By LuluBates
Whiteboy and Hoopz are the last competitors standing. Hoopz hugs Real and Pumkin. Whiteboy hugs 12 Pack and shakes Heather's and The Entertainer's hands. The Jury is dismissed without being able to make a decision. They all claim it was a great experience and they wouldn't have missed it for the world. The former enemies join forces to hit the town and give American tourists a bad (okay, worse) name. Whatever.
Once again, day comes to La Casa. Whiteboy and Hoopz eat breakfast together standing up in the kitchen. Craig calls. He reminds them that they are the final two and that this competition is for all the money. Hoopz and Whiteboy are nervous. That does not stop them from eating a healthy breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day. As they step out of the house, they are sporting matching black tank tops, black shorts, and black tennis shoes. They are ready. Game on! Craig greets them at the town square. He announces the final challenge: The Dash for the Cash. I just realized that this show is an hour and a half long. Ugh. Sorry brain cells! Craig sends Whiteboy and Hoopz out into the square to beg, borrow, barter or hook for one hundred pesos. The first to get a hundred pesos wins. Just kidding! They have to pay a taxi to drive them to the secret destination. Hoopz doesn't speak a word of Spanish and she is nervous. Whiteboy speaks Spanish, but isn't looking forward to begging for cash from the "native Mexicans." What a tool. A tool in a camisole. Craig sounds the buzzer and Whiteboy and Hoopz head off to borrow money from hard-working honest folks. Being American is embarrassing. Whiteboy and his "bilingual" skills get him the money pretty quickly and all for the cost of a kiss. Whiteboy grabs the money, grabs a taxi, and heads off to the destination. Hoopz has no luck. No one speaks any English, no one will give her anything more than a coin or two, and no one understands why a girl in short shorts and athletic shoes is throwing herself at them and groping their pockets. Finally Hoopz sells her diamond bellybutton ring to a real Negotiator. He makes her work for it but finally gives up the hundred pesos. Ew. Used bellybutton rings.
Hoopz jumps in her waiting cab and heads after Whiteboy. She hits a traffic jam. There has been some messy traffic accident ahead. As ambulances roar past her heading to the accident site, Hoopz worries about the important stuff in life. Like, you know, winning the competition on a reality show. Meanwhile Whiteboy is zipping through the streets yelling, "Rapido, chico" to his cabbie. He arrives at the destination. It's the Baja de Conejos, where they had a Power Outing several weeks ago. He has to run down the hill and find his challenge. In the confessional, he bitches about the rocks, hornets and Chihuahua-sized termites plaguing the hill. Two weeks ago the girls did this hill in heels, so whatever, Whiteboy. Anyway, it looks more fun than scary when he careens down the hill. Hoopz's cab is speeding through the streets endangering civilian lives as it races to the beach. Hoopz barely lets the cab stop before jumping out and racing down the hill. She is praying that Whiteboy tripped, fell or was otherwise incapacitated (eaten by Chihuahua-sized termites perhaps?) so she has a chance at catching him. Unfortunately for Hoopz, Whiteboy is still in one piece when he hits the beach. He finds a giant coin emblazoned with Craig's enormous head and the word "Greed." He has to roll the coin down the beach and through an obstacle course. He starts off all sweaty and breathing hard as he starts rolling Craig's giant head down the beach. As soon as he begins, he sees Hoopz running down the beach. Whiteboy reaches the end of the obstacle course and jumps onto a waiting boat and races across the water. It seems Hoopz is not faring as well. She is hot and tired and still lagging behind Whiteboy. As she rolls her oversized coin down the beach she sees Whiteboy zip off in his boat. She barely finds the energy to finish. She finally drops the coin at the finish line, boards the boat, and her head collapses into her hands in exhaustion.
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