"Zoo Or False" examines our perceptions of truth, even as it plays with them. The episode centers on one particular tall tale and subsequent versions thereof. The facts are these: Marshall either doesn't want to or can't pay for the gang's pizza. Eventually, he says he doesn't have any money on him because he got mugged. This news sends Lily into a tailspin. In fact, she later goes to the firing range with Robin and decides she wants a gun (a pink Beretta to go with some new strappy sandals she just bought). Since Marshall is always accidentally injuring Lily, he's afraid to have a gun in the house, but Lily says she's getting one and that's that.
Once it becomes clear how undone Lily is over the mugging, Marshall tells her and the gang that he was actually mugged by a monkey at the zoo. The monkey reached through the bars of its cage and grabbed Marshall's wallet right out of his pocket. After the gang engages in an exhaustive round of monkey-related jokes (see weecap), Robin asks Marshall if she can interview him on her show. She's been hating her job recently, and she thinks this is just the sort of human interest piece that might nab her some national attention.
Once Robin's producer okays the segment, Marshall tells Ted and Barney he wasn't mugged by a monkey. He says made up the story to placate Lily -- to keep her from getting a gun. Marshall says that although he can lie to them about it, because they're his best friends, he can't lie on TV.
And yet, he goes on Robin's show, ready to lie, at least until the zookeeper tells Marshall that they'll be sending the monkey, Bobo, off to a wildlife sanctuary. This will separate Bobo from his longterm mate, Milly. At the sound of Bobo's mate's name, Marshall over-identifies and then tells Robin and the zookeeper that he wasn't mugged by the monkey. But when Lily overhears, he swears by the monkey mugging. He waffles between the two stories for a while, and once the pressure becomes too much, he leaves the studio without confirming either one. Ted is there to pinch-hit as a guest, and I'll explain that in the weecap.
There was no end tag as such, but the final scene was so outrageous, I'll save it for the full weecap, too. Right now, I'd like to talk about this episode, and this season. Is it just me, or is something...missing? This was a cute, amusing episode. It poked lightly at the audience, but more in a tickling way than a nasty one. It was a clever acknowledgment of something the audience has known for some time: Ted is not a reliable narrator. Everyone got along. No one was so annoying that I had to put him or her into a timeout. And yet, this episode did nothing for me.
I've felt for some time now that HIMYM should have been planned out as a five-year show. Just when it feels like we should be diving down deep, instead we're still killing time, splashing around in the shallow end. Don is given a big build up, turns out to be a drunken lout, and then we're told (but not really shown) that he's not the drunken lout we've seen, but actually a great guy, and then we hardly see him in any way that matters. We meet the mother's roommate, see the mother's ankle, even, but we hear nothing about her after that. Barney and Robin are shoved together after seasons of build up and then ripped apart, act like their relationship and break-up meant nothing, and then have an emotional coming to terms about Barney's inconsiderate behavior, long after the audience vowed to forget the whole terribly mishandled pair. And now we're left with this monkey business. If I weren't covering this show for TWoP, this might be where I stopped watching. I hope that changes. I hope, at the end of the season that I'm hugging this show tight, and promising to never lose faith again. Right now, I'm wishing I'd watched Dancing With the Stars, even though that Kate Gosselin is still on.
I'll hit the crazy big finish, as well as the jokes and quotes in the weecap, so check back tomorrow. In the meantime, come on over to the forums, where, yes, we have no bananas.
"Zoo Or False" examines our perceptions of truth, even as it plays with them. The thing is -- does it justify our ongoing devotion?
Nightfall; Central Park Bench: Marshall sits with his head in his hands (which I'll try to remember to address at the end) as Saget!Ted narrates: "Kids, you may be wondering how many of these stories I'm telling you are true. It's a fair question. After all, there's a fine line between a good story and a baldfaced lie." And Kids, because you may be wondering, there are light years between a good episode, and this one. Flash to...
MacLaren's: Barney chats up his latest mark, a pretty blonde named Sarah (Collette Wolfe) as Saget!Ted continues: "I've never met anyone who could work that line better than your Uncle Barney. Heck, he could jump rope with it." Barney convinces Sarah that he's Neil Armstrong, and is now currently aging backwards, because he went through a wormhole or some gamma rays on his way back from the moon. I'll be right back, after I stick my head in the oven, but only because it has an electric rather than a gas range. Damn it.
The Apartment: Ted, Marshall, and Lily listen to Barney's bragging. No matter how many space-related double entendres he throws at them, they don't believe any girl fell for such a story. Ted: "Why do you feel the need to lie, all the time?" In response, Barney pulls out his cell phone, producing the pictures to prove that he and Sarah "made sweet love." Great, that phrase has now lost what little meaning it retained.
Robin comes in, bitching about her job. Marshall thought she'd be psyched, because she just interviewed the mayor, but Robin reveals it was only "Mayor MacWoof" (E. E. Bell) who wears a dog-costume and teaches kids not to litter. In a flashback, we find out he didn't do either of those things on Come on GET UP New York. Instead, he shilled insoles (from Bon 'Appy Feet). When the "mayor" tries to demo the shock absorbency of the insoles with a hammer, he smashes the prop table. Robin yells, "Cut," but cameraman Mike (who seems to be the new Ranjit, but no Ranjit -- if you feel me) has long stopped paying attention to the interview segment, and is, instead, flying paper airplanes across the studio. "Sorry, Robin. I got bored." Robin doesn't blame him. I think. I'd rewind, but I have to get my paper airplane out of the lamp on my occasional table, before it catches fire. Robin is dying to do one decent, newsworthy interview. Ted's ready, willing, and able -- and not because he caught seven peanuts in his mouth -- in a row (Marshall is impressed). No, he's been selected to build a scale model of the Empire State Building for the largest recreation of the New York skyline in the world.
Flashback; Apartment: Robin catches Ted standing before his (sizable) model. He's got three little dolls and is acting out the end of Sleepless In Seattle (and apparently, that's after acting out the whole rest of it, too). Despite being Bitchy in Boston, I laugh.
Back in the present, Marshall says, "Oh, Ted." He waits a beat and then whispers, "Again?" Hee. Ted would totally love that movie, wouldn't he? Maybe we should get him a kid who can help him find the mother. Anyhow, it's then that the Pizza Delivery Guy Arthur (Breaking Bad's Badger; Matt L. Jones, reprising his role from this season's "The Rough Patch") arrives. Lily answers Ted's door and asks Marshall for pizza money. Marshall hems and haws, then declares he doesn't think he should have to pay because he doesn't like pizza. Ted reminds him of their ritual multi-state TANTRUM fueled treks just to eat pizza at the filthy Gazzola's. Everyone else chimes in to debunk Marshall's claim, too. Arthur gets best shot: "Marshall, there's a cartoon of you, on our coupons." Yeah, Barney has a joke in there too, but it's only funny because of NPH's flawless delivery so there's no sense recounting it in print. Anyhow, Marshall says he doesn't have any money on him, because he got mugged. The gang falls silent. Finally, Marshall asks if somebody will pay for the pizza. "I'm starving." He then addresses Arthur. "How's your dad, by the way?" You'll be relieved to know he's better. I'm glad someone is. Oh, thank goodness. Here comes the...
Theme Song! (It's a three-fer of sorts. Click it. You know you want to.)
In the first version of Marshall's mugging tale of woe, he is cutting through Central Park on his way home from work. A nervous guy in a bandana (John Dore) points a gun at him. Marshall wisely gives the man his wallet without delay. As Marshall tells his story, Barney echoes everything he says, because he's going to use this as a scam for sympathy sex. Marshall: "Barney, that won't work." A beat, and then he turns toward his wife. "Will it?" Lily: "Big time." Marshall to Barney: "I'll allow it." Heh.
Her libido aside, Lily is freaking out, like you do upon finding out the love of your life was staring down the business end of a gun. She is shaking and afraid she'll be unable to sleep tonight. Robin: "Aw, here sweetie, I have something that will help you sleep." She reaches in her purse and pulls out A HUGE HONKIN' GUN! The gang recoils. Barney ends up perched on the top of the sofa. Robin doesn't let that break her stride. "Just stick this under your pillow. You'll sleep like a frickin' baby." Ted tells her to put it away. Robin protests that it's not going to hurt anyone, but as she says the safety is on, she realizes it isn't, which was so predictable as to take the shine off what may have been the second best scene of the night. Marshall says everyone should just relax. He'd just like to forget this happened and try to move on with his life. Barney continues to mimic him. Marshall ignores it and tries to reassure Lily. Barney rehearses some more, but twists Marshall's words to make them dirty. My paper airplane lands in the fireplace. Lily ignores Barney, and addresses her man. "Baby, you don't have to worry about me. I mean, yes I'm a little scared, but I'm a New Yorker. I'm not going to let this change me." We cut to the...
Firing Range: As Robin looks on, Lily indulges in some target practice. "I'VE CHANGED!" She smiles, broadly. "I'm a gun person now." Hee. Lily's pathetically girlie physicality while shooting the gun is topped only by the little rabbit punches Sarah Michelle Gellar's Buffy would deliver in her training sequences.
MacLaren's: Marshall is appalled to learn Lily wants a gun. Lily: "Not a scary one. Just a cute, little pink Beretta that matches these adorable strappy sandals I just bought. By the way, our new credit card works." I'll try to remember to address this at the end, too. Marshall trots out statistics regarding gun accidents and reminds Lily how he's always accidentally injuring her. In a series of flashbacks, we see (an oh so young looking) Marshall injure Lily with a champagne cork (after proposing). That's the only incident I recognize, and I don't have time to research. Other accidental injuries include: a sleeping Marshall hitting a sleeping Lily in the face; Marshall opening the fridge door and banging it into Lily's face. In the last two flashbacks, Marshall and Lily dance, until he sends her flying across the room (we hear a smash). Cut to a cowboy-costumed Marshall admiring himself in a smashed mirror. He's startled by Lily who is wearing a Scream-esque scary costume, rather than the sexy cat costume he expected. Before he realizes it's just Lily, Marshall punches her in her masked face. Back at MacLaren's, he can't believe she wants to bring a gun into that equation. He's got a point, and a pretty good right hook. Lily understands, but she's too freaked out by the accident. She can't imagine what she'd do if anything happened to him.
So, Marshall changes his mugging story, claiming he was too embarrassed to admit the truth at first. When Barney assumes the guy was wearing a black knit cap, Marshall says he wasn't wearing anything, and we fantasy flash to a naked John Dore mugging Marshall. Ted: "I'm not going to ask where he was keeping the gun." But no, the mugger wasn't a naked human, he was a naked monkey (and more of a pickpocket than a mugger if you ask me). Marshall stops at the Central Park Zoo on the way home from work. The zookeeper (also played by John Dore) warns Marshall not to get too close to the monkey's cage. Marshall shrugs off his advice and the monkey picks his inner suit coat pocket and grabs Marshall's wallet. Lily, Ted and Barney dissolve into laughter. Commercial.
After the break, the gang cracks wise about Marshall's monkey mugging. Ted: "It really is a jungle out there." Lily: "The monkey has our address. What if he's in a gang? I hope he doesn't do a swing-by." Ugh. There's then a suggestion that the monkey was doing something gross with the wallet (which is why Marshall didn't ask the zookeeper to get it back). Just then, Robin walks in, so they tell her there's new info on the mugging. Robin: "Did they catch the guy?" Ted: "Well, he's behind bars." Robin: "Where did they find him?" Lily: "I'm guessing naked in a tree, throwing his own feces." Robin: "Ahh. I've seen that guy. See, that's why I take cabs." Ted: "You know how they caught him, right?" Marshall (unenthusiastically): "There was a tail on him." Ted (giggling): "There was a TAIL on him." Finally, they let Robin in on the joke. Barney insists on telling the story, so now we're treated to a series of flashbacks set to ragtime, in which Marshall is either eating a banana, or following a banana on a string -- that the monkey is using as bait, or being held up by the monkey who is holding the banana like a gun. Marshall has had it. "THERE WAS NO BANANA!" Robin says she knows Marshall didn't get mugged by a monkey. Sheepishly, Marshall admits Barney got that part right. Robin cracks up, as does everyone else. Huh. I thought sitcoms were about making the audience laugh. Marshall points out that people get mugged by monkeys all the time in places like Thailand (now I want Thai food for lunch), China, and Costa Rica. "Monkeys are gatherers. Because of their intersocial dynamics, having a genetic pre-disposition toward stealing gives one a genetic advantage." Geek-Marshall is so cute. Lily probably thinks so, too -- but she can'
t stop laughing. "You were mugged by a monkey!" Ted: "Maybe he was just curious. Were you wearing a yellow hat?"In all seriousness, Robin tells Marshall this is a great story and she asks him to appear on her show. Ted is jealous. He wants to be on the show, but Robin says no one wants to see a guy come on her show and play with dolls. Ted points out that that's not what he was doing (he totally was), and that Robin just had a guy on her show playing with dolls. In flashback, we see Robin interviewing a really creepy guy, Simon (Collin Christopher) who collects porcelain dolls. While on the air, he hollers at one of them for having an affair with G.I. Joe. "What were you thinking? What if you had gotten pregnant?" Ted can't believe the guy is now invited back for a follow up interview. Robin's only doing that at the behest of the FBI, so they can search the guy's house. Robin says the story has everything and asks Marshall to do the interview for her sake, as a friend. Marshall asks her to promise to present it in a way that doesn't make a joke out of the fact that he got mugged by a monkey. Everyone cracks up, again.
Ted's Apartment: Barney bursts in and announces he's just been mugged, but he's just reenacting how the scam worked (or didn't) with this pretty young brunette at the bar, Lisa (writer, producer, actor Celeste Thorson). In the flashback, Barney tells Lisa how he just wants to forget being mugged and move on with his life. She's sympathetic, but just as he starts to make a connection, Sarah (the girl from the open) comes up behind him and starts calling him Neil, which totally pulls me out of the scene, because that is NPH's name, after all. Barney turns to tell Sarah his name isn't Neil and chokes when he realizes who he's dealing with. Lisa wants to know why Sarah is calling him Neil. Sarah explains to her that he is Neil Armstrong. Lisa says, "The cyclist?" I'm biting my tongue so as not to derail the weecap, trust me. Sarah says she thought Neil-Barney was off on a shuttle mission. Lisa thought he just got mugged. Barney concocts a story about being mugged on his way to the launch pad. The mugger took his space shuttle keys, of course, and hey, who wants to have a three-way? In the flashback the girls agree.
Ted's Apartment: Barney tells Ted it was the best three-way ever. But Ted and Marshall point out that Barney looks like he just got two drinks thrown at him. Barney pouts and whines. "The story's better with my ending -- just -- okay." He continues with the story until Robin walks in. If you're feeling kindly, you can assume he stopped for her sake. If you're me, you'll figure he only stopped because she mercifully interrupted him. At any rate, she pitched the monkey mugging story to her producer, and it's a go. It might even get picked up to go national, which could make Robin famous. She giggles and retires to her bedroom.
Once the guys are alone, Marshall says, "This is bad. I can't do this. [...] I wasn't mugged by a monkey." Commercial.
MacLaren's: The guys continue their conversation about not being mugged by a monkey. Barney doesn't like the new-old monkey-free version of the story and keeps trying to reinsert the monkey into it, but Marshall explains that he made up the story so that Lily wouldn't get a gun. "The truth is, it never happened." And while he's fine lying to his best friends (insert Barney claiming sole ownership of the label), Marshall can't lie on TV. Barney asks Ted to determine if Marshall is telling the truth or not. He leans right into Marshall's face and stares, but all he notices is his cologne. Barney's decided to continue saying it happened. Ted points out that Marshall can't risk Robin's credibility and allow her to report on it if it's not true. Barney argues that reporters lie all the time. "A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth." We flash back to Barney at the bar with the two women. He admits that the three-way story didn't go exactly the way he said it did.
MacLaren's Flashback: Sarah and Lisa throw their drinks in Barney's face when he proposes a three-way, and then stomp off. Barney calls after Lisa, but when the brunette stops, he realizes he means Sarah. He apologizes for lying about being Neil Armstrong. Sarah admits that she was less than honest, too. She's not 28. She's 31. Barney looks nauseated. The accompanying horror-movie music drowns out whatever she's confessing here: "And if we're being completely honest, I went to the doctor the other day, and..." I should care more about that than I do. Back in the present, Barney whines about having bedded a 31 year old, rather than a 28 year old "with sun damage." He then stresses to his friends that people want the lie -- they need the lie. "You were mugged by a monkey, just as sure as I had that three-way." He rises to reveal he's wearing the Tricycle belt. "I am the greatest, in the world." Lily enters, realizes he's wearing the belt and gives him five. She mentions how great she's sleeping, now that she knows that Marshall got mugged by a monkey, and then heads up to the bar. Once she's gone, Marshall changes his tune, again, and says he was actually mugged by a monkey. Barney lets out a triumphant "Yes!" Ted doubts this story. He examines Marshall's face for signs of a lie again, but again is distracted by Marshall's cologne. "It's intoxicating."
Come On GET UP New York set: Ted's got his Empire State Building model in the wings, covered by a sheet, just in case Marshall punks out of his interview at the last moment. Marshall and Lily are already seated and ready for their segment, but Robin has a surprise. She's had the zookeeper bring in the monkey, Captain Bobo, so that Marshall can face his attacker. Because of the incident, Captain Bobo will be sent to a wildlife sanctuary. Lily is excited, imagining Bobo will like it there. The zookeeper says it won't be so happy. The move will separate him from his longterm mate, Milly. With her name sounding so much like Lily, Marshall can't help but over-identify with the beast. Lily is off camera when the interview begins. Robin asks Marshall how the whole thing went down, but Marshall tries to deflect attention to Ted's sheeted model. Robin cuts to commercial so she can ask Marshall what the hell he's doing. Marshall tells Robin and the zookeeper that he wasn't mugged by the monkey. But when Lily overhears, he swears by the monkey mugging story. He waffles between the two tales for a while, and once the pressure becomes too much, he leaves the studio without confirming either one. "All right. Here's the truth. I am going back to bed." Saget!Ted tells the kids that they never found out what really happened to Uncle Marshall's wallet. "But we do know this: Aunt Lily never got a gun; Robin's credibility remained unimpeached; and Bobo and Milly lived out their days together, in the Central Park Zoo." I'm thinking Uncle Marshall has got to be a monkey's uncle, because at this rate, Ted is never going to meet the mother.
Since her whole segment has fallen apart, Robin gives in and tells Ted to get ready to be interviewed. He's already miked up and made up. Before Ted takes his seat on the set, Barney comments that he's sticking to the monkey story and he's keeping the "banana on a string" detail. Ted says, "Enough with the lies. You can't just tack on a new ending because you're not satisfied with how a story wraps up." Huh. I'd always figured Ted was way into fan fic. Joking aside, did anyone else's stomach flip when Ted said that? I mean, Ted is loosely based on Carter Bays who, I think, is still unmarried. What if? Nah. I'm not going there, not when I'm already feeling snarly. Dear Writers: Just in case -- if this was a trial balloon for a game change of that kind, I'm standing here with a bigass needle.
Anyhow, as Ted takes his seat, Simon is in the background, blow drying (!!!) his dolls' hair (while the FBI, I presume, is searching his house). Barney tells Ted that one day, he'll see things Barney's way. Meanwhile, we hear the tinkling beginning of The Rolling Stones' song, "Monkey Man."
And now, it's time for one of the most fantastical sight gags I can recall -- certainly on this show, and maybe ever. Saget!Ted sets it up. "And then, kids, you'll never believe what happened." Mike points out that the monkey is out of his cage. Bobo climbs up on Simon's doll table and snatches a miniature blonde doll. Simon yells out. Bobo leaps from the doll table to scale Ted's Empire State Building (model) with his own, faux Fay Wray wrapped in his tail. When the zookeeper can't get Bobo down, Mike says he can do it. A la King Kong Mike sails his paper airplanes right at Bobo, who is either kissing or trying to eat the dolly. Cut to the interview chairs. Robin and Ted watch with their mouths hanging open. Ted: "Is this really happening?" Barney, who is inexplicably behind them, sips his coffee and smiles. "Sure is, Ted." As the paper airplanes continue to assault poor Bobo, Saget!Ted says, "True story." Hee!
I was hard on this episode, so let me point out that I did love that last scene. It was so stupid it was brilliant. It did, however, make me feel like they somehow came up with that scene, and decided to write an episode around it. I know people on the boards have said the same thing. As I noted in the recaplet, this was a cute, amusing episode. It poked lightly at the audience, but more in a tickling way than a nasty one. It was a clever acknowledgment of something the audience has known for some time: Ted is not a reliable narrator. Everyone got along. No one was so annoying that I had to put him or her into a timeout. And yet, this episode did nothing for me. Since so much of this episode happened at Robin's studio, where was Don, who gets damn little story or screen time, considering how much hype there was in introducing him? If he's going to be important to Robin in some way (and he'd better be, after the way he was trumpeted at the beginning) then let's get to it, already. And while I've got my Irish up, why after all the teasing this season, does it seem we're getting further and further from meeting the mother?
Okay, bitching aside, I think it is possible this episode might be the setup for future issues between Lily and Marshall. In the cold open, Marshall was sitting on the park bench with his head in his hands. At the end of mugging version 1, the mugger walks off. We don't see what Marshall does after that. I've never been mugged, but I'm thinking he'd high tail it out of the dark park after such an encounter. He squeals like a stuck pig and runs away after the monkey pickpockets him in the monkey version of the story. When I put that together with the fact that John Dore played both the mugger and the zookeeper, and add to that Lily's offhand comment about buying new sandals with a new, working credit
card, I can't help but remember their past money woes. I sort of hope they don't return to that well. At least, I hope that Lily's charge-a-holic days are over. If there are more money troubles in store for these two, may they be brought on by something fresh. Marshall ran a football pool at work, right? Maybe he could have a gambling problem, or something. This episode could also be a set up for Barney, heaven forbid, getting a woman (Sarah) pregnant (for real, since we've already had a scare), or catching a nasty STD (please please please please please).That said, I don't give a flying frick if this is a setup for future problems. If I someday find out that's exactly what it is, that doesn't mean I will suddenly feel like this episode was worth it in the now. For me, it's like the ruination of Barney, this season. Okay, so now, he knows that his sexual bragging hurts Robin and he's apologized, sent her on a date, and has seemed to have cut down (some) on sharing his exploits in front of her. That doesn't change the fact that he was insufferable for weeks on end. I love when plot points pay off in the future. But I need the episode to pay off in the present too, if you want me to keep watching, Show. Don't get me wrong. I chuckled at this episode much of the way through, but at the end, it left me feeling cold. It left me feeling like this was a show I wouldn't mind having on in the background if there was nothing else on. What it didn't do was convince me that HIMYM should remain appointment TV.
Up week is the all new "Home Wreckers" in which Ted attends his mother's wedding. Harry Groener (the Mayor from Buffy) guest stars, which gives me something to look forward to. Until then, come on over to the forums, where, yes, we have no bananas.
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