The episode starts and ends with Barney being interviewed by the police, right after they pull him from Hudson River. We're led to believe he threw himself in over some dame. A dame who dares to say no. That dame's name? Jennifer Lopez. Well, actually, her character's name is Anita Appleby, but here she's still Jenny from the block. J.Lo's Anita is the author of a series of Rules-type books, such as Of Course You're Still Single: Take a Look at Yourself, You Dumb Slut. By saying no to a guy or a jerk (there's no difference, don't you get that, you dumb slut) one turns him into "a submissive, sniveling puddle of a man." SEXAY, right? Of Course.
Anyhow, Barney sets out to get J.Lo to say yes, even enlisting Ted to help him plan a "Super Date" meant to break J.Lo's 17-dates-before-sex rule. What the boys don't know, is that Jen is totally on Team Robin. The women met when Robin interviewed her about her book, and after the segment, cried about Barney's post-breakup insensitivity. J.Lo tells her, "You say the word, and I will destroy him." After listening to more crowing about Barney's sexcapades, Robin calls J.Lo and says that word (actually, two words: "do it," which Barney, Of Course turns into a double entendre).
The B-plot revolves around Robin, in part, because Marshall, Of Course, is determined to get her and Don together. But more importantly, it features Marshall, and then Ted, and then Barney coming to terms with how insensitive they've been by rubbing Barney's pathological sex life in Robin's face, since the breakup. Barney's realization even prompts him to confront Robin. During their conversation, he -- Of Course -- swears she was never just another number to him, and promises he won't sleep with J.Lo. Of Course his "no" turns J.Lo into a submissive, sniveling puddle of a woman, who is more Team Self than Team Robin, and all too ready to abandon her standards and sleep with Barney even before dinner, never mind a predetermined number of dates. Her final proposition is so dirty, we never get to hear what it is -- which is, Of Course, why he throws himself in the river. But he keeps his promise, 'cause it's different, he has a soul now, or something. And Robin and Don, Of Course, go on the Ted-planned Super Date.
Why it gets a B-: this was a tough episode to grade. It's amusing -- entertaining and certainly better than the last couple of outings. The cast is a well-oiled machine. They make even a lackluster story better than it ought to be (and the glorious NPH makes Barney shine, even when he's no more than a pig rolling in his own shit). They hit every note in "Of Course" and Jennifer Lopez more than holds her own, too. But while I understand that it is necessary to see the Anita character hoist with her own petard, having Barney responsible for her undoing leaves a bad taste in my mouth, perhaps because his character has gone nearly rancid, this year. Also, the "lesson" he learns here is too little, and far too late in the season, even though there have been a handful of moments setting up this episode, since the breakup. I can't grade it as just a stand-alone, because this sitcom's claim to fame is its serial elements and continuity, and this episode draws heavily from that well.
Supposedly, Bays and Thomas broke up Robin and Barney so quickly in order to get the show back to normal. But it's still not there. It went from all about Robin and Barney to all about Barney, and in the course of things, Barney has become a shadow of his former self. Now we learn Robin has been crying over him, even while moving toward something new with Don. And Don? I'll get to him in the weecap. In the end, I'm left feeling like the writers are calling us all dumb sluts for our disappointment, because Of Course they planned to examine the fallout of Barney and Robin's breakup, all along. Well, this dumb slut never doubted that, she's just not satisfied with the execution.
I hate to close on that note, so I'll mention that the high points for me are Ted's "Super Date" song, and Marshall's "Bang Bang Bangity Bang" ditty (which really is catchy). I have mixed feelings about its use in the end tag, which I'll hit in the weecap, so check back tomorrow. In the meantime, come on over to the forums, [insert your own joke about TWoP's rules, here].
After hitting up the forums, brush up your Barney in our HIMYM Dictionary.
Saget!Ted opens the episode, sans kids. "Kids, on a warm March evening in 2010, a New York City Police boat pulled a 34-year-old white male out of the Hudson River -- your Uncle Barney." Huh. I'd always heard that stuff floats. We see Barney sitting on a bench by the banks of America's Rhine. The female cop (Joni Bovill), who is probably younger than he, takes out her notebook. "All right kid, let's hear the story -- from the beginning." Barney wrests the narration reins from Saget!Ted, and makes like a film noir protagonist. "Well, it all started a week ago." We flash back to...
MacLaren's: Barney continues: "I was making time at the local watering hole. Enter: a dame." The camera starts at her shoes and pans up slowly to reveal the lovely and talented Jennifer Lopez. She is a vision in royal blue, by the way -- a fresh, healthy golden girl -- as curvaceous as ever. The crew blows back her hair with a fan, but she looks so faboo, I almost want to believe her hair naturally does that, whenever she chooses, even when she's indoors. Then again, I'm also given to indulge in the fantasy that real-life conversation with La Lopez sounds just like it reads on the Fug Girls' site, even though I know better. Anyhow, J.Lo saunters up to the bar and she and Barney begin their flirtatious banter, which they later carry back to...
Barney's Apartamento: J.Lo is muy touchy-feely with El Barnacle. "Barney, when I get in bed with a man, my body becomes a machine fueled by desire, lust, and a singular hunger to satisfy my lover's every carnal need." Barney cracks that it's a good thing the cleaning lady is coming tomorrow, but that's not what matters. What matters is what comes . J.Lo leaves him there, stewing in his own juices. As she's on her way out the door, he says, "I thought your body was going to become a machine, fueled by desire, lust, and a singular hunger to satisfy my every carnal need." J.Lo flips her hair as she turns back to look at him. "No." And she's out the door. BOOYAH!
Angry Theme Song, Which -- YES -- Is Dedicated to You, SHOW!
Marshall and Lily get to meet Don when Robin brings him to MacLaren's. After he leaves, Marshall can't stop singing his praises. This could be the beginning of a beautiful bromance. Anyhow, Lily encourages Robin to take a dip in the dating pool, as it's been four months since her breakup with Barney. Marshall echoes the sentiment, adding that Barney's dating (that's dating?) again and couldn't be happier. In a predictable bit of juxtaposition, we cut to...
Ted's Apartment: Barney: "I couldn't be more unhappy." In so many words, he complains that J.Lo's character is a big tease. Ted gets to say the episode title: "It sounds like she read that book, Of Course You're Still Single: Take a Look at Yourself, You Dumb Slut." I'll save you my rant about the use of the word slut and related terms on TV. It's enough that you know it's lurking inside me, and it's starting to resemble the darkness growing inside Sayid. When Ted grabs a copy of the book off the side table, Marshall, Lily and Barney heckle him, even though he explains it's Robin's copy. WHOA! Robin owns a book meant to help single girls find husbands? Do tell, Show. Nope. Show goes right on, I suppose, because, it must....
Ted flips through Dumb Slut's pages, and asks Barney if the new dame seemed to subtly slip the word "sex" into the conversation. In a flashback, J.Lo substitutes "inter-sex-ion" for "intersection"; "having a couple of sex" for "having a couple of secs"; "it totally sex" for "it totally sucks"; and "horse sexcrement" for "horse excrement." And, Of Course, flashback Barney is practically drowning in his own drool. Back in the apartment, Ted then asks if the new dame made excuses to establish physical contact. In the flashback, she does just that, feeling up his suit. (See quotes at the end.) Back in the apartment, Ted instructs Barney on the final test necessary to determine if she's familiar with Dumb Slut. "time you see her, ask her out for the following night. The book says that's forbidden, so she'll probably give you some lame excuse, like this..." In a split screen, with Ted on the left and J.Lo on the right, they simultaneously say: "Ooh, I can't do anything tomorrow night. I've already made plans to clean my garbage disposal and treat myself to a bubble bath. But, how about week, sometime?" We jump forward to...
MacLaren's: Barney yells, "Aha! You're trying that Of Course You're Still Single: Take a Look at Yourself, You Dumb Slut crap on me!" J.Lo takes great umbrage at the idea that Dumb Slut is crap, arguing that it's brilliant and closing with, "And, it scares away guys who are only interested in getting laid." Barney: "Why not just say you have a kid?" I hate myself for laughing. They move on to discuss the book's recommendation of not sleeping with a guy on the first date. Barney fakes like that's fine with him for dates one and two. Date three? "Well..." The fourth date: "Would you tell me how many dates?!" Per J.Lo -- it's 17. Barney hisses, takes a seat in a stool at the bar, and promptly falls off in a dead faint, 'cause that's comedy, right?
Ted's Apartment: Ted confirms that the book advises a 17-date wait. Lily suggests Barney give up the quest. Barney will do no such thing. He's sure there must be a loophole in "Ted's" book (Ted makes sure to remind everyone it's Robin's). Their conversation is interrupted when Don calls Robin, asking her out for the upcoming Saturday. When Robin waffles, Marshall runs to the kitchen, picks up the extension, adopts a ridiculous falsetto, pretends he's Robin, and accepts the date. "We can even go to a steakhouse, and you can bring home some delicious Prime Rib for my friend Marshall... Okay. Gotta go. Love you. Bye." All the while, Robin has been jumping on Marshall's back trying to snatch the receiver away from his yapping maw. Robin, girl, you have the cordless phone in your hand. No jury of your peers would convict you if you whacked him on his overgrown skull, especially for that "love you" slip. After Marshall hangs up [which he didn't, because, Robin still has the other phone on - Zach], he tells her she has to go on the date. "A great guy like Don is rare, and speaking of rare -- Prime Rib. Don't forget. Thank you."
When Marshall gets back to the living room, Barney is flipping through the Dumb Slut book. When he gets to the back cover, he's surprised to see the author's picture. It's J.Lo, or rather, it's her HIMYM character, "Anita Appleby," i.e. Barney's reluctant dame. He announces: "My plan was to sleep with her, but this changes everything." He rises to his feet. "New plan. I'm going to sleep with her!" The laugh track reminds us of our duty as we cut to...
MacLaren's: Robin, Lily and Marshall sit at the booth, where Lily is chuckling about Barney pursuing a woman who seems to be the Anti-Barney. Can we swap them out for a few episodes? Please? Please? Nobody answers. Nobody cares. Instead, Robin confesses that Anita has set her sights on Barney at Robin's request. In a flashback, we see Robin interviewing J.Lo about her Dumb Slut book series (upcoming title: Of Course You Don't Have a Retirement Plan, Yet: Take a Look at Yourself, You Dumb Slut). Robin: "But, um... if you had to summarize your book in 30 words or fewer less..." J.Lo can name that tune in one note. "No! By saying no constantly and consistently, you empower yourself, while simultaneously turning any jerk into a submissive, sniveling puddle of a man." SEXAY, right? Of Course.
During their break, we watch as Cameraman Mike slips off Robin's hook and onto J.Lo's. When he asks the ladies if they'd like coffee, Robin says she would, while J.Lo says a firm, "No." Once the women are alone, J.Lo asks Robin about her love life. When Robin demurs, J.Lo prods her to open up. In a quick cut to MacLaren's, Robin confesses to Lily and Marshall that she told J.Lo all about about Barney's post-breakup insensitivity. When we cut back to the Come On, Get Up... set, J.Lo makes Robin an offer: "Barney needs to be taught a lesson. You say the word, and I will destroy him." She goes on about the power of No and right after Robin expresses her doubts, Mike returns with a cappuccino, an espresso, a latte, a decaf, and a Turkish coffee for J.Lo, and nothing for Robin. As J.Lo raises the Turkish coffee to her lips, she tells Robin to think about it.
MacLaren's: With help of a flashback (also set in MacLaren's) in which Barney compares some new mark (a Pilates instructor) to a younger Robin, with "bigger boobs... maybe not bigger, but more... shapely... and bigger, too," Robin tells Marshall and Lily that she thought about it, and called Anita, whom I can't help but call J.Lo. In the flashback, just as Barney finishes his description of Ms. Pilates, Robin makes a call and we cut to...
J.Lo's Place: J.Lo answers with a "Hello," as, back in MacLaren's, Barney is telling the gang, "I get [Ms. Pilates] up against the Stairmaster and we..." to him, at MacLaren's, Robin gives J.Lo the go-ahead over the phone. "Do it!" Barney complains: "SPOILERS!" Robin gives him a look. Back at J.Lo's, our undercover angel of the week says, "It's done." When she hangs up, Mike is there to bring J.Lo a Martini. She smiles at him. "Thank you, Michael." We cut back to...
MacLaren's: Robin tells Lily and Marshall that she knows it was stupid, but back when she took J.Lo up on her offer, she was still upset about the breakup, and going through her mourning period. "It was a lot of Scotch, and a lot of long nights at the shooting range." Lily says, "I hope those weren't the same nights." Robin rolls her eyes. "Jeez, Lily. It's not like I remember all of them." Heh. We cut to...
DOWISETREPLA: Marshall tells Lily he thought Robin was fine after the breakup and is surprised to learn she went through a mourning period. Lily explains that while Robin puts up a good front, she caught her crying a couple of times. Upon hearing this, Marshall is stricken with guilt. Saget!Ted narrates about Marshall realizing he'd been a jackass to Mourning-Period Robin, and we flash back to...
MacLaren's: We revisit the scene after Don leaves Robin, Marshall and Lily, and Marshall tells Robin that Barney is "dating" again and couldn't be happier. But this time, Robin smiles politely and Lily cringes as Marshall babbles on about how "active" Barney has been. He leans across the table toward Robin to make sure she catches his drift. "...Sexually." A beat. "He's just been like bang! Bang! Bang! You know." He continues on like this, with seated pelvic thrusts and whatnot, then rises, and sets the whole thing to music which I still can't get out of my head. "Bang bang bang, bangity bang, I said a-bang bang bangity bang." He gets right in poor Robin's face. "A-bang bang bang..." And so on. In the episode thread, the lovely and talented cagewench likens the song to this version of "The Bird."
Back in DOWISETREPLA, Marshall chastises Lily for letting him embarrass himself in public. Lily is clearly distressed, and yet... "I know, but that song is kind catchy." Kinda? They join in an earworm-inducing duet. And so I don't forget at the end, I'm calling nonsense, right here. Lily never met a situation that made her keep her mouth shut. If she knew Robin was crying over Barney's bragging, she would have told everyone and anyone who would listen. Be better than that, Show.
MacLaren's; Corner Round Booth: When Barney laments that he cannot find a loophole in the Dumb Slut book, Ted proposes that he packs 17 dates worth of romance into one date that will ensure he seals the deal -- a Super Date. Ted breaks into a Super Date musical number (see lyrics in the quote section at the end) and a revolving green screen sets the boys in a horse drawn carriage, a fancy restaurant, at an ice skating venue (Central Park, I think -- it doesn't look like 30 Rock), the opera, and fireworks over the Manhattan skyline. At then end of the song, Barney comes over all wistful. "That... sounds... gooey and romantic." Ted, chin leaning on his fists, looks more fulfilled than he has for the past five and a half years. "Yeah." Then, suddenly, the guys remember themselves. Barney winces. "Strip club?" Ted sits up straight. "Strip club!"
MacLaren's; Night of the Big Dates: Robin runs into Marshall at MacLaren's and when he mentions her impending date with "the D-Bag" (see quotes at end), she announces she cancelled, and walks off. When Lily and Ted walk in, he tells them Robin called off her date. Ted's confused, because she was psyched for it not an hour ago. We flash back to...
Ted's Apartment: Robin, all ready for her big date with Don, comes out in a form-fitting red dress with barely there spaghetti straps. Ted likes. "Robin Scherbatsky, you look like the classiest, most expensive prostitute, ever." Robin "Awwws," him with genuine pleasure. I throw up a little in my mouth. But she's good with it, and he's her friend, so who am I to judge? What does set Robin off, is Ted telling Robin about Barney's impending Super Date with J.Lo. "Yep. Carriage ride. Dinner at Le Tombeur des Culottes..." (ha: The Ladykiller of the Breeches) "...They're calling it a..." Ted makes air-quotes. "... 'Super Date' -- so..."
MacLaren's: Marshall, who just found out how terribly insensitive he's been to Robin during her relationship mourning period, screams at Ted for being blind to his insensitivity during Robin's relationship mourning period. Ted realizes he has been a horrible jackass, as we flashback to Marshall's "Bang Bang Bangity Bang" ditty. Only this time, Ted walks up and joins him for a verse. As Lily squirms in discomfort, Robin tries to maintain her Zen.
Once the flashback is over, Ted screams, "Oh, God," and then asks Marshall and Lily where Robin is. Marshall says he thinks she's in the ladies room.And Robin is in the ladies room, crying -- when Marshall, Ted and Lily barge in, hug her, and murmur apologetic noises at her as she tries to assure them she's fine. We then cut to...
Barney's Place: Lily, Marshall and Ted arrive. As soon as Marshall is in, he punches the head off of Barney's Storm Trooper, which makes me much happier than it ought to. When Barney's all WUWT, Marshall says, "I'm angry at you. I'm angry at me. I'm angry at Ted. And frankly? I'm still angry at the Empire." Hee! The guys berate Barney for not respecting Robin's mourning period, as if they had done so, all along. When Barney is confused, Lily lays it out for him. "Of Course She's Upset: Take A Look at Yourself, You Dumb Slut!" Amen.
First, we flash back to a scene at Ted's from "The Playbook." As we saw at the time, while Barney's describing his "He's Not Coming" mark, Robin takes her leave to buy a newspaper. But, what we didn't see before is Robin after that -- out in the hallway, crying. And remember back in "Rabbit or Duck" -- when the Super Bowl camera caught Barney holding up his sign? Remember how Robin was a cool customer and called dibs on his wings? Yeah, well after that, she went out into the kitchen, sat on the floor (with the plate of wings, yo), and cried and cried and cried. What's worse is that Barney joined in with Marshall and Ted in Marshall's "Bang Bang Bangity Bang" ditty at MacLaren's. Playing the frickin' spoons. The weight of this revelation hits Barney hard. He throws up in the Storm Trooper helmet he's still holding in his lap. And we cut to commercial, which I hope is long enough for me to quiet down my gag reflex. Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't want Barney to puke and often. It's just that I don't want to watch it. In case anyone in charge of these things is reading along, I also don't want to see TV characters using the toilet (or a urinal), or masturbating. Thank you very much. [Knowing somebody with emetophobia has made me shake my head at how commonplace impromptu TV vomiting has become. There should be warnings. - Zach]
After the break, Barney asks Lily if Robin's been this way since their breakup. Lily clarifies that she was doing much better until the J.Lo-centric Super Date reared its ugly head. "And now she's off sulking... God knows where." Barney nods. "I know where." And we cut to...
Firing Range: Robin gets off a couple of tearful shots before Barney walks in. When she sees him, she removes her goggles and ear protection, and tries to act casual as she rubs her eyes and pretends that she's glad he and J.Lo are hitting it off. "I'm so glad that you two... randomly... happened to find each other. It just... warms my frickin' heart." Without putting her gear back on, she picks up the gun, and fires off four more rounds. When the gun is empty, she growls and throws it at the target. Barney tries to pretend she's not upset, but she finally lets it all out. Constantly talking about his conquests makes her feel like she was just another number to him. Barney assures her she isn't. Robin then complains that he's now taking J.Lo, who he barely knows, on a Super Date, when she never got treated that way. "It just sucks, that's all. It just sucks." Barney knew he was bad at boyfriending, but never guessed he'd be even worse as an ex. He apologizes. He wants to make it up to her, so he asks her how to make things up to her. Does this not seem terribly condescending to the rest of you? Grrrr. Anyhow, Robin tells him he's already proven she's not important to him. Barney won't take no for an answer and tells her to ask him for anything. Big fricking deal, dickhead. Er, that was from me. Robin says, "Okay. Don't sleep with Anita." Oh, Robin. Don't. Don't. Barney says, "Done." Robin calls bullshit. "Why else would you be taking her on this Super Date?" Barney shakes his head. "She's not going on the Super Date, Robin. You are." Uh... screw you, Barney. That was me, too. Robin's expression is more WTF. And so we cut to...
Ted's Building; Exterior: Saget!Ted narrates that Barney finally gave Robin the Super Date she deserved. And thank goodness it's not with him, because I would have had to go out and buy a Storm Trooper helmet, to accommodate the symptoms of a double-barrel stomach virus. It's Don (Saget!Ted describes him as "A guy she truly deserved"), in the carriage with her.
MacLaren's: Of Course Barney's "no" turns J.Lo into a submissive, sniveling puddle of a woman, who is more Team Self than Team Robin, and all too ready to abandon her standards and sleep with Barney even before dinner, never mind a predetermined number of dates. Barney keeps turning her down, so she turns to Ted and asks, "How about you? You interested?" Ted rasps out a, "Yeah!" But J.Lo can't let go of the Barnacle. Her final proposition is so dirty, she has to whisper it in his ear, and we never have to hear what it is. Thank goodness for small favors. Barney keeps his promise to his friend, though. Whoop-de-doo. He rises, slips past J.Lo, walks calmly, if quickly, out of the bar (I was expecting that flaily-y run, weren't you) and down the street.
Riverfront: When Barney gets the to river, he dives right over the fence and the "No Diving" sign affixed to it. We jump forward to him giving his interview to the Police Officer we met during the cold open. She issues him a $500.00 ticket for jumping in the river. "I hope it was worth it." Not if he didn't drown, officer, no. Just then, fireworks light up the Manhattan skyline. Barney looks up at them and we cut to Robin and Don, watching the same scene. They look at each other. We cut back to Barney who says to no one in particular, "I hope so, too." And then, Robin and Don kiss.
End Tag; The Apartment: Marshall, Lily, Barney, and Ted are sitting around nattering, when Robin exits her bedroom. All excited, Marshall sits up straight and asks her how the big date went. Robin is grinning from ear to ear. She says it went pretty well, and that she will leave it at that (and at "fine" and "nice" and "we had a good time"). The smile never fades. She starts back to her room and then turns back to face the crew. "Although, um... one interesting thing did happen." She leans towards her friends and sings: I said Bang, Bang, Bangity Bang, A-Bang Bang Bangity Bang. They all join in -- harmonizing, even. But Barney sits on the couch, smiling an appropriately subdued, "I deserve that" smile. Marshall even has a banjo. The gang sings us into the black. I feel sorry for Robin that she had to go there.
Why it gets a B-: this was a tough episode to grade. I explain my grading more fully in the recaplet (which you can get to at the top of page 1 of this weecap). Suffice it to say, although I enjoyed it (and certainly more than the past few clunkers) I can't grade it as just a stand-alone, because this sitcom's claim to fame is its serial elements and continuity, and this episode draws heavily from that well. So I have to look at this one in context of the entire Barney/Robin arc, and you know what -- we already had Robin reveal her discomfort TO Barney, regarding Barney's sexual bragging, back in "The Playbook," i.e. the VERY FIRST EPISODE AFTER THEY BROKE UP. And you know what? He didn't care. He kept on using her to complete his SCUBA Diver play. This episode just feels like cheap fan-service, and does nothing to change the feelings this arc has evoked for the past 8 or 9 episodes. I enjoyed the episode (and Jennifer Lopez was a surprising delight), but I'm not digging the story one little bit.
And so no. Just no. Barney was always a rake with a heart of gold. Now he's a caricature of himself. Neil Patrick Harris is a wonder. Barney Stinson is a repulsive, self-absorbed dick. I hope, I really hope that this is the episode that brings him back to where he was, just even mid-season 4. But I'm not counting on it. I hate, though, to leave the weecap on that note, so instead, I'll leave it on these...
QUOTES of NOTE:ANITA: Nothing sexier than a man in a fine cravat.
BARNEY: Except for a woman who appreciates a fine cravat.
ANITA: How about we just call it a tie.
ANITA (pawing Barney's suit): Is this cashmere?
BARNEY: Cashmere?! It's virgin Merino -- the fibers in this suit are less than 12 microns thick.
ANITA: 12 microns? I love a tiny fiber.
BARNEY: Well, you're in luck, 'cause mine's the tiniest, and the more you touch it, the softer it gets.
Ted's Gooey And Romantic Musical Number
You don't have to take her to Paris or Peru
(Barney [spoken]: Uh Ted, whaaaaat are you doing?)
You just have to make her understand
(Barney [spoken]: Ted, people are looking at us.)
What she means to you
(Barney [spoken]: Oh God, really? Really? You're really going to do this right now?)
On your Super Date...
Troubles of the world will simply have to wait
For wonders and amazement served up on a silver plate.
Hurry up now, don't be late.
'Cause hand in hand you'll find a land
Where paradise awaits.
(Ted [spoken]: And then, BOOM! Fireworks over the Manhattan skyline. You kiss her.)
And that's your Super Date!
MARSHALL: So, tonight's the big night. Where's the D-Bag taking you? [A beat.] That's not a good nickname for Don. I'll think of a better one.
BARNEY: I can't believe Robin's been so upset.
MARSHALL: I can't believe you threw up in your Storm Trooper helmet.
BARNEY: Eh. I did something worse in it, after the Phantom Menace
After hitting up the forums, brush up your Barney in our HIMYM Dictionary.
Cindy McLennan feels like Barney's helmet after The Phantom Menace. Tell her why she's wrong at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com, or on Twitter.