By Lady Lola
The burning questions will have to wait, though, because Ronnie decides to get some dumb-ass side-torso tattoo. Sammi joins him for the needling. This act of solidarity apparently seals their bond for the ages. Ah, vapid love!
Elsewhere, Pauly, Sitch, Vinnie, and Angelina head out for sushi. Angelina prides herself on being the only girl hanging out with the guys, not realizing that they're just letting her tag along because they don't care enough to antagonize her openly. They do, however, passive-aggressively remind her that all the girls are gunning for her. Angelina pretends that she doesn't care, giving the age-old "I'm not here to make friends" excuse.
That night, in a further effort to pad the show so it will actually last another 10 episodes, we learn about the guys' pre-game dressing routine. In short, there is a preparatory tank top followed by "T-shirt time" in which the fellas actually put on their finery (a.k.a. whatever Ed Hardy monstrosity they find most aesthetically pleasing) for the night. What this says to me is that these MFers sweat like a whore in church. Who needs two shirts for one night? Also, Pauly D coats himself with at least 20 seconds of Axe body spray. I can't imagine the squiggly lines coming off of that one in person, y'all.
After T-shirt time, the kids finally head out. Angelina gets three-sheets wasted and randomly ensconces herself in the bicurious scene. Meanwhile, Sitch starts publicly smushing on some girl that is too wasted to A.) coordinate her mouth and teeth so she doesn't bite him to the point of bleeding and/or B.) keep herself upright long enough not to fall off the bed-shaped banquette and expose her underwear to America. The bar is high, folks. Also? Pauly hooks up with an engaged girl. Angelina takes this be some sort of a big deal, which is doubly rich because not only was Angelina running around with a married man last season but also, given his escapades with JWoWW, clearly Pauly doesn't give a fuck. And he tells Angelina as much. Her response? "I love you." He responds by walking away and telling his bros to jump on her like a grenade. AFA: Angelina Free America!
Eventually, the kids get home and groan about how they have to work in the morning. The Situation, Angelina, and Pauly are the only ones still awake for the drunk binging. Naturally, Angelina stirs shit back up about Pauly hitting it with a married (read: engaged) girl. Sitch points out Angelina's hypocrisy but still tries to keep things congenial by reminding her everyone has to get their smush on. Pauly, on the other hand, tells her to step the eff off and the only reason he doesn't give her shit about her romantic entanglements is because he hates her -- just like everyone else.
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