Episode Report Card Deborah: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Joan of Ark
By Deborah | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.16.2003
Out in the hall, Will tell Daghlian, "He killed Wilson but not Milner." Daghlian: "Guy leaves out an apostrophe, and you're gonna give him a free pass?" Hey, don't knock the importance of an apostrophe. It's why we can no longer go to the grocery store without being exhorted to buy "fresh peache's" and "ripe pear's." Will tells him to get Archie's confession and keep looking for Milner's murderer.
Joan's working on the boat -- which now seems to feature bits of those corrugated, aqua-coloured pool fencing as siding. It doesn't seem to be going very well, though, and she's pacing around holding her head in her hands. You know, it makes me inordinately happy that Amber Tamblyn has a bit of booty on her. I hope she doesn't get thinner and thinner as she gets more and more famous, like almost every other young female star, so many of whom start out looking incredibly attractive and become more and more pinched-looking and cadaverous with each passing year. I have no problem with anyone who's naturally very tiny or thin; it's the dramatic transformations under the pressure of public scrutiny that are scary. Portia de Rossi, Courteney Cox Arquette, Paula Devicq and Christina Ricci -- the list goes on -- I'm looking at you. I think Amber's gorgeous the way she is. Someone calls out, "Jane?" She sighs: "Go away, Adam!" He comes in anyway, asking how she knew it was him. She tells him he's the only one who calls her "Jane." It might have occurred to him to wonder about that, except that he's caught sight of the boat and says, "Aw...man! That's awesome!" I knew he'd be impressed. Joan says, "It's gone!" Adam wonders what's gone. She says she did all this with no plans: "I just cut pieces of wood, and they fit...together!" Adam: "You lost your mojo." She says softly, "Yeah, maybe Mr. Price is right." Hee.
Adam is concerned: "Wait, Jane, you talked to Price?" She confirms this. Adam: "Mr. Price at school?" Joan (almost typed "Jane" there): "Try and keep up, Adam." Adam asks if she told him about her boat. She admits she did. Adam says that the first day of high school, he had to talk to Price, and Price asked Adam to tell him about himself: "And I don't know any better, so I try to impress him with my best talent." Joan turns around, interested: "Which is?" Adam says he can play any instrument. Damn, that'd be a good talent to have. A lot more impressive than, say, a knack for painting your living room the wrong colour again and again and again. Purely hypothetical example. Joan's a bit skeptical: "You can?" Adam says he can't, not anymore. Price sat him down at a piano and said, "Okay, Mozart, play." And he played, and really put himself into it: "I'm holding down that loud pedal, and I'm hitting the low notes with my elbow -- Bong! Bong! Bong!" Joan permits herself a wee smile. Adam says, "Grand finale, I lift the piano lid thing, and I strum the strings with my shoe." Joan smiles and almost laughs. When Adam was finished, Price said, "You've got to be kidding me." He concludes, "Since then, I can't play a thing. I can't even whistle." Joan replies, "I'm no expert, but if you were playing with your elbow..." Adam shrugs and wanders around the boat, saying, "Yeah, Price...somewhere he's got this, like, coffin full of miraculous things kids used to be able to do before he stole it from them." Frink: "Then he must be a guidance counsellor at heart." Adam hesitates and adds, "Like your beautiful boat." He glances at Joan, who just looks troubled. He barely waves and leaves. I love Adam.
Helen is in the kitchen, carefully trying to salvage pictures and clippings from the burned scrapbook. When she hears Will come in the door, she quickly throws some tea towels over the whole mess. Will comes into the kitchen, having gotten no response to his greetings, complaining that they need a dog who loves his master. Helen asks about the capture of the cop killer, which she heard about on the news. Will just says they made some progress and asks, "What's that burnt smell?" She tells him not to change the subject. He says all his senior officers think they have the guy who did both murders, and he hopes they're right, but Will thinks they're wrong. Helen: "Then they're wrong." Will: "I'm glad you're so certain." Helen: "They hired you because the police department here -- what's the technical term for it?" Will: "Sucks?" She laughs and says, "That's it. And you don't suck and that's bound to make them hate you a little bit." Will admits he seriously considered giving them what they wanted, just so they'd like him: "If there hadn't been a lucky breakthrough, I might've." Helen says he never would have done that, that he would have agonized and worried but done the right thing in the end. Will thinks she's awfully certain about that. Helen: "I am more sure about you doing the right thing than I am about anything else in my life." Will: "You are a very good wife." She smiles and he takes her face in his hands to kiss her, but suddenly stops. When she doesn't get kissed, she laughs and asks, "What? Hey, I'm not a good wife?" He asks her what she would do if he got killed on the job, what her first question would be? Helen thinks a bit, and replies, "I would want to know if it was awful for you...if you were frightened when it happened...if you felt any pain." Will: "I love you, too. And if, say, I suddenly bought you something really expensive that you always wanted..." Helen: "I'd ask, 'Who's the girl?'" Will takes off, saying he has to go out again. Helen asks why. Will: "Because Milner's wife asked me the wrong question and bought him a new camera." Helen tells him that when he gets back, there's another little problem to deal with, and she shows him the burnt scrapbook. Will hangs up his coat and asks how that happened. Helen: "You know how it happened." She advises him to keep it in perspective: "First go catch the murderer; then argue with your son." Will says mildly that he has a different perspective, and walks off with the album.