By Lady Lola
Snooki plans to stay in and rest up that night because she's worried history will repeat itself if she goes to the bars that night. Deena and JWOWW head up to the porch with her to talk things over. Snooki blames her problems on her break-up with Emilio. JWOWW thinks her little orange friend is Snookin' for love in all the wrong places. For her part, Snooki thinks her desperation for romance is "worse than a staph infection" and is making her depressed. She says she's addicted to bronzer, boys, and alcohol. Well, Ms. Polizzi, they say the first step to getting better is admitting you have a problem. So, brava. Now can you go back to being a hot mess again?
While the girls get all therapeutic and shit, it's T-shirt Time for MVP. Deena joins them for their night out at Bamboo, hitting on girls with pizzazz. The guys have a grand old time watching her antics, and Pauly says Deena has an open invitation to hang with the guys. Soon enough, a faux hawked young man -- aptly named Dean -- takes a liking to Deena, and they start bumping and grinding. The guys immediately notice that Dean is a carbon copy of Ronnie, albeit a little less smash-faced if you ask me. The Situation thinks Deena is fulfilling fantasies about Ronnie by picking up this gorilla.
Dean accompanies Deena home, and the guys trail them the whole way calling him "Ronnie." They even drag him into the confessional for some Ronnie mimicry. While Deena slips on her bikini, the guys decide to take Dean, a.k.a. Fake Ronnie, into SamRo 2.0's bedroom and introduce him to Sammi to see if it trips her out. Sammi can't really be bothered to wake up and indulge them, but Ronnie seems amused. Eventually it comes out that Fake Ronnie has a girlfriend, whose name is also Sam. The inane pleasure they derive from the Ron-pelganger is rivaled only by that of Joey Tribbiani finding his hand twin.
Deena finally brings her straw hat and big, bouncing bazooms out and escorts this "hot juicebox" out to the hot tub. They exchange sweet talk, and he lies through his perfect teeth about having a girlfriend. While they make out, the guys pretend they're really stressed that Ronnie is cheating on Sammi and wonder whether they should tell her about his indiscretions. Vinny's all, "I know! Why don't we write an anonymous letter? It's fool-proof!" He and Pauly mock the overwritten, Miss Teen South Carolina stylings of the girls' Miami letter as they promise to live up to girl code. Oblivious to all this, Deena invites Fake Ronnie back to her bedroom to cuddle, thinking she's achieved a major coup. She does clarify that she didn't give him "the golden ticket... just a sneak peek." The morning, Fake Ronnie leaves for work under the watchful eye of Sammi. The minute he's out the door, Sammi breaks it to Deena that FR has a girlfriend. Deena seems pretty unfazed since she got herself some oral attention downstairs.
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