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When the Usurper President decides to grace Jericho with a stop on his "Brainwash The West" tour, a little bit of hell breaks loose. Darcy steals a walkie-talkie to cause a "crash," which allows Hawkins to download some TS/SCI files proving that the bombs came from the former Soviet Union, not North Korea. (Jake has a bit of a freakout over this, which is odd, because Hawkins already told him where the bombs came from last season, but Jake might be catching the stupid from his brother and Emily.)
In his quest to get the truth out, Jake chats up a morose presidential press pool journalist and convinces him to blow the whole thing wide open. Too bad the journalist gets quietly murdered before he can even write his lede. (Jake has another freakout over this. He's getting soft.)
Meanwhile, the President gives a scary speech at Richmond Farm, raises the new flag, calls his fiefdom "The Allied States of America," and gives a funeral for the United States of America and her flag. Leaving for the Usurper President's Constitutional Convention, Grey appoints Eric Acting Mayor and promises he's going to ask POTAS some tough questions. Oh, and there are also these new hot-off-the-press textbooks that are already rewriting our history. Literally. (Jake doesn't have a freakout over this, but only because no one's told him yet. Or he can't read.)
Valente gives Beck a bit of a smackdown over the lack of progress and sends him an "independent contractor" to help him out with the day-to-day crap. At the very end of the episode and under cover of darkness, a clean-shaven D.B. Sweeney shows up to reprise his role of being a very bad man. (The Jake freakout on this one will be huge, loud, and probably quite red.) Want more? The full recap starts right below!
You can't tell but I'm actually rubbing my hands at the prospect of the five episodes. (I haven't seen the last one yet.)
Previously: the battle with New Bern isn't really over, Maj. Beck took Jake aside a lot, Jake is the new sheriff in town, and Eric is still very stupid. Oh, and the President's coming to town.
On the farm of bucolic and affianced bliss, Mimi finds a rose on the banister and chocolate chip pancake breakfast waiting for her on the porch. Stanley whipped it up in honor of her first day at J&R. After Stanley talks about how excited Mimi must be to do a job where she gets to "count things, add things up, maybe even a little subtraction," Mimi waxes OCD over the idea of being knee-deep in labels, barcodes, and spreadsheets on a 9-5 basis. Stanley affectionately tells Mimi that she's incredibly boring. Oh, the billing and cooing of lovebirds. Before Mimi can throw Stanley's ring at him and stomp off, he explains that, a month ago, they were in a struggle to the death with the Costco town, and now they have pancakes and barcodes. Mimi realizes, "We're boring!" But it's a good thing! And then, because Stanley hasn't had enough near heart attacks on his farm, a helicopter storms its way in and lands on the farm. The nerve. A suit gets out and introduces himself as the President's Deputy Communications Director. "The President?!" Mimi boggles. The DCD announces that Pres. Tomarchio wants to address the nation from the bloodied steps of the Richmond Farm. Can they bear the honor?
Town center. Sheriff Jake goes about his sheriff-ly duties to prepare the town for the honored visit. Maj. Beck greets him, noting, "Nice uniform." Jake grins down at his usual shabby clothes and flashes the badge at his waist: "I'm pacing myself." Why do I have to find that so endearing? I mean, the lack of uniform is a metaphor of anvilicious proportions -- ooh, Jake isn't in uniform! Jake will never really be the town sheriff, because it's not in his rebel heart! See Jake buck authority! But yet...I'm weakened by this show that has become my recapper Kryptonite, and I find it adorable rather than annoying. Jake tells Beck that he doesn't really know why he's needed on the scene when the Secret Service has everything pretty well covered. Beck drops one of his many rubrics from Tuesdays With Major Beck: An Old(er) Man To A Young Man And Peacekeeping's Greatest Lesson: "Local intel always beats eye in the sky." Beck says that "Condor" will be there soon. "'Condor'?" Jake repeats. "Code name for the President," says Beck. "Biggest bird in the West." Good thing he's not in the East; otherwise Caroll Spinney might have to deliver a smackdown.
Out at Hawkins's Happy Hunting Hut, Chavez and Hawkins strategize some ambiguous plan that will end with Chavez taking an escape route to the open road. Hawkins adds, "I just wish there were some way of doing this without you getting burned." I just love the spook language in this show. I can't wait until someone gets "made." Chavez shrugs that riding with the army was a means to uncover the truth, but that now the truth is coming to them. Hawkins looks up at Chavez, who doesn't quite hold his gaze. SUSPICIOUS! Chavez says that if all goes well, he'll be in Texas by the day, and they'll be changing history. "Or," says Hawkins, always seeing the fuzzy end of the lollipop, "we'll be dead."
Tonight's Morse code message is, "Tonight, on a very special Jericho, Jake learns about good-touch/bad-touch."
Inside some sort of darkly-lit command center with computer screens flashing faces, and those Plexiglas boards they never get tired of writing on in Numb3rs, Beck explains to Jake, "They call this a White House on wheels. It unloads and reloads at every stop during the tour. Command and control capabilities -- it equals anything we had before the attacks." So much for my idea of a White House on wheels looking like Barbie's camper. Beck adds, "The President could fight a war from this room." Ah, it's a Situation-mobile. The DCD elbows his way in and says, "The President has struck a stop from his itinerary [probably because he blew it up]; that ETA of three hours is now twenty-eight minutes." Beck orders Chavez (Beck thinks his name is "Parker") to take a patrol out and secure the routes. Chavez copies that and says he'll send the team out. Beck looks at him, "No, I want you to do it, Parker. We need all eyes out there." Chavez pauses long enough for us to fully get that his plans with Hawkins just got screwed up, before yessirring Beck. Darcy -- also in the room -- looks concerned.
Darcy meets Hawkins at Bailey's and briefs him of the situation. She doesn't know whether Chavez managed to get the password before going out on patrol, because he didn't have the chance to give it to her. Hawkins decides to get the password himself, but first he needs to get a hold of one of the SS's walkie-talkies. Darcy talks him into letting her do it.
While Bonnie (hi, Bonnie!), Stanley, and Mimi watch, a crew of construction guys prettify the Richmond Farmhouse for the presidential visit. Stanley didn't realize how much he had let the place go. "Oh, I don't know, the glare from the shell casings really makes the window treatments pop," Mimi snarks. Bonnie signs something about new grass, and Mimi scoffs, saying she's still trying to make their wedding registry of vital importance to national security. Stanley can't believe Mimi's already planning the registry, and Mimi consoles him by adding, "And I've already taken off the list luxury items we already have, such as your Star Wars collector glasses." Stanley would TOTALLY have those Star Wars glasses from Burger King! I think the only one my sister and I didn't break is the Darth Vader one from 1977. Sadly, though, Vader's eyes got all etched out by the dishwasher. Stanley says he hopes Mimi's friends are buying the high-ticket items, because none of his invitees can afford an espresso maker. Bonnie glares at her brother as Mimi, thrown off-balance, says that she'll go make sure all the president's men aren't scuffing up their floors. Bonnie smacks her brother and signs, "She doesn't have anyone to invite. Use your head." Stanley groans. By the way? The signing for "Use your head" is now my favorite road rage expression. The fact that no one can see me doing it doesn't lessen my enjoyment in the slightest.
In the Situation-mobile, Beck explains that they are using facial recognition software on the good citizens of Jericho, and checking them against their database. The flagged people won't be allowed anywhere near the Usurper President. Jake squints at the process and wonders, "Since when does a criminal database cross-reference people's voter registrations, DMV files, and library records?" "September 2006," states Beck. He asks Jake to go through the flagged Jerichoians and pull any that Beck needs to be worried about. Like...Jake himself? Jake grabs Beck and sotto voces, "I think I should warn you, I might be in there." Beck scrutinizes him: "You aren't." Which means, of course, that he totally is and Beck totally read up on him. "Have you seen my file?" Jake boggles. "I don't know," Beck sidesteps. "A lot of files come across my desk." Loving him!
In the mayor's office, Gray has problems tying his shoes. Sigh. Eric and Emily enter and show Gray a stack of new history textbooks the school just got from J&R. The book is called A New America: A Comprehensive History, and J&R wants them distributed by the end of the week. As usual, Gray doesn't get it. Emily tells him to look at the chapter titles: "The section after World War II is called 'The Decline and Fall of the First Republic.'" Eric adds, "Talks about how the United States died because we got weak. That the Cuban Missile Crisis was a failure because we didn't attack the Russians; that we pulled out of 'Nam in '75 too early. I mean, it goes on!" "How should we handle this?" Emily wonders. Well, first, get Bush out of office. Gray -- still miraculously not getting it -- shrugs, "I dunno." Emily repeats it incredulously. "What do you want me to tell you?" mutters Gray. "Teach from it or don't teach from it -- it's your classroom, make a decision." Eric angrily points out that there's a bigger issue here. First the flag, now their history -- where will it all end? With impeachment, I hope. "These people have saved this town from annihilation, to say nothing of the millions of people who are still alive right now because of them," says Gray. "I don't know, I think that earns them the right to a point of view." Wow, look upon the frightening danger of ignorance, my children. I think they should take the textbook and shove it up Gray's budget initiative.
Situation-mobile. Emily's face flashes up on Jake's monitor as a flagged Jerichoian. "These terrorists just keep getting better-looking, don't they?" a voice comments. Jake looks over at a reporter named Alex Utley from the Modesto Bee. "Second largest paper in California now!" Utley yuks, as Darcy slips into the Situation-mobile. "Of course, we had a little help getting there," Utley adds. "Is that supposed to be a joke?" Jake demands. Utley surveys Jake: "Guess not." Yes, all journalists are jaded and covered in gallows humor. I'm sure it won't be long before we see him as a whiskey drunk, and then we'll have a hat trick of stereotypes. Changing the subject away from Jake's murderous stare, Utley nods up at Emily's face and asks if she's a friend of Jake's. "She's a schoolteacher," Jake tells him angrily. "This says she's flagged because of her father," Utley asks, and Jake explains about Emily's father being the leader of a road gang. Jake adds, "Though I'm not quite sure why that makes her a threat." "Well, I think they'd say that there's no such thing as being too careful," says Utley, nodding sagely at Jake. Jake demands, "Are you reporting on them or for them?" Utley considers for a moment. "Yes," he says definitively, and walks away. Jake eyes him briefly before being distracted by Darcy slipping a walkie-talkie into her bag. Disconcerted, Jake looks around to see whether any of the Secret Service noticed this. Of course, they did not. Jake follows Darcy out just as we hear a crackling announcement: "Condor is arriving."
Flashing black SUVs squeal into town, and the Jerichoians gather to salivate over their first look at the Usurper President. George Newbern -- the actor with a convenient name who was the cute guy in Adventures In Babysitting and the groom in Father Of The Bride -- jumps out and shakes hands with everyone. He snaps a few photos with kids before smarming into the J&R edifice. Jake watches the Usurper President briefly, but sees Darcy slipping through the crowd. He follows her.
In Bailey's, Darcy shows Hawkins the purloined walkie-talkie, and Hawkins tells her to give him as much time as she can before she lets them find it. Darcy heads back to town. Coming up behind Hawkins, Jake grabs his arm and spins him around, demanding, "What's going on?" "I don't know what you mean," Hawkins frowns innocently. Jake says that he just saw Darcy take something from the Situation-mobile: "Now, what are you up to?" Before Hawkins can answer, an SS walks into the bar and yells, "Jake Green!" As soon as Jake turns, Hawkins does this awesomely smooth about-face and leaves the bar. He doesn't care what happens to Jake, he just needs to get out of there. Jake watches Hawkins leave and clenches his jaw before turning back to the SS, who is asking if took a secure walkie-talkie from the Situation-mobile. Jake didn't, but the SS pats him down anyway. Jake makes angry faces as he thinks about what Hawkins could be up to. The SS turns his attention to Utley, who is sitting at the bar drinking (I KNEW IT!), saying, "Utley, on your feet -- you were in the office as well. Let's go!" Utley rises slowly and sardonically says, "I'll assume the position." Such a long-suffering intellectual giant he is. The SS looks over and sees Jake walking away. He pauses in his frisking and snaps, "Sir? Nobody told you to move!" The SS radios someone that "the sheriff and the reporter are clean."
Inside J&R, Pres. Tomarchio greets Gray, and sincere-faces to Eric that he's sorry about Mayor Dad: "Your father sounded like a wonderful man. Wish I could've known him." No, you don't. If Mayor Dad knew you, he'd be taking your usurping butt out to the woodshed. Tomarchio steps back and spins a song about how humbled he is in the face of all the sacrifices Jericho made and all the suffering they've been through. "I think the country needs to hear this story," Tomarchio slavers. He turns to Gray as if he just had The Best Idea, and asks if he would consider representing the area at the upcoming Constitutional Convention. "Constitutional Convention"? Ruh-roh! For once, Eric doesn't act as stupid as usual, and immediately questions, "Constitutional Convention?" As Gray's jaw hangs open, causing him to lose IQ points every time he exhales, Tomarchio says, "We have the opportunity to write the chapter in American history." Didn't they already do that in A New America: An Apprehensive History? Tomarchio goes on: "The triumph of democracy over the forces of evil. Think about it -- we'll need good men like you guys to help keep this country strong." Gray finally pulls himself away from daydreaming about becoming governor of Kansas to stammer out his thanks. However, before Gray has finished licking the Usurper President's boots, the Secret Service runs in, yelling, "Crash Condor!" There's lots of hustle and bustle as the SS swarms on the President and takes him into the depths of J&R. God, that must be a horrible place to work. The gray-blue light from the exposed cinder blocks is so cold and dismal. It's like Joe's office in the testicular prosthesis factory.
In the Situation-mobile, one of the SS gets word that the Usurper President is secure, but he keeps his nose glued to the Plexiglas board so he doesn't see Hawkins sneaking in and silently taking out his co-SS. Just as silently, Hawkins then moves with deadly intent to the Plexiglas board. He pauses briefly to allow the scary music to ramp up to 11, curls his lip back, and moves in, sharklike, for the kill.
Trapped in Beck's outer office during the crash, Darcy fidgets and finally slips the purloined walkie-talkie into her purse. She tries to walk out casually, but Beck comes after her and explains that during a crash, no one can leave. The SS at the door eyes her. Darcy gets nervous.
Back in the Situation-mobile, both SS are on the ground, and Hawkins is deep into computer downloads.
Bailey's. Utley notices Jake pacing like a taunted tiger and invites him to grab a seat at the bar, adding sagely, "This will take a few minutes." Jake moves closer to Utley, but keeps pacing. He asks Utley why he isn't covering this incident. Utley shrugs that Cheyenne doesn't like these sorts of "incidents" to get out to the public. Also, Cheyenne controls Utley's credentials, so what they say goes. "What the hell kind of reporter are you?" Jake wonders. "The working kind," Utley grins. "So, that's your idea of being a journalist -- not making waves?" Jake snits. Utley scratches his forehead before asking whether Jake knows about the Hudson River Virus. Jake does. He also knows that the news reported that it was stopped at the Mississippi. "Of course, they don't want a panic, so they won't let us publish reports that it's already jumped the blue line," says Utley. "'The blue line'?" Jake questions. Yeah, the Blue Line. Also, suppressing spreading virus information? Scary. Utley explains that the Mississippi has UN Peacekeepers all up and down it. "So, nobody's reporting the real news, that gets you off the hook?" Jake observes, finally sitting down. Hey, Jake, didn't you know that the fake news is all you need? This sort of gets Utley's hackles up: Utley will have Jake know that before the bombs (BTB), he won two Pulitzers while working for the Los Angeles Times. So, you know, he knows from writing good things. Utley adds that real journalists don't exist anymore.
J&R. During the crash downtime, Gray and Eric talk about Ma Green, who has now left the ranch and is off visiting some family in Cedarbrook. Yeah, that family would be her son, Eli and his doctor brother. Eric adds that Gray should be happy Ma Green's not there, because she would throw that new history book right in the President's face. Gray softly protests, "Oh, come on." Eric goes on: "He wasn't elected, Gray! How does a government no one voted for change the constitution? We found time to have an election -- of all people, I thought you would remember that!" Yeah!
Bailey's. Jake pumps Utley for more information regarding the reports that the attacks were financed by Iran. "Well, there's plenty of theories out there to pick from," Utley says cagily. "What's yours?" Jake says that he's not a conspiracy nut. Nope, he's just a peanut. "Let me guess, you know a guy who knows a guy--" Utley predicts. No, Jake just knows a guy, and it stops there. This is JAKE we're talking about. Jake just scoffs, and then says, "What if there were more to that story? What if the government nuked two countries, who had nothing to do with attacking us?" "What if a guy wrote an exposé about the appalling gaps in port security three years before the attacks and ended up on page C-18 because it didn't have any zazz?" Utley returns. Sorry, you've got two Pulitzers and your stuff ends up on C-18? Utley thinks people get the news they deserve. "No," Jake argues. "People get the news they're given. It just takes someone willing to give it to them." Dude, if Jake starts going on about drinking sand, I'm going to throw a flag on the play for Sorkinizing. Utley makes a trite Watergate reference about two guys and a typewriter and says that if he thought anyone was willing to listen, he'd start talking. Well, I don't see Jake plugging his ears...
Beck's office. Darcy continues to prove to us that Hawkins never taught her a poker face.
Situation-mobile. The download is now 55% complete.
Beck's office. Darcy hugs her purse to her, and the SS finally acts on his suspicions. He makes a beeline for Darcy, which causes a concerned Beck to rush out of his office.
The download is 62% complete.
The SS asks if he can look inside Darcy's purse. She just stares at him, as Beck asks, "Is that really necessary?" The SS glances up at Beck and makes a sort of ugly attempt at a smile, telling us that he's giving Beck the barest respect possible, and says, "Yes sir, it is." The "sir" is almost sarcastic. Darcy just looks frightened.
The download is 78% complete.
All at once, Darcy just hands over her purse. The SS rifles though it, occasionally giving Darcy the gimlet eye. Beck catches Darcy's eye, shaking his head slightly and rolling his eyes irritably at the inconvenience. I'm really loving Beck.
Hawkins taps away at the laptop.
The SS continues to paw through stuff until Beck glances over at a corner of the office. He looks at the SS, who is still giving Darcy the evil eye. "You searched the entire office, huh?" Beck starts in. The SS finally looks up at Beck, who directs his gaze at a low shelf. We hear the walkie-talkie before we see it set on top of some envelopes. The SS bends down to look, and we get a nice view of his "Aw, crap!" face before he palms the walkie-talkie and uses it to tell the other SS that they found the radio. Beck tilts his head with total attitude as he eyes the SS, and again looks over at Darcy to shake his head over the idiocy of the SS. Okay, so they found it, but wouldn't the SS still be wondering how the walkie-talkie got from the Situation-mobile to Beck's office?
Eric walks into Bailey's and tells Jake that the crash is over because they found the walkie-talkie in Beck's office. "They're pretty embarrassed to have the whole group out looking," Eric adds. The wheels in Jake's brain turn and turn. "And light staff at the Situation-mobile," he says. "He caused the crash on purpose." Why did you have to say that out loud, Jake? It's like when Chuck flashes and can't seem to resist jawing about what he saw, usually right in front of the people who will kill him for it. Without explaining to dumb Eric or drunk Utley what he means, Jake takes off. "What?" Eric duhs, as Utley just goes back to his drink.
Situation-mobile. The download is 95% complete. Hawkins puts his fist up to his mouth and makes several faces. Scenes like this totally give me ulcers. The download is finally complete. Hawkins rips out the flash drive, and the monitor is back to doing its facial recognition thing. Stepping over the bodies of the SS, Hawkins heads to the door. Which he has to jump behind as it opens. Hawkins raises his gun and watches the SS discover the other SS bodies. The SS turns around, and Chavez -- suddenly on the scene -- delivers the SS a good, hard, sharp one between the eyes. The SS goes down with a grunt. Still behind the door, Hawkins waits while Chavez takes out another SS. Chavez kicks the SS down the stairs, and Hawkins closes the Situation-mobile door. More SS arrive on the scene, but Chavez leaps over the City Hall banisters and tries to escape. Unfortunately, he runs right into Beck and a knot of brother soldiers. Chavez runs in the other direction and takes down a Jericho deputy. Jake skids onto the scene. Chavez launches himself bodily at Jake, throwing his arms around him and knocking him to the floor. Chavez then gets rather handsy with Jake on the floor, hissing, "Find Hawkins!" before he's dragged off under Beck's angrily heaving chest and glare. On his feet, Jake looks totally rattled. Beck looks at Jake once before following Chavez out. Jake, still bugging out, looks around at Darcy standing in a doorway.
Hunting cabin. Hawkins taps away at his laptop. Jake bursts in, and after the usual gun-pulling and lowering, Jake gets all accuse-y with Hawkins for having a contact in Beck's camp and not telling him. "He hurt one of my deputies," says Jake. Aw, is it your deputy who got hurt, or your feelings because Hawkins is keeping secrets from you? Hawkins just asks how Jake knows about his guy inside. Jake angrily explains what happened with Chavez's arrest and Chavez's command for Jake to find Hawkins. Understanding, Hawkins snaps his head up. Moving quickly, he puts his gun on the desk and returns to Jake, where, without even asking, he begins to pull at Jake's clothes. Man, Jake is just getting molested all over the place tonight! Jake pushes Hawkins off, and they stare each other down. Hawkins orders, "Check your pockets! Check 'em!" Cautiously, Jake feels himself up. He pulls out a scrap of paper. "Okay," Hawkins breathes, and goes to snatch the paper. But Jake is too quick for the likes of Hawkins! He jerks his hand out of reach and demands an explanation. Hawkins explains about the files from the Situation-mobile, and how he can't open them without the password, which Chavez was supposed to get for him. Hawkins told Chavez that he could trust Jake if he was in trouble. "So, that's what this was all about -- files?" Jake blusters. Oh, Jake, they are never just files -- have you learned nothing?! We're talking about Hawkins, so at the very least they'd be Awesome Files. Hawkins just says, "Conspiracy this big leaves footprints, Jake." Jake glares and thrusts the password at Hawkins. Hawkins thanks him and jumps back on the computer. He explains to Jake that right after the bombs went off, all the blast sites were tested by the military to determine the origin of the fissile material in the bombs. The results said that the bombs were made in North Korea. "Are you saying they doctored the results? They falsified them?" Jake demands. Jake, if you don't start to learn faster, I'm going to start calling you "Eric." However, it's interesting that, after all Jake has been through, after all he's seen -- before the bombs, during the bombs, after the bombs -- he continues to be stubbornly naïve and trusting. A regular person who hasn't done nebulous stuff in Afghanistan and Iraq would be like that. Hell, I'd have a hard time accepting how deep the government's perfidy ran. Yet, Jake the teenage resister of authority, Jake with his Ravenwater-Blackwood background, Jake the accidental killer of a seven-year-old -- he's still not too jaded to hope that shiny, happy things happen. It's sort of sweet. Stupid, but sweet.
Anyway, Hawkins tells Jake that falsifying the results is exactly what the government did, but that somewhere in the downloaded files are the original results. And they didn't trash those results why? It's not like Hawkins was combing through the computer to find deleted files the way the Genius Bar does when you accidentally erase your entire hard drive the day before five deadlines. Also, why would the Situation-mobile need to carry those incriminating files around with them? Wouldn't they be safer with Valente? I know Beck said that the Situation-mobile was like a White House on wheels, but Valente's not traveling with them, so why are the files? Of course, I could be overlooking something. Like the fact that they do have a spare Valente on the Situation-mobile. They just store him in a man-sized safe.
Hawkins types in the password and accesses the necessary files that tell him all sort of delicious things. The fissile type? Plutonium -11. The weapon package? ICBM (intercontinental ballistic missile, not Intel chip-based Macintosh). And the country of origin? Yeah, that'd be the Soviet Union. Jake reads over Hawkins's shoulder that the plutonium was milled in Seversk. "That bomb wasn't from North Korea. It's an ex-Soviet nuke," Jake breathes, acting like this is the first time he heard it. Jake shuffles around the cabin, staggered by the proof that Cheyenne lied about the attacks. "Oh, this is just the paper trail," Hawkins corrects him. "And your bomb is the hard evidence," Jake finishes. Hawkins says, "Unfortunately, getting that evidence out is going to be damn-near--" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jake blibbers, pausing in his excessive temple rubbing. "What do you mean 'out'? Out -- out where?" Hawkins tells him that the bomb has to go to Texas, since the Lone Star State is on the brink of joining up with Cheyenne, making the Usurper President damn near unstoppable. Hawkins asks where they took Chavez. Jake says that he's in lockup, but that he's getting transferred to "some place called Loomer Ridge." Hawkins jumps up and says that Loomer Ridge is a supermax prison in Colorado: "That is the kind of place you don't come back from." Jake protests that Chavez is well guarded. "Oh, I'm not going to risk the greater mission trying to rescue him," Hawkins assures Jake. "But Chavez had the contacts in Texas, and I gotta find a way of getting this information to the right people by myself." "What -- you gonna drive around Texas with a bomb in the back of your car, looking for people you don't even know yet?" Jake stresses. "Well, when you put it like that, Jake," Hawkins says sarcastically. Jake thinks for a moment, and then jumps up, claiming that there might be another way to get the information out. He grabs his jacket and says, "There's a reporter--" "No," Hawkins interrupts him. "The media's in Cheyenne's pocket." Jake thinks that this guy might be different. Well, of course. I mean, he's got two Pulitzers, right? Jake says, "Let me feel him out, all right? I'll keep you insulated." Man, everybody is just feeling everybody tonight! Hawkins is still not convinced. "Unless you can think of a better way," Jake challenges. Hawkins is convinced. Jake storms out, muttering, "I've been trusting you; now it's time for you to trust me." The door bangs shut. Hawkins stares after Jake and nods to himself. Because he's awesome.
Bailey's. It takes a bit of doing, but Jake convinces Utley to get the information out. Utley wants to call his editors, but Jake stops him: "On a government-issued phone -- are you crazy?" No, just stupid. Jake shifty-eyes the bar and tells Utley that he needs to leave the press pool ASAP: "You can't talk to anyone." Like that won't be suspicious. Utley strikes me as the kind of guy who annoys everyone around him by talking too much. Case in point: before he even met Jake, Utley babbled that the terrorists were getting better-looking. Jake orders, "Drive straight through to Modesto." Utley considers this briefly: "So, you want me to sit on the biggest news story in history for two days? "Yeah, that part's non-negotiable, but you can drive as fast as you want," Jake tells him without cracking a smile. Utley grimaces, "Two guys and a typewriter, huh?" Jake nods, also grimacing. They shake on it.
Back at the farm, Stanley, Bonnie, and Mimi are all preparing for the presidential visit. Stanley grabs a blonde chick from J&R, who is finally given the name of "Trish," and asks if he can beg a favor off of her. Bonnie, standing to him, signs, "We can wait. Don't be annoying." Trish signs and says back, "Oh, no, he's not annoying; I really am busy." Surprised, Bonnie signs back, "You can sign?" Trish explains that J&R mandates that all their managers learn many languages, and that she picked sign language. She has distinctive evil possibilities here. Maybe she learned sign language to brainwash and ingratiate herself with the Richmond clan. J&R could definitely have cultish possibilities. Stanley barrels on: "I hear you guys are really good at tracking things, so--" Bonnie slaps a restraining hand on Stanley's arm and signals that he can leave it to her. Stanley walks away. Bonnie apologizes for her brother and says that he and Mimi are getting married. "She scares me," Trish says and signs. "Me, too," Bonnie signs, "But it just so happens that I like her." Aw. Trish winningly asks, "Okay, so what's the favor?"
Prison. Beck storms in to question Chavez; all he gets out of him is "I am a dead man." Beck stalks out, telling a subordinate, "Send his prints and ID to Camp Liberty; we'll figure out who he is soon enough." I'm really getting conflicted here. On the one hand, I like Beck, so I hate to see him confused and frustrated. On the other hand, if I'm Team Jakins, Beck has to be thwarted at nearly every turn. For now.
In town, Jake tells Eric that he'll meet him at Richmond Farm for the Usurper President's big speech, and then asks what all the surrounding fuss is about. "Some guy had a heart attack at Bailey's," Eric explains. "He was dead when they found him." Oh. Oh, shit. Jake trots over to the body bag and orders, "Hold up!" He unzips the thick black bag, exposing Utley's dead face. Maybe I should have seen that coming, but I totally didn't.
At Richmond Farm, a line of seven marines line up in their dress uniforms, their guns in hand. They're preparing for the three-volley salute, usually saved for military and police funerals where there's an actual body to mourn. Of course, we've never had a death of the country, so this might make sense. Sorry -- we've never had an official death of the country.
The Usurper President begins his speech by saying he's just so chuffed to be with them that day on such hallowed ground. The Usurper's flag flies above children in sundresses sitting on the hoods of cars. The U.P. goes on, saying that the dead gave their blood to protect their lives and liberties, "And so WE honor THEM." The U.P. does something here with his face. When I first watched, I thought he was imitating Bush, but I've come around to thinking he's doing an amalgamation of Clintonian lip-bite and a Bushy squint-wince. The marine in charge shouts something.
Hawkins pounds away at his keyboard. He keeps getting denied access to a certain file. Jake bursts in, checking to make sure no one followed him. He walks up to Hawkins, his hand over his mouth to hold back the vomit. He drops his gun on the desk and croaks, "It's over." His sheriff's badge and handcuffs follow the gun with a clatter. "He's dead." Hawkins furrows down at Jake's sloughed sheriff's trappings. Jake paces and clarifies, "The reporter's dead." Hawkins exhales a quick breath. He's clearly sorry for Jake, but he also clearly expected this.
Richmond Farm. The marines fold up our flag to a funereal triangle. Eric, to his credit, can't even watch. A marine presents the folded flag to the Usurper President, who in turn, presents it to Gray. "Accept this on behalf of a grateful nation," the Usurper President intones. Usually, when this sort of ceremony is performed, there's actually a corresponding dead body. The body of a soldier. My mother-in-law was presented with such a flag. There is no human body here. There's just our usurped flag, representing the barely cooled corpse of our fragmented country. Of course, this glib president could argue that the flag represents all the dead of Jericho. If that was the case, he should have handed the flag to Eric, the son of an actual deceased military man, and not to Gray. The folded flag is the United States of America. The marines fire three times. At the first shot, Eric jumps. Mimi cries without tears. Gray winces at the second shot. The Usurper President basks in the deadly glory of the third shot. The new flag flies.
Hawkins tells Jake, "They killed him." Jake wonders why they didn't kill Jake himself instead. "Well, if they suspected you were a threat, they would have," Hawkins explains. He guesses that Utley called his paper to prep them on his forthcoming exposé. Obviously, the call was intercepted. But Jake warned Utley about using a government-issued phone, so was Utley that stupid (or that drunk), or did the word get out in another way that we should be worried about? Jake jumps up from the cot he was slumped against and paces again: "We need to get hold of that phone log. I want to know exactly who he talked to and I want an autopsy." Hawkins breaks it to Jake: "You will never see that body again." He adds, "And we're lucky they didn't take him alive, because he would have given us up!" Jake bites back impotent tears.
Richmond Farm. The Usurper President goes on with his sickmaking speech: "You've lost loved ones and here you are again, still strong, still proud. This is the best of America." Weak-minded applause breaks out. "But infighting has left us weak," the U.P. adds, "and vulnerable to our enemies." Eric looks at Gray, sitting to him, to see if he Gets It yet. "Remnants of the old federal government have fallen back to Columbus, Ohio. After the attacks, that government endlessly debated our response. So, in a vacuum of leadership, I acted to let the world know that America was down BUT NOT OUT!" More weak-minded applause, accompanied by brainwashed cheers. Eric, Stanley, and Bonnie do not cheer or applaud. Stanley -- for all his precipitous contract-signing -- appears to be thinking.
Jake storms that they can't just let "them" get away with this. "They already have," Hawkins reminds him. He says that he has to figure out what he's going to do . With one foot out the door, Jake bursts, "You figure out what you're going to do -- I can't let this go!" In two steps, Hawkins is at Jake's side: "Jake, I need you not to be my problem right now." Jake makes very adolescent faces.
Richmond Farm. "The Federal Government of the Eastern Bloc states no longer has any governing authority beyond the Mississippi. You've seen the flag. This is the flag of a new country, flying from the Mississippi to the Pacific! The thirteen stripes of red and white still represent the thirteen colonies, but they run in a new direction, just as we must chart a new direction for ourselves." Eric shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Gray, on the other hand, looks fully hydrated with the Kool-Aid. "In a few short weeks, Mayor Anderson will represent you as we ratify a constitution for this new nation that will be known to the world by a new name: The Allied States of America!" There's some silence. Puzzled, Gray looks down at the dead flag in his hands. The Usurper President goes on about a clean slate and how their debts have been forgiven: "And we are open again for business. That means jobs, stocked shelves, a return to life as we knew it! In the fall, we'll have elections where we can all take part in building a new government." Great! They get to vote for their leaders! (Offer not valid in any states east of the Mississippi. The following is not included in offer: President. Treasonous submission of multiple protests of the process, especially in cases where the president may have already elected himself disqualifies this voting request. The Allied States of America reserves the right to deny and/or disregard any ballot request deemed to be contrary-wise or argumentative. Only ballots electing the approved candidates will be accepted. This process may not be protested or questioned without the express written permission of Halliburton, KBR, and Blackwater.) "God bless you, and God bless the Allied States of America!" the U.P. finishes, to people's cheers. Meanwhile, guns and soldiers guard those cheering sheep, because, you know, they're protecting the sheeps' right to cheer. So, with the new name, does that make Tomarchio POTAS? Because I'm calling him UPOTAS from now on.
Jake lies in wait for Beck to bring out Chavez. "Where you taking him?" Jake asks. Beck barks that he's being transferred. Yes, his new job will be Sergeant Major of a very deep, very quiet, very black hole. Yelling, "You sunuvabitch!," Jake launches himself on the handcuffed Chavez and pushes him against a wall. The soldiers try to pull Jake off, but Jake punches Chavez right in the eye. Beck shoves Chavez and the attending soldiers off down the hall, and tells Jake sincerely, "No one wants to do that more than me. He put one of my men in the hospital, too. Oh, he'll get his due, I assure you." Beck leaves. Jake watches him go, a smile twitching at his lips. He sighs with certain contentment.
Hours later at Beck's office. A lieutenant looks over a file and pounds insistently at Beck's doorjamb to tell him that the info on Parker-Chavez is back. Apparently, Parker died in action in Afghanistan in 2003. Beck pauses, and then realizes, "He's BlackOps." Yeah, he is! Beck tries to raise the prisoner convoy on the radio but gets no response.
We pan to an abandoned Humvee somewhere in Kansas. We hear Beck's voice on the radio. All the soldiers are dead or seriously incapacitated, and Chavez is gone. He has that power to make people's eyes stream black ichor, doesn't he? That's what BlackOps really means.
Eric walks into Gray's office and find the mayor packing up stuff. Eric drops the folded flag on Gray's desk and says, "You left this at the farm." Gray looks at the dead flag and plops it back on his desk. "You didn't even ask him one question," Eric accuses, "All you did was say yes." Not looking Eric in the eye, Gray admits, "Well, I wanna go to that convention, and interrogating the President is a good way to make sure that never happens." Half-heartedly, Eric wishes Gray a safe trip and turns to go. Gray calls him back to show him that he found a framed Gadsden Revolutionary Flag. Eric lets out a surprised breath. It was Mayor Dad's flag; they thought it got lost during the renovations. Gray found it in storage, and thought about hanging it in his office. "But it just isn't...me," he finishes. Yeah, that's putting it mildly. Gray, however, fixes Eric in his gaze and says, "I'm going to Cheyenne to ask those questions, and I'm going to keep asking the questions until I get some answers. I just don't want them to see me coming." See, I am so not heartened by that because, (a) I don't think Gray even knows what questions to ask; and (b) he will die. Gray is not sly. In fact, the spectrum of slyness in Jericho goes: Hawkins, Jake, Mimi, Frodale, Mary, Bonnie, Stanley, Eric, Jimmy, Gray, Bill. Gray isn't even a Jimmy -- that's how clueless he is. Gray is the type to get romanced by a three-star room graced with two-star scotch and he'll ask one artless question and be dead the day. They'll make it look like suicide and attribute it to PTSD. At least Gray will get in one last semi-smart act, he wants Eric to be mayor while he's gone. "And try not to get us into too much trouble," Gray half-jokes. Eric smiles.
Beck's office. Beck stands at attention in front of a flat-screen television. A raspy voice tells Beck that what transpired that day is unacceptable. Beck respectfully says he understands, and we get a good ol' eyeful of Valente on the flat-screen. Valente wants to know how Beck's men lost the prisoner. Beck doesn't know; there's absolutely no record of this alive-again Perkins ever existing. They can't find fingerprints or DNA. "Not to mention every piece of paper with his name or picture on it has disappeared from my CV," Beck adds. Valente changes subjects, asking about the search for Sarah Mason. Beck has nothing to say on that score. Valente nods, "That's what I thought. You're overwhelmed. I'm sending a private contractor who knows the area. He'll take care of the day-to-day administration of the town while you find the terrorist." Valente hangs up. Beck is not thrilled. He turns to see Jake walking into the outer office. Beck walks out and tells him about Chavez's escape: "I've been racking my brain, trying to figure out how a handcuffed prisoner, guarded by three soldiers, escaped through the back of Humvee." Jake doesn't say anything. "Any ideas?" Beck demands. "Well, I heard he was a spook," Jake supplies. "Figured he picked the locks on his cuffs and fought his way out." Beck pretends to consider this: "Sounds plausible. Suppose I should have thought of that. Thanks for your help today. Much appreciated." Beck walks away. He's bugged.
Richmond Farm. Mimi irritably folds bunting and asks for a little help. Oddly, Stanley and Bonnie hang back, not trying to help at all. Finally, Mimi whirls around to ask them what's going on. Stanley freezes, holding some files. Bonnie signs at Stanley to tell Mimi. "Tell me what?" Mimi asks. Stanley tries to say that there's nothing to tell, but because she has more stones than her brother, Bonnie steps in. She says that because Mimi had no one to invite to the wedding, they asked J&R to track down Mimi's family. Stunned, Mimi swallows hard and asks, "What did you find?" Bonnie just looks down. Stanley shakes his head and says, "Nothing. I mean, we found your father's second cousin on a census in Indiana, but the area had already been evacuated. And there was a woman with the same last name in a nearby refugee camp, but she wasn't related." Mimi looks away quickly. She nods and wipes her eyes: "Thank you." Stanley feels awful: "I'm sorry. I really wanted you to have your family at the wedding." Mimi steps close to him and says, "I will." Stanley looks at her. Mimi takes his face in her hands and explains, "You're my family." Stanley gets it. Mimi reaches over to Bonnie: "You and Bonnie. From here on in." They all hug. Aw.
Somewhere on a Kansas hill, Hawkins meets Chavez. "Thank Jake for me," Chavez says, tossing Hawkins some keys. "You were right about him. He's got good hands." Okay, that's it -- I've restrained myself until now, but HOYAY! Chavez says he just wishes Jake would learn to pull his punches a little better. "Yeah, me too," Hawkins snorts, and tells him that Darcy "scrubbed" Beck's office, so there will be no pictures of Chavez to be used as tracers. Chavez says that Hawkins has a good woman. "Yeah, so she keeps telling me," Hawkins says. He asks whether Chavez has everything he needs. Chavez hands a cell phone over to Hawkins, promising, "The phone's clean. When I get to Texas and meet up with my contacts, I'll call." They shake and part ways. Hawkins calls Chavez back to ask if he's ever heard of a project called "Boxcar." Chavez says he hasn't, and asks what it is. "It was a file on the flash drive," Hawkins tells him. "It was the only thing that the password wouldn't open." Chavez thinks a moment and admits, "That's strange -- that password should have opened everything on that disk." "Yeah," Hawkins italics, adding that he'll keep working on it. Chavez doesn't say anything as he turns to go, but he turns back to ask, "'Member when this job used to be easy." "Um...NO!" Hawkins says with the most perfect comic timing ever. Chavez and Hawkins walk off into two separate sunsets. Hawkins looks down at his "clean" cell phone and pulls at his injured shoulder.
Jake walks into his house to find Emily and Eric drinking beer. What, does she live there now? What about her house? GO HOME, EMILY! Jake sits down with a world-weary breath, and Eric tells him that Gray appointed him acting mayor in his absence. Jake grins, "Mayor Green." Emily giggles inanely that it's nice to hear that again.
Humvee headlights stream into town. Beck waits outside City Hall. The Humvees pull up. It's Ravenwood. DAY-UM!
Green house. Without revealing anything about his day, Jake sighs that things with Beck are "getting dicey." "Well, we've dealt with worse and we're still here," Eric reminds him. Yeah, when YOU left your wallet in Rogue River. Dumb-ass. "We can handle it," Eric decides. Jake smiles at his brother's naïveté and leans forward to clink beer necks with him.
A few dark figures get out of the Ravenwood 'vees. One steps into the light to meet Beck. Ho-LY shit! It's D.B. Sweeney! Meaning, of course, it's Goetz! Oh, this is just so, so bad! How awesome is this? (By the way, the screaming in my house? Only time it was louder was for the Evil UniverseEnterprise.) Goetz may have shaved himself after his last tangle with Jake and the Black Man, but he's still evil. He's subverting the Evil Goatee paradigm. Beck introduces himself and asks "You Goetz?" D.B. Sweeney doesn't really care who Beck is, and says, "Tactical operations officer, I'll take it from here." He brushes by Beck and stomps into City Hall. We go dark on Beck's rather irritated profile. Beck, man, you better do something about this!