Sport, I'll let you in on something: your mother and I always wondered where you were. Just had more sense than to let you know." He reminisces about Kevin hitting.385 in a particular season as he looks at a baseball trophy. Kevin suddenly interjects, "I'm sick of those names." Will wonders what names he's talking about. Kevin: "'Slugger,' 'Big Guy,' 'Sport'...they don't apply anymore." Will apologizes for jumping the gun basketball-wise: "I thought it would keep your muscles toned." Kevin: "For what? The Gimp Olympics?" Will insists that Kevin has always been an athlete, and that doesn't have to change just because he's in a wheelchair now: "The Bear skis Aspen every Christmas!" Kevin: "Well...big ups to The Bear!" He makes a little thumbs-up gesture. Will wonders if Kevin's trying to make him mad. Joan happens to wander through the hallway at the moment that Kevin replies, saying, "You think that because we're both in wheelchairs, we're instant homies!" Joan keeps going when she hears that they're fighting. Will claims he doesn't even see The Bear as handicapped. Kevin: "Then why is it the first thing you wanted to tell him about me was how I got paralyzed?" Will turns to leave, and stops at the door to say, "I'm trying, son. I'm trying with everything I've got. Can you say the same thing?" He leaves, and Joan shuts the door to her bedroom, where she's been lurking, before her dad sees her.
She starts to flop down on her bed as the radio announcer says, "Okay, our caller is Joan from Arcadia." She rolls right back upright again, looking stunned. Radio Announcer: "Uh...Joan?" Joan: "Who, me?" There's the squeal of feedback as the Radio Announcer tells her to turn down the sound. She runs over and does that, kneeling to the table the radio's on. Radio God asks what her question is. Joan: "You'll answer questions?" Radio God: "If I can." What are the call letters of this station, exactly? YHVH-1? Because I have a few questions myself. Joan says that she's just today discovered that she has this incredible talent that she never knew she had, but it's the wrong talent. Radio God wonders what would be the right talent. Joan: "Um...say...making things better between people I love?" Radio God: "What's your question?" Joan: "Can I trade?" Radio God explains, "Sometimes one talent is all talents. Everything that rises...must converge." Radio God's voice sounds so familiar to me -- almost like V-P Price's, in fact. But it's some guy named Chris Covics. He encourages her: "You're doing great work, Joan! Important work. Be thankful for what you can do. Don't just trade it away. And don't let anyone talk you out of it, no matter how reasonable they sound." Joan, her chin on the table surface, bummed: "So...no tradesies?" Radio God thanks her for calling, and says, "Moving onto Corrina, who has love problems..." Joan scrunches her face slightly.
Will exits the police station to find that someone's spraypainted the words "You're " on his car. He pulls out his cell phone, dials, and says, "Daghlian, I want you and all your guys down here in the parking lot."
While eating a sandwich, Luke is haranguing Joan about her boat project, saying he's not entirely sure she grasps what's going on. She says she's building a boat, and asks what he's doing. He says it's lunchtime, and that Price knows she's skipping: "He wants to see you." Joan sneers, as she tears off another length of duct tape to add to that holding the boat together: "What are you, his lapdog? You do whatever he says?" Luke replies, "Look, I want to get into MIT. Price is in charge of our permanent records. Do the math." He claims she's freaking everyone out: "I hope this pile of junk is worth it." Joan: "I'm pretty sure it is."
Kevin wheels himself over to some shelves in the living room or den, and pulls out an old scrapbook ("The Slugger" is imprinted on the cover), which is full of pictures and clippings from his gobsmacking athletic career, which, in addition to baseball, seems to include such feats as breaking track records and throwing winning touchdowns. He must have been quite the superstar -- I mean, I know zilch about sports, but aren't there very few people who excel at several? Isn't it logistically difficult to play on several competitive fronts at once? He musta been something else. No wonder his whole self-image hangs on that. He lingers on a photograph of him and his dad from happier days, holding one of his trophies.
Having gotten the squad down into the parking lot, Will announces, "This isn't a joke on me. This is a stain on the memories of two slain cops." Daghlian seems to resent the implication that one of his cops did it. Will: "Detective, perhaps you didn't pick up the subtle indicators of how angry I am! But do you honestly expect me to believe this is the work of some arch-criminal? That the Green Goblin figured out which car was mine and snuck in here, leaving threatening graffiti?" He continues ranting, insisting that one of them did it and finishing with, "Quit screwing around. Be cops!" He stalks off. Milner's partner and Crowley exchange looks.
Daghlian follows Will inside, saying that he knows that Will's right about the task force, but there's another issue. Will gets that a task force would placate the troops, but he isn't willing to put his own popularity ahead of an investigation. Daghlian says that's one way of looking at it. Will: "Two grieving women, mourning the loss of their husbands, looking at me to do the right thing. Tell me another way to view the situation!" Daghlian: "There's a thousand live guys looking to you! A thousand live guys with wives, all watching to see if you give a damn! It's a larger view, Chief. That's all I'm saying." Daghlian takes off and leaves Will to think about that. Okay, I have just a few questions. First of all: a thousand officers on this force, and they're all guys -- with wives? Does this show take place at the time of the real Jeanne d'Arc? I know Daghlian was generalizing, but given that we've only seen women involved with the force as secretaries, psychics, and photographers, it doesn't seem like he was completely off-base. Also, if Arcadia is big enough to have a municipal bus system, is this a realistic number of officers? It seems like Arcadia should be a good-sized city -- certainly with about a murder and/or abduction a week, it should be. It's one crime-ridden burg. But other times you get that small-town sensation. I mean, if the town is large, Will wouldn't be involved in every little case that comes along, even homicides. Cop murders, yes. And would his office be in the squad room like that? I don't know. I've either watched too many cop shows or not enough.
Kevin tosses a match into the fireplace and watches the scrapbook burn. Dude, that's harsh. Er, that's harsh, yo.
Will's at his desk when Daghlian comes in to tell him they've got someone in custody who says he knows something about the cop killer. His name is Lenny Sams and he's in for fencing. Uh, the kind to do with theft, not the Three Musketeers kind.
Lenny's chained to a chair, and refuses to talk until he gets immunity from the D.A. Will and Daghlian lean on the guy, and he cracks like a plumber's ass. He gives up some guy named Archie who hangs out at some bar called the Crosstown. Apparently he overheard him in the can, praying to God for forgiveness for killing a cop.
Joan's in Price's office, saying she can explain. He's studying a file, and says he hasn't asked her to explain anything yet. She admits to missing a few classes. He agrees that it's been quite a few classes. Joan: "Well, it wasn't like I was smoking cigarettes at the mall, and playing the arcade." Price looks at her like it's the first time he's ever heard of such a thing. She laughs weakly, adding, "Not that I know anybody that does that stuff." Price is sure she's doing something much more important. Suddenly serious, Joan says she is. Price: "More important than algebra, French, history, and, oh yes, AP Chem that you begged to get into?" Ignoring everything Adam told her about Price, she tells him she's building a boat. Naturally he wants to know why. Joan says it's hard to explain. Price congratulates her for coming up with an original excuse. In his smarmy way, he asks what kind of boat. Joan: "I'm not exactly sure, exactly." Price: "Oh, but you are certain it is a boat?" Joan's positive. Man, I bet Noah didn't have any jackass vice-principal busting his chops. Price points out that her skill tests don't reveal any aptitude whatsoever for building or design. Joan tries to convince him that she's brilliant at it: "I started out making a bunch of mistakes, but it turned out they weren't mistakes! I mean, they were mistakes if you follow the plans, but I threw the plans away and all the mistakes fit together into something better, and I don't even know what a joggle is!" She's really wound up. Price asks, "What is a joggle?" Dude, she just told you she doesn't know. Are you deaf? Apparently it's a "notch or tooth in a joining surface." Joan knows her file says they she doesn't finish what she starts, and she doesn't focus well, and she's flighty: "But I'm telling you, I have put hours into this boat, and I never get bored! I barely sleep! I think I've found my calling." Price says: "Here's my guarantee to you: you may be building something that looks like a boat, but it won't float. How do I know this? Because you are not a boat builder. You are a high school student -- and a truant one, at that. Do I make myself clear?" Joan looks crushed. She says nothing. Price asks again, in his sharp, snotty way: "Do I make myself clear?" She nods. Price: "Good." Whoops, I almost typed "Prick" there.
The cops are questioning Archie. He doesn't look like the cop-killer type -- whatever that is. He does stare intensely ahead. Seems like a bit of a loon. Daghlian says he's spent a lot of time in jail. He says that was "before." Crowley: "Before you found Jesus?" Archie agrees, and quotes, "'For I shall redeem you, with mighty acts of judgment.'" That's from Exodus 6:6, I believe. Daghlian holds up his hand in a "spare me the sermon, Reverend Freakshow" gesture. Will's watching the interrogation through the window. Daghlian and Crowley take turns playing Exposition Fairy (maybe that should be Exposition Fuzz), saying that Crowley got out of jail ten months ago after being incarcerated for nine years, and got stopped by a cop for speeding. Daghlian: "Maybe you got something in the car you shouldn't have?" Crowley: "Say, a 9 mm?" Daghlian: "So it's either take out the cop, or it's back to Jessup." Daghlian tries to appeal to his fear of eternal punishment. Archie says it's between him and the Lord. And, apparently, the guy in the stall in the john.
Kevin's painting his little soldier figurines or models or whatever in his room when his mother comes in to confront him about the burnt scrapbook. She asks mildly, "Can you explain this?" Kevin: "Uh, yeah, I ran out of lighter fluid. If I'd had more, there wouldn't be anything left of it at all." Helen says, "This is very hurtful." Kevin: "Tell me about it! It's full of pictures of somebody who doesn't exist anymore. The son Dad really wanted." Helen's exasperated. She plops down on his bed and says, "Honey...you know if he could, your father would change places with you." Kevin: "Well, at least that's something that hasn't changed." Kevin says he was living Will's dream: "Big high school jock, college scholarship, headed for the pros. Everything Dad always wanted for himself. Then I went for a ride in a car and screwed it up for both of us." Helen: "You're blaming him for having memories. Good memories of the feelings you used to share. That's what he misses." She stands up, picks up the scrapbook, and adds, "That's what you threw in the fire."
Now Will's questioning Archie, claiming that he understands what happened, and that Archie probably didn't want to reach for his gun: "A man doesn't always reach for a gun. Sometimes, the Devil puts a gun in his hand." Archie whispers, "Amen." Will: "Devil pulls the trigger." Archie: "Yes." He closes his eyes and sighs. Whatever, freak. Will: "But what I don't understand is: did the Devil pose the body in a crucifixion?" Archie says no. Will: "You did that?" Archie doesn't answer, figuring out where he's been led. Will asks, "Sir, isn't that blasphemy?" Will barks, "No!" He bangs the table. "I placed his mortal remains in the form of our Lord, so it would speed his way to heaven." Sure. It's the Crucifixion Express. He spreads his arms, quivers, and goes into rapturous sermon mode, quoting the Bible about making man in God's likeness. He looks at the forensic photo and asks, "How could this be blasphemy?" Will shows him the photo of Sergeant Milner and asks, "And this one?" Archie says, "I wouldn't cross his legs that way. I didn't do that one." Crowley and Daghlian exchange glances. Will asks Archie to print the words "You're " on a piece of paper. He complies. Frink thinks he's using the wrong hand to do it. I guess that would be smart. Right away, I say to Frink, "He's going to spell it Y-O-U-R." Indeed, he does. And his handwriting is pretty different from the spraypainting. Will compares the two. He says nothing, and leaves, followed by his Daghlian.
Out in the hall, Will tell Daghlian, "He killed Wilson but not Milner." Daghlian: "Guy leaves out an apostrophe, and you're gonna give him a free pass?" Hey, don't knock the importance of an apostrophe. It's why we can no longer go to the grocery store without being exhorted to buy "fresh peache's" and "ripe pear's." Will tells him to get Archie's confession and keep looking for Milner's murderer.
Joan's working on the boat -- which now seems to feature bits of those corrugated, aqua-coloured pool fencing as siding. It doesn't seem to be going very well, though, and she's pacing around holding her head in her hands. You know, it makes me inordinately happy that Amber Tamblyn has a bit of booty on her. I hope she doesn't get thinner and thinner as she gets more and more famous, like almost every other young female star, so many of whom start out looking incredibly attractive and become more and more pinched-looking and cadaverous with each passing year. I have no problem with anyone who's naturally very tiny or thin; it's the dramatic transformations under the pressure of public scrutiny that are scary. Portia de Rossi, Courteney Cox Arquette, Paula Devicq and Christina Ricci -- the list goes on -- I'm looking at you. I think Amber's gorgeous the way she is. Someone calls out, "Jane?" She sighs: "Go away, Adam!" He comes in anyway, asking how she knew it was him. She tells him he's the only one who calls her "Jane." It might have occurred to him to wonder about that, except that he's caught sight of the boat and says, "Aw...man! That's awesome!" I knew he'd be impressed. Joan says, "It's gone!" Adam wonders what's gone. She says she did all this with no plans: "I just cut pieces of wood, and they fit...together!" Adam: "You lost your mojo." She says softly, "Yeah, maybe Mr. Price is right." Hee.
Adam is concerned: "Wait, Jane, you talked to Price?" She confirms this. Adam: "Mr. Price at school?" Joan (almost typed "Jane" there): "Try and keep up, Adam." Adam asks if she told him about her boat. She admits she did. Adam says that the first day of high school, he had to talk to Price, and Price asked Adam to tell him about himself: "And I don't know any better, so I try to impress him with my best talent." Joan turns around, interested: "Which is?" Adam says he can play any instrument. Damn, that'd be a good talent to have. A lot more impressive than, say, a knack for painting your living room the wrong colour again and again and again. Purely hypothetical example. Joan's a bit skeptical: "You can?" Adam says he can't, not anymore. Price sat him down at a piano and said, "Okay, Mozart, play." And he played, and really put himself into it: "I'm holding down that loud pedal, and I'm hitting the low notes with my elbow -- Bong! Bong! Bong!" Joan permits herself a wee smile. Adam says, "Grand finale, I lift the piano lid thing, and I strum the strings with my shoe." Joan smiles and almost laughs. When Adam was finished, Price said, "You've got to be kidding me." He concludes, "Since then, I can't play a thing. I can't even whistle." Joan replies, "I'm no expert, but if you were playing with your elbow..." Adam shrugs and wanders around the boat, saying, "Yeah, Price...somewhere he's got this, like, coffin full of miraculous things kids used to be able to do before he stole it from them." Frink: "Then he must be a guidance counsellor at heart." Adam hesitates and adds, "Like your beautiful boat." He glances at Joan, who just looks troubled. He barely waves and leaves. I love Adam.
Helen is in the kitchen, carefully trying to salvage pictures and clippings from the burned scrapbook. When she hears Will come in the door, she quickly throws some tea towels over the whole mess. Will comes into the kitchen, having gotten no response to his greetings, complaining that they need a dog who loves his master. Helen asks about the capture of the cop killer, which she heard about on the news. Will just says they made some progress and asks, "What's that burnt smell?" She tells him not to change the subject. He says all his senior officers think they have the guy who did both murders, and he hopes they're right, but Will thinks they're wrong. Helen: "Then they're wrong." Will: "I'm glad you're so certain." Helen: "They hired you because the police department here -- what's the technical term for it?" Will: "Sucks?" She laughs and says, "That's it. And you don't suck and that's bound to make them hate you a little bit." Will admits he seriously considered giving them what they wanted, just so they'd like him: "If there hadn't been a lucky breakthrough, I might've." Helen says he never would have done that, that he would have agonized and worried but done the right thing in the end. Will thinks she's awfully certain about that. Helen: "I am more sure about you doing the right thing than I am about anything else in my life." Will: "You are a very good wife." She smiles and he takes her face in his hands to kiss her, but suddenly stops. When she doesn't get kissed, she laughs and asks, "What? Hey, I'm not a good wife?" He asks her what she would do if he got killed on the job, what her first question would be? Helen thinks a bit, and replies, "I would want to know if it was awful for you...if you were frightened when it happened...if you felt any pain." Will: "I love you, too. And if, say, I suddenly bought you something really expensive that you always wanted..." Helen: "I'd ask, 'Who's the girl?'" Will takes off, saying he has to go out again. Helen asks why. Will: "Because Milner's wife asked me the wrong question and bought him a new camera." Helen tells him that when he gets back, there's another little problem to deal with, and she shows him the burnt scrapbook. Will hangs up his coat and asks how that happened. Helen: "You know how it happened." She advises him to keep it in perspective: "First go catch the murderer; then argue with your son." Will says mildly that he has a different perspective, and walks off with the album.
Kevin's in his room, assembling a model. Will comes in and calmly asks, "Why would you do this?" Kevin glances around to see what he's talking about and suggests, "Maybe we should talk about it when you're not so angry." Will tells Kevin: "Look at me. Do you see anger here? This was mine, not yours." Whoa. I thought it was Kevin's. That puts a slightly different spin on it. Kevin gets an angry look on his face and wheels his chair over to the bed, snatching the album: "Yours? Who is this? Who's this?" He points to pictures of himself. "I mean, is that you? Is that you accepting that medal? Is that you holding that trophy? Who's this crossing the finish line? Is it you?" Will just looks sad. Kevin: "No, it's me, Dad!" Will says they're pictures of his son: "That's the part of you that belongs to me, and no one else. This is my eldest son." Kevin says he's not that kid anymore: "I'm not even who that kid would have grown up to become." Will stands up: "What are you talking about? You're exactly what that boy has become!" Kevin backs up and shouts, "No!" He hits the arms of his chair hard. "I'm this! I'm not who I wanted or expected, and I'm definitely not who you wanted!" Will says, "I'm at a loss. I'm completely at a loss of how to talk to you. That's why I took you to play basketball. I want to see you charged up over something again that isn't models. Models are for children! You can't just hide up in your room and play with toys! You have to grow up!" Burn, yo. Will wants him to take an interest in something they could talk about. Kevin indicates the models, saying they're what he's interested in right now: "So for a while, I guess we're not going to have anything to talk about." Will just walks out, dejected. When he senses his dad is gone, Kevin almost seems like he's going to cry, but holds it together.
Adam's in the bookstore with Joan. She still works there! Yay! I nearly bounced off the sofa when I saw that. I'd call that a shout-out except that I know this must have been taped before I recapped the first episode. Adam brings a book over, asking if her boat looks like the one on the cover. She says it doesn't look like any of these, gesturing to a pile on the desk. Adam: "But it is a boat, right? It's not, like, a chifforobe?" Wow. I haven't heard that word in about a million years. Joan asks what a chifforobe is. Adam: "I dunno, but it's not a boat, yo." (It's a wardrobe/chest of drawers combination.) ["Did anyone else wonder if we were supposed to think of To Kill A Mockingbird here? Just me, then? All righty." -- Sars] She says she appreciates his help, but she has to close up. He glances at her, and asks, "Why is this so important to you? I mean, there's a million other things you could do." And he doesn't ask it in that way that implies it's stupid and he's just been humouring her, but in a way that implies that he actually cares and he really wants to know. Yes, I might be reading a bit too much into it, but I'm hereby declaring myself the captain of the good 'ship Adam/Joan/Jane. Joan says, "It's complicated." Adam, slightly hurt: "Well, that's stupid, Jane. You know, I understand a lot of things other people don't get." Joan: "You do?" You can tell she's dying to tell someone who would believe her. Adam replies, "Unchallenged." He watches her while she wrestles with telling him. He is so falling in love with her. He might not know it himself yet, but he is. Trust me. She says that the reason she does some of the things she does is kind of a secret. He just gazes at her expectantly, and it seems like she's going to tell him, when suddenly we hear an older woman's voice calling out, "Hello? I could use some help here!"
Joan looks confused, asking if he heard someone come in. Well, someone should be in this wonderful bookstore, for heaven's sake. Does no one in Arcadia read? More to the point: Hey, I know that voice! The woman calls out that she's in the large print section. Joan wanders through the aisles until she finds the woman, apologizing for not realizing that there was a customer back there. It's Mrs. Landingham! Too cool. And once again, a shout-out fake-out. She tells Joan, "You need better lighting in here." Bwah! Okay, how can that not be a shout-out to me? I've been complaining bitterly about the lighting on The West Wing for I don't know how many seasons. Yeah, yeah, I know it was taped long ago. But she's God, man! She's arranged for a shout-out to me that violates the rules of space and time as we know them. My worlds are colliding in one of the best possible ways. Let me just mention that she's wearing a purple floral dress and a purple cardigan and carrying a purse covered with large pink plastic beads. Joan says she's not in the large print section; she's in sports. She leads her to the large print section. Mrs. LandingGod smiles, thanks her, and calls her a "very sweet child." Then she says, "You were about to tell Adam." Joan realizes who it is, glances to see if Adam's around, and asks quietly, "Did you give me a boat-making mojo and then take it away?" Mrs. LandingGod tells her, "You know what I'm going to say." Joan guesses: "What, that you never gave it to me in the first place so you never took it away?" Mrs. LandingGod smiles proudly and says, "Excellent learning curve! Now what did I tell you on the radio?" Joan says that she's not supposed to let anyone talk her out of pursuing her project. Mrs. LandingGod gives her a significant glance. Joan whispers, "You mean Price? Was what Adam said true? Is Price, like, evil?" Mrs. LandingGod asks if she's afraid of him. Joan says every kid in her school is afraid of him. Mrs. LandingGod explains, "The thing about fear is, it doesn't leave room for anything else, like beauty or purpose. Your large print section is pitiful!" Joan asks, "So...did you just pop up to stop me from telling Adam about you?" Mrs. LandingGod: "I don't pop. I abide. I am eternal. There's no popping." Hee! Joan: "So...I can tell him?" Mrs. LandingGod says it's totally up to Joan: "Free will. Just remember that it's a burden asking people to believe you." Joan says Adam will believe her. Mrs. LandingGod says, "Yes...but you don't know Adam that well yet. For example, you don't know how many burdens the boy is already carrying. And I'd like you to consider the possibility that it is you who should take on some of his burdens...not vice versa." Joan: "Adam has burdens?" Mrs. LandingGod starts to leave, saying, "Sometimes they look a lot like gifts." Joan wonders about her boat. Mrs. LandingGod: "You'll know when to let go."
As Mrs. LandingGod walks out, she pats Adam lightly on the shoulder. Adam reminds Joan that she was about to tell him some kind of secret, as Nick Drake's "Things Behind the Sun" plays. Joan just gently tells him she has to lock up and that she'll see him tomorrow. He doesn't cover his disappointment very well. He barely chokes out a "yeah" and leaves as Joan watches.
Okay, crime stuff again. I'm not finding this whole cop-killer storyline very interesting or compelling, so let's just cut to the chase. Will and Daghlian question Mrs. Milner and get her to confess to problems in their marriage, affairs on both sides, and the fact that she was involved with his partner.
Daghlian and Crowley come out to the desk of Eddie, Milner's partner, and demand his gun. He gives them a bit of lip, but Daghlian rips a strip off him and Crowley gets his gun out of the drawer. Eddie looks over at Will, who's just standing at his office door, staring. He backs into his office and closes the door.
Kevin wheels out into the garage to smoke a cigarette, but gets distracted by the sight of Joan's boat. He grabs the plans and wheels over to the boat, putting the cigarette behind his ear. He looks at the boat, and the plans, and laughs to himself.
Will comes home to an empty house.
Out in the garage, Kevin's ripping the metal edging off the boat. Hey, um...that's not yours. Neither was the scrapbook. Dude has boundary issues, yo. Will wanders out into the garage and sees Kevin there. There's just awkward silence. Kevin resumes his destruction of the vessel, and Will finally asks what he's doing. Kevin, annoyed: "What made Joan think this could float?" Will looks at the plans, and then looks the boat over. He agrees, "Yeah, that's just..." Kevin: "Not right." They start talking about what has to be redone and how it should be done, studying the plans and debating. The camera drifts over to the window, where Helen walks into view, peering through the window. Joan's there too, and the music is "World Inside the World" by Rhett Miller. Joan smiles a little and says, "Cool." And it's maybe a bit too sweet, a bit too neat, but it's also kinda cool.