Hello, teaser. What's that you say, in your mellifluous, masculine, he-manly voice? That Jake Foley is America's newest secret weapon? Reeeally. And, come again? He can see and hear farther and better than normal men? Well, my stars. And what's that fun little tagline you all came up with? How does it go? Come on, it's so cute when you say it. Ah, there it is: "He is: The ultimate human upgrade." Giggle! I love to hear you say that. Please, don't ever stop being so adorable. It's just so cute!
After a few substantiating shots of D.C., including some super-fast subliminal slides of the Metro and the Lincoln Memorial, we land at the NSA. Jake storms down the hall and bursts into Leader of the Pack's office with a terse, "How could you!" Leader gets off the phone in a hurry and says, "It's a little something called chain of command." Jake barks, "It's a little something called betrayal!" Jake hollers that he had promised "her" that "she would be safe." Leader shouts, "That wasn't your promise to give!" Meow! Reeeearrr! Sorry, I was thinking cat fight. This must be a little more serious than that, since some armed SWAT dudes barge in and haul the Bickersons "upstairs," which must be a euphemism for I-N T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
The Man is on the phone, figuring out some details, when two menacing SWAT dudes march in crisply and fix him in their gaze. Whoops.
Dr. Thora walks smartly over to her chrome candy jar and takes out what looks like a Reese's Cup. Mmmm. Then the armed goons walk in and she stammers, "Can I help you?" How do SWAT dudes eat a Reese's? They swarm over it and then it's like it never existed in the first place.
The goons with guns lead Jake and his pack into a dimly lit auditorium. Jake asks what's going on. "It's an emergency board of inquiry. It's like a trial." The Man chimes in with, "Only worse." Dr. Thora, like Towelie, has no idea what's going on.
Silver Fox is sitting in center position at the witch trial, and intones that it's being held to determine how effectual this special ops team really is. Leader tries to break in by saying that she and her team should have been notified, and some smitty leans into his mic and says they are under no obligation to notify anyone of anything. Well, excuuuuuse me! I though it was called proooootoooocoooool! Silver Fox says that during the events of the last few days, there is a need to figure out Jake's behavior. Ooh, flashback! I hope the screen goes all wavy like when Wayne and Garth do flashbacks. Silver Fox leans and says, "Don't worry. This isn't a witch hunt." Have you noticed that often when people tell you something isn't something, it usually is? Like when some dick at a bar comes up to you and tells you he's "not like other guys." Or when you're dating casually, and a guy tells you he really doesn't want anything serious, and you agree and remind him you're seeing other people, and then he gets all jealous and starts talking about eye of the tiger or some such shit? And all you can think of is, dude, you JUST SAID you didn't want anything serious, and I AGREED with you. So yeah, I'm guessing that this inquiry is in fact very much like a witch hunt. It's 8:47, and a lady calls the meeting to order.
So yeah, five years ago, the NSA started studying the nanotechnology stuff in detail. Then a few months ago, a lab accident resulted in infecting one Jake Foley with nanites, making him super-powered, blah blah blah improved hearing-cakes, blah blah blah ultimate human upgrade-cakes, blah blah blah we know already-cakes. Jake got the full promotion to field agent, and the special ops team was founded. Smitty speaks up, and it's so like Bob Roberts when he says, "This team. At. Best. Has produced uneven results." Jake lifts a palm in the classic "give me a fucking break" gesture. The Lady says technology is not the issue here, and while Jake's abilities are impressive…Smitty agrees, saying that the technology was designed to be used in following orders. Which Jake has not done, apparently. Recently "and most egregiously," he disobeyed a direct order to assassinate an enemy of the state. Then he aided that same individual with an attempt to assassinate another individual. Jake's mouth falls attractively open, and he turns and looks at Leader of the Pack beseechingly. She keeps looking straight ahead, then stands up and asks what the possible outcomes of the inquiry might be. Termination of the program, of course. Whoa, is that like cancellation? Ruh roh. Jake pinches the bridge of his nose.
Credits. Though the VO is gone, I can still tell that Jake's life just got reeeeal interesting.
Lights up on the inquiry. Silver Fox intones solemnly that "this is not a trial in the formal sense." Jake asks The Man what that means exactly, and The Man hisses back, "We don't get a lawyer." He does not add, "Duh." Leader of the Pack is asked to recall her events of the issue. She starts by stating that there was break-in at a government research facility in Alexandria (shout-out?), Virginia. On the screen, we see a sexy blonde in a lab coat totally house a security guard, then hold his unconscious head up to the eyeball scanner so she can gain access to a restricted area. Leader concludes by saying that the blonde intruder stole three vials of a controlled substance. Jake leans in and says, sotto voce, "Why didn't you tell them about the...?" Leader sighs and looks away, and Silver Fox booms that Jake should address any questions to the inquiry board. Jake says okay, then is cut off and asked to ID himself for the court's records. A stenographer lady sits and taps away on her keyboard. Kind of like me! Except I doubt stenographers make up smart-assed nicknames for the players, or add lengthy asides about the dudes they're dating. Which brings me to...
This week, on Tales From Alex's Harem, I have to relate a story about how my harem-having has drawbacks. Mainly, it rules, but one of the main points of successfully managing one's harem is this: Sensitivity.
Funhouse, as you may remember, is a great guy to hang out with. He also has a high IQ, and nothing gets by him. I got a posse to come out for dim sum one Sunday morning, and my cousins and I were discussing Friendster.com, through which I met a guy that was pretty great. I said so. Out loud. Funhouse was silent. Later, I gently got an earful about how he felt I was being insensitive for mentioning this other guy. He was right, of course. I was just using an example about how Friendster.com is harmless and fun, but of course, people have feelings and don't like to be reminded that there's someone else in the picture. My bad! My face was red, and I couldn't apologize enough. I felt like such an ass. So now I have to remember not to mention certain details about some people in front of other certain people. Perhaps I should have already had this point in the front of my mind, but when you're nearing a food coma and can't stop eating fried dumplings and salty shrimp with jalapeño peppers, etiquette is not exactly easy.
So yeah, think of me as the court stenographer who likes to screw around with the proceedings. Jake identifies himself as "the human subject with the millions of tiny robots running around inside of him," and notes that the important thing to remember is that the stolen substance was three vials of varcon gas. Smitty asks the stenographer to stop the record, and warns Jake that this proceeding is not about the varcon gas, but about his actions in the field. Jake insists they're related. Smitty has the stenographer strikes any reference to the gas from the record. Oh my god, can we get with the backstory already. FINALLY, we got to it. Jake says he got an "urgent phone call" from The Man. They meet at a trendy bar, where a sexy blonde sits atop a bar stool and waves fetchingly at Jake and The Man. Jake lights up, until The Man says that the blonde's sister is in town and needs to be entertained for an hour or two. Jake says uh-unh, no way, forget it, until he sees the sister, who's pretty cute. They grab a table and fumble their way through conversation. "So, you really like those daiquiris?" "Jake, Jake." "Janet, Janet." "How do you go out there every day, knowing you might never come back?" Jake says he knows he is coming back because he's a computer tech. She winks knowingly, and compliments his ability to say nothing. "On the QT, I get it." Then she pushes her daiquiris aside and puts her hand on his, starts playing footsie with him under the table, and says she wishes she could show her gratitude in some way. Jake says stupidly, "It's getting late." It's only 9:30, she says. Then she grabs him and kisses him. Then they both fall to the ground. I don't know how that could have happened, but it did. Jake says he just "chipped a tooth," and she asks if he wants to go to his place.
Silver Fox breaks in, and Jake says innocently, "You told me to start with the top?" So, from there, Jake and The Man got a call about the stolen varcon gas, the "deadliest nerve agent on the planet." Jake looks uncomfortable and says he thought America never produced biochemical weapons. Leader says varcon gas has never been officially produced or tested in this country, does Jake get that? Right. Riiiight. Of course, we'd NIVAH do a thing like that! The Man says there isn't a lot to go on re: the investigation, but hey, is this a shoot-to-kill mission? Leader sends them off to Santa Costa.
Smitty notes that Jake's nano-skills don't seem to have any relevance to this mission, so why was he assigned, risking the nanotechnology program? Leader says pointedly that "Jake isn't an appliance, but a member of our intelligence community trained for intense field work." Jake has brains. Unlike a washing machine. But there are coffee makers you can program, which are pretty revolutionary. And those robotic vacuum cleaners are great! Though if you have a rug with tassels on the ends, the robot vacuum cleaners are pretty useless. Jake wins! Jake wins! Dr. Thora is called upon, and she leaps to her feet in all her stammering, bespectacled glory. Jake shoots her a sidelong glance, and she calms down a bit and retakes her seat. So, Dr. Thora, tell us about your examination of Jake before he left for Santa Costa?
Jake, absolutely shirtless, sits on Dr. Thora's examining table. Yow. For a skinny guy, El Gorham is H-O-T. Succulent as duck l'orange, but without the fattiness. She jokes about his awkward blind date with the daiquiri girl, and he starts off with, "Ahhh...funny, I've never had a female doctor before." Dr. Thora squinches up her face and asks if he has a rash. Oh, god. Once my friend's dorky brother was telling me about a groin growth he had, and I recommended my dermatologist, and he actually went to unbuckle his pants to show me the groin growth in question. Well, any growth in that area would be questionable, right? I screamed and looked away, so I was spared the sight of his groin. Dear Lord: Please rescue me from all unwanted glimpses of weirdos' groins. Thank you. Thy will be done. Jake takes a deep breath and asks, "What if a girl wasn't completely crazy and I wanted to take her back to my place?" Then you should call me, my dear. Dr. Thora turns away and stammers that with condoms, all should be cool. But what about transference of the nanites? I mean, Jake got them from a cut on his arm. Dr. Thora says that the risk of transference is pretty low, but she'll run some more tests and let him know. Oh, and please fill this cup with urine. Thank you!
The Man begins to testify. Was Jake as asset to the operation in Santa Costa? Why, yes, he was. Finally, begin flashback to the events leading to this inquiry. Cue the blown-out lighting! Start the slo-mo! Thank you. We're in Santa Costa. Jake and The Man sit in a car, eyeing the potential buyers and sellers of the varcon gas. A blonde Caucasian female and male. Santa Costa is a cute-looking town. Jake uses his super-sight to pick out the buyer and seller; then there's a chase, all in blown-out lighting. The music is tense and pound-y. Jake overturns a tray in the market. He scales a wall, then captures the blonde lady and the male and recovers the gas. He speaks some Español, too! Cute. The gas buyers clearly have buyer's remorse, too. Jake doesn't see the blonde who housed the security guard and liberated the varcon gas from Alexandria, Virginia lurking around the corner. Whoops! Maguffin! Gesundheit. Meanwhile, the other blonde and the man Jake captured insist like Towelie that they have no idea what's going on. Mission accomplished! Time for a little R&R.
Jake snoozes on his hotel bed, trapped under the slicing shadows of the ceiling fan. Hey, it's Dr. Thora. She just called to say that he can have sex now, "without fear of inter-hominid cross-transference." Jake is all, huh, whuh? Snuh? I can get laid? He grabs the air in a Coors Light gesture. Dr. Thora tries to impress on him that "it's important to find the right girl." Jake says, of course! He's "not going to run out of here and try to pick up the first girl [he] see[s]." Which, as I already explained to you, dear reader, means that he's going to pick up the first girl he sees. Like, soon.
We have hotel bar. Jake sees two cute females and gives them knowing glances. They shoot looks at each other, then walk away. Jake sits down by himself and looks in the bar mirror. "Yep. You're a reigning super-stud." And hey -- he didn't pick up the first girl he saw! Or even the second! But he did try. Then the blonde who stole the varcon gas steps up. Does Jake mind if she joins him? What's a polite way of saying, "HELL, no"? Is he sure? He's sure. She's Angela Wright. But we already know she's no angel. Be scared, Jake! Think with the head on your shoulders! Oh, it's already too late.
Back at the witch hunt/inquiry, NoAngela's dossier is on the huge screen behind the people sitting on the board. Is this the woman Jake picked up at the hotel bar in the middle of the mission? No, no, he didn't pick her up! And he thought the mission was over! So, what did Jake know about this woman exactly? Let's go back to the bar and find out.
A few shots later, Jake has learned that NoAngela is "double-jointed." So is Jake! NoAngela says, "Well, that settles it. We should get married." But before they get married, does Jake have a girlfriend? HELL, no. NoAngela is single as well. More shots arrive, and Jake asks, "Why did you come up to me tonight?" Well, he has such an honest face. "Very trustworthy." Is that a nice way of saying "sucker"? Oh, boy. I want Jake to get laid so badly, and yet we already know this girl is a major bad-ass who stole this gas and probably wants to recover it from the NSA. I have to say, I think my desire to see Jake get a little nooky is greater than the national security issue. Sorry! That's just where I live. Jake stammers out that if they like each other, and have these teeny little things in common, that perhaps they'd like to continue this conversation...NoAngela finishes with, "On the roof?" Jake would be okay with that. Or she could just slap him in the face and be done with it. She didn't say that.
Cue the Spanish guitars! We have a make-out scene. Jake and NoAngela, locked in a tight, passionate embrace, sweep clean the credenza with the flowers and the phone on it. The lilies scatter every which way, and the phone clatters to the floor with a clang. They back towards the bed. She unbuttons his shirt, and he awkwardly steps out of his shoes in a clumsy tango. The camera has them in frame, and they sink down out of the shot. When they come back up, they're still locked in embrace, but she has her shirt off. He murmurs, "You really are double-jointed." I'd roll my eyes, but that would mean I'd have to look away, and this is too good. He picks her up and slams her on the dresser; then finally they spin over to the bed. More rolling around in dim lighting, more Spanish guitars, more crashing as other pieces of clothing come off. Finally, the red lights fade as NoAngela writhes on top of Jake. Whew! Hotter than chipotle peppers, sweeter than Jewish wine.
Lights up at the dick-shriveling inquiry, where the terse lady asks if Jake really did take NoAngela back to his hotel room with the gas present and more NSA hardware around, in the middle of the mission. Um, yeah, he did. And it was awesome? Jake gets no points for tagging NoAngela. The Man breaks in and says Jake had no idea the mission was unraveling.
We go to an interrogation room. The Caucasian man defends himself -- he rented the villa not to store the varcon gas, but because he was having an affair. Whoops! A marital indiscretion is not the same as buying chemical weapons. Even the NSA knows that. And the vials the NSA recovered were fakes. So, The Man called Jake to tell him the news, and Jake was in a post-sex slumber, and besides, he had trashed his phone. Jake does wake up when he super-hears (mee mee mee mee mee!) the creak of his laptop case opening. NoAnegela is a-snoopin' and a-spyin', mmm-hmm. He stealthily creeps out of bed, dons his shirt -- damn him -- and answers his cell phone. The Man is on the other end, and tells him that the varcon gas is still at large. Jake says he thinks he's with the woman who stole it, and who probably still has it. The Man reminds Jake of the shoot-to-kill order. "Enforce it. Now!"
Jake goes into the other room with his gun drawn. NoAngela is about to make a stealthy exit, which in any other circumstances would just be an ordinary walk of shame. Jake says NoAngela should drop her handbag. She takes it off, then swings it so it whacks Jake's gun arm. She charges, wrestles with Jake, then distracts his focus by looking at a spot on the rug, so she can run back to her purse and get her own gun. Wow -- a woman stronger than a nanite-infused guy! That's awesome. Implausible, but awesome. Now the two are in a standoff, each with guns drawn at each other, warning each other not to shoot. You don't shoot! No, you don't shoot! You put it down! No, you! NoAngela says she's CIA, and whatever it is they're working for, she's sure it's the same thing. He says he thinks she already has it. She slides him her ID card, and sure enough, she's CIA. Angela Hamilton, though she said her name was Angela Wright. She explains, "I'm an intelligence agent, I'm sure your real name isn't Jake Foley." Jake opens and shuts his mouth a few times and says, sure it isn't.
NoAngela lays down her gun and asks Jake what he's doing here. NSA, he says. She says great, you must be after the varcon as well. "You'd think our agencies would have learned this, tell one hand what the other is doing." Hey, missy, our government doesn't even have a unified database of information. And I thought the CIA hated the NSA, anyway? Our government is all about doing favors for people that can pay well enough to afford bribes, and covering up mistakes. That's pretty much it. Liberty and freedom? Are just theories at the moment. We're as close to Orwell as we can get right now, and all the jingoistic displays of patriotism don't make it easier to express an opposing view to what the heads of state are spewing out. And all the merging of corporate interests make it less likely that an opposing view will even be heard on major channels. Be scared, but not too scared to speak out, is what I'm saying.
Jake asks what NoAngela was doing on his laptop. She said his cover as a watch salesman didn't add up, considering the black plastic digital monstrosity he wears. So she wanted to find out what he was up to. Look -- can he put his gun down? And can't he just call the CIA and his people and get this all straightened out? He lowers his gun, and she delivers two kicks -- one to the back of the knee, and the other to his jaw, knocking him out. Oh, Jake. You just got rolled.
So yeah, Jake ignored the order to kill the rogue agent. But The Man is still reluctant to admit to the board that the mission was a failure.
The Man stealthily enters Jake's hotel room in Santa Costa, surveys the scene, then calls Leader. "We got a problem."
NoAngela drives a military vehicle and calls some guy -- yeah, she has the gas! And don't worry, she'll be there! She hangs up, and the camera pans down to show Jake hanging onto the undercarriage of the vehicle.
Back at the inquiry, the woman asks Jake how long he held on for. Oh, about two or three hours. Smitty leans in and whispers to Silver Fox how great all that power would be when infused to a "properly trained agent." Jake says sarcastically, "Yeah, great. Nano-hearing!" Hee! So, what happened ?
NoAngela lands with the gas and her gun, and as she unpacks, Jake stands behind her with his gun. "Shut up," he explains. He knows she has the gas, and he wants it right now. I guess the only logical explanation as to why he isn't shooting her, at least in the leg to impair her, is that they were lovers. She asks if he has a shoot-to-kill order. He says, "Take another step and find out." She must realize the fact that Jake is a sensitive guy, since she wheels around and says, "It isn't easy, is it? Shooting someone you know." Oh, she's such a platinum-blonde Mata Hari! I love her. He asks what she's doing with the varcon gas, and she says she's "selling it to the government. The U.S. won't sell it anymore. I will."
Back at the inquiry, Silver Fox stops the transcription and warns Jake a second time about mentioning "the use, manufacturing, or sale of varcon gas." The woman intones that it would imply treason to do so. Jake takes a deep breath and continues. "That exact same gas was used to kill Angela Hamilton's sister." Sister Jenny, a Penn grad (go Quakers! Love that law school!), was about to go into her career as a speech therapist. She and a girlfriend were backpacking through Central America, camping in a town they didn't realize was a rebel stronghold. The whole town was gassed. "The U.S. didn't lift a finger. Never went after the guy that gave the order. Nothing." The guy that killed her sister, Alonzo, is the same military guy NoAngela has been negotiating with to deliver the varcon gas. Jake doesn't get it at first -- she's dealing gas to the guy that killed her sister? Then it dawns on him: She's going to use the gas to kill him. Jake can't let her do that. But it's too late. Jake looks and sees a convoy of jeeps rolling up behind him. "This is suicide. But you knew that." She smiles at the approaching vehicles and says, "Thank you for a perfect last night." And he's her partner who stole the vials with her. Wow, Jake is really impotent in this episode, isn't he? I really dig NoAngela, though, so it's all right. He's just living in her world now.
Jake cools his heels outside a plus-sized truck as a rebel tests the gas in a little Plexiglas box. It's good! So where are the other two vials? NoAngela wants to deliver them to Alonzo personally -- otherwise, no deal. The mustachioed rebel says very nicely that they do in fact have a deal. Hey, Muchacho. Off the female. Jake hears all this, naturally, and eliminates the guard outside with a punch to the guy and a kick to the face. He bursts inside and knocks a guard into the Plexiglas box, sending the varcon gas clattering to the floor. It emanates out, looking like heat waves on the highway. Jake tosses NoAngela a gas mask. The rebels in the truck die horribly, bleeding from the eyes and mouth. God, it's awful. A fountain of blood.
Outside the rolling laboratory of death, Jake contorts on the ground, gasping for air and barely getting any in. NoAngela gets her backpack, whips out a knife, and prepares to perform an emergency tracheotomy. "Don't worry, honey, I've done this before." With the knife poised above Jake's throat, the camera zooms into Jake's cellular system. We see the nanites working together like ants at a picnic; then Jake's hand shoots out to stop NoAngela's knife from making its final descent. He takes a huge breath and shakes his head to indicate that he's fine.
Inquiry. Leader is defending her territory. She did not lose control. "Field work is not an exact science. There are variables. Jake was pressed into a difficult and ethically challenging situation." Once she became aware of the issues, she feels that Jake did obey the orders as they were given.
Alonzo look over his dead rebels, nods when he hears it was "the American girl and her friend" that killed them, and says, "Find them now."
A jeep bumps down a road in Santa Costa. NoAngela asks "what" Jake is, since no one can survive exposure to varcon gas. Jake doesn't answer, just that he's an agent with the NSA and that his team would do anything for him, including bringing this guy Alonzo to justice. "If you do this alone, he will get away with murder." Seems he already has. And now NoAngela just wants to finish the rebel justice that killed her sister. Jake hears a tinkling sound and looks at the two Tiffany bracelets on her wrist, and asks if one belonged to her sister. Yup. NoAngela says the hardest thing is watching the news. Jenny used to rail at the newscasters, not because of what they said but how. Speech therapist, you know. "'Talk about disfluency!'" The Spanish guitars plunk mournfully, and she sniffs. Jake smiles at her, then gets a serious look. Whht-tssh!
They arrive at Alonzo's rebel stronghold. Jake walks out with the varcon gas in his hands. "You shoot me, you're dead in ten seconds." A rebel yells that he's bluffing, but Jake isn't. The rebels lay down their arms. NoAngela walks up to Alonzo and points her gun at his chest. "Do you know who I am?" He does not. "I'm a nurse from Zapuda going home to cook dinner for her family. I'm a twelve-year-old boy coming home from soccer practice. I'm a twenty-two-year-old American girl from Philadelphia with her whole life ahead of her." Alonzo says with gritted teeth, "I am not afraid to die." NoAngela says, "We'll see about that." A horrible moment passes before she finally pulls the trigger. Then she does, and it just clicks. The gun is empty. How did Jake do that? Then, more jeeps roll up, and it's The Man. The vials go back into their protective suitcases, and The Man hands NoAngela into the custody of Santa Costan officials, in spite of Jake's protests.
The Man stands before the inquiry and testifies that he followed orders to hand NoAngela into the hands of a country with "an abominable human rights record. Right now, she's rotting in one of their prisons. While the country she once served ignores the fact that she's even alive." Silver Fox listens to this and decides that he's heard enough. Meeting adjourned. He's sure everyone understands. Jake does not, and he wants to say something. Smitty says he's said enough. Jake hollers, "This isn't about field performance, it's about you finding a scapegoat!" Silver Fox booms, "You're out of line!" Hey, the whole SYSTEM is out of order, man! It's a freak-out! Smitty asks the SWAT dudes to come in and escort Jake out, but Jake locks on to the stenographer's screen, and the nanites get to work. He zooms past all the binary code, then pulls out. The court transcript appears on every screen in the meeting room. Leader and Silver Fox murmur, "What's happening? What's he doing?" Jake intones, "The transcripts of this day's proceedings are now on the server. With one blink of my eye, I can send them to the AP wire. All your dealings with the repressive government of Santa Costa, every paper will have their hands on it. NoAngela is walking out of that prison. Or else." Leader stands up and says, "This may be an excellent chance for you to reevaluate your perception of my team." The woman on the board agrees. "Maybe we shouldn't rush to judge." Silver Fox says, "This is an unorthodox team." To say the least. It's awesome that they have the NSA by the balls, but wouldn't they all be afraid to, oh, say, GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT? I mean, god. It's like, they won this round, then they're dead the . Oh well, it's just TV. I can let the TV have its tiny victories, however implausible and far-fetched. This was a fun episode, lots of sex and gore and action and politics and emotion. Though all my friends are watching The O.C., this show is still a million times better than that wrinkly "teen" dreck, and miles better than Angel too, for god's sack. So yeah, with the marital drums pounding, the team adjourns. Dr. Thora asks if they're all "free," and Leader says, "For the time being." Dr. Thora needs "tea, or something stronger. Are we allowed to drink on the job?" No, but Leader says, "We're gonna start." Woo! Me too. The Man asks if Jake was really going to send that transcript out. Jake says sure, if the email address he made up really went to anyone. Such a clever boy!
Back in the courtroom, the stenographer is sent away. The woman, stern and horsey-faced, says, "Excuse me?" Smitty had hissed, "Spineless!" The Woman says the board just handled the situation ineptly. And "if you ever talk to me in that tone again, I'll cut your tongue out. I'm not being figurative." Ooh! This episode totally belonged to the women! One hundred percent. Smitty is quaking. Then The Woman warns Silver Fox that if Leader ever fails, he fails too. And as for Jake? "That's a soldier." She "hates and fears him, but a man like that bent to your will could accomplish anything." Silver Fox hardly thinks Jake is bent to anyone's will. The Woman says, "That's something I intend to rectify." Oh, snap! Jake has a new nemesis! And a fierce one, too.
Some coffee shop rock starts up. We see the team stride down the hall, together, victorious -- for the moment anyway. Then, in a warehouse, NoAngela emerges from a car. Jake stands waiting, holding a blanket. She walks to him, and he wraps her up. He asks her if she's all right, and she says, "I am now."