In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Lily and Marshall are hosting Thanksgiving for the first time in their very own place, so Marshall declares the day Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap. That's not all Marshall's done, though. He's taken the liberty of inviting Lily's estranged father to dinner. You can imagine how happy this makes her. Lily's father is a loser, who sponges off people, because all he does for a living is make horribly conceived board games. Even worse -- he has flaked out on every important event of Lily's life. He even missed her wedding. Of course, that's because Lily didn't invite him to the wedding. She didn't invite him, because she had already declared him dead to her. I don't usually go for that kind of thing, but I'm with her this time, because he's played by Chris Elliot. Shudder. We learn Lily's declared a lot of people dead to her over the years, which is awesome, because in the flashbacks, she sort of goes all newfangled Dark Willow on them, and her victims poof into ashes.
But you're here for the slapping, right? Well, it's awesome, too. In the spirit of giving, Marshall has decided to give his fourth slap to Ted and Robin, but they must decide which of them actually gets to administer it. This leads to good, old-fashioned holiday fighting. In the end, neither of them can bring themselves to slap Barney. (Really? Not even Robin?) So as Barney finally relaxes, Marshall surprises him with a slap that knocks him to the floor. He stands over him and triumphantly declares: "That's FOUR!"
I'll catch you on the flipside with the full weecap and what might just be the best end tag of all time (and a honey of a theme song link I've been saving for a special occasion). In the meantime, come on over to the forums and help me bake my pies and clean my house. Pretty please.
Look up Slapsgiving in our HIMYM Dictionary. And get the latest recaplets, weecaps, blogs and more on-the-go via your smart phone with TWoP's mobile site.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Hymns, carols, and other holiday songs are important. I skipped church this past Sunday, and felt particularly bad about it, because it was Thanksgiving Sunday. Then my mother stopped by and mentioned that the congregation didn't even sing "We Gather Together," and suddenly, I was downright glad I didn't go. You can't skip over the essentials on holidays, and thus, I feel it is only right and proper to mark this Slapsgiving with sacred song. Will the congregation please rise and sing along with (Marshall and) me?
What is this feeling
That's put you in your place?
A hot, red burning
On the side of your face.
You feel the blood rush to your cheek.
Tears start to fill your eyes.
And your lips are trembling
But you can't speak.
You're trying,
Oh you're trying
Not to cry.
You just got slapped!
Oh-oh
Across the face, my friend!
Oh-oh-oh
You just got slapped!
Oh oh oh oh oh
Yes, that really just happened!
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Everybody saw it.
And everybody laughed and clapped.
It was awesome
The way that you just got slapped.
Amen. Now, in November 2009, Marshall and Lily hosted their first Thanksgiving in their own place. Marshall got the perfect 22 lb. organic turkey, but while he was bragging about it on the phone to Lily, he left it in his cab, which promptly took off. But on Thanksgiving morning, Ted and Robin come to the rescue -- turkey in hand. Marshall's ready to dismiss it, but according to them, it's the very same turkey. It was turned in to the Port Authority, where it was stored in the fridge. It's a holiday, people. Believe in the magic, okay? When Robin takes her turkey out of the shopping bag, Marshall recognizes it as his own and squeals with delight. After he kisses it, Lily takes it to put it in the oven, because on TV, you can start a 22 lb turkey whenever you feel like, and it will be ready to eat once you're in the mood. Again? Magic. Marshall tells Ted and Robin they're the best friends ever, and as he embraces them, Barney moves in to get in on the hugging action, but Ted says, "No," and pushes him off.
Marshall's still overwhelmed with gratitude and emotion toward his friends so he decides to show them how much. "Ted Mosby, Robin Scherbatsky, I bequeath unto you... the fourth slap." Robin and Ted gasp like those Price Is Right showcase contestants who get like a car, a speed boat, a cruise and a weather machine. Barney, meanwhile, nearly chokes on a slapetizer. Saget!Ted then gives us the history of Marshall and Barney's slap bet, and reminds us that slap 3 (of an eventual 5) was doled out two years ago, on Slapsgiving, 2007. Robin and Ted can't believe their good fortune, and Marshall can't resist rubbing it in Barney's face, even if he's not going to be dishing it out. Barney protests that slaps aren't transferable, so Marshall appeals to Lily -- the Slap Bet Commissioner. She declares slaps to be transferable, and the crowd goes wild. Robin reminds Marshall that this is his second-to-last slap and asks if he's sure he wants to give one away. Marshall says, "Life is short. I figure, 'Slapay Diem.'" His only rules are: the slap must be dealt before sundown, so as not to interfere with Lily's delicious dinner; Ted and Robin have to decide between themselves who gets to dish it out; and, for the event itself, they're going to tie Barney to a chair which shall be referred to as "the slapping throne." Everyone loves this, except, of course, Barney. And although he hasn't yet been enthroned, Barney, who is gulping down his wine, flinches every time either Robin or Ted makes the slightest movement, and even when the doorbell rings -- which it does. Lily asks if they're expecting someone else as she goes to answer it. She opens it to find Chris Elliot. Goodness, Lil, don't you have a peephole and a deadbolt? Slam the door and dim the lights and don't open it again, whatever you do. She doesn't listen. She's too busy looking at the Elliot-beast and saying, "Dad?"
Theme Song! (You MUST click that link; I've been sitting on it for nearly a week.) [Do what the recapper says. Jason Segel is awesome. - Zach]
Saget!Ted informs us that the relationship between Lily and her dad, Mickey, has always been tough. He's devoted his life to creating the great American board game, and Lily was never the priority she should have been. Flashback to 1988, and wee Lily in a pink tutu telling him he missed her ballet recital. Mickey was too tied up in making his board game "Tijuana Slumlord," to make time for his tiny dancer. He missed her gymnastics meet while putting the finishing touches on the game "Car Battery" (which seems to come with an actual car battery. Mickey asks wee Lily, "How long can you hold on?" and then brings out the jumper cables). A pajama-wearing, teddy bear-clutching wee Lily informs her dad that she couldn't sleep. He tells her to come play his new game. "There's a Clown Demon Under the Bed." I knew it! I knew it! Oh, sorry, back to the story. Wee Lily flees in terror -- screaming at the top of her lungs. Lily put up with her dad's ways until 2006. We flashback to Lily and Marshall visiting Lily's grandparents (played by Christina Pickles and Jack Walsh) who are retiring to Florida. Except they totally can't, because Mickey was kicked out of the apartment he was sharing on account of not paying his share, or any share at all. Now poor, truss-wearing grandpa has to go back to work. At the steel mill. Do we still make anything in America? Mickey swears he'll just be sponging off the folks until he gets Aldrin Games Unlimited off the ground, with his latest attempt: "Dog Fight Promoter."
Marshall tries to smile politely at the goings-on, but Saget!Ted narrates: "And then Lily gave her dad a look that Marshall had only seen a few times before, a look we all prayed never to be on the receiving end of - her You're Dead To Me look." As music that sounds like it's straight out of The Exorcist plays, Lily's (then dark) hair blows back. Her nostrils flare. Her eyes glow fluorescent orange. My word, I feel like I'm looking at Dark Willow! Heya, Dark Willow. Don't you need to suck all the magic out of all the books before you do that? No? Don't smite me Dark Willow. I am not the droid you're looking for. Chris Elliot is right over there! Dark Lily turns to her father and he poofs into thin air, leaving only ashes in his wake. Saget!Ted then brings us back to...
Slapsgiving 2009: Lily stands at the door just staring at this man who sure seemed dead-to-her to me. Mickey smarms, "Hey, Princess." He brings out a board game box he was hiding behind his back. "I brought 'Diseases'!" (Yeah, and that's the game, but shudder, Elliot really gives me a wiggins, so... um.) Lily, having mercy on me, slams the door on his face, and we cut to commercial. I'll be right back after I shower.
Lily asks Marshall what Mickey is doing there. Marshall suggests they invite him in and find out. Lily used to be on a vampire show, so she knows an indiscriminate invite is never a good idea, but she doesn't want to startle the mundanes, so she just says she doesn't want to see him and runs out to the kitchen. The rest of the gang sits in awkward silence on the couch, while Marshall goes to the door and tells Mickey to hang tight while they work things out. Mickey makes a joke about his game and having diseases. I can't keep showering after every scene he's in. My skin gets so dry in the winter.
After Marshall goes out to the kitchen, Robin and Ted talk worriedly about Lily. Ted notes that the whole relationship has been so hard on her. Barney chimes in -- but only to fret about himself. "Just tell me which one of you is going to slap me! [...] I'm dying over here! Ted reaches for a chip, I flinch. Robin fixes her hair, I flinch. I'm doing so much flinching; it's bad for my skin. I'm getting crow's feet. CROW'S FEET!" He covers his eyes and sobs.
Marshall and Lily's bedroom: Marshall tries to talk her into giving her dad a chance, but Lily says that after all the stress Mickey has caused in her life, it's just easier for her if he is dead to her. Marshall lists off a list of people who Lily has declared dead to her, and we're treated to flashbacks of the newfangled Dark Willow poofing each one away: newspaper borrowing neighbor, Mr. Ossias (Urn of Osiris, anyone); Bridesmaid Whitney who tells Lily -- who is wearing her strapless wedding gown -- that she's not a fan of strapless; Mr. Park from the bodega downstairs who lied that the coffee he was giving her was decaf, when it so was not (sleepless, Lily lies in bed and says, "You sonofabitch" before she goes down to the bodega and dusts him). Marshall's point is that although he supported her when she declared all those random people dead-to-her, Mickey is her father, and it's Thanksgiving -- he doesn't want to ask him to leave. Lily says, "Oh, you don't have to ask! Just tell him that it's really important that he be here. And before you know it, he'll be at a board game convention in Toledo, giving your braces money to some guy claiming to be Milton Bradley." When Marshall suggests that Mickey was just trying to provide for the family, Lily snips that that's what her mom did by working two jobs. Her father broke her heart every single day for 20 years. Marshall thinks a moment. "We'll just -- we'll just give him some dark meat." Hee. [But that's the most delicious meat of all! - Zach] Lily sighs in exasperation, and we cut to...
Living Room: Ted tells Robin why she should get the slap. He wants to be her Slaprentice. Robin tells Ted he should do it. He's a slap rock star. His name should be Eric Slapton. Ted insists that Robin do it, and Barney's so upset he demands that they put him in the throne and get it over with. Robin accepts Ted's offer, which angers Ted, because his offer wasn't sincere. He was just being nice. As the two bicker, Barney relaxes for the first time all day. "This is interesting."
Bedroom: Marshall tries to explain the importance of family to Lily. Lily then mocks his ridiculously close family, which includes video conference calls from Marshall to the weekly Eriksen family Sunday dinner. In the flashback, computer-screen Marshall leads the blessing. Hee. Lily says that's just weird, but Marshall wants their future family to be that close, too, and that includes her dad. Lily states in no uncertain terms: "That man will never cross the threshold into this home, ever." We cut to Marshall peeking out into the hall to update Mickey. He tells him it will just be about five more minutes. Mickey is seated on the hallway floor. He says, "Hopefully soon, amigo. I'm fighting a losing battle with hemorrhoids, here." And he doesn't mean one of the diseases in his latest board game. Did you have to go there, Show? I feel sick.!
Back in the living room, Robin and Ted continue to stake their claim for slapping Barney, which turns into an argument over who did more to rescue Marshall's perfect turkey from the Port Authority. Barney eggs them on, because they've only got an hour before their sunset deadline. Finally, Ted says, "You slept with one of my best friends!" Robin sort of reels back at that one. "What?! You -- you said you were okay with that." Ted yells, "Well, I'm not!" Robin says, "Well, why didn't you say something at the time?" Ted says, "Because I'm still in love with you!" Barney looks at him. Robin looks at him. Crickets. Finally, Robin says, "Do you really want to slap Barney so bad that you would lie about being in love with me?" Ted's knees buckle as he whines, "I really want to slap him, okay?" Robin walks away from him.
Just then Marshall follows Lily and the turkey out of the kitchen and into the dining area. He lays out all sorts of ways in which Mickey is trying to redeem himself -- getting his own place, getting a real job, paying off debt, etc. Lily wonders how Marshall knows all that. Marshall admits that he met Mickey for a drink last week, and conspired to fix things with him. In the flashback, Mickey tells Marshall that he always thought they'd make amends at her wedding, but he never got an invite -- never even saw any wedding photos. Present-Day Marshall narrates that it was at that moment, Lily's father broke down crying, but we're still in the flashback, where we see Marshall blubbering like a baby and inviting Mickey to Thanksgiving. Back in the present, Lily is incensed -- and says Marshall has no right. But Marshall says, "You and I are married, and that means he's my family, too." He then walks to the door and invites Mickey in, because that's not going to be uncomfortable, at all. Sheesh, Marshall. Why didn't you just leave a cheesy plate of ziti in the sink and be done with it? Commercial.
The gang, sans Lily, sits around the table. The food is untouched. They're playing Diseases. Marshall wants to go look for Lily, but Mickey says she just needs time. Barney's all for dragging things out, and encourages it, which reminds Ted and Robin to continue their argument. Then it dawns on Ted that the slap, which was supposed to be a gift, has turned them against each other. Robin agrees. "This once pure fruit has turned into a poison slapple." She's slap-solutely sure that Ted should take it. A timer has been ticking this whole time, by the way. Marshall again suggests they go looking for Lily. Mickey talks out of the side of his mouth at Ted. "Gall bladder -- about to pop." Ted stands up and escorts Barney to the slapping throne. Barney plays the sexism card in order to stir up one last bit of trouble between Robin and Ted. Ted tries to tell her not to let him get to her, but Barney's good. "That's what you've always wanted, isn't it, Robin? A strong man to take care of you? I mean -- sure, growing up you were a scrapper, playing hockey with the boys, skinning your knees on the ice... But what you couldn't tell your teammates -- what you couldn't even tell yourself -- was that all you really wanted was that pretty white dress, in that pretty white chapel. And at the end of that center aisle, strewn with pretty white flowers, a man... to do all your slapping for you." Robin, who has been smiling and shrugging this off all the while, lunges for Barney. "LET ME AT HIM!" Ted holds her back. The timer dings. Something on Mickey's Diseases game explodes, and Marshall, Ted, Robin, Mickey -- and the turkey -- are covered in what non-parents might describe as brownish mustard. We parents will hold our peace.
Ted asks what happened. Mickey laughs. "Sorry, Ted. Gall bladder burst! You move back three spaces." It is then that Marshall finally loses his patience. "You come in here, and you watch your daughter leave and you don't even care. And now you've destroyed Thanksgiving dinner! Lily -- Lily worked all day on this!" Mickey tells him to relax. "It's not real bile. It's just lead-based paint from China." Oh, well then -- invite over the neighborhood children. It will toughen them up for the hectic Christmastime toy-chewing rush. Mickey waits a beat. "And horse bile." As Marshall rises from his seat and looms over his father-in-law, Saget!Ted narrates that it was at that moment that Marshall gave Mickey a look they'd never before seen. The Exorcist-y music starts up, and Marshall looks like he's about to hold his breath, but then relaxes his face. Mickey asks the gang what he's doing. Ted asks Marshall, "Did you swallow some of that paint?" Marshall explains that that was his you're-dead-to-me-look. The gang tries to mumble supportively. Mickey says Lily's is much better. Marshall screams, "Get out of my house!" and we sideways slide to...
The bodega downstairs: Marshall finds Lily seated at the counter and says it's the last place he would have expected her to be (as Mr. Park was one of the aforementioned Dark Willow victims). He apologizes and says he's learned that family isn't a right, but a privilege. He said he kicked out Mickey and he'll never make her see him again. Lily spins towards him and cries. When Marshall asks her what's wrong, it all comes pouring out. "Marshall, I came in here because it was cold and this was the only place that was open. I wasn't even gonna look Mr. Park in the eye. And then I found out...Mr. Park died." When someone who was dead-to-her turned up dead to her, Lily felt awful and she realized that since she feels so bad about not making up with Mr. Park, "A guy who meant literally nothing to me..." Her confession is interrupted by the horrified and heartbroken sobs of a woman I assume is Mrs. Park, who scurries out of sight. Lily continues: "We've gotta go get my dad." Marshall takes his coat off to wrap it around Lily and we cut to...
Dowisetrepla Hallway: Mickey's just exiting the door as Lily and Marshall approach their apartment. Saget!Ted narrates, "So that's how on Thanksgiving 2009, your Aunt Lily performed a miracle." Lily and Mickey hug as Saget continues: "She brought a man back from the dead."
Dowisetrepla Dining Area: Marshall stands up and bangs a knife up against the wine bottle to get everyone's attention, even though they're already seated around the table. When they look up, he tells Barney that it's time for him to take his place on the slapping throne. Barney appeals to the Slap Bet Commissioner -- begging that he not be tied to the chair. Lily says, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Less yappin', more slappin'." Marshall says it's two minutes before sundown. He asks Ted and Robin who's going to be the one to "slap Barney right in his face." Ted nods across the table at Robin, indicating that she should take it. Robin smiles and says it's going to be Ted. Ted asks, "Why me?" Robin says, "Last year, you got left at the altar. You lost your job. But you've come such a long way since then. I'm so proud of you, Ted. You deserve to slap someone in his face -- as hard as you can." Ted grins at her. "Thanks." Over on the throne, Barney complains that this is "the worst." Ted rises to slap Barney, warms up, but then checks his swing -- but not before Barney screams out, "MAMA!" Ted turns to Robin and recounts her recent relationship and breakup with Barney. "While I know you and Barney left it on good terms, isn't there some part of you, deep down, that wants to slap him right in his face?" Robin says, "There is." Ted says, "I know there is." Barney says, "This is basically hell on earth." Robin and Ted hug and then she approaches Barney. She shakes herself loose, and winds up, but when Barney squeals, "It hurrrrrrrrrrrts," before she even touches him, she can't bring herself to do it, either.
Robin offers the slap to Mickey, as a welcome-to-the-gang gesture. Mickey can't do it, either. He turns to Lily and offers her the slap for all the ballet recitals and art shows he missed, and the wedding gift he never gave to her. They hug, but Barney protests. "She's the Slap Bet Commissioner. She's supposed to remain impartial." Lily looks over Mickey's shoulder. "Slap Bet Commissioner says it's okay." Lily rubs her hands together in anticipation, but she can't do it either, and wonders why. Marshall says, "Because this slap has done exactly what I hoped. It's brought us all closer together. And it's caused us to recognize both the frailty and the greatness in ourselves and each other." Barney rolls his eyes. "Oh, give me a break." Marshall ignores that, kneels down, and while he's untying Barney, he announces that there will be no slap today. Barney marvels at his newly freed hands. "Oh my God!" He stands up. "This is the best Thanksgiving ever." And as he turns to face the gang, Marshall wallops him right across his left cheek, and sends him flying to the floor. Marshall raises his hand and four fingers. "THAT'S FOUR!" A beat. "So? Turkey?" Fade to black.
End Tag: It's a commercial, featuring Twister-esque style and happy kids. It's for the newest board game from Aldrin Games Unlimited: Slap Bet! The announcer says, "The slap-happy game that's a real hit." That's when the jingle kicks in. It's an upbeat version of our holy Slapsgiving hymn. Is nothing sacred? God.
You just got slapped
Across the face, my friend.
"For kids of all ages."
You just got slapped
Oh, that really just happened.
Oh, everybody saw it. HA!
Everybody laughed and clapped,
'Cause it was awesome
The way that you just got slapped
"Slap yourself silly with Slap Bet, the happy hitting game from Aldrin."
The announcer (Neil Patrick Harris) then reads the ensuing disclaimers: "No kids were actually slapped in the making of this commercial. Kids, slapping someone is a dangerous activity and should not be done."
It's winter hiatus time, which means lots of reruns, so work off your extra servings of pie in our forums. Happy Thanksgiving, and because I'm not sure how long the HIMYM hiatus will last, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, too.
Look up Slapsgiving in our HIMYM Dictionary. And get the latest recaplets, weecaps, blogs and more on-the-go via your smart phone with TWoP's mobile site.
Cindy McLennan is sleeping outside of Toys R Us, in hopes of getting an early copy of Slap Bet! E-mail her at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com, or follow her on Twitter for all your holiday shopping needs.