MAY 15TH-ish
1: I gotta say, guys, I'm loving the schedule. We got Cane, Moonlight, and Kid Nation -- it's looking sexy. Very sexy.
2: I'm getting off on it just thinking about it.
3: Remind me, what's Moonlight again?
1: Dude gets bitten by his vampire bride, uses his powers for good, and falls in love with a mortal.
3: Oh, right. Right, the "Angel Becomes a P.I." thing.
2: Yeah, but it takes place in New York, so it's totally different.
1: Totally.
Grunt: Sorry to interrupt, but, um...
1: Yeah? What's up?
Grunt: There's another bag of peanuts for you guys.
1, 2, and 3: ...
Grunt: From the Jericho fans.
2: Oh, right. Okay, just dump 'em in the breakroom.
1: What's the deal with the peanuts again?
3: Because of the whole "nuts" thing in the finale? Stanley and getting the war story wrong, and then Skeet saying "nuts" over the walkie-talkie, remember?
1: Vaguely.
4: I really like peanuts.
1: Anyway, we're thinking that with the schedule set to have--
Grunt: Um...
1: What?
Grunt: There's another bag.
2: So?
Grunt: Well, it's bigger.
4: Dude, can we get some of that in here? Thanks.
2: Can we get back on task, please? Now, we want to leverage --
Grunt: Look, uh...
1: WHAT?!
2: Another bag?
Grunt: Sort of "another bags." Bags. Plural.
3: You know what? For any and all future bags of peanuts from distraught fans, family, and Skeet, put them the breakroom -- ALL of them. Got it?
1: Do you think a little Lord Of The Flies-like brutality around sweeps is too much to hope for on Kid Nation?
THREE WEEKS LATER
1: Thanks for coming in, people. I know it's been a rough couple of weeks.
3: No more peanuts, please? No more!
1: Shhhhh. It's okay. It's all going to be okay.
4: I like putting peanuts on ice cream. Just vanilla ice cream and peanuts. No frills, you know? Just the sweet and the salty to satisfy all cravings.
2: Last night, my wife said she could smell them on me. I had to take three scalding showers before I felt clean. Then she told me I smelled roasted.
1: Yeah, well, I'm definitely having a nervous breakdown. A few nights ago, I dreamed that Mr. Peanut was riding a bomb over Kansas and screaming.
2: That's nothing. I went to my kid's birthday party at the Ground Round and had a panic attack. Why the HELL are peanut shells considered acceptable décor for a restaurant?
4: I had homemade peanut butter once. You have to keep it in the fridge and mix it up before you eat it, but it was good.
1: How's Bill doing?
2: Well, he's off the respirator and responding to visual cues.
1: Yeah, we probably should have quarantined everyone with peanut allergies before one of them went into anaphylactic shock.
2: I'm just glad we found a hermetic sealer who could work on the weekend.
4: Do you think it's hard to make homemade peanut butter?
3: They're salty and stringy and they dry out your fingers and they're not even nuts!
4: Oh, I'll bet I could make some bad-ass peanut butter cookies. With the forking and shit?
1: So, we're agreed, then? Jericho has to come back?
2: Yes, yes, we have to stop them before they move on to [choke] Circus Peanuts.
3: They're NOT even NUTS, people! NOT NUTS! NOT NUTS!
1: I don't see any other way. We're all cracki--
2: Don't go there, man. Just...don't.
3: They're LEGUUUUUMES!
1: Right -- let's just swear we won't make a practice of this, okay?
2: Agreed -- and also, from here on out, no more significant mentions of food of any sort in any script ever again.
1: And forget that George Washington Carver biopic Spike Lee's been trying to push.
2: The wounds are just too raw.
4: Kung Pao chicken has peanuts in it. They're all spicy but kind of nutty, you know?
1: Oh god.
2: What now?
1: What if we cancel Moonlight and they send blood?
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